I know how you feel about being scared to lean back, fearful that he will not lean into you. Let me share something with you. I felt the exact same way because my Self Esteem was soo low. I thought for sure that if I turned from him, if I stopped doing everything that the relationship would fail and he would just “move on” to someone else. And then I took a deep breath and I realized… I am worth chasing. I bring a lot of wonderful things to this man’s life. I realized that I was not allowing him to be the man in the relationship, that I was doing all the work, and I didn’t know how to just “BE”. And then… I was completely surprised.
When I decided to have “the talk” with him about not seeing each other anymore, and that I don’t need another “friend” but a boyfriend, I decided we would go to a neatural place to talk, it happen to be the bar next to our place of work, but it was a place we had hung out at several times in the past. I gave my speech and the whole entire time, I was leaning back on my bar stool. Luckily, it’s a dive and not very busy so I did not have to worry about yelling anything or having to lean in to be heard. Anyway, as the conversation went on, not only did he begin to lean forward, he started to stretch his body across the table, and by the time we were done talking he was leaning over the table, with his arms reached out towards me. I had to hook my foot onto the rim of the bar stool across from me to keep my balance from falling out of the chair all together. It was crazy, and I couldn’t get the smile off my face. Next thing I know, when we do hang out (which is only once a week and only if he’s asked me to dinner or has asked if he could come over to mow my lawn or fix something for me) he is constantly coming up and hugging me. I about jumped a foot when we were watching tv the other night and he reached over and started rubbing my feet. HE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE. Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that not only does it work, but be brave enough to experience the joy of just “being” and “being surpised”. Welcome the thought of being chased, because you are worth it. Good luck!

Fear is the culprit once again. For me, if the man walks away from me, i see it as a gift. Rejection is a GOOD thing. Your insecurites are kicking in. You need to lean back in order to see the results. Rori always tells us the man can pick up on our vibes wheter we realize it or not. The only way to get your balance and answers is to Lean back. It keeps him off balance and gives you the high degree of difficulty you need.
Love~Trisha

Thank you! Thank you!
Robin

PS. I read you like to sing. Congrats! What type of music do you sing?

You’ve perhaps (I hope) already stopped
initiating conversations and sex and affection.
And still, your man may only step up very
little of the time.
So – here’s a Tool to increase your POWER in
this situation – and that’s to: BE A POND.
Okay, so what does that look like – to be a
pond?
Well, a pond is a gatherer. Water comes in and
stays in the pond, like it’s a cup.
A pond is also deep. It has a bottom that’s
earth, and sometimes the earth gets stirred up and
the pond gets cloudy and dark, and sometimes it’s
still and everything solid falls to the bottom and
the pond is clear.
A pond is a RESERVOIR. It HOLDS things.
And, it nurtures ITSELF.
A pond feeds the greenery all around it, and
the fish and frogs and one-celled creatures that
live in it. A pond supports life.
And if you go to a pond, you can drink, you can
find something to eat, you can relax, you can lay
down and be yourself.
A pond doesn’t jump up when you call or fix
dinner when you ask it to.
A pond doesn’t start sex, but once you wade in,
a pond responds with everything from gentle swirls
to powerful waves.
A pond can be small, or a pond can be big – it
can be a LAKE, actually.
So how does that look on the couch when you’re
watching TV?
That looks like you leaning way back and away
from him and putting your feet up on his lap.
That looks like you taking off your shirt and
just sitting there topless.
That looks like you having your own snack and
not even offering to take care of him.
That looks like you laughing your head off at
what you’re watching on TV and not even THINKING
about HIM or whether or not he’s going to touch
you.
That looks like, if he’s standoffish, saying
(during the commercial or when the show’s over) “I
feel a bit disconnected…is there anything I
should know?”
Or…”This feels a bit weird and lonely to me.”
Or…”I feel untouched. It doesn’t feel good.”
Or…”I don’t enjoy being invited into the
bedroom to join you and you’re already lying
down…it just feels too passive to me. I liked
it when you grabbed my hair and kissed me
passionately that time in the parking lot…I miss
that…”
Ponds talk. They speak their feelings. AND a
pond does not jump out of the earth.
And…remember this…if a pond does not get
watered, by the clouds, or by a stream or river
that flows into it – it will dry up.
Do you feel dried up?
That’s an awful feeling.
A pond might say “I feel like I’m drying up…”
So – it’s not enough to just ACT like a pond
and not Overfunction. You have to FEEL like a
pond.
You have to not even let your brain get to
worrying about what he’s doing – because that
would be like the pond worrying about how the
river is flowing – and ponds don’t worry.
Ponds are way too busy supporting all the pond
creatures that live inside it – like YOU attend to
your body, and your heart, and your hair, and your
nails and your feet, and your sensuality and your
orgasms, and what’s really important to you out in
the world, and everything that’s related to your
PLEASURE.
If he can learn to act like a River – he will.
He’ll all of a sudden start flowing to you -
because that’s what men are programmed to do.
Men we meet and know may have LEARNED to be
ponds – but inside their DNA, inside the cells of
their bodies, is a HUGE, overpowering desire to be
a River and to flow to the woman who can RECEIVE
everything he wants to GIVE.
And, if he can’t – if he’s damaged or broken,
or just cannot learn anything new – then you’ll
know.
And the most amazing thing is – by then – you
won’t CARE.
By the time you’ve settled into the
gloriousness of being a pond in a romantic
relationship – if he isn’t acting like a River,
you’re going to be bored.
Yes, – you’ll be bored with him. You’ll
be done.
No pain, no heartache – just “ick..I seem to
have lost it for him…”
Try Being a pond. Try imagining yourself not
only ACTING like a pond, and leaning back and
cutting back on all that you’ve been doing in the
relationship – and try imagining yourself FEELING
like a pond.
Soft, in the ground, open, warm, inviting,
liquid, constantly changeable and growing – a
beautiful combination of dark earth and clear
water – a fertile place for love.
And when you sit across from him at dinner, or
next to him on the couch in front of the TV – FEEL
like a pond.

so Robin, can you be a “pond”?
Love Trisha