I have been reading your blogs for years and I would like to tell you a little about myself because I would like your input and I think that it is a situation that many other women have been in or are currently in and can relate to.
I am 25 and have been in one of those “on again off again” relationships with the same man for over four years now, and it has just ended again. This is the first time I myself have ended it. He and I are living together and he expressed just recently that he was unsure about marriage and children with me and about his feelings for me.
I took your advice and immediately ended the exclusivity and started circular dating. So far, it just feels like I’m going through the motions with it though. I’m not interested in any of these men that I am seeing and the close proximity to my ex is making it too easy (for the both of us) to fall back into relationship-like habits.
It always feels like our relationship is actually the most enjoyable when we are broken up. We feel better connected to each other. I know this is because he doesn’t feel pressured and I am responding to his interest in me. All of a sudden, it’s like the beginning of our relationship again. en I remember we are broken up and feel nervous and start analyzing his actions towards me.
It still feels like my happiness depends on him and that’s exactly what I’m trying to stop. I don’t want that feeling anymore and I want a committed husband who wants children. In the beginning, that is what he wanted too.
The circular dating has helped my self esteem, but I am struggling with being independent of him. He’s stringing me along and that scares me, but it’s hard to let go when being with him feels so good. My feelings are conflicted. Please help. Alice”
Alice – basically – you’ll never feel like you’re doing much but “going through the motions” Circular Dating because you’re in this “living with” set up!
AND – Please keep DOING IT!!!
It’s the best situation. It’s the best way for you to figure out what you want. It’s the best way for you to learn how to speak honestly to a man, straight-forwardly. Tell the truth as YOU feel it.
Keeping him under your roof is a good move…
NOW you have to get your confidence up to an all-time high – AND – perhaps he’s actually not READY for marriage, family, etc…..but he might be later on?
Most women of 25 would NEVER consider getting married and having kids so young…!
So – look at what you truly want, when you want it…
CDing is not about meeting another man.
It’s about building skills and confidence.
Make that why you’re doing this – Free Therapy…