Here’s a letter from Susan, who’s in a situation we can all identify with…and as Sirens, it’s so easy to see that her methods are getting her nowhere…
I’ve been seeing someone for about 4 months now who I really like, really really like, but every time I hinted around that I wanted things to be exclusive with us, he backs off a little more.
He does say and do little affectionate things sometimes that I can tell means he cares, but what bothers me most is we only talk on the phone when he calls me to come see him.
At first it was about twice a month (you see I’m a single mom and that’s as often as I possibly could meet him), but then it was once a month, and most recently he didn’t call at all when he knew I had a free weekend.
I called him that day (Saturday), just to see, but he didn’t pick up and hasn’t returned the call.
Is it hopeless?
Susan – I don’t mean this as a reprimand or a slap on the wrists – you’ve done nothing “wrong”…
But what you’re doing isn’t working.
And it’s putting you in a frame of mind that also is working against you, your confidence, your good feelings about yourself, and your equilibrium.
AND…because you want the truth from me, I’ll make it simple: You’re doing everything exactly the OPPOSITE way my work is all about!
Here are some of the things you are doing “incorrectly” according to me:
You do NOT want to be exclusive with a man until he asks you to marry him.
You want to date lots and lots of men all at the same time.
2. Seeing a man twice a month is not even considered “dating”
This is very casual, and you should be dating many men.
3. You should NEVER “go to him”at this stage of “dating”
He should pick you up and take you on dates. Simple
4. You are calling him
I do not want to tell you that this is hopeless, but it doesn’t sound good.
…and you have so much work you can do for yourself that will help you so much!
So – stop chasing him in any way (if you feel yourself even THINKING about him – you’re chasing him in your mind).
Doing the work for yourself that’s available to you here on the blog and in my ebook Have The Relationship You Want will not only help you on your own insides – it’s likely to significantly improve this situation…