Have The Relationship You Want

Justin/Fernando just left a great comment in which he said how men find “Warrior” women sexy. How men actually love being “called” on their “bs” because then they know that what a woman wants is who they really are and not who they might like to pretend to be.

So what exactly is a Warrior woman?

Does it mean that you are always on the warpath? Are you always looking for something to pounce on and correct? Are you out to change the world by changing every little thing you see around you? Are you out to improve everything you see — including your man?

Or are you a warrior for yourself?

And what would that look like?

Let’s say you’re with a man and in this very moment you feel totally torn and totally conflicted. Two sides of you are trying to gain control of your mind and your actions. Something is happening that does not feel good. It could be him asking you to do something or go somewhere that you just don’t feel like doing are going. Or it could be something he does — roll his eyes or dismiss you in words, or comment about another woman’s attractiveness right in front of you. Ick…

Part of you wants to smash him in the face. Wants to grab him by his jacket or his shirt and shake him and toss him until he behaves. Another part of you is terrified that if you even question for a moment what he’s done or asked for… you will be labeled as needy, complaining, insecure, a drama queen, and he will move away from you and maybe even leave you.

This is what I call walking on eggshells.

And you’d be surprised how many of us are caught in this loop. We either blurt out everything we want changed and stick to our guns and air our opinions and requests for change and then feel terrible and frightened and angrier afterward… or we sit on stuff, telling ourselves that we are poised, we are confident, we are together, we don’t have to get all upset about this “thing,” we have a sense of humor, we can talk about this reasonably.

And sometimes that voice is right! Sometimes what you’re all bent out of shape about is hardly worth even a moment of your brainpower.

Sometimes you’re just looking in the wrong place, hearing the wrong thing, focusing on the wrong part of what’s going on around you.

So what’s the Warrior in you to do? What exactly do you champion? How do you champion yourself here, when you don’t know which “yourself” to listen to?

So let’s go through some steps:

If you’re feeling unsettled, disturbed (I love that word and I love the state “disturbed” describes), and conflicted, just

1. Stop whatever you’re doing.

>> Stop
>> take a breath
>> go into the Rori Raye Dance Position
>> put your hand on an object and…
>> stomp on the floor.

You are caught between your emotions. And your emotions are caught between wanting to fight, wanting to flee, and wanting to freeze. And some of it is not under your control right now. Some of it is a reaction that’s coming from old patterns that are deeply ingrained in every cell of your body.

So…

2. Start picking through your emotions.

First, you have to

>> Feel each one.

Start with the one that comes up first. If it’s an urge to hit and strike out and “fight” — go into that feeling. Really experience it — in your arms, in your hands. Experience if you feel your hands clenching into a fist, if you feel like reaching out to push and hurt, to DO something destructive. Really let yourself get into that. If you have to leave the room for a minute to do it — do it. EXPLORE each feeling as it passes through you..

If the next feeling feels like fear, or guilt, feel that. You can tell what it is you’re feeling most easily by going straight to your body for clues.

Look at your hands. Do they feel like going out to push something? That would be anger and an urge to fight. Or do they feel like pulling something towards you? Does it feel like they want to protect you? Protect your heart, protect your breasts, protect your breath?

Do your hands and arms feel like they want to block something? Does the rest of your body feel like it’s moving backwards — like it wants to go away, wants to run?

Notice if your shoulders are all crunched up near your ears. Does that feel more to you like fear, or anger, or love, or shame, or guilt?

Let your shoulders go, let your arms go and see if you can find the feeling now in your belly. See if it’s jumping or if it feels hard.

Start getting familiar with what your feelings feel like. You’ll start to notice a pattern — a physical pattern — that will help you clue into what it is you’re feeling. And as you experiment with feeling these different feelings that have different physical components, you’ll start to get more COMFORTABLE feeling these feelings.

3. Now – put on your Warrior clothes.

Make it up. Are you an angel with wings? A Greek Goddess in gown, or pants and boots with bows and arrows, or a superwoman superhero with space-age weapons? How do you wish to aim — very subtly and accurately, or do you wish to have the power to blow away whole universes with the press of a button on your gear?

4. Now… and here is the hardest part… what are you fighting for? Who are you fighting for? And on behalf of which emotion that you felt are you fighting for?

The easiest way to do this is to –

>> Pick a Value that is dear to your heart. Pick the first one that comes to your mind (if you don’t already have a Values List sit down and make one now)

Let’s just pick one for now — how about Peace? Or Authenticity? How about Honor? You could honor your “little girl self” — you could honor your Vulnerability — you could simply honor your own ability to feel.

***Important note: you are not to use the word “defend.” This is not about protection or defense. This is not about being a warrior who “goes to war.” A warrior who writes wrongs. A warrior who sets the record straight. These images are all MASCULINE images. These are fine for many things in your life when you’re going “Out the Window” and want to be an action Warrior for the world. (We’re all really good at this, and I’ll talk about it more in another post…)

A WOMAN as Warrior simply says NO. Being a FEMININE Warrior is all about being about No.

5. Get a big perspective on the situation you’re in at this very moment. (There are more Tools for “Zooming Out” and “Flying Up” in my Toxic Men and Modern Siren programs…)

This could look like: There are people standing around in this room. My man, or that man who just came up to talk to me just said or did something and now I’m feeling uneasy and disturbed, and I have many wonderful emotions around all this.

6. Now… you’re going to follow the procedure for any Rori Raye “speech.” It goes basically — I feel, I don’t want. If you want to actually negotiate something, it can go — I feel, I don’t want, what do you think.

7. So let’s put it all together.

>> Imagine yourself in your warrior clothes, armed with your NO, standing up for a value like Vulnerability, seeing everything that’s around you and being present with it all.

>> Put together your first sentence of “I feel” with the feeling you’re feeling right now (that you’ve already felt and gotten comfortable with feeling) and speak it simply.

>> Now put together your NO in the form of “I don’t want….”

This could look like: I feel icky, I don’t like this.

8. If he doesn’t snap-to and ask you what’s going on, take the time to start from step one again. All the same feelings are going to start flooding in on you. The first few times you try this is going to feel just like the first time — and then you get so used to it that it will get easy, I know it will. Be sure to keep your warrior clothes on.

Being a warrior for yourself is not about attacking. It’s not about doing damage. It’s not about blowing people and things in the universe away with your power.

It’s about owning your power. It’s about owning your warrior clothes and your warrior heart and your warrior weapons and knowing you can use them, and trusting yourself to use them wisely.

Being a warrior for yourself is holding the line. It’s standing your ground. Its boundaries with a big capital B. It just means you won’t be pushed backwards from that line. It just means you won’t be pushed over. It just means you won’t lay down on the ground at his feet and do what ever it takes to keep him.

It doesn’t even mean fighting or attacking the other voices in your own head that are confusing you and disturbing you. It’s owning all the other voices no matter how nasty they sound. It’s about being a warrior of yourself that’s in CHARGE of all of these voices. It’s knowing that all of these voices and everything about you is ONE. That you are all-of-a-piece. That you are one whole person. That you have facets just like a magnificent crystal and that the crystal of you is whole.

So being a warrior for yourself has nothing to do with what emotion you’re feeling! It is not an action arising out of any particular emotion.

You don’t need to go to war! Being a warrior for love or a warrior for peace will help you know, deep down, that everything you do and say in service to yourself, following these steps, will make you feel more complete, more interesting, more multifaceted, more whole.  Stronger. I know that you are one gorgeous warrior woman. Rock on.

I’d love to see some drawings of what you as Warrior looks like — what you’re wearing and what you’re packing (these don’t have to be aggressive weapons — we can have fun and get creative here) — and I’ll try to figure out a way that you can post your pictures. For now though, would you describe yourself as Warrior to us?

Love, Rori

I love letters with what you and I might call “extreme” situations — where we all gasp and swear we’d never let that happen to us — but we KNOW, deep down, that it COULD happen to us, that we have, and may still be, tolerating things we don’t like and playing “small” when we are, in fact, HUGE goddesses — all of us.

Let’s see how we can use this to help you:

“Dear Rori,
.
I wanted to share with you the wall I’m up against.

Brief intro:

17 years of Bliss, 3 children, were very happy, we moved and all went pear shaped.

He broke up over email and its been texting and emailing and fighting for 3 years. He comes back, he leaves. He spends more time with us than away.

Recently he has said he loves me and ‘ maybe’ wants to come back. He wants total freedom to come and go as he pleases. Me to ask no questions, For starters we stay in separate houses, and take it slow, he can still flirt and go out with other woman, and if I get upset the that goes against me and him getting back together.

He doesn’t want a jealous wife. I am not to question his behavior or where he goes, if I have a complaint I should tell a girlfriend not him. that will go against me. Over the next few weeks, he will judge me and my behavior and attitude toward him as to whether he thinks he wants to come back to me and his kids…

So I will be on trial – and I will be judged on behavior, attitude. etc. There is no problem with physical attraction, for my age and 3 kids I look great…

He will be flirty and being smutty on facebook etc with other woman and if I complain that will go against me.

Here’s the great bit, If I use – I feel, I felt, I am feeling with him .. that will go against me. If I try to play him with all the junk he says he reads on these web sites. .. so he’s across all of this..

How do I deal with this. i am not good at playing games, and he’s onto all these methods…

What do I do ? No Bliss”

***Here’s my answer:

Basically, No Bliss – What are you DOING???? (This is going to be tough love – don’t read if you don’t want to hear it.)

If you think that by allowing yourself to “be on trial” and wait for him — you’ll get him back, you are dead wrong.

The only way you have a chance of getting this marriage back (and I can’t imagine why you’d WANT to now –there are all kinds of great men out there who’d want you 3 kids and all…) is to put your wedding ring on your right hand, and START DATING. Break up with him. Tell him this is a separation, and so that you will be dating also. Period. If you can’t do this, then, please, get some therapy to help your self-esteem –and get my Targeting Mr. Right program – it will help you date without all the weirdness attached…

AGREE with him. Tell him that you don’t want the marriage at this point while you’re both discovering what it is you really want (this is not a game – this is TRUE for YOU, if you’ll let yourself see this…).

Good luck! You can DO THIS!!!

***Okay, now let’s see how we can use this…

For most of this letter, it sounds like No Bliss is joking, doesn’t it? Like she sees the humor in his ridiculous demands and behavior, and is almost about to wipe her hands of him…but then…you know she’s not joking at all. No Bliss is really caught up in all this.

And it’s so easy for us to say “ewwww” – but after 17 years and 3 kids and “bliss” — any one of us would feel invested and, well, caught up.

And this brings me to the hard question: “What do you do when things change? Unexpectedly. Suddenly. Seemingly without warning. What do you do when your man goes berserk all of a sudden?”

And my answer is: Unless there’s instantaneous dementia from a physical accident or a drug reaction — there’s no such thing as “all of a sudden.” There’s no such thing as a surprise that’s this huge. No way.

This kind of thing has to be growing. Gathering steam. It could be underground, where you don’t want to look. It could be right in front of your face, where you still don’t want to look.

You could be feeling your reaction to it, and not know what that reaction’s about. This is where we women can get “tunnel vision” and just look at everything and everywhere except at the exact spot where everything’s going wrong.

So much is subconscious – where we can’t see it –so let’s say we go into a temporary state of being where we’re not aware of what’s going on around us.

So — let’s say that when we get “unaware,” it’s not our fault.  BUT — if we don’t choose to LEARN from that unaware experience — then we embark on the non-stop beating up of ourselves that I FORBID you to do!

So, along with everything else we’re going to do here, I want you to EMBRACE and LOVE even your passing unaware moments. Let’s just say that the unaware moments describe not seeing what’s right in front of us just because it’s hard to see.

Now…The man just up and walks, he runs around, he blames you, he puts you in a cage of behavior with one THREAT: He will get mad, and then he will walk even FURTHER away.

And this threat is the one that decks every single one of us.

Even if we don’t want a man anymore, the moment he threatens to GO – we want him back.

It’s like LOSING is worse than being unhappy.

Well – sometimes losing is “loosing” — just opening our iron grip and letting a man do whatever he wants to do.

Because I can tell you this — if a man doesn’t want to be with you –he’s nothing to you. Period. He’s a drain on your energy, your spirit, your heart, your health, and “loosing” a man like that is the only thing that will serve you.

(Also — it’s the only way to invite him to come and get you. (After he cleans up his act, of course –because who would want a dreadful man in the state that this one is in?)

Waiting around for a man who is acting like a single man, jerking you around and daring you to “start something” is hardly worth even a moment to “contemplate.”

The answer is NO.  No, I don’t care if you get mad. No, I don’t care what you think.  No, I no longer care what you do.

The only thing you have here to say YES to is shared parenthood.  That means you stay civil, you stay calm, you refrain from arguing.  You work only for the good of your children.

You consider yourself separated, tell him so, and go about building a new life for yourself.  Should he ever regain his senses and want to come back (and the fastest ticket to that is to forget about him and get a great new life), then you’l think about it.

This letter riled me up, and No Bliss, I hope I was able to give you a bit of a push to discover your own sense of being “done” with this man for now, except as the father of your children.

And while you’re creating this new, fabulous life (right NOW, please) – you will be working with my Tools to undo whatever your part is in this.  Even if the only thing you can put your finger on is “unawareness.”

You will be discovering how you got here, and how you can have something blissful again – even if it’s not with this same man.

Love, Rori

If there’s distance between you, there’s anger.

If you’re being “extra nice…” you’re angry.

If you’re giving more than you’re getting…you’re angry.

There are two parts to this puzzle:

1. Whether or not you can touch your anger and how you feel when you do, and…

2. What you do with what you feel.

Let’s say you can’t figure out why you’re “blue.”

Ask yourself…Where am I angry?

You may be surprised at the question.  You may say to yourself…I’m not angry, I’m sad.

Ask again.

Keep asking until you connect with your anger (I can guarantee you’re feeling it…just don’t try to ask yourself – ‘Why am I feeling it?’)…and then follow through with touching it, looking at it, embracing it, admiring its power, and owning it.

You can ask follow-up questions:

Who am I angry at?

What am I angry at?

How angry am I?

Once you’ve just got in touch with your anger…don’t hold it at arm’s length.  Get close to it.  Study it.  Play with it.  Put your arms around it.  Put your heart around it.  Say…Where have you been all my life?

Once you’re all touchy-feely with your rage, you’re going to notice some other feelings show up and try to muscle in on your new relationship.

You’ll notice guilt creep on over.  And then fear.

That’s because anger is such a powerful feeling  (let’s face it, in the grip of rage, we feel like we want to kill someone.  To push him off a cliff or smash him in two.  Own up to any such impulse.  Pretend you’re an actress and you have to find the power in your anger in order to get your much-deserved Academy Award for your “raw” and “authentic” presence in your own life…) — it’s SO powerful, we’re actually afraid we might DO something like that – kill him and wipe out half the planet doing it.

And you won’t.  I know you won’t.  You’re just too fabulous a woman to bother doing that.

So, now you have to accept, look at, embrace the guilt and the fear, too.

And, if you’re doing this right, you’ll also uncover grief.  It may be so intense you blank out and go numb for a moment…so when you touch it, even for a split-second – give yourself a “high-five.”

Okay…first step accomplished.

Now…what are you going to DO with all that emotion?

Are you going to cut loose and wail at a man?  Are you going to demand he change, now, or buddy,  you’re out the door?

Are you going to go the “spiritual route” and play nice?  Get all understanding and compassionate and neutral and try to have a reasonable discussion?

Or are you going to just stuff it down for another day and go about your business?

Here’s where the art of being you works so brilliantly…

1. If you’re by yourself and in your own home where you can feel all private and safe, that’s terrific. You can jump up and down, you can punch the air with your face, you can lay down on the floor and start breathing into all that anger and grief and guilt and everything else you feel until you get so bored you want to turn on the TV and watch something stupid — or even better one a get out and take a nice walk in the neighborhood and look at and kiss some beautiful trees.

You can pet yourself and hug yourself and make yourself some tea and allow yourself to giggle over all this intensity you’re feeling or allow yourself to cry over everything you’re feeling, and shake a bit –  and then you may feel like doing something like dance around the room…

2. But most likely you’re out in public. You’re sitting across from a man in a restaurant. You’re walking with him from the car. You’re stuck in the car with him. You’re in his house or your house and all of a sudden you feel the intensity of how deeply he is ignoring you, dismissing you, not interested in you, or just plain mean.

Well, you first have to do the first part of this which is to figure out a way, logistically, to feel what you’re feeling — especially your anger.

This usually means you have to get up and go to the ladies room. Or you have to turn around and walk back to the car or you have to stop talking and turn your face away from him while you’re walking. You have to sit at the table with your head in your hands blocking out everything and simply tuning in to what’s going on with you and asking yourself questions that you need to ask.

I prefer the bathroom, but I have learned to just sit there feeling my face turn red and my body want to fight or flee, with my face in my hand, in total silence, and process through these questions and my feelings amazingly quickly.

So I know that you can too.

3. Now, here comes the “action” part. What you DO if you’re out in public or he’s right in front of you in your kitchen.

I’m going to have to write a lot of posts about this because there are so many pieces to this, but let’s start here.

If the first part is about “processing” through your feelings, then the second part is how you express that to him.

And to make things simple here again to give you just two options:

1. You speak the truth in Feeling Messages — you sayI. (If you have not finished processing through the truth might be I feel confused, or I feel uncomfortable, or something else that expresses how you feel in a way that makes you feel like you’ve really expressed yourself  (without, of course, talking about him or making him wrong).

2. If you’ve done this more than a few times with a man, if you’ve had to express the same thing to him over and over (for instance, he’s asked you not to do something so that he can do it for you himself,  only he hasn’t taken the time to do it and you’re finding yourself waiting… or he’s dismissed your feelings and you’ve told him many times how bad you feel when that happens) — then you WALK AWAY.

Simple… you just turn around and go in the other direction.

You go find the ladies room in a public place, or you go home in a taxi or your own car, or you take yourself to a bedroom and close the door. You can say This feels bad and I don’t want to feel this, and then walk away, or you can say I don’t want to do this right now and walk away or you can just say I want to go home and walk away, or you can even just turn and walk into the kitchen and not say anything.

What ever you do — you have to feel this:

You have to feel as though you have HONORED your anger.

This doesn’t mean you have to feel like you hurt him, or a person at work or another circumstance who has hurt you. It doesn’t mean you have to do damage. It doesn’t mean you have to have revenge. It doesn’t mean you have to have some kind of physical or emotional effect on him. It does not mean you have to have a result of any kind.

Honoring your anger feels like you are WHOLE

It feels like you are in one piece. You don’t feel shattered, you don’t feel disconnected from yourself, you don’t feel conflicted — you don’t feel like your anger and your guilt and your grief are all pulling on each other from different directions.

You feel all of a piece. You are you. Whole. Complete. Beautiful. Angry.

Don’t look for a result of the feelings going away. That’s not the point. Feelings are powerful things and they keep moving around all the time. They move through your body.  The more they change, and the more you attend to them with the intention of honoring them and ALLOWING them to move anyway they choose, they will begin to morph into better feeling feelings.

And, as a bonus, when the anger gets felt and expressed — when YOU can do it FIRST — everything will open up in a relationship.  Love comes back from behind the barricades set up by the effort, on both your parts, to make the anger “behave.”

I love your anger. I love all of you. I love all of me. Let’s rock.

Love, Rori

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re finding yourself anywhere you don’t want to be…let’s talk about it.

Why do we cause ourselves so much pain?

There is a reason we’re attracted to and attract men who are not good for us — from simply “not into us” or “just not right for us,” all the way to abusive, mean, neglectful and disinterested.

The reason is in a pattern that got started long ago.

One day, at “crossroads” moment of our lives, we made an internal choice to “frame” what “reality” is. We made an internal choice about what “love” was — what it meant to us, what it looked like, what it was supposed to feel like. We made up “rights and wrongs” and “rules” around that choice, and learned to fit everything that came along for us into those rules. We created a belief in that “reality” we set up.

And all this was happening “underground.”

It wasn’t a “conscious” choice – we weren’t aware of it, and we fought against it and resisted it and suffered with it whenever it showed up. This underground belief became the foundation of our experience. It led us from one experience to another, where each one felt kind of the same, and had the same tinge of “pain” around it.

The way this all happened, the reason this underground, foundational belief became a pattern in our lives, is because at that moment when it all started, we truly WERE in a helpless situation. We were powerless.

We may have been very young, or overpowered physically by an accident or a person. It may have happened over and over again, or it may have been a one-time experience. And it created a full, complete picture for us of what life is and what LOVE is.

Because POWER is a huge theme here — the quality of our entire lives has a HUGE effect on the power we feel in relationships.

In other words, you may be struggling through horrible relationship after horrible relationship — and then, once you get your career together, and are doing work you love, and start loving yourself and feeling good about you — your dream man just shows up and it’s easy sailing from there.

For now, though, let’s just talk about love.

To many of us – Love is simply “pain.” Without discomfort and pain and misery, it doesn’t feel like Love. Without having to WORK hard at it — it doesn’t feel like love.

Because this is usually so far beneath our waking “consciousness” – because on a conscious level we would never KNOWINGLY choose a “bad” man for ourselves, we’d never knowingly make ourselves unhappy — we WRAP a man or an experience like this we’re involved in in a pretty package of some kind.

We make up excuses, we paint the whole thing in a way that LOOKS — if only to us — good. Or at least okay. Or, if necessary, we say it’s fate, or chemistry, or that we’re in an impossible situation beyond our powers to change.

At bottom, what we’re actually doing is USING a man – just going out and flat-out HIRING him – to HURT us. We don’t know we’re doing it, because we BELIEVE this is RIGHT for us. We believe this is all we can have, we EXPERIENCE it as love and almost ignore the pain.

Some of us ignore small things, some of us ignore major things. And it’s so easy to judge another woman who’s allowing major unhappiness, even though we are doing the same thing ourselves – just on a smaller level. And, in my experience — the WORSE things are for you, the FASTER and more amazingly you can experience a total turnaround in your life with just tiny, baby-steps.

That’s why you ALWAYS have HOPE!!!

The worst Overfunctioners (like I was) turn their relationships around the fastest when they stick to my 4 Rules.

Learning how to use Feeling Messages completely turns around the entire LIFE of a woman who is always in her brain, and pushing men away by trying to control them.

And stepping away from a painful MOMENT — even just one MOMENT — can change your life if, deep in your subconscious, you believe that love, to you, is supposed to feel like pain.

Here’s a comment on this blog from Sarah, who’s in an extreme, painful situation:

“Rori, I am in a terrible place right now. I am in love with a toxic man, and don’t know what to do about it. He has a fetish, and it rules his life. I do this for him all the time, but it is still not enough. I found out he is now meeting other women in secret to do his fetish and lying to me about it, saying he is working late. Now, he takes care of himself during this, so there is no sex going on, but the fact that he is meeting these women is killing me. He is just really selfish.

I do love him, but am incredibly betrayed and hurt, as he promised me he would never see anyone else. We are not married, but we do live together. We’ve been together 15 months. A lot of times we are together, he is nice and sweet, but then sometimes he is not. I don’t know how to tell him I know about this, because I found out by looking at his email. I am afraid to confront him, but I know it needs to be done, as I can’t live like this anymore; I am always jealous and paranoid. I want him to change and not do this anymore so we can be happy, but I don’t think its possible. I am afraid to leave. Thanks, Sarah”

Sarah, Welcome, and thank you for your heartfelt comment.

I wish I could be with you in person, take you by the shoulders, shake you, hug you, and help you get a sense of yourself. You are lost in a sea of toxicity – this one man is just the “agent” you “hired” to hit you over the head and inject you with poison.

It’s YOU poisoning yourself…and we have to work really hard here to get you some self-respect and self-love, and I know you are in the right place with all these fantastic women. (I’m always very tough with this at first…so you can SEE what’s going on, because your tolerance for punishment is so high, I have to really go heavy-handed here, so sorry, but it’s the only way I’ve experienced that works — “tough love.”)

You must dump this man, now, forever, and do not look back. Period.

Now, it’s easy for me, a friend, a family member, a counselor to tell you that…but I want you to listen here.

The fetish isn’t the problem. Everyone’s got something going on, it’s a matter of the basics of relationship – loyalty, attraction, feeling good.

You CANNOT be IN LOVE with a man who lies to you. You BELIEVE you are – but you’re wrong.

You’re ADDICTED to him. You are like a junkie — and not just for love, but for punishment.

I know you must have a seriously painful childhood behind you, with lying, abuse, distrust, pain…and THIS is what we must address. You are staying with this man to KEEP yourself from dealing with what’s really underneath, and as you peel back the layers of how you’ve been protecting yourself from inner pain by heaping MORE pain on yourself…things will get clearer.

Please read EVERYTHING on this blog, in my newsletters, and anywhere you can find about increasing your self-esteem. Start here with the Power & Self Esteem category. Self-love is your work right now.

This man is NOTHING.

He is NOTHING to you.

I’m telling you the truth…please consider what life would be like if you believed what I’ve written here.

What I want for you is HOPE – but a different kind…not hope for this relationship, this man, but for your LIFE.

You are in a position now in which you must stand tall and RESCUE your own life.

***Now – for all who are in much smaller versions of this pattern (and we ALL have this going on about all kinds of things – our work, our daily life, our health, our love lives – no matter how small…):

Take a moment to ask yourself  What if everything I believe about love is completely made up — and I made it up — and I can unmake what I made up and make up something new?

This whole blog, and all my work is about making up something new.  Something that feels good.

As we make new things up, and take baby steps AS IF those things we just made up were REAL — that’s when magic happens.

This post has a lot of themes, ideas, and Tools…I’ll put them in step-by-step form in the next posts…Love, Rori