Comments on: Switching Hats From Girl to Boy and Back Again

By: Flipper

Flipper — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:50:32 +0000

Just want to complete something I wrote above: ” ‘Logical’ thinking not based on genuine feeling leads to disaster, just as raw emotion disconnected from rational thought does” IF it is acted out. (Of course, Feeling the raw emotions without the interference of ‘rational thought’ is what we’re all about here.)

By: lita

lita — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 05:59:55 +0000

Rori,
I would LOVE to read a post from you on this topic! I’m sure many women are in this situation and it’s not easy to deal with, especially when you want to attract someone that you’re not already dating (i.e. what they see in the office is ALL they get to experience from you). The man I’m interested in, who flirts openly with me, said to me yesterday concerning a project we’re working on “please push me, I need you to push me, I’ve got too much on my plate right now, kick my butt if I’m slow”. I replied “I don’t feel comfortable pushing anybody” to which he responded “but I’m asking you to do this, we need to really push each other and get this thing off the ground”. He is the project manager, after all. What am I supposed to do?

By: Jennifer F

Jennifer F — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 22:34:14 +0000

Rori,

I am excited for that post on how to switch hats from work and personal. I have asked the question before How do I “Lean Back” when it’s my job to “Lean Forward”? You had told me to do my job the best way it makes me feel good and to the best of my abilities, and then on personal time to be the “girl”. I recently had to take my “man” aside and correct him on a issue at work… I had to be soo masculine and it felt yucky having to “correct” him. I felt like it switched the whole flow of energy between us. I did my best to ask him “How he felt we could better this situation?” or “Did he have ideas to improve this particular issue?” I tried to approach it as a “we” thing instead of a “him” thing… but maybe that was overfunctioning by making it a “us” thing instead of a “he needs to fix this issue.” Any thoughts?

By: Rori Raye

Rori Raye — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:10:07 +0000

Hi, Lita, GREAT question…I’ll write a post about this. Basically – it’s classic switching hats. “By day…you run the company…by night….you wear pink and sit on the couch eating bon bons and petting the cat and purring…” Only, you have to do that kind of switching all day long. YOU know when it’s about work and when it’s about personal. See if you can tell. Do your job supurbly, and when it’s not job-time….be a girl. Just try it out. It’s actually FUN!!! Love, Rori

By: alias girl

alias girl — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:07:05 +0000

yae kat!!! i feel enthusiastic too! i feel happy you are finding your girl hat to switch to when you want to.

By: Rori Raye

Rori Raye — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:03:38 +0000

Kat, Welcome, and you sound fabulous, Thank you so much for letting us know how much better you feel and what helps you. Love, Rori

By: alias girl

alias girl — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:27:41 +0000

yae nikkita. i feel so happy you turned it around! you go goddess!

i feel happy you decided to get on the plane too! an adventure!!!

By: Nikita

Nikita — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:53:35 +0000

Alias girl,

thank you, that felt good.

I tapped on some anger and stuff, I wanted to have good vibes for all the other passengers…..I realized this is the anger I felt with my mom. She NEVER kept her promises to me. I feel a connection with that to men….my mom is very masculine even in a skirt and heels.

So, after tapping I felt better and this guy on the plane gave me his number:) he even wrote a little note..I haven’t read it….I feel so shy but maybe …..hehe ….and all these other guys are complimenting my smile…..I love it here!

By: Nikita

Nikita — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:42:53 +0000

I landed feel better

By: T.R.

T.R. — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:15:52 +0000

This is such an interesting post. It is something that I often struggle with, and truthfully in the past have felt as though by not “doing”, I was giving up my independence. Over the weekend I went out with my boyfriend and some friends. He decided to go home and I continued hanging out with my friends. He expressed concern for me, which I ignored. This turned into a 3 hour phone discussion that I ended by stating that I felt controlled (very masculine). He stated the next day that he does not want to control me ever, he wants to make sure I am safe. I then quickly switched hats to listening to his explanation of wanting to protect me from harm, and I literally sank into his arms while he said this. And it felt great! I was able to take off my masculine hat and let him take care of me. When I came to work this morning, my co-worker told me that I was “absolutely glowing”. I hope I can continue with doing this because it seems to really work!