This is a guest post from Kathryn Tull (I put it together from 2 of her blog posts). If you’re getting my Interview With Relationship Experts Series, you’ve just heard Kathryn, and know what a powerful help she and her work is. I wanted you to know she has a free teleclass coming up called “Safe and Sane” – which will help you catch the Red Flags of a man, get past your instincts to be attracted to an abuser, or a man who simply is not going to be dedicated to making you happy. You can get her free newsletters, her free “Stress Tips,” watch her videos, and sign up for the teleclass at her website – NextBoldStep.com:
I hope many of you were tuned in to 20/20 on ABC to watch and listen to Rihanna finally speak out honestly about her event of intimate partner violence from world famous Chris Brown.
I experienced several intense emotions as I watched her interview with Diane Sawyer.
I was sickened, as I always am, when I hear the details of what happens to our sisters of all ages at the hands of abusive partners, details so familiar to me from my own past.
I was thrilled for a celebrity of her world magnitude to tell the ugly truth with a world audience in attendance.
I was angry and frustrated that without her celebrity status, she would be unheard, “just another victim,” like the rest of us who have also been victims, but whose experiences have not deemed newsworthy. Her trauma would go unnoticed, unattended by public compassion and awareness, still isolated in her trauma, pain and shame.
Please watch this online if you did not see it last night. If you have been – or are currently – a victim of abuse, you may find it comforting and encouraging that someone who can get into the world headlines has spoken out at this level. If you are not a victim, you will hear truthful information about what abuse looks like, and how it can seem to sneak up out of nowhere.
We all deserve to be safe and sane in our relationships!
I’ve had to seriously rebuild my life over the past few years.
People say to me all the time, ” Wow! Look at all you’ve accomplished!”
I don’t see it as you might, because you are looking from the outside. I know how steep the climb has been, and still is at times. The road can seem long. Sometimes, the next step feels like the biggest challenge yet.
Each day I commit to see an opportunity to move forward. Yesterday was great, and I want today to be, also. What I have learned is that it is up to me.
The truth is, that not every day for every person is great. Right now I am hearing people saying things like, “these are unsettling times, the world is going crazy.” “Things are out of control.”
Even if you are not saying it out loud, you may find yourself thinking things like this privately.
I want to let you know one thing for sure: you are not alone. Many people are experiencing mounting anxiety, or frustration, or other troubling feelings.
When it feels like things aren’t going well in one area of your life, it affects other areas of your life. You may try to compartmentalize, but things leak. Thoughts and feelings seep over in some pretty sneaky ways.You may not see the correlation, but that’s the way it works in us humans.
The Good news is: you don’t need magic to fix this. You need you. YOU are your most important tool for a better mood and brighter possibility. Your job, your business, your relationship can feel like a dark cloud, when thoughts and feelings work against you instead of for you.
It’s time for things to get better. Try this as a quick free fix: listen to one of your favorite upbeat songs. More than one is even better. So basic, right? It is, and it works. The beat of the music will get your heart rate up, which will release neurochemicals into your system. These will immediately support your better frame of mind. I find that I always smile when I hear one of my favorite songs; this immediately shifts your mood! I usually end up moving around to it, too, even if I am in the car and I am tapping in rhythm on the steering wheel.
Try it, and see how it works for you. Write to me directly and tell me what’s on your mind. I want to speak to what is important to you. You can find me at http://www.nextboldstep.com. Join me there, and I’ll send you more tips on instant stress busters.
Have a great week. Let me hear from you!
To your forward motion,
Kathryn
From Rori – be sure to let me know if actual physical and verbal abuse is your issue…almost all of us tend to automatically steer ourselves NOT toward what’s good and happy for us, but toward what will HURT us. Most of the time it’s in small ways. We’re looking to somehow balance out our good times with our guilt, and the nasty voices in our heads with our dreams. Kathryn takes all this a step further, and it’s very very helpful to see ourselves in the most extreme versions of where we’re leading ourselves. It really helps us see what’s actually going on for ourselves, and can move us much faster along. I want to see you walking purposefully down your Bridge to your Happy Ever After! Love, Rori