you know, i have been very strict on having the guys come to MY side of town, and have had trouble coming off “rigid” and feeling icky.

maybe i will be ok with meeting them halfway like you have… for the first meeting.

well it was sounding great at first until i started writing this…
hmm

love you! so glad you’re feeling good and i’m happy to see you posting!

For so many years, I would accept crumbs because I didn’t get that I really did deserve better and this evening is a perfect example of how self love and respect work. I told the man that I was meeting this evening that I was not going to drive to meet him. He could meet me half way but I was not going to his neck of the woods….period. I really didn’t care how he felt about that because a lady does not need to be driving to see a man that claims to be a gentleman. I figured that if he truly wanted to see me, then he could meet me half way or not see me at all. Not only did he meet me half way, HE Paid for dinner, HE opened my door – including the car door when he walked me back to my car after dinner and HE asked me if he could give me a hug before we parted ways and HE asked me if he could see me again this weekend. I did not initiate a single solitary thing. In the past, I would have felt that I had to carry the conversation, perhaps pay for dinner, that I would have had to bring up seeing him again in the future and all of that crap. I did none of that and I stood up for how I felt in the driving issue and he totally stepped up and even told me before he opened my car door that he didn’t think that he had ever truly met a lady before this evening. For the first time, I truly didn’t care what the outcome was or if I even saw him again or at all for that matter because it was about ME and MY OWN BOUNDARIES….and that feels amazing. I am not going back to how things were for so many years. This is a new year and a new set of boundaries that never existed until now….and yes….it is a completely transformed me and that feels beautiful in every way.

Tinque and TW, thank you so much for your support and for your love. I feel that you are both a gift to so many, myself included. I love you both.

Sending lots of hugs….
Cass

ps….TW….I am so glad that you are not contacting that guy. He is a creep and does not deserve to even be around you….now or ever. When he does return and I believe that he will, I look forward to you being able to tell him that YOU are no longer interested. I will celebrate that with you!! Love you girl!! XOXO

With regard to the ‘The One’ comments… they don’t bother me anymore because that has happened so many times now that I already have my comeback….. I usually say something like this….
‘gosh, It feels kind of weird to me for you to say those kinds of things to me when we don’t even know one another that well and have yet to meet in person. I feel sort of uncomfortable and would feel better if we could go slow and get to learn more about one another before even mentioning anything like that.’ Some of them get pissed and run for the hills which is fine with me and others stick around but stop that kind of language. When that first happened, I was indeed so shocked that I did dismiss the comment as though it had not been said but that didn’t feel good to me because he kept on saying those things so now I speak up and tell them how I feel. I refuse to step into that boy energy though when they say that kind of stuff and then they back the contact WAAAAY off. I am NOT going to chase them…period. It is like they shift the energy then so that I would be the one chasing them. Have you experienced this??

I am pretty proud of myself over something that transpired this morning and afternoon. I had a morning breakfast meeting with a man that I met online. He initially asked me to come to his office because he is self employed – keep in mind that so am I! – and he wanted me to come to his office which is not all that far away from where I love but still I was not going to do that. I told him that I felt really uncomfortable in going to his office as I don’t know him and have never met him and that is not something that I was ok doing. He then said that at least then he could stay in ‘productive mode’ to which I answered….’You know, I am also self employed and I am taking an hour or so out of my morning work routine to come and meet you for breakfast yet it feels as though you would prefer to continue working and that feels horrible. If you are willing to take that time out to meet me somewhere in the middle, then I am fine getting together however I am not coming to your office and I am not going to break up my workday to meet with you unless you are making that same sacrifice. What do you think?” That is pretty much verbatim what I said to him and boy o boy did he do a little dance around his own ignorance!! He stepped up and told me that no = he wanted me to be totally comfortable and that we could meet in the middle because he really wanted to meet me.
The other things that happened was similar. I am meeting another man that I met online this evening and he lives on the other side of town. He asked me to come to his side of town to meet for about 15 or 20 minutes! Can you believe the balls?? I was shocked. I told him pretty much the same thing. I told him when he called me this morning that I was willing to meet him half way however having never met him and given the fact that I don’t know him, I did not feel comfortable driving all the way across town like that and if that was an issue we could easily reschedule. He did the same thing! He danced around his own ignorance and is damn lucky I am meeting him at all! He called me back this afternoon asking me to do him a HUGE favor in driving over to his side of town for our meeting this evening – keep in mind that this was the 2nd time he had asked me this. This time I not only reminded him that I am a lady and I don’t feel comfortable driving across town to meet a man that I don’t know for the first time and that if he wanted to meet me half way then fine and if not we could cancel. He immediately told me that he totally respected the fact that I stood my ground and was ONLY willing to meet him half way and that he would call me with a location of a coffee shop where we could meet at about the halfway mark. I am so disillusioned by both these jokers that I really don’t even want to go this evening after guy #2 asked me not once but twice to come to him. NO FRIGGIN” WAY! I am not doing that again now or ever. I don’t even really want to meet him anymore. Anyway…I just wanted to share that as I felt that this was tremendous growth for me. In the past I would have likely gone to meet both of them. Not anymore. That is the past. I feel proud of my choices and for stikcing to them….likely for the first time in my life other than moving out of Charles’ house. YAY for me!!

Flipper…I am thrilled to know that you are dancing and singing!!

TW….I have missed you too girl!! I feel proud of you for deleting his number and email address and I would not call him or text him at all. Let that jackass go! You deserve better plus judging from my own experiences this far…..he will be back if you don’t contact him at all….not even a smoke signal! He will likely be back at some point. I feel proud of you!!

Love you Sirens!! XOXO
Cass

I am so glad to hear from you and hear that you are doing well. Anyway, that great guy that I met did that very thing you are talking about. He came on so strong and talked of our future and now he has basically disappeared. HE stopped answering my calls and my text. WHen I did talk to him he was talking to me as though he just met me yesterday. I am just as clueless as you are. I have deleted his number and his pics out of my phone. Part of me just wants to text him and say bye you know out of being the respectful and caring person that I am but the other part of me just wants to say FU for playing around with my feelings.