Have The Relationship You Want

So glad to hear you’re trying this…and here’s an easy way to do Emo-Trance the way I teach my clients…

Let’s say you notice you’re feeling tense, sad, upset…anything.

1. Put your hand on the spot where you feel the tension and emotion most.

2. Imagine this:  The tension, the pain is stuck energy.  it’s just all balled up like a crazy, tangled ball of yarn, and it can’t move through your body.

It WANTS to get out of your body.  It wants to come undone and spread out and simply float out through your skin.  It’s just all balled up…

3. Let your hand be warm, let your hand be soft, let the energy from your hand soften the balled up energy, let it slowly soften it until it starts to glide undone.

4. Now imagine all these strands of the ball as light, bright, golden, sparkly, or white light – as energy – and imagine these strands want to get out of your body.

5.  Allow the strands to float through your body in the direction THEY want to go (do not guide them – let them guide themselves) – and imagine them flying or wafting or floating out of your body, wherever they want to leave from – your head, arms, stomach, heart, feet…

Feel them leave your body.

6. Breathe.

Imagine new energy coming into your body from the ground, from the center of the earth, coming up through your body, floating through your body, and leaving your body, without getting balled up…

Imagine movement of these strands of energy through your body, slowly, softly.  Nothing stuck.

Do this simply wherever you feel the stuckness.

This is only one of many energy kinds of work – EFT, Quantum Tracking…so many fun and lovely techniques…we can talk about them all…for now – when you feel stuck, just put your loving, warm hand on the stuck spot and let it help the stuck spot glide open.

Let me know how this works for you…

Love, Rori

Here’s a really interesting article – I know we’re into February already, but it’s sort of about how the seasons and Holidays affect us:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/22/AR2009012201045.html

It’s cold out.  I know you don’t want to drag yourself out of the house – but you MUST.

It’s February, we just survived Valentine’s day and got through January, which is officially “break-up” month, where more relationships end, after the Holidays, than at any other time of year.

It’s a big world.  Don’t stay stuck in your little glass box.  Climb out, look around, practice the Tools – step out of your comfort zone, try something new.  Get involved in life in a new way – volunteer, take up a new skill, go to school, look at new career paths, through yourself into your work for pleasure, not “have-to.”

Don’t hang around the same places looking for someone new.  Go to NEW places and look for someone who matches you.

Don’t give up on online dating – just try new sites, and if you haven’t started yet – experiment with it.

Life has to have adventure – and adventure is always something WE make happen.

I’m doing this with you now – not online dating – but finding new adventures in my life – every day.  Your juice comes from inside you – not from a man.

Let’s juice up.  Love, Rori

Even if you’re with a man for the wrong reasons – Even if the “energy” is off, and the connection is off, and your astrologer and numerologist and psychic tell you you’re not “aligned” – you can FEEL intense passion, love – everything you want to feel with nearly any man.

There are trade-offs no matter what – and here’s what I want for you:

Don’t go by the “thrill” you feel or don’t feel.  That can be an old, toxic, “off” pattern that will bring you to the same results you’ve always gotten.

Some of us are attracted to men who are “aligned” with us in mysterious ways (MatchMatrix – whose stuff I love and recommend in an interview I did with Frank Seifert) – where the communication and connection flows and it’s all so easy and fulfilling and energizing.

And some of us are attracted to men who are totally NOT aligned with us, where the communication and connection is challenging, and exhausting – but our attraction carries the relationship anyway.

And all of us attract men who are aligned or not aligned with us in important ways, but the result is the same – if we allow the man into our life, regardless of the level of attraction WE feel at first – we can still either be exhausted and drained by the man, or feel energized and good around him.

Also – and here’s the really unfair part – if you’ve had a history, like I did, of one wrong man after another – where the one thing that constantly happened was that he did not care enough for you to make the relationship work seriously – then it hardly even MATTERS if a man who DOES care for you is aligned with you or not.

You’ll instinctively push away any man who’s emotionally available and pine after a man who isn’t. In other words, your attraction to a man who will hurt you is stronger than any other consideration.

So – how can we get the best situation for ourselves with all these different things going on?

How can we trust our feelings when we can feel so much for a man who will hurt us, and feel so much for a man who’s not aligned in anyway with us? (MatchMatrix calls an attraction for men who are NOT like us, and so not aligned with us – “false attraction.”)

1. We look at our lives and our values and what’s important to us.

If we’re getting to 40, and we really want to have a child, then we’ll give more weight to a man who also wants to have a family – NOW – and who would be a good father and husband.  And we can become VERY attracted to that – because that’s what’s important to us right now.

2. We make the mental decision that there’s a huge difference between “settling” and “having a great relationship and a great life with a great man.”

In other words, if we’re always, and ONLY attracted to men who are emotionally and physically unavailable – men who will HURT us in the end – then we have to accept that CHOOSING a man who is AVAILABLE to us, who WANTS us – may FEEL like “settling” at first – but that it ISN’T settling.

If we’re lucky, and we’re attracted to men who are aligned with us, who we relate to easily – then we may feel the “friend” thing really, really strongly, and might take that to mean there won’t be any passion.

But that isn’t true.  For a woman, true passion is born out of connection, not attraction.

I’ll say that again: For a woman, true passion is born out of connection, not attraction.

So – take your time before you make judgments about what is or isn’t possible.

The only thing you need to know, from the first moment to the present moment, is if a man’s energy is coming TOWARD you.

You need to feel that.  You need to feel that as relaxation, as a sense of security in your body.  You need to be able to breathe around him. You need to feel safe enough to do the Tools, Speak your Truth, and be yourself – happy as yourself.

Try using that as the test for any man.  From here, you create connection, and from there – passion.

Let me know.

Love, Rori

I just received this letter from Averie, and it’s such a testimonial to Circular Dating, and gives you so much HOPE – let it help you keep the wonderful, amazing things you’re doing:

“Hi Rori,

Since our last contact, I’ve made some amazing discoveries about myself and dating. I can’t wait to share with you all the amazing things I’ve been through…I thought you might want to hear a little story….

Recently, I’ve gone on a new date with a new guy. The dinner was great, the food was awesome, and I couldn’t stop smiling because I was so proud of myself and so into myself and be able to just listen to him, then talk.

After dinner, I offered to pay half the meal, the guy looked at me with total surprise, and said, “I would never do that to you, that would make you look unworthy.”

That was the first time a guy ever said that to me. Talk about MESSAGES. maybe I was insecure for a moment that I didn’t feel like I was worthy for a fancy dinner?? At least that’s what I originally THOUGHT.

I did not figure this out until like two days later, it hit me that that wasn’t the main reason why I did that. I just didn’t want to OFFEND him. And that really is a big issue for me because my ex was a toxic man, and he would do stuff just to “hurt” me because I offended him, he would try to teach me “lessons.”

Since then, I’ve been so burnt down that I couldn’t speak my truth for a long time. I would always live on this edge that “if I offend someone, he wouldn’t like me, or he would want to hurt me back.” this is the real message for me, once I realized that, it feels like I could just relax and so much relief..!!!!

And after dinner, we went to see “He’s Just Not That Into You.” During the movie, I was moved to tears because of what the guy in the movie said about vulnerability. He didn’t see that as “psycho” or “drama.” He seemed to open up to me more…not in words, in actions….it was raining outside, he took off his jacket and put it over my head, grab me into his arms as we walked to the car.

It felt like I was connected to myself in the movie, so he got connected to me, I FELT MY DEPTH, so he FELT MY DEPTH. it was all like magic. we just got connected, in a much silent way.

Just want to give you updates along my little journey and tell you how much I appreciate your effort in your work. and also feel free to use whatever I write:) it is because of you that opens a brand new door for me to see a brand new world. so THANK YOU. Averie”

Averie’s amazing experience just comes through her words.  It feels light, and easy, and yet Averie is talking about big-time feelings, old patterns, traumas that come up for her…and how so MUCH came up and got processed and made a huge DIFFERENCE.

You can do it too…you’re doing it right now…

Love, Rori