Have The Relationship You Want

Here’s an amazing letter from Amelia, and a super difficult, scary and unpleasant situation.

This post’s about the way we choose to “see things,” and how we so often try to find someone or something to blame just to help us make SENSE of something senseless, and how we usually end up blaming ourselves – especially when we feel scared about pushing a man away by doing something “wrong.”

Amelia’s man is “Bob…”:

“Hi Rori, here in Peru, I wish I could say its been great but it hasn’t, I went out with this guy so I could do the circular dating and stop waiting on Bob . We had lunch and after we took a cab to go home and we were assaulted by 3 men it was absolutely terrifying…you have no idea all the things that went through my head about what they could do to us…they had us in the car for 2 hours until they were able to get money out of my friends bank account and then they left us in the middle of nowhere …

I prayed the whole time that god would keep us safe and thank goodness we made it back home I wonder if I felt so guilty about going out with  someone else and I was punished or what but I am really scared now …

I wish it had been an easier and better more rewarding experience to do something that was intended to be good for me and my self esteem…it wasn’t I will pray that my higher power helps me in some way and More…

Hi, This is Rori -

Men are pretty much exactly as they always were.

Men still want to feel like men and act like men in the most old-fashioned way.

And girls – all girls, are man magnets.

Girls don’t have to do ANYTHING because Girls are man MAGNETS!

YOU are a man magnet – and so…YOU don’t have to DO anything!

To get personalized help with “doing nothing” and yet getting the results in love you want – the way my private clients do – take a look at my “Love Forever” Teleclass Membership Program (there’s a video on the page that’s not on youtube..) –>>

http://www.coachrori.com/love-forever-program/

The next new teleclass in the Love Forever program is next Monday, June 4th at 5:30 PDT …

((Once you’re in the Love Forever Membership, you’ll have access to ALL the recordings forever (it’ll be a full 9 hours after the 4th…))

Until I see you at “Love Forever” – try this Tool:

I AM A MAGNET

(It’ll give you something to DO that’s about NOT doing ANYTHING!)

1. Picture yourself as a Magnet for men. See yourself that way from the outside.

2. Picture men running toward you from everywhere, pushing and shoving each other aside to get to you…

3. Now go INSIDE your picture and IMAGINE yourself DRAWING in men from everywhere – like a magnet you hold on the beach draws in thousands of little pieces of iron from the sand.

4. Now imagine that all you have to do is SMILE, and men will drop from the skies, fly at you from everywhere, and STICK to you like glue.

5. The next step is to simply EXPERIENCE how it FEELS to be a magnet (If you’re doing it full-out, it might feel uncomfortable and downright scary…)

***I want you to do this small baby-step 24/7 – wherever you are, however you feel.

KNOW that you already ARE a magnet -just because you’re a girl! (It doesn’t matter what age you think you are – you’re a girl, and you don’t have to do anything but BE what you already are!)

For more help and new Tools I use only with my clients – take a look at my “Love Forever” Membership Program (It’s a one-time membership payment that’s currently 7 1/2 hours of me teaching you directly on audio – and includes new 90 minute telelcasses with NO extra payments!):

http://www.coachrori.com/love-forever-program/

Love, Rori

Here’s an amazing comment from LoveAlways, and Daria made sure I saw it (thank you, Daria) so I could make sure everyone saw it and feels hopeful just reading it:

LoveAlways says:

Happy holiday weekend Sirens!

My weekly time to myself and to spam the blog with my feelings

SIREN METAMORPHOSIS

I had an epiphany today – I looked in the mirror and my body has changed. I looked deep inside and I’ve changed there too – my energy has shifted into something unexpected.

I was an emotional wreak when I bought a bunch of Rori’s products all within one month’s time – I was obsessive!

I was looking to get back together with CDex and learn how to have better relationships with men so he and I could get married. I wanted to hire Rori as a coach, but she suggested on her web site starting with her ebook, then her programs.

Instead of getting him back and on my way to married, after 7 months of continuously listening to the programs, taking notes in the workbooks and More…

Here’s a short letter from Eve to give you hope that baby steps WILL work for you:

“Hi Rori

I’m not sure but I think it is working I have your ebook and your siren series. I have been doing the same thing for years and years, not only with the men in my life, with everyone!

I’m a very emotional person and my negative emotions have always led me to shut off, put up walls, throw tantrums and be an out right bitch.

I also saw him drifting away so I clung on tighter. I would cling on so tight I’m sure i would have licked the dirt off his shoes just so he stayed.

We had a fight on Friday night. I read your beautiful informative insights on sat afternoon.

I used feeling messages (badly, I’m new at this) and he offered to make me a coffee on Tuesday at work

I was surprised!! I watched your siren video andIi loved it!

I made the mistake of going to his place the next Friday and saying “I want to be with you tonight”

I left feeling guilty and he texted saying he wanted to be by himself and couldn’t handle another Friday night like last week.

I accepted the NO!

I told him I felt OK with that and that I felt guitly about pressuing him and that I felt happy to be by myself. I left it a that.. he texted me at lunch time on sat saying “hey you how’s your day” I texted back ” today feels great… how was your day?” he sent a msg back that i did not respond to as i was too busy with my girlfriend and then another, starting it with Hey Gorgeous!!

I feel empowered and I thank you! I lost myself in him and now I have found me! baby steps… baby steps and LOTS of love for ME!

Thank you Rori Xx Eve”

To read about my Modern Siren program (and see some video clips of it) – just click on the photo–>>

Love, Rori

I just got this from Charu at www.EmbodyTantra.com (you may know her as one of my Monthly Interviews With Relationship Experts) – I love this woman and her work, and I was floored by this article. Charu graciously gave me permission to reprint it here for you:

by Charu

Recently I had a conversation with a beautiful client of mine. She is a very powerful, conscious woman who is devoted to her spiritual path and is now in a rich and powerful partnership with a man she loves. Everything in their relationship is rich and in alignment. Their visions, intentions, goals, work, priorities – only thing off is the sex.

It is really challenging both of them because they are so much in love.

Thing is, although this has never been a challenge for him before, he can’t get or maintain an erection when they are together. This is bringing up tension and anxiety for both of them and making it difficult for them to surrender more deeply into the love they feel for one another.

I had some great news for her; while this is a challenge and it can take an investment of time and energy to move through something like this, it is definitely possible to break through into new territory.

That ‘new territory’ does not mean that this man will simply have to ‘deal with his issue’ and then they will have great sex finally with his rock-hard erection. New territory means that this is a powerful opportunity. Perhaps BECAUSE they have such a genuine connection, perhaps BECAUSE they are both so intuitive and devoted to their spiritual path this challenge is inviting them to look at sides of themselves that the rest of their spiritual journey has not yet touched.

Important parts of themselves, parts that when they clear will not only open the gateway for them to have a great sex-life, but will also open the door for all of the work they have already done to come into full manifestation on this earth. When the lower chakras are not alive, open, accepted, included then there is a very real limitation of our potential for awakening. As we are HUMAN- beings our humanity is necessarily part of our process of awakening.

I guided her to do something very powerful. To bring her awareness back to HERSELF and take the attention away from the ‘problem that he has’.

How?

1. I encouraged her to experiment with soft penetration ~ this is where they would still have intercourse, only with his penis soft. Click here to read an article I wrote on this or check out the book: Tantric Orgasm for Women by Diana Richardson which talks about this in great detail.

This technique takes the pressure off immediately that says ‘he has to be hard’ and allows two lovers to connect intimately in a new world without goals, where they can allow the bodies to connect and re-sensitize to one another. Experiencing and enjoying all levels of tumescence is a great blessing that we do not honor at all in our culture. Great openings can happen even with a flaccid penis.

*IMPORTANT NOTE: In a circumstance like this when we enter into soft-penetration it can be difficult because our thoughts of ‘why isn’t he getting hard?’, ‘what is wrong with him?’, ‘isn’t he attracted to me?’, ‘why have I found the perfect man, but we can’t connect this way?’, ‘will I ever have great sex again’, ‘I just want to have mind-blowing lovemaking that matches the depth of our connection- am I with the right person after all?’

This is where step 2 comes in-

2. Both partners can practice this, but I will orient to the woman partner (since the conversation I had happened to be with my woman client); when you notice the thoughts running through your head about all that is ‘wrong’ with the situation/moment, bring yourself back to sensation. This is your teaching, this is your ‘Guru’- anxiety coming up in your body (or whatever emotion/feeling is there) is NORMAL and it is coming up to be cleared. If you were with the ‘perfect’ lover you would not have to sit with this and it is a clearing and awakening for the new depths you will experience together.

3. Rather than dwelling in the thoughts, notice where you feel this emotion in your body. For example; ‘I have an intense stomach cramp and my shoulders are tight, I feel like I am not breathing as deeply, the pain in my stomach feels like a black bubble’- if you feel comfortable voice this out loud to your partner (without the story about why you feel this way, that’s not what this moment is about).

4. Allow your partner to see you and hold you in this. In this moment he can be empowered to hold a strong space for you, rather than feeling dis-empowered that his body is not working the way he wants it to be (once again this exercise can be practiced by BOTH parties).

5. Give yourself over to whatever is the strongest feeling in your body, for example: the ‘black bubble’ in your stomach. Magnify the sensation rather than trying to make it better, feel it getting bigger and more intense in your body- this may feel counter-intuitive, but staying with it will support a powerful clearing.

As you stay with the intensity in your body you may feel vulnerable, frightened, you may cry or scream. This is all perfect. The body is going through the process it needs to in order to release parts of you that have ‘hardened’ and are not allowing energy to flow.

Because of these responses in the body it is a good idea to let you partner know that you are going to be trying this exercise before you begin the process and what might happen so they won’t be alarmed. Invite them to participate with you by feeling free to express what they are feeling in their body and let them know that this is not about making you ‘feel better’- it’s about a creative process of allowing the clearing to happen.

This process is a powerful first step and can be used in many different ways and for many different reasons within a partnership. Because this is the first step it is NOT about having an erection or trying to get an erection at all. It is about allowing yourselves to be truly ‘naked’ and supporting one another in this space of vulnerability.

Sharing this will not only begin to allow the bodies to re-sensitize and ultimately bring life and energy into areas where it is not yet flowing, but it also begins to create a space for you to discover your authentic sexuality. Relating to one another and connecting in an entirely new way, one that is far richer than what we have dared to imagine.

From Rori: Charu does these amazing evenings in Los Angeles, she coaches by phone, and you can watch her videos and get more of her free info on her blog at http://www.embodytantra.com–>>

Saw this lovely video today – thought you might like it (and perhaps even want to pass it on…):

http://www.flickspire.com/r/IAAW/PowerOfLove

I watched it a couple of times, and then again as I’m writing this – it made me feel relaxed and peaceful (I love wonderful quotes) and wanted to pass it around (and please feel free to send it around, too).

These are good people who’re friends of my Rori Raye work  -  and I’m a big fan of anything that feels good!

Love, Rori

My best friend and amazing coach Virginia Clark sent me this article about a TV series – makes your blood curl…:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/01/opinion/sunday/bruni-the-bleaker-sex.html?emc=eta1

At first, I felt horrible.  OMG, what am I teaching women?

And then I realized….

I know at least 5 GREAT men who are unattached.  And that’s just in my IMMEDIATE, SMALL circle – I probably know many more if I thought about it.

And – the truth is, I hardly know any women to fix them up with…

I fixed one guy up with 2 women – and he liked and dated them both….and they both didn’t choose him for some reason or other…

We’re the problem, not men.  I really believe that.

We choose wrong.

I truly believe that on some deep level, we hate ourselves so much and want to punish ourselves so much, that we choose men to hit us over More…

Here’s a comment from Tony – and I’m going to be “tough.”

First, Tony, thank you for showing up – having men on the site can be an amazing thing. Not only do you give us information that’s incredibly helpful – it also helps us see how much like us you are in some basic ways.

And this is one of them – and it’s the basis of the classic “play hard to get” game we all grew up with.

The thing is, Tony – you sound like a woman.

And I mean this to sound as tough as it does, because you’re not a woman – and what you need to do to capture this woman’s attention is the OPPOSITE of what we women need to do to capture a man’s attention.

Here’s Tony’s letter:

“Rori,  I am 25 and have been working with a women for the last couple of months and I have fallen for her more then anyone else in my life. She More…

Here’s a letter from Carol, who’s feeling horrible with her man – and my very “tough” answer:

Hi Rori,

I have a question. My man and I were out to dinner and he made the comment that one of his top 5 loves was women. I was hurt by this comment because it made me feel unimportant and like he wants to date many women. Than after I questioned him he tells me he meant it like he loves his mom and his sisters and than I was mad because he put me on the same level as his relatives.

Then he expresses how much he loves me in the middle of this loud venue and I felt like I couldn’t talk. So we get home and he says he doesn’t feel welcome so he leaves and goes home to his house. He always leaves and never wants to work it out. I feel abandoned and that he’s just not mature enough for me to spend the time with him.

I had looked through his emails and saw that he contacted a massage therapist in hopes of a happy ending when we weren’t talking. He also sent a pic of me to his friend of me in my lingerie. So I told him about it last night because I asked him about it and he lied and said that he had never More…

Here’s a classic situation: Abigail’s man is withdrawing, there are arguments, she’s feeling lost without him…

“Rori, I’m having a few personal issues and hoping to get some honest feedback and advice. I’m 27 years old and I have been going with a guy who I met 17 months ago. The relationship was like a fairy tale story – we lived in different countries and we met at work when I interviewed him.

For the first 14 months everything was brilliant we were so in love and everyone knew it and could see how happy we were! Then I started being insecure in the relationship not through any fault from him but I let my past hurt in other relationships take over this one.

Anyways he went to his home for 3 weeks to see his family and during that time we continued to argue – and when he came back he decided he needed some time and space on his own. Not only were we arguing but his granny as also been diagnosed with cancer and he really wants to More…