If you have my Toxic Men program, and my Monthly Interviews program – you know how much I adore Todd Creager – as a man, as a therapist, as a coach, as an innovative thinker and teacher about relationships. I just grabbed this off of his newest newsletter – go to his site and get your own for free!
by Todd Creager
Here’s a little clue to what YOU may need to develop in yourself to be a more fulfilling partner: What is the trait about your partner that is the most irritating?
In most cases, whatever that trait is- is the very trait you need to develop MORE OF IN YOURSELF!
If your partner is too “irresponsible,” you may be overly responsible and need to be more playful and silly and less of a “manager.”
Or, if you’re partner is too “anal,” it may mean that you need to pay more attention to your own clutter and clean some things up.
This clue seems to work with our children as well. The traits that bug us about our children may also point to areas of ourselves that need more developing and attention.
There is something I say often that is related to this idea. The thing that most attracted us to our partners at first later can drive us crazy. You may have liked that wild, crazy person you were dating; only now that you married him, you are tired of his irresponsibility. We are attracted to people often times because they are manifesting what is hidden or latent in ourselves.
Let’s end this with some good news that I have observed. When I have seen a partner take this “clue” seriously and begin to develop that “latent” aspect of him or herself, the other partner often changes as well and in a direction that is desirable. It’s as if there cannot be too much of one trait between the two of them so things start to balance out.
Try this and see what happens!
Here’s to getting the love you want,
Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT
Relationship Therapist, Speaker, Author
Schedule your 30 minute strategy session with Todd