When To Run

stopThe Question:

Dear Rori,my name is Connie. I am 32yrs old and I am dating a 53yrs old man who is separated from his wife of 20yrs. They have two children. A boy and a girl of 20 and 17 yes respectively. We live in different countries.

Things were fine,he came to visit me and it’s been great. Some few days ago, he went to court with his ex-wife on a motion he filed. Since that day,his attitude has changed completely.

He calls me only if he wants to talk. And he makes the conversation so short. Whenever I call he will give an excuse and say he’ll call me back but never will. When I send him a text, he takes a very long time to reply. I have decided to let him be but I am hurting.

I am exclusive with him,he’s like my best friend we used to talk 24/7 so these few days is taking a toll on me. I have taken days off from work because of this.

Rori,please advice me. Do you think, this is a relationship worth waiting for? He says the trial for the divorce is in May. Does that mean that anytime he’s not happy, I must be forgotten? I am very worried and sad. I am planning to start a family as soon as possible. I am 32 and feel I should give birth. Please help me as early as possible. Thanks, Connie.

My Answer:

Run, Connie! Get away from this man as quickly as possible and begin Circular Dating eligible men who want family and children as you do.

Yes, short. Not sweet.

Why should she not even give this man a chance?

How about if she just stepped back, became non-exclusive, dated other men, and responded to him when he called or visited?

Because he clearly does not care!!!!

If he cared about Connie, and for her, he would be calling her.

He’d be trying to visit. He’d be Skyping.

Even “leaning” on her during this “tough time” would be “something.”

I say – “Goodbye…” and “Next.”

Connie, please let us know how you’re doing.

Get on online dating sites, start getting social, and you’ll quickly find a man who wants what you want.

Do not give a man who doesn’t want what you want – NOW, not “later” – the time of day.

Love, Rori

 

 

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Who’s Running Your Life From The Inside?

10-6 love yourselfI want you to start noticing how you’re running your life.

Are you running your life always trying to make something happen – or are you running your life just leaning back and letting other people do stuff for you?

Are you waiting for someone to get you?

Is your boy energy not in use?

Are you making excuses? Is your boy making excuses?

Then I want you to look and see what is your boy doing or not doing that is showing up in the men you’re seeing out there…

Whatever is going on with your boy energy inside you, that is what’s showing up outside in the men
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Love Forever Live Teleclass Today at 11am PST!

tiltheadIn just a few hours – get your personal questions answered by me, live, in the newest Love Forever teleseminar!

***If you have a personal relationship question or situation you’d like me to address, just sign up for “Love Forever” anytime before the class TODAY, Wednesday, February 11th, 11am PST/2pm EST/7pm Europe - and you’ll get instant access to the Love Forever program (over 26 hours of recorded classes), and you can write to me today during the class from the Love Forever Teleclass webpage. I’ll answer you right then and there!

http://www.coachrori.com/love-forever-program/

(Love Forever is a personal, interactive program, where I work with you on deeper levels of using the Tools you may already have from my programs, and give you completely NEW ones.)

In addition to answering your personal questions, I’ll be talking about how to TALK to a man, how to UNWIND any patterns that have developed between you and a man you’re with (or seem to always come up with men you date) – and I’ll have a special guest, Coach Valarie O’Ryan, to help you and me specifically with Valentine’s Day gift-giving questions!

Love, Rori

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Put Your Love Life Back Together – Love Forever Teleclass On Wednesday, February 11th – In Time For Valentine’s Day!

0608263003-copyJoin me on the newest Love Forever LIVE teleclass on February 11th at 11am PST, 2pm EST (just in time for Valentine’s Day!) – and get your unique, personal questions answered by me, live by phone or webcast.

(PLUS – Coach Valarie O’Ryan will answer your questions about Valentine’s gift-giving, always a real dilemma for me…) –

Go here to find out how to get on the class–>>

http://www.CoachRori.com/Love-Forever-program/

Here’s a letter from Helene, who’s been devastated by her husband’s behavior:

The Question:

“Dear Rori, My husband of twelve years wants to end our marriage.

We bought two acres together and built our dream house on it. It took two and half years of labor, and basically living our lives apart except for weekends. We agreed to live this way because it was necessary for him to stay at his present place of employment in order to help finance the project, while I stayed on the land with our
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Repairing Your Trust In Love

030-220The Question:

Carol says, “Rori, How can I repair myself to trust and try again? I’m in my mid 50’s. I’ve been widowed for 16 years and I’ve only tried one relationship and it ended on his part with no warning and I feel shocked and I’m analyzing?”

My Answer:

Why are we so surprised when a relationship ends?

Why are we invested in a man to the point where he makes a decision, we’re going to be devastated?


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Miranda Kerr Talks About Circular Dating

targetingI was just sent this article from Harper’s – an interview with the lovely model, singer, organic cosmetic line mogul, and self-help author Miranda Kerr:

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a5460/miranda-kerr-interview-0215/

In it – Miranda sounds like me! She (or the interviewer from Harper’s) uses the term “circular dating” this way:

“Kerr cites the concept of circular dating: seeing a few men at a time and keeping all options open until you’re sure a man is worth it. The idea is about saving ladies from investing in unsuitable men. ”

Here’s more:

“Men don’t want to be disrespected, and women feel the best when they feel cherished,” she says. “So if a woman is feeling cherished, she will respect a man, and if a man’s feeling respected, he will cherish a woman. It doesn’t need to be complicated.” She continues: “You know, for a long time I had it the wrong way. I was constantly doing, doing. Giving, giving for my partner. But what works is not feeling like you have to be everything to everyone.”

And more:

“Miranda Kerr thinks it’s fine for a woman to date multiple men as long as they don’t sleep with any of them.

“The 31-year-old star – who split from Orlando Bloom in 2013 after three years of marriage – advises against having sex on a first date because she thinks it’s better to go out with a number of potential suitors to keep your options open.

“To the issues: How to prepare for a date? “What really works is to spend 15 minutes and focus on feelings and moments that have made you feel really good. Remember those moments so you can build up a positive force field around you.”

“Next, should a girl ever call a guy? “I don’t believe in that. I believe in the man chasing the girl, but that’s just me personally.” Texting? “I think a woman should respond but not reach out.”

“Which brings us to the timeless question of sex on the first date. Out comes the notepad. “My philosophy is that until you get to know them it’s better not to, because energetically as a woman you get attached. So you’re better off to go on a few dates and see if you want to get attached or not.”

From Rori: I think this is just a great article, and that Miranda Kerr is awesome. I’ve commented there to thank Harper’s for mentioning the term, and inviting them to the blog to check out more about “Circular Dating,” how it’s not really about “dating” at all (it’s more Free Therapy), and how you amazing Sirens are all using it…

If you have anything to say there as well – please feel free to comment! I feel very proud that Circular Dating was “coined” here on the blog (a google search confirms it!), intensely laid out in “Targeting Mr. Right,”  and that more women are now doing it.

Love, Rori

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A Schoolgirl Crush, Or The Real Thing?

maninbottleHere’s a letter from Alice that may sound very extreme to you – and it’s a common, everyday experience that so many women are having.

It may seem like the height of “being taken for a ride.”

And yet, to Alice, it feels like love and potential.

It feels like “he’s afraid of commitment.”

The truth, for me, is more like:

There is no one and nothing to blame – AND – there’s nothing here for you.

“Hi Rori,

I have read the blog, the emails, I am working through some of the programs and learning some things, but I still have trouble figuring out what to do about my current situation. Since I emailed you last, things have gotten a lot worse, and my heart is breaking.

I met this man online at the beginning of March, and the connection was instant. We
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What Can I Do To Get Him Back?

rosestemThis is such a powerfully painful letter from Lydia, and just reading it, I feel such a painful pull into old feelings I’ve had in my life of simply…losing myself.

To Lydia – this has nothing to do with this man, and all to do with your wanting to put so much of your energy into him.  At the end, I’ll help:

My ex of 7 years and I were suppose to have gotten married. I ran him away with my attitude and drama simply because I did not know how to remain humble when we had a problem.

I allowed others to interfere in our relationship because I always listened to rumors and then I took it back to him to confront him and blame him…..when all I wanted was to let him know how hurt I was (sometimes I found evidence on my own that let me know he had been unfaithful or dishonest to). As for as the rumors, I never had evidence of those rumors.

There were times when I honestly believed they were true. However, the only reason I would question him or believed the rumors was because I had found evidence where he’d betrayed me. There were times when I acted a fool. He simply got tired, and I was
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Amazing Articles By Rabbi Shmuley

lovebirdsI came across these articles by Rabbi Shmuley by accident – and instantly felt “GOT.”

I have never read anything like this from a man, and am in touch with him to get an interview and help from him around this situation.

 

Here are the articles:

http://www.algemeiner.com/2013/02/18/husbands-who-extinguish-their-wives’-libidos/

and

http://www.algemeiner.com/2014/12/16/women-want-to-be-wanted/

Here’s what I wrote to the Rabbi:

“Dear Rabbi Shmuley, my name is Rori Raye, I’m a relationship “expert” for women
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New Years 2014 – Love Is All There Is

rori with seals nycThis is my traditional New Year’s post – and I’d love to create something new with your help….Do you have any traditions for the New Year that feel great for you?

I’d LOVE to put together a post, or a report that has New Years rituals and traditions – goddess ones, shaman ones – things that YOU do that make you feel good! You can put them as comments here, and I’ll copy them off and put them together into a piece! I’ll use the names you use here if that’s okay….

I have a New Year’s Resolution for us all this year – and that resolution is: NO MORE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!

It just feels all wrong to me.

A “Resolution” seems like something I’d write down for myself to do – or TELL myself to do – that I just DON’T WANT to do.

Like never eating chocolate. Or walking a certain distance or exercising a certain way every day.

The moment my brain hears that “have to” attached to the “resolution” I can FEEL it grating in my mind.
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