Have The Relationship You Want

Just a little lift for you here -  I’m responding to Shannon’s heartfelt comments:

Happy doesn’t necessarily look…smooth.

We will never not be triggered.

So what?

We may always bounce around – up to down, angry to guilty, powerful to fearful….and, again – so what?

If we can learn to look for the peace and happiness in each moment as it comes – deal with the hard and challenging stuff by taking action for ourselves and sometimes doing nothing at all – then we don’t have to know the “why” of anything.

Yeah, sometimes we feel like we’re picking ourselves up off the floor.

Yeah, sometimes it all feels too good to be true and we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Our work here, and anyone’s words here that resonate with any one of us just because “they do,”  is all about taking all the “import” out of this…sort of knocking out the foundations of what our unhappiness is built on, and leaving a cleaner slate for happiness to naturally just BE.

What if our natural state is happiness, and all we have to do is not invest ourselves in unhappiness – no matter what shows up?

I know for myself that I’ll be on that train marked Peace and Love for the rest of my life…inch by inch, cloud and sky and rain and heat and chill and stop by stop – no matter the bumps in the road.

See you in the dining car.

Love, Rori

You know how I love Evan Marc Katz – I also know how challenging he is – he’s so “in-your-face” – and that’s what I LOVE about him.  He’s just a man.  A regular man.  With all the issues men come with – and he’s just so forthright about it all, he doesn’t hold back, he tells his truth – and you may think his truth is NOT the truth of most men – but it IS, it really is.

It’s sort of getting to hear what a man – nearly ANY man is feeling and thinking behind whatever they’re acting like they’re feeling and thinking.

Here’s a piece of an article he wrote that’s just so true, and so Evan’s style:

You Don’t Attract the Wrong Men. You ACCEPT The Wrong Men

What happens when you find yourself incredibly attracted to a man? Well, there’s the feeling of chemistry and everything that comes along with it – the obsessive highs that come with wanting to be with him, the joy of feeling incredibly connected, and, what you may forget, the willful blindness that allows you to overlook More…

Here’s a question from Renee (#70 in the comment queue) that brings up one of the most common and most destructive things when we’re hoping a relationship will get off the ground and soar:

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post on this site. I just ordered Commitment Blueprint and am feeling very excited while I wait for its arrival.

I do have a question, though, that I’d love to get your input on…

There’s this guy I’ve been seeing for a little while long distance. We met on eHarmony and emailed, txted and then talked on the phone for a total of about 2.5 months before we met in person. At that point, we had been txting everyday for several weeks and talking on the phone 3-4 times a week.

Anyway, we live about 6 hours apart and for the first meeting, he drove to my city to meet me. We initially had just planned on having a Friday night date (he More…

If you’re with a man and you’re not feeling great at the moment — if you’re feeling a bit insecure, a bit anxious, a bit tense, unsure of yourself — you are being TRIGGERED.

Now, the only thing left to discover is the why about your being triggered, so you can use my Tools to get yourself to a better-feeling place.

So here are the two possibilities:

1. He doesn’t like you as much as he is REQUIRED to like you in order for you to spend any time with him at all. Period.

So, let’s say you’re feeling insecure, anxious, tense — if he doesn’t like you the way he’s supposed to like you, what that will kick in More…