Backing Away Is Meaningless – It’s Your VIBE That Counts

Here’s a letter I wrote to my client June. She was looking for the exact “words” to text to welcome a man who’s being very confusing, very hot and cold, very non-commital, and very short on time for her – home from a business trip:

The hardest part of loving a man – or anyone- unconditionally, is accepting the fact that he’s making his own decisions. He’s either feeling it or he isn’t.

The power you have (and it’s considerable) – is in influencing the way he thinks and feels about you through the safety and thrills your presence in his life provides him.

A woman’s best (and often only) chance in ramping up attraction with a man (and that’s what this is all about) is feeling more secure and comfortable inside herself, less like she has to “do” anything to “get” him, without damping down her enthusiasm for life and for him.

So – if you’re “acting” enthusiastic, but really feeling needy and desperate inside – that won’t work.

Texts, by themselves – may be wonderful, and written in the best Feeling language – but, essentially it’s not ABOUT that.

It’s about “Where you’re COMING from.”

THAT’S what a man picks up on.

Yes!!!! See – sometimes it has nothing to do with us. (Most of the time.)

And if we make it about US – we do damage.

He can smell fear, he can smell it when a woman puts him at the center of her life – he can feel the pressure.

Backing away in itself is meaningless.

It’s whether or not it helps YOUR energy and “vibe” to do so.

When you’re overcome by need, or feeling compelled to DO anything – it’s always best to back off, settle into yourself, feel what your feeling, own it, and wait to “do” anything until you can communicate authentically and show up as free of tension and agenda as you can.

Often – actually saying straight out that you feel shaky and weird and insecure is the BEST thing you can do in a tense moment.

If saying those things out loud sends a man away then “so be it….” It’s better to find out early if a man can “DO” relationship and partnership.

And just SAYING how you feel is always a tremendous act of confidence.

You’re very new to all of this. See if you can let all these concepts, ideas and tools flow around inside yourself so you can begin to trust your instincts and intuition, and not ACT from defensiveness and discomfort and fear.

I hope this makes some sense – I know it sounds a bit poetical…

And the answer is to LOVE your terror. Love the fear. Love the ugly.

Can you see what a difference this would make?

LOVE your mistakes…stop telling yourself yu suck at anything, and when you DO tell yourself that – love the part that’s telling it to you!

It’s all about integrating your system harmoniously. Building it all around self-love no matter what. Then everything shows up better. Love your insecurity. Love it all. That way, no one can shake you up when it happens….

I have utter, total faith in you….just keep watching me do the Tools on the programs, listen to them, do them 24/7 – just let them do the work for you in getting out of your brain.

These things work on a subconscious level, on an emotional level.

What you can do with your intellect around “shifting your vibe” is pretty minimal.

But if you just practice this constant slowing down, being aware, tracking, shifting your thoughts…it’ll just all fall into place for you.

Love, Rori

written by Rori Raye • Permalink •

1,147 Comments to “Backing Away Is Meaningless – It’s Your VIBE That Counts”

1: Femininewoman says:

My vibe my vibe

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:48am
2: Femininewoman says:

The hardest part of loving a man – or anyone- unconditionally, is accepting the fact that he’s making his own decisions. He’s either feeling it or he isn’t.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:52am
3: Femininewoman says:

“without damping down her enthusiasm for life and for him”

This is where I have my challenge. I have to pay such close attention to not slamming the door on my boundary and shutting down emotionally. Many times it feels safer to so because my comfort zone is playing the tough girl persona. I am choosing the pause now more and more and the walk away.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:55am
4: turquoise says:

#3 fw, I’m challenged with that also. It’s my pattern to walk away (permenantly) and close down emotionally, and shut off my feelings… which makes it all ok. It makes it my choice, my decision. (in my mind) It also makes me lonely and grumbly feeling. I’m pausing too. Thinking things through, feeling my feelings, but not acting on them immediately. It does feel better. I haven’t had any oh shoot I blew that, feelings in a long time.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:05am
5: turquoise says:

“Backing away in itself, is meaningless.”

My vibe, you know what… I’m not beating myself up about yesterday with Mr. C. My vibe was open and vulnerable and honest and emotional, and I stayed calm for most of it. I didn’t raise my voice or walk out and slam the door. I felt my feelings, did my best to express them and be authentic to myself, what felt good and what didn’t.

It’s not easy to talk about that kind of stuff. I only want space and distance because I hope it will make me like him less. To leave room for someone else to appear and for me to like them. But the truth is, it’s not easy for feelings to go away.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:17am
6: Iamabutterfly says:

wow. I feel like this post was written for me. I feel hopeful and calm again. I feel curious, but not in a desperate “I-don’t-understand” kind of way. I feel curious about myself and what I’m capable of.

I feel as though I’m going to be okay no matter what happens.

oh, and Jack CD?

Every single one. I think I just need to calm down and relax. Take care of myself. That always feels great!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:21am
7: Iamabutterfly says:

hmm…my link didn’t work.

http://www.ivillage.com/top-10-signs-hes-you/4-b-382722#last

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:21am
8: Tereana says:

Yay, I’m in the beginning of the thread! lol

I “should” – wait, switch that – *could* be getting ready for work right now. But I need a minute to write. It helps center me. Better to start my day centered!

Many thoughts have been floating through my head….all my CDs have been silent the last two days. But probably they are working as well. (Ok, vman replied to a funny text yesterday, but that was it).

I had this thought before I went to sleep last night, as I was journaling to myself, and I wrote it down: “Where is the rest of me?”

The question came up, because I feel, inside me, as if there is some big piece of me missing. And I know I have felt this way for a loooooong, long time. In fact, I’m not entirely sure if I know of a time when I *didn’t* feel this way.

I’m sure it began in puberty, when you begin to feel “self-conscious.” Because the only time I can remember not feeling incomplete, or “missing” somehow is when I was younger than 10 years old.

So I don’t know what that means. I know that looking for love is not the same as looking for the lost parts of yourself. The problem is that anyone who falls in love with me now (as with my fiance in the past, and others), is falling in love with an incomplete picture. They may like what they see. They might even love it. But it’s not the whole deal. And the reason that *I* can’t go through with it, is that I know that not all of me is there, present in the moment.

So I look around in the present moment. And I see me there. I feel me there. But I’m wondering – Where’s the rest of me?…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:30am
9: Tam says:

Hm, when I read this I feel that I made a mistake by sending the email to him yesterday….but I love my mistakes also, and that is what I felt like doing in the moment and I did not let him have it, I told him how I felt.
It probably had a needy and blamey vibe, but what’s done is done and in a way, nothing matters anymore.
It was an experiment because I don’t want what he has to offer right now, so if I didn’t send the perfect email then who cares?
I don’t anymore.
Ok, better now that I have come clear on this!
Happy that I shared my feelings without lashing out.
I made it all about me.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:30am
10: Tereana says:

“The answer is to LOVE your terror. Love the fear. Love the ugly.”

That’s it. I think Rori gave me my answer…

:`

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:35am
11: Tam says:

flooded with text messages from CD’s…and I don’t feel like writing back to everybody and speaking to them right now. I just feel like working or sleeping.
One texted at 1am last night. What’s that all about?
I hate all this manic texting, BigCD has already sent tons and then he sends follow ups too..WTF

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:38am
12: Tam says:

Much like ‘I guess my texts to you didn’t get through, so I will ask you again now’….I feel like saying ‘all your 10 texts in an hour got through, but I don’t feel like answering them all’.
I get such a needy vibe from that guy, it shows me how they must feel when a woman does this.
It feels yuck.
The clock has not struck 11am and I already had 10 texts, many with questions that can’t be answered in a text message. I feel irritated

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:43am
13: Femininewoman says:

, it’s Jonathon. I hope you are feeling great and
enjoying these tips!

*********************************************************
Understand Men Tip #51

Men find a woman who takes care of herself sexy.

He likes the look of your nice manicure on his skin.
He likes your hair to look a little messy and sexy.
He likes a little makeup but not overdone.
He likes that you take care of your body and exercise.
He likes that you’ll put on heels and a dress for him.
He likes that you recognize your femininity!

Johnathan Aslay

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:12am
14: Sangelina says:

The hardest part of loving a man – or anyone- unconditionally, is accepting the fact that he’s making his own decisions. He’s either feeling it or he isn’t.

I love this! Hard to accept but I have to.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:16am
15: Tam says:

now he has tried to call me, I am sorry this is crazy. I am turning my mobile off. I believe he thinks he is in an imaginary relationship with me.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:20am
16: Femininewoman says:

Here Are Some Warning Signs That He’s Not In It For The Long Haul, And Will Never Marry You:

1. Your dates fall into a rigid pattern of dinner and going to bed.

There’s little deviation from this routine or little if any interaction with other people.

You start to feel you’re expected to go to bed with him every time you’re together, as though buying you dinner gives him the right to go home with you.

2. You want to see him, so you let it be on his terms.

When he calls for a date, it’s always at the last minute.

He expects you to be available to see him whenever he wants.

He has plenty of excuses why he can’t plan ahead and you only get together when it’s convenient for him.

He won’t commit ahead to parties, family get-togethers or holiday events and usually ends up being a no-show at the last minute.

3. He tells you he’s not ready for a serious relationship but you’re really special and he really likes you.

It seems really into you and he wants to spend time with you.

In fact, he can’t keep his hands off you (flattering).

He acts like a serious suitor, paying you lots of attention.

But there’s a big difference: He told you he’s not ready for a relationship.

No matter how he treats you, men who are open to finding true love will not tell you that

http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/3-signs-hes-not-going-to-marry-you/

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:24am
17: Annie says:

Tam.

Re mocking.

This appears to be trigger for you.

So this is from your past.
For you to work with.
He is a do over.

Who else in your past used to do that to you?
Who does he remind you of?

If he found your hair not to his taste, it’s getting to the place of so what
I wanted my hair like that.
Or I wanted to try that style but it’s not me now.

It’s like Rori says it’s the vibe not letting anyone else define who you are.

By doing the tools and healing you will get to that place.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:30am
18: Femininewoman says:

Men want to feel ATTRACTION.

And I don’t mean that they want to talk about it or analyze it so that it makes “sense”.

They don’t want to listen to what a woman tells them is going on and then come to accept and understand how and why they should be in love.

No. That’s not how men work.

Instead, they want to FEEL their desire for a woman inside their whole body, emotionally driving them, and for it to be undeniable and unrelenting.

Get where I’m going here?

If you don’t make a man FEEL ATTRACTION for you and trigger the emotional desire deep inside him to win you over and be with you for the long term, then there’s no amount of talking, sharing, or SEX that can change his mind.

http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/why-men-sleep-with-women-then-pull-away/3/

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:33am
19: Annie says:

Jade.
No matter what he says you’re great!

This is one of my favorite stories, and you may have heard me tell it before – but I wanted to hear it again myself! So…

American’s Next Top Model is one of my favorite shows. It’s been a bonding thing for my daughter and I to watch for years, and we look forward to it every season.

And – I’ve learned so much from it.

What? you might ask – can I learn from watching models pose?

A lot, I say.

Here’s what I learned from Tyra Banks – modeling is not all about “posing.” It’s all about “being.” Specifically – being “fierce” – and yet “soft.”

The technical aspects of modeling require that you “pose” physically – that you find a way to use your body that hits the mark where the photographer wants you to stand, that shows off the clothes and shoes the way the designer wants them seen, that makes you stand out – but the clothes stand out more…AND – it’s more than a “pretty picture.”

What the competing models learn is that what shows up on the film is what’s INSIDE them. If they are in their “heads” – nothing much of interest shows in the photo. You can SEE them “thinking” – there’s nothing emotional or powerful or commanding – nothing that DRAWS YOU IN there.

So – she teaches them how to be vulnerable. To stand there, technically in what’s often a very, very difficult position and that requires them to be creative about how they stand, sit or lie, and where and how they place every leg, arm, toe, finger, even to the way they tilt their head – and to know where their “light” is and how to best use it. – AND – at the same time – to be open, vulnerable, raw, emotional inside, real.

To be who they are, and let that show on the outside.

As the season goes on – what we see is that the ones who grow in confidence show that confidence by being even MORE vulnerable. Just as I talk about here – they become stronger on the inside, and so softer on the outside.

Now we’re to the story of Jade.

This woman was tough. Really, really tough. Chip on her shoulder. And, as the show went on – she surprised everyone by learning how to be soft.

She simply opened up, watched how the other women were doing it, and used her skillfulness at posing, at the technical aspects (and her skills were and still are considerable – I’ve seen her in a few magazine spreads since…) and then just …let go.

Her fierceness was there, but her eyes were soft. Her chin and jawline were soft. Her arms and hands were soft. She was this completely interesting tough girl with a totally soft exterior. I loved it.

And one day, they had a challenge (you know how those reality shows work…). They fooled the models. They sent them to a fake “call” for a modeling agency…where they were to show the three “important people” behind the desk their photo portfolios and talk with them. Only – the trick was – the three people were to totally RUN DOWN the models…Tell them awful things about themselves and their photos.

One after another, the women came in feeling happy and confident, and as they sat there and heard that their chins were too sharp, their eyes too small…anything the fake important people could think up…you could see their faces fall. The women looked horrible when they left.

To cement how this was – they took pictures of them as they came into the office, and then pictures as they left. It was like before and after a horror show.

Except for Jade.

They threw everything at her. They said her face was “hard.” They said her hair was awful. They said her mouth was too full…they laid it on…and this is what Jade said to each nasty remark:

“Oh…yeah – isn’t that cool. ” She AGREED with them, and then turned it around – like, “Yeah…I have such a strong face, that’s sort of my signature…” (And she was smiling – genuinely – the whole time.)

Everything they threw at her, she turned into a positive. Right there, without even thinking, she took each comment and turned it around.

And she didn’t really seem to know what she was doing. It wasn’t like she had some “elevated” or “false view of herself.” It wasn’t obnoxious – it was endearing and powerful.

What was so powerful – and you just FELT it – was her absolute refusal to let anyone else define her. She was totally okay with herself.

She didn’t need to defend or explain. She simply rejected any negative INTERPRETATIONS of her. She made her OWN interpretations – and shared them.

SHE chose what was the BEST interpretation – to her. The truth was that some of her features were different from many other models. They made it a “bad” thing. The interpretation she chose was that it was a GOOD thing. She made up GOOD stuff, instead of buying their BAD stuff.

And I want you to do this.

Whatever your mind, or someone else, or your fear is screaming at you about you…Just say..”Oh…yeah…so glad you noticed…” Try: “Yeah! I do have that gray streak in my hair…isn’t that cool…! …and I love all those new hair colors they have – I can’t wait to try them all…what fun!”

As silly as you’ll feel – I tell you – it looked GREAT on Jade. And she was someone you didn’t want to like…but you just respected the heck out of her, and wanted to be just like her in that moment.

My daughter and I were whooping during that minute Jade was dealing with the negative people – and we never forgot it.

Now, all we have to say is….”like Jade…” when anything negative happens…and we laugh and turn it around.

Let me know how the Jade trick works for you…

Love, Rori

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:35am
20: Jonathon Aslay says:

Comment #13

Thanks Feminine Woman for the post.

I’m working on new tips for my blog, please write me at JA@understandmennow.com if you would like to contribute.

This is my way of saying thanks.

jonathon

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:36am
21: Goddess Lily says:

I feel weird. I’m getting to a place of so what with profCD but not in a good way. I realized yesterday that Ihadn’t heard from him in three days but I didn’t care. I don’t think I’m healing though. I think Ijust don’t want him as much.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:37am
22: Femininewoman says:

Johnathan I felt like jumping out of my skin when I saw your comment to me.

You are welcome, I will write. Thanks for the invite.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:43am
23: Goddess Lily says:

I reject any negative interpretations of myself! Thanks Annie.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:43am
24: Femininewoman says:

I absolutely love the Jade trick. Thanks for reposting Annie

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:43am
25: bloom-ing says:

feeling like crying a bit haha & feeling smile-y too… hm… easy slow girl easy slow easy happy breathing & opening up & enjoying all that… this… hehe aww ok

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:59am
26: Annie says:

How very true re vibe.

When I am in that place of expressing this what I want without being invested in if that person gives it me that feels amazing.

Yep and it can’t be faked.
Feels so weird.
The other person even knows in a email.
They just know.
Weird weird weird!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:05am
27: Femininewoman says:

Mindset/Attitude – I want you but I don’t need you.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:11am
28: Ulii says:

@ Annie

Thanks!

I really liked the Jade story too. Needed to hear that today.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:14am
29: MissStix says:

((((all sirens))))

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:23am
30: Annie says:

I am finding it difficult today from not going into the pit and sadness pulling me down.

I am in and out of it.
One minute feeling tingly and have some drive to do stuff that makes me feel good.
And the next feeling sad.

I have some stuff today re girlfriend.
I know the difference when someone genuinely wants your company and wants some fun time together.
I love this with a couple of my girlfriends.

I feel so sad about another one.
She only contacts me when she wants something from me.
Not genuine fun times.
What is this about.
I do not know.
I feel unable to process this trigger.
I feel bugged by it.

I feel sad about it I feel used.
I have been allowing myself to be used.
I said no today, but did not speak my truth.
I made an excuse that was semi true.
I don’t feel good about that.
I didn’t feel up to rocking the boat with this one.
bummer, I guess I will be getting that one back fro another time then.
I don’t feel good in this persons energy or company.
Wish i new the message.
I usually get the message quicker than this.
feel frustrated.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:25am
31: MissStix says:

Can I let go of wanting or needing it?

Yep.

Is this why it is all just falling in my lap? Interesting.

I really don’t “need” any of the good stuff going down right now. I feel very happy to receive. I feel very grateful and like “wow”. But I imagine if I received nothing I would humph and hrmmmm a bit and then go about giving to myself.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:26am
32: bloom-ing says:

i choose my reality ? is that true ? lol i think it is…. yummy

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:26am
33: bloom-ing says:

(((ulii))) thanks for the sweetness : ) feels good to read

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:27am
34: MissStix says:

Talking about home businesses with G feels promising. A bit scary. A bit hmmmm. It feels…A little odd.Don’t really have the words for it. Solid solid.

Questions. What? and how? But not why? I know why. We feel weary of slaving away…We feel confident and capable. Intelligent and aware. So maybe the real question is why not?

I think I want to write. Write and write and help people. So many thoughts.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:30am
35: bloom-ing says:

imagine it & then forget about it

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:40am
36: bloom-ing says:

get happy with imagining & get happy with what is

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:40am
37: bloom-ing says:

wish i could remember my silly dreams. remember part but it’s not enough for me to make sense of it, though i remember the last feeling & the “whole thing” at the end, so i feel fine thinking that & actually super duper intense happy lol because i solved a little imaginary number problem lol

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:42am
38: Annie says:

I no it isn’t personal.
It is just what that person does.

What they do is none of my business.
My business is do I want to accept that in my life.

Yayyy I feel better becoming aware that it isn’t personal.
I just don’t want or need that in my life as it doesn’t feel good to me and I want to feel good.

So feels best to turn my energy towards something that feels good.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:43am
39: Tam says:

Annie,
good point.
My mother and my grandad always found something to criticise me.
‘you are stupid’
‘you are too fat’
‘you are too thin’
‘you don’t walk right’
‘I don’t like your long hair’ (!!)
My grandad had all my hair cut off when I was 6 years old. I looked like a boy. He wanted a grandson.

Last year when we were boating, I honestly thought I had my grandad on board. MrP told me to tie something and I tried but failed (he then tried and broke something hah but beside the point). And he said ‘ahhh, God, you’re not an outdoor kinda girl, are you?’. And I am a totally outdoor kinda girl, I am just small and not very strong.
So I just felt tears come up in my eyes and I snapped at him and said ‘I am not here to be criticised, I am here to have fun’. And he was really nice afterwards, actually.
He met me when my hair was chin long and I had the intention of growing it. He went on and on about how much he loved long hair on women and how every man does and women shouldn’t fool themselves and think it’s attractive when they have short hair.
I said to him that I would rather my bf loved me for who I was, so that I could be sure when I got old and wanted to wear my hair short, or when I got ill and lost all my hair, that he would still love me.
He started to lay off the hair thing.
However, occasionally he will say ‘why don’t you wear your hair down and look like a woman’. Peeves me off a lot. It’s the objectification of women also, he triggers everybody, his friend’s wives also, because he animates the men to check out other women constantly. One wife came up to me and asked me how I could put up with it as she finds it totally disresrespectful. I felt the need to explain to her that we were just friends and that I accept the way he is which does not mean I like it very much.
oh well.
If I had had a proper longer term relationship with this man, there would have been a lot of fighting and conflict because it’s all his way or the highway, his opinion or no opinion.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:43am
40: Annie says:

Ty for the want and need reminder FW.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:44am
41: Annie says:

Tam yayyy. A lot of stuff to work with there honey.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:47am
42: Annie says:

your dysfunctional subconscious family love imprint re Mother and Grandad.
And you subconsciously being attracted to Mr P who does the same.

Hugs.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:54am
43: Calypso says:

Hi Sirens!

sorry I have not been on here in a while – I have been stuck home sick, but back to work now and of course very behind, so only a minute to let you know what is going on with me and to try to read about all of you real quick!

I leave for the beach with JC tomorrow at lunch. This will be our first get-away as a couple and I am looking forward to seeing what it feels like to be alone with him out of town like that. We both really want to relax, have some fun aand enjoy being away with each other. We have been dating for 6 weeks now and it feels nice and easy. No drama. I’m starting to trust that it can be good. We have not discussed the future – i don’t want to – I have no idea what I want – I certainly don’t want to feel the burden of what he might want right now – who knows what could happen if we both just relax and let it unfold without any expectations. I don’t want/need any promisesof forever, because I’m not ready to make those same promises.

At some piont tonight or tomorrrow, i will post on FB about going tot he beach – I know GM wills ee it, which is one reason I have not posted about it yet. I don’t want a reaction from him. I’m starting to feel like I am safely on my horse riding in a new direction – I don’t want him using his damn lasso on me . . .

huggs to Sirens – wish me romantic, fun and relaxing times at the beach

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:54am
44: Ulii says:

@ 30

((((Annie))))

I can so relate.

I used to seek for approval & love and the good feeling being “needed” gave me by making favours to these kind of friends, acquaintances, some family members and later also in work context. I was looking for their validation & love that way, but at the same time feeling angry at them & at myself… And also feeling really exhausted and without time to do the things I really liked and being with the people I really liked to be with. But speaking up my truth was so difficult. It was easier to escape to another town or even to another country. Only to find myself surrounded by similar situations again.

Just recently I have started to speak up for me more, say no…Just because…and trying not to feel too guilty about it.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:59am
45: bloom-ing says:

I HAVE A GAMER PROFILE hahaha i feel so pleased & happy & cheerful & round – round i feel happy & round – how are those connected ? i like it ROTUND HAPPINESS reminds me of the circle rolling missing a piece…. what happens in that story ? reminds me of those antidepressant commercials that played when i was younger…. dusty church smell & the lonely feeling & trying to be quiet on carpet, just to not get “caught” in a one-on-one interaction….. hehe feels funny to imagine tiny girl playing “count steps” or “walk grid-lines” with such fear. hehehe she’s so cute ! & silly & scared hugs little girl aww i laugh with you, let’s laugh about it baby : )) ummmm & then the story at camp… oh & also the platonic dinner conversations ? ? ? what was that ? lemme google that ish real quick…. amazing. all i have to do is type “platonic dinner conversations romantic love ideals” & i can get that it’s the Symposium…. weird. why would i ever have to remember anything if i can search archives & emails like this… lol, ok, brain – empty thyself. no one needs you anymore. hahaha ok ok…. calm girl. drink water. relax your face. jump up & down. hahaha ok ok ok ok

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:59am
46: Tam says:

Annie, but the strange thing is that I never before attracted that kind of man. I had such lovely and respectful bf’s that came from intact families. As I get older, I realise that many of those guys are now in happy marriages, and the guys that I meet are often either very needy (like the guy who cried on our second date and is sending me a text every half hour), or very independent and non-committal (MrP and others). I know people say it is a cliche that all the good men are taken, but many are. And they are in marriages that are working, usually, at least my ex’s are, so it does get more difficult.
Also we each carry more and more baggage as we get older…it is difficult to overcome it all sometimes.
I try not to feel hopeless…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:01am
47: Tam says:

My friend who is also a psychologist, said that it’s not necessarily about attracting such a man but because I have had to deal with narcissism and bipolar and harsh people in my family, that I can ‘take’ them, i e I bother with them when other people would have given up.
She said that I am too understanding because I grew up with people who had the same pattern which means I can tolerate a lot more than maybe others.
She also said, however, that because of this I have to be careful not to lose myself trying to understand someone else, and I am totally with her on that.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:03am
48: Femininewoman says:

Limiting beliefs

people say it is a cliche that all the good men are taken, but many are

Also we each carry more and more baggage as we get older…it is difficult to overcome it all

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:04am
49: bloom-ing says:

it’s so weird…… but cd i am learning from him… how ? idk……………… & he is learning from me ? & it feels so JUMBLY & confusing hahaha… & bubbly & no-hard-edges….. underwater, i can spin a hundred flips, backwards or forwards. do the twist twist down all the way to the bottom, corkscrew down in gravity-kicking bubbles hehe yummy

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:04am
50: LiliBee says:

I’m feeling sad

The weekend is around the corner, and I have no plans.

I felt a small urge to lean forward by calling D.
He said warmly “We’ll see each other real soon.”
I feel an urge to call and ask when.
Then I start feeling the pressure and tension of that wanting to know, to controll the outcome.
Reaching and grabbing on.
I don’t want to feel that way anymore.

It feels much better when things happen without my forcing them.
I don’t have to put out so much energy to only feel exhausted afterwards.

Hmmm…What would make me feel good?
Hiking, cooking, wishboard, hanging out with my bf.
I am great company right now

Relaxing, just letting things happen and ‘doing’ for ME.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:06am
51: Tam says:

48 re-phrase: it takes conscious effort to overcome the past hurts and trust people, who themselves are overcoming past hurts and find it hard to trust.
It’s not so much a limiting belief as a fact that I have learnt from CDing. Every man I have met first tells me about what has caused them to date again, failed marriage, failed relationship and then they go into what has hurt them etc.
It feels a little exasperating at times.

This was definitely not a topic in our 20′s.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:08am
52: LiliBee says:

Rori mentions something in 1 of her programs about our left side being our feminine side and the right being our masculine side.

I’ve noticed when I stand, I lean on my right side by habit.
I am trying to tap into my feminine energy by shifting my body to lean on the left side.
It feels odd.
I feel off balance when I do it.
It’s the opposite of what I’m used to.

I will try that for a while and see what happens.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:10am
53: Iamabutterfly says:

This absolutely cracked me up! It actually makes me feel more warm towards men:

http://www.ivillage.com/translating-man-speak-what-he-really-trying-tell-you/4-a-283613

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:12am
54: Lisa says:

Rori,
I am stuck! Literaly stuck! I have been married for 18 years. I made a really bad decision to have an affair with someone I knew from my highschool days. I found that I still had strong feelings for him and may even be IN Love with him, but I am still married. My husband and I have been having difficulties for the past few years and things have been falling apart. I guess that is why I decided to do this horrible thing I swore I would never do.
I love my husband but not IN love, and I truely feel strongly about this even before I hooked up with this other guy. Now that things have escalated into a mess the other guy has now backed away, making me feel very used and violated. We are “friends”, I hate that word, cuz it dosen’t mean what I want it to mean. I feel that he is dating other women, which I also hate, but I cannot expect anything else since I have not made the decision to leave my husband.
I am so confused as to what is really going on anymore.
Lisa

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:29am
55: MissStix says:

Iama

That article is missing the only 2 parts I really wanted to read :p

But it was amusing.

Although I don’t believe if a man says “I need space” he is really saying “I am this close to dumping you…”

I think he really just needs space.

To man cave.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:30am
56: Femininewoman says:

LiliBee I wonder if it means your leading/dominant side? I wonder if it means the same for left handed women? That the left side is the masculune side?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:31am
57: MissStix says:

Now…If you don’t give him that space…Thats another story

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:31am
58: Iamabutterfly says:

@54 Miss Stix – what 2 parts was it missing? @55 – agreed.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:32am
59: LiliBee says:

I feel open, warm and inviting.
That’s enough, I am enough.
I don’t need to do anything, I don’t need to prove anything.

Leaning on my left side until I feel comfortable with it.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:33am
60: Femininewoman says:

Leaning on the left side sounds like a way to consciously choose the feminine.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:34am
61: LiliBee says:

Leaning back, leaving space for the man to take the lead and leave him feeling like a man.

That thought feels good

I feel centered again.

Keeping leaning on my left side eventhough it’s not comfortable yet, as I am sitting on my chair here.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:37am
62: Goddess Lily says:

Apparently practicing the tools in profCD’s presence makes me look psychotic. He asked me more than once if I was ok.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:41am
63: Femininewoman says:

I doubt that Goddess Lily. I would look back to check how I felt. I would hazard a guess that you might have been feeling a wee bit uncomfortable or second guessing whether the tools were working.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:45am
64: Femininewoman says:

According to you
I’m difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
I’m a mess in a dress
Can’t show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you

But according to him
I’m beautiful, incredible
He can’t get me out of his head
According to him
I’m funny,irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don’t feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He’s into me for everything I’m not
According to you

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:48am
65: Calypso says:

Odd note about JC that I just noticed – he refers to his house as “home” when talking to me – I get there and he says, “Welcome home” and just now he texted asking me to dinner and when I asked where he wanted to meet, he just said to meet him at “home” – awwww . . . JC wants to play house – isn’t that sweet? He must feel really comfortable with me leaning so far back – lol. he is definately in the “Convincer” role. I like this – I can relax. I feel safe.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:49am
66: Rori Raye says:

Lisa – I would like to encourage you to get personal help with a therapist or coach to figure out what it is you really want. There pretty much is no such thing as a good man who will be with a married woman and then “take her away” from her marriage and be her life partner. I’ve heard of it in reverse, a woman taking a married man away from his wife and marrying him – but not the situation you describe. His heart and mind won’t allow him to believe that if you cheated on your husband, you won’t cheat on him – it’s just a bad “vibe.” Men lose interest all the time, even after coming on hot and heavy. This situation is so high risk-low possible return. I suggest that if you love your husband, you can fall in love with him. Love, Rori

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:54am
67: LoveAlways says:

“Backing away in itself is meaningless. It’s whether or not it helps YOUR energy and “vibe” to do so. When you’re overcome by need, or feeling compelled to DO anything – it’s always best to back off, settle into yourself, feel what your feeling, own it, and wait to “do” anything until you can communicate authentically and show up as free of tension and agenda as you can. . . It’s all about integrating your system harmoniously. Building it all around self-love no matter what. Then everything shows up better. Love your insecurity. Love it all. That way, no one can shake you up when it happens…”

These words make me feel light and soothed. Thanks Rori

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:59am
68: Tam says:

…oh, I just re-read my email from last night and realise, amongst the feeling messages it was quite blamey…oops…well, what’s done is done.
Love your mistakes, Tam.
Coonsidering what I had on my tongue that didn’t come out, I didn’t do too badly…
I can be blamey once in a blue moon and I forgive myself for being blamey once every now and then. I have been doing rather well, even if I say so myself.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:00am
69: Smile says:

I found a man to cd with! My work place is all female staff. No men but in my new role I get to interact frequently with the football coach, he’s emailed twice and came into my room to see me. He’s very attractive I’m not seeing it in a date way, but how Rori describes to cd even with the butcher! This man just happens to be single, and I’m a little attracted to him. I smiled lots and flirted discretely. He looked at me straight in the eyes! It felt delicious!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:03am
70: MissStix says:

Iama

The top lies a man will tell, and how you know if he really loves you.They seem to be missing…Or I did not see anthing written?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:03am
71: MissStix says:

Right on calypso

And keep noticing those little words!

I kind of used to pick and choose what I heard. Now I listen to all of the words. It makes a huge difference!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:05am
72: Tam says:

Smile!! Yay!!! The football coach. Yummy!!
I like fit men

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:05am
73: Iamabutterfly says:

@70 Miss Stix – Give me a second. I’ll look those up. (I already read them!)

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:10am
74: Iamabutterfly says:

Top ten lies:

http://www.ivillage.com/men-confess-10-lies-they-tell-women-2/4-b-343351

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:12am
75: Daria says:

57: Sad says:

hi! although i have more questions, currently i would love to know the best response to give my husband for this situation. i have been practicing the lean back (works awesome), going with it when he does show interest and actually talks (nice), etc. he is having sex with another woman, and i sort of lost it the two nights ago after yet another roundevou with her. i simply stated the facts that i knew he was seeing her. then last night on phone with him he told me i was a fool and did not have any idea what i was talking about. i told him both he and i know what he is doing and it is not right and not fair. if he needs to be with her then that is what he needs to do. dead silence on phone. end of conversation for the night which was fine with me. he did come home to sleep as always. here is the question: he keeps texting me that “he does care” and i don’t know a good response. at this point i don’t even now if i want to try to get him back or not. thank you!!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 5:27am

58: Rori Raye says:

Sad – If you were my client – I’d fill pages and pages with instructions for you. Get your mojo back. Circular Date. Take classes. Make money. Volunteer. Date men and sleep with them if you want. Live your life. Let this man make the decision to either come crawling back and beg you to take him back – or if he’ll just stay in limbo like this forever. So – stop WAITING for him to wake up or stay asleep! Please – your whole life does NOT depend on any ONE man!!! Love, Rori

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:13am
76: Daria says:

1554: Josh Giffard says:

Do you have any suggestions from a man’s point of view, as in Men are looking for love too, its not just a woman thing, some of us men want to find that wonderful woman we can’t live without, sometimes called a soul-mate ?? Just kind of frustrating that dating these days is so hard for older men and women, well especially men, Since society says that men in their late forties are supposed to be at the top of their game and on the well off side, well what happens when this isn’t so for whatever reason ?? Does that mean that Love and the non well off man are doomed or isn’t going to happen ??

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:17am

1555: Rori Raye says:

Josh – I’m letting this one comment (I don’t generally allow men on the blog, it usually ends badly no matter what!) through because I want to help you. If you lurk here, you’ll learn how women think and feel when you’re not around. We have an inner world that’s very, very different from yours. And this blog is about illuminating our inner world so that we can bond on a profoundly deep level with YOU. Once you stop trying to figure us out, and just “get” that we’re different, that we’re emotional, and decide to LOVE that and not feel frightened of it – you’ll be rolling in women.

What you need is a combo of non-judgment, cherishing of a woman no matter WHAT, learning to facilitate her opening up to you emotionally so that YOU can open up to her, creating safety from your end by being a good LEADER – and BEING and ACTING like a good leader (personal authority and leadership skills is what sets one man apart from another. It fulfills the romantic “bad boy” attraction while creating the maturity a man needs to be with a woman and get the respect he needs and deserves in order to make the whole relationship work.

Try googling David Cunningham – he’s great. He writes, he’s got a book – it’ll help you a lot – and also go to David DeAngelo (Eben Pagan) at http://www.doubleyourdating.com. What you want are his LATER programs like “Man Transformation” and the piece he just did with his wife where he teaches intimacy from a man’s point of view. Love, Rori

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:04am

1556: Rori Raye says:

Also, Josh – you don’t need to be well-off. You just need to be able to take care of yourself, and be willing to handle an independent woman who can take care of herself. Love, Rori

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:05am

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:13am
77: Tam says:

‘Live your life. Let this man make the decision to either come crawling back and beg you to take him back – or if he’ll just stay in limbo like this forever. So – stop WAITING for him to wake up or stay asleep! Please – your whole life does NOT depend on any ONE man!!! Love, Rori’

wuhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I’ll subscribe to that

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:15am
78: Daria says:

Hmm that feels weird to hear. My next door neighbor ‘ran away’ out of the country with a married girl… actually i think she hadn’t been married very long though, maybe only a few months.

She divorced and married him and they’re together and very in love.

I don’t know, maybe they already had domething going and she only got married out of family pressure… i feel unsure.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:18am
79: Daria says:

also i don’t know their relationship and what it looks like or if it will last

but clearly from what i’ve heard he was VERY in love with this woman, and risked even reputation since they are part of the same community…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:19am
80: Smile says:

Tam, he’s good to distracted my attention off strumming man/ turtle man!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:19am
81: Daria says:

Also, another (married) family friend got involved with a woman who was married to another family friend in my parent’s circle.

She got found out by her husband, and moved out. He divorced her. The man moved out of the house with his wife (he never seemed adoring of his wife) and in with the woman. They are in a relationship. He does not want to go back to the wife.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:20am
82: Smile says:

I’m living my life!!!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:23am
83: Daria says:

Also…. lol jk

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:23am
84: Tam says:

80 turtle man..haha…I am tortoise woman….I stick my head out a little bit, MrP pokes me on the nose, and I go straight back in not to come out for ages.

It’s like my tortoise that was scared of cats particularly. He was pretty funny when he saw a cat (must have got scratched?)..he just hissed, retracted (like me), and then did not come out for like 10 minues…and only reeaallly slowly, first the little eyes made sure nothing bad out there…
You know, it does make sense for tortoises, maybe not so much for humans

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:23am
85: Tam says:

Smile, shame you are so far away…I could give you some of my CD’s for distraction. I can’t cope anymore…I need to whittle this down, my phone is driving me nuts.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:25am
86: Smile says:

Tam, I’m curious why he didn’t call me back or text instead. Hm maybe he was busy after he tried to call… Not thinking bout it really but it’s a niggling thought. I have a NV keep coming up that he called me by mistake.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:30am
87: MissStix says:

Iama

Thank you

And lol! I don’t hear those lies because I don’t ask the questions that lead up to them, nor do I care one way or the other :p I know my man thinks about other women. I know he appreciates other women’s beauty. I know i’m not fat and I love me even if I was. Ewwwww I would not want to use his razor haha I’m a fabulous cook

And the biggest one to me is “we’ll talk about it later”

Why then, am I always hearing “talk to me, lets talk about this, I would hope you’d share with me” and etc etc?

Mmmm rori’s tools. Yum! And I picked a gooder I think.

Maybe i’m over analyzing something that is simply fun and amusing, but it seems to me these lies spring mostly from a man trying to assuage a woman’s fears, and bolster her low self-esteem.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:32am
88: Smile says:

He he, I feel a little jealous. I’m feeling longing for attention right now. But it feels good I’m not laser focused on strummingman. My friend always manages to date how she describes as needy. At first I thought why doesn’t it feel good to have a man chase that much? But I can see the red flags in it now.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:33am
89: Tam says:

86, nooooo way. Maybe he felt in the moment and wanted to tell you something and later on got entangled into something else.
If you have to make up a story, make up a good one.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:34am
90: LoveAlways says:

Going to lean back to achieve a little disconnect. Not feeling so comfortable in this space with HScd right now. Don’t know if it’s me or him, so this feels right for now.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:36am
91: Iamabutterfly says:

uggg, I can’t find how you can tell a man is falling in love, but here’s another good one:

http://www.ivillage.com/bored-your-man-20-ways-fall-love-again/4-b-477638

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:38am
92: Smile says:

Tam, this is why I love the blog! That’s exactly what I’m going to do! I like how you flipped it for me. Thanks. I felt instant relief, like all my NV’s flying away.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:39am
93: Tam says:

92

There was a point yesterday when I was watching the movie with the old ladies that I purposely imagined MrP sitting at his ladies night with his chums (‘meeting’ ha ha) feeling bored and missing me. Totally not the reality, he loves looking at the women there (I get to hear it all the time, yuck), but I chose to believe that and it made me feel smiley

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:43am
94: Iamabutterfly says:

I don’t know if this is it or not, but:

http://www.ivillage.com/10-signs-hes-love-0/4-a-283763

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:44am
95: bloom-ing says:

miss stix, i feel curious if you can share more about this, “:p I know my man thinks about other women. I know he appreciates other women’s beauty.” ….. my little girl would appreciate a lullaby to that “tune” & any inspiration you can provide would feel lovely : )

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:49am
96: Smile says:

Right now it would feel good to imagine my perfect relationship, what it would look and feel like, as Rori advises. I feel dreamy thinking about this. Can make up some great stuff that would feel good!

Also gonna do a bit of imagining about mrfootball! Or soccer for American ladies!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:51am
97: Smile says:

Ex of two years never got back in touch. He texed after hols to ask if I had a nice time. That was it. I then bumped into him with his girlfriend, but I didn’t make eye contact, just walked past and smiled, said hi to them as a group as he was with mutual friends too.

I will prob ‘bump’ into him more when I move.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:54am
98: Emerson says:

Tam I hear ya.
I don’t really want to hear the “stories” but at the same time I want to know his story… So I endure it. I don’t know. I have people telling me to stay single. Why do people say that?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:01pm
99: Iamabutterfly says:

@87 Miss Stix – I totally agree!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:02pm
100: Iamabutterfly says:

Another one of my guy friend’s got engaged this week. He’s been moved away for over a year now, but he’s back in town for a visit, and I happened to run into him. He lit up like a Christmas tree, gave me the biggest hug, and told me how great it was to see me. and I felt so happy for him. All I could think was “Now, THAT is how a man should act when he’s engaged!” He’s thrilled to be alive, and it shows…:)

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:06pm
101: bloom-ing says:

iamabutterfly, 100 WOW ! that is so different from the experiences you’ve been describing : )) wow, i agree, how lovely to see & feel that energy !!! : ) yum

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:08pm
102: Annie says:

66: Rori Raye says:

“Lisa – I would like to encourage you to get personal help with a therapist or coach to figure out what it is you really want. There pretty much is no such thing as a good man who will be with a married woman and then “take her away” from her marriage and be her life partner. I’ve heard of it in reverse, a woman taking a married man away from his wife and marrying him – but not the situation you describe. His heart and mind won’t allow him to believe that if you cheated on your husband, you won’t cheat on him – it’s just a bad “vibe.” Men lose interest all the time, even after coming on hot and heavy. This situation is so high risk-low possible return. I suggest that if you love your husband, you can fall in love with him. Love, Rori”

I feel confused by this Rori, I wanted to know if that if a man did have an affair with a married woman which led to her leaving her first Husband to marry him that he is a bad man?

Have I got your thoughts on this right.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:10pm
103: Smile says:

Strummingman just texed, he apologised for missing my call too. I tried to call him after I realised I’d a miss call from him.

I’m not going to respond there is nothing to respond to…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:14pm
104: Tam says:

Emerson, not sure. I really have met a lot of bitter people rearding relationships. And then they always blame it on the wife/gf. And when I am out with them, they talk about all their other ‘female friends’ and whatever else that feels triggering. It triggers me usually to be on the side of the ex-wife or ex-gf and wishing I’d never be in their shoes.
This happened quite a few times lately. I try hard not to get judgmental, but then I feel so turned off by some stuff.
It is definitely easier to stay single. But I do want a nice relationship again…seems like golddust.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:14pm
105: Smile says:

Lamabutterfly, that feels good to read! I want a man who feels alive! Who makes me feel alive!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:17pm
106: Daria says:

Annie – me too…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:18pm
107: Starla says:

I told WarriorCD on Monday that I wasn’t gonna text/chat anymore but that it’d feel great to hear his voice any time. I didn’t hear from him since, until this morning when he texted me to ask if I wanted to go to First Friday Art Walk in my city for the date he proposed last weekend for tomorrow night.

I didn’t answer. No text means no text.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:21pm
108: Annie says:

I have always loved the story of Edward and Mrs Simpson, how he loved her so much he gave up being King.

Was he a bad man?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:21pm
109: Smile says:

Oo this is new territory for me but I feel smily at my non response like I’ve raised my degree of difficulty!

Like if you want more give more? Hm… How does this sound??

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:22pm
110: Iamabutterfly says:

@101 bloom-ing – aww, I feel smiley. I’ve been waaaay too negative lately, and I feel guilty about that!

I noticed that I’m so sensitive to eating (or not), sleeping (or not) (or too much!), and movement. (or not) (or too much!)

I actually got less sleep last night, and feel a zillion times better! (I think I was over-doing it trying to get “enough.”)

aww, it feels great to understand my sensitive self better. I’m going to take good care of her so that she’s balanced and happy.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:23pm
111: Daria says:

Rori I have a q:

“102: Annie says:

66: Rori Raye says:

“Lisa – I would like to encourage you to get personal help with a therapist or coach to figure out what it is you really want. There pretty much is no such thing as a good man who will be with a married woman and then “take her away” from her marriage and be her life partner. I’ve heard of it in reverse, a woman taking a married man away from his wife and marrying him – but not the situation you describe. His heart and mind won’t allow him to believe that if you cheated on your husband, you won’t cheat on him – it’s just a bad “vibe.” Men lose interest all the time, even after coming on hot and heavy. This situation is so high risk-low possible return. I suggest that if you love your husband, you can fall in love with him. Love, Rori”

I feel confused by this Rori, I wanted to know if that if a man did have an affair with a married woman which led to her leaving her first Husband to marry him that he is a bad man?

Have I got your thoughts on this right.”

78: Daria says:

Hmm that feels weird to hear. My next door neighbor ‘ran away’ out of the country with a married girl… actually i think she hadn’t been married very long though, maybe only a few months.

She divorced and married him and they’re together and very in love.

I don’t know, maybe they already had domething going and she only got married out of family pressure… i feel unsure.”

79: Daria says:

also i don’t know their relationship and what it looks like or if it will last

but clearly from what i’ve heard he was VERY in love with this woman, and risked even reputation since they are part of the same community…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:19am

81: Daria says:

Also, another (married) family friend got involved with a woman who was married to another family friend in my parent’s circle.

She got found out by her husband, and moved out. He divorced her. The man moved out of the house with his wife (he never seemed adoring of his wife) and in with the woman. They are in a relationship. He does not want to go back to the wife.”

“108: Annie says:

I have always loved the story of Edward and Mrs Simpson, how he loved her so much he gave up being King.

Was he a bad man? ”

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:26pm
112: Daria says:

Annie I’ve copy and pasted our comments on that topic and sent them to Rori in moderation as a q

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:27pm
113: Smile says:

Daria, he, I felt giggly at the fact I imagined you sending Rori an email full of swearing so it would go into moderation lol.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:30pm
114: Iamabutterfly says:

@107 Starla – I can guarantee you he didn’t get the message you were trying to convey.

He won’t get it by you ignoring his text either, I can guarantee that as well.

If I were you, I would simply text back: Call me, please.

It’s straight-forward, urgent, and leaves no guessing for him to do.

then, when he does call, tell him how thrilled you are and how great it is to hear his voice. “Can you call me instead of texting me? I feel really tingly/excited/turned on/melty/soft when you call me and I can hear your voice.”

He’ll be calling again…

Texting is likely an unbreakable habit for him, a preferred mode of communication, and the thought of picking up the telephone to actually CALL you might even terrify him.

I myself prefer texting. Telephone conversations tend to bore me.

I have ADD and get distracted EXTREMELY easily when trying to listen, and then when the person on the other end senses my distraction I feel really guilty, so I prefer texting, because I can give the message my full attention when distractions are limited or non-existant.

What do you think?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:30pm
115: Iamabutterfly says:

@105 Smile – I know, it makes me feel so happy and hopeful.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:34pm
116: Smile says:

Sometimes, once I send a message I read it back and want to change a part of it, like a feeling word should have been disappointed rather than sad.

It’s Ok, I’m learning, I’ll know for next time.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:36pm
117: Starla says:

lama, you’re right. i’ll text him when i’m off of work.

i also don’t want to go to the art walk, lol

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:37pm
118: Starla says:

or maybe i could just ignore him until he goes away.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:43pm
119: Iamabutterfly says:

@116 Starla – haha.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:44pm
120: Starla says:

i mean, i was pretty clear saying i was BOYCOTTING texting but that it would feel great to hear his voice any time.

i feel like this man is testing my limits a little bit. and he’s actually admitted to doing this before with me (testing me)

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:49pm
121: Belle says:

51
Tam
“Every man I have met first tells me about what has caused them to date again, failed marriage, failed relationship and then they go into what has hurt them etc.
It feels a little exasperating at times.”

Tam, I read this, felt giggly and laughed, imagining taking a cue from you and saying, “I’m not here to be your therapist, I’m here to have fun!”

I did actually ask a man once if he had considered therapy and suggested he could probably use it.
He was spilling massive emotional pain all over the place, his wife had just lost a baby (open relationship, I met and had the blessing of his wife), another lover had unexpectedly broken up with him, and he was talking about having another baby asap but not getting connected to it until after it was born, and talking about childhood abuse and abandonment pain. On date 1.

Ouch.
I’m feeling pain all up in my shoulders just thinking about how much pain he was in that night…
(((Belle)))
slathering love all over me

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 12:51pm
122: bloom-ing says:

lol “therapy” as dating… i definitely had a first date with a man who INSISTED – after telling me he was “no longer in date-mode” hahahaha – on walking me around & around an old wind-y neighborhood to deconstruct all my spiritual barriers to intimacy……. omg. thanks, cute men. you’re weird & i love you lol…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:01pm
123: Smile says:

I want to respond with a smiley face.

I Want to acknowledge his text.

He didn’t acknowledge my returned one so why should I feel the need to?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:03pm
124: Smile says:

I’m sitting on my hands!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:04pm
125: Smile says:

Now going to read my book to take my mind off it.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:05pm
126: bloom-ing says:

he told me to call him anytime & that he would happily coach me ? on something… lol it was something really funny…. he thought i needed to drink more ? lol….. & he thought…… he was talking about how he was a Warrior Man & how i was “putting” my own ? “burdens” on the idea of a partner ? i was putting the weight of my own… like “Completions” ? or something….. felt very surreal. very magical & weird feeling night…. hm. i’d feel interested to recover my full memories from that conversation.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:05pm
127: Smile says:

Flinging disappointed he sent me a non responsive text

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:06pm
128: Smile says:

*feeling

Heard from him the last 2 evenings, but not actually engaged in conversation or text.

I want more.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:08pm
129: Smile says:

By not responding when it doesn’t require me to, am I breaking a pattern that isn’t serving me?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:10pm
130: bloom-ing says:

i remember feeling sad for him… kind of like, “aww, baby, you don’t have to be like that to win a woman” & also at the same time i felt like, “woah, i did not realize that is how a man might perceive me” hmmmm…. this feels good to remember. he felt “older than” me in a lot of ways, like i felt like i was speaking to my father. however, i also remember feeling like i was his mother & he was “just venting” & i felt like just accepting that that was how he saw it. hmmm i wonder where i can use this in my Relationship ? yummy ! yummy yum yum lol : ) hehe i feel surprised ! awww sweet cracked-open feeling haha

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:10pm
131: Daria says:

thanks Daria for loving my sadness and honoring it

thank you for showering me

thank you for shaving my legs

and putting lemon on them

and wiping off when it stung

thank u for getting me a bandaid for my booboo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:23pm
132: Smile says:

I love the debate in my head ((((my thoughts))))

Looks like crossed paths all the time. Im looking for his lead if he wants the paths to meet.

It would feel good to hear him. I miss his accent. A missed call feels like a step up from a text but now feels like the step up has been over shadowed with a text message requiring no response.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:24pm
133: Smile says:

His normal response if I’ve been busy and not replied is… Hey, did you get my text?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:26pm
134: bloom-ing says:

smile, i feel curious about not responding….. that was always my Modus Operandi… “does this require a response ? ” if it didn’t, i rarely sent anything. just because i don’t like winding text-y conversation that doesn’t lead to Fun lol….. : ) i feel excited to text ! & then i feel let down if it doesn’t end up with a really really fun thing at the end, so that’s why i stopped doing it. felt like a treasure hunt where you like have to wait days to know what the next clue is. BORING hahaha…. ummm but i wouldn’t Not Text just because i wanted him to Act Differently, since that feels like game-playing or a control play or something…. what do you think ? i’d do what you straight up Want to do…. only making sure that “what I Wanted to do” was really in line with what i Actually Want lol… so, like, i wouldn’t text some guy that i really liked but wasn’t sure when i was going to hear from him, because what i Actually Want – more than to hear from him – is to See How He Treats Me : ) what do you think ? i feel curious what you will decide : ) feels fun to text & date & meet men : )))

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:27pm
135: bloom-ing says:

smile, “backing away is meaningless – it’s your VIBE that counts” : )))

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:29pm
136: MissStix says:

Ohhh hmmmm

Bloom-ing 95

I feel a little stumped. hmmm And all I can say right in this moment is: All women are beautiful in their own way. And I do know men appreciate and admire this feminine beauty. And so do I and I know, I think about many people. Women, men. I may think “Ohhhh that man looks good!” and I might have a hot flash of a fantasy or I might think “Oh isn’t she pretty and I like her lips!” (this one from a pretty lady I saw today). All are blessed with their own thoughts and feelings and I think…It does not harm me for my man to think “She’s hot!” about the girl walking by. Her hotness diminishing me…Does not compute.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:31pm
137: Smile says:

Blooming, thanking you kindly. it wouldn’t feel good to respond to a text that didn’t require the response, so I won’t. I only Want to respond out of politeness like, hey, yeh I got your text. But It feels like effort to start a conversation and I don’t want to do that. If he wanted to talk more, I trust he would have initiated it more.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:35pm
138: MissStix says:

I notice pretty girls when out with the man and I notice him NOT noticing. I have never asked but I can only assume he deliberately does not look. I guess it means he probably does notice, but he does not admire. And it doesn’t feel “safe” like…”hey my man doesn’t look or notice and he must not notice anyone but me!” but more “appreciative” like…”Wow. My man consciously and deliberately looks straight ahead. Isn’t he awesome? What a sweety to consider me like that.”

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:39pm
139: Daria says:

im feeling sad

and sleepy

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:40pm
140: Smile says:

Blooming…

I’m compelled to lean forward to text a smiley face.

This bit of the article helps, thanks for reminding me about it.

When you’re overcome by need, or feeling compelled to DO anything – it’s always best to back off, settle into yourself, feel what your feeling, own it, and wait to “do” anything until you can communicate authentically and show up as free of tension and agenda as you can.

I have no agenda, other than to be polite and acknowledge a text. I kinda feel a bit rude not responding, I feel like I’m ignoring?

I feel secure and comfortable inside myself, less like i have to “do” anything to “get” him,

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:46pm
141: Smile says:

I feel happy and comfortable now to rest, relax then sleep.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:48pm
142: Iamabutterfly says:

Not very Siren-y, but it still felt intriguing to me:

male privilege is “i have a boyfriend” being the only response that might actually stop a guy from coming onto you, because he respects another man more than he respects your actual opinion/lack of interest.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:54pm
143: Iamabutterfly says:

memory: I was driving down a country road one afternoon at sunset, and I stopped at a light. and there was a man. he looked into my car, smiled with an obvious sexual appetite, and then made a gesture that I knew meant, “will you come have sex with me?”

I was 19.
I felt terror.

I shook my head no. He mouthed “why.”
I mouthed “Boyfriend.” and drove quickly away…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:56pm
144: bloom-ing says:

“plans” all time quarterback

Would you ever thought of this, a split at the seams
And I was careful enough to keep my questions to
The least level of what I thought you could handle

And I was 17 and you kept on changing the plan

Breaking into houses for the sheer thrill of a crime
Was funny at first but then I turned 13 and it got
Harder to not get caught with the goods

And I was 17 and you kept on changing
Plans were more complex cause the cop cars
finally stepped up to bat.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 1:58pm
145: Tam says:

Ladies, I feel a little silly right now. I know now what the misunderstanding was yesterday, and if he had actually said a few more words I’d have understood. OMG. ‘this is not a date’ is the clue here…yikes..ha!!
I made this all about me, being the new princess I am I thought ‘of course he wants to see me why would he tell me three days in a row that he will be up here?’
In fact, he was meeting with buddies. He was informing me where he was going. NO MORE.
Then I gave the whole speech about needing plans in advance and wanting to be picked up (making this all about me, like a date) – hence he said ‘this is not a date’ – and I misunderstood completely….hehehe…like I was from another planet.
He wasn’t much bothered if I was going to be there or not, but if I was ‘out anyway’, I could have tagged along and he could have shown me off as his ;friend Tam’. That’s all it was.
OMG, I am embarrassed but I also feel amused with myself for not being able to see that that was all it was. I was in ‘Princess Tam’ mode…thinking he wants to see me badly….too funny.
He wasn’t bothered to see me…and there was me going on and on ‘it would feel nice to see you, it would feel good to be picked up’… I feel cringey.
It was a simple misunderstanding.
Just that.
I swear that before this Rori stuff I’d have realised this, but now I am like ‘yeah, meeting or not, I am the yummy pie and the magnet and he is desperate to see me’ – but he wasn’t. Not at all, he was out and it was like ‘see ya or not’ .Oh dear.
I feel giggly and also embarrassed.
DUH!!!!!
Well, I will never assume anything again now, Jeepers.
I am the yummy pie still though

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:01pm
146: Starla says:

I tell men “i am not interested” instead of “i have a boyfriend.”

they usually take it pretty well.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:01pm
147: Tam says:

I briefly felt like informing him that it was a misunderstanding, but actually, there is no need because now I am even more turned off as he should be begging me for a date and not make vague plans for me to turn up as a groupie on his boy’s night.
Now I am supremely turned off.
No need to explain anything, he gets the message.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:03pm
148: Tam says:

OMG OMG. He just wrote to me and said it was a meeting for my benefit…..
well, how the hell was I supposed to know that????
hsjrhfgawulyrgfjs,hfgwulayergfvwaj,rlhgfawufgvc
AAAAAARGH
Silly man.
He also said there are things like taxis but that he understood, economy bla bla.

And he said that he is an introvert and that I must not end up like him.

And now I want to cry again. Urgh.

I quickly wrote back that I was sorry as I realised already before his email that he had a misunderstanding and felt embarrassed.
I also said that it would feel better to have a more clear communication because I feel exasperated having to read between the lines and potentially getting it wrong.

Oh man.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:14pm
149: bloom-ing says:

“Yes !” Coldplay

When it started we had high hopes
Now my back’s on the line, my back’s on the ropes
When it started we were alright
But night makes a fool of us in daylight

There we were dying of frustration
Saying, “Lord lead me not into temptation”
But it’s not easy when she turns you on
Since they’ve gone

If you’d only, if you’d only say yes Whether you will’s anybody’s guess God only God knows I’m trying my best But I’m just so tired of this loneliness

So up they picked me by the big toe I was held from the rooftop, then they let it go If there’s any screaming let the windows down As I crawl to the ground

If you’d only, if you’d only say yes Whether you will’s anybody’s guess God only God knows she won’t let me rest But I’m just so tired of this loneliness I’ve become so tired of this loneliness

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:15pm
150: MissStix says:

I wrote a silly poem in my head on my drive home from work…

I am just me.
and she being
“more” than me
does not
make me
less than me.
But to be
the bestest me
I can be
I must!
Love the she
who is just…
me

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:18pm
151: MissStix says:

Yeahhh

I got soul but

i’m not a soldier.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:22pm
152: Starla says:

Ooh I want to share a poem I wrote! It’s inspired by the Autumn season
————————–
Deciduous Me

I am a tree,
Deciduous in nature,
In that my coloring will change until
It is finally shed completely.
As I leave bits of myself
All over your lawn,
Two obvious options
Present themselves -
You can leave my shed, colored parts
Ignored to turn brown, crumble, and rot
(interrupted only by the trampling footsteps of your neglect),
Or you can sweep them promptly into
Lifeless garbage bags for disposal.
If I were more than just a tree,
There is a third way I’d urge you to consider -
Which involves taking the time to appreciate
The varied layers of colors I bear within me,
Neither ignoring nor disposing of the nuisance
Of bits of myself shed all over your lawn.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:30pm
153: MissStix says:

(((tam)))

Can you say “ooooopsie”

I still feel confused? The meeting was for your benefit?…Or a guys night?

Jeeez Mr! No wonder Tam is so confused! I’m STILL confused!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:34pm
154: Dominique says:

Annie – 108 – I feel concerned about the bad man reference. I saw it earlier too.

I don’t think there are bad men just as there are no bad women. There ARE men who are deeply troubled, have not come to a place where they are ready to look at their stuff and begin the healing journey.

They may do or say some awful things, but I don’t think they are not bad.

All are good at heart. Sometimes life beats some of us down too far to have the energy to get up again. This kind of response I believe is a combination of personality (innate) and upbringing (societal influences). The nature/ nurture thing.

xxoo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:35pm
155: MissStix says:

I dunno…I really like your msg Dominique. Very nice!

But I could not stop my brain from saying “Can we exclude child molesters and cold blooded murderers?”.

But I laugh now cause I think that’s a given…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:37pm
156: Dominique says:

Maybe I missed something. If I did, I apologize.

xxoo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:38pm
157: Tam says:

Yeah well, same old, he also said he doesn’t want friction – the usual cop out line. He sees friendships and relationships as potential for friction and he doesn’t want any of it, he would rather stay alone. We have been through this 3 times already, now he is saying because of his impending Europe thing, before it was for other reasons.
I feel sad. He will disappear now, the usual pattern.
That was that with MrP.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:40pm
158: Tam says:

Miss Stix, yeah, I think he was trying to get me a job or business opportunity. I just wish he had told me.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:41pm
159: Miss Bells says:

I am back down in civilization. My beautiful 1993 Mercedes 300e is sitting outside, running like a top.

I sent HS an email stating that I am back in range, and to call if he still wants to talk to me.

I feel a little nervous, but also peaceful. Contacting OW IS a dealbreaker for me. That is my boundary and my truth. Being “friends” feels AWFUL to me and I won’t do it any more. THAT is my boundary and my truth.
I will miss him. But with time I will feel better.
If he steps up he will have his work cut out regaining my trust.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:41pm
160: Miss Bells says:

Now I feel very hungry!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:44pm
161: Dominique says:

MissStix – No I don’t think you can exclude them. They are even more troubled, most of them severely abused themselves.

This doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does give another perspective. I can’t hate them. I can’t hate anyone. I can feel compassion for them. and I can feel just fine keeping them away from where they can inflict harm, eg. prison or an asylum.

xxoo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:47pm
162: MissStix says:

I’m just in a really weird mood today…

I feel…

Fluffy. A little bit of a light texture. White, but not loke clouds. More like a nameless substance not in existance. Smooooth and soft and low density but not transparent or gaseous. Solid. Kind of bouncy rubbery bwoing bwoing but like big huge bounces and I hear the sound…Deeep. And now I see red. But to me red is not “angry” or “furious” or “hot”. Red is receiving and vibrant and welcoming ohhhh Yes. Hello! Aren’t you wonderful? Welcome to my life. I think you’ll find i’m pretty wonderful too! Isn’t that wonderful? And now blue! Wonderful blue. Just so uprising and aaaaawwwwwhhhhhh like angels singing in harmony. You feel dazzling! mmmmm and dazzling burnished gold infused with some kind of chunky iridescent glitter. ohhhhhh he11z yeah. Omg. orgasmic.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:50pm
163: MissStix says:

Tam 157

Ohhhhhh! kay. That makes sense….

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:59pm
164: Dominique says:

MissStix- 161 – Yum.

xxoo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 2:59pm
165: MissStix says:

Tam

And yeah…He is who he is. And only you know if he is right for you. I see you leaning towards not, and I feel happy to read about your abuntant options

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:00pm
166: LiliBee says:

161:

lol Miss Stix,

The 1st thing that came to my mind is the merengue on my mom’s butterscotch pie…You are the yummy pie!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:03pm
167: MissStix says:

ohhhh meringue!

Yum! Lemon meringue is my favourite yummy pie. Gramma’s to be specific…It’s just the best!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:15pm
168: Rori Raye says:

Daria – oops – I didn’t mean to paint “good man/bad man” – I was referring to a good man as one who loves you and stays clear in his intentions toward you – I didn’t mean it to paint his general “character” – so now, perhaps I shouldn’t use those words at all! And thank you for the example I was missing. So now I HAVE heard of this working out for the woman – so, that leaves anything as possible even in my mind.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:15pm
169: CurvySiren10 says:

Thank you for that correction Rori. It means a lot to me personally. I felt very icky reading those original words.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:22pm
170: Femininewoman says:

((((((((((((((((Tam)))))))))))))))))))))))

Tell him English is not your mother tongue and the microscope you were using to read between the lines was feeling so heavy you had to put it down so you feel a little silly for missing the hints

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:41pm
171: MissStix says:

Dear MrP

Please say “Hey Tam, i’m meeting up with some buddies to see about opportunities for you. Wanna tag along?”

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:48pm
172: Femininewoman says:

Nice Starla

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:51pm
173: MissStix says:

Ohhh

I like the poem starla.

And I scrolled up further and I also like “i’m not interested.”

I have been argued with and heard “So what?” so many times to the “I have a boyfriend” line…Maybe it’s a cultural thing, or a regional thing?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:55pm
174: Starla says:

thank you fw and miss stix

i think the not interested thing is really a vibe thing more than a cultural or regional thing. i say it peacefully and without criminalizing them for showing interest in me.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 3:58pm
175: Linda says:

Dominique.. 153… Bingo!

I believe whole heartidly what you wrote ….

I don’t think there are bad men just as there are no bad women. There ARE men who are deeply troubled, have not come to a place where they are ready to look at their stuff and begin the healing journey.

You words have put into alignment some thoughts and feelings inside me. The last man.. my last relationship was with such a man. I loved that last man… but it was the man “under all his layers of stuff” that I loved. I could not live or be with the version of the man he offers. He just has the doors to his true self bolted shut. Once in a while he peeked out but never opened the door. I feel settled inside embracing this emotion in me. I wipe an occasional tear away when I think of him and his unwillingness to begin his healing journey. We would have been awesome together if he had.

Well… with this said I am ready.. to move forward.

hugs to you

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:00pm
176: Linda says:

I will also add… that at times I felt like a failure with him… not good enough etc etc… none of that is true. He simply was not ready or willing to begin his healing journey. It feels freeing and releases my personal blamey voice towards myself.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:02pm
177: MissStix says:

Sorry for confusion I meant the response to “I have a boyfriend”. I recall seeing another post where someone said they back off at “I have a boyfriend”. But I found men argumentative at that.

But I have not been “hit on” since I decided to sink more into my feelings around men. Which is interesting…Because I don’t get looked at or talked to less by strangers. Just in a different way…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:04pm
178: Linda says:

When I read this new thread my first thought was… oh you are failure at this stuff.

No I am going to shift that right now… and say I am trying and working on all of this …. I started my healing journey a long time ago and still moving forward.

Yeah! hugs my self and determination !

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:07pm
179: MissStix says:

hrrrnnmmmm like shoestore-guy….

I know as little as a few weeks ago he would have asked me for my number or what I was doing later and I would have felt awkward and weird and hot and irritated and blown him off. But instead he chatted with me, flirted. And someone he knew came in and asked him how he liked the job and he said “How could I not? I get to talk to beautiful women all day.” and smiled and then said to me “Well I guess maybe I haven’t been working retail long enough if I still feel that way.” and we laughed and just simply parted ways. And it felt REALLY fun and good!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:10pm
180: Linda says:

THe very wording… using the tools… appeals to the masculine.. fix it side of me. YIKES interesting thought. hmmmm

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:14pm
181: Femininewoman says:

Tam maybe he sees them that way because that is what he experienced in his life?? Maybe even from childhood. Even more reason to be the Siren. Leave him be. Drop

the conversation. Get out there cdate to improve sense of sself. See that there are other men out there. Grow opinion of self and shift vibe.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:15pm
182: Annie says:

Ty Daria, Rori and Dominique.

I am wanted to explore my feelings now and soul re bad.

Do I think believe child molesters and me who beat women and children are bad?

mmmm, ponders.
Gosh my heart hurts with this one.

My answer, they are not all bad no as no one person is all good or all bad.

Those actions though abhorrent to me.
Those actions are bad.
And they have free will.
I believe in free will.
Oh gosh can I really say they are not bad.
Well just because they had done good things and are good in other ways some acts are just too heartbreaking and abhorrent for words to me.

Can I have empathy with these men, yes I can put myself is their shoes and see where they are at and see it from their point of view.

With child molesters and pedophiles though they have something missing. They all share the same character flaw. They have no remorse. some feel guilt. But they all lack the ability to see and understand the victims pain, to truly empathies with their victims.
And see and understand the damage they have done.

Are they bad?
I am not able to put my hand on my heart and say they are good men even if they have done some other good things.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:19pm
183: Dominique says:

Annie – I was going to bring this up and opted not to, but since you have I will chime in.

Yes I also believe some, though I would imagine very few, people do have something missing as you put it. I believe these people are born this way, and some maybe manage to compensate if they receive the love and nurture they need. And there are those who do not get this and never manage to make these connections in the brain. And then there is a very tiny percentage of these who even though get all the love and care any child would want and need, still never make the connections and still go on to do things most would find despicable.

I think I understand your feelings of confusion.

xxoo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:31pm
184: Annie says:

Tam it’s hard to see what is happening when we are emotionally in it.
That is why stepping back is good so we can become aware and see th wood from the trees.

As an observer it looked to me if he was offering you friendship not a date.

And I got the impression that you two had only ever had friendship but you were wanting him to step us and to date you become one of your cds.

If you do have any romantic feelings towards him and would like him to ask you out on dates, do you think it is a good idea to stay friends with him?
Hugs.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:33pm
185: Annie says:

Ty Dominique.

I also believe those connections just haven’t happened.
I believe it is more than a brain connection though.

Something else going on as well though
I believe they are disconnected from spirit.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:39pm
186: Annie says:

xx

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:40pm
187: Annie says:

I don’t believe it is very few Dominique.

At least One in three women and one if five boys are victims.

So I believe it is more than we want to open are eyes and ears to.

As the truth would be too heartbreaking to face.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:46pm
188: Dominique says:

Maybe, Annie, maybe. I don’t think stats are all that accurate though, skewed to whatever direction those running the survey are biased. I have to also ask where do those responding to a survey come from, what questions are asked and how for starters.

I have not led a sheltered life, and I am not young, and in all my time here, I have met one child molester and never a murderer. I have met a lot of people. And my eyes are wide open.

xxoo

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:53pm
189: MissStix says:

My grandfather was a convicted pedophile. I never met him…But I know the story too well. And…I find it near excruciating to find compassion for him. The search continues.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:54pm
190: MissStix says:

Sorry I should re-word that. A pedophile and a convicted child molester. 7 kids…That they knew of.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 4:55pm
191: Annie says:

Dominque.

“I have met one child molester ”

One that you know of.

I believe you will have met many and not known as most go unreported.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 5:16pm
192: Annie says:

Stats come from victims reporting and asking for support from help lines.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 5:42pm
193: MissStix says:

I want to change the subject…

No, I feel urges to change the subject. I feel sick in my gut thinking about it. And my heart aches for those little kids. Maybe there is just no room in all those feelings for compassion for the man. All of those feelings go to the children. And I suppose I could give nothing to the man. And they are out there…But I can’t stop them. So…No energy to them. Positive or negative. Just positive energy to the victims. Hmmm maybe there is a way to help victims? Good question. Good idea!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:14pm
194: Miss Bells says:

#75
YES!!
If this is good advice with cheating husband–it must be even better for cheating long term live-in.
I moved out after the first episode. But not all the way.

Then she came back+the Match gals. No real dates–just him trolling.

On Tuesday I left “the note” and moved all my good stuff out while he was gone. Then I went out of cell range.

He called three times. Two of them to protest his innocence because he was alone on Sunday and Monday.

He didn’t mention getting into a jealous rage over Trailer Girl when she came to visit her ex-boyfriend (or IS he ex?) Trailer Man, on Saturday night. Trailer Man is his tenant in the trailer in back.

In fact, he lied right to my face when I said I knew she was back and he was in contact with her.

The note said I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be friends. Among other things.

He also emailed me when he couldn’t reach me by phone. So I emailed back that I was back in phone range. Call if you still want to talk.

Now—except for retrieving the rest of my things, I am really as done as I said in the note.

He will certainly try all the old tricks to get me back. But I have already done this TWICE before.

If he doesn’t go to the moon for me this time I can’t believe him, even if he does start putting attention on me again.

So–for all intents and purposes he really has lost me, and I really am single.

I know I tend to talk about him on the blog and to friends. I am allowing one day for adjustment. Then, by Saturday–I don’t think or talk of him. The thinking will be as much as possible. I am not sure I can eliminate all of it.

I have a car. I will post and attend meet-ups, and do whatever appeals at a given moment.

I will read mystery novels.

I will clean my closets. And write my darned book.

I am sitting in my turret with about two thirds of my worldly goods around me.

I will sort my stuff out and put it away.

This too shall pass.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:36pm
195: Miss Bells says:

#188
I spent part of my life in pretty tough places.
I have known more than one murderer. And I’m sure I have met one or two that didn’t say.
Also–men who have killed though it wasn’t murder.
Men who killed plenty in combat….
As for child molesters–don’t kid yourself. Most get away with it, and they ain’t talking.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:43pm
196: Emerson says:

104 me too tam
I haven’t given up.
I’d like to f

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:49pm
197: Emerson says:

Oopsies
Hit the button. I’m on my phone!
I’d like to find a relationship that feels cozy and fun.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:50pm
198: Emerson says:

194 & 195 ((((miss bells))))

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 6:58pm
199: Emerson says:

I come to this blog and feel thankful that I am reminded to start new things rather that recycle the past (aka recycledCD)…
I feel tempted to reach out to him but I feel it’s not my best option. He’s unavailable and I need to accept that. He even told me once that his ex wife met a guy on match and that I should try it too. Thinking of that makes me sick.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:00pm
200: Emerson says:

I feel at odds with my family and betrayed by some things that happened over the summer. It feels bad to feel this way. I am furious with my siblings still over something they his from me. I don’t keep secrets from them about family stuff and believe me they always make sure they know the scoop. Then left me out of the loop. Im still mad.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:03pm
201: babysteps says:

“Backing Away Is Meaningless – It’s Your VIBE That Counts”

“He can smell fear, he can smell it when a woman puts him at the center of her life – he can feel the pressure.

Backing away in itself is meaningless.”

I am still struggling with the vibes, from sending out needy vibes and from sending out vibes of pain and being lost….

How DO we love our terror?

i am stupid, i feel dumb that i am not getting even a tiny glimpse of understanding on how to….

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:08pm
202: Tam says:

Thank you Miss Stix, FW and also Annie.

Annie, we never had a straighforward friendship, there was always more in the mix because we are attracted to each other and it has always been him who initiated it. We had an imaginary relationship for 6 months and since then it has been on/off. The only reason why we are not physical is because I told him that I don’t want to have sex with someone who is not my boyfriend. And he has told many times that he is a loner, hermit and worried that he won’t be able to have a relationship. It is heartbreaking but I have accepted it. And I am on my horse.

I also know that he has been trying to find a way for me to stay here and that this has been first and foremost on his mind, hence this ‘meeting’ had somehow something to do with it but he won’t ever reveal anything much. Sadly.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:12pm
203: LiliBee says:

Zumba completely depleted my physical batteries tonight.
My whole body feels limp and lifeless.
I felt my hips loose and flexible during the last 2 classes.
But tonight, they were back to feeling stiff.
I feel the stiffness in the entire pelvic area.
I wonder what’s up with that.
Must be stuck energy in that area.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:12pm
204: babysteps says:

i feel like a faker, someone pretending to be who she isn’t. i am leaning back physically but my vibes are all over the place, i don’t feel i’ve gotten one bit better. i tell myself and everyone that i’ve made it to Week 1… but have i really grown ?

am i deceiving myself as well everyone here? cos my heart isn’t willing to let go… and i do not want to lean back at all…. not one bit…

i am faking the leaning…..

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:16pm
205: LiliBee says:

204:

Hi babysteps,

I know that feeling.
Modern Siren or the Heart Connection toolkit of Rori’s really helped me feel less ‘lost’ with all this new learning.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:23pm
206: Brandylion says:

So the guy who was so hot to trot last weekend and didn’t ever get back to me with a place to meet me for Sunday texted me tonight. I haven’t heard from him since Saturday afternoon. Here’s the exchange:

TD: Hey brandylion

Me: Hi TD.

TD: Brandylion can you please talk to me? At least give me a chance to see you and see if we are connected I like u and very much interested

Me: I thought we were going to meet last Sunday and I felt very confused when I didn’t hear a firm plan with a place to meet.

Me: I am not free again until next weekend.

TD: Well sweetie takes both to make it happen

Me: Oh, you’re so funny! I don’t chase men. I feel turned off planning dates.

Me: I don’t feel interested in men who don’t take the lead. I feel bored with them.

TD: Well are u seriously interested in me? All I am asking you when are u free so I can do the planning

Me: I am not free until next weekend. I am out of town for a race this weekend, and I can’t squeeze dates into school nights.

TD: Ok

I feel pretty turned off by the pleading tone at the start. I haven’t been ignoring his texts or calls–there haven’t been any since his last one on Saturday when he said “Cool” when I said we could meet for an early dinner on Sunday.

I feel angry at the condescension/patronization in “Well sweetie takes both to make it happen”. Am I misreading that? This is the second time he’s called me sweetie, and I really hate pet names in general, but especially from strangers. They imply a level of familiarity and intimacy that isn’t warranted, and I feel really uncomfortable. Do I tell him that, or just tolerate it as an “arrow of love” that he’s giving me?

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:41pm
207: Daria says:

Tummy churning me up. Well all the stretching will shift and heal my 1st chakra… Till I can walk they walls even with or without a body. And even iron loves me and serves me.

All this sadness ocean. I’m feeling that huge water movement side to side feeling.

It feels ‘too much’ for a little human. I want to play and feel good. Is there a way to do all this doing that?

Or is this ‘craving to touch my most deepest parts, to feel profound’ & joy?

I feel confused and sad.

Dragged along on the horse laying down.

‘I just want it to be over’

I just want it to be fun.

Sneeze bless you.

Sneezing from the inside triggers.

I want my mommi to take care of me.

I feel fara vlaga. Soft, back boneless, tummy turning.

I want to feel taken care of.

I don’t want to make the effort.

I don’t want to make an effort.

I feel icky, uncomfortable. It feels better to lie here.

And die.

Sigh.

I know. It was another life.

I honor this. I give myself permission to transform and heal this.

((((((Daria))))))

Choices of where to be, in what world. Infinite choices.

If I choose happy. It’s ok. Ok I choose happy.

I feel sad and disappointed to be choosing happy.

I heAr you. I’m here for you always.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:43pm
208: Daria says:

Wow this is great for me:

‘I don’t feel interested in men who don’t take the lead. I feel bored with them.’

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:47pm
209: Daria says:

Though for me the truth migh be, I feel annoyed and insecure with them. And I don’t want to feel that way.

A confident woman feels bored w them. Well I do too actually a bit. I feel bored w men who don’t put in effort. Ha.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:49pm
210: Daria says:

I feel truggered, icky at ‘it takes both’

Rather than sweetie. I feel turned off before w sweeten and honey, I’m ok w sweetie now some, honey still feels icky.

It gives me a creepy porno vibe from a guy. Ew.

Some women don’t feel triggers by that vibe tho but to me it feels so Ew.

Am I being culture/background phobic? Hmmm

I think so, but that vibe thing may not even be in the word. I may have just encountered in correlated that’s all

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:53pm
211: Daria says:

It’s ok to seek out triggers for joy.

Yes it always is, even if it gets me out of deep sadness. I will continue healing .

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:57pm
212: luzydel says:

This is why I don’t like asking how to say/write a feeling message here; because it doesn’t feel authentic and it feels like having a hidden agenda e.g manipulation. (this just how I feel about it though)

I rather don’t say anything and leave or just say what ever I am feeling in the moment, if the man runs away then he doesn’t get me. I have said weird, “bad” things to men and some of them did not run away. So being authentic for me is the way to go even if I screw up.

The RIGHT man will stay…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:58pm
213: Daria says:

I’m being held by me .

Yawwn

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 7:58pm
214: MissStix says:

((((babysteps)))))

Just keep swimming. And believe it…You will get there!

Faking it is a part of making it…It is practice, and learning. No one expects you to just do anything at the snap of fingers.New hurdles and obstacles will keep popping up for the rest of your life but you will be more and more aware and healing will come exponentially faster and more free. <3

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:04pm
215: luzydel says:

Someone has been checking me out and I just realized today. I went to the vending machine to get some chips at work and behing me was this man waiting, I felt his eyes on me, so I turned and smiled…he said wow I am surprised you didn’t get your M&M’s today…hmmm?

I usually go get my peanuts M&M’s but today I got chips lol weird, first time I notice the man ( a bit older but very handsome)

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:05pm
216: Daria says:

Where an I often complaining to someone about my experience w them or complaining outward about my community?

I complain in my head

But to someone’s face?

Is it a subtle thing?

I feel so much anger im stepping on

I feel so angry being complained about to.

Ouch.

Thigh tingle

Is this my complaining?

I feel EXTREMELY triggered and am stuffing.

Thank you do much for this opportunity!

I see where I stuff this in r l.

And it feels so good to have expressed a bit.

I still feel a lot if anger.

I felt my heart drop and my tummy get grabbed.

I feel like punching someone for triggering me to feel this way.

Wow

I don’t want to be told I’m not good enough.

I feel very angry.

Hmmm

I want to be spoken to w appreciation.

Pinches! I love you.

Sleepy

I love you.

Tight tingles. Anger.

Oh

No ones fault

This is so cool! I get to heal by noticing and practicing on blog stuff that feels So triggering… I might not catch or change in real life

Wooh
I don’t feel mad at anyone.

I feel celebratory.

My thigh is tight and Pinchy feeling.

My tummy feels tight.

I love these feelings.i love my anger!

Hehehe

I love my joy and giggles.

Ugh

I love my grunts.

Hehe.

I feel tickled.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:12pm
217: MissStix says:

Hmmmm

It’s not about getting anyone to do anything. It’s about actually being capable of expressing myself. Good and happy outcomes for all involved are yummy! Negative outcomes are felt and reflected upon. How can I deal with my own self better next time? And yeah, conversing. yea my new word. It is no longer talking it is conversing. Because I feel gross when I talk “at” someone. I just won’t. ewwww. Used to be lucky if I would talk at all. Just internalizing everything and feeling so angry and hateful and bitter. Mostly of myself. Looking back now…Now I can just say out loud “I feel annoyed” or “I feel so happy”. It’s nice! I actually shudder a little to think I would be with a man I could manipulate. No thanks. I just want a man who wants to hear me, sees me, works with me. I do want effort, but I give effort in so many ways. Not too much to ask for. Nope.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:16pm
218: luzydel says:

hmmm … Maybe there are lots of handsome men checking me out and I don’t notice them because I’m chasing men who don’t really want me…

I need to empty my horse carriage of men that don’t want me and fill it with yummy handsome men who notice my taste in M&M’s and my dimples and the fact that I left my hair curly … I like when I random man says wow “you have an amazing smile”, or said “cute dimples” or any nice compliment…I feel shy and blushing, because I feel guilty of receiving compliments; like if I say thank you I must be vain and If I believe them I must think I am “all that” and I feel ‘cocky’… but maybe I am all that… especially for the men I did not notice before, but are showing up everywhere… mmm…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:26pm
219: babysteps says:

LiliBee and Miss Stix,

thanks.. i guess we fake it until we make it… but that’s to others. i don’t feel right faking to myself and to the Sirens.

One step forward and 2 steps back LoL

I am looking forward to the weekend by myself though…

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 8:52pm
220: Emerson says:

215 aw luzydel that sounds intriguing !!

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:04pm
221: Emerson says:

I started a new job and it’s really stressful. I’ve been trying to clarify what I see for my future … Do I want to move? I dont know. Yes but no.

I feel time slipping and I know it’s just an illusion …. I insist on enjoying each day.

I feel most valued/accepted by my family when I am “providing ” for myself and not needing help. It feels awful. I feel guilt when I’ve asked for help.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:50pm
222: Emerson says:

Why do I feel low status and terrible when someone is helping me? I feel I don’t deserve it.
I’ve been dreaming of dark meadows and paths. I walk through them or sometimes I’m on a horse but I’m not scared. The paths look very halloweenish… Dark and drippy…like a Disney scene. I know what’s around the corners. I’ve been on these paths many times in my dreams. I wonder why? There is a clearing and a fence and hats the turning point. Next time I’m “there”, I will look around a bit more closely. Maybe there is a message.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:54pm
223: Emerson says:

*thats the turning point not”hats”

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:56pm
224: Emerson says:

It sometimes reminds me of where i used to ride as child in Europe

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 9:58pm
225: Butterfly wings says:

Babysteps, the best thing you can do from now is to find ways to shift your focus so it’s off him.

Is there something you can do that will require your focus, even for a few minutes? Then gradually build up the time. Find something else that requires a little more focus, then more again, and so on.

This is a learning process and nobody (except you it seems!) expects you to get this right first time.

You’re doing great and this WILL get easier!

xxx

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:37pm
226: Butterfly wings says:

It was TH’s birthday yesterday. I didn’t buy him anything (which I feel bad about) but I did give him “me”!

What a lucky man he is! lol

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 10:39pm
227: babysteps says:

Butterfly Wings, thanks.

I have been focusing on small tasks and also doing things for myself. Simple things like giving myself a good scrub etc. My conscious focus is not on him 24/7, he just flitters in and out of my mind… mostly more often than I like. I haven’t been able to take my focus off for a full day.

Babysteps can’t vouch for her subconscious mind cos of the feeling in my heart.. which makes me suspect that I am “thinking” but not fully aware.

I feel impatient, impatient that I am such a slow learner. All I need to do is to focus on myself, love myself, lean back and give up control of the future. It’s really THAT simple.

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:42pm
228: Tereana says:

Lillibee – re your hips – you could try belly dance : ) and I don’t mean Zumba belly dance. That’s great. I mean real belly dance. That will get your hips loose! But it’s not as easy as it looks….

Thursday, 4 October 2012 @ 11:58pm
229: Tereana says:

Alright. I know this topic is boring to y’all by now, but I’m going to use the blog for it anyway…

I’m giving things a few days before I contact vman again. If I do. I’ve initiated a couple of convos recently, so I think it’s a good time to back off. Even though I’ve got good things to say. I can wait. He’ll contact me. He always has and he always does.

I like the feeling of being able to trust that someone will be there. It feels nice. Like warm fudge. Solid and sweet. I am having fun practicing with this feeling. It feels better than trying to reach out and “do” something. That actually feels like “running away,” oddly enough….

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:07am
230: babysteps says:

Tereana, it is never boring. I mostly don’t comment cos i don’t feel comfortable saying anything, esp since i’m a new to Rori and struggling myself…

if there was a like button or a hugs button, you will see my name on it ^_^

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:26am
231: babysteps says:

Tereana, it is never boring. I mostly don’t comment cos i don’t feel comfortable saying anything, esp since i’m a new to Rori and struggling myself…

if there was a like button or a hugs button, you will see my name on it ^_^

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:26am
232: Tam says:

Why do I have to CD? Because the man who has feelings for me and would move heaven and earth to help me in my life, has told me in roundabout terms that he is afraid of relationships and doesn’t think he can do it.
So I CD and focus on me and spend all my time with men that don’t interest me, or bother me with clingyness, in the name of learning and growing.
Why does it have to be like this?
That;s not what I signed up for.
I signed up for meeting someone who loves me as much as I love them and being able to have a relationship. I didn’t sign up just for the first half of that sentence, or just for the second half.
I feel so frustrated because I am having dinner dates with guys and want to stay happy and open and all the while I’d rather hang out with someone else. Someone who has the same interests as me, the same level intelligence, who doesn’t engulf me and it feels good.
Ok, got to get back on my horse…
I don’t want the ‘relationship I want’ with a man I don’t want – I want both. I don’t understand why this has been so elusive in the last 4 years. I feel soo impatient.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:20am
233: Daria says:

Hi tummy turning sick and sad feeling.

I love you!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:20am
234: Daria says:

Uh oh I feel truggered w self doubt.

I’m wondering if — I’m not addicted to attention

That I enjoy CDing so much. I feel myself sinking in sensuality as soon as I see a man on a CD for me. Ive gotten an anchor trigger that date — equal pleasure, relaxation,

Writing this I know I cannot be addicted to attention, cuc there’s no such thing . It was just an old control judging paradigm, about stoic ness . Yay. No more,

I feel a lil sad not gearing from No Name CD. I feel a lil guilty.

I feel a lil relieved.

I feel a lil shame. I feel defensive. I love my feelings.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:29am
235: Daria says:

I feel a lil panicked when I read about others not enjoying CDing.

I feel all frenzied and want to jump in and ‘help’ them / control them ?

The tummy turns I have thinking just about scheduling my time here… I feel ugh. It’s an awful feeling like that one when you’re about to go on trial. What is up w that. I felt it again, hot in my tummy.

Ohh I feel so uncomfortable feeling this way.

I love my feelings.

Am I getting confortable s these triggering feelings?

Is that what’s going on?

Do I have cancer?

Or did somebody die?

I love my questions.

I’m healing. I choose to be healing.

I feel a little down.

I feel all tingly.

I love all my feelings.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:36am
236: Heart says:

hi Sirens – online for a little while -yay!
scrolling up and about…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:40am
237: Tam says:

I enjoy CDing sometimes, but it doesn’t feel good to be obsessed about by those men I don’t like.
I don’t want to have to turn my phone off in order to work. I don’t want to be engulfed and seen as a ‘gf’after the first date.
It feels yucky.

I believe that MrP can do relationship, as long as we call it something else, like ‘pizza’ or ‘icecream’. He can even do marriage, if we call it ‘for the papers’. It’s like a silly game.
I don’t want pizza or a marriage for papers though. I want the real deal.
And I don’t want to be Mummy, who has left him and gets tested now whether she really loves him. My Psych friend says he behaves like an adopted child, who will rebel and push/pull to see if his new parents still love him afterwards. The talk about other women, the ‘put-downs’ etc. ‘oh and she is still there’. She is still there, open and staying curious but on borrowed time.
When he realised I had a boyfriend he stepped up. ‘oh she might not be there anymore soon’.
Stepping up for fear of losing someone…is only temporary. I feel scared.
I don’t need to feel scared, he is not making any plans to see me. Ok. I feel better.
I don’t need to think about this.
I have a dinner date. And another one maybe tomorrow…and maybe a lunch date on Sunday and maybe a party Sunday night.
All the glitzy restaurants and parties, and I just want to get scruffy and dirty on a boat and rip off my fingernails, get bad hair and sunburnt and laugh genuinely.
Oh man, I feel so sad.
It’s like I have to go to work when I should be having fun

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:42am
238: Tam says:

Solution number 1: find another fwb (friend with boat). Make an advert on craigslist for an activity partner.
That takes care of my outdoor little girl.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:47am
239: Tam says:

Hello Heart, so nice to see you

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:50am
240: Goddess Lily says:

Tam,

Is this the same guy that invited you out and didn’t come get you? I know you said you misunderstood his invite but I feel confused. I need to go back and reread the story of Tam.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:55am
241: Daria says:

Hmm why don’t I connect icky dating experiences with ‘CDing’ in general ?

Oh ok cux I see how I grow and am challenged. Saying I feel uncomfortable with so much contact, I don’t want to receive many texts and calls right now.’. Feels scary and I know I’m growing taking these steps. And That feels exhilarating and exciting.

Yay me.

So what am I going thru now, when I haven’t been pitying myself out there to meet men. Hmmm

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:55am
242: Tam says:

Goddess Lily, it is confusing. I feel confused also.
I choose today to take my mind away from the confusion and onto the concrete things in front of me.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:57am
243: Femininewoman says:

Good choice Tam

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:59am
244: Tam says:

Ok, so let’s flip.
I feel flattered to be a magnet for all these men.
I don’t want a text every two minutes so I turn off the phone.
It feels good to have an abundance of dinner invitations, which means I don’t have to go shopping so much and I have company.
hehe.
Better already.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:59am
245: Tam says:

Thank you FW
I feel love coming at me from a lot of sources, not always the way I want it to look but love nevertheless. I see this as a positive and as abundance, not as ‘lack of’…
Yeah!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:01am
246: Heart says:

I met with AwwrCd (laundrymat guy) this week and we had a really cute coffee & snack date…And he was a total gentlemen and he held stuff for me, got me some etc (and he paid)…But he’s younger than me by a couple of years!…Hmmm…Oh well I’m experiencing and exploring.

Daria – I am enjoying CDing!…SO FAR

Also, I realized I don’t have a problem contributing to the bill with CuddleyGrinch…CudG actually makes me feel really cared for when we’re out. He is in grad school and can’t afford to pay for everything but CudG has spent more money on me that my other ( not that it lessens the others but it’s just something to take into consideration when unfairly judging him) CDs even though he doesn’t pay for it all since we go to nicer places – and there is a more romantic vibe. Also, he puts effort into planning the date.

SO I appreciate CudG for making me feel cared for..
in that sense

And I appreciate AwwrCd for making me feel cared for too.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:06am
247: Goddess Lily says:

Impressive flip Tam. You may still be surprised by one of the ones you’re dating in the interim. They might turn out to be better than MrP.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:07am
248: Goddess Lily says:

You literally have all the arrows Rori talks about coming at you right now. You’re living the program.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:09am
249: Vi says:

I notice I feel a little tension in the right side of the body when I’m around mom. I also expected I’d feel defensive and pist with her but I don’t.. I feel surprized.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:12am
250: Daria says:

I’m not getting enuf B vitamins — big sadness. Dread

Not Enuf protein – tired weak

Not enuf omega 3 fish – dry brain. Confusion dizzy.

Eat Processed oils – racing thoughts, anxiousness

Antibiotic and unhappy animals – ‘dumpy’ feeling

I love All my feelings.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:13am
251: Ulii says:

Ok. So, somebody who has hurt me is sending me a mail “Miss you.”

I cut contact with him 2 weeks ago, as chit-chatting with him got me to a bad place emotionally.

Actually I feel all heavy and bad receiving this kind of little mail. I do miss him too. But he has a long distance girlfriend and he was not breaking up with her to be with me or stepping up any other way.

The last thing I said was, I feel open to have contact with him again when he’s single. But he’s not saying anything about that. Hm..

He has not asked me anything. So.. I guess I´m not saying anything. Still, doesn´t feel good.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:15am
252: Emerson says:

I feel invisible and I feel self conscious like maybe I’m not interesting enough
I feel shame to admit this

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:17am
253: Tam says:

Thank you Goddess Lily

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:18am
254: Goddess Lily says:

I see you Emerson!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:20am
255: Heart says:

Babysteps – I feel Mermaid-like and earthy and airy and centered and soothed when I practice the tools.
I feel so into myself…and softer and more authentic.
I fear you might be approaching this in a mechanical sort of way…I feel compassion. We can all fall into that trap.
I sometimes feel fake too…I will try to explore that fakeness the next time it comes up.

Sometimes just doing the Tools puts you in automatic lean back mode for most of the time.
Also spending time in nature really helps…taking hot baths, meditating…If you’re feeling fake maybe you should spend more time connecting with your Feminine self.
I have moments when I feel more real and when I feel fake too.
I suppose it’s all growing pains.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:22am
256: Goddess Lily says:

My ex (profCD) keeps saying he misses me. I couldn’t come up with an appropriate feeling message other than it feels good to be missed. But he caught on to the fact that I wasn’t reciprocating the feeling. I don’t really miss him but I don’t want to say that. What do I say?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:23am
257: Daria says:

I’m wetting a big batch of seaweed that will heal all this depression. Yum!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:24am
258: Heart says:

3239 – Hi Tam

BigCD SOUNDS obsessed!
Ruuuuun …lol
but really Give him a little chance…maybe he showed up to teach you how to receive affection…?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:25am
259: Linda says:

206… I like very much the words and strength of boundries stated in that text exhange.

I am currently dealing with a seeming flock of men that FEEL like “hobby daters”. I feel bored and uninterested.

One has said for two weeks he wants to meet me when we talk even mentioned he was thinking Friday(which would be tonight) on Monday evening when we talked last. Have not heard a thing from him since. pfffft (he is the only one that I have spoken to lately I would have any interest in meeting actually). now… well I actually feel irritated at him. I told him in our last conversation that last minute, tenative type plans dont work for me. If he is like this my impression here is not favorable.

I have another man who wrote a great email and when I responded he asked if we could me and wanted me to pick the place that I would feel comfortable with. I remember something the Evan Mark Katz said about this from a mans point of view… so even though I want a man to plan and row and put it together…. I. and picked the place and asked what do you think? He wrote back and said it would have to be next week cause he was out of town this week end going to a race.. Said he would contact me Monday …. ok we will see. I will hold him to his word.

Now ladies… I take men at their word and hold them accountable to them. Is that wrong? Is that not a reflection of character to you?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:26am
260: Daria says:

I got accused of waning to ‘control ‘ the family. And I wonder if that comes up in my vibe w my godsons mom and dad too when I took them on as family .

Hmm
Maybe my thoughts of wanting desperately to ‘help’ come out as ‘control’ under my awareness.

I feel scared of this. I want to heal this.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:28am
261: Tam says:

258, Heart, yes, I have my alarm bells…it’s more possession than affection. He told me that as soon as we started interacting on the internet, he stopped his search for anybody else….and he is expecting me to do the same so it seems, just some things he said…why would I? I am not even attracted to him, so why should I stop CDing? Total nonsense…he is super jealous already. After 2 dates. It feels yucky.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:28am
262: Heart says:

Also – I have heard from CudG in 10 days…

I feel ok.
I miss him.
I feel bad for not going on the last date.
I feel good for not going on the last date…
I feel confused by the pulling-away-again-and-so-soon-after-the-first-pull-away
I feel hopeful with regards to the future
I feel a little hopeless….
I feel oceanic…

I feel curious about the ebb and flow in my chest…
I feel happy to know that these are just emotions and they do not run me…
I feel bored…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:30am
263: Daria says:

I feel hungry!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:30am
264: Heart says:

#261 TAM – wow maybe BigCd is a lesson to all of us…on how yucky it feels for men when women start having expectations and making demands too soon…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:31am
265: Tam says:

exactly what I was thinking Heart…admittedly I am also a woman who does not need her man to send 10 txt messages and call 3 times a day.
I have a life.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:34am
266: Daria says:

I feel overwhelmed to feed mysef properly waaaah I feel sad and angry and anxious

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:34am
267: Heart says:

(((Emers)))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:34am
268: Heart says:

#265 – Tam – fm?

Dear bigCd,
I like hearing from you but I feel over-
welmed by too much attention. I want to take things slow. What do you think?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:37am
269: Ulii says:

(((((Emerson)))))

Not invisible at all! I always smile when I see your name and your shoe.

Feeling similar feelings towards my family too.

I’m in a stressful situation of no job & looking. And away from my family to not deal with their judgement too much. I judge myself though….

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:38am
270: Daria says:

Soon as I start cooking I feel happy

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:39am
271: Heart says:

#262 I Haven’t heard….not I have,,,

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:39am
272: Tam says:

268 Thanks Heart..I kind of tried that and got a ‘I am offended’ vibe.
But I don’t care too much.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:40am
273: Annie says:

http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/get-real-romance-by-not-being-his-friend/

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:46am
274: Silver Moonbeam says:

Hello Sirens

I am drawn to being here on the island as I have actually started dating!! Yes me!! I have flown my safe and secure little next and decided to venture out again now I am settled down.

I had a date on Wednesday night, very nice man but only left his “wife” (which is what he still called her, not his ex) in May far too soon and he has young children and is going through a custody battle, far too much drama for me. I tried my hardest to remember the RR stuff but when I was doing my lean back he thought I was frightened of him (!!) and I had done the whole thing of letting him choose where to meet, where to go etc and he remarked that I should choose things myself which made me feel a bit dumb TBH. Another Siren has said it is probably because I was “different” to most women in that I am using Siren ways…….

I had another man phone me last night but I was on the phone to my gf (the one with big man drama’s I wrote about, when something is too good to be true, it usually is) anyway he texted me this morning so I thought I need to get on here today and start re-learning the things I have forgotten.

I have missed you all. xxx

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:56am
275: Tam says:

ooh cringe, this resonates:

‘Do you see where she mentions that he’s “shared personal information with her that no one else knows”? And his “trust issues”? This is one of the most common mistakes most of us women have made at least once. We think that being a man’s “friend” through the hard times will cement the relationship and turn it to passion and love in the future.’

eeeek….

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:57am
276: Daria says:

My brain feels like I poured soothing goo on. Mmmm. Thank you omega 3 butter. Mmmm it tastes soooo good I eat plain butter it’s sweet and I can taste the healing. And thank you egg yum . And thank you seaweed.

I’m feeling happy I feel like dancing!

And last nite I talked to my amygdala and said what if you could feel better what if you felt good… And she heard me and my scary thoughts stopped right away.

((((((Amygdala))))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:57am
277: Silver Moonbeam says:

I wish there was a like button on here like Facebook.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:58am
278: Femininewoman says:

Yayy SMB

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:01am
279: MissStix says:

babysteps

We all have our own pace it’s been over 2 years now for me since finding rori after my separation. I didn’t really get it for a long time. ESPECIALLY the loving your feelings part. I mostly wrote that off for a long time cause I didn’t get it and I had not been on tge blog yet. Loving my feelings like JUST came within the past couple months.

Does not matter if we are slow learners or fast. As long as we are learning.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:04am
280: Daria says:

What a huge difference . For real. No more big sadness.

Now I want to go out.

My plan is to vacuum, then do stretchy movements.

Awww

Yes this is our experiment. We also feel excited about it.

Ohhhh I feel surges of Joy!!!! Thank you thank you thank you for these lovely chemicals helping my brain feel good!

Why am I such a shaman !

Why am I sooo amazing and powerful.

It feels like one life is not enough to contain this mystery depth amazingness and power.

Maybe I can shift that .

Fear.

Heart squeezes.

Hhhhmmmgh

I love my feelings

Mhhh

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:06am
281: MissStix says:

and pardon me for seemingly repeating myself lol it’s 5 am.

I’m up from reflux icky ewwws and ouch.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:06am
282: Heart says:

Silver moonbeam – I feel curious
Where you afraid of him?
Seems to once again reiterate the sentiments of the main article…

Leaning back, backing away etc doesn’t work if it’s a strategy or trick…it really is about changing your vibe…maybe he sensed your fear?…your fear of leaning forward…your fear of scaring him away?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:09am
283: Silver Moonbeam says:

No Heart, I wasn’t afraid of him at all, I am a pretty confident person. And I wasn’t worried about scaring him away either as I have my dazzling personality to keep them interested lol!!

Seriously I was quite taken aback that he thought I was frightened……

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:12am
284: Annie says:

261: Tam

Oh Gosh Tam that feels yucky to me.

I had that with a man who took me out once.
I had been at social occasions for a few months and danced and chatted with him.
Then he asked me out on a date.
It was a fairly fun date an by me leaning back and using feeling messages, he opened up loads and was completely himself.
Running women down, making derogatory remarks about them being masculine, rough looking and being scared how they might pounce on him.
A right eye opener.

After this we just met at dance social occasions and he was ‘planning’ another date wanting to get to know each other better, which I surprisingly, still felt open to. to see what the message was with him.
But then at the end of the night and we were not even on a date just at group social event and ‘not in a relationship’ another man who I have dances with and is an acquaintance was just chatting to me and he walked behind him and pushed him looking daggers at me.
I felt freaked out and turned off and scared.
I may have liked it a little if I really was his woman but this was different. Not sure I would have liked it in my imagination anyway.

Any way after this the following week when we were dancing again at social even he starts rubbing his hands up and down my back at public event as if we were lovers and together, which we were not.
And I felt myself freeze. No flight or fight or expressing in a healthy way I feel sad to say.
Just freeze.
And from that moment I believe we both just new something was off.
As after that he backed off as did I and I gave no eye contact, avoided and no welcoming smiles as an invitation and he backed off.
Whew, I felt relieved.
Although do wonder if I will get that one back as I never expressed my truth with that one and let my body language do the talking.

Still feel a bit creeped out, shudders, if I think about it, so my guess is I haven’t healed with that one and it will turn up again.

Actually deep down I know it will and he triggered me.
I am now able to consciously know that I was scared of offending him by speaking my truth as I was subconsciously scared of what had happened when he pushed another man who was talking to me.

I believe he was indirectly threatening me by pushing him and giving me a dirty look.

Gosh! I have managed to tell other men who touch me in a way that is crossing my boundary that I don’t like it and won’t tolerate that. But obviously am not able if I am scared of them as I freeze.
That makes me feel sad.
As I know that if I were in a truly helpless place such as being a hostage or like that would most likely be my best chance of survival.
But this wasn’t the case we were in public and I wasn’t helpless.

T

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:12am
285: Heart says:

#283 Silver – I feel smily after reading your response..:)
Kay…Guess I was off in my interpretation then…glad to be wrong..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:14am
286: Daria says:

Big sadness replaced my big happiness. I feel sooo happy. Giggling and so smiling, excited about vacuuming which I Love ! Yaaayyyyyyy

Heheeee

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:14am
287: Daria says:

Ohhh Aaand… I notice I have an excellent assimilation. As soon as I eat , shifts occur. Oh rolling my eyes back feeling teary

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:16am
288: Tam says:

Annie..eeek!!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:19am
289: MissStix says:

Silver moonbeam

I feel curious too…

Were you leaning back, or pulling back?

And hmmm…I wonder if anyone else practices this or is aware of the difference cause i’m having a hard time describing it this early. It too is all about vibe and I could see how a “pull back” could be seen as “frightened”.

Can anyone help me describe this to SMB?

Lean back-relaxed, breathing, shoulders rotated back and down, chin a little down. Vibe is? Like…mmmmm ahhh I feel very aware and juicy.

Pull back-tense, shoulders up (i noticed for me personally one shoulder goes farther back than the other), kind of feels a little ohhh and woah gotta “lean back” now but really can feel it’s pulling not leaning.

Meh. That’s the best I can do!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:28am
290: MissStix says:

I went to the mirror and I imagined the man I love coming towards me with a kiss…Bam! Auto lean back.

Then I imagined a man i’m not so comfy with coming towards me with a kiss…Auto pull back. I saw and felt very aware of the difference! The shift…The opposite energy. The “ahhhh mmmm” and then the opposing “woah there!”.

Practice practice!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:33am
291: Heart says:

Silver moonbeam- oh he could have just been a feminine energy man?

But really leaning back on dates REALLY helps in making me feel cared for…Nearly all the men I’ve dated eagerly filled the space…I think you’re story sounds a little strange…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:34am
292: Heart says:

Miss Bells – Very brave! Good luck!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:34am
293: Heart says:

your story not you’re….lol

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:40am
294: LiliBee says:

Silver Moonbeam!
I feel so happy to see you!
I missed you!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:42am
295: Femininewoman says:

The only way to see if this man can switch from friendship to romance is to emotionally walk away. Tell him he’s right about the “friends” thing. Agree with him. Step away completely. That means no talking, no lunch, no dinner because you have to DATE OTHER MEN and you don’t have so much time in your life for a male friend.

The scary part about this is to realize that he can’t, is not ready or is not willing.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:55am
296: Tam says:

I feel happy and excited…I made 2 adverts on craigslist, one to offer language lessons, and one to look for activities partners to go boating.
I love the possibilities for my life.
I don’t need to wait for anybody or anything…I can go and be pro-active

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:55am
297: Goddess Lily says:

What language Tam?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:57am
298: Tam says:

295, yes FW, that is the scary part indeed.
Or to see him fight with himself to overcome the fear, only to run again. Feels sad and a little hopeless.
Oh well, onwards and upwards
We are humans and we are all different. The key is acceptance and not trying to change people but take what they are willing to give, and stay aware that people come in and out of one’s life for a reason.
There is no ‘flogging a dead horse’, or ‘leading a horse to water’.
There is understanding, compassion and moving away when it’s the healthiest thing for us to do. Not easy but the only way.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:59am
299: MissStix says:

FW 295

love!

I also think if a man really is just a friend in our own mind there is very little contact.

I only see/contact/get contacted by male friends a few times a year.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:00am
300: Tam says:

I don’t want to say Goddess Lily, as I am afraid to be totally unanonymous then….are you on Siren Island?
It’s a European language anyway
One of the biggest countries..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:01am
301: Tam says:

hmm..what if a man asks you specifically for advice and you want to help him but not destroy the romantic vibe and turn it into a ‘friends vibe’.
How does one do that?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:04am
302: Tam says:

299 – Miss Stix this is true both ways.
My male friends keep in contact, but like once every 6 months…it’s only those that are romantically interested that keep in close (daily, weekly) contact, or at least that’s how it feels to me

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:06am
303: Silver Moonbeam says:

Thanks Sirens, great replies as always and much food for thought!!

Hello to all me old Siren mates from dear old Blighty!! ^^^^^ waves

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:15am
304: Femininewoman says:

RE 301 – Tam I am learning to ask myself why would I do that? Why do I want to give a man advice about his life? Does that make me feel powerful?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:16am
305: Annie says:

Tam says “it’s more possession than affection. ”

I feel in agreement.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:17am
306: Femininewoman says:

Well – what if “bitch” is just what happens when we stuff down our FEMININE energy? What if it has nothing to do with acting like a man at all? What if “bitch” is just our screaming Feminine using “bitchy” WORDS?

Why “bitches” seem to get more attention from men than “nice girls,” and even when a woman gets labeled a “bitch” she also seems to get a bit of RESPECT from a man, is because, at least, the REAL Feminine is COMING OUT.

It may not be pretty, it may not feel good to him, but he GETS that it’s REAL FEELING.

We’ve all learned to be so careful, we’ve almost made it impossible for a man to see who we really are. We’ve almost made it impossible to be “Imperfect,” and so it’s hard for a man to feel HE can be Imperfect AROUND us. It’s a pretty complex system, and we HAVE TO TEAR THAT SYSTEM DOWN!

Being “bitchy” is just not knowing the words to truly express your Feminine Energy in a way that a man can hear, and that feels SAFE, lovely, inviting and SEXY to him.

To learn how to be a feminine “poet” instead of a masculine “reporter,” be one of only 10 women in my “You Get Love” Coaching “Gym” right here==>>

http://www.coachrori.com/teleclass/

Love, Rori

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:19am
307: Iamabutterfly says:

I have got to make myself eat breakfast!

I broke down last night because I lost something important. Really important.

In a stereo-typical-scatter-brained moment.

and I felt so angry at myself, so unloveable (who is ever going to love someone who can’t simply “keep it together?” my NVs yelled at me.)

Such a trigger for me.
Losing things, messiness, scatter-brainedness.
I hate that about myself.

How can I love that about myself?

I’ve been verbally put down so much by people I’ve been close to because of those qualities in myself.
by my Mom and an ex-best friend.
and I didn’t know what to say to defend myself, because I feel like I “deserved” the verbal put downs.

“How can you take care of a husband and family when you can’t even take care of yourself?”
My Nvs say.

and I don’t know how to answer them…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:19am
308: Femininewoman says:

Well – what if “bi!tch” is just what happens when we stuff down our FEMININE energy? What if it has nothing to do with acting like a man at all? What if “bi!tch” is just our screaming Feminine using
“bi!tchy” WORDS?

Why “bi!tches” seem to get more attention from men than “nice girls,” and even when a woman gets labeled a “bi!tch” she also seems to get a bit of RESPECT from a man, is because, at least, the REAL Feminine is COMING OUT.

It may not be pretty, it may not feel good to him, but he GETS that it’s REAL FEELING.

We’ve all learned to be so careful, we’ve almost made it impossible for a man to see who we really are. We’ve almost made it impossible to be “Imperfect,” and so it’s hard for a man to feel HE can be Imperfect AROUND us. It’s a pretty complex system, and we HAVE TO TEAR THAT SYSTEM DOWN!

Being “bit!chy” is just not knowing the words to truly express your Feminine Energy in a way that a man can hear, and that feels SAFE, lovely, inviting and SEXY to him.

To learn how to be a feminine “poet” instead of a masculine “reporter,” be one of only 10 women in my “You Get Love” Coaching “Gym” right here==>>

http://www.coachrori.com/teleclass/

Love, Rori

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:20am
309: Iamabutterfly says:

I feel angry again. I feel sad that I feel angry. I want to know why it feels more acceptable for men to be messy and scatter-brained than women. Like, how come they can be brilliant and leaders and messy and it’s completely okay?

but if a woman is a million wonderful things, but messy, she’s disgusting, she’s a failure.

why do I have this belief?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:21am
310: Tam says:

304, FW, yep. I don’t want to, exactly. But what if a man persists and wants to hear my view on things and my advice. I can’t just say ‘It feels bad to give a man advice’, when I actually know a lot about the topic in question..it would come across as very weird if I was to refuse.
So how do I handle ‘giving advice’ without it being unromantic??? This has come up a few times for me and I feel unsure about this.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:26am
311: Annie says:

Tam,

301: Tam says

“hmm..what if a man asks you specifically for advice and you want to help him but not destroy the romantic vibe and turn it into a ‘friends vibe’.
How does one do that?”

That’s a difficult one.
I would love to know the answer.
Especially if our personality is to help.
I believe romantically it will turn both us and him off.
As no masculine energy man wants that from the woman he chooses to spend his life with.
And as women we want our man to be able to do this without asking us.

It makes us and him feel like we are mummying him. YUCK!

So if he specifically asks.
Well after reading doing Roris tools.
It would feel best to me if I managed to catch myself in time wanting to answer in my habitual learned way to stop.
Then slow down and tune back into my feelings around it, state how I felt, maybe what I wanted and then ask him what he thought.

The vibe is the key though.
As if I do this wanting to manipulate and get him to do it the way I believe is right, he will feel it.

Where as if I do this from a place of well this is what I feel and would want but only you know what is best for you as I am not you.
We then may not like what he chooses and may not believe it is the best and wouldn’t be what we would do.
But we are not him.

Not so easy to do.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:35am
312: Belle says:

301

Tam

I just say no to giving advice.
As a matter of fact, I found a journal entry from a couple of years ago, and one of the things I felt best about the whole day was saying “no” to giving advice to a man I was dating.
It was an honest no and I can remember now still how good it felt to say no….ahhhh….easy.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:40am
313: Daria says:

Tam – I feel curious about this. I would like to give some answers if you can give some more specific, even if hypothetical examples ?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:45am
314: Femininewoman says:

I was just about to ask about the context Tam

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:46am
315: Tam says:

Thank you Annie and Belle…hmm….saying ‘no’ seems just such a strange thing to do. Let’s say I am an archaeologist and the man I am dating is digging out foundations and asking me for advice about what to do when he hits on an ancient monument or finds artefacts.
I mean, wouldn’t it just come across as totally insane if I said ‘ I am not giving advice to a man’??
This is just an example of the type of advice I do get asked sometimes, of a subject that I am knowledgeable in yet the man is not.
In such a case I would consider it rude to say ‘no’…wouldn’t you??

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:47am
316: Tam says:

Daria and FW, great minds think alike, I had not even seen your responses and typed an answer

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:48am
317: Belle says:

I mean, I say no to requests to me for advice, not no to others giving advice, that would be giving advice

Even with friends…for example,
a friend asked my advice on repainting her kitchen, she didn’t like the color she had just painted it.
I asked her,
“How long did it take to paint it?”
M: about 2 hours
“How much time have you spent hating it?”
M: About 3 days. Oh, okay, we’ll just repaint it this weekend.

So she got to answer for herself, and when I’m not around she likes to tell me she wonders, “What questions would Belle ask?” to help her sort out her thoughts.

I feel more relaxed with this dynamic.
Giving advice, usually feels like “not equal” to me and I tend to gravitate more and more to feeling “equal” with others, it feels more like “true to myself”.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:50am
318: Belle says:

314

Tam

I feel curious and wonder if the question about advice is revealing something deeper? Fears of being seen as “insane” and “rude”?
Whatever is true for you is true for you – if you feel comfortable, then you do, and if you don’t, then you don’t.
I wonder if it wouldn’t be very vulnerable to say, “It feels so good to be asked for advice on this subject and I like giving it, and yet, I cherish the romantic vibe I feel with you and want to preserve it,” or something along those lines.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:00am
319: Iamabutterfly says:

@309 Tam – I feel curious about this as well. I had a date with a guy several years ago where he asked for my advice. I felt really weird having a man ask me for advice. but, I think he was just “thinking like a man.” I got the impression that he really wanted to get in good with me. He knew that he liked it when a girl asked him for advice, so maybe a girl would like being asked for her opinion?

that’s the impression I got, at least.

what do you think?

how do you feel about that?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:01am
320: Iamabutterfly says:

almost as though to let me know he respected me. I hate when I’ve been un-Rori like in the past, trying to get answers from a man about why he was behaving a certain way, and all he can do is sit there and tell me how much he respects me, when i’m in love with him, don’t care about his respect, just wanted his love.

now, both feel equally important, oddly enough…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:08am
321: Goddess Lily says:

300- Tam

I thought of that right after I posted. My apologies. Yes, I’m on siren island.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:08am
322: Tam says:

318..lamabutterfly…yes, I believe also men sometimes ask for advice to make us feel special and that they trust us and see us as ‘intelligent’

Goddess Lily – no no, don’t apologise, I felt flattered that you asked me

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:14am
323: MissStix says:

Tam RE: giving advice

I love to say “Wow that’s a predicament.” and “hmmmm I really don’t know what to say to help you. And I do feel confident in you. I beleive you have the ability to solve this.”

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:25am
324: MissStix says:

First I had to address my fear of not knowing the answer… I believe it’s easier to shrug out of giving advice if we simply admit

“hmmm I really don’t kniw the answer…”

And this could be a GREAT lead-up to belle’s problem solving questions.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:30am
325: Tam says:

322 Miss Stix – excellent!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:33am
326: Goddess Lily says:

I feel torn down and hopeless. The old lady upstairs told me she was praising me and my work to somebody and they said “you just don’t know her.” She won’t tell me who it was that said that. What have I done to people? I try so hard to be nice to everyone and treat them how I want to be treated and yet there is still somebody (or possibly multiple somebodies) walking disliking me. Then if that wasn’t bad enough, the old lady found out about my breakup and she said “have you ever thought maybe the problem is you?” I wanted to scream “Of course, I always think it’s me and I’m not good enough. Thank you for reminding me!” I tried rejecting the negative interpretations thing, didn’t work. I still feel horrible. I feel tired of trying. Tired of caring.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:34am
327: Tam says:

One of my really nice CD’s knows I don’t have a car and has asked me to meet him downtown….at a very nice place nonetheless…but now I need to tell him that no, i do not have $60 to spend on a taxi and no, I do not feel like waiting 1/2 hour for a bus and arriving there sweaty and dishevveled…the public transport here is very unreliable…eek.
But then if he wants to keep on partying and I want to go home, I’d be dependent on a lift from him back home…hmmmmm….

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:35am
328: Tam says:

((((Goddess Lily))))
You are perfect, she is projecting her own problems onto you. Don’t get sucked in!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:36am
329: Femininewoman says:

Tam my thinking is if this something you know about and he doesn’t it might be a little different. Also I believe it is okay to say that you feel uncomfortable being his teacher because it feels too masculine to you. That you feel more comfortable being feminine. If he insists then I would find a way to tell him how I feel about the topic at hand. Then maybe add a body language kinda eww shaking at the end and say that feels so masculine to do. Okay now I am slipping back into being all soft and girly like. Maybe even make a gesture of switching hats and letting him know that is what you are going to do before and after.

Yeah I know. I am silly.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:42am
330: Tam says:

328..that’s actually good stuff FW

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:44am
331: Goddess Lily says:

I know the old lady’s heart is in the right place. She cares about me and doesn’t want me to end up alone like her. But I could’ve dealt without her telling me about this person going around our job tarnishing my reputation if I can’t do anything about it. And as far as her being a mirror, that’s why I’m on this blog. To learn to be the best me so there’s no question when somebody challenges that.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:45am
332: Scarlet says:

I am feeling rejected. I thought I could remain friends with someone who said they still loved me but was unable, at this stage, to give me the love I deserved and wanted. He now phones me twice a day and for a few days I have coped ok with that. But today, he said after the second phone call “I feel happy now I’ve talked to you’. But the fact that that is all it takes for him to be happy made me feel triggered. I want more than just to talk on the phone. Originally I said I wouldn’t be his friend because, although he continually says he loves me, he doesn’t want me and it hurts. But the problem is when I have cut all contact, the pain is so bad that I fall into depression. So I thought this way would feel less painful, but now I am not so sure. I don’t know what I should do now.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:49am
333: MissStix says:

I feel on the ball today! Yes. It feels like a big round rubber ball under my feet and sometimes it’s unstable and like woahhhh foreward, back woah woah woah but as long as I stay on top I feel proud and accomplished. Today it feels like dancing around on tippy toes on top of that ball and it is just moving and rolling and dancing to my tune. Yum! He11z yeah

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:59am
334: Femininewoman says:

Scarlet it seems he feels emotionally connected to you when he talks with you, Maybe that connection can grow? ? I don’t know but if you want more it seems to me that practicing saying “it would feel good to go on a date”. Or “I want to feel special, romanced, and pursued and I don’t feel that way with just calls. I feel interested in dating. What do you think?” Then listen to him . If he says no, then
maybe “I really like you. Probably too much to be just friends. This is why I am not sure we should continue this situation unless you feel the same way”.

This is a combination of Daria and CCarter FMs. Also remember that you can seek out therapy/counselling for the depression. A bad feeling situation in my humble opinion could make depression worse.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:59am
335: Femininewoman says:

MissStix you have me rollling around with you on that ball. Feels like a circus employee but fun fun fun.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:01am
336: Femininewoman says:

I want to turn my back to pain. I am feeling tension. numb pain in my breasts. Sometimes I believe it is shifting hormones but I don’t know.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:06am
337: bloom-ing says:

iamabutterfly,

306 ? i think ? i sometimes have thought my “klutziness” is a way that i neglect my self-care & recently as i had to pay a couple late fees in a row for things that i didn’t take care of right away i was also noticing myself asking if maybe i couldn’t love myself a little more by organizing myself a little in a way that feels good to me…

lol i brought back my “trick” of keeping a physical to-do list in a ziploc baggie that has a little reminder about what i want to do & any time i get a moment i sift through the trinkets & see what i feel like doing & then i literally feel lighter afterward, since i get to dispose of a physical item lol : ) & it feels fun to sift through & organize the treasures, even if i don’t get anything “done” lol sorry i feel embarrassed i notice. but this feels good for me to do & helps me stay organized : )

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:06am
338: MissStix says:

((((scarlet))))

You are worth more than just being there for him to feel better. Being friends with an ex lover can feel very intense and it’s only “good” for us if we are gaining something from it. Some kind of learning, or growing.

Have you released your feelings about this to him?

A good start might be to say something like “I feel sad. I don’t want to be just friends with a man I feel in love with.”

And even though the feelings are intense and painful cutting off contact may be what is best for you…Only you know. But if you do remain friends with him you will have to see it as a learning, a forgiveness, a release of bitterness and an acceptance of your feelings and a way to walk through them. If you don’t feel capable of seeing it that way, and do remain friends you could get stuck in a very viscious, painful loop.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:08am
339: MissStix says:

I used my ex-husband. Yep. I did. I used being friends with him to show myself “I can do this! and I can forgive and I can feel this and I will be ok!”.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:11am
340: Tam says:

So MrP and I managed to resolve our conflict and are on speaking terms again. Now I do feel a little sad that he is not making plans. On the other hand, I feel grateful that I am getting bombarded with invites for dates..dinners etc.
Tonight I am going to a super nice place in a town north of here with EnglishCD. I feel good about that.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:16am
341: MissStix says:

Tam

And now that it is worked out, and he knows you need more direct communications…If he slips and goes vague on you, don’t forget this amazing little FM: I feel confused!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:25am
342: Tam says:

Miss Stix, you are on a roll today, I feel a knowledgeable FM vibe from you
Like it!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:27am
343: Tam says:

Mind you, he is the master of indirect or ‘no’ communication and expects people to mind-read. Well, I was a bit like that too. Before I realised why (walls).

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:28am
344: Scarlet says:

Thanks for your reply Femininewoman and Miss stix, I have expressed that I want more and that I can’t be friends. What that has done is make him panic because he truly does not want to lose me from his life so he promises that he can step up and he tries for a few days and then is honest about that fact that he cannot and just wants us to be friends. So I don’t want to provoke him into promising what I know he cannot deliver. So the alternative is to say what I feel – that I cannot do the friends thing because of how if makes me feel, and then when he panics and starts promising, what do I do then? Not answer the calls? I don’t know if I am capable of doing that and it will be so painful for him to be totally gone.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:29am
345: Miss Bells says:

I got an “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you and take yo with me Sunday email,
sweet and chatty–
“call me!”
LOVE HS

How he signs himself is a big indicator with him:
Ciao–take care–Love–or sometimes nothing in that space.

But NO mention of the actual content of the note.

I am willing to see him. I would like to let him know my boundary–I’m not sure he actually HEARD it (not sure I said it exactly right) and I want to make sure he knows how i feel and what it will take to be in a relationship with me.

I was going to call me (he asked for that insistently) and just let him talk for a bit.

If he says he wants to see me–He can come to me.

Then–just work the tools–especially the ones about focusing on me.

When he makes a move for more contact:

My feelings for you are too strong to be “just friends”. If you are being romantic that would feel wonderful.

AND

You are free to contact any and all the women you want–but if you do–it just feels AWFUL to me, and I won’t stick around.

What do y’all think?
I know this is a “moment” and how I react can change things. I haven’t responded yet.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:34am
346: MissStix says:

Scarlet

An example script:

I feel sad. This feels very difficult for me. I don’t want to be just friends with a man I feel in love with.

When he “tries” to step it up (temporarily-also something my ex husband did) your job is to lean back and allow it. You can express your feelings like this:

“I feel so appreciative of your efforts to step up. I still feel confused and wary of trusting this, but thank you.”

Keep on keeping on. Lean back. Feel your feelings and find your love for them. CD and keep busy. Remain open and be surprised and receptive of the good and positive. Feel it, sink into it. Release the FMs. Work through any difficulties you may have being receptive. When things feel negative. Feel it, sink into it and release the FMs.

Rinse, repeat.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:44am
347: MissStix says:

Scarlet

PS. It’s all about you!

How does that feel Be honest. It’s ok if it feels selfish or uncomfy. It’s also ok if it feels powerful and good.

Important stuff.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:48am
348: MissStix says:

I wonder what it is about today? I am in advice mode. Feeling knowledgeable. Hmmm

I also want to throw it out there that we never have to have an explanation for our feelings. And I think, in fact, better if we don’t!

“Why do you feel that way?”

“Dunno exactly why. I just do…” I say this to G a lot.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:52am
349: Femininewoman says:

You are free to contact any and all the women you want–but if you do–it just feels AWFUL to me, and I won’t stick around.

I don’t want to be a girlfriend right now. I feel like being married. You are free to do what you want and I don’t want to put pressure on you but I feel awful knowing you are contacting other women. I feel my heart drop to the ground and so not enough. And I don’t want to feel that way with you.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:52am
350: Femininewoman says:

Scarlet when he starts stepping maybe remind him about what he recently said and ask him if he has changed his mind and what he sees for you in the future?

Maybe his timeline is different than yours. In that he sees you permanently together in 5 years but you can’t wait that long? Are you clear on your boundary around time?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:56am
351: MissStix says:

FW 348 & 349

Good stuff!!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:01am
352: Belle says:

323

yes….!!
I love love LOVE the ‘not knowing’.
I feel so RELIEVED not to have the answers for other people!
My friends get a kick out of the way I catch myself sometimes,
“What you *need* to do is xyz…wait, no, wait, I don’t know WHAT you need so I can’t say for sure but one *possibility* that I feel all excited thinking about is…” I crack me up, too, because I feel all hummingbird energy when I talk like that

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:13am
353: Miss Bells says:

(((Scarlet))))
The answer the sirens gave you is also perfect for me.

I my case there is contacting of OW. Deal-breaker for me.

So–receptivity and FMs.
And boundaries. And focus on me as center of my life. And leaning back.

I think that is about it.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:18am
354: Femininewoman says:

RE 340 Tam have you looked at the interactions through the lens of separating your issues from his? What were your issues that either fed into or created the conflict?

That kind of introspection could help you build emotional fitness.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:27am
355: MS says:

Scarlet,
I’ve had a similar experience to yours, where I tried to be there for someone who was not giving me the affection I wanted, but assured me he wanted our relationship to continue. Every time we talked about it he blamed his emotional distance on his work situation or stress about his parents’ health. I tried to be understanding and we saw each other at least 4 times a week but this unhappiness I was experiencing by being understanding and overfunctioning while ignoring my own needs went on for around 6 months before I got to the point of saying that I needed to know how he really felt, at which time he said he needed time apart. Then when we last met he mentioned feelings of ‘deep friendship’ – at that point I said ‘no friends’ and was ready to walk away, but he persuaded me that he did want more and let’s meet again. I fell for it because I wanted it to be true, but I was back into limbo. Then the same pattern of disappearing for a while and saying when he texted he was having ‘difficult times’ and sorry for not being in contact. Eventually after another month of no contact I trusted my gut feelings which told me the relationship I wanted just wasn’t there, and words not backed by actions meant nothing. I sent him a note only yesterday to say I need to move on. I couldn’t stay friends because the thought of him being friends and meeting someone else and telling me about it would just be too much – could you handle that? It was very hard for me to cope at first because I felt a deep sense of loss, but I remembered how miserable I was being in limbo and realised it would just keep happening as per previous times if I didn’t walk away. It was very painful being alone at first, but believe me it gets better as you spend more time doing things with true friends or on your own which you wouldn’t do with him. I am plucking up the courage to circular date, and a few days away with a friend has filled me with feelings that I am deserving and will be my authentic self in any relationship. Look after yourself first, he can look after himself but it is easier for him to guilt trip you – that just says how little he is thinking about you while you are worrying about him. Hope this helps you.
MS

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:27am
356: Femininewoman says:

Miss Bells – You are free to contact any and all the women you want

I hate the “giving” of men this kind of idea/instruction. Most women who I know that do these types of things live to regret it. He will feel free to contact them and you will be surprised when he tells you that you gave him permission to do it. I have seen this over and over again.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:30am
357: Iamabutterfly says:

@336 bloom-ing – thanks, bloom-ing! I think you are wonderful!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:32am
358: Belle says:

Yesterday I had a fun interaction with a guy at work, it felt really good!
He was standing behind me, looking at my a$$ and I heard him say softly, “oh, thank you so so much for not wearing those heels today,” (he feels really turned on by a particular pair of wedge heels I wear occasionally).
I felt mischievous, and turned and said, with a grin, “Does D not give you enough to do that you can sit in here looking at my a$$ all day? I can call him, if you’re bored…”
He said, “Hey…noo!! Wait a minute, I’m your friend!” as he hightailed it out of the office.
It felt really fun to see him as being in “rascal” energy, instead of feeling threatened and scared and not knowing how to respond. It just came out effortlessly and I felt powerful and secure in myself and I felt this sort of “shoo! get on out of here with yourself!” playfulness that acknowledged, welcomed, respected, accepted and appreciated all of our sexual feelings and did…I dunno…*something* magical with them that left us both feeling good.

These little acts, one after another, all day long, feed and feed the positive feelings and my self-esteem, they are what my soul has been hungry for, it feels like nourishment for a part of my deep inner core that feels like it’s finally “arriving”! Hello! I’m here! My awesomeness is here! Isn’t it beautiful, my inner beauty? Isn’t it lovely, this true me? Isn’t this whole “innocent love” thing so delicious and bouncy and bright and doncha just wanna do cartwheels now??

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:33am
359: bloom-ing says:

miss stix, i feel happy reading what you wrote : ) lol for some reason i feel kind of super freed-up actually & amused…. you “chose” a little different angle on my question than i originally intended & now i’m seeing other potential interpretations & i wasn’t aware there was so much space this around this, even just in the words…. lol, so i’m just sitting there. but thanks for sharing your perspective too : ))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:40am
360: MissStix says:

Belle 351

Thumbs up sista!!!

It is ok if we don’t have all the answers. We are still cool cool and worthy women

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:45am
361: MissStix says:

Bloom-ing (I think you’re referring to yesterday’s talk about men thinking about other women?)

Sweet. I felt like I was not hitting the nail on the head and kind of denting the wood, but wanted to express my views nonetheless!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:48am
362: Starla says:

So I never texted Warrior back. I just didn’t feel like it. And then he texted in the evening
“hey how is your week going? how is belly dancing?”

and then less than an hour later “Guess what. I won a cruise for 2 to the Bahamas ”

I dunno. I was very clear that i wanted to be called. and I got this overwhelming sense like he was testing my boundaries.

And ummm in general actually I am thinking lately like I don’t want to be dating at all.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:51am
363: Starla says:

i got this vibe off his texts like he was kind of freaking out. and it made me feel powerful, cuz i usually feel kind of ‘ho hum’ in his eyes, like he could take me or leave me.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:52am
364: MissStix says:

Belle!!!

Yummy yum yum delicious! I DO want to do cartwheels now! I wonder if my old bones could handle it I might just try! Seriously

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:55am
365: Miss Bells says:

#356
You are free to contact them but if you do continue I won’t be in your life anymore.

He already IS contacting them. That is why I moved down here. It’s not a long ways to go from here to No Contact with ME.

My words are to tell him that if it continues I will be absolutely gone.

So, if he does–I won’t be there to know.

We will stay broken up. The end.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:55am
366: bloom-ing says:

“Pyramid Song” by Radiohead

I jumped in the river and what did I see?
Black-eyed angels swam with me
A moon full of stars and astral cars
All the things I used to see
All my lovers were there with me
All my past and futures
And we all went to heaven in a little row boat
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

I jumped into the river
Black-eyed angels swam with me
A moon full of stars and astral cars
And all the things I used to see
All my lovers were there with me
All my past and futures
And we all went to heaven in a little row boat
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:58am
367: MissStix says:

Starla

First…Jeez! I feel curious how you feel about having a trip to the bahamas put “out there” without an invitation and in the context of crossing one of your boundaries (seeing it over text).

And second I feel good to see you feel powerful and did not take his bait.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:58am
368: bloom-ing says:

keep imagining myself singing a sexy song to my man & kind of dancing ? feels really really embarrassing to imagine but i love to sing & that sounds hot to me lol if i can actually do it without feeling weird…… hm

my imagination is getting a workout these days… hm.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 9:59am
369: Miss Bells says:

#356
Not giving him advice or permission.

Maybe I should say–It feels awful that you are contacting OW in any way–and I don’t want to feel this way. If this is just the way it is I am leaving.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:00am
370: MissStix says:

So I did do a cartwheel! giggles. And I felt pain in my shoulders a fibrous tingles in my legs behind the knees. It felt crooked and awkward and a little oooofy! But it felt fun! and I wonder if I would feel less pain if I try one not in the morning…Maybe after yoga when i’m feeling loosy goosy and my center of gravity is lower and more anchored in my feet.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:02am
371: Silver Moonbeam says:

Any Sirens online?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:06am
372: Tam says:

354 FW the interaction was based on non-communication and assumptions. And worse, I was the one who assumed only the worst…I feel gutted that I am still stuck in that fear of intimacy cycle of always assuming the worst. It’s ingrained so it seems.
His issue was just ‘no’ communication. He didn’t want to give anything away, the meeting supposed to be about my stuff (well), but still, if he wanted me there he could have picked me up. I suspect he was being resistant to me ‘demanding’ to be picked up. I just said it would feel good…but anything that he sees as pressure, he runs.
It *has* to be his idea, like the *I’ll get you from the airport* – if it is his idea then driving an 80 Mile roundtrip is ok.
So the lesson I learn from that is: never assume anything, least all the worst.
And to lean back completely and not even ‘suggest’ anything, even with feeling messages – won’t work with him.
So that leaves me with only one option, which is to get back on my horse. I have a date every day for the next three days, with a different CD. I feel bland about this but it will be done.
Actually, I feel sad.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:09am
373: Femininewoman says:

you are contacting OW – this though is focussing on his behavior which is likely to create defensiveness, I believe.

Maybe I feel shut down and turned off when I think of you with other women. I want to feel special and I don’t feel that way when it seems I am just one of a crowd. (This one is thanks to Daria)

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:09am
374: Femininewoman says:

you are contacting OW – this though is focussing on his behavior which is likely to create defensiveness, I believe.

Maybe I feel shut down and turned off when I think of you with other women. I want to feel special and I don’t feel that way when it seems I am just one of a crowd. (This one is thanks to Daria)

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:09am
375: Silver Moonbeam says:

I just found a message on my phone from guy who texted me this morning it was sent 2 hours ago, he said he is at home all evening and for me to call him when I am free, how do I turn this around for him to call me, we have only had a few mails on the dating site and a few casual texts, we are both in our 50′s not teenagers!!

I feel good when the man takes the lead, I am free after 7pm or something like that??????

I prefer it when the man phones first, I’m kinda old fashioned like that, I’m free after 7pm??

HELP!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:10am
376: Starla says:

missstix

the bahamas thing was for sure just testing me to see if i’ll respond.

i didn’t realize he was that juvenile lol

((((((((men)))))))))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:11am
377: Tam says:

A man does what he wants to do and when he wants to do it and if that means he doesn’t want to see me he won’t.
The irony of it is that I have men coming out of my ears right now. Literally. Phoning me until my ears bleed. Ah well.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:15am
378: Femininewoman says:

I feel better when the man is the leader and I can relax and be a goddess. What do you think?

It doesn’t feel good chasing you by phone. It feels good to let you lead the communicating. It feels good to hear your voice.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:22am
379: MissStix says:

((((men))))

Ummm but yeah. Just because we love to receive does not mean our boundaries can be ignored entirely or even “tested”. It is damn near a direct insult.

Could you imagine? “Bahamas what?”. (((starlas so not neediness))))

oi.

I do love men. but jeez. :p

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:24am
380: Femininewoman says:

Starla I am not sure if it is juvenile. Some men fear that some women aren’t interested in “them” the human and are more interested in what they have or the material things they bring to the relationship. Afraid of being a rescurer and breadbasket and end up in a relationship with no romance and fun.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:28am
381: Heart says:

Tam – I feel Mr. P is probably surprised that you stuck to your boundaries and is now trying to make amends by saying he set it up for you…hoping it will redeem him in your eyes…
I could be wrong.
Don’t beat yourself up for being angry…He was being a jerk.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:29am
382: Starla says:

a lot of times when men tell me to call them i’m just like, ‘it’d feel great to hear from you tonight, cool. i’m at xxx-xxx-xxxx’

lol.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:29am
383: Femininewoman says:

He was being a jerk – Do you really think so Heart. I wonder??

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:31am
384: Starla says:

fw you might be right

i did say clearly i was done texting (actually i said i was BOYCOTTING it) and that it would feel great to hear his voice. so at this point it is just a wee bit juvenile. and to pretend like he won a trip just to get a rise out of me… silly test.

i am ALSO being a bit juvenile, because i don’t want to see him tonight.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:31am
385: MissStix says:

Siren style:

Mmm “I feel so much more at ease to receive a phone call than to make one!”

Diva (maybe close to b1tch) style:

pffft “I don’t like it when I am “requested” by a man to make a phone call. I feel adored when a man just calls if he wants to talk to me.”

Needy style:

Say nothing and just call and chase because we’ll take whatever we can get!

Toying with this feels fun! Thank you Silver Moonbeam for giving a lighthearted scenario for us to play with! Have fun with this one!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:32am
386: Heart says:

#383 – FW – He said he had to laugh at one of Tam’s commentd….and then he said it was a meeting not a date….

Came across as unnecessarily Harsh imo.
Of course he’s a free guy and can date/not date who he likes but still….his message was plain Rude.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:37am
387: Starla says:

with the guys saying to call them thing, i just seriously assume i heard them wrong because of course the man calls, and give them my number and say it would feel great to hear from them lol

you will find a lot of men actually ‘break down’ here. they will text you for hours agonizing to you about how you never called them, instead of picking up the f*cking phone and calling you.

i feel a little at the end of my rope this morning, lol.

like this guy who only calls after 11, and i haven’t had the chance to call him back in 24 hours cuz i’m busy. so he texts me while i’m sleeping “lame.”

ummm YOU’RE LAME, guy. don’t insult me.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:38am
388: Femininewoman says:

I have one man who tells me to call him any time. He also says “don’t be a stranger now” because I don’t call.

Another doesn’t bother to suggest anything, he just calls. Sometimes he disappears for a week or so but he always calls.

Another will disappear for months at a time but he eventually calls. He says thinks like my phone isn’t ringing as much these days. Or text I miss you.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:39am
389: MissStix says:

Hmmm FW and starla

I don’t know about the juvenile either…However I do believe (it looks like) he is trying to bait her with the prospect of a trip. And he could have phoned to share his excitement with her (if that’s all it was). It feels insulting to me. Mildly. Because I do have compassion for him and he probably is working on a sub-conscious level. Craving her attention and not having the male “toolkit” to get it in an appropriate way.

To me this is the equivalent of me saying “i’m h0rny” to a guy, over text, after he has told me to stop texting him.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:39am
390: Tam says:

381 Heart and FW, perhaps we can swap the word ‘Jerk’ with the word ‘obstinate’, which is perhaps more accurate.
I did enjoy your post though Heart, because I hadn’t thought about it that way. But just the fact that he mentioned this meeting to me three times, and tried to set it up for Sunday first, makes me feel a little smiley…and a little niggly voice says that he did try to do some wheeling and dealing…he has been trying for ages to find a way of setting me up here.
Particularly since I split up with the boyfriend who was going to marry me, I feel the vibes of ‘I am a little responsible for that’ coming from him and he has been trying to fix that, so far without success. So it isn’t too far fetched that there was something in it for me, but for sure they met primarily for fun…it was at a bar after all

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:40am
391: Smile says:

He he, I just had a viewing for my house. When I opened the door I was instantly attracted to him, I felt all giggly and beamed a big smile at him. I lost the ability to speak properly! When he wanted to see in the garage as he has a motorbike, I couldn’t undo the locks, i could see him about to offer help, I just let him be my saviour without asking, then I said I’m feeling all girly and we laughed. I didn’t think about what I was saying it just came out.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:41am
392: Silver Moonbeam says:

Thanks ladies, I’ve just patched it together:

It feels good to let the man lead the communicating, it’d feel great to hear from you tonight. smiley face

How’s that? God that was scary ha ha!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:41am
393: MissStix says:

lolz

Diva starla! I feel like doing the finger-snap-turn-and-walk-away reading you

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:43am
394: Femininewoman says:

I believe we are social beings and one of the basic human needs is connection. It might be juvenile or a silly test but I choose to see it as a cry for love. It seems counterintuitive to me that if I want love and connection others might want the same thing too.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:43am
395: Tam says:

386, Heart, I now understand this:
‘He said he had to laugh at one of Tam’s commentd….and then he said it was a meeting not a date….’
He was trying to convey to me that it was a meeting…just that…and what he didn’t say was that it had something to do with me….
But it makes me even more smiley because this would mean that every other time we meet ‘is not a meeting’, i e it’s a date. Ha ha ha. This makes me feel pretty giggly now.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:43am
396: Silver Moonbeam says:

#391 Smile

I had the same girly thing last week with a fireman that popped into my work for a talk, I was giggling like a teenager and I’m 59 ha ha, hubba hubba hubba!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:44am
397: Tam says:

anyhow, he is back in his shell now…and I am playing with the other turtles while he’s stewing.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:45am
398: Tam says:

SMILE!!!! Yehaw!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:46am
399: MissStix says:

mmmm girly giggles and clumsy feelings and yum! Hubba hubba!

And I have a memory of witnessing an accident when I was single and there was this HOT HOT HOT fireman talking to me and we were flirting a bit and he turned around and his firemans jacket said “Naughty” on the bottom, over his bum and I giggled uncontrollably! I did not know they had there last names on the jackets. And when I found that out I was like “ohhhh my g0d! Even better!!”

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:49am
400: MissStix says:

*their

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:50am
401: Mel says:

((((Men))))

I have learned about my guy that he absolutely hates talking on the phone. I just mostly feel indifferent, so it doesn’t bother me. Personally, I feel like as long as the guy is stepping up, making plans to see me, and not making me feel annoyed by incessant texting, I’m okay without proper phone calls.

But I know this is a personal preference, and I certainly wouldn’t feel good about a just texting, no actual dates arrangement.

Starla, him ‘baiting’ you after you expressed your preference feels super twitchy and tense brow and frowny to me. Grrr Mr!

BTW way, I like your OK cool… you can call me at 555-5555 response. Very rockstar!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:51am
402: Femininewoman says:

I lost the ability to speak properly!

Smile that could possibly indicate emotional hijacking when you are flooded with whatever that creates attraction for you. It is something to take note of for cdating because it will likely show up again. It causes some of us to feel high and do silly things with bad boys that we regret later.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:51am
403: MissStix says:

PS it was a minor accident No one was seriously hurt. Don’t wanna sound totally insensitive.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:52am
404: Goddess Lily says:

Ha ha, Mr. Naughty!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:54am
405: Silver Moonbeam says:

Hee Hee MissStix

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:54am
406: Heart says:

Tam – I feel skeptical of your interpretation. I just can’t understand why he wouldn’t tell you if he went through the trouble of setting up a meeting…He Would have to be crazy
Shell? Maybe he went back to his mental asylum…too takr his looney pills….LOL!
I feel bi!chy

Anyway….you seem to be enjoying Cding! I feel happy to read that…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:54am
407: MissStix says:

Ahem hem

Yes. FW. You are right snapping back to reality here. They know when they have this effect on us too. So, feeling this and sinking in. Being aware. Acknowledging it. Getting cozy with it.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:55am
408: MissStix says:

But I am still giggling.

ohhh. Best ever.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:57am
409: Heart says:

omg…I can’t believe I missed out on the Jim episode!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:57am
410: CurvySiren10 says:

I may be late on this topic but I feel really triggered about the “not giving advice” topic. I don’t get it. I am an intelligent, accomplished woman and my man LOVES this about me. He has told me so many times that my intelligence and savvy is a huge attractor for him. He values my opinion and often advice on things. He has also given me a ring and committed to a life with me. I have learned SO much from Rori and her tools; one of the greatest things being to be my authentic self in relationships. That often includes sharing knowledge, experience and know-how. I CAN’T pretend that I don’t have an opinion to make my man feel all big & important.

What am I missing here??? Any thoughts are welcome. This is an interesting topic for me.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:58am
411: Femininewoman says:

Tam I believe in treating/thinking of all men/people well. I am not saying I achieve it all the time but I keep that in the forefront of my mind. Reason being is that I believe “jerk” or whatever other descriptive we use in our minds towards men/people have a way of creeping out or affecting my vibe. I am practicing catching myself with those “descriptives”. The tartwords or oneupmanzingers have not served me well in my past love life.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:58am
412: Smile says:

Tam,  my response to your message won’t send! If I delete even one thing it deletes the whole lot!

I’m just gonna have tea, love how my routines are so predictable lol then I’ll turn my laptop on and type it up. It’s working fine on blog though.

Happy Friday!!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:59am
413: Smile says:

Yikes FW thank you!

I totally wasn’t prepared for my feelings. Hit me as soon as I opened the door!

I shall look into this more.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:01am
414: Tam says:

May I just say about ‘so-called’ bad boys or players, FW, that they usually turn me off so much that I am completely Rori-like in dealing with them…or even offstandish. I can smell them 100 Miles against the wind, always have done, and there is something about a Gigolo or Ladies man, that makes me want to vomit.
I saw one of those in the bar yesterday, we have known him for years. On the beach he puss out his chest. In the bar he is hitting on anything that looks remotely female. of course he is married, and he once said to me ‘although I am married, I consider myself single because my wife works away this week, can I show you my $5 Mio house?
EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK. Ok, he is very good looking and charming but that sentence alone made me want to grab the next Martini glass and hit it over his head.
How can any woman marry THAT?
You can see it in him within the first minute.
Pfffffff…I never got why some people are attracted to players.
In fact, that was the biggest misunderstanding I had with MrP on our first date and the reason why it took us forever to meet again (I had no desire to). I thought he was a player too, but he is so not. And he had a really shy vibe…and I remember my intuition telling me that this is a sweet and shy guy, and the stuff he said just turned me off completely…he was nervous and his usual obstinate self ‘men like this, men like that bla bla’. All defense and front, playing the hard man. I realised after our second meeting that this man could never be a player even if he tried. He he he…he is too shy to hold hands. Jeepers, sometimes it feels like teenagers, honestly. Ugh.
Not a player, no…at least this!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:03am
415: Tam says:

stand-offish

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:04am
416: Starla says:

fw again you’re probably right it’s just a cry for love, but i feel soooo wary of “interpreting” guys who don’t step up as just crying out for love.

this is his own sh*t. He’ll figure it out. I told him how I prefer to be contacted and how good it would feel. Any of this behavior is him struggling with his own insecurity, and also feeling his own projection of how he’s kept me at an arm’s length in terms of showing me he’s very into me.

He’s smart and I have faith in him that he will process this and ‘get it’.

and if he doesn’t, no big deal.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:05am
417: Heart says:

Do you Sirens think I’ll hear from CudG?
I feel confused by his absence…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:06am
418: Tam says:

Hi Smile…you know, I get speechless too when a really attractive guy stands in front of me all of a sudden…maybe it’s a little normal…hm.
Aw, thanks for the message that didn’t send, how frustrating

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:06am
419: Tam says:

417, Heart yes I do but it’s odd that he always takes so long, eh?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:06am
420: Annie says:

369: Miss Bells

“#356
Not giving him advice or permission.

Maybe I should say–It feels awful that you are contacting OW in any way–and I don’t want to feel this way. If this is just the way it is I am leaving.”

I feel in agreement with FW.

Miss bells How do you really feel?
Jealous?
Disrespected?
If you sink into this?
What is it you really want or don’t want?
Is it to share a man?

Are you able to go deeper and then reword but make it about you.

The last sentence sounds like an ultimatum to me.
Can you reverse it?
And you have already left, so that makes no sense.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:08am
421: Tam says:

410 CurvySiren!!!! Yes, yes!! I agree. I have always been with men who were attracted to me also for intellectual reasons and we would debate and also on occasion advise each other on things that the other person asked to know…or needed input on. It never really sabotaged the relationships, to the contrary.

I believe that ‘being bossy and telling men what to do’ (BAD) is different to giving advice when it is asked and wanted.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:09am
422: Heart says:

well it’s the second time he did this…and I don’t get it….I mean Wow..what is he trying to show me with this pulling away?
Is he really going to just come back and act casual again…

Not sure if this is what I want….
I like having space too…
But I feel disconnected.
I feel like he just left me hanging Again…
Our connection is disintergrating…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:11am
423: MissStix says:

Curvysiren

This is great for you! If it is authentic you and it works then don’t change a thing!

For me it’s more like…Giving him advice makes me feel big and important (or it used to) and I was actually fearful of not having an answer. And if I were “wrong” and told so I would just beat myself up and feel totally useless. I just simply feel more at ease if I remove myself from giving advice to my man at all. That does not mean I don’t share my opinion…And he is big and manly enough without my help

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:12am
424: Heart says:

disintegrating

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:15am
425: Femininewoman says:

Tam that is awesome how you react to bad boys.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:17am
426: Femininewoman says:

Starla I am wary too.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:19am
427: MissStix says:

And I do not beleive “not giving advice” diminishes my intelligence. On the contrary…I think it is a testament to my intelligence that I can say “I don’t know” instead of searching and searching and coming up with words that sound more like orders (when advice is not solicited) or questions (when it is solicited).

You should _____and ____ ____

or

Maybe if you ____ and ____?

For example.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:19am
428: MissStix says:

Believe

My spelling is all over the place today!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:20am
429: Annie says:

We give our power away to them when we focus on their behavior and not on what we want.

I can so see how we as women are trained to focus on that one man and make him the center of our universe.
And as an observer can see this going on Scarlett Tam, Miss Bells.

I do it to, most of us do it.
years of social training.
It’s what we have been taught.
It’s getting our focus back on us and what we want and the relationship we want rather than a particular man.
And the RIGHT man for us will then come along and want to and be able to give us what we want.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:21am
430: Femininewoman says:

Love it MissStix. I always wonder about this “insult my intelligence” line.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:25am
431: Miss Bells says:

OK–it’s a date.
He called me back.
I told him I talked to Trailer Man and I know all about what happened… OOOOHHHHH he says.
He is very embarrassed about the whole thing.
I know THAT is over.
He is definitely choosing me–but for what?

I said the thing about ALL OW–match gals, etc.
He said–well YOU are online and have the singles meetup group. I said–I was only there because you redefined me. I am willing to drop all of it. But only if it’s the right thing to do….for me. In other words, we are a couple and he drops all profiles.

He said he was waiting for my call– but then “I guess I have to be the one to initiate contact with you.” Uhhh Huhhh.

We talked about him coming down, but the HS house is STILL comfier than mine for the time being. And more private.

He was talking all this work stuff. I said “do you just want me to come work? Cause that doesn’t feel good to me…”

NOOOO. I want you to just come—I have a movie.

OK–I don’t want to cook.

I’ll figure out something–or we’ll go out.

I said–It feels awful to be “just friends”. I really don’t want to do that. I don’t know what to do.

What do you think–you don’t need to answer right now–but I have to tell you how I feel. Saying how I feel is the only way for me to keep it real–even if it’s uncomfortable.

There were lots of long silences. I didn’t try to fill them. I said hmmmmm a lot.

I said–I have things to do–I won’t be there till 3 PM.

Now I have taken a soak and washed my hair. Maybe go to Bed Bath and Beyond and use my coupon.

Then go up there.

Breathe–sink-in–lean back— receive.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:26am
432: Tam says:

427…yes, no ‘you should’ – that feels bossy.

but when advice is expressly asked, how about a:
‘when I was in that situation, I did…., what do you think?’
or:
‘if it was me, I might…..but you will know best as you have your own priorities’

That is not bossy, right?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:26am
433: MissStix says:

Tam

Hmmm…. I like the first approach best!

This is similar to the approach I think I have sunk into on the blog etc. I find this very hard to do out loud though…I am not a “talker” more like a space cadet thinker When i’m really thinking and feeling and in a moment my sentances are very short. Kind of …”clipped” I suppose, is a good word. Although not abrupt. Very “thoughtful”. I probably come off as speaking from “within myself” a lot. furrowed brow and hmmmm and all! I can tell a decent story, I think, and converse pretty well with people I know. But I am still working on my shyness and my need to “exit left!” from conversations with strangers.

Getting much better though! It is feeling less and less “forced” and more and more easy.

And digressing! :p

Both are good options for if your advice is requested! The second option seems a little more….Wave of the hand. To me. A little brushing-off…But could be good in the right situation!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:40am
434: Annie says:

Scarlett, Tam, Miss Bells.

As an observer I feel able to see that what is happening is energy going out to a man and making that mans behavior the focus.
Making him the centre

I do this to as do most of us as that is sadly what we have been socially conditioned and trained to do.

It’s getting the focus back on ourselves and making us the center like Rori says. On what we want and the relationship we want not focus in on or making any ONE MAN our center.
And then the RIGHT MAN for us will come along and want to and be able to give us what we want.
And that is what Rori means by this thread and VIBE.

When we chose our words and give these speeches we have to be at the place and coming from the vibe that this is my speech, this is how I feel and what i want.
And not be in a place of needing and wanting it to be HIM that gives us that.
He will feel it if you are coming from that place, that vibe.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:41am
435: Miss Bells says:

#420
Yes– I agree–I need to pinpoint exactly what I feel and say it.

I did leave–He is pursuing me.

If he is serious after I express my boundaries as feeling messages–if he is willing to meet my terms–then we can date and see what happens.

It has to be romantic–not friendly– and he has to express this to me–and-I won’t share him with any OW.

If that doesn’t happen–I am so far towards completely leaving that it will just mean picking up a small truckload of stuff.

Right now–I will not pick up the oars.

So– he has invited me on a date. We will spend time.
I am willing to receive and be surprised.

Maybe I will drive home later in the evening. If he offers the guest room I will likely leave.

If he offers his bed–hmmmm- Maybe we could just snuggle. Not sure about that.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:42am
436: Radlove says:

Miss Bells,

433 – May I offer a suggestion?

One thing I would change if I connect with R in the future is to not let him in that quick after I’ve been hurt. I would let him work for it.

What do you think or feel?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:45am
437: Tam says:

Interesting thoughts Miss Stix…believe it or not I am bad at face to face communication, especially feeling messages..and over the phone even worse, I hate speaking to people when I don’t see their faces.
This communication stuff is a big and scary deal for me….

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:45am
438: MissStix says:

Mills bells

I’m getting this imagery of you, kind of centered in your world. And there is this faceless buzzing man coming at you and then retreating irratically…Like a fly. And sometimes you’re kind of shoo-fly don’t bother me! (in the image, not in real life)

It feels neither positive nor negative. And I’m not entirely sure the image is a vision of how I think you are…or how I think you could be? Donno if that makes sense, but wanted to share.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:49am
439: Miss Bells says:

#434
He has been sitting there stewing for 3 days.

And–been hurt–maybe, but I also have never been clear with him. I have not been honest about my feelings.

I am will to try something new. But if he doesn’t lead–I will wander off and that will be that.

If he finds a way to express deep love and appreciation and adoration–we can keep talking.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:52am
440: MissStix says:

lol miss bells

But I say mills bells out loud and it sounds kind of juicy…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:52am
441: Radlove says:

Moonbeam,

375 – I would say, “I’ll be around from X time to X time. My number is XXXXXXX.” Then just leave it at that.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:57am
442: Starla says:

miss bells
when i think of a “long time” i think 3 months, not 3 days. that feels about right to me. or longer.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 11:57am
443: Tam says:

I’ve got to change my vibe again. See, now I know why I was so nervous before coming back out here, because I just knew that I would feel like this again.
Feeling longing.
Ah, I was doing so well.
Must work on my vibe.
I choose to believe that MrP is peeing his pants because I am the love of his life and he just can’t handle that. Ha!!!
And I choose to believe that all these men are breaking my phone with their texts and phone calls and I shall bill a new phone to Rori, because it was the magnet tool which caused all this
And I choose to believe that tonight’s date with a man I am not at all interested in (sorry folks) is going to be so amazing. Because, let’s face it, it is amazing that I have been able to find a man who seems to be even shorter than me. Oh Universe, thank you, thank you!!
It’s the dwarves night out.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:06pm
444: Femininewoman says:

3 days is nothing in boy time

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:07pm
445: Femininewoman says:

lol Tam you are funny

dwarves night out. Cool think that and fun fun fun and you are to have an easybreezyhotgirlvibe

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:09pm
446: Femininewoman says:

Aside from that Miss Bells *you* are going to him.
Translate – Making it easy for him.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:11pm
447: Tam says:

443..hehe FW..I am going to be a hot girl dwarf…except now I am worrying about heels, I will be ‘dwarfing’ him…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:11pm
448: Starla says:

So I was thinking again that I want to withdraw from the dating scene.

And I think a lot about what has been said here about the best therapy being dating and all that.

And at the same time, I think that underlies a very deep neediness, like I can’t be complete unless I’m searching for/finding my Forever Guy, or even validation and entertainment from the opposite sex.

It just feels wrong and needy. For me, at least.

And I feel inspired to go on a spiritual journey. I want to fill my free time with meditation and time with loved ones. I want to become a Reiki practitioner. I want to develop my intuition further.

I feel like I need to ‘let go’ of the boy energy that is running my dating show by being on dating sites and whatnot. I feel like that energy is actually preventing my soul mate from flowing into my life.

I do feel faith that if i just ‘let go’ of dating, he will come.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:14pm
449: Starla says:

i also want sex, and i’m not sure how that fits in there, but i have faith it will all work out perfectly

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:17pm
450: Tam says:

446 Starla, the more I CD, the more I feel like what you are writing there…but I am going to continue a bit and see..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:21pm
451: Heart says:

I had some cheap wine…now I feel chatty.
I remember some post by Distant two threads ago ….I think Rori responded to her.

Anyway – the man she was talkinh about – except for the age – sounded a lot like CudG…
His longest relationship was 1.5-2 years and it didn’t work out because “he couldn’t give her what she wanted” ….He and the guy Distant was talking about used the same line…

Anyway – we were talking about relationship- love- stuff and he said “he never felt that way about a woman ”

I found that to be fascinating…and then I read this post by this Distant person and he sounds so much like CudG…
There must be a psychological term or grouping for these kind of men…
I feel curious….I feel like – wow that cant be a coincidence…
Any info would be appreciated…

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:26pm
452: Starla says:

I feel like the place to meet men will be at social functions with friends, or in communities where i want to be more involved, like spiritual communities. Like I need to just stop ‘trying’ to meet men, and live my life and enjoy my friends and my interests and before I know it, he will show up.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:26pm
453: Starla says:

Cheers, Heart

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:27pm
454: Tam says:

449 Heart, MrP also said to me once ‘we don’t want the same thing’ and he is ‘not sure if he wasn’t maybe meant to be by himself’
Kind of similar.
Maybe ‘commitment shy’ might be a name for it?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:33pm
455: Heather says:

Hi Rori,
I am not sure I am posting in the right place but I thought I read to follow the most recent thread. So here it goes. I am unsure of what my next move should be, as I am pretty sure my ex will contact me soon. I read your e-book and have the modern siren CD’s. Circular dating is tough in my town, because it is small. I feel that I have already sampled any decent men here. I was trying it out via the internet, and that is how I met my ex. I quickly learned that he was not going to hang around if I kept seeing other guys. That only worked for about 2-3 weeks and then he started feeling rejected. He wanted me to be his girlfriend and did see a future with me. He told me he was emotionally available and not afraid of commitment. So I told him I would be his girlfriend exclusively. He was way into to me really fast. In fact I wasn’t really ready for the kind of pressure he put on me, but of course I was flattered. I had a tough schedule at the time and he was often frustrated that I didn’t have time for him or that I would turn him down sexually a lot because I was tired. He lifts weights and his libido was astronomical. I was working a lot and tired a lot. Then I always felt guilty. Also I was holding back, because I felt something was “missing” all the time. I was in constant conflict, but felt he was a great catch and I should try. He felt rejected by me a lot but really I was just trying to take my time. He is 39, just out of a 10 year relationship in which the woman cheated on him with a friend. He was deeply devastated, and I believe still is. He has been to counseling and does a lot of personal work. He works out almost every day. But he has no long term goals. That does bother me a little. He is doing this “day to day” thing.

I am 34 and very much want a husband and a baby. I do have long term goals and dreams. At first he said he could see all those things with me. He was really sweet, loving, and excited about me. Then it all shifted. I opened my heart, stopped having conflict, and allowed myself to fall in love with him. During this time though we were having some arguments, mostly about me feeling too much pressure or not wanting to have sex. Or sometimes his bluntness would hurt my feelings, just about random things. He began to say he was unsure about a baby and his path, and worried he would hold me back down the road from achieving my dreams. He began to become conflicted about how he feels about me. He saw that I was becoming depressed, and I will admit I was becoming depressed, having issues at work and my self-esteem started to plummet. I lashed out at him a few times when I felt too much pressure. I realize this was a turn-off, but all this drama and pressure with him wasn’t helping, and I think he can be sensitive as well.
Then we broke up and tried to keep “dating”. I waited for him to contact me and he did. He way backed off on the pressure and it felt much better, but we still had some communication issues. The sex however was improving as well as my libido. We slowed down on seeing each other because of the arguments and wondered if it was a compatibility issue, then tried one more time. I always felt it was just a communication issue. Meanwhile my feelings were growing stronger but he was becoming less loving and affectionate, but yet he didn’t want to seem to let me go.

In a nutshell, now we are broken up for real, and he says he still has feelings for me, is very sad, yearns for me sexually, but “something is missing”. Yet he still doesn’t want to date anyone else or let me go, but he doesn’t want to get back together with me either. I can’t tell anymore if I still feel that something is missing or not, or if I even want a life with him, I am too emotionally wrapped up. I miss him a lot. I do know I care about him deeply and yearn for him as well. I want to know if there is any chance with this guy, or if he is just still too hurt from his last relationship, or if it is just over. At this point he has only been single from his big bad breakup for a year, when we met it had only been 6 months. I recognize I made some mistakes. I got needy toward the end and very emotional all the time. I am very sensitive. I am willing to and have been working on that stuff. Our communication has actually improved, we no longer argue like we did, but I think he has sort of lost hope for us at this point. I still have it though, but it hurts. I saw him last week and that was the last time. He is leaving the “ball in my court” at this point because he doesn’t want me to be hurt. He seems to want to be my “friend”, because he does still have feelings for me and I think part of him does want it to click into place. But it now seems my feelings are stronger, or more present, and I know I can’t be his “friend”. He says he can handle having me in his life and not being able to act on his attraction for me. I have a feeling he will text me or call in a couple of weeks to say something dumb like “I still think about you” or “care”, because this has been his pattern. Or he may even want to hang out. I am not sure how I should respond if he does. Should I try to rekindle the relationship at that point or just be done? Sometimes I can really imagine a future together, other times I can’t. My friends really loved him at first and everyone told me to go for it, then when I did it backfired! Now they say move on, but they always say that when someone is hurt. Everyone agrees he is a great guy, maybe just not great for me. But I can’t tell that right now, and it won’t register anyway unless I believe in whatever choice I make. I want to let go if I can find someone more ready, and/or just need to do more work on myself. I am always doing work on myself though, and would really love to just have fun and fall in love; and both people at the same time!

Thank you for reading. This really was one of my shorter relationships, but feels very powerful. This is the first guy I met in a while who I really saw a possible future with.

Thanks again for any help you can give me,

Heather

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:33pm
456: MissStix says:

Starla

I do like this way of looking at it toi! And I wonder why it feels like talking blasphemy!

But I see a woman in you who loves herself and has good self esteem and your own way of being and it’s not “hurting” you. This other way you have…It could spit out a really good guy for you. Though it might take longer…Or not! I could happen tomorrow. But hey, as long as you are remaining open and receptive, and you have a good head on your shoulders to know him when you see him…Why not?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:34pm
457: Miss Bells says:

I am going to go feel it out.
I am going to have a nice meal.
I am going for joy and pleasure,
We shall see.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:36pm
458: Miss Bells says:

#446
Starla–that is exactly what I meant when I said I was taking my profiles down.
I don’t feel the need to put anything out there.
If they want to they will come to me.
If they want to know if I am available they will ask.
If they want to ask me out they will.
I am taking the sign down.
Let them figure it out.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:38pm
459: bloom-ing says:

lol… i was going to give up online dating too ! cd was my “last date” i was accepting new online dates from… actually, he fell a bit after my “cut-off,” but i was feeling giggly over his message & it looked like he was out of town, so i just sent a little response anywayz. lol : )

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:41pm
460: smile says:

silver moon beam @396

oo firemen, as it happens I have a trip to the firestation booked in for next friday afternoon! purely work related, but i cant belive the fire ‘men’ aspect of the day escaped my notice! thank you for reminding me! I feel giggly I wasnt focused on the men i will have chance to interact with.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:45pm
461: Daria says:

wow Silver Moonbeam! awesome and personalized!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:45pm
462: Heart says:

Starla – cheers

Tam – CudG and I have never talked about commitment …he was just telling me about his past relationships. He was in a commited monogamus relationship with her though….it just didnt lead to marriage..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:49pm
463: Starla says:

aw bloom-ing that feels so cute.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:52pm
464: bloom-ing says:

aw fxck it. that’s what i say.

please help me ! i want to be easy & i feel unsure.

awww my tiny brain just told me to buy a new journal & she promises we’ll work it all out…. mm i feel moved

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:53pm
465: Silver Moonbeam says:

#439 Rad

I already sent the message I patched together, and it’s now 9pm here in the UK and he never rang. I would say it’s too late to call a person you have never spoken to before. He already had my mobile as he had given me his, and I did the RR thing of here is my number blah blah

#458 Daria

Not quite my own words, pinched off the Sirens….didn’t work but hey I am getting there as scary as it is!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:55pm
466: MissStix says:

My blood is boiling right now. I feel so angry. Heart pounding hard. Urges to cuss out one of my tennants. Breathe breathe. My cheeks are so hot!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 12:59pm
467: bloom-ing says:

BANANASSSS wanna type BIG & SMALL HOORAYYYYYY WANNA JUST LEAVE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MY LETTERS OUT OFF THE END OF THE WORDSSSSSSSSSSSS JUST HANGINGGGGGGGGGGG i’m imagining it like yelling

YELLING YellING yelliNG yelliNg yellinggg that last hang-off from the echo…

ANGRY BABY RED FACED HUMAN but i’m not ! i’m sitting calm & prim balanced on a ball & typing with the very tips of my fingers like the automated clicking of a I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MACHINE IS

machines & numbers & math

sigh

RIP SKIN sadddddd girllllllllllllll what the EFF !? !? !?

feeling guilty & i love my guilt.

NOTEBOOKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! writing always feels like “the answer” to me…. sigh

SOMEONE SAVE ME lol. awwwwww poor little human screaming awww i feel so confused by you ……. what in the world could you be wanting ???? ooh ouch the world feels tiny these days. the globe feels all squished & covered in trash & hollowed-out….. awww little girl…. easy girl, easy baby… time ? time passes… hmmm…

“time passes, love waits” that’s something i read once & my college bf & i used to save it written down until one day without any ceremony or warning, he tore it in half to do something with part of the paper… i almost had a hear attack, but i didn’t say anything. feels happy for some reason remembering it…..

i want to love myself well. i feel scared to. seems mean. lol ok. that’s such a normal & boring response to that. i feel annoyed at myself. hahaha ok ok whatever. i’ll buy you a journal & get you the belly dance costume. everything else is pretty much on you lol…. ok : )

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:07pm
468: Daria says:

oh no i feel so to hear about sirens not dating

i feel sad “nothing i can do”

‘i dont have the words’

feels sad

sigh

im sorry im making you feel sad D

im here for you while you feel this

i support you

i see u

i love you

tight heart i love my tight heart

and pinched booty

i love my pinched booty

hmmmh

i feel more smily

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:08pm
469: Daria says:

im gonna keep taking care of me, and keep dating and keep putting myself out there so i can be seen!

i don’t have to hide myself yes! or make myself harder to see.

or cut off my favorite practicing and healing bringer

or a way of receiving yummy fun

ack i feel pushing against a membrane

i want my thoughts from the other day when i finally got it about “marketing”

that is its not lessening my value, its taking care of me,

putting my goddess sphere somewhere it can be seen! a place of honor, an ‘unprotected’ not behind the wall place

speaking well about her, creating beautiful words and images about her

ah there was More i was getting about it

and i felt like i saw it for the first time

more on this

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:12pm
470: Miss Bells says:

((((Daria))))
Maybe we date differently.
I am in contact with men every day. I am practicing with them. It’s just about HOW it happens.
I am doing the things that make me happy.
I am focusing on me.
I am curious about the world and the people I meet.
I have almost 5000 FB friends and 3000 fans.
I just don’t want to “manage” it all, so I just let it happen.
What you do seems perfect for you or you wouldn’t do it.
We each have our own ways.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:25pm
471: Miss Bells says:

I am going to put on my makeup now. I am getting dressed for the evening.
Off I go. An adventure.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:27pm
472: Belle says:

410

CS

If it works for you then don’t change anything!
That’s why I said to Tam, “Whatever is true for you is true for you – if you feel comfortable, then you do, and if you don’t, then you don’t.”

Asking provocative questions seems to be my natural gift, I was just thinking about the first time I experienced it and it was so amazing. I didn’t know why I was asking what I was asking, or where I was going with it…if you’ve seen Limitless and heard the guy talk about how after you take the drug, you just KNOW what to do, it was like that.

I always feel so magical when I’m in that space of asking questions and standing in the tension until the answer emerges.

I feel a little amused, because for so long I wanted to be a midwife but more and more it seems like my path is to midwife possibilities into being. I’ve noticed that it is very very difficult for some people to sit with the tension, waiting, while someone else struggles with their own answer. I find it to be so exciting, and when I do sessions with people I feel so much joy and laugh and laugh when they arrive at their own conclusions, they always get so excited

That being said, I’ll just put out my disclaimer that I have been known to contradict myself and do things I claim not to do…it’s a practice

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:28pm
473: Daria says:

more, i want to remember from that way of thinking where it all Made Sense yes

ok so im getting now that its a way of worship yes its not about outside or getting from/control its about

letting it Be seen and maybe it came from the Harvard 1st world language thing

i mean we don’t ‘need’ it right? ouch not feel good , its not about needing, we don’t ‘need’ anything k

no its about why NOT give myself a new language

why not let myself be heard in this knew language mmfffff

i feel panicked that i don’t remembr

i don’t remember clearly but i GET the message in my body yes

i GET about looking good and dressing well i GOT it in that thinking

and maybe it was about dressing well and how i want to dress well and when i feel not so good i don’t

and why WOULDN”T I WANT TO DRESS WELL?

WHY WouLDN”T I WANT TO BE SEEN?

that DOESN”T make sense and there it is

no reason to prove im complete or worthy by not dressing well ouch no ugh

am i still worthy if i treat myself bad?

no no

that no feel good

i am worthy!

i treat myself good!

i put myself and my beautiful sphere out where it can be seen, the Yummiest place

ah still feeling sad im not ‘ermembering’

ah i feel so panicked when i forget

ugh

i dont have it to share cuz i forget

i KNOW it tho i GOT it inside yes

i GOT why to market myself well

dress myself well

treat myself well

i want MORE

more ‘getting it’

sigh

i feel so sad when ‘i have no words’

i feel stuck on silent

and powerless

sigh

when i have words i feel … radiant. powerful. easy.

beautiful

i feel sad, small, not dressed well now

oh yes it was about SHOWING more of myself,
like revealing!

rather than even ‘trying’

‘revealing my feminine energy’

revealing my grandeur!

ok

majestic

yes this feels exciting

clap clap clap clap clap

more more insight more

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:29pm
474: Daria says:

Miss Bells – thanks for the hugs!

i feel disappointed that a Siren wouldn’t use all her avenues to be seen!

it also feels uncomfortable being ‘explained to’ i feel kinda tightened up with that

so frustrated you’re going over to that man’s house also!

hope you experience lots of joy and healing that you desire!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:33pm
475: Daria says:

Daria – I feel sad. can you tell me more?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:34pm
476: bloom-ing says:

& my other bf “broke the cookie”…. omg we like never ever recovered from that fight. we baked cookies together & two hearts like melted together & he got mad later & cracked it in half OMG he was crying so hard. aww i can’t believe they let the babies fall in love like that….. eeeeeee sad girl in the kitchen… & that was the last time i got turned on by kissing him….. we like never even kissed again really. what a sad end to a happy relationship. so so so much hurt. he literally told me he couldn’t make space for me in his life like i wanted because he was “becoming a man” awww how sweet…. he wanted us to remain together, but just not “date” like actually go on many dates or spend much time together ? sigh. i feel so glad to not live with that man, though i feel lots of gushing love toward him & also sadness that we aren’t friends anymore. & also i suppose a tiny bit guilty or reverse-jealous or something about giving my ex so much attention in my mind, BUT ! it’s all “Just stories” & i think about him just about as often as i think of everyone else i know. lol “just taking inventory” comes to mind & i just remembered that yesterday i decided to actually STOP taking inventory of my brain & memories, because that leads to story-telling & analyzing & assuming… & instead, i can take each fresh moment as it’s own unique Practice, & here i am doing it ! hoorah ! i’m Practicing Practicing – i’m practicing my Practice – do do do round round round feelings, like safe, like “we know where this is going” mmmmmmmmmmm tiny tiny humans i love you all SQUEEEE i hug you even though my arms are small, i hug everyone all the way around lol yummy i feel like i’m made of stretch-goo like those old dolls hehe…. mmmmmmmmm I LOVE YOU : ))) hehehe : )

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:41pm
477: Miss Bells says:

Daria
sometimes I feel TOO seen.
Overwhelmed.

I am going to look-listen-feel- and speak my feelings.

I expect to be treated like a Queen!

He did offer to come here–but I am still in disarray and need my private space to be mine alone for the time being.

If he EVER gets to be with me in my turret he will be a lucky man indeed.

I am so new to actually expressing my feelings.
Rori says they can turn on a dime when you really do “you” in a completely authentic way.

Maybe I haven’t inspired him up till now.
Maybe this is a tremendous opportunity to heal me and get the relationship I want.

If he still doesn’t step up–I will know what to do. and it won’t be stand there and beg him–or wait silently in the shadows. It will be to move on with my heart.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:41pm
478: Miss Bells says:

Facebook alone could take 8 hours a day if I let it.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:43pm
479: bloom-ing says:

i’m seeing a bit how weird i am. i feel afraid to trigger people, but i just want to try to say this & see how it feels or if it feels true.

a lot of the time, around many men, i have felt “irresistible,” even around taken men, even when i was taken.

i have felt that if i allowed at all, it could have been “on” YET i also do feel that always, i never ever ever gave even Yellow Light on that…

& i don’t trust other humans with “that kind of power”

oh ok, that’s not so scary. i mean, it’s flipping TERRIFYING lol, but a lot of it is just, ok, well trust yourself & trust your man, & trust all the humans anyway – who cares, right ?

right ! that’s my “easy way” go-to answer, right ? “aw, who cares ? you can’t MAKE anyone “behave” eh ? so just assume everyone’s already doing what you want & then when they aren’t you can choose your move.

awww WEIRD

ok well if that’s so easy then, what about my poor skin ? ouch awww baby i don’t know why we do that…..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:46pm
480: Tam says:

Jeepers, men everywhere here..one just flirted with me as I came out from the gym, me sweaty, him in suit… I said that I apologizse and feel soo bad to be all sweaty and him having to share the lift with me..he says: ‘you are obviously from England’
Tam batting eyelashes and saying ‘kind of’…
He was asking me all sorts of questions and then had to get out…just as well as I have too many CD’s as it is, hmmm but he was niiiiceeee….
It’s raining men..every specimen…la la la la

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:48pm
481: Belle says:

I’m feeling defensive and feeling the need to explain myself and
“fix” the perceived “contradictions” and do damage control
I feel a wave of shame in my belly
I feel scared
what if I’m not good enough?
good enough for what?
for life
well, what if?
doesn’t make sense does it
no
ooooohhhh
people can see my flaws
want to cover them up
quick quick!
make excuses for them
explain them
oh sh!t! she’s not perfect!
shame

show me this pattern…
a big golden cave
do you want to change?
the entrance collapses
a whole friggin reality tunnel just collapsed!
how interesting, I just thought of a woman I hadn’t thought of in ages, and of getting in touch with her.
(wake up! and be a beneficial presence on the planet!)

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:48pm
482: Starla says:

Everything’s gonna be ooookay:)

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:49pm
483: Daria says:

ok.. one message is to just sink into my sadness for now

hmmmh

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:51pm
484: Daria says:

ok i want to feel flooded and joyed with lots of inspirations and actions of mine to ‘market’ myself and put myself out in this way i ‘got’ that nite that feels good

i feel scared ill just keep sinking and feeling sad and i waon’t get swept up by this wave i want!!

booohooo hooo hoo

panicked feeling Daria i love you

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:54pm
485: smile says:

aw strummingman is poorly

He has arranged to see me lots. He rang to say he wishes he had me to take care of him right now, he complimented me on how caring I am as a person and this makes him feel good. He described what a scene in our living room would look like together. He talked about lots of plans he wants to do. He said smile, your always happy! your such a happy person, it makes me feel happy to be around you. He is coming round next Friday, he can’t eat well at the min as he’s poorly so he’s offered to take me out week after for that! oo it would feel great to get dressed up and eat out!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:56pm
486: bloom-ing says:

weird weird weird. i don’t have any problems, but my mind keeps making them & packaging them, & piling them up in front of my door…. hmmm……

ahhhh ! i have a big AH HA

that’s that same thing about the marianne williamson quote ? am i saying her name wrong ? anywayz. the girl who says (paraphrasing) not afraid of FAILURE, afraid of Power. hm, sure, i “buy it” … & that makes sense why i would just get overwhelmed by that energy — because it really is already everywhere !!

everyone already is entirely irresistible, like magnets, lol awww i love magnets ! aww it’s ok little girl…. i promise it will be ok. if you get pulled one direction, it will be ok; if cd gets pulled one direction, it will be ok. for right now, why don’t you just do yourself an imaginary favor & picture it like 2 cute magnets stuck together 4lyfe : ) lol : ))) yayyyy

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 1:57pm
487: Daria says:

still not sure why i feel so triggered. thank you for the trigger tho.

it feels great to feel so panicked and triggered lol.

im getting a chance to be with my feelings

also looking forward to taht wave of insight and creativity that i know is coming

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:04pm
488: smile says:

sirens, how would you respond to a man who said “I found the love of my life but I messed up…”
I would love to hear what you think?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:11pm
489: Heart says:

Yup I’m very tipsy now…
Would feel blissful if magic could rain down on Siren island….and we could all find our soul mates….and we could all feel adored and cherished and cared for…and loved…
and men would just be into us and faithful and magicians and kings and protectors and providers and men…
and there would be white horses or magic carpets or whatever you’re into…
and we would never have to feel sad or abandoned or jealous or not good enough or afraid…

all that would be so beautiful…
I feel happy sad.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:11pm
490: smile says:

heart, sounds lovely

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:12pm
491: Tam says:

oohhh Smile, is that what he said???? That he found the love of his life but he messed it up???
Ooooooooooooohhhhhh…I feel all warm, happy and excited reading that. Nobody has ever said anything like that to me…aw aw aw.
How special!!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:15pm
492: Heart says:

#485 Smile – you cant mess up with the right woman? …

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:15pm
493: Femininewoman says:

Smile maybe just (hand over heart) aaaaawwwwWw

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:23pm
494: smile says:

I responded by not saying anything actually, just smiled (I know he could feel this down the phone) and kind of made a nice noise with my breathing. Hard to make the noise on the blog, but My heart felt warmed.
night sirens x

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:30pm
495: smile says:

P.s Tam you’re such a magnet!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:33pm
496: MissStix says:

I feel blah flat right now and “I don’t care anymore” and “whatever”. Talked to moms. She’s awesome and very cool and I love her. And she says a man actually wants to buy the building and if we can get 850 K for it what do I think? And I said SOLD! and now I feel giggly because I would love to “let it go” and just buy me a little one bedroom and loft and live in lonesome bliss!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:39pm
497: Tam says:

Why do I feel like a failure right now?
I feel sad and hopeless and like I have been unable to change the old patterns by blaming. Pretending in feeling messages but the blame was there.
I now feel that I am to blame for the push/pull and hot/cold and I have the urge to fix it, but it’s not fixable and it’s not my place.
I feel inadequate and sad and sorry that my issues got muddled up again with his and the mess is perfect. I feel exasperated and hopeless for this to ever change.
Stuck.
Stuck stuck in this pattern. Forever and ever.
Well, at least I tried to change something.
(((((me)))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:40pm
498: Radlove says:

Today I got a certified letter in the mail. My lease ends October 31st, and I am required to leave by then. As it stands now, my only option is to stay in the basement of my friend 2 hours away. which is 3 hours away from my friends, family, and church.

I dread moving and packing. I dread dealing with my nasty landlord. I feel heavy hearted and overwhelmed. I feel heavy hearted.

On the bright side, I got calls for 6 new technical writing positions.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:42pm
499: Tam says:

The other thing that made me feel super sad was just seeing that my exbf is on POF and how he has changed. He looks grotesque to me and I just felt sad, he looks very skinny and he must have died his hair from grey/blonde to dark brown..he does not even look like himself and I barely recognised him.
He looks weird.
(((((exbf))))) you’re a good man.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:43pm
500: Daria says:

wow Radlove ! 6!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:44pm
501: Daria says:

i feel kinda sick from the position im sitting in

i will feel better after i do my movements

i don’t want to do my movements yet

i feel SAAADDDDDD
because of my secret thing

ok because i set my intention to be feeling Happy to call and say Happy Birthday to my Godson on Sunday and

i still feel kinda sad, scared triggered

wayyy better but still feeling angry and ahead of time pist and… this is a pattern

((((Daria))))

thanks horse im healing

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:47pm
502: MissStix says:

But now I feel kind of NOOOOO I put my blood, sweat, and tears into it and it’s mine and you can’t buy it humph. Even if some silly girl is a pain in my rear.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:47pm
503: Daria says:

Daria

you let me down a lot but youre also there a lot

youre just not good enough for me

but youre all i got

i feel stuck with you i feel frustrated

sometimes i dont want to live with you

sometimes i feel ecstatic to be living with you

i want to have you NEVER let me down what you think?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:49pm
504: Daria says:

I think i can’t do that

ok then I don’t want you. I want to be someone who NEVER lets me down actually

so im gonna lean back and take care of myself

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:49pm
505: Daria says:

ok I can do it, i can NEVER let you down

hmm you’re lying just so you can be close to me

i know i am im desperate please dont leave me

ok i won’t

im taking you with me

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:50pm
506: MissStix says:

My happy bedroom with the deep dark hardwood I layed with my own hands. purple and black and silver. I could paint again…I could do it all again? I dunno. So much work. Only one place though…Not 3. The whole thing would be just mine and owned outright. Oh that might feel nice…I will never live with a man again? Whaaaaaat? Why do you say that brain? Well…This man I love, he ain’t movin into a place you own. Urrrrrrggggghhhhh why do I believe this even still?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:52pm
507: Annie says:

sigh.
Oh Joy.
I felt rage been bubbling for a few hours then bam.
Out it came.
No catching it for me today.
Nope out it came.
I feel glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of it.
Oh well it is what it is.
So now what?

Projected thought expressed as feelings at me.
I feel you are rude.
I attacked big time.
Not at the thoughts of me being rude.
I don’t care too hoots if anyone thinks I am rude.
grr but how can someone say ” I feel you are rude” That’s their bleeding thoughts, projections and judgments about me not their feelings.
I wanted to attack so badly and did.
So when challenged then admitted that they were angry because they thought I was rude.

I feel open to hearing that.
Only thing is I really do not care that they think i am rude and apparently I should.
I just wanted to lash out, doesn’t feel good that I hit the point of no return though and didn’t catch it in time.

I wanted to push them away.
I didn’t want them anywhere near me.
Shouted for them to get out
OMG I wished them bad.
I hoped they got cold and wet and chocked on their food.
WOW. I really meant it too.

Reality I am not nice!

I feel calmer now they are nowhere near me.
Such rage.

WOW.

I feel a bit shaky inside.

And breath.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:53pm
508: Daria says:

I don’t like myself very much

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:53pm
509: Daria says:

I don’t LIKE being with my feelings i don’t want to

ok i WILL feel better after i do my movement stretches

wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah booty tight i dont WAAAAAAAAAAAANT TOOOOOOOOOO

i love your tantrum

how are you feeling

DESPERATEEEEEEEEe

i love my desperation

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 2:54pm
510: Daria says:

speaking of need for romantic and sexual attention

its time to practice the Chi Gong Deer Exercise

after my stretches

ohhh!

i forgot how easy it iS!

def will practice

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:00pm
511: Annie says:

Daria.

I remember reading an article about not wanting to do something and doing it anyway and how that was not good.

That is was better to wait until we wanted to before we did it.

Oh I feel bugged I can’t remember why.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:00pm
512: Rori Raye says:

Heather – I have so much to say – and I think my programs say it all, or most of it, and then would encourage you to try private coaching – perhaps with Dominique at http://www.sexandheart.com. It sounds like the stress you’re under is coming from so many places – and I see everything you’ve written as a kind of response to stress, rather than a sinking into pleasure. If you can find someone to help you with this (please, please go through Modern Siren over and over and over and over and over again!), I think not only might this man light up for you again – you’d feel so much better. Brava to you for overcoming the depression, the arguing and the sex drive differences – and perhaps those things are at core a problem for the relationship that he sees – and just saying that you have different natures. Circular Dating isn’t necessarily about ‘dating” – so do it. Get Targeting Mr. Right for help with it. Love, Rori

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:03pm
513: Rori Raye says:

Annie – I’m letting your comments through – and just want to ask you to see if you can rewrite them so they’re not giving OPINIONS, or trying to help someone by giving advice. I’m working on putting “guidelines” onto a page (I thought I had already, but apparently I never did…). We’ve discovered here that we all work so much better as a community when we only use feeling messages – and practice exactly what you say here – focusing on and expressing our own feelings and reactions. Love, Rori

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:07pm
514: Tam says:

I want to feel good and what do I do?
Go on fb and see that he interacted with one of his women friends….and now I feel even worse. Not doing that again, was a relapse.
Urrrrrrhh
I feel bad right now.
I learnt so much, am I throwing it all away now?
No.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:14pm
515: Daria says:

Michelle Obama once said, “Barack never promised me riches-that’s not why I married him. He promised me a life that would be interesting and fulfilling, and so far, he’s delivered on his promise.”

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:26pm
516: Femininewoman says:

((((((((((Daria))))))))))))

I say I am a sucker for kids. I feel so alive and young when I see their beautiful faces. I absolutely love their energy

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:32pm
517: Daria says:

Annie – haha I lolled!

I feel delighted as that’s what *I* always say.

and yep, I’m waiting and loving my lil girl till she wants to

i know she will

she will want to call our friend my Godson too i know

i trust her feelings

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:32pm
518: Daria says:

Thank you. I feel so glad to have read that. I feel uplifted.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:33pm
519: Tam says:

Ok, I am forcing myself to go on this date, sad and flat as I am feeling..I am forcing myself to be pleasant company. It will be fine.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:33pm
520: Daria says:

hehe thanks Feminine Woman

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:34pm
521: Daria says:

ouch forcing

ouch pleasant company

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:35pm
522: Tam says:

yes, Daria, but it still feels better to sit in MrNap’s place and feel sorry for myself. So hopefully it will make me feel better..we are going to a nice place.
I can flip this.
I can, I can.
Ouch, yes.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:37pm
523: Daria says:

i am feeling happy and loved doing EFT clap clap clap

i’ve discovered that my dad was feeling all anxious and panicked and kinda ‘not skilled enough” with finances and then was all controlling about them

and my mom felt all unworthy so never asked for anything but just let him be in charge of it. including desires or saying no to stuff taht wasn’t ‘reasonable’ immediately agreeing etc.

instead of requiring and being worshipped and having desires and beint the receiving center being nurtuured

and it felt distant between them and sad for that.

and me too i felt unworthy to ask, id be evaluated if my desire was worthy or what

and i tapped all that from my 1st chakra and now ifeel happy!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:39pm
524: Tam says:

MrNap is going to be here on the weekend also, from bad to worse. I want a bed that’s mine

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:40pm
525: Tam says:

it will be fine, I will go to the beach and slather on the love…with sun and sand and sea..

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:40pm
526: Siren Angel says:

Lilibee @52,

Wow that’s interesting about the left side… I always lean to the left. When I step one foot back though it’s usually the left… don’t know if that is more feminine as right foot is then at the front even though it makes me lean back left… I feel confused.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:40pm
527: Daria says:

Tam – yeah if that was me I’d feel so excited to practice a new tool. Maybe total silence with lean back body language and feeling message only… that always feels so mysterious and ‘slow breathing’ to me

or i could also practice Shimmery breath fountain from top of my head

or i could practice hmmm… ordering something expensive from the menu… oh wow triggeriiing!!!! not ready for it yet hehe

babysteps

i could share feelings about ordering something expensive and ask what he thinks… maybe… hmmm

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:41pm
528: Radlove says:

My feeling message to my landlord:

I feel heavy hearted to see such cold proceedings. I don’t deserve this kind of treatment. I feel like I’ve time warped into some unknown battle scene. I feel like raising my arms, holding a white flag, saying, “Hey, I’m not the enemy! The war is over!” I have been honestly doing my best and honestly struggling. I have never been more than two weeks late with rent.

Another church is contributing $50 toward my October rent. My friend has lent me the money for the remaining half, and that went out in the mail today.

I will do my best to be prepared when you come tomorrow (Saturday) at 12 pm to show the house; however, I have been thrusting the bulk of my time and energy into job hunting and seeking assistance. I am behind in housework as a result. It would feel far easier if you could please wait until next Saturday to start showing it. What do you think?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:41pm
529: Tam says:

Thank you Daria, cool stuff…as for ordering the expensive, too true, not ready for it yet
I feel smiley now, wow, a teent tiny shift.
Thank you, Lady!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:43pm
530: Daria says:

any ladies here that aren’t triggered by ordering something expensive from the menu on the first date?

how do you handle it, any tools, what is your attitude mindset, how would you handle if he says something unsupportive…?

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:48pm
531: Daria says:

Tam – yay wow cool! I feel happy

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 3:48pm
532: Radlove says:

My landlord’s response:

Sorry you feel embattled.

There is no “treatment”.

The lease is up, and based on the consistant lateness of honoring your contract,

the lease has not been renewed.

We have been severeley impacted by all of our tenents not fulfilling their obligations.

We work extreamly hard to provide safe, sanitary, and pleasant properties.

We have to pay the property taxes and sewage/water bills.

We have to meet state and local regulations for lead and sanitary conditions.

We have to keep the roof from leaking and the furnace and electric service safe and to code.

We have to monitor our tenents just so they mow the lawn and pick up the dog-sh/it.

And then, when they move, we have the pleasure of cleaning up after our tenents when they leave.

I understand housekeeping is not your forte’, just give us 15 minutes for the

prospective tenent to see the layout.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:03pm
533: April Rose says:

Silver Moonbeam!!!

Hello darling! Great to hear your news, and see you posting here again.
Yay.
I feel smiley.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:05pm
534: Radlove says:

Daria,

530 – I typically ask him what he is getting, then I base what I order around the price of his. I feel really ill at ease around the whole financial piece.

There is a man I dated briefly last summer who handled the masculine end of bill paying with grace, and I felt completely comfortable rapidly. At one restaurant, he ordered one of the most expensive things on the menu, so I did too.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:06pm
535: Daria says:

wow this second chakra tapping feels so fulfilling

i went from numbness terror distance imaginig asking my parents to anger!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:06pm
536: Daria says:

Radlove – i’ve handled it the same so far – looking at what he’ll order

I would feel good to feel comfortable ordering something expensive if I want it, without feeling terrified of what might happen

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:09pm
537: Daria says:

i don’t think im worthy of being here if im not doing something to help/benefit humanity

hmmm

i got that from my dad

he said ‘having fun’ was not a good life value ouch

he judged it as stupid shallow, disgusting, turn off, dumb, bimbo, not a woman he respects

ouch

i want to heal all this

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:15pm
538: MissStix says:

I feel spread very thin. A tight taught thin smelly yellow rubber layer of blech. Pulled out from the left of center. Poke me. Whatever. Bounce back. Shit. And I don’t want to be here and I do want to cry. I don’t want to be left, but I don’t need to be right either. I label you, stix, as selfish. And feel the fear in this. And feel the love in this. I hear the music and I feel an ache in my neck. Pulse pulsing. Throbbing. Silken in texture but not un-broken…How do I do it? Push on. Thrust your energy on forward. Look back, but don’t go back. Feel it! Feel what exactly? What is important to feel? It all. Oh well that helps. Right. So close to stepping. For no other reason then I just want to! Ok? And again…I label you stix, as selfish. Feel the fear in that. Feel the love in that. Fuck. I have everything. I have nothing at all.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:16pm
539: April Rose says:

Goodnight yummy ladies,

I’m only popping in and out very quickly.

Wish I had time to be on the blog much more.

Got a date tomorrow, withna man who tells me he is sexually dominant, and that he is this way because he is all about the woman’s pleasure.

Hmmm…I won’t find out about it first hand on the first date, will I? – unless there is a way to do it in one hour in a coffee shop!

Will keep you posted

Nite.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:16pm
540: Radlove says:

Daria,

536 – Yes, it would. One notable time was when the date asked me to pick a local restaurant as we drove around, after we found out our intended restaurant was much too far. I picked a steak house with which I wasn’t familiar. The prices started at $25, and entrees did not include vegetables, salad, or anything extra.

I ordered a 16 oz steak dish, for $25, feeling really uncomfortable, because I felt very hungry, and I didn’t want to eat a full pound of meat. Yet I didn’t want to order side dishes for $4 to $6 each!

I watched him order the steak plus a $6 soup, so I ordered the same. I was so hungry that I ate the whole steak anyway.

I felt horrible all evening with no vegetable enzymes to help break down the meat in my digestive system. At 5 am, I vomited. Bad memory.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:17pm
541: April Rose says:

Daria,

I think having fun is a worthy life purpose!

On the other hand, I really don’t know. It involves me making judgements and deciding my opinions on it.

All I know is that having fun FEELS GOOD and I want to feel good!

Hugs to you, luscious lady.

Goodnight

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:19pm
542: Femininewoman says:

Dara I try not to focus on cost. I check in with myself to see what I feel like eating

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:19pm
543: MissStix says:

I feel meh. I feel no caring feelings towards my post going through or not. Maybe I don’t want it to. I don’t want this beer either but i’m drinking it down anyways.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:20pm
544: MissStix says:

Oh look my period is 5 days away…

Haha

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:23pm
545: Annie says:

513: Rori says:

“Annie – I’m letting your comments through – and just want to ask you to see if you can rewrite them so they’re not giving OPINIONS, or trying to help someone by giving advice. I’m working on putting “guidelines” onto a page (I thought I had already, but apparently I never did…). We’ve discovered here that we all work so much better as a community when we only use feeling messages – and practice exactly what you say here – focusing on and expressing our own feelings and reactions. Love, Rori”

I will do my best Rori.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:25pm
546: MissStix says:

This beer tastes delicious. Cold, bitter and tangy. Tiny little bubbles biting my tongue. Go ahead and bite sexy bubbles it feels real.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:29pm
547: Daria says:

FeminineWoman – thanks! that feels helpful! I can DO THAT! yayyyy hehe

i will not even look at cost

then if cost is an issue i will feel humiliated, but will get great practice at dropping him in my eyes, not me

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:40pm
548: Daria says:

thanks April Rose!

I will def heal this!

It’s already healing by my becoming aware of it

I think its a big part of whats keeping me ‘stuck’ and obsessing about issues that are ever grander, even as i grow in power i just kinda focus on more and more

i want to take all my obsessive thinking powers and focus them on me and my well being as i – choose to believe – that is most powerful for healign the world

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:42pm
549: Radlove says:

This discussion is the discussion of how I did not honor MY inner self by choosing something that I didn’t want.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:53pm
550: Daria says:

Hehe My lil girl wants to do stretches now

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:56pm
551: Daria says:

((((Radlove)))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:57pm
552: Annie says:

434: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

Scarlett, Tam, Miss Bells.

I feel sad reading about what has happened.

It feels awful to read about women not being happy and focusing on their happiness.

I want us all to feel better and focus on being happy.

I want us all to choose the best match for us.
The most compatible man who wants to and is able to give us what we want.

I don’t know about you, but
I don’t want any man who doesn’t feel compelled to and is willing and able to offer me what I want.

It feels better to me to be by myself than with someone that is incompatible to what I want and need as a woman.
I don’t want or need any particular man to become that man.

I just want the best man for me.
And the best man for all of you.

I do this to as do most of us as that is sadly what we have been socially conditioned and trained to do.

It’s getting the focus back on ourselves and making us the center like Rori says. On what we want and the relationship we want not focus in on or making any ONE MAN our center.
And then the RIGHT MAN for us will come along and want to and be able to give us what we want.
And that is what Rori means by this thread and VIBE.

When we chose our words and give these speeches we have to be at the place and coming from the vibe that this is my speech, this is how I feel and what i want.
And not be in a place of needing and wanting it to be HIM that gives us that.
He will feel it if you are coming from that place, that vibe.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 4:57pm
553: Daria says:

im feeling so happy right noww aaaaaaahhhh

i love this EFT so dope dope dope

i luv this feeling

high on EFT and i aitn not getting smaller

getting bigger no count time no hour

powe powe power

lean in like the tower

got my candles burnin an im feeling lame stroller

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:04pm
554: Radlove says:

Thanks, Daria, hugs to you.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:06pm
555: Annie says:

434: Redo,

Scarlett, Tam, Miss Bells.

I feel sad to read when other women are sad.

It feels awful.

I want all women to be happy.
I don’t know about you but I only want to be in a relationship with a man who is the best match for me.
I only want a man who wants to, shows me with his actions he is able and feels compelled to offer me what I want and need as a woman.
I don’t want or need any particular man to become that man.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:15pm
556: Annie says:

434: Annie says:

“Scarlett, Tam, Miss Bells.”

Redo.

I feel sad.

It feels awful to read about other women being sad.
I want us all to be happy.
And be with the best man for us.

I only want to be in a relationship with the most compatible man for me.
One who wants to, is able and feels compelled to offer me what I want and need as the woman I am.
I don’t want or need any particular man to become that man.

I

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:30pm
557: Daria says:

yay 3rd chakra eft is giving me my answers about putting myself out there

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:30pm
558: Annie says:

434: Annie says:

Redo.

I feel sad.

It feels awful to read about other women being sad.
I want us all to be happy.
And be with the best man for us.

I only want to be in a relationship with the most compatible man for me.
One who wants to, is able and feels compelled to offer me what I want and need as the woman I am.
I don’t want or need any particular man to become that man.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:32pm
559: Daria says:

woooh this feels triggering and EXCITING and i feel so good after!

I feel so glad to re remember this tool for making myself happy consistently!

tHANK you for BEIng TheRE FOR ME DARIA!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:43pm
560: Daria says:

“I only want to be in a relationship with the most compatible man for me.
One who wants to, is able and feels compelled to offer me what I want and need as the woman I am.
I don’t want or need any particular man to become that man.”

wow Annie this post feels so powerful!

thank u!

he feels compelled to offer me what I want and need as the woman I am.

oh wow yeah!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:45pm
561: Daria says:

this feels so powerful i feel squeezy nose before tears feeling

i feel moved trembly

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 5:45pm
562: Femininewoman says:

Hope this is okay

See tapping below designed to help you, too!

XOXO,
Margaret

Tapping to Kick Your Own But*t into High Gear:

Start tapping on the Karat*e chop point:
Well, here I am again, with not enough money coming in and dang, it stinks. I feel panicky, worried, and disappointed. I really thought the universe would support me better than this. I really thought people would find me and line up outside!

Here I am again trying to ignore the reality of my income and still have faith that this is my life purpose, and it’s rather hard today. There truly is NOT enough money to support me coming in and it’s really not fun or inspiring.

Well, here I am again, just like last week, doing my best to be positive but feeling a bit frozen and unsure. I don’t know how to change this, but I am open to it shifting! I need more income and I am willing to put out more energy to get it! So,I guess I am ready-ish for a new challenge!

Continue tapping through the points:

My income stinks right now
So according to Margaret
It’s time for some tough-love
And self-but*t kicking
I CAN do more and I DO want more $$
I don’t really know what to do
But right now, I am open and asking
Show me the way, universe!
Guide me and nudge me to action
I promise I will listen and move!
I need to reach more people
I want to connect with more people
I want to share my gifts with more people
And receive more income for that
So I am open and ready for a challenge
This is GO –TIME!
With a pinky-toe more faith and courage
I can move a mountain!
So I am on it today and asking myself new questions
What can I do today?
Where can I go tomorrow?
Who can I talk to right now?
I love sharing my gifts and what I do
And I love being SEEN for my gifts and what I do
So yes, I want more of that and I am READY
To do my part in making it happen
I am the sun, and I am now shining brightly
Showing and speaking my gifts and intentions
For more to see, in more places!
I don’t have all the answers,
but I will go where I am drawn, I promise!
I honor myself now because this is hard,
Different and uncomfortable
And I am doing it anyway.
Yes, to more sharing!
Yes, to more business!

Yes, to more income!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:00pm
563: Daria says:

Thank you Daria for doing all that amazing EFT for me

Thank you for doing that wow stretch for me!

thank you for paying attention to new specifics

thank you for admiring me in the mirror

thank you for getting me water and drinking me some

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:25pm
564: Daria says:

thank you for doing those tweaks that wound up with beautiful pictures tonite!

thank you for appreciating my mom’s loving energy at goodnite

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:26pm
565: Daria says:

thank you for leaning back with my dad

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:27pm
566: LiliBee says:

554:

Daria,

I had never heard of EFT tapping until I read your posts about it here on the blog.

I’ll never say THANK YOU enough!

I feel so amazed at how it shifts my vibe every time

I tapped to Love Magnet with Brad Yates on Youtube last night.
I’ve been feeling lovy dovy towards every human being all day today.
I feel so warm and soft like a puffy marshmellow.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:28pm
567: Radlove says:

I want to go far, far away.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:30pm
568: Daria says:

Thanks FeminineWoman!

I tapped to that… and changed the words so for me theres no butt kicking but self love and encouragement

heheh yum

i feel happy and gooey pleasant

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:32pm
569: Daria says:

Yay Lilibee!

if you want to make a donation to me for being glorious and sharing my gifts, my paypal is magicgoddessmedicinewoman@gmail.com

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:34pm
570: Daria says:

((((((((((((((Daria))))))))))))))))

you are so brave to take care of you that way!

((((((((((((((Daria))))))))))))))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:36pm
571: LiliBee says:

526:

Hi SA,

I’m finally tapping into my feminine energy and it feels so scary.

I’m trying to get to feel trusting, safe and comfortable to lean on my feminine side, so I can feel that way about being in my feminine energy.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:36pm
572: Daria says:

i love my tight booty cheek

sigh

i love my head talking

i love my cringe

i love my smile

i reaally love my smile

i love my clapping hands

i love my running away

i love my fear!

gahuh

i love my tingly thigh

i love my sticky out tongue

i love me

you ROCK Daria, for real

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:39pm
573: Daria says:

i feel like running away “i can’t handle this”

more 3rd chakra tapping?

but i did it!

high 5 D

huge babystep

mhhmmm

yes and and loving me brings even more joy in the world

yum

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:40pm
574: Daria says:

tight booty

voting for Daria!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:41pm
575: bloom-ing says:

“jxsus, etc.” by Wilco

Jxsus, don’t cry
You can rely on me, honey
You can combine anything you want
I’ll be around
You were right about the stars
Each one is a setting sun

Tall buildings shake
Voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords
Strung down your cheeks
Bitter melodies turning your orbit around

Don’t cry
You can rely on me honey
You can come by any time you want
I’ll be around
You were right about the stars
Each one is a setting sun

Tall buildings shake
Voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords
Strung down your cheeks
Bitter melodies turning your orbit around

Voices whine
Skyscrapers are scraping together
Your voice is smoking
Last cigarettes are all you can get
Turning your orbit around

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 6:42pm
576: Daria says:

This is great triggering practice.

I got that I am here to use Roris tools!

So that would look like: I’d feel thrilled to receive a donation, for being glorious and sharing my gifts. My paypal is magicgoddessmedicinewoman@gmail.com

It could even be… If you feel you’ve received value from me, and you want to help support me in being glorious and sharing my gifts, I’d feel thrilled to receive a donation.

Or…

I’d feel thrilled to receive a donation, if you feel you’ve received value from me and want to support me I’m being glorious and sharing my gifts.

That could even go under any piece I write.

I want to offer my coaching and spiritual gifts to all,

Instead of charging , on donations.

That way some people will feel like I do sometimes and donate a lot!

And I will feel magical and powerful.

And I won’t ‘have to’ charge people.

So what happens when there’s lots of people? Intuition will tell me.

And I want to rewrite my dating profile.

To say more about being a spiritual goddess, and more authentic, like about street tolerance being core important to me, even tho I’m all pacifist, and about living on intuition and energy.

And about natural birth attacent parenting and unschooling.

And about building a natural house in brazil.

And committment to spiritual depth and respect in relationship And full honesty.

And about feeling sexually inexperienced still and wanting ti develop my pleasure capacity before and during marriage.

And about feeling drawn and thrilled ewith being seen and heard limelight style and dancing and singing and

And about sharing languages and foods, I learn his he learns mine. And about living in diff places.

And bring supported by a man who feels compelled to offer me my every desire. Massages, nutritious food selected by my intuition, living diff places.

And man living at home not leaving out of home to provide, having a home based practice.

And being the tree of the womb of the world and man ego wants to water me.

Yeahhhh deep

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:23pm
577: Daria says:

I’m trusting lil girl. Tomorrow she wants to experiment e doing the multiple stretches early.

And first she wants qi gong women deer move

And tonite she wanted to brush her hair. Yay thank u .

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:25pm
578: Daria says:

Feeling so sleepy

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:26pm
579: Brandylion says:

Linda, #175: You have said it very well–that you loved the man he was under all the layers of his stuff, the man who peaked out once in a while but never fully emerged or stayed out. That is exactly how I feel about my last man, too.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:34pm
580: Brandylion says:

*peeked out

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:35pm
581: Tam says:

Just reporting back from my date with Shorty English CD. Had a fun time, he is a very nice man and very clever and obviously reflective. He can do relationship, he has been married and admits his mistakes, and he can take care and be masculine and everything else.
He is respectful and kind and funny.
And as I get home, I realise that MrP has not made an effort to be in contact and I see that he has done more stuff to move to Europe and subscribed to websies or whatever and told his/my common friends about this….I feel turned off that he is rather doing that than meeting with me. That’s what he wants to do so no need to feel angry. However,
I choose to believe that he is a goner and has only his move on his mind. He will say this is the reason why he can’t do relationship. Last time it was his business going under, the time before then it was something else. There will always be something.
He is not interested in a relationship and probably only marginally in me. I feel stupid for assuming anything else.
He could have asked me to do something this weekend, and he didn’t.
I will see the reality for what it is.
I feel sad but also hopeful that yes, I can do real relationship with someone, who has something to offer to me and is into me.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 7:52pm
582: Turquoise says:

Hi Sirens,

Ugh…. I’ve found out in the last 24 hours that two couples I thought were really happy and doing well, are getting divorced. The one I know better, she’s gorgous, amazing body, my age, and with all that, she’s down to earth, so generous, fun…he’s early 50′s, and ok looking, but pleasant, fun to be around,it looks like she keeps him young. They’ve been together for 13 years, have two young girls, own a very successful business, travel often, have a gorgeous home, actually had each others names tatooed on their ring fingers, I really thought they’d make it. And he cheated on her.

This makes me feel like wtf is the point of all this. If this beautiful, amazing siren that I know to be a wonderful human being, can’t keep her husband, what the heck chance to I have of starting over now, meeting someone that I don’t plan to have children with and bond that way, with my extra weight, frizzy hair, twangs of self doubt and jealous feelings and 2kids of my own… what chance do I have of being one of the FEW people who stays married to someone they love so much?

The other couple was my 8th grade boyfriend and his high school sweet heart. They’ve also been married 13 years, but together for over 20. Again, two young children, and he said all they do is fight. Now this woman, is not very attractive, and he’s a cutie, yet I get the feeling that she’s leaving him!

I’m so turned off of trying to have a relationship right now. I’m really not sure what the point is anymore.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:30pm
583: Femininewoman says:

((((((((((((((((((((turquoise))))))))))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tam))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:41pm
584: Turquoise says:

Is this site working? Where is everyone? I got to catch up on the blog, but heading to bed now. Long day, and it’s 1:30 here.

Radlove…. I’m sorry. Ugh, what a tough situation. I know how much you loved that house. I hope something better turns up quickly! Thinking of you.

Silver Moonbeam, so happy to see you here!

C and his gf came to pick up the kids and I absolutely LOVE that I don’t feel any longing or desire for him. At all! It’s almost shocking to me!

His girlfriend tries so hard to be nice. She told me how great the color I was wearing looking on me, complimented my home, we discussed decorating ideas, it’s very pleasant. He did start to give me a hard time because our youngest misplaced something she needs for tomorrow, and I said she’d have to use her sisters, and he gave me a little lip saying or you could just find it, and something on the verge of snide… and I just said something like, can you ever hold back that tone in your comment? He chuckled and said no…. but it diffused the situation and that was the end of it. So, no stress or hard feeling or tension, and no defensive comeback. I’ll see them for at the game tomorrow, but that is it for this trip! Yeah me!

Mr. C. came and cut my grass today, I love that so much. I know I could hire some kid to come do it, or get my lawnmower fixed and do it myself, but I really apprecaite that he’s willing to take the time out of his day, bring over his lawnmower and take care of it for me. I asked what I could do for him (we seem to trade favors and chores, but lately he’s done more for me) and he said he’d owed me that for awhile, so nice, and works well with my new way of doing things, which has been to not help or do things for him. He’s better now. He doesn’t need me to help like that. We did talk about the work party thing he wanted me to go to, and he admitted that he handled it all wrong. I didn’t go, did sound like fun to meet his boss and work friends, I didn’t want to be there with another woman who liked him. That feels icky! He texted me to tell me he brought his son with him, and I was right, she wanted it to be a date. He was glad he took his son. He felt thatsince he’d told her that they weren’t a good match, it wouldn’t work out, that any future seeing each other was understood that was just as friends. I doubted she was seeing it that way, and he told me I’m an oracle. I also predicted his sister wouldn’t come, and it would feel even more akward. He still says he’s open to anything with us, if it geels right and makes sense for us to be together, we will. I don’t know. No waiting around and not expecting anything. After hearing about my friends divorcing, I’m seriously second guessing what I want and feeling doubtful. I just want to be happy and enjoy my life. I’m feeling you Starla.

So, I know I’m rambling… need to get to bed and up early.

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:51pm
585: Turquoise says:

Thank you FW. Hugs to you too!

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 10:55pm
586: Daria says:

1244: Gloria says:

Rori, I recently began dating an ex whom i dated 5 years ago. We have been dating for 3 months now. The reason we broke up then was because his friends came 1st. This time he’s been very sweet and affectionate. He contacted me everyday, he would hold my hand as we walked, he would hug and kiss me. He came to my home and hung out with my kids (he already knows them), he even introduced me to all his friends as his girlfriend. Then one day, after yet another great date ..he dissapears, no contact. Yet, days later, i see him online complimenting another girl’s picture. So i wrote him and asked him what happened, why the sudden change. I told him that i felt sad and confused. That i saw some things that i didn’t like. And that i would only continue to see him if he wasn’t seeing anyone else, cause i don’t want to waste my time.

His response was: “I haven’t texted you because i went over on my phone minutes. And i was only complimenting that girl. Who cares? guys flirt with you all the time and i don’t say anything. Besides, she friend requested me. And i shouldn’t have been calling you my girlfriend, because i don’t think we’re ready for that.”

I then replied: “I thought we were having a great time. I saw a lot of potential for us this time. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, instead, my emotions were played with and i get lead on. I really cared about you, i didn’t deserve that.”

It’s been a week and i’ve yet to hear from him. So i deleted him as a friend. I don’t understand what happened. I’m heartbroken & confused. I thought we were going to get back together. I don’t know what to think or do now. Please help -G

Friday, 5 October 2012 @ 8:50pm

1245: Rori Raye says:

Gloria, Welcome and it’s not important to know what happened. You handled it fine. Just keep Circular Dating now that you’re free of the “girlfriend” label, and continue to date him if you can handle it without getting attached to what it all means. Things work out over time, and the time is handled by building friendship while you keep the attraction going without investing yourself more than he invests himself. Love, Rori

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:28am
587: Daria says:

Wooh I just woke up from a triggering dream.

Breathe

I feel ‘tuckered out’ body wise right now.

Like after workout.

Uff so glad I’m not in the dream

I was dreaming of actually being booked by police and

I was actually speaking up for my rights and asking for all necessary information. Saying that I would take legal action. I sounded believable too as in I seemed to know how the sueing process goes. I still felt extremely truggered tho.

Oh dream I love you.

I feel uncomfortable saying that and I love my discomfort.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:39am
588: Smile says:

Things work out over time, and the time is handled by building friendship while you keep the attraction going without investing yourself more than he invests himself. Love, Rori

If I could I would put this in bold for me… Without investing yourself more than he invests himself.

This feels good to read as I wake up.

I feel ready to start my day.

I’m going to treat myself to a lovely cup of English breakfast tea.

It would feel good to have a man bring it to me in bed.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:44am
589: Tereana says:

Yeah he loves me

Not that it does me any good if he’s still a doofus. Lol (I am of course talking about vman ; )

Meanwhile, I have a date with a purely-for-fun cd tomorrow. And tonight, I received a (sort of) proposal over the phone. Was he serious? I think he kind of was. And I’m not sure if it could work. I hardly know the guy. Seems crazy. Like an arranged marriage or something. I told him I would think about his question. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what any of it means.

Wait, I do know.

It means I have enormous power here. It means I get to choose – between him, and him, and him, and him, and so many other guys who all want to be with me.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:48am
590: Smile says:

I just turned over, I imagined strummingman lying there next to me. He brushed my hair out of my face and kissed me on the forehead, then said I’ll go get you a cup of tea beautiful.

This is what I want universe

Please bring it to me.

Sirens, what is the tool called where Rori suggests imagining your perfect relationship…?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:54am
591: Smile says:

I feel all warm and yummy with my thoughts.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:55am
592: Daria says:

I’m realizing I have a lot of professional ‘words’ actually it’s just somehow I was beating myself up and it was getting suppressed/lost. Now that I’m open to learning this 1st world language – eek fear — I seem to have started busting out with it.

Grow grow grow.

Also I’m getting NVs that I’m shunned on the blog now (wow I wrote on the block.. ?) after inviting to donate to me.

Nd then my supportive inner voice kicked in abd said you rock for taking care of you this way, it’s just like tapping we did and babysteps to being powerful and getting needs met. And if you receive judgement it may be that others not comfortable taking care of themselves that way, and you standing in your power will free them.

So anyone feels free anytime to ask for their needs met, even for money. Wow so much shame healed!

I know I would judge people for asking fit money in exchange for healing knowledge efforts, so I do the donation thing, but also I’m healing that.

And it the others responsibility to choose, and if they feel obligated by my asking it’s also their responsibility. They will thank me for triggering them.

I can heal with this babysteps. I rock. Voice says I will become annoying, and that might be, until the anxiety I feel eases around this. Some people like Rori and Raegen from dances w fat are so graceful in asking for money thing.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:56am
593: Daria says:

It’s an honor giving to me. And it feels good and fulfilling and safe!

Not creepy or scary or icky or less than or humiliating or like ‘losing something and having less’

That’s the vibe I will have, the ill have More by giving to Dsria vibe, and I feel great seeing her receive.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:58am
594: Smile says:

Tam, English cd sounds lovely!

I wonder how it would feel for you to take your energy away from mrP for a while?

Ps I’m coming over to your beach today in my mind, the water looks lovely and feels inviting!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 1:00am
595: Smile says:

Daria, I appreciate you!
The only triggers around this that come up for me are not ones of donating but my NV’s about revealing my true identity and I don’t feel safe sharing money online. (((Internet safety fears))) I don’t understand how it would work, so I chose not to.
but it felt important for me to share with you that I appreciate you and to share a thank you with you

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 1:10am
596: Smile says:

This morning I want to be an atist, a dancer and a singer!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 1:49am
597: Smile says:

4. Don’t throw him out of your life until you feel stronger and happier. By then, he may come to you big time.

5. Your journey is inside you to draw him closer if he wants that – and take off on your own if this other woman is simply an insurmountable force for qualities that are hers and not yours – and so he’s possibly simply not right for you. You have to be okay with it going this way in order to radiate the “vibe” that will attract him more.

Love, Rori

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:10am
598: Smile says:

I need to remember this that Rori says,

Circular dating is not just about going on dates… This feels good to know.

Today I am going to circular date my self.

I love my company!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:11am
599: Simply Goddess says:

Hi Sirens.. I’m sure some of you can remember parts of my story..

Well over Summer he lost his job over drugs.. Argued with his parents and moved out of his house and into mine with my parents..
I started my new job.. I started resenting the fact I was paying for things.. It didn’t seem right.. I wouldn’t mind but when his daughter came down he suddenly had money to blow on absolute rubbish.. When his daughter went all of a sudden he didn’t have money again for food or petrol or to live and I would have to pay.. I couldn’t help but resent this and it caused arguements.. Even when I was short of money he took money out my bank to pay for his daughter horse riding lessons.. It’s just built so much resentment..
We really haven’t been getting on.. It’s felt awful.

Well he got his job back.. and credit to him he has been off the drugs now for months, he couldn’t afford them anyway.. but that caused so many problems in the past I thought once he was off the drugs things would be so much better..

Well he’s back at work and has told me hes working the weekend. I am off weekend and he said he wasnt doing them again. He asked me to stay at his mums while he worked all weekend (I havnt spoken to her for months) and to have his daughter and take her horse riding. I said I would have her at mine. He replied saying in fact he thinks its best he goes back to live at his mums until he finds a place to live on his own. He had previously said he feels he cant do anything right. I said I felt a bit used and he flipped. Said what is the point in us being together if Im never happy.

Since that text yesterday morning (when I was in work) I didnt reply. He text later to say “So whats the plan then? Whats going to happen?” I hadnt replied in half an hour and he text “Ok then”

I havnt replied. I’m not ignoring him as such I just really don’t know what to say. We havent had contact now for over a day.

The little bit of space has been good actually. I hope its the same for him. I’m semi hoping he’ll be missing me. Semi dreading him just thinking Im ignoring so he’ll end it.. Should I text him. Should I leave it?

I dunno.. Sorry for the long post.. Just needed to vent Latekly I’ve suprised myself.. I’ve always been besotted and recently I have been questioning if I even want to be with him. The love has slowly been dying and we both didnt know what to do..

Even one day apart has made me remember how I used to feel.. I just want to feel safe and loved and cherished and all the other things us women want..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:30am
600: Smile says:

(((Simply goddess)))

“I havnt replied. I’m not ignoring him as such I just really don’t know what to say”

I wonder what it would look like to share how you feel with him?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:21am
601: Radlove says:

Turquoise,

Thanks!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:22am
602: Smile says:

It feels good to work through my feelings and messages and responses on the blog. Thanks Rori for this space.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:23am
603: Smile says:

I am feeling relaxed and rested.

My procrastination has gone since I tapped it away!

I don’t feel as stuck anymore.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:25am
604: Daria says:

Aww thanks Smile

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:39am
605: Simply Goddess says:

What I feel about not responding? What Ive felt lately? What I think and feel on reflection? I’m confused.. Prob why I havnt replied at all..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:49am
606: Smile says:

3168: Dominique says:

Janette – The only way to attract a man and have it stick is by taking all of this intense focus off of him. Stop worrying what he’s thinking/doing/feeling.

You haven’t even met yet, so essentially you don’t know each other. This is not a relationship. Everything can and will change when you meet for real.

Now and for always, you need to keep your focus on you, what makes you feel good, what fills you up, activities, people. I would also encourage you to work on healing yourself on all levels, learning what you feel how you feel, learning how to express yourself in ways that do not blame or make another feel wrong, learning how to feel as relaxed and at ease as possible as often as possible so that you can remain as clear as possible.

You cannot force anyone to feel anything. So you continue to uncover/discover who you are and step more and more fully into this authentically you woman. He will be attracted to you, or he won’t. You don’t even really know if you will like him at this point anyway.

And if it’s not him, someone else will step up and want to claim the precious gift which is you.

xxoo

Loved reading this dominique, it doesn’t completely relate to my situation but parts felt really useful to read, keeps my focus off one man 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:56am
607: Smile says:

Daria 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:58am
608: Smile says:

simply goddess,

” He text later to say “So whats the plan then? Whats going to happen?” ”

Feeling stuck to respond. Rori suggests:

I feel… I want… I don’t want…

I wonder how you would fill in the gaps?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:04am
609: Silver Moonbeam says:

Number 2 man who I will call P, has stepped up and phoned me (belatedly) I am meeting him tomorrow at 2pm. I know RR says the man should come to you, but where I live is not so hot, small and pretty boring and it’s where I work and live and I like to keep my private life private.

So we are meeting half way on the trainline at a nice town with lots of coffee shops and bars…………

Is that totally against what we are supposed to do? I supposed we have to tweak sometimes to fit our own particular circumstances.

I am getting quite excited with all this stuff now, don’t know why I didn’t take the plunge earlier hey ho!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:06am
610: Silver Moonbeam says:

Oh and hunky fireman (HF) emailed me last night, he is coming back to my workplace on Thursday and will see me at 11 am. Strictly professional of course. I will practise some more Siren moves before he arrives.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:13am
611: Simply Goddess says:

I have so many feelings.. So many I wants.. So many I dont wants.. Its hard to organise..

Plus.. Leaving it nearly 2 days without replying it feels strange to just respond now.. I dunno..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:19am
612: Simply Goddess says:

I feel lost, confused, scared, unsafe..
I want to feel safe, like someones got my best interests at heart, feel like I’ll be looked after..
Im at a stage in my life where Im thinking about moving out, settling down, marriage, kids.. and I guess he is too but now im stalling us moving in because Im so scared of being lied to, money worries etc.. When he says hes getting his own place I then feel left out, like hes selfish, like Im used.. I guess he cant win in a way and its up to me to try trust him again?

Things in the past are making me feel scared and untrusting.. Like Im scared what will happen with money.. I feel untrusting of him.. Hes secretive, about money.. everything.. I’m scared I’ll get hurt.. get burned.. Hes impulsive.. especially with his daughter.. We might not have money to eat, have petrol etc but he will ensure his daughter has unnessacary things.. I understand in a way but hat scares me.. There has to be boundaries and it scares me I have no control over that..
Because of lies etc in the past.. now anything he says I second guess.. I think hes not telling the truth.. I feel like he has hidden agendas that are all about him..
I don’t want to feel untrusting..
I want to feel loved and cherished..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:28am
613: Smile says:

Miss stix’s list of feelings reminded me of a list strummingman wrote to me when we were in a committed relationship, of all the things he would make me feel, I can still remember it now. I feel sad I deleted it when things weren’t going well. But the one feeling he listed that I still remember was I will make you feel…. Motherly… He ended it with this is only 1% of the things I will make you feel.

I want to be a mother.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:31am
614: Tam says:

Hello Smile, haven’t read backwards on the blog yet..happy weekend!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:32am
615: Daria says:

Silver Moonbeam! Yayy I feel all giggly hehe

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:35am
616: Smile says:

Simply goddess I feel related to your post about money. When strummingman lost his job just as we moved intogether I felt I had to pay for everything. I didn’t mind but it felt masculine to be the provider.
The biggest argument just as we split up was over money for hair cuts. I hardly ever get my hair cut because I can’t afford it. He went to get a hair cut but his card was declined so I ended up paying for it. I felt so much resentment as I was paying for things for him that I wanted for myself but couldn’t afford.
At the time my resentment came out as attacking and blaming. Now I feel I could share how I felt about it in a non blaming way using FM’S.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:38am
617: Femininewoman says:

SilverMoonbeam it feels good to watch your breakthrough

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:39am
618: Smile says:

Yikes, money is still a big huge trigger for me.

I want to tell him to save!

Instead I’ve shared with him how good it feels for me saving when I move out of here.

I’m imaging my bank account over flowing with money.

I feel a lot of control over money, I’ve worked so hard to get a good credit rating. I don’t want a man spoiling it. I don’t want a man who’s frivolous with money.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:42am
619: Smile says:

Remembering that this probably triggers me because I need to relax a bit with money.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:43am
620: Femininewoman says:

I feel secure when I have money to take care of my bills and some left over to save. I feel a lot of anxiety and tension thinking about not having enough

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:43am
621: Smile says:

Hi tam!! Happy weekend!! 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:44am
622: Smile says:

I trust that he can take care of his money.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:45am
623: Silver Moonbeam says:

#603 Smile

Thank you for that post – much needed.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:52am
624: Tam says:

591…yes, Smile, I need to take my energy somewhere else and shift my vibe. Doesn’t help that MrNap and my bedroom looks out on the waterway and I keep seeing boats…and feel longing. Hence I am going to CD myself now and go downtown, get some lunch and try to redirect my thoughts.
His loss if he doesn’t want little Princess to decorate his boat with her sheer presence
He might have sold them anyways.
Interestingly, I detect a little more longing for boating than him right now, how amusing…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:53am
625: Daria says:

great tool i feel excited about from my unschooling list

“Can you find a calm quite time when you can sit and really examine the question “Why does it bother me so much to do the cleaning up”, or maybe the question is “why does it bother me so much that they don’t do their own cleaning up”? Keep following it on with question after question, and challenge everything. For example, if you get to something like “I feel taken for granted”, next ask “why does that bother me?, does it really matter if I’m taken for granted?, what’s my fear with this?”. If there is something deeper going on here for you, and if you can work out what that Really is – sometimes your body breathes a sigh of relief and it goes away, or at least lessens hugely, because it’s been acknowledged. You can literally feel it happening, it’s SO freeing. Afterwards you might be in a better place to stay calmer and let things go a bit more the next time – which will add to everyone’s peace.

Years ago I read a book called Focusing by Eugene T Gendlin, and from vague memory that’s where I got this practice from, if anyone wants to explore further.

It’s one of the most useful tools in my kitbag!

All the best,
Jo”

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:54am
626: Tam says:

Everything will be ok. Sigh.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:56am
627: Tam says:

I can do relationship.
I am enough.
I am unique and there is no competition.
I can speak my feelings without fear of people getting scared and disappearing out of my life.
I can trust myself and others.
I am enough.
I am pretty enough, clever enough, loving enough and funny enough.
Hrmpf.
Sad now.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:59am
628: Simply Goddess says:

I guess Im also confused what to reply to him because I m scared of the response.. Its fear.. He can be quite cutting at times.. ‘ending it’ through text and not speaking to me.. albeit this has never really led to us splitting but the fear is always there all the same.. I know I should be working on me.. Still seems easier said than done..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:05am
629: Smile says:

Tam, I feel hopeful your ad will attract a new boating buddy! Boating sounds great! Yes, you can boat with out mrP, yes yes yes!!! It’s hard though when you associate something with something else. Exciting that you have the power to create new associations of boating.

I can see you at the front with your head held back, wind blowing through your hair!! Soaking up the sun 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:05am
630: Smile says:

((tam))

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:07am
631: Smile says:

Silvermoonbeam, yey enjoy your date

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:10am
632: Tam says:

thank you Smile

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:11am
633: Tam says:

Oh nooo..MrNap just got in already…I wish he didn’t come here on the weekends too..no private space.
And only MrP’s Condo to escape to and I won’t.
Bloody mess…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:16am
634: Simply Goddess says:

Do I text him.. or just leave it now till he texts me again.. Unsure.. x

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:17am
635: Tam says:

Urgh. I wasn’t even dressed, it’s 8am. And I don’t feel I want to go and firstlyt ask for MrP’s place and secondly go down there.
I am stuck here with MrNap.
For another month.
Breathe Tam, breathe, it will be fine.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:19am
636: Smile says:

Tam, yikes! (love this word at the min)
This feels a little weird. Has he come to use his office or nap?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:30am
637: Daria says:

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

im doing EFT and im shifting shifting woooh

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:31am
638: Smile says:

Simply goddess,

I find it helpful to play around with responses on here or sometimes i just write them on my phone and keep checking in with what ive written and tweaking it. and then decide if I would respond?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:33am
639: Daria says:

Simply Goddess – I feel compassion for you. For me this would be an inside job. I would never feel safe and cherished with a man who was taking from my finances. And feeling so scared to leave, be left and alone, ugh it would feel like being seasick.

I’d seek out help – EFT, or a therapy that feels good to me, or coaching with a person, and read things that help me feel empowered.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:34am
640: Tam says:

Smile, both….

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:37am
641: Smile says:

Double yikes!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:43am
642: Simply Goddess says:

Thank you for your advice..

I think we’ve both felt a little bit lost lately havent we.. This space has felt good to figure things out.. I feel better about things.. We’ll talk when we’ve both calmed down?

Or is that just a text to keep him holding while Im ignoring him.. I dunno..

I go from seeing things more positivily.. to remembering things and feeling negative towards him..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:47am
643: Simply Goddess says:

or I’ve felt a little bit lost lately.. A bit of space is helping me see things more clearly.. We’ll talk when we’ve both calmed down?

or something like that?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:55am
644: Daria says:

wow i feel so terrible reading about sleeping situation… i would def talk with that man’s wife… and ask if he can not nap for a month bec i don’t get up early and feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with a man. didn’t get that this would be the situation. and actually i feel a bit mad and desperate as was so counting on them and greatful and now feel quite upset.

i would imagine i would feel resentful of said friend ugh and mihgt not even want to be friends anymore

wow i feel so angry imagining being woken up early NO WAY i dont do waking up early ugh

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:57am
645: Daria says:

wtf!!! you offered for me to stay here so your husband can come in when im naked and get me up early to nap in the same bed!??

that just doesnt feel appropriate you couldve told me this before now i feel stuck with this situation UGH

i feel really angry actually

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:59am
646: Daria says:

gah i cant handle that kinda shit and feeling powerless and stuck

i hate hate hate

and everytime i stick it out to save money or avoid drama so i wind up feeling worse UGH

i feel so pist!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:00am
647: Daria says:

wow i feel angry!

i feel shame! i feel embarassment that i dont have other options

you SHOULD HAVE OTHER OPTIONS

how dare yu complain when youre staying for free

ugh

youre nto good enough for not having eneough money, and not plannign well, and you ALWAYS DO THIS

youre a disgrace a loser lil girl!

GAH we hate you

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:03am
648: Daria says:

I HATE you toO!!!

you’re sO MEAN!

and you dont give a fu8ck about me unless you can ctonrol and hsame me you hateful people!!!!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:04am
649: Daria says:

im TIRED of taking on shameful beliefs about myself cuz of what you say

im TIRED of believing i have to feel shame

im TIRED of believing im not good enough cuz i dont feel supported by money

im TIRED of feeling like i have to earn money when you have tons of money and are all controlly about it with me and wont even help me when i need it unless you can stick in your nose and hand and control everything

UGH why bother iwth it in the first place

i HATE YOU

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:06am
650: Daria says:

lol im triggered remembering my own floridA experience

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:07am
651: Daria says:

im tired = i don’t want to tolerate

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:10am
652: Smile says:

Hmm looking through my saved speeches, I can’t remember who initially posted this but I like it.

“This feels so bad. We seem to always argue over
the same things…is there something I should
know? Are you angry with me? Is it something I’m
doing that’s making it so hard for us to
communicate? I’d really like to listen to you if
you have any ideas about how we can solve these
things. What do you think?”

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:16am
653: Femininewoman says:

((((((((((((((Tam)))))))))))))))))))

Don’t you have girlfriends who might be able to help out at least during the weekend? That feels so triggering.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:22am
654: Mel says:

Hi Turquoise,

I wanted to comment on your post about your friends divorcing.

I think sometimes that people hide their unhappiness from the world. I know this was the case with me. I felt so ashamed that my marriage was falling apart. I didn’t tell a soul, except for my best friend and the blog angels here. My family didn’t even know until the bitter end.

Everyone seemed absolutely shocked. We seemed sooooo happy, etc.

But what goes on in private is often not spoken of. I just felt like a failure. I felt so embarrassed, so judgmental of myself, so afraid to be judged by others.

At the time, it felt like the worst possible thing to happen. But now, it feels like the best possible thing to have happened.

Perhaps your friends were together for 13 years to learn and grow but now they’re at a bit of a cross-roads. Their journeys are bringing them to different places. The universe is ready, but they’re holding each other back. That’s how I prefer to look at my situation now.

I feel free now. Free to receive all that the universe has in store for me. And I could not get to this place with him. I needed to go alone.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:25am
655: Tam says:

(((((Daria)))) it’s never too late to no longer tolerate. You said that and it’s one of my mantras now.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:26am
656: Tam says:

MrP is kicking me out for the day. Rah!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:29am
657: Mel says:

Tam,

Have you relocated permanently, or is your stay in the US just temporary?

I know there are plenty of great people advertising on craig’slist, kijiji, etc. looking for roommates. You can get a great shared accommodation, with your own space for not too much money. Sometimes you can even get these type of arrangements on a temporary basis (month-to-month).

I know I would feel soooo uncomfortable sharing a bed. Hugs to you!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:30am
658: Smile says:

I feel all warmed about strummingman saying “we never got chance to dance together…” I’d love to dance with a man. I’ve never done this before. It’d feel great to be twirled and romanced around the dance floor!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:30am
659: Femininewoman says:

Sm.ile – oh yeah. Thinking about that have my insides feeling smiley. I just love that

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:33am
660: Annie says:

606: Silver Moonbeam says:

“Number 2 man who I will call P, has stepped up and phoned me (belatedly) I am meeting him tomorrow at 2pm. I know RR says the man should come to you, but where I live is not so hot, small and pretty boring and it’s where I work and live and I like to keep my private life private.

So we are meeting half way on the trainline at a nice town with lots of coffee shops and bars…………

Is that totally against what we are supposed to do? I supposed we have to tweak sometimes to fit our own particular circumstances.

I am getting quite excited with all this stuff now, don’t know why I didn’t take the plunge earlier hey ho!”

I feel uncomfortable about a man coming into my home in the getting to know each other early stages.
It feel better to me to meet on neutral ground in public places.
And also about getting into a strange mans car.
After netting in public and getting a feel and observing.
I would not feel safe going to a strange mans house, him coming to mine or getting in his car.
I don’t know anything about him or his character.
So public places fee best and safer to me.

What do others think?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:36am
661: Simply Goddess says:

I’ve text..

I’m not ignoring you, I just havent know what to say.. I think we’ve both felt a little bit lost lately haven’t we..
The space has felt good and helped see things more clearly..
We’ll talk when we’re both calm?

How’s that sound?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:39am
662: Smile says:

My friend just texed to say she had bumped into ex of 2 years at the gym.

I read something from Rori which has helped me see the ending of this relationship a bit clearer…

3180: Rori Raye says:

Abi – the question here is not the dishes – but the state of your relationship after 2 years, and why you aren’t living together or engaged (unless you’re both very young…). I think that’s at the bottom of why you two can’t communicate around something simple like this after 2 years. After that – chores are simply negotiable. If he wants you to do dishes, then you get that job if you choose to accept it. And you negotiate what HIS jobs are! What’s needed here is for you to learn to communicate on a deeper level than you are now, so you can work these things out. I mean, if you can’t figure out chores at this point, how can you be married where there’s so many much more important things to work out? Love, Rori

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:41am
663: Smile says:

I feel better equipped to communicate. I want to be a good negotiator 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:42am
664: Smile says:

FW, I think the dancing might actually happen yet! I’d love him to step up in this way.

What a rare find, a man who wants to dance.

A dancing program had just started on tv as we chatted which is why it came up.

I felt excitement in everypart of my body 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:46am
665: Vi says:

I feel like I’m thawing… defrosting.. recently I felt myself more like ‘she’ rather than ‘I’ ..I treat myself more ‘personally’… it feels warm and soft and cute…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:49am
666: Smile says:

658

Simply goddess, I can’t find the words to help/ advise. I feel like I’m learning myself!

I hope Feminine woman can share her wisdom on this… Ive always found it most helpful with writing FMs 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:51am
667: Smile says:

Simply goddess post 649 was for you. I’m not sure if it relates to your situation though.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:58am
668: Simply Goddess says:

You know.. I myself have felt so swamped, so lost, so confused lately..
With him staying in mine, having no money, nowhere to live.. Me being at work.. Us not really getting on much.. I wonder how he must have felt..

Just one day apart has brought back a bit of feeling.. Helped me think more clearly.. Helped me see the positive..

Lately I’ve been thinking we probably just need to split up..
Space and time apart can work wonders.. I need more of it and I think the fact hes working nights all week so we wont see each other till next weekend anyways is probably a blessing..

After all the problems.. Hes off the drugs.. He has his job back this week.. I have a job.. We’ll both be getting a wage.. This sharing a room in my mums hasnt been good for us.. What if things get better now.. What if him getting his own place is good.. What if us both having jobs, earning etc changes everything.. Just as we’re getting back on our feet it would seem silly to give it all up.. What if theres a chance we can have the relationship we’ve always wanted.. It would feel great.. and if it didnt.. at least we gave it a chance..

What if.. Rambling I know..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:02am
669: MissStix says:

Turquoise…

These “seemingly” happy couples were not happy. And probably not happy for a very long time. Married couples do not show this to the world. And in fact, the more un-happy they are, the more happy they may appear.

Now….I feel a little irked to fit into this representation of “what’s the point?”. I know people have and will talk about my divorce. But…It feels blech to see what they might be saying. I feel disheartened, to see that I am a representation of why not to keep on.

But now I feel happy and uplifted because I think “silly girl, that was years ago and now, you are a representation of why we SHOULD keep on truckin.”.

Anyways, turq, your feelings are valid. But remember, you are aware. Mine and my ex’s unawareness really is, when you get right down to it, and strip away all the BS, the only reason it did not work.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:18am
670: MissStix says:

Simply goddess 658

Sounds, reads, looks perfect!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:21am
671: Simply Goddess says:

Thanks.. Shame I’m expecting a reply now though and if I made him wait a couple of days I hope he doesn’t make it into some kind of game.. eek haha

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:24am
672: MissStix says:

((((simply goddess))))

Your text sounds mature, feeling and compassionate.

Your situation resonates with me. Ex-husband and I lived in my parents house for 5 years before we got married. And I also payed for everything. Even when he was working…ick. So wrong!!! I, too, felt so much resentment, but also very deep love. Deep and, at the time, completely unconditional.

I don’t love my new man now as “deeply” as I loved ex at that time. But ex was my first love, so I believe I will never love another man that deeply and so unconditionally. We are friendly acquaintances now…And he recently asked me on a date. I did not accept.

Anyways…Going off the topic here (you!!)

I like what you wrote, and if he somehow turns such a heartfelt and caring msg into a game….I don’t know.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:32am
673: Radlove says:

Daria,

636 – “it would feel like being seasick.”

I like this feeling message! It’s funny, I was just thinking about my friend’s yacht, wishing I could ride on it or any boat. Then when I read it, I thought, yeah, that’s exactly how I feel right now in my tumultuous situation.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:39am
674: Simply Goddess says:

Just thought Id sort some things out..
There was a bag of clothes hed sorted from his car of mine.. been going through and theres a black lacy bra that isnt my size..

‘sigh’

Here was his reply anyway..

I don’t know what to say either but I do know things arent what they used to be though and im fed up of being miserable.. Its starting to affect ‘daughter’ aswell.. She asks why you dont come do things like you used to Cos im not the one with the problems all the time am i.. Like I say, I just get on and try make the most of things but just get things thrown in my face and I cant cope with it unfortunately..
An I think if its like this now what will it be like when ‘other daughter’ comes back on the scene.. It wil be double the headaches!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:41am
675: bloom-ing says:

“overcome” by Carina Round

Too many ghosts reside behind this window
I could dig it out but I don’t
Hear the beginning of morning song
Tripping lightly from night’s tongue
City lights fade below me
Black wings spread overhead,
Lover, didn’t you know me?

I will overcome
I will open
I will overcome
I will open

Slow my body moves into the future forever
Waiting for the moment of gift
Temper the balance of life and love
Fall and the tightrope chokes
You’ll over land and sea
To find a girl, shoot the pearl for one man only

I will overcome
I will open
I will overcome
I will open

I will overcome
I will open
I will overcome
I will open

Black wings spread overhead,
Lover, didn’t you know me?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:15am
676: MissStix says:

((((simply goddess))))

It looks, to me, like he is wrong about himself not having “problems” to work on.

More hugs for you (((((((SG)))))))

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:19am
677: Daria says:

Her favorite is the ‘hero’

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:20am
678: bloom-ing says:

Lily Allen – Smile

When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were fxcking that girl next door, what cha do that for (what cha do that for)
When you first left me I didn`t know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you`re calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it`s only because you`re feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

Whenever you see me you say that you want me back
And I tell you it don`t mean jack, no it don`t mean jack
I couldn`t stop laughing, no I just couldn`t help myself
See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you`re calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it`s only because you`re feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalala

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:20am
679: Daria says:

Being her favorite he becomes the ‘hero’

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:21am
680: Daria says:

The chosen one

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:21am
681: bloom-ing says:

willie nelson “crazy”

Crazy, I’m crazy for feeling so lonely
I’m crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
I knew you’d love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you’d leave me for somebody new
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wond’ring what in the world did I do?
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I’m crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I’m crazy for loving you
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I’m crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I’m crazy for loving you.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:21am
682: bloom-ing says:

i’m wearing an old prom dress dancing around the house singing songs… feel happy. cd & i started to have one our “favorite arguments” a bit ago & then i don’t really know how but we just didn’t go that way lol & then a bit ago again we did talk about it & he was laughing loudly at me & finally just saying, “baby, just assume it’s always preferable that you come along” & i was like “doh !” that’s like a rori raye classic, eh ? ASSUME he wants to see you… shaking my head… lol…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:24am
683: Siren Angel says:

Getting annoyed with the texting… told him it would feel so much better to hear his voice yesterday morning… since, 2 texts last night and another this morning…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:08am
684: Simply Goddess says:

I’m getting my glad rags on, wine out and Im off partying with my friends..
Usually I’m quite hurt by his texts but still wanting to resolve things, this time hes just made me very angry..
Arggggh! MEN!!!

Think I need a bit of circular dating in my life! haha

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:11am
685: Silver Moonbeam says:

#657 Annie

I would never go to a strange man’s house or have one come to mine, nor would I get in a car with a strange man.

I always meet in a public place but was just wondering about the man coming to you as Rori says? It’s really not viable where I live now which is why I met number 1 man in my nearest big town and where I will meet P.

Is this wrong Sirens? If so, how can I fix it?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:11am
686: MissStix says:

Go simply goddess!! Have yourself a fabulous time!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:26am
687: MissStix says:

Silver moonbeam

I wouldn’t call it “wrong”. I think it’s totally kosher to meet in a public place! Halfway between…Cool. You don’t know this person very well, correct?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:28am
688: Femininewoman says:

Silver I believe it is fine as long as you allow him to make the plans. This is the first meeting.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:28am
689: Femininewoman says:

RE 661 Smile I don’t think it is rare. I know a lot of men who like to dance.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:32am
690: Smile says:

Strummingman has offered me help,

I want to use this to respond…

‘you’re such a step up man, you know, actually it would feel so good to have help to move the heavy stuff”

I’m not sure bout the words step up man… Any tweaking would be helpful 

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 10:59am
691: Dominique says:

Smile – 603 –

xxoo

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:13am
692: Tam says:

I feel the need to reach out to MrP but I won’t since it doesn’t feel like the Rockstar way right now, although this is what I would like to do.
I would like to tell him authentically how this situation feels and then just not care about the outcome. But right now I feel a little invested so I shall refrain….and go to the beach with my book instead.
Hm. I am slowly getting my vibe back, last night helped…and I am getting clearer on what I want from a man.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:15am
693: Silver Moonbeam says:

#684 MissStix

No I don’t know him at all, he is from a dating site. We have had a few texts and one phone call this morning. I am doing now what Daria advised a LONG time ago to give them your mobile and move to a date quickly not endless messages for weeks on dating sites.

I have had sooo many men penpals I am over it!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:25am
694: Silver Moonbeam says:

#685 FW

Yes I did allow him to state the in between place and the time to meet. My G*d I think I am getting it at last!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:26am
695: Silver Moonbeam says:

“Letting go of a person is much easier than letting go of pain. Because if I once let go of the pain of missing someone, anyone, I would feel, not just free – but alone. I would come face to face with my serious belief that I will always be alone if I don’t hold on.”

From a previous Rori post, profound!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:33am
696: Femininewoman says:

Smile if it were me I believe I would say “you are my hero, it makes me feel so taken care of. Thank you”

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:52am
697: Femininewoman says:

Every time I use coconuts I think of Francesca. Franceca if you are reading I miss your comments.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:56am
698: Smile says:

Too cute, he asked if I was still on for Friday. I said I was, i used the should I use pen or pencil line.

He replied, use a red pen and underline it with kisses!

Feels great to have confirmed plans in advance.

Thanks FW, love that! 693

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:02pm
699: Smile says:

Tam, book and beach sounds great !!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:04pm
700: LoveAlways says:

Hi Silver MoonBeam!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:13pm
701: Siren Angel says:

M has been wonderful for the last week we were together, but now i am feeling anxious and very p$ssed off about the time apart (I have my kiddie this we but his kids are with their mom for thanksgiving we).
I feel seriously p$ssed off he is texting instead of calling.
I feel turned off he has been invited to thanksgiving dinner by female ‘friend’, who had tried to come on to him last year.
I feel tired of this.
I want peace and calm and unquestionable love.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:16pm
702: Siren Angel says:

(((Simply Goddess)))

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:17pm
703: Smile says:

He says, he is in charge of making me tea, and making me feel good!

Oo he used the word feel!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:25pm
704: Femininewoman says:

RE 695. Lol Smile. Thanks to Mel for the “pencil”. This guy seems like a fast learner

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:27pm
705: Smile says:

FW, yey I learnt this one from Mel as soon as I arrived on the blog  thanks Mel!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:40pm
706: MissStix says:

smile

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:43pm
707: MissStix says:

I feel stressed. I feel aching and tension in my shoulders. I am having a great day but things and happenings on my mind. Put the stress in the back there pls. Thanks. Sigh.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:45pm
708: MissStix says:

Have all this time to write at the moment. Don’t want to. Blech.

I love you stress. I love you achy shoulders. I love you lazy mushy squishy body.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 12:47pm
709: Silver Moonbeam says:

Can’t remember Mel’s pencil thing??

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 1:10pm
710: Smile says:

Silver moonbeam it’s used to confirm tentative dates… Pencil = tentative, pen = confirmed!
I’ll pencil you in kinda thing.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 1:22pm
711: Daria says:

I love you Daria

behind your name

and onto your skin

into that which is creamy soil of you

i breathe

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 1:42pm
712: Tam says:

Smile, I feel super happy for you right now.

In other news, a baywatch looking guy just came up to me on the beach (after hanging around for a while) and said ‘are you available for dinner?’
OMG, this is CD Paradise.

I mean, it really is raining men (hallelujah).

MrNap is still here, now I got back he just said ‘I am taking a nap in the bed now’. I feel livid, why doesn’t he just go back to his house to sleep? He has two places and seems like he enjoys my sheets way too much. I had hoped he’d give me a break at least on the weekends
One month.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:06pm
713: Tam says:

Urgh, I am really having to stop myself from reaching out to MrP now.
I can do it, I can do it.
I can do some work instead…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:39pm
714: Smile says:

((tam))

You are strong

You are strong

You are strong

Night night x

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:47pm
715: Siren Angel says:

Duh… Why do I put with this?
If I simply walked away, what would his reaction be?
If I didn’t respond to his texts, what would he do?
But, really, how would I feel?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:48pm
716: Siren Angel says:

I intend to get the real ring. A gold band with a diamond. It sparkles on my finger. I can feel it and see it’s sparkle as I move my hands gently. And how do I feel?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:51pm
717: Tam says:

Thank you Smile!!
Ugh

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:52pm
718: Siren Angel says:

He will bend down on one knee with a bouquet of red roses in one hand and the ring box in the other. How does that make me feel?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:52pm
719: Daria says:

Feels so triggering. I (hope) I would reach out and ask for help. I dont want to do the strong, hanging in there masculine thing anymore. what if i step out and my manifesting picks up and more things start shifting and happening like skipping on stones across a stream. i love the way my life feels liek that.

i want to have that easily.

love you daria

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:54pm
720: Siren Angel says:

He is coming to me. I can see it. He puts his hand on my face and caresses gently with the curve of his hand. I feel safe and loved.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 2:54pm
721: Tam says:

Daria, totally. I wish I could reach out for help, but the only person that could help me immediately right now is the guy I am leaning back from.
I feel that everything I am trying to achieve for myself will be in jeaopardy if I ask him for help.
I feel scared to do that.
I feel scared it will put pressure on him
I feel so stuck with:
a) the situation with MrNap
b) the situation with MrP
and if I ask MrP to help, I feel like losing control over myself.
Ugh.
If we hadn’t had that misunderstanding it would be easier. I don’t think I can put up with this man snoring in my bed day in day out for another month. I have nowhere to relax. I feel like a hunted animal again, this is sooo not what I imagined when I came out from home. This is even worse. Thank heavens I am at least in Florida and can spend the weekend outside.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:01pm
722: Tam says:

Ok, decision. If this guy turns up here tomorrow also at 8am and turfs me out, which is Sunday, I am going to ask for the Condo. I need at least one day a week to have a room to myself where I can read and relax and sleep.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:03pm
723: Smile says:

And just SAYING how you feel is always a tremendous act of confidence.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:10pm
724: Daria says:

omgosh

i didnt want to do my 5 movements so i wound up doing another two movement mix that feels easy and is really yummy for what i want

YAY!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:19pm
725: Tam says:

720. It really is. I am totally lost as to what to do or say. So it is going to be nothing for now.
Writing an article now and going to open some wine.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:19pm
726: Daria says:

I’m feeling lonely

i want a lot of support these days

im giving myself lots of nutrition and movment

and i feel so vulnerable and needy

i feel like im going thru a breakup

obsessing about my godson’s mom and our relationship as a family

sigh

my feelings feel so powerfully uncomfortable

sea sick sinking heart, breakign heart

feelings i recognize would be from an infant

and me as a lil girl

i want to feel calm and happy and easy

that would feel like relaxing and thinking about other stuff alltogether

that would feel like NEW friendships and new exciting joys and laughter and going out to be seen together

ugh

EFT i remember helps me instantly

will do that now

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:31pm
727: Daria says:

Tam – wow cool! I feel glad to see that you’re considering it.

that hunted animal feeling are great words for the triggering feeling i imagine i would be feeling too

i’ve toughed it out through that so many times! i really want to stop that pattern!

it does NOT work for me!

the most wonderful change of pattern was one night i left a CD’s apartment at 2 30 am, not knowing where i’m at, and just WENT

i wound up getting home with not much difficulty. i actually felt ENERGIZED and full of SELF LOVE AND JOY!

it was SO worht it rather than toughting it out and numbing myself out and treating msyelf that way

and it seems miraculous things sometimes happen when i step out that way, that weren’t available before

the universe supports me

but in the moment it seems so ‘logical’ wheigh it out, it will be worse if you act rashly’ voice is SO LOUD

it is NOT WORSE!

((((Daria))))

thank you Tam for triggering me! I feel glad to be processing this by reading aout your experience

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:37pm
728: April Rose says:

Had a date with another new chap. Someone taller than me for a change!! TallCD!

He seemed so relaxed, and gently confident. I felt all in tizzy, and did a lot of nervous giggling. I admitted it to him and said “I feel nervous”. He asked “really?” which made me feel more nervous and also embarrassed. I said “yes, really”.

I felt myself shallow and silly and girlish. I felt quite shocked about this.

He continued in his manly, grown-up, deliciously unnerving way to make me squirm.

It’s funny – at the first moment of meeting we had a quick kiss and I felt sooo compelled to hug him. Just managed to stop myself when I saw a ‘warning’? look on his face.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:38pm
729: April Rose says:

hhhmmm

Which men do I prefer? Refined or rough-cut?

hmmm…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:45pm
730: April Rose says:

CDing is for healing
Cding is for healing
Cding is for healing

I want to replace the above for what runs in my head “could he be my husband?”

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:47pm
731: April Rose says:

Feeling back into my body after the date took some time. There was a lot of tension, especially around my front, lower ribs.

Next time I meet TallCD I’ll know where to focus my attention in my body, and track the tension.

I also want to speak more from my inner woman, and a little less from my inner girl.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:49pm
732: April Rose says:

He seemed very forward, and also very keen to find out certain things. Did I enjoy public displays of affection? It seemed important to him to find a tactile woman. I love to touch and be touched, so that was okay.

He said he can know so much about a person from kissing them, so we had a gentle kiss. His lips felt so very soft. I think I passed that test too!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:55pm
733: April Rose says:

Looking back on my own posting I see I wrote
“I felt myself shallow and silly and girlish”

These are not feelings, they are judgements.

I judged myself in his presence. I had a lot of feelings all going on at once, and I judged myself for it.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:58pm
734: April Rose says:

I don’t judge myself in the company of ‘rough’ men.
I judge myself in the company of ‘refined’ men.

So, what’s really going on with me and my self-esteem and belief system?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 3:59pm
735: Daria says:

ooooh April Rose I FEEL SO EXCITED!!! me too!

hellls yeah!!!

ohhhhhh i want to heal this!

‘refined’ men thing

HAAAAAAA

i feel so glad to have this moment

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:00pm
736: April Rose says:

I am responding to a judgement *I* make about the man’s level of refinement, or ‘class’.

The classier I judge the man to be, the more nervous I feel, and the more I go into ‘silly girl’ mode.

Hmmmmm….
I’m seeing something through all this processing….

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:02pm
737: Siren Angel says:

It feels so good to feel loved and cherished.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:04pm
738: April Rose says:

I want to heal this too.

I want to feel worthy of exuding my most delicious, refined self around a man…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:04pm
739: Tam says:

wow Daria, you are brave!!!
I just feel uncomfy asking MrP for help especially after our miscommunication…anyway, I will check in with my feelings tomorrow.
Messy

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:06pm
740: Daria says:

so glad Daria is here to care for me

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:06pm
741: Daria says:

Tam – thank you! in the past i’ve tolerated situations thinking it would feel way worse to have to spend a lot of money or to wake up my mom and call…
NO!

now that i’ve done it,, i wound up spending 35 dollars that nite… more than the whoel month but didnt regret it all! instead it was a SURGE of POWER I FELT

i couldve walked for hours if that was necessary, it was SO worth it

and other nites ive called my mom, it was no big deal after all…

ah but in the moment it still feel triggering and i get into that ‘doubting myself’ thinking

i notice the faster i act on my intuition to move away… the better it feels

theres actualy no need to ‘think twice’ the way i was taught so much

what my intuition is when i feel it works out great, sometimes in ways that are even better – miraculous magical – than i thought

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:09pm
742: April Rose says:

((((((Tam))))))

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:11pm
743: Tam says:

Thank you Daria, that sounds inspiring….hm.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:12pm
744: April Rose says:

Am I shutting down a part of me?

A part that feels at ease being a high-class prize of a woman.

Wow. I feel so excited to bring her to life in me.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:13pm
745: April Rose says:

I need to feel it in my soft belly depths.

That I am a woman with an interest in many men. And who puts herself and her happiness first.

I don’t want to worry about what the men think/feel about me seeing other men.

As Rori says, they know they have no claim on you until they marry you!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:15pm
746: April Rose says:

During my date I was wondering how I would feel if I was wearing the $400 earrings (a gift from EM) on a date with TallCD.

It made me feel really weird.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:18pm
747: Tam says:

Thank you for the hug April-R

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:18pm
748: April Rose says:

As Daria so often reminds me, (and I feel grateful for it)

babysteps

loving me back to full juicy woman-strength, one babystep at a time…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:19pm
749: April Rose says:

You’re welcome, Tam

I just wish you lived round the corner from me, and I could make you a cake and offer you a bed in my house.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:20pm
750: Daria says:

thinking about someone all the time does NOT mean i love them

hello!

wow

yay new lands

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:25pm
751: Daria says:

not thinking about something and not monitoring it does NOT mean I won’t get the outcome I desire

*blink blink*

wowie

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:26pm
752: Daria says:

what can i do or create with my amazing mental energy?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:27pm
753: Daria says:

passions are things that make me feel good, and powerful,

and /NOt things that make me feel sad, defeated , and hopeless…. and like ‘i want to change’

9not sure about that

even if people have it ‘off’ about… this upsets me i will change the world

that doesn’t mean its correct

or it works

what works is doing stuff that feels empowering and fun?

that feels so scary!

i will have no control at all

i feel so sad and scared!

i feel so excited and curious!

babysteps!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:29pm
754: Siren Angel says:

awww.. April Rose, your date sounds lovely!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:29pm
755: Tam says:

Aw, April Rose, I feel cared for. Actually just writing this to me makes me feel like I have the cake and bed already

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:30pm
756: Daria says:

im totally lost in teh unknown whimper

i feel kinda excited to be here smile laugh

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:31pm
757: Siren Angel says:

Question:

I am wondering if it is possible to overdose a man on FM’s? I have asked this question a few posts back. Again, a few days ago, M responded to an FM ‘It’s also possible to feel too much’

However, he also uses the word feel and is very feminine energy.

I feel very curious about this.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:32pm
758: Daria says:

what do you think are my passions?

reading / internet

fantasy stories

magic

dance

singing

being seen by lots of people that are wowed by me

sharing information

EFT

healing

herbs

food

free living and nurture

big friendships

forest

sunshine

beauty

sexiness

sexual pleasure

drawing unique stuff

unique clothes

massage

family love

free time

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:35pm
759: Jasmine says:

Hello Ladies

It’s been so long since I don’t write on here and I would feel so happy to say I feel much better but on the other hand I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.

I need so much help.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:36pm
760: Daria says:

laughing ! and jokes!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:36pm
761: Daria says:

knowing all beings are loving

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:37pm
762: Daria says:

radically rethinking commonly thought things

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:39pm
763: Daria says:

nightime!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:40pm
764: Daria says:

oohh expression of culture/ shared expressions

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:41pm
765: Daria says:

COLORFUL JUMPING AROUND VIDEOGAMES

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:42pm
766: Daria says:

sharing

freee

thieving trickstering – who is trickster with no one to escape from?

happy girl! wise girl! free girl!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:45pm
767: Daria says:

my father wishes that i have a great relationship with money

wow

thank u

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:49pm
768: Daria says:

he also wishes i receive great honor and admiration from earth’s people. like Einstein.

hmm that still feels triggering

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:52pm
769: Daria says:

he Thinks i Deserve great honor and admiration for my brilliant mind. I’ve always felt so seen and honored and encouraged by him for that.

wow

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 4:59pm
770: Daria says:

Hello Jasmine someone mentioned missing you a couple days ago

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:03pm
771: Daria says:

well i certainly feel Much better now after that EFT

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:21pm
772: Femininewoman says:

Hi Jasmine

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:22pm
773: Daria says:

oh yes the awesomest words!

“Donations accepted ONLY if it makes your heart happy!”

stealing!

loving!

happy!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:23pm
774: Femininewoman says:

Hi there high class, high status woman.
My high status woman feels cringey thinking about begging a man to be with me. You don’t want me.
Okayyyyy. Struts off with high heels. Lean back energy. Head high. Nothing happened. Blip on the radar. Keep going.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:26pm
775: MissStix says:

Siren angel 754

I don’t believe an “overdose” is possible for the right man and I don’t believe it is possible to feel too much.

I do believe it could feel tiresome for a man if it were every day, day in, day out and just always negative. And it might feel hopeless to him if he thinks he has put in a genuinely good effort and is only hearing “I feel sad, I feel mad, I feel annoyed” all the time. He might feel useless. He might think a woman needs professional help or is depressed. It might feel very difficult to him. He might feel defensive if the FMs are being thrown at him and blaming him instead of just being released and blaming no one. He might feel annoyed if the blame doesn’t make sense. He might say in his mind “But I did nothing wrong!”.

But I believe, very strongly, that if the above is happening the man is probably not right. Not putting in enough effort. Not doing nothing “wrong”. And there is validity in the negative emotion and it may need to be explored.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:26pm
776: Femininewoman says:

High status vibe – head thrown back, hair blowing in the wind. Face caressed by the wind. Sink in, aaahhh. Feeling kissed by the wind, the sky. Feeling kissed and loved by life. Seeing everything and everyone lining up to worship my royal higheness. Feeling my heart beating with gratitude.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:32pm
777: Tam says:

771 Thanks for that FW

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:33pm
778: MissStix says:

And I think in my mind…If a man is not answering my cries out for help. He is not the man for me. But this IS just me.

And I remember a time last year when I was very sad. A lot. Every day. And I know it took a toll on the man. But I never felt unwanted, or disregarded. I heard from his mouth “Do you think you might need to talk to someone?”. And he was gentle, and I could see in his eyes he cared. The concern in his eyes…

No. Not possible to feel too much. But yes, possible to feel too much sadness….And need to make a change.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:33pm
779: Femininewoman says:

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Maya Angelou

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:34pm
780: MissStix says:

Now I wonder if negative FMs can lose their “potency”. They are a wonderful tool..But if they are being “used” all the time, and every day all day or every time you are with someone…Will they sound weaker when something happens and events call for them?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:36pm
781: MissStix says:

Might a man just think “here we go again!” and poooooof up into smoke goes the validity of what we feel.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:38pm
782: Tam says:

I don’t know. I feel like all this unbelievable male interest is almost mocking me. A bit like ‘they are coming from all sides, woman, and you are still stuck on the one who doesn’t want you?’
It’s almost spooky.
Everywhere I go, there are men chatting me up and asking for my number….this never happened to me before. I feel overwhelmed but not in a good way sadly.
Isn’t that a good sign though? Before all this attention would have made me happy..now I just feel pretty blah about it. In a way that means that my self esteem does not need affirmation by male interest. In another way perhaps it means I am not receptive to male interest?
I am challenging myself to stay open and take every opportunity, where before I would have looked away I now search for eye contact…I am taking all opportunities to practice….even if I feel a little empty about it.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:43pm
783: Tam says:

my vibe is not where I want it to be.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:53pm
784: Daria says:

hye hmmm

thank you for brushing my hair Daria!

and thank you for trusting me to choose!

and do it in my time!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:53pm
785: Daria says:

Miss Stix – for me that does not compute, thinking about it from this mindspace

FM’s aren’t about ‘working’ or about ‘negative’

theyre a deep expression of my feeling state in that moment. like a who i am in that moment

theyre compelling . they pull someone in… im touching my depth in their presence

theyre the well of life

its an ‘energy’ thing, there;s no ‘reason’ to speak them

only to share my cosmic earthy experience that moment

attracting what i want is due to my touching my depth, becoming an instant black hole, a magnet of spirit proportions

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:58pm
786: Daria says:

wow that can attract in my manifesting as well, as i touch my inner depth

if there is a man around, a person around, i can ‘give’ to them by sharing this richness

this Life

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 5:59pm
787: Daria says:

smh. that is so dope

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:00pm
788: Daria says:

there is something i forgot

soemthing i came to the blog to write about

and i dont remember

it was about seeing how not to help somone not asking me for help

its more about avoiding my own pain by looking to control the outside

but then i got triggered again thinking of a kitten crying or a baby

well i woudl go to them

but they would be calling me ! my spirit knows

intuition

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:07pm
789: MissStix says:

hmmm daria…Thank you.

I do see it this way too…And I know sometimes I express myself cryptically. What am I feeling…Not in touch with feelings right now just thoughts. huh.

….

I feel confused.

I feel a pull to the right.

I feel urges. Explainy urges…Urges to explain what I meant. Hmmmm.

I feel meh.

I feel awe.

I feel inspiration.

I love these feelings.

I do see reasons in my life to use them. Though…I do not see “ideal” outcomes when there are reasons. I recognize them only after they have happened. I see reasons only when another persons existance is triggering feelings. I think this is a “reason”. When there is no reason I see ideal outcomes. I almost plan them…I think in my head “I feel sad. So…I will say it out loud, and then I will do this and then I know my sadness will shift.”. A good reason to use an FM is if I feel angry and judgemental of someone, but I do not want to spew the judgement. So I will say “I feel angry” instead of “You’re being a b1tch and go eff urself.”.

Hmmm

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:08pm
790: Tam says:

I want people to read my mind. I do not want to ask for help, I want to be rescued. I want someone to ‘force’ me to take help.
This is a bad pattern.
I can ask for help.
This does not mean that I am a failure.
I feel bad asking for help because I thought a person has to be self sufficient always to be a ‘good person’. Sick concept installed into me as a child.
Sick.
We live in a society, not alone.
We help each other.
I can’t expect people to read my mind. If they have offered help three times, how many more times do they have to offer until I believe it is ok to accept?
Hm

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:12pm
791: Tam says:

I just read something utterly brilliant and wonderful:

‘It is always best to interpret conflict from a different angle:

What if this situation is not an attack to you but a way for this person, to relate to you, a way of
calling out for your support, connection and recognition?’

I want to do that!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:15pm
792: Daria says:

ii feel

i fee; i feel yay i feel

thank you Daria for being alive and choosing to be

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:15pm
793: MissStix says:

((((Tam))))

I desire to feel free to ask for help. I desire to feel free to receive it when I don’t ask. Even I don’t accept.

And wow!

Now I think…Receiving does not have to be accepting. I can say “thank you” and “it feels ____ to receive this offer.” and still not accept. I can do this without harming anyone.

Oh, thank you for your help tam! Well received, and accepted!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:18pm
794: MissStix says:

Thank you for your help Daria. It felt confusing to receive, but I am accepting of it. Your words felt powerful and lit up my thoughts. And I had to really sink in to feel those feelings. Thank you for this practice.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:20pm
795: Daria says:

Miss stix – me too

ah;;; ‘i feel angry” m yes then there is a boundary

yeah im using it as a boundary and actually with the person right then its a boundary i want

cuz i could just tell them i feel angry and it not have to do with them and im deep sharing

and sometimes im creating a boundary

and the anger , i dont want to feel angry

i feel angry and i want to feel angry’

i feel angry and i dont want to feel that way.. w u hmm

hmm hmm hm

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:22pm
796: Daria says:

Thank you for the practice Miss Stix this feels very helpful.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:23pm
797: Daria says:

Thank you for talking and sharing about this with me.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:23pm
798: MissStix says:

ohh…hmmmm woah this is perspective!

Sometimes I do want to feel angry. Sometimes anger feels satisfying. So then…That is just me feeling satisfied to feel angry.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:29pm
799: Annie says:

685: Silver Moonbeam says:

“#657 Annie

I would never go to a strange man’s house or have one come to mine, nor would I get in a car with a strange man.

I always meet in a public place but was just wondering about the man coming to you as Rori says? It’s really not viable where I live now which is why I met number 1 man in my nearest big town and where I will meet P.

Is this wrong Sirens? If so, how can I fix it?”
It doesn’t feel good to me to have a new man ;’stranger’ come to where I live.’

I prefer to meet a few miles away from my village.
I don’t want him knowing where I live until I have got to know him/them better.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:42pm
800: Siren Angel says:

MissStix @772,

The FMs I was doing are actually very positive, complex imagery FMs. Not negative ones. So I still feel curious.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 6:54pm
801: Tam says:

Ah, so now I am even more turned off, this CDing is getting complicated. The guy who wanted to come here for a whole weekend (and I am not interested and told him with a FM that it would feel better to just plan a few hours and ‘see how it goes’), he is now saying he wants to take me to key west for the whole weekend. Oh man.
With a man I liked this would be great. But I don’t like him that much and he is not talking bout separate hotelrooms. He has not understood anything, now he is pushing for more even though I said I feel uncomfy planning a whole weekend with him (with me having my own accommodation).
Urgh.
Turned off now.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:08pm
802: Tam says:

Annie, I think this is just wise personal safety..

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:11pm
803: Starbright says:

Annie and Silver Moonbeam,

I do what feels comfortable and safe to me. Beyond that, Rori talks about not working too hard by driving very far if meeting a man and I agree with this. I don’t want to drive that far to meet a man in the first date or so, before I feel comfortable on another date to let him come and pick me up.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:13pm
804: Starbright says:

SA,

regarding your questions about how the feeling messages are coming across…

Just curious…do you practice feeling messages with other people too? Wonder if they are coming across like you are trying too hard with him? Rather than just easy breezy?

Or, sharing so many at a time that it feels confusing to him? We are able to feel so many like the soup and yet that could feel confusing to him.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:20pm
805: Tam says:

OMG, my intuition was dead on. Big CD (the one who cried) just wrote me a long message about how he feels insulted because I don’t answer each of his (one million) texts and that I don’t call him – my phone doesn’t work in the condo very well, and it crackles and I explained it to him and he even said ‘oh phoning is annoying’. He wrote a huge message saying that I obviously didn’t feel chamistry and should have told him (after the first meeting). Mr Instant relationship. This is the second one today, the other one said he is wondering whether I show a few red flags because I never initiate contact.
Unbelievable. Turned off really bad now.
How rude.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:21pm
806: Radlove says:

Jasmine,

I feel glad to see you back on the blog. Lean hard on us here, ok? These women may not be perfect, but there is a lot of caring and compassion here. What do you need help with? Talk to us.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:21pm
807: Siren Angel says:

Ahhhh… he called. Ok maybe he is texting AND calling. I feel smiley. He was sweet and all ‘good night sweet dreams’. That felt good.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:22pm
808: Tam says:

it’s just unbelievable how they are hounding me. I feel hounded. And the one I like doesn’t stir.
I feel sick and nauseous. I don’t want these men…I just want a normal, easy going man.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:22pm
809: Starbright says:

Aw Tam,
It sounds like a perfect opportunity for expressing “don’t wants!”

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:26pm
810: Siren Angel says:

Starbright,

I don’t overdo it. Usually one at a time. I have caught myself, but rarely, giving a few too closely knit together and yes then it doesnt feel natural.

I try to practice FMs with other people but not often. I do find myself coming up with them naturally more and more. Just using the word feel in every form now. I felt, I was feeling, that would feel, ect.

M is a psychologist so he analyzes everything. He may think I am ‘too feeling’ which he could actually try to link with a disorder! lol!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:26pm
811: Tam says:

I feel angry now and misunderstood.
Jeepers, I will never again act needy with a man now..now I know how it feels when they go crazy.
It feels baaaaaad!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:26pm
812: Siren Angel says:

Thank you Starbright for your suggestions. I believe I should practice more with OTHER people. You are right. Thanks.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:28pm
813: Tam says:

Starbright…it’s so much of a don’t want that I even hesitate to spend time expressing the ‘don’t want’, actually one message was rude and the other one offensive. A guy I never even met saying it’s a red flag that I don’t initiate contact….I mean. really. Hold your horses…instant relationship territory, both of them. Totally turned off!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:30pm
814: Starbright says:

SA,

I guess it was when you wrote that they are “very positive, complex imagery FMs” that made we wonder if they may come across as trying too hard.

Sounds like you had a great feeling good night call with him tonight! Yeah you!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:33pm
815: Tam says:

And now, the third one, after I told him I don’t want to go to Key West or spend a whole weekend with him..asked me if he could stay at my place.
I am losing it any minute. I feel upset that these guys are stepping/trampling on my boundaries.
First they are all respectful and nice and gentlemenlike and then it’s like they don’t understand a ‘no’, or expect me to cut doen my options and have an instant relationship after the 1st date. When I don’t even know where they live yet!! That feels so bad.
I am not a happy bunny at all right now.
3 guys pressuring me tonight.
Seems Rori’s tools are working too well for me!!
Eeeek!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:36pm
816: Starbright says:

Tam,

Seems you are getting all kinds of opportunities for practicing. Fm’s all the way!!!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 7:59pm
817: Starbright says:

SA,

Just saw 809….me too! I have been reading Rori’s work for some time and still could be practicing with more people – more all the time!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:03pm
818: Starbright says:

Tam,

Perhaps telling those guys the feelings you are easily posting here would be helpful practice. It’s all practice, healing work not necessarily the happy ever afters!

I feel turned off when I hear that….I don’t feel heard…I don’t want an instant relationship. I want to get to know someone over time…

Or some such things as you’ve been saying…doesn’t need to take a lot of effort or even be a conversation…could be a statement and then doing your own thing…

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:07pm
819: MissStix says:

SA 797

Stumped :p

How can we feel too much positive? Totally confused too.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:09pm
820: MissStix says:

Oh jeez and I forgot M’s profession…

Hmmm

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:13pm
821: baby steps says:

Dear Rori and Sirens,

Lately to deal with the pain and dread that I go through upon waking up, I’ve been repeating to myself

I love you feelings, I love you pain, I love you dread
Even though you feel icky, i love you as you are part of my feelings.

My intention was to feel the feelings, accept them and hopefully they would go away. When I try that, the feeling intensifies and gets worse.

Can anyone give me some pointers please?

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:47pm
822: LoveAlways says:

IN THIS MOMENT . . .
I feel safe in a fog of feminine energy, surrounding me protectively in a time and space of uncertainty and surprise. I am trusting myself, Leaning back in this relationship circle, experiencing this man I love rubber band in despair and confusion to and from me, and I can only do as I’ve practiced these 12 months and hold this safe space for me, and in that very instance, for him. He feels safe to be here. We are connecting, but I just don’t know what is going to happen or when it happens. I’ve exercised my power to let him know he will lose me, and I can only let time and his desire to heart connect with me bear the reality of this crazy ride.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 8:55pm
823: LoveAlways says:

Baby Steps

You should do something you like, for yourself, after your go through your feelings. You have to actually sit there and feel each feeling. Rori has suggested dropping to your knees and getting into the feeling that you are experiencing. She talks about this in modern siren as an aspect of the sea

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:01pm
824: baby steps says:

Heart, I fear you maybe right. I am going through the motions but not the feeling. I hope that in time to come, the feelings will be come too.

I’m impatient to stop my vibes

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:11pm
825: baby steps says:

Heart, I fear you maybe right. I am going through the motions but not the feeling. I hope that in time to come, the feelings will be come too.

I’m impatient to stop my vibes

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:14pm
826: baby steps says:

MissStix, thank you thanks for ur patience.
I want to ‘get it’ now…. I’m afraid I’m taking too long and there isn’t time left….

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:16pm
827: baby steps says:

LoveAlways,

How do I feel those feelings of being feminine and safe when that’s not how I feel these days? How do we generate some pocket of those feelings?

I am able to distract myself and focus on work etc for small pockets of time. Yet during those moments, I don’t feel safe. It’s more of shifting my focus and not thinking nor feeling.

Thank you… For trying to explain.

I love what you wrote. I will try writing up something similar for myself. It’s been 11 days since he blew up at me and we haven’t been in contact.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:21pm
828: Starbright says:

Baby steps,

Rori also talks often about touching something to become very present in the moment. Touch it, pick it up, describe in feeling messages how you feel touching it. It can also be thought of as a form of meditation as it is being present in the now. That can be very calming.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:22pm
829: MissStix says:

((((babysteps))))

Been thinking, and I was wondering how you would feel about breathing and meditative exercises. I feel glad to know other sirens are bringing this up.

Is it possible you are putting too much pressure on yourself to get this “right”?

Some more calming, soothing exercises might benefit you. They do so much for me. Kind of a few monents to just “let go” and simply exist.

You can look many up online, or I can type some out for you.

I’ll leave you with one of my favourites…Very similar to touching an object…

You can do this during any activity at all that causes physical sensation. Showering, bathing, rubbing lotion, drinking wine or fizzy drinks or hot tea etc., eating, brushing your hair etc etc etc.

Take some deep breaths and narrow your focus wayyyy down to the smallest sensation you possibly can. Focus right in on how it feels. Say it out loud or in your head. Work outwards by slowly widening your focus to the more general sensations. Describe and enjoy and savour each individual feeling. And keep breathing. Sink way into how you feel after you’re done and see how long you can stay sunk into it.

<3

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:41pm
830: Starbright says:

MissStyx,

Love it! I felt relaxed just reading it!

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:55pm
831: baby steps says:

thank you everyone. I am responding, just that my comments are going into moderation, no idea why >.<

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 9:57pm
832: MissStix says:

Deadblog!

I feel soooo sleepy and my cheeks feel sore from laughing. Time to lay them down on a cool pillow mmmm

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:02pm
833: Scarlet says:

Baby Steps, I feel your pain. The morning is the worst part of the day. It’s like we have had an escape from reality for a few hours and then it all comes back with a big thud when we first wake up. I know from my own experiences of grief – with relationships, my marriage breakdown and the death of both of my parents and a stillborn baby – that it does pass. I remember vividly waking up and how bad those first moments of awareness were, but I also know that it did get better eventually. Unfortunately, even though I know it passes, it doesn’t make it any easier right now when I am grieving the loss of my last relationship. It still hurts to endure loss, no matter how many times we do it and no matter what we do to make it feel better. I believe it’s feeling the feelings over time and that’s about all. Sometimes trying to come up with strategies to feel better makes us feel worse. Just sit with it Baby Steps. I hope your pain passes sooner rather than later and just know that you are not alone in all of this. We’ve all been in some sort of pain or are in it right now and we’ll all feel better eventually. Not much comfort when you’re feeling so bad right now, but I guess I’m trying to suggest that you don’t try to resist it – just accept it. I wish you peace.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 @ 11:22pm
834: Silver Moonbeam says:

#776 FW

I have always loved that poem, brilliant. I will remember it today on my date.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Thank you for the reminder.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:51am
835: Femininewoman says:

YW SMB

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:21am
836: Smile says:

I am going to try and get a Children’s book published.

Eek I feel excited but also nervous that it’s not good enough.

That’s ok, if it’s not good enough.

I’m feeling brave and confident.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:24am
837: Smile says:

Tam, asking mrP for help is not leaning forward if it’s not to do with the relationship…

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:25am
838: Smile says:

Jasmine!!! Felt nice to see your name on the blog, but sad you didn’t post again. Sending much love if you read this.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:27am
839: Smile says:

Feeling sad,

I went to my friends last night.
She wrote something on fb to another friend.
I’ve read too much into it. I’ts hurt me. I know this prob wasn’t her intention I’m sure.

But I feel yikes when I don’t want to share how I feel about it for fear of rocking the boat.

I still need to heal this. I don’t want to stuff my feelings.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:50am
840: Smile says:

Thanks Rori

So start with this step of imagining, and we’ll take it from there…

Love, Rori

I’m imaging a full relationship, it feels warm and loving.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:53am
841: Smile says:

832

I feel like I would be blowing something out of proportion, looking into sOmething that wasn’t intended that way.

But these are still my feelings.

I feel bad mouthed
I don’t want to appear ungrateful.
I feel misunderstood

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:55am
842: Smile says:

And just SAYING how you feel is always a tremendous act of confidence.

Yey, I texed my friend, sharing my feelings.

Feel bit nervous bout her reply

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:15am
843: Silver Moonbeam says:

As you know on my date with number one man on Wednesday night he seemed to think I was frightened because I was leaning back (!!!).

Can somebody please give me some tips of how to practise today so I don’t appear that way.

Lean back, unzipped heart, palms open, warm and inviting??

I have the Targetting Mr Right programme and started watching DVD number 1 last night but don’t have time to watch them all, does anybody have them and can advise me which DVD I would get most out of for a quick brush up?

Thank you. xxx

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:19am
844: Simply Goddess says:

How can I go out with friends and then come home and cry myself to sleep..
Woken up upset aswell..

No contact whatsoever.. Just feel so alone..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:20am
845: Silver Moonbeam says:

Oh and let the man lead the conversation which is a HUGE challenge for me as I am quite chatty and animated when I get on a roll.

Also I am meeting this guy at the railway station (in less than 4 hours eeek) and we are going to have this thing of where to go or what to do. How do I word it that it is up to him to make the decision as he is the man………

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:21am
846: Silver Moonbeam says:

#837 Simply Goddess

{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:22am
847: Smile says:

Silver moonbeam

Don’t forget to smile!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:27am
848: Smile says:

838, silver moonbeam,

I love it when a man takes the lead and makes decisions, it makes me feel…

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:30am
849: Smile says:

(((simply goddess)))

Feel those feelings

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:31am
850: Silver Moonbeam says:

I have to say this to him? Gulp getting anxious now. Pre RR I never felt like this in the slightest lol!!

“I love it when a man takes the lead and makes decisions, it makes me feel like a natural woman.”

“I love it when a man takes the lead and makes decisions, it makes me feel romantic.”

“I love it when a man takes the lead and makes decisions, it makes me feel cared for.”

“I love it when a man takes the lead and makes decisions, it makes me feel feminine.”

“I love it when a man takes the lead and makes decisions, it makes me feel juicy.” (better not say that one on a first date!!)

Any or none of the above?

And Smile you can call me SMB much easier.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:36am
851: Smile says:

SMB, you don’t have to say it if you don’t feel comfy,

Lots of times I’ve known ‘what’ to say but not felt I could. It’s coming with practise. I still feel new to this. This is what I would say with a big smile.

Love all the feelings you chose. They aren’t my feelings they’re yours, which feeling fits best? The last one made me feel giggly 

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:41am
852: Silver Moonbeam says:

I love it when a man takes the lead, it makes me feel …….

I don’t feel comfortable with the longer sentence because I know I will forget what to say and end up looking like a fool lol!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:44am
853: Smile says:

If you feel anxious it’s okay to say.

From roris post above

Often – actually saying straight out that you feel shaky and weird and insecure is the BEST thing you can do in a tense moment.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:45am
854: Silver Moonbeam says:

it makes me feel protected?

safe?

secure?

sorry for spamming the blog!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:45am
855: Smile says:

we are going to have this thing of where to go or what to do. How do I word it that it is up to him to make the decision as he is the man………

Shorter version… Simply

I love it when a man takes the lead.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:48am
856: Smile says:

Smb, that’s what it’s here for… To practise!

I feel I’m practising alongside with you 

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:50am
857: Silver Moonbeam says:

Ah good one Smile, thank you!! Yes short and sweet is best for me as I will be trying to remember all the other stuff.

I am the Yummy Pie.

I am the air he breathes.

I am on the pedestal not him.

It’s all about me me me and how he makes me feel when I am with him.

See I have retained some of the RR ways.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:52am
858: Simply Goddess says:

:’(

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:57am
859: Smile says:

Yey! Babysteps as Rori says. I can zoom feel overwhelmed with all the tools.

Another thought I had was, can you trust that he has already made plans and will naturally take the lead…?

From roris post above…But if you just practice this constant slowing down, being aware, tracking, shifting your thoughts…it’ll just all fall into place for you.

Off for a family day out!

Hope you have a great date! 

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 2:58am
860: Silver Moonbeam says:

Thanks Smile, you have been a great help – hope you have a lovely day too.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:06am
861: Daria says:

Babysteps – I take it as a good sign when it gets worse like that. I’m touching it.

I imagine the feeling as being felt by a lil girl me. That part is important for me to be able go handle freling it. Then I apply some attachment patenting techniques and say. I’m here for you as long as you feel these big scary feelings. (I know they Will pass). Then in my mind I go hug the lil girl. Or if she looks hesitant I ask her if she wants a hug. (if she doesnt, i tell her ok and im still right there ) Children will cry powerfully in parents arms and release that, and then it will be over.

It did take me about 10 min w a powerful heartbreak feeling yesterday . It feels like a looong time. Doing other activities even checking email kinda dilutes the power. Full attention on my lil girl.

Many times it takes just 30 seconds.

Innerbonding.com has simikar articles about how to bond with ourselves. This one I made it up myself.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:14am
862: Simply Goddess says:

well yesterday.. after a barrage of texts saying basically

hes not the one with all the problems..
he tries to get on with things and just gets things thrown in his face and cant cope with it
His conscience is clear
Have I thought about him having to go through losing his job over drugs, drug problems etc not just me going through it..
I dont go watch his daughter horse riding
Shes started asking if i dont like her (bollocks I cant do enough for her and have let him and daughter stay in my mums rent free when they had nowhere to go even though I was getting aggro from the mother!) Im like her personal entertainer!
I use emotional blackmail
Im a ‘minge bag’ (tight with money! HA! – this from the guy whos spent all mine :/)
He tries to start afresh and get on and I dont think about what others go through..
He cant move forward when im moving back..
..and lastly about the bra.. god knows, if you went through all my stuff you’d probably find things! Which when I replied was a strange comment he told me he’ll ‘see me around, and call up for his stuff in the week’

So basically all the things I’ve gone through.. him spending all my money without asking, sitting there in drug hell, crying and feeling alone, being told I was going on a luxury holiday and thats why he was contantly working (which never materialised!), putting him up at mine when he had nowhere to go – rent free even though my mother wasnt pleased..
Ahh I could go on..

but apparently Im just in the wrong for mentioning it or being in the least it bothered about things like that.. he just tries to get on with it.. Argh!

And I know.. you question why I’m even with him.. My self esteem is obviously really low.. but there are good times..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:34am
863: Simply Goddess says:

Anyway I did say I didn’t expect that barrage of texts and he replied..

“Its not a barrage of texts, its just how I feel.. Or have been made to feel”

Then no more word till today.. just now hes sent..

“What are we doin then, Whats going on?”
then straight after.. “So whats happening then whats going on?”

Then another a few minutes later saying “???”

What the hell does that mean..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:41am
864: Silver Moonbeam says:

#855 Simply Goddess

Bollocks

Minge bag.

You must be in the UK like me.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:41am
865: Simply Goddess says:

Haha, I sure am..

Mid rant I forget most sirens will not have a clue what I’m talking about

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:55am
866: Silver Moonbeam says:

Yes they are mainly American and Canadian and Butterfly Wings is an Aussie. We know their slang so much better than they know ours, with all the American movies and TV shows……..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 3:56am
867: Tam says:

Hi Ladies,

hi Smile…I also find it hard to tell my friends my feelings when I feel bad about something..it isn’t easy!!

Yes, yes, I know it isn’t leaning forward to contact him for help but I feel scared that it would complicate things, and also he is angry with me now. Or at least silent. I see how it goes this week.

I am also being teased by boats underneath my window again…two perfect weekends for boating just passed me by, that makes me feel sad.

But all good, all is good and all will be good.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:16am
868: MissStix says:

Before I keep scrolling down….

((((simply goddess))))

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:17am
869: MissStix says:

Simply Goddess

….I can hardly say anything right now without saying “what I really think…” which we are not supposed to do….

All I should say is I feel a lot of resonance with what you say. I have been there. And…he knows he has taken advantage of you and is guilt-projecting blame onto you. No one can “make” anyone feel anything unless they are being abusive.

ok getting into thoughts…Gotta stop.

We are here for you!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:33am
870: LiliBee says:

I was cutting out pictures for my wishboard yesterday, and D called.
He invited himself over saying “I’ll go see you in an hour”
I said “Well, you’ll be coming at my dinner time. If you want to join me, I’m having fish and there’s enough for 2.”

He brought a bottle of wine he bought when we visited a vinyard on our last vacation together.
That felt special, and I made a point of noticing.

While I was preparing dinner, he saw my unopened box for my cable tv decoder and opened it and installed it.
I said “Aw, I was saying to myself when I brought that thing in ‘I miss having a man around to install these things’. I feel so happy having a man do that for me. I could manage on my own, but I don’t feel inclined to digital gadgets. I just feel like it’s a man thing, and I like having a man around to do these things.”
I could see his shoulders widen and his chest puff out.
I really do feel that way. I’ve had that thing sitting there for 5 days.

He had handmade the piece of furniture my tv is sitting on.
The cable thing doesn’t fit in it.
He said he would make a piece to add on.
I said “I know how incredibly busy you are, it makes me feel special that you would do that for me.”

It feels so weird.
It’s like back to the beginning, all fresh and new.
Coz that’s how we started dating.
My friend had referred me to him to make that furniture piece.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:40am
871: Tam says:

I need to shift my vibe so badly and I have run out of things to do other than chores that I have been putting off…all the while people having fun on boats are laughing underneath my window going past…miaow…

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:44am
872: Femininewoman says:

It’s like back to the beginning, all fresh and new.

It would be great if he experiences you as new too LiliBee.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:45am
873: Femininewoman says:

Tam you can talk to yourself in fron of the mirror too. I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself. Paint yourself in love as you lather soap on each inch of your body. Stand naked in front of the mirror.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:48am
874: Tam says:

866 FW, thank you. Will try that right now..in between chores

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:52am
875: Daria says:

i’m feeling excited! I’m starting to dig eating seaweed! the taste too!

yah!

woo hooo hooo

grean see woman

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:52am
876: MissStix says:

(((lilibee)))

I love back to the beginnings so much so I can barely keep myself from suggesting it when my relationship shakes itself up…

I almost asked G if he would be willing to “date me” again after we had a spat recently. I stopped myself because I see it as a different form of running away to ask for it.

It feels nice for me to see you have this opportunity come about authentically. No matter what happens, it is such a learning experience!

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:53am
877: Femininewoman says:

By Jonathon Aslay on October 4, 2012in Dating

A Man Who Can Use Power Tools… Is That A Bonus?

While cleaning out my girlfriend’s garage this morning my skills as a manly man were quite lacking. From spacial orientation to the proper use of a wet-vac, my dysfunction was quite obvious when it comes to manual labor. Let’s face it, I’m not one of those “fix it” kinda guys. Changing a light bulb is all I’m good for. My only real asset is the ability to do heavy lifting given my 6’2″ 225 lbs. frame.

After posting this on my Facebook wall, a lively discussion took off about men who are handy around the house. The general consensus was that men who are able to fix things and who are handy were far more attractive than their counterparts.

So let me ask you, what male attributes are really important in relationship? Is it integrity? Honesty? Generosity? Listening? Communicating? Partnership?

What about the men whose actions match their words? How about the men who call when they say they are going to call? What about the men who plan dates? How about men who are committed to partnership?

What is a manly man? Can it be a man who can hold you when you are feeling down? Can it be a man who will stand by your side when you are in pain? Can it be a man who knows when you need a hug?

These days what constitutes a manly man in relationship, integrity and honesty or does he also need to be proficient using power-tools?

My hope is that a man who shows up present is truly sexy and a man who knows how to fix things is just a bonus.

http://understandmennow.com/dating/a-man-who-can-use-power-tools-is-that-a-bonus/

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 5:57am
878: MissStix says:

Oh…I can use power tools more expertly than my man!

And actually I feel far more turned on to watch a man do things judged as not “manly”.

I wrote a post with some in it.

Carrying groceries.

Cleaning and vacuuming.

Cooking.

Rawr!!!!! And yum.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:00am
879: MissStix says:

I think…When a man uses power tools it’s like…Meh. Just another man using just another tool.

I feel sexzy when I use a tile saw Not when he does.

I feel sexzy when he vacuums, not when I do…

This makes so much sense to me.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:03am
880: Butterfly Wings says:

Hi everyone. Just popping in quickly before I go to bed. I had a huge weekend, much of it quite emotional. TH is off on another overseas holiday next Friday (for those who aren’t on Siren Island and don’t know), and I’m NOT happy. He’s going with one of the boys from work.

After a lot of talking, I have decided to accept it rather than walk away, mostly because we are not in a relationship so he’s really done nothing wrong.

Also, he has a female friend over there who he talks to online almost every day and who he will be meeting up with. I feel totally icky about it. So icky in fact that I basically spewed out exactly what I thought in a very un-sireny manner last night.

What came out of that is that she is actually on MY side, which kind of felt good to hear from him, although something just doesn’t feel “right”.

I KNOW he’s not the cheating type, and I KNOW he’s a good guy. She’s also from a culture that frowns on s*x outside of marriage, and he has told me that nothing has ever happened with her, nor does he WANT anything to happen with her – they are just friends.

Sigh… so I’m wondering if this feeling of “not right” stems from the baggage I’m carrying from my last marriage. I’m also scared that by trusting him I am possibly crossing the line to being gullible. Argh!

And is this new situation presenting itself to teach me to trust? Or is it presenting itself because I didn’t learn the lesson from married woman and this is another lesson, where I should walk away???

Why am I being presented with these difficult situations with him???

He finally implied (without using the L word) that he loved me last night – first time ever.

He also told me how much he cares about me and how he has noticed some positive changes in me over the last couple of months and how he’d like it to continue because he was on the verge of committing to me only a few months ago, and if it keeps going like this, it will happen.

ARGH! I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me why I’m being presented with these lessons and what I should do about them!!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:13am
881: Tam says:

I feel bad when it’s the man backing away not me.
I am backing away and changing my vibe now….oh vibe, hellooooooooo, will you shift please?
Thank you

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:17am
882: GoddessInTraining says:

Hi! I’m new to this program and so far I feel like something is slowly, wonderfully shifting in myself and my relationship. What I’m writing about may be shifting too, but it is such a tender spot, I would like some help in case it does continue to come up. My husband is a celebrity of sorts and is basically worshiped by both men and women. I call him “universally lovable”. I’ve never seen anyone not feel attracted to and to some degree treat him like he is royalty. Never quite met anyone like this to this degree. I tell you this because I have noticed it is very hard for people to speak up to him and therefore, he has gotten away with some behaviors that don’t feel so good to me as his partner. One behavior in particular is he has a strong need for attention from women and I don’t think his partners in the past have been able to speak up to him about how they feel about this. It is confusing because it can happen right in front of me. No hiding. And he says he is sorry (when confronted by me) and he doesn’t want me to feel bad. Mostly what I feel is there is sort of bonding with them that happens (talking to them about his life, getting advice). I have clearly expressed how I feel inside when he does this and he is way more conscious now of what is going on with me and what he is doing. BUT, I still feel it happening sometimes. Very subtly he is doing this “bonding” thing with some woman. If I am to trust my feelings, I will say that I have never felt like he would actually cross the line into a physical relationship with these women. That’s not it. It is a bond that is formed that frankly I want to have with him and I don’t want him to have with any other woman. My question is, when I feel this happening, how can I respond in the moment so he gets feedback immediately. Or, is it better to wait until we are away from the situation and then bring it up? It often sounds so petty to me to even bring it up because it is so subtle, and yet I cannot deny the feeling in me that some sort of line has been crossed that affects our relationship. If this does not make sense, I’m happy to clarify. Thank you!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:19am
883: Femininewoman says:

http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/shifting-your-vibe-is-counter-intuitive/

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:23am
884: Simply Goddess says:

I replied to him that “The only way it’ll work is if we discuss how we feel and work together to fix the problems.. It’d feel good to do that at some point if u want to..”

No reply and hes all over facebook.. Argh!

I’m bending over backwards really.. I know it..

I have so much work to do for tomorrow and all my mind is on this.. I just cant shift it..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:27am
885: Simply Goddess says:

I just want to run away and hide.. Escape this confusion, pain.. I just feel so lost..
I’m not strong enough.. I feel worthless because with situations like this I can feel how fragile and weak I am.. I let him walk all over me because Im scared to lose him.. Scared to be alone.. Scared someone else will get him just as hes on his feet.. Im just so scared.. Not good..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:37am
886: LiliBee says:

870:

FW,

You read my mind. I was going to post this next after I just finished putting on the laundry washing:

This is the 2nd time I see D since we took time to ourselves, and I haven’t said my speech yet about his honesty and integrity.

With my past anger fits and controlling, he had been pulling away and hiding innocent things from me to protect himself from my judgements and my threatening by walking away all the time.

Then he finally opened up, was honest and integral.
He needed time alone to think.
He came back around to test the waters last weekend.
He was so happy when I told him it did me alot of good to have all this time to myself, I really feel grounded and see clearly.
He hugged me real tight smiling and nodding and he said “We’ll be seeing each other real soon.”
When he called next, I kept light and fun, and he hung up saying “I’m sending you a big kiss.”

I want to tell him how much it meant to me that he was so open and honest.
His manipulating to hide things was what made me feel so insecure, angry and untrusting to want to controll him all the time.
I know he was gameplaying with me coz he was torn between being honest and risking me getting angry and walking out, or having things keep going like they were.
He had feelings for me and didn’t want to end it, but he couldn’t keep going as it was.
He felt stuck going around in circles and felt hopeless to get through to me.

He did the best thing to get through to me, he stepped away and gave me the time I needed to get myself grounded again.

I want him to know how much I appreciated him stopping his gameplaying and being honest and integral with me.
It inspired to me to respect him.
I felt like I looked up to him instead of down, like he grew 5 inches taller in that instant.
By sharing that, I know it will make him feel safe being open and honest with me.

I really feel that this guy wants what I want and he’s not wasting time playing games anymore, he’s serious.
For the 1st time, he didn’t runaway by pursuing other women.
He spent his alone time working on furniture in his garage.
He did say once that it’s how and when he does his thinking.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:42am
887: Simply Goddess says:

I think hes serious about ending it..

Hes changed his profile picture which he hasnt done in a long time to one from months ago where hes lookin all nice..
Then hes added his job to his timeline and put ‘The boss’ @ and his work place.. Its knocked his relationship status with me off so you cant see it now on the iphone..

I might be just reading too much into things but to me its not looking good..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:42am
888: LiliBee says:

Last night, D was trying to convince me to go away on vacation with him next month.
I said I felt sad to see all my friends going away to the sunny beaches these days, and that I really felt like going too.
I only have 2 vacation days left, I’m short 3 days to make it a week.
He has a week left, and he was trying to find ways to solve my problem and convince me to go with him.

I believe the Universe is conspiring to have me go.
Next month was expected to be hectic with a big project at work, but it got delayed until springtime…so that would free me up workwise.
I told D about that, and that it’s only a matter of my income for those 3 days and my boss’s approval.
I can’t afford 3 days off unpaid.

I’ll let him figure that out for me.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:49am
889: MissStix says:

((((Simply Goddess))))

I have a vision for you…

A man. Many men even. To treat you like the goddess you are. To show you how amazing men can really be. While you show the world how amazing you really are.

Oh I can’t remembert the mantra, but it’s something like this…Say it with me…

I am an amazing and beautiful woman. My eyes are magnets for any man. My body is a lucsious paradise

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:52am
890: MissStix says:

woops cont’

…My body is a luscious paradise. My heart is pure gold.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:53am
891: Simply Goddess says:

He told me hes in work today but then hes on facebook chat so obviously isnt..
I have the urge to talk to him.. Is that really leaning forward to just pop up on chat.. He hasnt replied to my text..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:55am
892: Tam says:

I am rooting for me, not a man.
I want love not pain.
Pain is not love.
I do not want to act out what happened in my past.
I do not want to stay open to a man who had 4 chances – I want to walk away and not look back.
I want something that makes me feel good.
I want to read a book
I want peace and harmony
I don’t want longing
I don’t want the same pattern again and again, my life in NOT groundhog day.
I want to start fresh.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 6:56am
893: Simply Goddess says:

Ok.. I couldnt resist.. I tried..

I just put.. “What do you really want David?”

He replied straight away..

“Just for you to stop moaning ad making me feel like shit when Im trying to get on and make the most of things..”

What the blo ody he ll do I say to that?

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:15am
894: luzydel says:

The Post Bellow is just MY PERSONAL RANT….

I deleted totally my POF account; yikes i felt like a looser browsing profiles, I unhide it for a bit and starting to talk to some dude. Not someone attractive or smart, but in the name of being open I went along.
Wow! The time it took me to realized how delusional some men are, could have been used to go out for coffee and flirt with a random guy with his laptop. Or go to a bar by myself and just start a conversation with the bar tender. Using RR’s Tool has made me very picky, and not so desperate. I don’t mind Cding, but if I have to go to the self humiliation called online dating, I rather have a colonoscopy.

This is just a random post letting my frustration out; going out and flirt with the world; The real meaning of connecting with people if you all remember

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:15am
895: MissStix says:

Simply goddess

Just say “ok”.

Seriously! Say it!

“ok”

Let go.

“ok”

Every time he rants or says something stubborn or frustrating…

“ok”.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:19am
896: LiliBee says:

873:

(((BW))),

As you know, you and me are alot alike and are following the same types of patterns.

I have experienced tremendous healing last weekend over exactly what you are talking about.
I have always had women around my men who I felt as a threat to my relationship.

My feelings, my vibe and my focus have shifted from ‘him’ to ‘relationship’ with myself and others.
I feel my focus on getting the relationship instead of the man.
After I came to that vibe, I listened to Rori’s Heart Connection toolkit, and she talks about choosing ‘relationship’ instead of the man.

My relationship with D reflects my relationship with myself.

If you want to ‘get’ what I’m talking about, go to the last thread and do ‘control F’. A ‘find’ field appears at the top of your browser to type in my name to find all my posts.
I shared my entire pathway to selfhealing about this issue over on the last thread.

I really know and felt where you are.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:20am
897: MissStix says:

Feel your feelings acknowledge them to yourself and say…

“ok”.

Then write down how you feel for your own eyes….

Urgh!!! I feel so frustrated, heart sick, sad, angry. I feel urges to…attack, and blame and question…

Whatever you feel. But for now, while he’s projecting blame onto you, just say…Ok.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:23am
898: Belle says:

I feel so good and calm this morning, listening to Tulku and looking forward to a walk in my gorgeous neighborhood.
Yesterday I thought of T and an old memory that was so amazing and had always felt besmirched by his presence there.
It was like he was this dark shadowy anchor, ball-and-chain figure dragging me down.
Suddenly, I knew what to do…instead of dragging him around, trying to kick him away, feeling so pi$$ed and annoyed he was there, I put him inside of me.
When I did, I felt this strong, golden presence become part of me. It was all of the very best of my experience of him and the heavy, shadowy part just disappeared. I felt a huge relief.

Oh, I just changed my mind about my plans for this morning. I remember that last night I dreamed I was walking along the shore of the bay in the neighborhood where I grew up…there were many people there, all standing at the edge of the water with their toes in the water and I noticed how clean, sparkling and warm the water was.
To honor my dream I will go there this morning, it’s not very far from here, and dip my toes in the water.

I also feel gigglylight remembering that I woke up yesterday using FM’s in my dreams

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:26am
899: MissStix says:

Oh I feel urgent to help Simply goddess and “advise”. oops.

Why is this coming up for me? I see myself in her words….I see a situation I have experienced and I think “If I had known then, what I know now this is what I would have done.”. But that does not mean I know best ((((me)))) ((((sg))))

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:26am
900: LiliBee says:

875:

Ah FW!

I read that link just now.
I feel so happy
It makes me feel validated for what I’ve been doing for myself these last 2 weeks.

I don’t go on actual dates, I cd by practicing being open, warm, authentic feely and getting comfortable letting men around me get close to me.
There are lots and lots of men that I enteract with at work all the time.
I used to be comfortable being cold, closed off and all businessy.
Work has been alot more flowy and I have felt way more appreciated.
I can be open, warm and inviting while still being professional.
I believe I am being experienced more as real and human.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:31am
901: Femininewoman says:

LiliBee isn’t it wonderful? I find myself feeling more and more grounded. Shifting more and more and being into myself. Raising my own status in my own eyes.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:50am
902: Femininewoman says:

I feel like I have 5 inches taller in my own eyes.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 7:51am
903: Tam says:

Sinking into my feelings.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:03am
904: MissStix says:

Happy thanksgiving Canadian Girls!

I love this harvest celebration, and I feel so stoked for family dinner!

I feel thankful for…Myself, the love I have found for me, my life, my mom, dad, bro, G, my entire family, the food I have to eat, and the roofs I have over my head, this blog, and all it’s sirens!

I also, in tradition, give thanks to all the plentiful harvests all over the world and I would feel extra thankful if every person on the planet could have a full belly today. Since that is not possible, I will make a donation of whatever I can afford to the local food bank.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:04am
905: Tam says:

I feel like a kid, whose friends had invited her to play, and then they never turned up. That’s how I feel.
Disappointed and lonely and ignored.
Gone to play without me.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:07am
906: Goddess Lily says:

Doing the same things we’ve always done will certainly get us the same crap and crumbs we’ve gotten before.

I’m starting to remove myself from anything that doesn’t feel good. Slow start, but still a start. I’m starting to let go of SOME expectation and just be surprised.

I think I am growing up. I did the exact opposite of what anyone of my friends (and me) would’ve advised me to do the other day. I went straight to my work ex, the one I love so much, after a night out. I went to him at 130am (you know where this is headed). I had no expectations. I didn’t care but not in a reckless, feel bad later, sort of way. I knew what could possibly happen. Long story short, after much flirting, trying, and even talking, I decided to go for it. I truly no longer expected anything more from him than the fun I was about to have. And then I left, I left and felt happy. In the past, I would’ve stayed overnight and needed to feel close to him, etc. And then felt awful for giving in.

It was almost like closure. And I know what Rori says about closure but I didn’t go there for closure nor was that my vibe and miraculously that’s what I got. I feel so lifted and released from my love for him. I still love him. But now I really BELIEVE there is someone better out there for me. He is now in the lesson teaching category and the lesson I need to learn from him is confidence. He tells me that all the time.

And for that ONE guy who called me a 7 on match.com there have been 30 others who have stopped to tell me I’m beautiful. And then the universe sent me two other confidence boosters. Wait three! “MiniCD” and “LargerThanLifeCD” and then an “oldfriendfromworkwhowisheshehadlivedhislifedifferentsohewould’vehadachancewithmeCD” LOL. All from my past but I never wanted a relationship with them….still don’t. But boy did they come out of the woodwork professing how amazingly wonderful and gorgeous I am and how every guy I’ve dated has been beneath me.

At least for this weekend, I have been living in the moment. Surrendering to now perhaps. I have faith that I will meet my Mr. Right but I’m not focused on it (at least not today). I’m thinking about what needs to be done and want I want to do today.

And with that my lovely sirens, I must go prepare my house for a good friend who is coming to visit. I will check in later. Hugs and love to all, especially to you Simply Goddess.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:17am
907: Simply Goddess says:

Just part of our conversation.. I dont feel any better.. Please feel free to be honest if Im in the wrong here.. It just doesnt make me feel good.. Am I being too fussy? I’ve just started a new job.. his home is an hour away.. I never had a problem before about moving there but I felt like it was a decision between us.. Like I was always involved..
(sorry for the spelling mistakes, hopefully you can understand it)

Me – I feel scared.. when things are kept from me.. and I feel shut out, I dont feel involved anymore..

Him – well i av been lookin for a place to liv cos i dnt feel comfy anymore cos it gets thrown in my face…. if i did get a place i would b getn it in **** and to b close to *** to c her thru the week…. so if u decide to come when a place is sorted… i’d giv u half the petty money to get to and from work and i’d ride bike to work… cos thats wha i want an wha i have in mind…i wudnt kick u out… befor ther was drugs there aint no more.. the only problem is when i work now innit
u say ya feel shut out.. wel yano wha am thinkin now..,..
an wha i av in mind

see.. your sortin ur own place and i can decide to come if i want to.. hows that involving someone and having a relationship..
What happened to looking for somewhere together
but the problem is u cant be in a relationship and have that mind set and thats where things go wrong..

cos u wont wanna come if i said would ya… i only wanna flat for a bit.. WID U…to c how things go… an if i did i’d take u to view it .. so how dnt i have u involved
or how wudnt i av u involved

It would feel amazing to look for our first house together with my boyfriend.. thats how it shud be..
not this

yeah but wanna flat first to c how it is… an how it goes
we may not cope

its all about you.. what you want.. where you wanna go.. what you wanna do.. I feel really miserable hearing it all.. Im not involved at all.. just telling me isnt involvling me
I just dont feel like you have my best interests at heart anymore.. I think thinks have changed so your looking out for yourself and I can tag along if I want.. and I understand it.. Im not having a go.. but it doesnt feel good to me.. and thats been the problem really
I do think its best you get somewhere in **** though

so ya think its best ‘I’ get somewher in ***
not ‘US’

(..I think Im going to tell him to get his own place then.. dont think were ready for moving in, just see how it goes..)
Im going to take a week to think about what I want because how I can go from splitting up to moving in talks I dont know.. Its all mental.. and I feel nothing has been resolved or changed..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:26am
908: Simply Goddess says:

Just part of our conversation.. I dont feel any better.. Please feel free to be honest if Im in the wrong here.. It just doesnt make me feel good.. Am I being too fussy? I’ve just started a new job.. his home is an hour away.. I never had a problem before about moving there but I felt like it was a decision between us.. Like I was always involved..
(sorry for the spelling mistakes, hopefully you can understand it)

Me – I feel scared.. when things are kept from me.. and I feel shut out, I dont feel involved anymore..

Him – well i av been lookin for a place to liv cos i dnt feel comfy anymore cos it gets thrown in my face…. if i did get a place i would b getn it in **** and to b close to *** to c her thru the week…. so if u decide to come when a place is sorted… i’d giv u half the petty money to get to and from work and i’d ride bike to work… cos thats wha i want an wha i have in mind…i wudnt kick u out… befor ther was drugs there aint no more.. the only problem is when i work now innit
u say ya feel shut out.. wel yano wha am thinkin now..,..
an wha i av in mind

see.. your sortin ur own place and i can decide to come if i want to.. hows that involving someone and having a relationship..
What happened to looking for somewhere together
but the problem is u cant be in a relationship and have that mind set and thats where things go wrong..

cos u wont wanna come if i said would ya… i only wanna flat for a bit.. WID U…to c how things go… an if i did i’d take u to view it .. so how dnt i have u involved
or how wudnt i av u involved

It would feel amazing to look for our first house together with my boyfriend.. thats how it shud be..
not this

yeah but wanna flat first to c how it is… an how it goes
we may not cope

its all about you.. what you want.. where you wanna go.. what you wanna do.. I feel really miserable hearing it all.. Im not involved at all.. just telling me isnt involvling me
I just dont feel like you have my best interests at heart anymore.. I think thinks have changed so your looking out for yourself and I can tag along if I want.. and I understand it.. Im not having a go.. but it doesnt feel good to me.. and thats been the problem really
I do think its best you get somewhere in **** though

so ya think its best ‘I’ get somewher in ***
not ‘US’

(..I think Im going to tell him to get his own place then.. dont think were ready for moving in, just see how it goes..)
Im going to take a week to think about what I want because how I can go from splitting up to moving in talks I dont know.. Its all mental.. and I feel nothing has been resolved or changed..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:26am
909: Tam says:

Goddess Lily, that was brave. I admire that.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:48am
910: Tam says:

I feel sad and like all the positive change I did in the last few months has just been wiped out.
I feel needy.
I want love and to be loved.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:50am
911: Daria says:

draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

aww i love your drama D

we will heal this

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 8:59am
912: Daria says:

you are weak you are fake you are lying to urself you are trippin you are clueless you are getting what you deserve awwww

i lov your weakness your fakeness your lying to yourself ness your trippin your cluelessness your getting what you deserve judging ness compassionaless nesss

i love your sillyness your desperateness your embarassdenss your frustraing ness your eye rolling ness your cringe ness

hgggghhhh

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 9:01am
913: LiliBee says:

894:

Funny you should mention that FW:
I always pictured you as 5’9″, to me, that’s tall.

I look up to Turquoise too, and I pictured her to be tall too. Turns out she’s same height as me, very petite.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 9:07am
914: Tam says:

I am taking my ‘little girl’ to the beach now and take care of her, taking her by the hand and let her search for sea shells. And she can cry behind her sunglasses if she wants to.
And she can feel how she feels and not having to ‘get over it’.
I’ll just let her be.
And stroke her.
And she does not need to engage with men that make her feel bad or pressured. She is free to do whatever she feels like.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 9:14am
915: Simply Goddess says:

well we were talking and then he started getting sexual.. Saying he might nip down later after he dropped his daughter off.. He’ll see how horny he feels! The cheek!
I said I needed to think about things first.. and he said think about what.. I said things, us of course. He got really ratty and said ‘it must have been a good night when you went out last night! you go think about ‘us’, I’ll speak to you through the week!’

Hmph..

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 9:32am
916: LiliBee says:

871:

I feel most turned on seeing D dusting his furniture around his house with a feather duster.
It revs up my engine, lol

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 9:37am
917: Starbright says:

(((Simply Goddess,)))

Have you considered some forms of cding? Such as cding yourself by doing things you are passionate about, that make you feel good just because they do? And getting the focus back on you?

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 10:18am
918: Starbright says:

Simply Goddess,

You asked if you were being “too fussy?”

No!!!! Do you have any of Rori’s programs?

Her e book, Reconnect and/or toxic men? Listening to Rori talk can really help to turn the focus on one’s self!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 10:22am
919: Starbright says:

Simply Goddess,

As much as possible I would encourage sticking to: I don’t wants, I feel, I want, and keep the “you” words out. They can feel blamey and judging. When sticking with the above it is easier for the other party to receive.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 10:25am
920: Smile says:

From roris good night talk email…

You’ll be able to tell when he’s had enough phone time. (Though, if you share your feelings in this “Goodnight Talk” style, he might just suggest he jump in the car and come over just then.)

I’m feel so excited and giddy reading this…after Friday nights phone call, he did say exactly that… That he wanted to get in his car and come round!

He didn’t as it was getting late and he had just got out of hospital but reading it in roris email makes me feel like shouting
YES YES YES!!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 10:39am
921: Simply Goddess says:

Thank you Starbright. It’s good to be reminded, in the heat of the moment I tend to vent..

Smile, What is Goodnight Talk? I’m intrigued x

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 10:51am
922: Daria says:

I did it yall! I did it!

I called and talked to my Godson! awwww he sounds so GROWN not shy no more ohhhhhh ma babyyy

and i talked to his mom, lol she is funny!

hehe

but she got right on to complaining about my brother her dude and how he is not giving her money etc etc the same story always

oh i wish bra brah was good at getting money cant wait till he is i just want to maybe do some EFT for him or something

but there was no issue w me and her and we’re both like ok we’ll talk when you gget back inteh country

hehehee

ohhhhhh yall dont know what ive been going thru getting ready to make this phonecall

ALL THAT DREAD AND EFT AND TERROR AND JUST FEELING HORRIBLE

ohhhhhhhh

I feel so hpapy i did it just like i intended

yummie yummie ME

im a Good Masculine Energy Parental Figure I can Step up for the children i love and get thru my terror

ohhhhhhhhh

i want to be transformed in a healing way by this

i so rock!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 11:00am
923: Daria says:

if i had a best friend that knew me this they know how my mornings and whole days for the last 2 months have been devoted to this and hte past 7 months have been terrorized by it

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 11:02am
924: smile says:

The “Goodnight Talk” That’ll Leave Him Dreaming About You And Wanting You… All Night Long And Beyond

One of the most useless things we women do is talk about business, or business-like things, on the phone at night with a man we’d like to love.

A man is used to hearing facts all day, and what he craves from you are FEELINGS. It’s what makes him connect to you. This doesn’t mean you can’t share what you think, but I want you to be able to do it in a way that connects with his heart and stirs up his emotions for you!

Try this “Goodnight Talk” instead:

He calls, the phone rings, you pick up, say “Hi.”

His voice is on the other end. “Hi,” he says.

“Oh,” you say, “It feels so good to hear your voice.” Notice the word feel in there.

He says, “Oh… Yeah, it’s great to hear yours, too,” (or something like that.)

Quiet.

If he doesn’t speak, you don’t speak.

Getting In Touch With Your Soft, Sensual Side

But you do some other important things. Put down the kitchen stuff, stop puttering around, pick up the kitty, and settle down into a soft chair, kitty on your lap. (If you don’t have an accommodating cat, use a pillow, a stuffed animal, or your own leg – you’ll need it to pet something.)

He says “So, how was your day…?”

This is the tricky question. And you don’t have to answer it the way you think you need to.

Responding With Feeling Messages
Instead of “Oh, it was a little hectic at the office, so much stuff going on, but it was a good day… etc.”

Try: “Oh, I felt so overwhelmed with all the paperwork,” or “It felt like it flew by, I felt so caught up in how fast the sales were flashing across my screen,” or “I feel so great being home, all curled up on this chair with the kitty in my lap. Oh, she feels so soft. I can feel her purr.” (Notice more feeling messages.)

With your consciousness in your body, your feelings, your heart – and out of your head, business, facts and logic – your intuition will now kick in. You’ll be able to sense when the conversation runs out of steam.

You’ll be able to tell when he’s had enough phone time. (Though, if you share your feelings in this “Goodnight Talk” style, he might just suggest he jump in the car and come over just then.)

You’ll be able to say “I feel so relaxed. I feel like I could just drift off here with the cat,” and he’ll say “Sweet dreams” instead of “Well, I’ve got to go now.”

Creating Deeper And Deeper Attraction In Him
The Goodnight Talk is an example of how to talk from your feeling state.

If we want it all, we can have it. In charge of ourselves by day, object of passionate desire by night. Who wouldn’t want that?

Feelings will get you everything. Thinking will get you half.

Learn to talk from your heart, and you’ll pull in men who want to touch your heart with their own.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 11:49am
925: smile says:

Simply goddess, Do you receive Rori’s emails?

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 11:50am
926: Daria says:

Daria I love you see you and hear you, and I care about what you have to say. So much. U are just as worthy sa everyone here. You deserve attention and love.

I feel angry and unimportant and I love my feelings.

I love me.

Also I’m feeling concerned that I didn’t ‘discuss’ not wanting to be yelled at or threatened. — don’t have to.

In the moment will I be able to handle it?

I feel scared no.

I know I can. I want to be able to.

I am brave and powerful.

I am healing.

I can use EFT the way I have so far.

Yayyy Daria.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:04pm
927: Rori Raye says:

Goddess – I’ve never made this referral before – but go to Tony Robbins’ wife. You can find him everywhere, he now does relationship stuff with his wife…if it were me, I’d go to their blog, or however you can contact them and post this same comment. Another man universally loved and worshipped, who bonds with whoever he’s talking with – and, since he’s been a personal friend for so long, I feel pretty sure his wife deals with this in a way that doesn’t damage their relationship – and he’s aware of it – and that he’s never “cheated” on this wife.

From me – it’s the “Bill Clinton” effect. A man who bonds with everyone – except Bill Clinton acted on it. So did Arnold S. If your husband is not like that – but wants the “rush” that this experience gives him – I would encourage you to reframe the entire situation in a way that doesn’t come from jealousy, or wanting him to make his world smaller – but for the two of you to build something BIGGER. You might want to investigate how that could look, and how YOUR including all of these women into the mix, rather than pushing against them – could increase your power in this situation (not to mention Circular Dating that would look exactly the way it looks on him – interacting with men in a deep, personal way). Love, Rori

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:08pm
928: Emma says:

So I backed away after having a date rescheduled on me twice from CD#2. Didn’t hear from him for 2 weeks, then several texts which I responded to but did actually say much. He did however apologize for rescheduling at the last minute on me. I was very busy when he texted and was unable to take 2 of his calls, then he stopped. I texted twice and apologized for missing the calls but haven’t had a response. What do I do? Should I call him? Or just leave it alone and move on.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:30pm
929: Daria says:

Daria loves herself

i love my annoyingness

i love my keep it real evaluator

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:53pm
930: Daria says:

i love my never good enuffness and sadnees

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:53pm
931: smile says:

He is cooking me tea on friday.

snippets of the convo…

SM: what would you like me to cook you Friday?

Me: oo it would feel nice to be surprised!

him: okay surprises I can do, What wine?

me: I trust you will make the right choices! you can’t go wrong, I like ‘em all!

With their being wine involved, he would have to stay over. He also doesn’t live close. I wanted to state my no sex boundaries again. I don’t want to put myself in a position on the night. I wanted to be clear before hand. I trust my boundaries.

This is what I shared (a mish mash of posts i’ve saved from sirens…felt so relieved to have them handy up my sleave when needed)

I’m still embracing the no sex boundary I feel protective of my heart, I feel like we’re rebuilding intimacy and trust and I want to feel secure in a committed relationship first. I just wanted to share that with you with after the ‘wine’ talk. I know you have a lot of respect for me. I also respect your timing of where your at and thats okay too, I just don’t want it to feel like pressure.

I held my breath after I sent it.

I kept repeating

you can’t push the right man away

you can’t push the right man away

He totally repected this.
He’s been texting all day today too

happy thank you, more please!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 12:53pm
932: smile says:

Something happened today which I shared with him as we had been texing to and fro.

He replied “I got a bit emotional reading that before in a good way”

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:00pm
933: Tam says:

Ohhhhh…Smile….I feel warm and happy reading that!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:06pm
934: smile says:

Tam, lets grab a glass of wine and sit and chat on the beach!

Reality is setting in now though, gonna relax in the bath and head on to bed.

Have you gotten rid of MrNapp today?

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:10pm
935: Daria says:

wow Smile! but aren’t you guys about to be separated? one of you is moving if i remember correctly… so im feeling confused about the being in a committed relationship?

(though of course he can step up, follow you, move mountains and such… and i would also continue receiving attention And holding my boundaries)

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:11pm
936: smile says:

Daria,
We separated at xmas. We had been in a committed relationship and about to live together. He moved his stuff in but never actually lived here. but I do not consider us as being in a relationship at the minute.
He is starting to step up more and more though. The other night he said “I’ve found the love of my life and I went and messed it up”
I am working the tools staying open but having firm boundaries around what feels good. Because we have been in a committed relationship before, the sex thing feels confusing. I needed to state my boundaries around this. It would be all to easy to think he can just have sex with me as this is what we did before. I want to make sure he is offering me a committed relationship again first before we sleep together.

I am moving out of the house we were meant to live in together. Mostly for financial reasons but also for a fresh start. I want to live near friends and family again.

I moved away from him emotionally.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 @ 1:27pm
937: Tam

Have The Relationship You Want

Backing Away Is Meaningless – It’s Your VIBE That Counts

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