I’m still jumping off Lisa’s comment that she can barely look a man in the eye, much less even consider “dating” one. To get her, and you – started – here’s some new baby-steps…and I’ll keep working this into the idea of a “Road Trip” to love.
Try this for now:
Baby Step 1- Make Friends.
This is a “beginners” way to ease into “Dating” – and it IS actually Circular Dating – since Circular Dating is all about interacting with a man – wherever you are – without trying to “label” it something, even not bothering to label it “flirting” or “eye contact.”
This is where you use all my Tools around CURIOSITY.
Get curious about people out there. Notice when you’re stuck in your own head, your own thoughts, your own fears – and see if you can get interested in what might be happening with other people. And as you get curious about “people” – you can gradually allow yourself to get more curious and interact with “men.”
Baby Step 2 – Open Your Eyes
I’ve actually never talked about this before – (think I’ll turn it into an eletter Tool).
See if you can notice when your eyes are looking inside your head. See if you can catch yourself looking down at the floor, or into your shopping cart, or at signs and newspapers and small things.
Although these small, wonderful objects will ground you…and I want you to use them…for this Tool, I want to see if you can catch yourself “narrowing down your vision.”
See if you can catch yourself making your eyes, your PERSPECTIVE, your attention – small.
Now – just Open Your Eyes! Just lift your head up and look straight around the room. Scan everything in the market, or the bookstore, or the dry cleaners, or wherever you are – everything you can see at your natural eye level, standing in the Rori Raye Dance Position. Take it all in.
This may feel scary for a minute – it’s sort of looking out at the entire vista when you’re at the top of a roller coaster, instead of looking “straight ahead” – but breathe, use my Tools to sink into yourself and soften up and open your heart, and see if you can just BE wherever you are, looking around.
Be sure to ground yourself into the floor so you don’t fall over…
Baby Step 3 – Smile
See if you can, while you’re feeling a bit woozy just standing there taking in what’s around you – as far to the ends of the room or the park, or wherever you are that you can see – Smile.
Smile to the space. Don’t worry about who’s in front of you, and if you feel silly – try to enjoy that feeling of silliness.
Now – even if all this only lasts a second or two – you’ve started moving forward! This is how it’s done. It will shift your perspective, your attitude and your “vibe” just enough to let you know that you have so many more possibilities out there and inside you than you’re believing in right now – and it will get you started believing in them.
AND – remember to LOVE YOURSELF while you’re doing all this!
Here’s to Open Eyes…