If you sometimes feel like your man has all the Power in your relationship, and you feel almost desperate to get your strong sense of yourself back, I learned something very valuable (the hard way) this weekend that I know will help you, too.
If you’re at all like me, you value being “nice,” being “liked,” and being “well thought of.”
So, if you’re like me – being a “Drama Queen” is just out of the question.
Well, that’s all nice and good, wanting to be “mature” and “well spoken” and “thoughtful,” but for most of us, all that “carefulness” and “political correctness” gets us to the same place – pushing our men away!
How can that be?
How can we push a man away by being “nice” and “mature”?
Well, as I’ve known since the moment I turned my marriage around years ago, and as I teach my clients and write and create programs about for you, valuing “nice” and “mature” over AUTHENTIC can just kill a man’s love for you.
And it’s not because there’s something so wrong with “nice.”.
It’s because sometimes our “nice” is just not REAL.
Because we value being liked more than being Authentic, we can stuff down our feelings.
I still struggle with this – and as aware as I am about it, it still always surprises me when I choose the “high road” – choose to let something that’s bothering me go rather than speaking up about it.
These are the moments when my inner Drama Queen can actually HELP!
So – what does YOUR inner Drama Queen look like?
Is she so not welcome inside you that you’d do almost anything to not let her out?
Are you so afraid she’ll turn you into a raging Drama Queen out there in the world that you push her down and try to keep her covered up?
Well, the one thing I know is that if you don’t love your inner Drama Queen, and instead resist her as much as you can – that’s when you actually DO turn INTO a Drama Queen.
It’s as though the fight to keep her from taking over makes her squeak by you so you end up acting like a Drama Queen anyway.
Only – instead of YOU GUIDING her, so that her words come out THROUGH YOU, in Feeling Messages instead of attacks, and so her feelings inspire a man to HELP you instead of run from you – she comes out without your consent and without your control.
Your inner Drama Queen just jumps out and splatters all over everything. It’s those moments when we do or say something we wish we hadn’t.
And then you remember the moment when you first felt angry or upset and didn’t say anything about it when it happened – and you KNOW that if you’d just spoken out – authentically and truthfully in that moment, you wouldn’t have turned into a Drama Queen just now.
So – love your inner Drama Queen.
Loving her and embracing her will make it possible for you to avoid ACTING like a drama queen.
Let her speak to you.
Let her say what’s on her mind.
Let her into your heart, feel her feelings and use YOUR WORDS to say what’s going on inside you.
You can do this.
Your Drama Queen on the inside can make you calmer and easier on the outside.
Your Drama Queen on the inside can help you stand up for yourself and be stronger.
So – talk to her.
Ask her what her name is.
Ask her if she’ll help you be stronger, more direct, authentic, and VULNERABLE.
Try this Tool and see if you feel a little lighter, a little more in step with yourself – I know that I did.
In my Toxic Men program, I have a whole section on getting to know and embracing your inner “Stranger” – this will help you so much to stop attracting and being attracted to toxic and difficult men. You can take a look at it (and all my programs) on the “Rori’s Catalog” page here…For now, just listen to your inner Drama Queen instead of shutting her up, and see what she has to offer you – and let me know how she helps you.