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	<title>Have The Relationship You Want</title>
	<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Relationship Advice From Rori Raye</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:37:13 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<language>en</language>
	
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		<title>Dancing With Your Boy and Girl Energy</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment from Linda - (I just love dancing with my girl and boy energies - I used to struggle, and now I find it fun to make these choices to fall into &#8220;being&#8221; &#8230;and this comment is a great jumping off place&#8230;) - Linda says:
&#8220;I struggle with my “boy energy”. I have a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/masculine-energy/dancing-with-your-boy-and-girl-energy/</link>
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		<title>How To Get a Picture of You - or Whatever You Like - on Your Comments</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Just a short note:  I wanted to let you all know how to put up a picture with your comment, like Alias Girl does&#8230;if you want, it can be anything - flowers, birds, or you!&#8230;just go to www.gravatar.com, it helps you crop it and everything.  Can&#8217;t wait to see what you come up with&#8230;Love, Rori
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		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/uncategorized/how-to-get-a-picture-of-you-or-whatever-you-like-on-your-comments/</link>
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		<title>Strategies DO NOT WORK With Men</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment from Alicia that I thought was important for us to work with&#8230;
&#8220;Rori, I just found your program and have not yet received your Modern Siren however I did read the Have the Relationship You Want Book. Anyway. I have been seeing a guy since July we were going along great and then [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/strategies-do-not-work-with-men/</link>
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		<title>Love and Blame</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Who&#8217;s wrong? Is it me, or is it you? I&#8217;ve been trying to figure it out all day. If it&#8217;s neither of us, then who is it?
I&#8217;m triggered. I triggered you. You triggered me. We&#8217;re both upset. Someone&#8217;s insensitive. Someone stepped wrong. Someone did something! Whose fault is it? No one? How can I be [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/love-and-blame/</link>
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		<title>Dating a Man Who&#8217;s Tormented By His Culture and Family</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a question from Alice - very unique, and yet I know many of you are dealing with it, or know more about it than I.  Please help out if you can&#8230;
&#8220;Dear Rori, I have listened to your work and read items on your website and what you say seems to make some sense [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/dating-a-man-whos-tormented-by-his-culture-and-family/</link>
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		<title>Love and Memory</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hormones are intuitive. Even when they&#8217;re nicely balanced, it&#8217;s as though they speak from inside – tingling, sparking, soothing, spreading calm or unease. I can&#8217;t remember my thoughts from an hour ago, but I can remember everything I felt in the last forty years. It all comes back, like high-speed footage suddenly set free from [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/feminine-energy/love-and-memory/</link>
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		<title>Contacting Men Online</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment I thought was really universal, and I wanted to jump off from it:
&#8220;Rori, I can tell you that on the dating site, it seems to work differently. I would like Rori’s opinion, but here is my take on dating sites: It is OK to contact a man online first–I am of the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/contacting-men-online/</link>
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		<title>A Note From My Husband - Forget The Story, Just Tell The Truth</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Okay, This is when my daughter was little, and my husband looked like Hugh Grant (he still does&#8230;the more current one is a little down the page here&#8230;)
I&#8217;ve been going back and forth whether or not to share him with you, but decided what he has to offer is more important than any privacy [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/a-note-from-my-husband-forget-the-story-just-tell-the-truth/</link>
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		<title>Love Dilemma - How To Stay Fresh When You&#8217;re Getting Great Results</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Wanted to print this comment by Terry with my short answer&#8230;and then jump into a post all about this  (Terry is answering Shannon&#8217;s response to another comment&#8230;you can read the whole exchange here-&#62;):
&#8220;Wow, thanks Rori! I feel tears streaming down my face after reading your answer. Your support is just the confidence booster I needed. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/love-dilemma-how-to-stay-fresh-when-youre-getting-great-results/</link>
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		<title>Horrible, Bad Toxic Man - Why Do You Love Him and What To Do Now</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment from Renee I jumped right off of, because I felt so strongly I&#8217;m about as forceful as I&#8217;m ever going to get.  This is total tough love, totally hard to hear if you&#8217;re Renee, so Renee - please don&#8217;t read it if you don&#8217;t want to hear it this brutally&#8230;and let&#8217;s all [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/horrible-bad-toxic-man-why-do-you-love-him-and-what-to-do-now/</link>
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		<title>From His - I&#8217;m Not Ready - to a Marriage Proposal</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a great letter from Marjorie, a success story that shows you how all this can work for you:
&#8220;Dear Rori, I loved the picture you paint of all your thoughts and feelings on the day your husband disappointed you a long time ago, and how it all worked out for you.  I remember having [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/commitment/from-his-im-not-ready-to-a-marriage-proposal/</link>
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		<title>What To Do When an Old Love Calls</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a question from Mary, and I don&#8217;t know anyone who hasn&#8217;t been contacted by an old love who&#8217;s now &#8220;suddenly free.&#8221;  It&#8217;s hard to know what to do&#8230;you want to give it a chance, and yet you want to protect yourself.  Mary works through this just brilliantly, and I&#8217;ll help, too:

&#8220;Rori, Hello. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/difficult-situations/what-to-do-when-an-old-love-calls/</link>
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		<title>He&#8217;s Not My Business</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Halloween has always been one of my favorite - perhaps my actual favorite - holidays.  I just find it such a combination of fun, scary, pretend, meaningful, going outside your comfort zone, parties that don&#8217;t have family significance, neighborhood, childhood, being a mom with a flashlight, candy I can&#8217;t eat but can collect and touch, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/hes-not-my-business/</link>
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		<title>Relationship Tool of the Week - Bring Him Close With Your Inner Drama Queen</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you sometimes feel like your man has all the Power in your relationship, and you feel almost desperate to get your strong sense of yourself back, I learned something very valuable (the hard way) this weekend that I know will help you, too.
If you&#8217;re at all like me, you value being &#8220;nice,&#8221; being &#8220;liked,&#8221; [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/relationship-tool-of-the-week-bring-him-close-with-your-inner-drama-queen/</link>
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		<title>You&#8217;re Circular Dating But He Pulls Away - What To Do</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a letter I got from Jennifer…a very universal situation if you&#8217;ve ever been in the business of attracting and being attracted to unavailable, perhaps even Toxic men:
&#8220;Rori&#8230;I have been listening to you for about a year. My name is Jennifer&#8230;.I am a 35 year old single woman who has had 3 long term toxic [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/youre-circular-dating-but-he-pulls-away-what-to-do/</link>
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		<title>Love and Mistakes</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I mess-up all the time. Sometimes it&#8217;s just not leaving enough time to do something, or faulty prioritizing, or forgetting something at the market. Sometimes I actually hurt someone&#8217;s feelings. Sometimes I&#8217;m oblivious to what&#8217;s going on, and sometimes I just put my foot in it.
So what&#8217;s the message when my foot&#8217;s in my mouth?
I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/love-and-mistakes/</link>
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		<title>Why Aren&#8217;t You Circular Dating</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay&#8230;just got this from a member of my Customer Service team, Jolene,  who helps us all by sorting through all my emails before forwarding them to me&#8230;and it was like getting hit with a light bulb&#8230;
&#8220;Rori, Have you ever posed a question to your bloggers about why they don’t do Circular Dating and continue to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/why-arent-you-circular-dating/</link>
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		<title>Befriending And Helping A Man Will Get You Gratitude &#8212; But Not Love</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a quick question-and-answer:
&#8220;Rori, I have read your &#8220;Have the Relationship You Want&#8221; book and it is ingrained in my thoughts when evaluating what to do to resolve issues with my relationship, however, I need help with this one&#8230;
I have a man who has some emotional issues that he&#8217;s told me and is having a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/befriending-and-helping-a-man-will-get-you-gratitude-but-not-love/</link>
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		<title>Listening and Love</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m not listening. I’m acting like I am, I’m standing here. But my daughter’s face may as well be on a movie screen. It flickers in front of me.
There’s food on the stove. There’s a half-written article on the computer. My vitamins are waving to me from the kitchen counter. I’m all over the place. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/listening-and-love/</link>
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		<title>From Heartbreak To a Fabulous Date - How Free Therapy Works</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a quick post that will take you through the process of Circular Dating when you&#8217;re actually still seeing a man you love, feeling heartbreak, and where &#8220;dating&#8221; is the last thing you feel like doing.   Ellen is going about this step by step, and making some mistakes I correct so you don&#8217;t [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/from-heartbreak-to-a-fabulous-date-how-free-therapy-works/</link>
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		<title>Ask And It Is Given</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Laughing Goddess wrote us a comment here that brought up one of my favorite books, Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. And without going too deep into it&#8230;it focuses on the idea of &#8220;raising your vibration&#8221; &#8212; which has sung to several of my clients and healed their entire lives.
One of [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/</link>
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		<title>Out of My Head and Into My Heart</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I`m a workaholic. I have to admit it. I`m a doing-stuff junkie. I`m a do-it-yourselfer with a to-do list that would intimidate most CEO`s, and the will to barrel through it. I wake up excited to see my computer. Day after day.
So how does this fit with my idea of life balance? Left to my [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/feminine-energy/out-of-my-head-and-into-my-heart/</link>
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		<title>Switching Hats From Girl to Boy and Back Again</title>
		<description><![CDATA[So&#8230;Being is feminine, Doing is masculine.
Feeling is feminine, Thinking is masculine.
Expressing is feminine, Telling is masculine
Receiving is feminine, Giving is masculine
Listening is feminine, Teaching is masculine
That makes me pretty much a boy here, with feminine flights as I write.
Much of Coaching is masculine because much of teaching and coaching involves a transfer of knowledge. Involves [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/switching-hats-from-girl-to-boy-and-back-again/</link>
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		<title>Another Note From The Universe</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I love this guy.  I get these every day from Tut.com. He&#8217;s Tom Dooley (of The Secret&#8230;yes&#8230;), but I think of these as from The Universe&#8230;
I can assure you, Rori, that the time will come when you, too, will ask, &#8220;In what fields did I sow seeds to deserve so very, very much?&#8221; 
Then [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/another-note-from-the-universe/</link>
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		<title>Classic Results - You Lean Back and He Leans Forward - You Go Away and He Comes to YOU</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment I wanted everyone to read:
&#8220;I kind of got blown away today and I don’t know how to take it and I am wondering if I am reading more into this than what it actually means.
Since reading this blog here I have started to lean back - way back, and now I also [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/classic-results-you-lean-back-and-he-leans-forward-you-go-away-and-he-comes-to-you/</link>
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		<title>Beautiful Quotes For Love And Pain</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I read science fiction. I read science fiction, fantasy romance. It&#8217;s my favorite way to find inspiration. I also pretty much only read female authors &#8212; (Though I do read Orson Scott Card, having adored his Ender series for those of you who are a bit geeky like me&#8230;.and Asimov&#8230;)
The series of four I&#8217;ve just [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/beautiful-quotes-for-love-and-pain/</link>
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		<title>Get More Love By Doing Less</title>
		<description><![CDATA[So I&#8217;m sick. A cold. Bad, obnoxious, noisy, icky cough. Not a big deal. We women blow through these things. But I ache, and I want to lay down. Puts me at a romantic disadvantage, I think. Don&#8217;t look great. Feel sloggy, so I must look sloggy to my husband.
All of a sudden, he looks [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/marriage/get-more-love-by-doing-less/</link>
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		<title>Healing Hearts By the Holidays</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I asked my friend Lisa Steadman, who&#8217;s an expert on breakup recovery, to write a post for us, and here it is:
Lately, I’ve become singularly focused. I want to help as many women as possible heal their hearts by the upcoming holiday season.
Why is this so important to me?
Because I know how energy-depleting life can [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/breakup-divorce/healing-hearts-by-the-holidays/</link>
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		<title>A Note From The Universe About Anger and Resentment</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I just got this in my mailbox (I love these Notes From the Universe - you can get yours at www.Tut.com).
Resentment, anger, and impatience, Rori, all have their place. Actually, they&#8217;re absolutely priceless, revealing to those who feel them that there are still a few pieces of life&#8217;s puzzle they&#8217;ve overlooked.
 Tallyho,
The Universe
Rori, they&#8217;re gifts, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/a-note-from-the-universe-about-anger-and-resentment/</link>
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		<title>Love and Messengers &#8212; Part II</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been holding onto something for weeks. I don&#8217;t want to broach the subject, don&#8217;t want to get started. I&#8217;ve given up Mother&#8217;s Day to the mothers who&#8217;ve come before me, I&#8217;ve given up evenings of reading to work, and I&#8217;ve given up some dreams I&#8217;d forgotten for the real of everyday.
I&#8217;m not even sure [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/love-and-messengers-part-ii/</link>
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		<title>Love and Messengers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When the weather gets hot, I wilt. Too much to do, too little time. Too little energy even if I had the time.
And then, sometimes, who wants to? Can`t sort priorities, because everything is in the &#8220;important&#8221; and &#8220;urgent&#8221; columns on my to do list. There are even new entries, scrawled between the lines, with [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/love-and-messengers/</link>
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		<title>Self-Acceptance Is the Key to Feeling Loved</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is an article by Matthew Walter and Orna Banarie, who have a fantastic story of how they found each other (the wedding is just about to happen&#8230;).  Matthew is a terrific hypnotherapist, and Orna does life and relationship coaching using hand analysis (I personally had a great reading by her) &#8212; and now, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/self-acceptance-is-the-key-to-feeling-loved/</link>
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		<title>Intimacy &#8212; Afraid? How To Start Doing It Anyway -</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s possible that most of us have never known true intimacy from the moment we came into the world.
We&#8217;ve been labelled, taught, cajoled and prodded, been threatened by all forms of authority, told what&#8217;s true and what isn&#8217;t, and disrespected for everything from our feelings to our thoughts. Our relationships have been more about pleasing [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/intimacy-afraid-how-to-start-doing-it-anyway/</link>
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		<title>Unwinding Compensatory Torque For Your Love Life</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember the conversation we had about &#8220;compensatory torque&#8221;? I&#8217;d love to get back to it.
As I unwind the compensatory torque of my body I can also feel an unwinding of the emotions that are bound up in the tension I&#8217;ve been holding in those places all these years.
As I do a new physical process that [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/unwinding-compensatory-torque-for-your-love-life/</link>
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		<title>If He&#8217;s In An Emotional Relationship With Another Woman &#8212; Do This</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever felt so helpless over a &#8220;friendship&#8221; your man has with a woman that you can&#8217;t control your jealousy?  Where the urge to STOP him is so strong it&#8217;s all you can think about?
Christine is in this situation, and she left a question for me as a comment &#8212; I thought it [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/if-hes-in-an-emotional-relationship-with-another-woman-do-this/</link>
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		<title>Quick Tool To Soften Yourself Up</title>
		<description><![CDATA[What if you could say what you feel to a man without getting nervous, anxious, and all tied up in knots?
And what if he could hear your feelings without shutting off and ignoring you or belittling you?
You can and he can, and it all starts with knowing WHAT YOU feel.
Try this simple Tool: ROLL YOUR [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/quick-tool-to-soften-yourself-up/</link>
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		<title>New Questions And Stories From You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi, I&#8217;ve closed an older post for relationship questions because it&#8217;s hard for you to read with so many on the screen.  So here&#8217;s a new one!
Please know&#8230;if I don&#8217;t answer you right away&#8230;it likely slipped by me (if so, try again, please&#8230;), or I&#8217;m trying to put it together into an eletter or a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/your-story-questions-for-rori/new-questions-and-stories-from-you/</link>
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		<title>Sexy Warrior Woman You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Justin/Fernando just left a great comment in which he said how men find &#8220;Warrior&#8221; women sexy. How men actually love being &#8220;called&#8221; on their &#8220;bs&#8221; because then they know that what a woman wants is who they really are and not who they might like to pretend to be.
So what exactly is a Warrior woman?
Does [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/sexy-warrior-woman-you/</link>
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		<title>After 17 Years - He&#8217;s Left, He&#8217;s Fooling Around, and He&#8217;s Put YOU on Trial</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I love letters with what you and I might call &#8220;extreme&#8221; situations &#8212; where we all gasp and swear we&#8217;d never let that happen to us &#8212; but we KNOW, deep down, that it COULD happen to us, that we have, and may still be, tolerating things we don&#8217;t like and playing &#8220;small&#8221; when we [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/marriage/after-17-years-hes-left-hes-fooling-around-and-hes-put-you-on-trial/</link>
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		<title>Why Anger Is The Key To Love</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If there&#8217;s distance between you, there&#8217;s anger.
If you&#8217;re being &#8220;extra nice&#8230;&#8221; you&#8217;re angry.
If you&#8217;re giving more than you&#8217;re getting&#8230;you&#8217;re angry.
There are two parts to this puzzle:
1. Whether or not you can touch your anger and how you feel when you do, and&#8230;
2. What you do with what you feel.
Let&#8217;s say you can&#8217;t figure out why [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/why-anger-is-the-key-to-lovefking-him-wrong/</link>
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		<title>Trying To Get Away From Pain By Heaping On MORE Pain - How To End The Cycle</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;ve ever wondered why you&#8217;re finding yourself anywhere you don&#8217;t want to be&#8230;let&#8217;s talk about it.
Why do we cause ourselves so much pain?
There is a reason we&#8217;re attracted to and attract men who are not good for us &#8212; from simply &#8220;not into us&#8221; or &#8220;just not right for us,&#8221; all the way to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/trying-to-get-away-from-pain-by-heaping-on-more-pain-how-to-end-the-cycle/</link>
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		<title>How to Expose the Sexy Beast Within</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a guest post by Justin  &#8220;Fernando&#8221; Carnahan &#8230;he posts on this blog as &#8220;Fernando&#8221; and you can find him on his own blog here (yes - the picture is him&#8230;)
http://blog.theessentialsofattraction.com
&#8230;I really like to highlight contributions here by men - so we can see 2 things:
1. Get a view from a man&#8217;s perspective, to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/how-to-expose-the-sexy-beast-within/</link>
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		<title>Instructions for Speechmaking When He&#8217;s Stalled and &#8220;Not Ready&#8221; to Commit to You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi - Nancy wrote a great comment laying out her situation with a man who&#8217;s been &#8220;not ready&#8221; for marriage for over a year &#8212; and I wanted to make sure you got my answer, so I&#8217;m going to reprint the whole question here and answer it&#8230;
&#8220;Hello Sirens,
Help me tweak my power speech! My guy [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/instructions-for-speechmaking-when-hes-stalled-and-not-ready-to-commit-to-you/</link>
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		<title>Rescuing A Marriage Right At The Edge Of Disaster</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This fabulous article is really getting around&#8230;by Laura A. Munson,  a woman who prevented a threatened divorce that seemed to come out of nowhere&#8230;if you haven&#8217;t read it yet&#8230;read it now and we&#8217;ll talk about it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html
What this woman did worked.  Here are some thoughts on why it worked:
1.  It&#8217;s much easier to repair damage while [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/rescuing-a-marriage-right-at-the-edge-of-disaster/</link>
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		<title>Is He Stringing You Along?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever stayed hooked on a man, afraid to do anything that would rock the boat, even though the relationship is totally stuck?
We all have.  And I don&#8217;t want you to do that anymore.
Here&#8217;s a letter from Jeanette to start the conversation:
&#8220;Dear Rori, I am in a long distance relationship and have been for [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/is-he-stringing-you-along/</link>
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		<title>Twisted Dark Forces, True Connection and Considering Love</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s my answer to a lovely comment by Terrance (there&#8217;s a whole series of his comments, so find them all&#8230;)  about his relationship with a woman he dates &#8212; who he spends more time with than any other woman, and who he hopes will &#8220;develop&#8221; to her &#8220;full potential&#8221; and be a fantastic partner [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/twisted-dark-forces-true-connection-and-considering-love/</link>
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		<title>Creating Speeches To Express Your Feelings And State Your Boundaries</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi, I thought I&#8217;d open up a new Category so that we could all share &#8220;speeches&#8221; you may have used that worked well, or that you&#8217;d like to try, or that you need help thinking up.
Just post them here, and we&#8217;ll all tweak and experiment.  It would help tremendously if you let us know [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/speeches-for-communicating-with-a-man/creating-speeches-to-express-your-feelings-and-state-your-boundaries/</link>
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		<title>How to &#8220;Approach&#8221; A Man Without Leaning Forward Or Investing In Him</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s the guest post I promised you from one of the men on this blog, Terrence Thames. I asked him to talk about ways to &#8220;approach&#8221; a shy man without &#8220;Leaning Forward&#8221; or feeling bad because you&#8217;re investing in him so quickly.  He writes:
This should be interesting since I am usually coaching guys on how [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/how-to-approach-a-man-without-leaning-forward-or-investing-in-him/</link>
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		<title>Compensatory Torque - Rehab For Your Mind, Body &amp; Soul</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
This month has been all about my body. It&#8217;s been rehab for my body, and all along I&#8217;ve been totally aware that it&#8217;s rehab for my mind, heart, spirit and soul, too.
Body wise, I may have looked strong, I may have acted strong, I may have been able to walk and stretch and dance, but [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/compensatory-torque-rehab-for-your-mind-body-soul/</link>
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		<title>Approaching Men And Pretending &#8212; Does It Work?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Should you approach a man if you know you&#8217;ll never see him again if you don&#8217;t?
Here&#8217;s a letter from Ingrid to start the discussion:
&#8220;Hi Rori,
I’ve recently met a man (while involved with an activity with a group of others). He’s a genuinely nice guy, friendly with everyone, and I’m drawn to him quite strongly. He [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/approaching-men-and-pretending-does-it-work/</link>
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		<title>Dating and Money</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Money is tight - so who pays for a date?
He does.
Yes, sounds unfair, sounds anti-feminist, and yet - this is the difference between &#8220;friends hanging out together&#8221; and a &#8220;date.&#8221;
A date is about romance.  It&#8217;s not about companionship or friendship.  And it&#8217;s not just about sex.  It&#8217;s about the whole package, it&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/dating-and-money/</link>
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		<title>It Doesn&#8217;t Matter Who&#8217;s Stuff It Is &#8212; It Only Matters How You Feel &#8220;Here&#8221;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh my, so much uproar, so many fabulous ideas, so much sharing, thank you so much and I&#8217;m going to start a new subject here&#8230;
This is all about taking responsibility for yourself. When to take charge and when to let go. When to fight on and when to give up and give in. When to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/it-doesnt-matter-whos-stuff-it-is-it-only-matters-how-you-feel-here/</link>
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		<title>Equality, Entitlement, Conscious Creation and the Mystery of Love</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I wrote Jason, a man who&#8217;s been posting here, and got this interesting reply:
&#8220;Rori,
Great to get your encouraging email. I am still here. I love your comments, provocative posts, and overall attitude.
If you want a ripe topic &#8212; and maybe you&#8217;ve already touched on this &#8211; I&#8217;d like to know your thoughts on equality and entitlement [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/equality-entitlement-conscious-creation-and-the-mystery-of-love/</link>
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		<title>The Better To Express Ourselves</title>
		<description><![CDATA[So here I am, standing on a stage in a small theater, with 20 people and the teacher in light in front of me and the lovely man in the chair opposite me playing the man in the scene for me (even though I&#8217;m doing a monologue, he is joining me on the stage to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/the-better-to-express-ourselves/</link>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t Let Go, Don&#8217;t Resolve, Forget Closure and Stay On Your Horse</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How can you move forward in your life without &#8220;letting go&#8221; of him?  And still &#8220;dump him&#8221; and &#8220;stop contact&#8221;?
This is a jump off of the last post, inspired by the comments.  Here are two that sparked me:
Erika said:
“…sometimes if I ignore a guy, I actually end up thinking about him MORE. It feels [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/marriage/dont-let-go-dont-resolve-forget-closure-and-stay-on-your-horse/</link>
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		<title>How To Bring Something Up Without Leaning Forward - DON&#8217;T Bring It Up</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a letter from J - and I had very strong feelings when I read it, because I know J&#8217;s history with this man.  And also - most truthfully - because this is exactly the way I was, this is exactly the kind of question I would have asked of Rori Raye long ago, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/how-to-bring-something-up-without-leaning-forward-dont-bring-it-up/</link>
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		<title>A Helpful Interview</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I did an interview for BraveHeartWomen.com that&#8217;s showing today&#8212;it might be helpful to you. It&#8217;s a community of women, kind of cool&#8230;I did it because Mariel Hemingway is on the interviewing panel, and I loved her movie &#8220;Personal Best&#8221; - and of course &#8220;Manhattan&#8221; - so it was a thrill for me to meet her.  [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/uncategorized/a-helpful-interview/</link>
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		<title>Soft Feelings</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi - just a very quick post to thank you all - to say how absolutely lovely the energy is on here.  Can you feel it?
Everything&#8217;s soft and deep - and it&#8217;s so relaxing to read through the comments - it&#8217;s like every comment of yours is a gem - so helpful - peaceful, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/feminine-energy/soft-feelings/</link>
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		<title>How To Keep Your Power When You&#8217;re WITH Him</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;re feeling confused about how &#8220;much&#8221; to do in your relationship with your man - so that you are warm and loving without OverGiving - Here&#8217;s an exchange with one of my clients, Diana, that will be very helpful.
&#8220;Hi Rori,
I have not been able to find a nice place to live so I asked [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/how-to-keep-your-power-when-youre-with-him/</link>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t Get Hung Up On Him - Even If You&#8217;ve Slept With Him</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s the age-old problem - where does sex fit in the scheme of  &#8220;relationship&#8221;?  Especially at the very beginning? A comment from - I&#8217;ll call her &#8220;Gina&#8221; stated this issue so well, with a lot for me to talk about:
&#8220;Rori, I&#8217;ve recently met a man that I feel has much potential to be a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/dont-get-hung-up-on-him-even-if-youve-slept-with-him/</link>
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		<title>How To Accept A Gift - Even If You Think It&#8217;s Too Big</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a great question from Mercedes - and Mercedes has true confidence, is strong, independent, feisty, and a true goddess - and still, just like all of us, she has places where there&#8217;s still more to learn, more to receive, more to&#8230;.. (I&#8217;m just printing the entire conversation - even though you can see it [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/how-to-accept-a-gift-even-if-you-think-its-too-big/</link>
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		<title>YOU Can Date Other Men, But He CAN&#8217;T Date Other Women - Is That Fair?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay - so just because YOU want to date other men - does HE get to date other women?  NO!!!
Here&#8217;s a letter from Victoria that started this post:
&#8220;Rori, I was thinking about your Circular Dating and turned it around. Would you be able to date a man you were very interested in (hoping to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/you-can-date-other-men-but-he-cant-date-other-women-is-that-fair/</link>
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		<title>Unearth The Anger And Bring On The Intimacy</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a situation - a VERY common situation, where a man is consistently defensive and on the attack in order to feel okay with himself. The cure is in my Toxic Men program, and I&#8217;ll touch on it here.
It&#8217;s about unearthing the anger in you, in him, in the relationship - and getting it out [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/unearth-the-anger-and-bring-on-the-intimacy/</link>
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		<title>Instantly Change a Bad Moment into an Intimate Moment</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever been somewhere with your man, with your friends around, too, and had your man make a comment &#8212; like he usually does &#8212; that&#8217;s both rude, hurtful, and infuriating all at the same time?
Where you feel absolutely stuck, completely rigid and paralyzed, and have no idea what to do to fix the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/instantly-change-a-bad-moment-into-an-intimate-moment/</link>
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		<title>How To Be Irresistible to Men, by Taking Exquisite Care of Yourself</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you get my CD Interview Series - you heard the wonderful Rose Cole talking with me about how to pretty much change your life - especially your love life - by balancing the hormones in your body (and she told us exactly how to do that in a mesmerizing way) and I got more [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/how-to-be-irresistible-to-men-by-taking-exquisite-care-of-yourself/</link>
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		<title>Stuck With A Confused Man And Nowhere To Live</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever been this close to total humiliation with a man?  Where you just take your own commitment to him, and your own sense of being a good woman to the point where you&#8217;re almost embarrassed for yourself?
Well, I know I have, and most of the women I know and have worked with [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/stuck-with-a-confused-man-and-nowhere-to-live/</link>
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		<title>What To Do When A Man Opens Up Emotionally With Feelings</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a question from Ebony (my comment started here-&#62;):
&#8220;How do you respond to a man when he shares his feelings and vulnerability? Yesterday I got a text from my guy saying that he was sad and that he wishes that he could win the lottery so that we could start having kids. I was obviously [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/what-to-do-when-a-man-opens-up-emotionally-with-feelings/</link>
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		<title>Nights In Rodanthe - A Man Must Make You MORE - Not Less</title>
		<description><![CDATA[You know I love movies - and my husband was away this week, and so I got to wallow in chick-flicks and tear-jerkers, and here&#8217;s one gem I picked up from Nights In Rodanthe (way too sad for my taste, but very good for tears) - I can&#8217;t remember the exact words our heroine said, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/nights-in-rodanthe-a-man-must-make-you-more-not-less/</link>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t Walk On Eggshells</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a situation close to my heart that I haven&#8217;t really talked about much before&#8230;this letter states the problem exactly, and I&#8217;d love to get a dialogue going around it&#8230;
&#8220;Hi Rori,
I am 27 years old, I been with my high school sweetheart for almost ten years. We have been engaged for about ten years except [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/dont-walk-on-eggshells/</link>
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		<title>Let Him Take The Lead- And Have The Strength To Follow</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a guest post from Erin Ginkel - she sent me this out of the blue, and I thought it was so terrific, I wanted you to see it&#8230;I&#8217;ve since got in touch with her - and she really is terrific.  She&#8217;s a life and relationship coach and you can find her here: [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/vulnerability/let-him-take-the-lead-and-have-the-strength-to-follow/</link>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t Be Friends</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a jump off from a question from Robin -
&#8220;My pattern seems to be getting put in the ‘friends’ category. When I was a teenager, I thought this was the way to go, because I always heard from people that you want to “marry your best friend.” Or that you have a better chance [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/dont-be-friends/</link>
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		<title>Use Your Gluts Instead Of Your Quads To Get Your Man</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Your quads are in the front of your thighs, and your gluts are in your butt. They actually ARE your butt.
So how can the way you use those muscles possibly make any difference in your love-life?
Because when you walk around every day mostly using your quads to hold you up and move you, you are [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/use-your-gluts-instead-of-your-quads-to-get-your-man/</link>
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		<title>Circular Dating Even When You&#8217;re Exclusive</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;ve become &#8220;exclusive&#8221; with a man before the ring is on your finger and the wedding date is set - how do you handle the ups and downs and insecurities and weirdnesses that come up - the very things that my Circular Dating tools are meant to help you avoid?
There&#8217;s a firm line between [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/circular-dating-even-when-youre-exclusive/</link>
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		<title>From Then To NOW</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When I was younger, I was a singer-songwriter.
I used to sing in coffee houses and at college events all around UCLA, and at &#8220;open mic&#8221; nights.  After that, I was lucky enough to become a professional and make a living in bands, singing groups and trying to break out on my own - like American [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/vulnerability/from-then-to-now/</link>
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		<title>Circular Dating After 2 1/2 Years</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a letter from Laura, who&#8217;s got a horrible and lovely problem, all at the same time:
&#8220;Dear Rori -
I have the ebook, Reconnect, and am listening to Modern Siren now. I have learned so much from you.
&#8220;Here is my situation - I have a wonderful boyfriend, we&#8217;ve been together 2-1/2 years. He is very committed [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/circular-dating-after-2-12-years/</link>
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		<title>He Doesn&#8217;t Want You To Date Other Men - But He&#8217;s Living Day To Day&#8230;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Katie left a comment here that I thought would be helpful - the man who want&#8217;s you all to himself but is offering only &#8220;boyfriend/girlfriend&#8221; right now:
&#8220;Rori, Thanks so much for this blog and your tools! I am currently involved with a man (six months into the relationship) and he has asked for sexual exclusivity [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/he-doesnt-want-you-to-date-other-men-but-hes-living-day-to-day/</link>
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		<title>More About Friends With Benefits and Strong Surrender</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, wow - my Friends with Benefits post got some strong reactions&#8230;let&#8217;s go further..
Here&#8217;s the original post:
Here&#8217;s the comment from Priscilla:
&#8220;I&#8217;m a little lost on the strong reaction from Rori. I totally understand the “booty call” thing. But what exactly did the guy do except withdraw and maybe become insensitive to her feelings? It sounds [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/more-about-friends-with-benefits-and-strong-surrender/</link>
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		<title>Reviving a Dead Relationship</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We&#8217;ve been talking so much about dating - I wanted to talk about what happens in a long-term relationship, a marriage - when the connection gets so damaged it dies.  Here&#8217;s a letter from Jane:
&#8220;Rori, My marriage is dead. I am sad to say I don&#8217;t even know if I want to try and revive [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/marriage/reviving-a-dead-relationship/</link>
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		<title>Twilight and Transparency</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We&#8217;ve talked about Bella as heroine and hero and surrendered girl - and now I want to go into another HUGE part of the book and movie - and that&#8217;s the openness and transparency of the relationship.
One of the qualities that makes this such a yummy fantasy is that our hero, Edward, continually asks Bella [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/twilight-and-transparency/</link>
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		<title>Are You His Woman Or A Delivery Girl</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When was the last time you felt completely at ease with your man?
Where you felt totally secure in the knowledge that he loves you, totally sure he appreciates you, and feeling that cozy warmth inside because all your needs for love and  romance are being met by him?
Or does that seem like a dream?  A [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-his-woman-or-a-delivery-girl/</link>
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		<title>Support For Targeting Mr. Right</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you have my new program about Circular Dating  - &#8220;Targeting Mr. Right&#8221; - I want you to have extra support for staying with the nuts &#38; bolts of the program.  If you&#8217;re finding yourself stuck in any one place, needing a push to keep going - post your comments here, and I&#8217;ll help as [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/targeting-mr-right/support-for-targeting-mr-right/</link>
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		<title>What To Do In The Face Of NO</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A bunch of comments here centered around what to do in this situation:
A man cancels on you.
Could be:
He hasn&#8217;t called even though he said he would or you hoped he would, or he makes a date and then doesn&#8217;t call to confirm or show up, or he cancels a Saturday night date, or you&#8217;ve been [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/what-to-do-in-the-face-of-no/</link>
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		<title>Friend Or Foe - Letter From Lisa</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s an &#8220;other woman&#8221; scenario that I know so many of us have been through:
&#8220;I am having an issue with my fiance regarding his friends. They are a couple but I don&#8217;t have the warmest relationship with the female friend of the couple, although I get along quite well with the rest of his friends [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/friend-or-foe-letter-from-lisa/</link>
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		<title>Twilight the Book&#8217;s Bella and Twilight the Movie&#8217;s Bella</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I just watched the movie of Twilight (I loved it - I&#8217;m such a romantic, such a pushover) - and our heroine, Bella, is a different person than the Bella from the book.
She&#8217;s evolved, stronger, more receptive.
And the difference in the two ways of seeing this character can be a huge help to us, here.
In [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/twilight-the-books-bella-and-twilight-the-movies-bella/</link>
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		<title>What To Do If He Doesn&#8217;t Want To Have Sex With You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment from &#8220;InLove&#8221;, who&#8217;s suffering at 20 with a problem most of us have experienced at some time or other, in response to  my post about reviving sex&#8230;
&#8220;Hi, I just want to ask about a similar situation. I’m only 20. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/what-to-do-if-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-you/</link>
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		<title>Friends With Benefits Stinks</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment from Regina -  it&#8217;s so powerful, I felt so passionate about my answer because it&#8217;s so at the core of all women&#8217;s problems in love that I&#8217;m reprinting it whole and then letting fly:
&#8220;Rori, Please HELP. I am so lost and feel so alone. I have been dating Robert for 4 [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/friends-with-benefits-stinks/</link>
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		<title>The Biggest Trigger - Sex</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment from Jami about sex and going numb around it - and it&#8217;s such a terrific and universal topic - I wanted to jump off.  Here&#8217;s Jami&#8217;s comment:
&#8220;I am practicing circular dating and am doing quite well. My triggers are becoming fewer, I am attracting great men, and many tell me I’m incredibly [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/the-biggest-trigger-sex/</link>
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		<title>Twilight and Making Your Greatest Romantic Fantasy Come True</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m almost at the end of the book, and then I&#8217;ll quickly pick up the sequel. Twilight is for &#8220;girls&#8221; - the heroine is a teenager - and yet, for me,  it&#8217;s a timeless study of what we women are all about.
Bella, the heroine, has a soulmate kind of fantastical romance that is clearly meant [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/masculine-energy/twilight-and-making-your-greatest-romantic-fantasy-come-true/</link>
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		<title>Misery With a Married Man</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s something I hardly ever deal with - a &#8220;relationship&#8221; with a married man - because I see only pain there, but I know many of you are in, or have been in, or are tempted to get involved in a relationship with a married man, so here&#8217;s a letter from Belinda..
(Keep in mind as [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/misery-with-a-married-man/</link>
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		<title>Why Does A Man Treat You Badly</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a question from Maria that I want to jump off of (I edited it a bit) &#8230;
&#8220;l have a question, too and it may sound as stupid as it is simple. When a man treats you bad is it HIM or ME? Meaning - was he born with (or been given) a natural ability [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/why-does-a-man-treat-you-badly/</link>
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		<title>Baby Steps To Circular Dating</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m still jumping off Lisa&#8217;s comment that she can barely look a man in the eye, much less even consider &#8220;dating&#8221; one.  To get her, and you - started - here&#8217;s some  new baby-steps&#8230;and I&#8217;ll keep working this into the idea of a &#8220;Road Trip&#8221; to love.
Try this for now:
Baby Step 1- Make Friends.
This is [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/baby-steps-to-circular-dating/</link>
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		<title>Mesmerize Him By Listening To Your Body</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you disgusted with men?
Are you faced with the thought of dating men who are &#8220;sub-par&#8221; - and it feels icky?
I&#8217;ve experienced this a lot in my life, so I know what you&#8217;re feeling when you write me that you had a date with a man, and he only talked about himself, and wasn&#8217;t curious [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/mesmerize-him-by-listening-to-your-body/</link>
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		<title>The Road Trip to Love Forever</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Lisa is suffering after a breakup with her man of 10 years, and she&#8217;s feeling the way we&#8217;d all feel in this situation.  I want to jump off of her comment (sorry - I lost the link, but here&#8217;s the whole comment) and help her (and you, too) with some direction. (This will be the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/the-road-trip-to-love-forever/</link>
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		<title>How Expectations Can Change The Outcome</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I made online friends with this incredible man, Corey Allan.  He has a terrific blog - SimpleMarriage.net, and I asked if he would write something special for us - here it is:
When you get right down to it, you hear what you expect to hear, you see what you expect to see.
Expectations change the experience.
If [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/marriage/how-expectations-can-change-the-outcome/</link>
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		<title>More Answers To More Of Your Questions</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi - the older post for answering your questions is getting so huge it&#8217;s hard to get to them all&#8230;so here&#8217;s a fresh place for you to start asking new ones and helping each other.
So that everything we do here is helpful to you to having the relationship you want - when you share and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/your-story-questions-for-rori/more-answers-to-more-of-your-questions/</link>
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		<title>What To Do With Your Anger - A Man&#8217;s Point Of View</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a comment made by Matt in response to a series of comments started off by &#8220;Heartbeat&#8221; about how to handle your emotions - especially anger:
&#8220;I’m no advice columnist, but my first inclination is to tell you that a man needs to be able to receive your honest words, he needs to be able to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/communication/what-to-do-with-your-anger-a-mans-point-of-view/</link>
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		<title>Relationship Stress Hurts More Than Your Heart</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How does relationship conflict hurt your body?  Your health?  Your mind?
Okay, we all know stress is a demon - but I saw an article in the newspaper with actual data for women.
It seems that women in &#8220;strained&#8221; marriages are more likely than other wives to have high blood pressure and other risk factors for heart [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/relationship-stress-hurts-more-than-your-heart/</link>
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		<title>Are You Gifted?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Yes you are. You are gifted.
We&#8217;re all gifted in some way, and we all dismiss our gifts.
Instead of building on what we have that&#8217;s unique and special (calling Mr. Rogers here) - we yearn for what someone else has.
It doesn&#8217;t work that way.
So - let&#8217;s make a list of your gifts:
Are you especially sensitive to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/are-you-gifted/</link>
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		<title>He&#8217;s Just Not That Into You - The Scarlett Johansson Character</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Scarlett Johansson character here was the hardest for me to write about.
That&#8217;s because at her age (and into many, many years) - I could never dream of having the self-confidence she had.
Scarlett is able to feel, to Leanback, to sink into herself, to speak her feelings. She has the boundaries to let a man [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/attraction/hes-just-not-that-into-you-the-scarlett-johansson-character/</link>
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		<title>He&#8217;s Just Not That Into You - The Drew Barrymore Character</title>
		<description><![CDATA[For me, the Drew Barrymore character here was all about Hope. (Again - Spoiler alert - I tell it all, so see the movie first&#8230;)
She was confused, challenged by the same limited understanding of men and relationships that we&#8217;ve all suffered with, made worse by all the social networking alternatives and ways of contacting - [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/in-the-newscelebrities/hes-just-not-that-into-you-the-drew-barrymore-character/</link>
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