Inside me I feel so much I can’t even keep it straight. Carousels and rollercoasters – an entire theme park of emotion. A carnival of feelings.
And – who cares what those feelings are!
I can say I feel mad at this, I feel sad from that, I feel glad because of this, I feel afraid of that….but it really doesn’t matter.
The only reason for discovering any of it is to become more aware of my triggers – but beyond that – it really doesn’t matter.
The only thing that matters is that I feel them fully – and then decide where I want my thoughts to be.
I get to decide what ride I take, what thought I think, where I go, what I do, what I say. I get to let my feelings out, I get to express, I get to choose what to let out, let go, let fly.
I get to be there while this carnival is flourishing – and I can either be miserable in it, or indifferent to it, or celebrate it. I can even join in and go whoo-hah!
And that’s only in ONE moment! I get all the other moments to choose different things.
And if I feel so anxious in the presence of the carnival – I get to breathe and make peace with the Ferris wheel and the river raft experience and even the shooting galleries. I can even point pistols if I want. I can feel the guilt but not let it run me.
I can either love the carnival or hate it or be indifferent to it or shut it down. I can go to sleep. I can go to sleep and still be awake.
So –what do I choose?
More important – what do YOU choose?