We talked about how she could share her feelings, and tell him the TRUTH – so they could deepen their relationship, and she could start feeling stronger inside…and here’s what happened (you can hear how insecure Bethany feels, just like we all do when we’re afraid of doing ANYTHING…and it’s great to hear the process put into words):
“Rori, Tonight, after leaning back all day and almost ignoring Carl, he asked me to go listen to a band downtown tonight. I said yes, and we had fun!
Then when he dropped me off at my place, I said “I felt weird when I got that text from you the other day about that girl…”
And then he asked why and I said “Because she’s pretty”…and that “I didn’t know what he meant,” and then he said that he felt like “…maybe he shouldn’t have sent the text because he didn’t want to sound like he was conceited”…and he said “No! I don’t think she’s pretty.”
So I felt pretty silly…but he didn’t freak out or anything, and I said “I don’t want to make a big deal, so thanks for listening…” and he said “Yeah, tell me anytime how you feel.”
…I feel pretty shaky right now, like maybe I shouldn’t have said that, and that I ruined the mood?
But at least it’s out there, right? And maybe it’s good so that the next time something might trigger my jealousy, the open path of communication has been laid. He didn’t seem like he wanted to run away, I just feel embarrassed for looking weak. But maybe I look strong, do you think?
Even if he’s taken aback, I didn’t attack him and I didn’t tell him he had to do anything or not do anything, so hopefully it will be okay?”
Here was my answer to her:
“Bethany, This was totally brilliant! Can you see? – read your letter as if it were someone else – can you see how you used feeling messages and he responded so well?
Can you see how leaning back all day and forgetting about him brought him close? I know it sounds mystical – but that’s exactly the way it works.
I believe a man can feel your energy even from far away. So you work on yourself, and he follows.
He LIKED the way you spoke to him, and he invited you to talk to him about this stuff – you just got closer!
Now – don’t take the backwards step of “maybe I shouldn’t have said that, and that I ruined the mood?” or “But maybe I look strong, do you think? “ – can you see how you’re doubting yourself, analyzing – getting into your head?
When this happens – use all my Tools that come to you to get OUT of your head, and back into your feelings and most of all – your BODY.
Please pat yourself on the back and give yourself the biggest hug for coming this far so fast! Love, Rori”
Here’s how Bethany’s process can help you: I’m all about the truth – and all about helping YOU tell the truth, no matter how scary it feels.
The first time you try it – let it be about Little things – things that don’t make you feel terrified, but give you a little buzz of excitement in your tummy just thinking about SAYING anything about them – even the weather qualifies sometimes – if we’ve been sitting on our feelings for a long, long time.
Try it, and let me know how it unfolds for you.