I had a weird experience today.

My husband is away on meetings, i have not called him and have not called since starting the rori programme. He called me tonight so upset, why i dont care?why i dont care? there is a massive problem with us or me? i was so stumped….. i said i did not want to make you feel upset, i feel confussed by you thinking i dont care, i tried to draw him away from the fact that i had not called. He is so shocked that i am not calling and i can’t tell him why.

In a marriage is this a trigger for him to express himself/find me, he was really upset and quite angry. Do i tell him i love him, would a siren or goddess feel this need, on some level i felt like laughing and on another i felt bad for him. I would always ring to see how meetings went or where he was on the motorway, last couple of weeks i have not called him apart from once or twice (kids arrangements or problems at home with electrics etc) i have not called for a chat or ask when he will be home. He has responded by calling me, finding me, chasing me BUT he is getting pissed and nervous.

Rori is this time for the real heart to heart, if so i dont want to be all mushy……. after the affair and years of emotional detachment and loads of drama and shouting and stress, neither of us need more drama. I am a little scared that if we talk again as he keeps asking me questions that he will get fed up with i feel so lost sad mad etc so i am saying i feel so happy even though i still feel other emotions but i have become an expert at hiding them from him. I dont know i get the programme and its working he is coming to me, sex is more connected, i found my goddess, laid some boundaries, told what i dont want, i get the siren stuff, i used to be a bit of siren before i really had no cares about what others felt about me or how i behaved and i could be a magnet BUT i would stuff it up when man got close by being insecure about myself. So now i believe i am gorgous but feeling happy and free and is hard and that now feels more important than the beauty, i always would have chosen to be beautiful over cool !!!!!!!!!

Anyhow i am nervous about ignoring his queries and yet not saying how i feel without being authentic……

i think i need to do a speach… can i tell him how i feel love for him, i feel safe and special with him can i tell him all this? how great he has made me feel and so on as well as the bits about feeling unconnected to him and open and free which is what i really feel i want for us.

A little guidance needed

thanks

kate

I would also love to hear what Rori has to say about this book-I stopped reading it, and I haven’t finished it, I will need to finish it sometime soon..

I’ve been investigating lately. I’ve noticed things I’m practicing and how men react. I’ve thought about all the different things I’ve read and came up with some conclusions of my own.

My top 5 list of what I feel men notice about women:

1. How much a woman is enjoying her life in the moment. How comfortable she is with herself.
2. How much you’re enjoying yourself in his presence. Are you happy around/with him?
3. There’s a emotional connection.
4. There’s a physical attraction.
5. How he feels in a women’s presence. Does it feel good to be around a particular women?

i guess it’s talking in a kind of lean back voice, while asking him to picture being in a relaxing place, and get him to really feel like he’s there by asking him what stuff looks, feels like, smells like etc.

Something I thought was interesting from the book was the idea that it is very important for men to have like a mission and accomplishments… (I read something about the mission from another dating guy’s stuff too)…

And so if you meet him at a party for example… you want to ask him about his successes… and then have him think of future successes… for example what do you do… oh you’re a doctor… oh that feels interesting… what do you consider would be a success in your field… oh saving someone’s life oh thats cool… well … suppose you got really good at that and you saved someone’s life… waht would be successful after… oh to develop a new way to help even more people… that’s awesome… yeah that would feel amazing… so now lets say you did that… you would feel really successful… wow that would feel amazing and Powerful (key word)… what would really be something that would make you feel successful at that point?

oh that feels so INTERESTING… i feel absoluetly inspired… hey im gonna grab a drink with my girlfriend… see you! (and you leave at a high point)

So in this way you are guiding HIM to imagine more and more stuff that HE WANTS for himself that maybe without your questions he would be unable or afraid to actually clarify and imagine. IN fact maybe he hadn’t even thought of it before… so he really sees u as amazing because now he has found stuff about himself..! And you triggered it… and then you leave (very important) and so he’s triggered to want more of you…

I also liked how he talks about telling stories using sexuallly suggestive words in a non-sexual context… and i guess he does kinda say to describe things very detailed (like how they feel, smell, taste, etc)…

Ex: Oh I would love a vacation at the beach… last time at the beach it felt sooo good to lay on my back (sexual imagery) in the sun… and feel the waves of the ocean pounding and pounding (sexual imagery) on the shore… I felt so hot (s. i.) and the water got my feet wet (s. i) and i felt amazing….

so when you get in the habit of this the man will feel hypnotized and mesmerized and aroused basically entranced but without realizing why…

Rori please read and comment what do you think?