Comments on: How To Glide Through Scary Dating http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/ Marriage & Relationship Advice From Rori Raye Thu, 09 Sep 2010 16:32:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=424 By: Maria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-2611 Maria Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:03:31 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-2611 Rory,thank you so much.See, l thought lm strong on my own, but every step further l feel that l need to help to gain the knowledge, which "my mum didnt tell me, nor my friends", and l was living my life with closed eyes, doing wrong path one after another, knowing if l go on like this, it will eventually end up bad. By the light of this blog lm geting to be aware of the truth and as for now my mistakes has been: -not creating a choises, but choosing the ones that just come around and me making myself fit in somehow... l wonder how lm still alive... Rory,thank you so much.See, l thought lm strong on my own, but every step further l feel that l need to help to gain the knowledge, which “my mum didnt tell me, nor my friends”, and l was living my life with closed eyes, doing wrong path one after another, knowing if l go on like this, it will eventually end up bad. By the light of this blog lm geting to be aware of the truth and as for now my mistakes has been:

-not creating a choises, but choosing the ones that just come around and me making myself fit in somehow…

l wonder how lm still alive…

]]> By: Cassandra http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-552 Cassandra Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:35:52 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-552 Ladies..... I have just begun to post on the site but have been reading it for a little while. I guess it took me a while to fell safe posting. Please know that each of you touch me and everyone else in such a wonderful and powerful way. Everyone here seems to be so supportive and REAL even in feelings that are not so fun to experience. I so hope that I can get to the point that you all are at where I can learn to love my feelings and really allow myself to feel them without shame or guilt. How do you do that? I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have found Rori and this blog. You are all a true gift. Hugs to each of you! Ladies…..
I have just begun to post on the site but have been reading it for a little while. I guess it took me a while to fell safe posting. Please know that each of you touch me and everyone else in such a wonderful and powerful way. Everyone here seems to be so supportive and REAL even in feelings that are not so fun to experience. I so hope that I can get to the point that you all are at where I can learn to love my feelings and really allow myself to feel them without shame or guilt. How do you do that?

I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have found Rori and this blog. You are all a true gift. Hugs to each of you!

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-537 Daria Sat, 25 Oct 2008 05:37:53 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-537 Thank you Ann... I feel the same way this forum is like having a circle of women friends! hugs back! Thank you Ann…

I feel the same way this forum is like having a circle of women friends!

hugs back!

]]> By: ann http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-533 ann Fri, 24 Oct 2008 22:33:10 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-533 Darla (hug), One thing I really like about this blog is the authenticity of the women here. I've live alot of my life in fear, I'm growing more here by doing my own work, but also by reading how all the other brave women here are learning & growing. When I see someone say I don't won't to do this & loving theirselve I applause their honesty. When I see Rori say, here is why you don't want to do x, y, z, but if you do it this way, here are the results you'll get. I hope I'm making myself clear. I feel like we are a group of women scattered all over the world, but holding each other's hands here. Sharing with each other, cheering for each other and holding each other up as we learn to have the relationships and lives we want. Thanks Rori for encoraging us to leave comments. Thanks ladies for sharing your journey. Darla (hug),

One thing I really like about this blog is the authenticity of the women here. I’ve live alot of my life in fear, I’m growing more here by doing my own work, but also by reading how all the other brave women here are learning & growing. When I see someone say I don’t won’t to do this & loving theirselve I applause their honesty. When I see Rori say, here is why you don’t want to do x, y, z, but if you do it this way, here are the results you’ll get. I hope I’m making myself clear. I feel like we are a group of women scattered all over the world, but holding each other’s hands here. Sharing with each other, cheering for each other and holding each other up as we learn to have the relationships and lives we want. Thanks Rori for encoraging us to leave comments. Thanks ladies for sharing your journey.

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-524 Daria Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:13:42 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-524 Thank you Rori... I am feeling better now... even though he has not called me back... I do not want to lose these people from my life... it feels weird but I asked God for them and they came... I manifested them a long time ago without knowing about manifesting or Law of Attraction or anything... I simply knew that I wanted to have lots of brothers (since I don't have any actually). I had felt somewhat out of place everywhere for years until I found them and I felt so free and joyful. Now I agree that I have lived through this happy period of my life and that it is time to change... I am afraid of change because I believe somewhere that letting go of people is selfish and is the reason behind families and society's problems... I believe in being there until the end... I believe in loving the unlovable like Mother Theresa. There is a saint I know of in my religion her name is Paraschiva. She was born in a rich family but one day when her and her family were coming home from church she saw poor people and she felt bad for them... she was only about 5 or 6 but she gave them her very expensive clothes. Her parents were mad at her for doing this. They thought she was crazy. But she kept doing this. Eventually she ran away and lived as a holy person and a mystic in a monestary and then in nature. The giving of everything she had really struck a chord in me and I see myself and wanted to be like this saint. I have always strived to see the good in people and continued to love people when they treated me wrong. I have given without expecting anything back. Well I did expect that people's hearts would soften but this was mostly for their own benefit. And they did. At first people did not appreciate me or my gifts but then they started to. People now know me as a loyal and loving person. They wonder at how I have come to have the friends I have because they don't usually befriend people. I do not want to let go of this! I feel I have earned it. At the same time, things are changing. I have learned to be more independent instead of basing my identity and happiness on my friends. I have learned now how to love myself and my feelings, even though I still am stumbling. And I have thanks to your tools learned to hold back on the giving, both so that I can receive and also to allow other people room to grow on their own. I feel terrified of losing everyone out my life now as I am changing. I still remember times when I was young where I spent months in the house doing nothing because I had no friends. I truly feel blessed to have had them. I do not want to feel lonely! It feels like drowning! I want to love all my feelings. I want to love the terror that I feel. I feel so hopeless like fighting back the ocean... I can carry all my friends and glue them all together but I cannot fight the ocean and I feel so sad... I feel my face tighten and my eyes feel hot and tears are coming out now... I feel so sad for me and for all the pain I have been through... I feel selfish sharing this and I know many people maybe even reading this blog have gone through as much or more... I am so grateful that I had a happy childhood without abuse... I feel so sad I am crying! I love my crying and shame... I am sooo sorry and I do not know why but I love me and the part of me that is sorry... and I feel so desperate. Thank you Rori for answering I was beginning to think that I am commenting too much or asking for too much help... I feel worried I will be addicted to this forum because it seems to lift me up so much and I check it constantly... I feel so embarassed... I feel sad and that is good... That means I am alive and I am SO glad to be alive... I feel sad... I feel worried that I may live my life through some terrible tragedy like a death camp or something and I feel scared that loving my feelings will not be enough in a situation like that... I am feeling better... It feels good to say all these things out loud... well write them down... my tears have slowed... I feel calm... and now I felt laughter... I am starting to feel happy! So strange... I love my happiness... I love my sadness... I love all of me... I want to believe that I will be all right... I feel afraid that I am going in circles... and that is ok I know Rori you said that it is a spiral... I want to love myself... I do love myself... I love myself even though I feel so angry that I cannot help my friends when I want to... I feel so angry that I cannot help myself... I feel so hopeless that I do not always feel appreciative of the good things I do for myself... I love my hopelessness... I feel confused loving my hopelessness but I want to love it... I want to love you hopelessness... Yes you! I see you in there... that feels like laughing... I miss u and love u hopelessness... I am here for you!!! I accept you and love you... that feels like smiling wide... it feels like calmness... Thank you everyone I am going to take my much awaited salt bath right now... Thank you Rori…
I am feeling better now… even though he has not called me back… I do not want to lose these people from my life… it feels weird but I asked God for them and they came… I manifested them a long time ago without knowing about manifesting or Law of Attraction or anything… I simply knew that I wanted to have lots of brothers (since I don’t have any actually). I had felt somewhat out of place everywhere for years until I found them and I felt so free and joyful. Now I agree that I have lived through this happy period of my life and that it is time to change… I am afraid of change because I believe somewhere that letting go of people is selfish and is the reason behind families and society’s problems… I believe in being there until the end… I believe in loving the unlovable like Mother Theresa. There is a saint I know of in my religion her name is Paraschiva. She was born in a rich family but one day when her and her family were coming home from church she saw poor people and she felt bad for them… she was only about 5 or 6 but she gave them her very expensive clothes. Her parents were mad at her for doing this. They thought she was crazy. But she kept doing this. Eventually she ran away and lived as a holy person and a mystic in a monestary and then in nature. The giving of everything she had really struck a chord in me and I see myself and wanted to be like this saint. I have always strived to see the good in people and continued to love people when they treated me wrong. I have given without expecting anything back. Well I did expect that people’s hearts would soften but this was mostly for their own benefit. And they did. At first people did not appreciate me or my gifts but then they started to. People now know me as a loyal and loving person. They wonder at how I have come to have the friends I have because they don’t usually befriend people.

I do not want to let go of this! I feel I have earned it. At the same time, things are changing. I have learned to be more independent instead of basing my identity and happiness on my friends. I have learned now how to love myself and my feelings, even though I still am stumbling. And I have thanks to your tools learned to hold back on the giving, both so that I can receive and also to allow other people room to grow on their own. I feel terrified of losing everyone out my life now as I am changing. I still remember times when I was young where I spent months in the house doing nothing because I had no friends. I truly feel blessed to have had them. I do not want to feel lonely! It feels like drowning!

I want to love all my feelings. I want to love the terror that I feel. I feel so hopeless like fighting back the ocean… I can carry all my friends and glue them all together but I cannot fight the ocean and I feel so sad… I feel my face tighten and my eyes feel hot and tears are coming out now… I feel so sad for me and for all the pain I have been through… I feel selfish sharing this and I know many people maybe even reading this blog have gone through as much or more… I am so grateful that I had a happy childhood without abuse… I feel so sad I am crying! I love my crying and shame… I am sooo sorry and I do not know why but I love me and the part of me that is sorry… and I feel so desperate. Thank you Rori for answering I was beginning to think that I am commenting too much or asking for too much help… I feel worried I will be addicted to this forum because it seems to lift me up so much and I check it constantly… I feel so embarassed… I feel sad and that is good… That means I am alive and I am SO glad to be alive… I feel sad… I feel worried that I may live my life through some terrible tragedy like a death camp or something and I feel scared that loving my feelings will not be enough in a situation like that… I am feeling better… It feels good to say all these things out loud… well write them down… my tears have slowed… I feel calm… and now I felt laughter… I am starting to feel happy! So strange… I love my happiness… I love my sadness… I love all of me… I want to believe that I will be all right… I feel afraid that I am going in circles… and that is ok I know Rori you said that it is a spiral… I want to love myself… I do love myself… I love myself even though I feel so angry that I cannot help my friends when I want to… I feel so angry that I cannot help myself… I feel so hopeless that I do not always feel appreciative of the good things I do for myself… I love my hopelessness… I feel confused loving my hopelessness but I want to love it… I want to love you hopelessness… Yes you! I see you in there… that feels like laughing… I miss u and love u hopelessness… I am here for you!!! I accept you and love you… that feels like smiling wide… it feels like calmness…

Thank you everyone I am going to take my much awaited salt bath right now…

]]> By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-523 Rori Raye Fri, 24 Oct 2008 03:11:48 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-523 Daria - your fear is making you want to control things and DO things. You HAVE to hold yourself back and FEEL the anxiety and panic that's underneath all this - and then you have to go out and flirt, and date, and find a NEW RHYTHM to your life. Go find some new music to dance to and some new men to chase YOU down. Love, Rori Daria – your fear is making you want to control things and DO things. You HAVE to hold yourself back and FEEL the anxiety and panic that’s underneath all this – and then you have to go out and flirt, and date, and find a NEW RHYTHM to your life. Go find some new music to dance to and some new men to chase YOU down.

Love, Rori

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-516 Daria Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:07:07 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-516 well i just texted my friend... my text said: hi...i feel kina uncomfortable texting u and i miss you and miss talking to you i am thinking of u and always wishing the best for u soooo... he immediately texted back: im fine how have u been? and i said: im feeling fine been feeling kinda bored and lonely I feel so glad to hear from you Yay u have been on my mind the past 3 days I feel like a dork right now lol to which he has not yet responded. I'm feeling relieved and now I want to contact more of my guy friends... I'm also feeling a little nervous that this feeling will turn into a bad one... Part of me feels rebellious... part of me misses talking a lot on the phone with them and sounding like each other making funny and cool comments and I used to feel so happy just hearing myself speak that way... now I speak with feeling messages only if at all and mostly have a lot of silences with men... which feels sexy and mysterious... I miss happy playful carefree me... I feel torn... help? well i just texted my friend…
my text said:

hi…i feel kina uncomfortable texting u and i miss you and miss talking to you i am thinking of u and always wishing the best for u

soooo… he immediately texted back:

im fine how have u been?

and i said:

im feeling fine been feeling kinda bored and lonely I feel so glad to hear from you Yay u have been on my mind the past 3 days I feel like a dork right now lol

to which he has not yet responded. I’m feeling relieved and now I want to contact more of my guy friends… I’m also feeling a little nervous that this feeling will turn into a bad one…

Part of me feels rebellious… part of me misses talking a lot on the phone with them and sounding like each other making funny and cool comments and I used to feel so happy just hearing myself speak that way… now I speak with feeling messages only if at all and mostly have a lot of silences with men… which feels sexy and mysterious…
I miss happy playful carefree me… I feel torn…

help?

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-514 Daria Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:23:27 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-514 alias girl it is ok... i didn't even consider that too personal at all... but im sure rori will come and erase it... sigh... i did do my experiment driving to see this guy and it turned out awful... i was feeling really tense with him at the time... now I feel more relaxed... I'm actually wanting to be friends with him... though I know he would want more... and I want to text him and even go (drive) hang out with him... even though it felt awful last time because our timing was off... so i guess i want to bump my head on the wall again... sigh... PS - thank you... i know it'r Rori's tools lol... but there are also the 4 rules... and part of them is not initiating contact... which is what i want to do alias girl it is ok… i didn’t even consider that too personal at all… but im sure rori will come and erase it…

sigh…

i did do my experiment driving to see this guy and it turned out awful… i was feeling really tense with him at the time… now I feel more relaxed… I’m actually wanting to be friends with him… though I know he would want more… and I want to text him and even go (drive) hang out with him…

even though it felt awful last time because our timing was off…

so i guess i want to bump my head on the wall again…

sigh…

PS – thank you… i know it’r Rori’s tools lol… but there are also the 4 rules… and part of them is not initiating contact… which is what i want to do

]]> By: Lin http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-513 Lin Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:39:49 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-513 alias girl , I understand how you feel. I have felt that many times...as if everyone will know who you are... by what you wrote... you are writing down your feelings so raw.. and real... me too.... however... your letter does not say enought about you for any one to know.. yes, your friends would.. if they know about this site... however I bet they do not know. so relax... I do feel you are safe.Keep up the good work in getting it all out and being in touch with your self. Lin alias girl ,
I understand how you feel. I have felt
that many times…as if everyone will know who
you are… by what you wrote… you are writing down your feelings so raw.. and real…
me too…. however… your letter does not say enought about you for any one to know..
yes, your friends would.. if they know about this site… however I bet they do not know.
so relax… I do feel you are safe.Keep up the good work in getting it all out and being in touch with your self.
Lin

]]> By: alias girl http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/how-to-glide-through-scary-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-511 alias girl Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:52:37 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=177#comment-511 thurs oct 23 12:51 pm. is not a post i mean to post. sometimes i will write just to purge and then decide not to send. but i post from my cellphone which comes with glitches and when i went to clear it, it wouldn't clear. (unlike when i wrote that big long post one night and i di mean to post it and instead it cleared it.) anyway so i kept back paging hoping that would clear it and it didn't so i literally went offline. i got back online and posted again. now both my posts are up there along with my plea to erase the first one. that's fine what can i do ? i can't control things that i can't control. but i feel unsafe. i regret typing personal information into a box for the world to see before i was sure i wanted to post it for the world. that's life. it won't kill me. but i feel unsafe. thurs oct 23 12:51 pm. is not a post i mean to post. sometimes i will write just to purge and then decide not to send. but i post from my cellphone which comes with glitches and when i went to clear it, it wouldn’t clear. (unlike when i wrote that big long post one night and i di mean to post it and instead it cleared it.) anyway so i kept back paging hoping that would clear it and it didn’t so i literally went offline. i got back online and posted again. now both my posts are up there along with my plea to erase the first one. that’s fine what can i do ? i can’t control things that i can’t control. but i feel unsafe. i regret typing personal information into a box for the world to see before i was sure i wanted to post it for the world. that’s life. it won’t kill me. but i feel unsafe.

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