Twilight and Transparency
We’ve talked about Bella as heroine and hero and surrendered girl - and now I want to go into another HUGE part of the book and movie - and that’s the openness and transparency of the relationship.
One of the qualities that makes this such a yummy fantasy is that our hero, Edward, continually asks Bella to tell him what she’s thinking. What she’s feeling. Everything about her. Even the smallest detail.
He’s a man, a being, a hero who, among his many gifts, can hear people’s thoughts - everyone’s thoughts but Bella’s.
Yes, the woman he adores, he can’t read her mind. So - he has to ask.
Not only is Bella being appreciated in detail, she can ask HIM anything she wants. The moment she feels insecure about her worthiness and why he loves her, he answers.
He tells her over and over. He describes the way he feels. In detail. He is every woman’s ultimate dream man in this regard. He listens. He cares. He wants to KNOW.
From the very beginning, there are no games here. Their relationship dives into intimacy from the first moment, where they tell each other EVERYTHING.
And we know, because the story in the book is told from Bella’s viewpoint, that she doesn’t WANT to tell him everything. She feels compelled to, forced to - unable NOT to - because of his magical hold on her emotions. Because of the clear depth of the connection they share. Because of his relentless insistence.
So - what happens to us women in real life?
WE tell EVERYTHING - in a bid to get a man to be like Edward, to want to open up to us, to love us.
Only, the everything we TELL isn’t the everything that creates intimacy.
We tell a man about the relationship, about what we did, what we think…and we’re afraid, from the first moment, that he doesn’t want to know any of this. And so we chatter on about our lives, but leave out the one part that will drop us suddenly into intimacy - emotions.
We share everything but who we are.
Bella is forced by Edward’s curiosity to tell him her deepest thoughts and fears.
So -assuming that most men out there will not be magical - but may be curious if intrigued - what shall we do to inspire a man to WANT to KNOW about us? And, in return, to share himself with us?
This is the role of the Feeling Message in the work we’re doing here. And Speaking Truth.
So…
1. When you feel compelled to talk about facts, to deliver “descriptions” and “report” - stop yourself.
2. Ask yourself “How do I FEEL about these things I’m about to talk about. How did I FEEL when I experienced this or that…”
3. Do the Rori Raye Dance Position, breathe, relax your shoulders, get grounded in your pelvis, imagine yourself going down to the core of the earth, feeling strong inside, melting on the outside - and start speaking: “I feel…
4. See if you can let the words come out, no matter how embarrassed you feel talking this way in front of whoever you’re talking with.
Just practice this all day long, as if the greatest romance in the universe is everywhere around you - in the air, in the trees, in every human and every inanimate object - and that YOU are the source of that romance just by feeling your very own feelings instead of hearing just what’s in your head.
Love, Rori
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