Comments on: Ask And It Is Given http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/ Marriage & Relationship Advice From Rori Raye Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:37:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4607 By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17937 Rori Raye Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:37:48 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17937 Welcome debbie hissett - and this one is EASY! You are DATING him. Only that. So, it doesn't matter WHAT you do. Just don't sleep with him. Go out with him as you would any other man. And if he says all he wants is friendship - you say..."I'm looking for a real real relationship, not a friendship, and though I enjoy being with you a friendship won't be enough for me...so I don't feel sure what to say, but I know I don't want a friendship only, and certainly not a friendship with "benefits." What do you think?" And if this is just online, no real contact...I wouldn't put any more energy into it at all until you actually meet. Love, Rori Welcome debbie hissett – and this one is EASY! You are DATING him. Only that. So, it doesn’t matter WHAT you do. Just don’t sleep with him. Go out with him as you would any other man. And if he says all he wants is friendship – you say…”I’m looking for a real real relationship, not a friendship, and though I enjoy being with you a friendship won’t be enough for me…so I don’t feel sure what to say, but I know I don’t want a friendship only, and certainly not a friendship with “benefits.” What do you think?” And if this is just online, no real contact…I wouldn’t put any more energy into it at all until you actually meet. Love, Rori

]]> By: debbie hissett http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17918 debbie hissett Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:53:40 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17918 In a email he told me he thinks of me often and is becoming attached, but however he only wants great friendship and more to start. What do I say he wants to know if on the same page with him? In a email he told me he thinks of me often and is becoming attached, but however he only wants great friendship and more to start.

What do I say he wants to know if on the same page with him?

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17910 Daria Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:27:56 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17910 I feel triggered reading about the word fixing and "using the English language correctly" I feel judged! and judging! I feel curious. I feel triggered reading about the word fixing and “using the English language correctly” I feel judged! and judging!

I feel curious.

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17906 Daria Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:50:38 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17906 Gina - I have said "I feel so much love for you right now!" and did not feel lean forward. Gina -

I have said “I feel so much love for you right now!” and did not feel lean forward.

]]> By: Linda http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17880 Linda Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:55:24 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17880 Sorry, I should have posted this on the next one, but it all just came out!... Mr Scrutiny does not intend on ever really loving me and being real.... how sad a man he is. Sorry, I should have posted this on the next one, but it all just came out!… Mr Scrutiny does not intend on ever really loving me and being real…. how sad a man he is.

]]> By: Linda http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17879 Linda Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:52:17 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17879 I am glad to inspire... even though my learning and experiencing all this is taxing and draining. i just want the man I want to step up and take me away. I deserve it. I am a beautiful woman with so much to offer. I dont want a hayseed looking man. I dont want Mr Diesel and his stupid questions I dont want a man that cant speak the enlish language correctly and use the word "fixin" to do something. I am sick of shallow, self centered men. I dont want to answer text messages from old dates that ask how I am only. They dont really give a F**K I dont want any more e-mails from him. I dont want to feel all stirred up when I see his picture anymore. I dont want to feel love for him anymore I dont want to hope that dream I had in May will come true. I dont care if he has darts everytime he sees my picture I hope he bleeds to death! It serves him right I dont want to wished well and peace and to be careful and to protect myself!!! I dont want to be patronized and told how clever I am! Sometimes I feel so absolutely stupid! Linda I I am glad to inspire… even though my learning and experiencing all this is taxing and draining.

i just want the man I want to step up and take me away. I deserve it. I am a beautiful woman with so much to offer. I dont want a hayseed looking man.
I dont want Mr Diesel and his stupid questions
I dont want a man that cant speak the enlish language correctly and use the word “fixin” to do something.
I am sick of shallow, self centered men.
I dont want to answer text messages from old dates that ask how I am only. They dont really give a F**K
I dont want any more e-mails from him.
I dont want to feel all stirred up when I see his picture anymore.
I dont want to feel love for him anymore
I dont want to hope that dream I had in May will come true.
I dont care if he has darts everytime he sees my picture
I hope he bleeds to death! It serves him right
I dont want to wished well and peace and to be careful and to protect myself!!!
I dont want to be patronized and told how clever I am!

Sometimes I feel so absolutely stupid!

Linda

I

]]> By: janjune http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17841 janjune Mon, 12 Oct 2009 06:17:00 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17841 daria posting as Terrance Thames, that's hilarious~! daria posting as Terrance Thames, that’s hilarious~!

]]> By: janjune http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17829 janjune Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:05:12 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17829 Linda, I felt connected with your comments on an earlier post about my riffing feeling venomey. Yes I can feel the vemon and fire and acidic anger now even though it was sadness that got it started. Very purging. L.U.V., luv your comment about how you handled your date with Mr. Diesel. As to his question: “was it just free dinner and not sitting at home on a Friday the reason”… I felt scrutinized and questioned. grrrr…." I'm thinking of all kinds of smarty-pants answers to that! 1. I wouldn't *Be* sitting at home on a Friday night! 2. Did you think you were entitled to something other than a casual date with a beautiful woman when you asked me out for dinner tonight? 3. (head tilted) Do I *look* like I can't afford to buy my own dinner if I wanted to? 4. (head tilted again and a smile) A *free* dinner isn't free unless the company is good....Okay now that's getting a little caustic, but...geesh it was a loaded question! No, I wouldn't say #4. It sounds life you looked smashing in your leopard shoes jeans and leather blazer! It was his lucky night! I've got a second date coming up Tuesday which I really want to go on but I was wondering about what to say if he starts asking questions about getting "friendlier" than I feel comfortable with because when we talk on the phone he always says something about cuddling and that kind of thing. WELL< after I read your comment I realized that guys have their own version of 'THE TALK". ---*we* want to ask about their committment to us, but wait six months to do it. ---*they* spring their "WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING OUT AND WHEN AM I GOING TO GET IT?" talk on us on the first or second date! I don't know what I'm going to say if this comes up but your comment above has helped provide a little stucture. Plus I just plain LUV what you told him: “You seem reserved and you never touch me”…. my response…” Let me be honest, I used to be more open with common touch, but since I started dating, men seemed to take that as I sending them signals that I was wanting to sleep with them casually,” … “my experience has been that men hang around long enough, express interest long enough… to try to get in my pants and see if I will put out”…. (yes I said it just like that too)!!!! I said, “that is not who I am or what I am about or looking for”….. “so I dont touch much now” That is just TRUE TRUE TRUE, so why NOT say it! The first on-line date I had got into acting like I was wasting his precious time if I wasn't headed for the bedromm, nd I just told him this: "Well, to tell you the truth, I actually have no intention of sleeping with a man until I'm married." Then I just sat there looking at him. Not angry, just looking with a pleasant look on my face. He was somewhat angry, and said "well, there *is* the Friends Network, you know!" Anyway, after that he got kind of sweet and told me to watch it because it was a "meat market" out there and talked about what to watch out for. Which I thought was nice. I didn't hear from him again though. janjune Linda,
I felt connected with your comments on an earlier post about my riffing feeling venomey. Yes I can feel the vemon and fire and acidic anger now even though it was sadness that got it started. Very purging.

L.U.V., luv your comment about how you handled your date with Mr. Diesel.

As to his question:
“was it just free dinner and not sitting at home on a Friday the reason”… I felt scrutinized and questioned. grrrr….”

I’m thinking of all kinds of smarty-pants answers to that!
1. I wouldn’t *Be* sitting at home on a Friday night!
2. Did you think you were entitled to something other than a casual date with a beautiful woman when you asked me out for dinner tonight?
3. (head tilted) Do I *look* like I can’t afford to buy my own dinner if I wanted to?
4. (head tilted again and a smile) A *free* dinner isn’t free unless the company is good….Okay now that’s getting a little caustic, but…geesh it was a loaded question!
No, I wouldn’t say #4.

It sounds life you looked smashing in your leopard shoes jeans and leather blazer! It was his lucky night!

I’ve got a second date coming up Tuesday which I really want to go on but I was wondering about what to say if he starts asking questions about getting “friendlier” than I feel comfortable with because when we talk on the phone he always says something about cuddling and that kind of thing.

WELL< after I read your comment I realized that guys have their own version of ‘THE TALK”.
—*we* want to ask about their committment to us, but wait six months to do it.
—*they* spring their “WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING OUT AND WHEN AM I GOING TO GET IT?” talk on us on the first or second date!

I don’t know what I’m going to say if this comes up but your comment above has helped provide a little stucture.
Plus I just plain LUV what you told him:
“You seem reserved and you never touch me”…. my response…” Let me be honest, I used to be more open with common touch, but since I started dating, men seemed to take that as I sending them signals that I was wanting to sleep with them casually,” … “my experience has been that men hang around long enough, express interest long enough… to try to get in my pants and see if I will put out”…. (yes I said it just like that too)!!!! I said, “that is not who I am or what I am about or looking for”….. “so I dont touch much now”

That is just TRUE TRUE TRUE, so why NOT say it!

The first on-line date I had got into acting like I was wasting his precious time if I wasn’t headed for the bedromm, nd I just told him this:
“Well, to tell you the truth, I actually have no intention of sleeping with a man until I’m married.”
Then I just sat there looking at him. Not angry, just looking with a pleasant look on my face.
He was somewhat angry, and said “well, there *is* the Friends Network, you know!” Anyway, after that he got kind of sweet and told me to watch it because it was a “meat market” out there and talked about what to watch out for. Which I thought was nice. I didn’t hear from him again though.

janjune

]]> By: Katja http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17816 Katja Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:29:43 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17816 Thank you again,Linda. I know that this is true,its his fear that speaks and there is a struggle going on within him. I have been there myself,so I know whats going on. I did not contact him and I will not do so in the future. If he is ready he will step up. If not I will be ok with it (cause there are millions of men!). I will let you know what happens. Hugs and love, K. And thank you for sharing your story. Its really helpful to read others stories. I am really busy right now,so sorry for not writing more,but I will be back here tomorrow... Thank you again,Linda. I know that this is true,its his fear that speaks and there is a struggle going on within him. I have been there myself,so I know whats going on. I did not contact him and I will not do so in the future. If he is ready he will step up. If not I will be ok with it (cause there are millions of men!). I will let you know what happens.

Hugs and love,
K.

And thank you for sharing your story. Its really helpful to read others stories. I am really busy right now,so sorry for not writing more,but I will be back here tomorrow…

]]> By: alias girl http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/heal-your-heart/ask-and-it-is-given/comment-page-4/#comment-17815 alias girl Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:29:07 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=802#comment-17815 "Agreeing with a guy where he is at is healthy... … it has to be their idea they want you anyway we want them to row the boat." - linda yes. i feel nodding my head and yes! :) “Agreeing with a guy where he is at is healthy…

… it has to be their idea they want you anyway we want them to row the boat.” – linda

yes. i feel nodding my head and yes!

:)

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