Here’s a letter from Kat, who’s struggling with an old love, and new weight – and feels that unearthing their connection will help her.
I have different thoughts and ideas about all of this – and I see a light at the end of the tunnel just up ahead!:
I am writing because I finally decided I need some outside help and I have read your letters for the last 3 years, getting a lot out of them. I wish your programs were around in 1986…. which is when this all started.
I fell in love with a professor in my junior year in college. We had a long time relationship even when we quit dating and I got married to another man.
The last time I spoke to “the professor” was 2004. Since then I have fought with obesity (never even thought about being heavy for 30+years).
I have been trying to figure out just why I have turned to food and believe that this stretched out, passionate, fully connected then not, relationship and the feelings I still have about it and my anger at my past decisions when dealing with him have me questioning how I can get closure so that I can finally deal well with the leftover emotions…
This is the only issue in my life that has haunted me which makes me think that it is the root cause of the eating disorder (gluttony) I now have. What do you think? Suggestions on how to get this man OUT of my life and my emotions back on track to get healthy? Kat”
Kat – For me (and I’m not an expert, or a doctor, though I’ve been working with doctors at the vanguard of auto-immune disease for many years now) – weight can be worked with in many ways. Eating disorders can be worked with in many ways. (I’m going to talk here just about weight you feel is more than you want to carry on your body, and we can talk about eating disorders like bulimia and self-starvation and body perception disorders and self-inflicted pain like “cutting” in another post where I can get an actual expert to talk with me about it…)
For me, starting with trying to tie anxiety and our personal cure for anxiety (eating for you) to something in our past is, to me, a waste of time.
To me, it’s old-fashioned psychotherapy – and in the time you’re taking to think about it and search for the “instigating” moment – you could be handling the situation quickly NOW – and at the SAME TIME healing the past – with more modern techniques.
New methods of healing emotional wounds and how they’re manifesting in the present are the way to go.And here are my total random thoughts on this subject – let me know if there’s anything here you haven’t thought of or done yet:
- I love Andrea Albright. She does “Spiritual Weight Loss” and talks about how food works and how chemicals in food wreck you and put weight on you…just good information. Get her newsletters. Follow her instructions about WHAT foods to stuff yourself with!
- Marianne Williamson just wrote a book about “spiritual weight loss.” More…