Have you ever stayed hooked on a man, afraid to do anything that would rock the boat, even though the relationship is totally stuck?
We all have. And I don’t want you to do that anymore.
Here’s a letter from Jeanette to start the conversation:
“Dear Rori, I am in a long distance relationship and have been for 2 years. He says he is not ready to commit. I want that but he says it takes him a while. With his first 2 marriages, he said it took him 4 years each to make the decision. Well we are 55 and 57 years old. Come on!! I don’t think it should take this long…is he just stringing me along? Please help! Jeanette”
***Jeanette, here’s my short answer: Yes and No.
Yes, he’s stringing you along…and…
No, he’s not, because he doesn’t know he’s doing it. He thinks you’re OKAY with this. He thinks this is “dating.” He’s “expecting” to know what he wants to do about you…sometime.
In other words — it’s not his fault that you’re stuck like this — and so what we need to do is find your ANGER — and instead of turning it on HIM, use it to get you OUT of this stuck-in-the-mud situation and COMPEL him to step up and commit.
The problem here is in your interpretation of what he says and what’s going on.
What you need to do — right now — is
1. Circular Date. In fact…I would OFFICIALLY Circular Date by putting up an online profile, getting the word out to friends that you’re dating now, and going to events and classes that interest you so you can make new friends who will lead you to more men.
The exact how-tos of how to USE Circular Dating (even if you’re not technically “dating” right away) are in my Targeting Mr. Right program, and there are lots of free Tools around it on this blog…
The very fact that you would stay in a long-distance relationship this long with a man who has clearly told you he’s not ready to commit to you tells me that you’re terrified of real intimacy and a real relationship, so…
2. The work you need to do is to get yourself ready to get deeply involved with someone who doesn’t have such “issues.”
This would be my confidence-boosting Tools and Tools for getting strong on the outside and soft on the inside and becoming a MAGNET for men just because you’re so totally IN LOVE with YOURSELF — like in Modern Siren.
3. For now, just focus on my Tool of Feeling Messages – practice delivering them NON-STOP as a way to get more connected to your most important asset – your EMOTIONS, and learn how to express them in the most appealing and good-feeling way possible.
Most men are very lonely — especially at this age — and would LOVE to marry a woman who’s confident, financially stable and affectionate. Go find those men!
4. Get your focus OFF of this particular man. He may step up, he may not…either way — it’s YOU who must go forward.
And we’re all here to HELP you…