Comments on: Relationship Tool Of The Week – Paint Yourself In Love

By: Rori Raye

Rori Raye — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:38:57 +0000

JustOne – This doesn’t look exactly like one…but it IS a community and a forum…it’s just on my particular track…see how it works for you to be here…Love, Rori

By: JustOne

JustOne — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 19:09:33 +0000

Great post! I truly am getting heavily into this issue. Do you chance to know where I could find any connected forums? Thanks

By: Daria

Daria — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:26:40 +0000

Becca…

Right! =)

By: Becca

Becca — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:28:35 +0000

Thanks Alias Girl, that helps me. I will write them out before I communicate with him. I think maybe I have been too worried about what he will think when I do reply to his messages. Like worried that he will think that I have been ignoring him or don’t want to speak to him or something like that… when really I should not be worried about what he is thinking but how I feel, right?

By: alias girl

alias girl — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:21:32 +0000

becca what do you feel? busy? past tense as you mentioned. so i felt busy. is that what you want to communicate to him? i feel dot dot dot. maybe write out a whole bunch of i feels and then decide which one you truly want to communicate to him. ?

By: Becca

Becca — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:19:26 +0000

Is it ok to say to a guy in text message: “Sorry I missed your call the other day, I feel like I have been so busy lately”, and leave it at that? I had a missed call and text message the other day from my ex (and another text the next day too) and I did not get them straight away as I have been busy both times. When I did read them I felt it was too late at night to reply. I have not replied yet partly due to actually being very busy, and partly because I did not know what to say. Please offer your advice on this, I would appreciate it

Haha, I feel silly asking your opinion on such a little thing when really I should just follow my feelings, but I am feeling confused right now. I am tempted almost to not reply but do not want to be rude and part of me also does want to reply but is scared of the outcome… as it may be good or bad. I guess this is the ‘be surprised’ part of Rori’s mantra and I am not good at letting go of control yet.

By: alias girl

alias girl — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:07:02 +0000

reshi you are doing great. as rori says sometimes the waters muddy up again and then become clear again. its process. you cans practice tools and boundaries. maybe something like i feel really off balance. i don’t want people to raise their voice to me in anger. i feel committed to discovering new waays of relating to the people i care about. you are on the right track, reshi! keep ya head up!

By: Reshi

Reshi — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:28:34 +0000

Cassandra, thanks so much. When I’m in a major funk that I can’t seem to shake, like I seem to be today, it’s great to hear that I can at least help someone else. {{HUGS}}

By: Cassandra

Cassandra — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:17:32 +0000

Reshi….you are such a HUGE Role model for me! You are doing so great with everything and i am so deeply happy for you and so proud of you and so encouraged by you. You are amazing and I hope that one day soon I can get to where you are.
I send you a huge hug!
-Cassandra

By: Reshi

Reshi — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:26:13 +0000

I should have figured that something would happen to knock me off my pedestal. Last night and this morning I found it really painful to be with my husband–I felt like all the bad old issues were back and the seminar hadn’t even HAPPENED. There’s still so much anger in there that’s coming out and being directed at me. Part of the frustration is in a long-standing pattern that we have where he wants to talk about things before doing them, whereas I do things first and talk about them later. He was mad that I burned incense in our house to clear out whatever negative energy had been there–and when he’s mad and yells at me, I just get so scared and feel completely helpless and hopeless and traumatized. I can’t even think about painting myself…but I know that Rori said the anger is SUPPOSED to be coming out and that makes me feel a little better…but how long is that going to be going on?

So, Riffing.

I feel really crappy and sad and hopeless right now, I feel like I’ve trapped myself in a cage and I’m denying myself happiness. And I want to feel like I can have happiness, I want to feel happy RIGHT NOW. I want to feel free from fear RIGHT NOW. And that would feel like lightness in my body, lightness and freedom and love overflowing from my heart. I want to fly away to my meadow on an island where 100 beautiful men are there to serve me and give to me and I want to lean back and take that in and just revel in it. And thinking of that feels so good, my shoulders instantly dropped, and I love the newfound sense of relaxation, and my head is still caged in fear, and I love the fear and I love my head for trying to protect me, it’s so OK that I’m trying to protect me and that’s really sweet of me to not want to allow myself to come to harm. So I’m on my island with my 100 men, young and old, short and tall, all beautiful, all masculine, all showing off for me, and it feels scary, I am afraid that they will hurt me. And I’m so angry that for the first 22 years of my life no man ever did anything BUT hurt me. I feel so scared and angry, and I love my fear and anger…and I’m going to fly out to my desert where I can stomp around and throw things and break things and set things on fire and destroy things to my heart’s content. I’m so angry that I was hit and called stupid and ugly and fat and was powerless to do anything back, and the only thing I could do was withdraw my love. The only way I could fight back was to withdraw my love, to refuse to make my father happy. And I’m so angry that now I beat men verbally and emotionally until THEY have no choice but to withdraw their love and refuse to make me happy. I’m SO ANGRY at this never-ending cycle of anger and pain and I want to destroy it. I want to feel free from it. I want to live in a world where I love myself and welcome others to love me. And I felt it just for a moment–love and lust for myself–and here comes the fear to smack down the love…but HEY! I love the fear too, it’s welcome to hang out, and I’m in charge, I can hold it and welcome it and give it love and ask it for the strength and wisdom it carries. And I want to feel fundamentally OK within myself. I want to feel complete within myself and that would feel like I contain my energy, like it isn’t always flowing out of me towards HIM. I want to feel like a receiver, a magnet, energized by receiving. And it’s so hard, I feel afraid I won’t receive, afraid I’m not worthy to receive. And I love the fear and the feeling of unworthiness, it’s like a withdrawn little ball of blackness. And I look it in the eye and give it a big hug and ask it for the wisdom and strength that it has for me. It says, “I won’t open. Not safe.” And I want to feel safe. I want to feel swept up into the Divine embrace. Like I can lean back and just be within myself and someone will come and caress me. That feels impossible…and I love the impossibility…it will feel that much sweeter when my miracle comes through for me. And now I’m going to take this upstairs and get naked and paint myself.