Have The Relationship You Want

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I was driving along, my new Dave Matthews CD playing, when this incredible song started playing. I played it over and over and over – it’s the most romantic song I’ve ever heard, and my heart just swelled.

The whole day I was in that space of romance – and I was putting my space in that yearning space, where there was a mysterious male at the root of the song, he made me feel the way I felt…and as this old tape was playing…I stopped myself.

Instead of this vague mystery man who’s supposed to be more amazing and fulfilling and gut-level deep romantic than my husband, who is real and with me – I thought about my husband.

I put him in the picture of the space of this song.

I let my heart open up around him.

It was totally amazing.

All of a sudden, I could sense my resistance to this. I could sense I was fighting the image, the feeling of my husband as my Prince Charming – More…

I got this letter from Allana Pratt yesterday and loved it so much, I wanted you to see it.

OK. I’m dating this new man. I was feeling very crunchy, pissed off by his lack of being impeccably present, grounded or thinking positively. Grrrrr….

I was going through my normal reasoning of why this one won’t work either. I was NOT doing my feminine practices, not feeling my feelings, not telling the truth with kindness and honesty… I was pushing him away and being a bitch, CONVINCED it was him.

Then, bless him, he suggested we go for a vigorous hike to get the juices flowing, energy moving. I could feel the anger in me welling up, all prickly from the inside out, wanting to SCREAM!

We got back to my place and began to talk. I could feel under the anger was a huge welling up of tears and I took a breath and decided to show him my fears. I told him to please only say More…

I love it when we tap into our “boundaries.”  Where we draw a line in the sand and stick to it.  It feels good, it feels powerful, and it’s terrifically attractive to a man.

Only thing is…can your line in the sand be …”wrong”?  No – I say it can’t be wrong – but it can either serve you or not serve you.

And the only reason I ask this – is because this is what we do to ourselves day in and day out – we second-guess ourselves.  We beat ourselves up if we had a moment’s doubt about something we did, thought or said – and then things don’t work out.  We want order and control – when the truth is – chaos is where the fun is.

Here’s a comment from Erika, who’s voice I miss here – not just because she knows her stuff around a lot of things that’s helpful, but because she’s distinctive.  She makes her mind up.  Then she backs herself up.  Then, if things don’t work out, or if she feels bad, she’s willing to change course without making herself either the victim or the perpetrator.  She doesn’t beat herself up, because that’s the one thing Erika’s work is all about – you love yourself unconditionally, and then everything else rights itself.

This…however…is a very controversial comment because of the “line in the sand” Erika draws…and I’m going to weigh in on it here: More…

Here’s a comment from Robin that had me chuckling, because I remember how, in my actress days – I used to fall for this all the time. Only, reading this just now, I realize I wasn’t “falling for” anything….

Some of the time it was the “casting couch” thing…but MOST of the time it was a guy trying to get to me through his best offering!

I don’t know which this guy is…but I’m all for giving him a chance…:

“So appropriate, THANK YOU for this wonderful post, Rori!

I had a very interesting experience today with Circular Dating. I was introduced to a guy at my church today, he’s a photographer, we started talking, he asked me to lunch, I said sure.

He started going over prices with me for a portfolio, which was fine, asked if I wanted to set up a time to do the shots, but I said no. He asked if I wanted to do a couple of test shots, which I said ok to, but it was at that point that I started to feel weird… More…