Have The Relationship You WANT

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I went to dinner the other night with a family who’s raised 5 sons and daughters – all in college now. Since my daughter is that age now, I had a lot of questions to ask – mostly about relationships when you’re that young. I wanted to know how times have changed and get a little insight into what my daughter is dealing with out there. (I met her sons and daughter that night, and the sons were fantastic, and her daughter had a nice boyfriend.)

It seems to me that the men around my daughter now are so much more passive than what I remember – or at least that’s what my daughter and her friends say, but this woman, who’d seen WAY more than I, put me straight.

She said – “Girls don’t have to do ANYTHING! Girls are MAGNETS!”

And she was so confident, so sure about herself and her mothering and how her kids had turned out – and I realized she’d seen things not only from her daughter’s view, but from her sons’ – she’d seen their, and their friends’, and whole bunches of boys’ points of view.

So I took away that my Rori Raye methods work for ALL ages, and that boys and men are pretty much exactly as they always were. Men still want to feel like men and act like men in the most old-fashioned way. And girls – all girls, are magnets.

So how can I give you something to DO that’s about NOT doing ANYTHING?

Try this:

1. Picture yourself as a Magnet for men. See yourself that way from the outside.
2. Picture men running toward you from everywhere, pushing and shoving each other aside to get to you…
3. Now go INSIDE your picture and IMAGINE yourself DRAWING in men from everywhere – like a magnet you hold on the beach draws in thousands of little pieces of iron from the sand.
4. Now imagine that all you have to do is SMILE, and men will drop from the skies, fly at you from everywhere, and STICK to you like glue.
5. The next step is to simply EXPERIENCE how it FEELS to be a magnet (If you’re doing it full-out, it might feel uncomfortable and downright scary…)

I want you to do this small baby-step 24/7 – wherever you are, however you feel. KNOW that you already ARE a magnet -just because you’re a girl! (It doesn’t matter what age you think you are – you’re a girl, and you don’t have to do anything but BE what you already are!

Ever weep when you see a baby animal? Ever thought that would turn your man off, so you look away from him or get all embarrassed?

Well, that’s what we independent, smart, organized, successful, always busy with work, school or parenting women have been taught to do our whole lives – to be “tough.”

Some of us are lucky, and grew up in households where it was okay to cry – most of us were told to “pipe down.” We have the idea in our heads that it’s only MEN who were told growing up that “crying is s sign of weakness” – but we women were told that, too. We were told to not be “so emotional.” We were told not to “be a Drama Queen.” And so every time a real FEELING starts to come to the surface, we feel so vulnerable, and so embarrassed, we either stuff the feeling down or helplessly explode in dramatic scenes whenever we feel crummy.

So how does this affect your relationship with your man? If what we were told were right, we’d create more peace and harmony and good feelings by keeping our feelings under wraps – but it does just the opposite!

Not being able to open up to a man creates a WALL between you. It makes him unable to get to you – to your heart – and after a while he just gives up trying. There’s just no way a man can feel safe enough to open HIMSELF up to YOU if you can’t open up to him, and show him who you are – first.

Yes, a man might have a difficult moment or two around us when we cry, but within seconds, he’s usually RELIEVED. And, ultimately, it’s what both of you need.

So, next time you see a movie that makes you cry, or see a cute animal picture in an email, or think of some injustice in the world that makes you want to cry and then spit in fury – turn to your man.

Let the tears run down your face, and just be still and don’t apologize. This is what he wants to see – this is what he wants – a woman who can feel, so that HE can feel safe to feel in YOUR presence.

Next post will be “The Emotional Orgasm: How To Do it By Yourself or With Others” - showing you how to break through the embarrassment of being vulnerable by learning to cry by yourself - and feeling comfortable, relieved, stronger, and even more YOURSELF when you do…

Let me know how your tears affect your man…

Love,
Rori