Have The Relationship You Want

This is a post I found on EpicSelf.com by Amber Zuckswert (she’s very cool), and got permission to re-publish:

Toro sashimi dangled from my chopsticks as I sat gingerly on a bar stool gearing up for my much anticipated viewing of Avatar. Since it’s Christmas debut the futuristic Fern Gully has grossed close to $700 million dollars. In Australia there was a 3 month delay in movie releases so I had no idea this flick even existed. After hearing one spectacular review after another I knew I needed to see it in all it’s mind bending glory and spend the $20 bucks on the 3D iMax version. And though my butt lost all feeling at the 2 1/2 hour mark, flying through the rainforest on the back of a technicolor dragon bird pretty much made my week.

While the special effects and imagination behind the film are awe inspiring enough, More…

This comment felt so universal, I wanted to jump off into a post:

“Hi, Rori,

Well, I’ve about given up on dating websites; I’ve only had a few people contact me, on any website, in the last few weeks. It’s very discouraging, especially since most of them are younger men, and I’m not interested. Also, the guy from Arkansas wasn’t on that website for about a week, and then he came back. I’m just not going on them at all, unless someone contacts me.

I saw a guy I kind of liked (he was watching me, I was watching him, or so it seemed), in a meetup movie group I belong to, last night, but it turns out More…

In this age of internet and long-distance dating – this letter from Vickie struck me as powerful:

“Hello Rori,
Your dating advice has been AWESOME–so awesome that I’ve met someone who has all of the qualities I look for in a man. And the wonderful thing is that I’ve used your Circular Dating technique to help myself from falling head-over-heals and falling into the “instant relationship” mode, which was my past behavior. He is actually doing the pursuing, and I’m just sitting back and letting him! I’m amazed at how relaxed and carefree I’ve been in our “getting-to-know-each other” phase of the relationship. Now, however, I need your advice.

I’ve been chatting with him online now for about a month. He lives about 1000 miles away, and we will be meeting face-to-face for the first time More…

Here are some words of wisdom from Jake, the Bachelor:

To Corrie, who he obviously liked but couldn’t get close to….”I’ll pursue you, open up for me....”

To Gia, after he didn’t give her a rose and walked her to the waiting limo. He said their relationship had a lot of “stops and starts,” and Gia said that she was slow to “open up” – and here’s what he said to her that knocked me out, hearing it straight from a man:  “...That next guy…set your bar SO high, because you’re an amazing girl…Make him work for you…“

Jake is no brilliant philosopher – he’s just a regular sort of man – but sometimes he seems pretty deep because he’s such a straight-shooter.  He almost seems unable to not tell the truth.

I thought these two bits were powerful enough for a whole post…

Make him work for you.

Love, Rori