This means listening, not trying to control your anxiety by talking so much, actually tolerating anxiety until you get used to the feeling of connecting with someone, and speaking in feeling terms.
Talk about how you feel about things – the food, the restaurant, the weather, your job, your dog – rather than stating the facts – or your opinions about them.
Instead of saying this is a nice restaurant – say how it makes you feel to be there – how the lighting affects you, how that waiters affect you, how the food tastes.
It will let you see very quickly what kind of man is sitting in front of you.
Don’t become exclusively involved with anyone (aside from sexually – and even then, it’s up to you…) until you’re very comfortable that you have these important things:
His emotional, time and energy investment in you – meaning you see him several times a week, talk to him every day, and know (from him) that the road to a future together is laid out.
That way, you Circular Date to the last second.
If you’re down “the road” with someone, and are having a rough go of it – yet feel as though you’ve invested time, love and energy and want to see it thru – do the most important thing: Stay with your feelings.
The most important feeling to locate is to see how you feel about yourself when you’re in the presence of this other person…