Archive for the 'Love Life' Category

Why Are Relationships So “Hard” These Days?

rollercoasterThe Question:

So many people are having so much difficulty finding and maintaining relationships. Why is it so hard these days? How can you say it doesn’t take work?

My Answer:

A relationship is a team.

Seems obvious, but really – it’s often the first place a relationship breaks down. Being in a relationship means giving up some of the freedom of a single life.

You don’t get to be romantic with anyone else but your partner, you don’t get to not think about More…

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FREE Teleclass Monday The 31st With Leigha Baker!

leighabakerLeigha Baker – a great Rori Raye Certified Coach (and you know her, too, from her sweetness and smart advice here on the blog) – will be doing a FREE teleclass on Monday, March 31st…Here’s the info – – and take advantage!

(Oh – and remember to sign up for her free “3 Secrets To Get Your Man Back” report so you can get some help and Tools in advance – it’s terrific…):

From Leigha Baker:

Here’s Your Invitation To Join Me On Monday March 31st at 6 PM PST – For A FREE One Hour “Bring Him Back” Teleclass!

“Learn How You Can Quickly Turn Your Relationship Around And Compel Him To Come Closer Than Ever.”

What if…you could stop a man - your man - from pulling away?

What if…you could easily and quickly draw your man so close he would want to be with you on More…

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If You Can’t Sleep In The Same Bed…

upsetinbedThe Question:

“I sleep very badly with my boyfriend and feel awful in the morning. Being alone for several years, I’m a light sleeper.

I suggested we sleep in separate beds but this nearly broke up the relationship, so I tried, but I’m hopeless on three hours sleep and wake in the night at every movement and noise from him.

Now I want to tell him I have to sleep alone in order to feel good and sexy in the morning. What is the problem mine or his? Genie”

My Answer:

Genie – The problem is yours.


In my world, it cuts way back on the possibilities of emotional intimacy over time if you can’t More…

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Free Love On Purpose Revolution

love adviceSo many of my friends are speaking on this fabulous “Love On Purpose Revolution” – and it’s all free!

Orna and Matthew Walters put this project together (you already know how much I respect and love their work, and just adore them as people  – kind, good, smart – truly great coaches), and I’m blown away by what they’ve accomplished in just a few short years.

They’ve figured out a way to bring together the best folks in the relationship “niche” to give you great, free interviews and talks, so you can get More…

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What If I Trusted Me?

sedona 077 200I’ve really noticed that the word Trust is so “loaded.”

To say: “I trust myself.”

That feels really hard sometimes.

Sometimes I don’t trust myself to drive. I don’t trust myself know where I am

So I’m putting some new words to that and here are my new words:

I feel unsafe.

I feel unsafe with myself.

I feel unsafe here in this place.

I feel unsafe with this man right at this moment.

So… What does safety have to do with it and how can I start to feel safe? More…

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We Need A New Name For This:

Have Book 224A “Healthy” Relationship. A Non-Co-Dependent Relationship. A Non-Toxic Relationship…

Let’s come up with some NEW names for “what we want” that are inspiring!

Here are some I thought up – please add yours, and I’ll start writing about them…:

  • Interdependent Relationship
  • Evolving Relationship
  • Enlightened Relationship
  • Unbound Relationship
  • Untied Relationship
  • Moving Relationship
  • Journey Relationship
  • Heart-Centered Relationship(over-used…)
  • Open-Hearted Relationship
  • Two-Handed Relationship
  • Flowing Relationship
  • Transformational Relationship (overused…)
  • Expanding Relationship
  • Team Relationship
  • Awake Relationship
  • Conscious Relationship (WAY overused…)
  • Intentional Relationship
  • Expanded Relationship
  • Expansive Relationship
  • Pit-Crew Relationship (kinda like this…)
  • Inspired Relationship
  • Creative Relationship
  • Evolutional Relationship
  • Quality Relationship
  • Sack Race Relationship
  • Inventive Relationship
  • Empowered Relationship
  • Empowering Relationship
  • Evolutionary Relationship

Love, Rori

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A Valentine For You

locked heartHere’s my favorite Valentine’s Day post, and let’s do it together – I’ll love me and you love you, and we’ll not have expectations or ideas about the MEANING of this “occasion.” No man enters into this. It’s just between me and me and you and you, and let’s see how that works!

Okay – Valentine’s Day can thrill us or torture us. We can pretend we don’t care, or we can go into a funk, or we can enjoy what we have if we’re in a relationship or have a good date, or we can make Valentine’s Day a day of love for US.

We can make it a spa day or a manicure day, or a lunch with ourselves day, or a lunch or movie with our girlfriend’s day, or a sit home with a book, or a sit in a park day…and the amazing thing is — it’s really not all that big a deal anymore.

The Symbolism Of The Whole Thing Is About Expectations

What do you expect, that Valentine’s Day can make you feel fulfilled or make you feel like you’ve lost something?

If this is about “forever after” for you and you’re not there – well, the expectations put you in a state of “lack.”

If this is about “right now” – the expectations put you in a state of “action” – “let’s get this thing happening!” comes into your vibe, along with anxiety for having to make it happen.

If this is about “someday” – the expectations put you in a state of “wish” or “dream” – and that can feel good or plain neutral, unless you start comparing the dream to “reality” and fall back to “lack.”

So – what would I like to suggest?

How About We Go Smack For “What Is”?

That means – whatever you’ve got going today – don’t make a decision about if it’s good or bad, and don’t judge it in advance.

If you’re feeling wistful or dreadful, or anxious, or upset, or lonely, or angry about such a stupid holiday, or anything that doesn’t feel good to you, send a Valentine to it.

If you’re feeling upbeat and hopeful, and beautiful (you are beautiful, yes you are…), and happy with the day outside your window, and good with what you want and can do for yourself to have good feelings today – that’s your Valentine, and send it to ALL of you – head to toe – sort of as beauty oil to all parts of you for the next moment and the next.

Let’s make Valentine’s Day about loving how you feel – no matter WHAT that is.

You can actually GIVE YOURSELF a Valentine – buy it, or make it out of paper and markers and whatever you’ve got if arts-and-crafts please you. And when you do it…make sure you love what IS about where you’re at..and just ladle that love on.

I’m going to give a bunch of Valentine’s to me today…here’s one to my Nasty Voice: “I know that even though the sun is shining so beautifully and I feel so lucky with everything in my life, there are little rough patches inside me now that feel scratchy and I can feel you, Nasty Voice, jumping on those and trying to worry me and speed me up…and…well…that’s okay. Happy Valentines, Love, Rori.”

Or…”I see me in the mirror, and, yeah, we look a bit tired, yeah…I can feel how disappointing that is inside, it’s kind of sitting on you, chest…oh…I’m going off now into ignoring this wrinkle…well…I’ll just slather on some love, here, and let’s go put some oil on you…and…Happy Valentine’s…we’re all still here…I love you, as ever…Rori.”

So – I’m sort of writing Valentines from Rori to Rori…

If you like this…go ahead and write some Valentines from you to you, and put them out here for us all to revel in and copy…

And Here’s My Valentine For You…

No matter where you are, no matter what you’re doing, no matter what’s happening, or who out there looks like he loves you and who looks like he doesn’t – it’s all a matter of opinion.

My opinion is that you’re gorgeous, lovely, sexy, universally-accepted-beyond-words lovable and desirable, and my opinion is that wherever you love you, so does everyone and everything else, and even where you do not love you, and hold the opinion that no one else could possibly love this piece in you if you don’t, well, actually…everyone and everything else does love you.

All you have to do to make it real for you is to see it and receive it.

We pitch love, you catch it.

It might not look like the expectations you’ve been advertised, but it’s love all the same. It’s a message of love.

Don’t try to decode it.

If you don’t like what it looks like, just slather on the love all over yourself, and catch the next thought, feeling, insight, bit of fluff that’s full of love and just might look and feel better.

Inside YOU – it’s always moving around, always surprising.

The way we get stuck in a gear of “lack” or “anxious” is to lean on the same messages over and over and over that give us the same feelings over and over and over.

Strike out new today. Send a Valentine to what isn’t perfect. To what doesn’t even feel good inside you.

Send a message to yourself that you’re up for an upgrade, one word of love from you to you at a time.

The important thing is to take in love – wherever you catch it – from words, from the air, from your own heart, from objects and animals, from trees, from the spa technician, from the water at the pool and water in your drinking glass.

Love, Rori

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How To Find Love, Re-Create Love, And Keep Love Forever – Tonight

intimacy There are so many books out there that talk about what to “say” and what to “do” – to “play hard to get,” “have boundaries,” “don’t let him get away with stuff”…and the IDEA of STANDING UP TO A MAN is great -

- But if you “play” at anything – if you PRETEND to feel a way you DON’T actually FEEL – you’re being untruthful to yourself, and then your self-esteem drops down to the bottom and then everything goes downhill with it.

Telling a man how “wrong” he is – even if he’s done something thoughtless and hurtful – is USELESS.

***And that’s what we’ll be focusing on in tonight’s new, live and interactive Love Forever teleclass (tonight, Monday, February 10th, 5:30 PDT, 8:30 EST) – about how “resisting pain brings MORE pain, and how accepting and loving everything you feel brings more LOVE – along with answering your specific questions, addressing your personal situation, Scripting “What to say to him…” and helping you change the dynamics of your love life and relationships. To find out more about Love Forever, go here:

It’s useless to try to “correct” a man’s behavior because: More…

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Love Forever Is Just “Moments” Strung Together

intimacyCircular Dating is the “laboratory section” of “Love 101.” It’s practicing “in the field.” It’s Research and Development.

If you can look at Circular Dating as gathering data instead of as trying to make something happen – you’ll move much faster, feel much better – and actually have fun!

Circular Dating is a mindset, a complete sort of “reframing” of the whole idea of “dating,” an attitude, with a very nuts-and-bolts way of working your life in public.

Here are some ways to think about how to USE men More…

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Simple Fixes For Simple Inconveniences

031- 250I met a friend, Diana at a party on New Year’s day – and we had an amazing “aha” moment.

Like me, Diana has curly hair. REALLY curly hair, and like me, it’s been a focal point of her life.

Until curly hair came into fashion – I spend so much time wrapping my hair around my head, rolling it in soup cans, wearing hats in humid weather, using straightening combs and basically paying way too much attention to my hair. So much attention and concern that my whole self was always tense.

Now – there are SO many ways to “fix” whatever issue you think you have with your hair. Diana More…

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