How To Attract Him Long-Distance

How To Attract Him Long-Distance – Just On The Phone

When all you have is the phone, email and texts to keep in touch with the man you love, because you live in different cities or even different countries, you have to know how to use what you’ve got.

(In my Heart Connection Toolkit CD set, I teach you the Goodnight Talk, and walk you through how to do it – you can get it here, along with in-depth instructions on how to do Feeling Messages all the time: Heart Connection Toolkit) – and here are a some basics for now:

1. Do NOT talk business, logistics, plans or run through your day, your week, your evening. In other words – stay away from FACTS and DESCRIPTIONS.

2. Instead, say how you FEEL about all these things. That could sound like (all you have is the phone, remember) “I felt so thrilled when my new client came in today…” or “I felt so overwhelmed with all the papers on my desk, and now it just feels so good to hear your voice…”

Practice doing this – the Toolkit will help you tremendously – everywhere you are, all the time, with everyone, so that when it comes time to speak to your man, you’ll be able to do it without thinking.

If he calls at a regular time each day, make sure you’re relaxed, sitting (or lying down) with something soft on your body and in your lap (like a cat, dog, cup of tea or a satin pillow) and speak in Feeling Messages, even if you’re talking about travel plans.

You’re staying away from describing your life and what you want and what’s happening, and going for experiencing your life and what you want and feel and what’s happening – and then sharing that experience and those feelings about the experience.

Try it – it’s a completely different way to be with a man, even over the phone, in texts and emails – and it will get you completely different results with your man.

Everything will feel easier, smoother, juicier, sexier, closer, more intimate, more thrilling, more tingly – and he’ll call more, too!

Let me know how this works for you…

Love, Rori

written by Rori Raye • Permalink • Leave a Comment »

Tuesday, 26 August 2008 @ 4:51pm

1: Kat says:

Rori,
This is great advice. When my husband calls, I always make him laugh. I always have an anecdote, an observation about something, or point out something ironic that makes us laugh. Is this ok? It seems that more than half of the time he calls, we’re both laughing out loud – it makes me feel good (to make him laugh) – but should I be focusing more on feeling messages or is this ok too?

Is “yucking it up” too masculine? What’s your opinion about being entertaining and funny? Everyone in my life says I’m this way, but I wonder what it does for attracting my husband.

Friday, 5 September 2008 @ 9:23am

2: EVA BELASCO says:

Dear Rori, my long distance relationship is insane (me, him and/or all). I am 55, divorced (I wanted it), attractive (eventhough overweight), lots of male attention, very educated, accomplished – foreign born, made it in US on my own, no family to relay on.
Me & my man met online, know each other for over 3 yrs, I have broken up with him 2ice (same reason – no actions to follow his beautiful words) but we keep getting back together. There’s a very strong intellectual attraction (he says detrimental for him, same for me), emotional too + chemistry, although we have never been intimate, not EVEN KISSING (slept together in the same bed when I visited him and he promised to respect my wishes of no quick sex), I know looks like he was not interested but was “bragging” how strong he is and can control himself, yes, there were some “weak” moments, and at that time he talked (again) about us finally getting & living together. While I was travelling back home, me NJ, him VA/D.C ., he kept calling abt. every hour to check on me, same on the way to him. It felt so wonderful… cared for, protected…He has a high level job=long hours, lot of travelling abroad & safety issues (government job), but seems he’s unwilling to do anything out of his very selfish “zone”. Feels like it’s initially improving after every break-up or distance and then becomes ridiculous again. Told me “he never traveled to meet a woman”!!!! Taugh for me and my body image – his ex-wife was an ex-model same as ex-girlfriend who supposedly refused his marriage proposal (?) … but obviously there are other qualities he appreciates in me, such as not being intimidated by him/his status/position, as he said: “you talk to me like nobody DARES to talk to me“… yes I told him I‘m not a doormat and the only thing he could impress me with is how he would treat me… He asked me to move in, I refused telling him I would not do it without a ring on my finger, he said he understood, respected it and that he would have to look for a ring… Truthfully, I don’t trust his words anymore, he tells me he’d call, does not (then I see him on the same site we met), talks abt meeting more often/soon, does nothing when I want to make specific plans. I practice the Lean Back move, he reacts =contacts me asking where I am, why I disappeared, we exchange emails, then O, no response again. When I cut off any contact, he’s back & same thing over & over again… As you advise, ( I bought few of your courses and trying my best to implement what you teach) I do date other men, frequent the site we met, see him there, I’m sure he sees me but I am “too classy” to contact him. We used to talk online for hours, and on the phone, each time we (finally) met was great, however, my “gut feeling” told me he would go on the site even when I was right there next by and while he was being so sweet to me… I am so very tired of these silly games. Now, I am reading all this as if written by a stranger and realize how pathetic it sounds, yet, next time he writes me how much he misses me, how much he needs me and wants me right there with him and “to come home to him at last”… I get weak…and then angry again and back off and the games begin… Pls help, I’m at the end of my rope and sanity. Thank you for your caring…
Eva

Sunday, 14 September 2008 @ 9:26pm

3: Rori Raye says:

To Kat:
Laughing is great! Seeing the humor in things is fantastic. Just please do this for me: Since “Everyone” tells you you like to laugh and make other people laugh, too – check in with yourself.

First – make sure the humor is what you’re feeling – that you’re happy to hear from him, love sharing funny stories – and if that’s true in the moent – share THAT with your husband:

“It feels so good to hear your voice and to laugh with you.” “I miss you so much, sometimes it feels so empty without you, and I feel so close to you when we’re laughing….” like that. Just turn everything into a Feeling Message, and see how that works…Rori

Monday, 15 September 2008 @ 12:14am

4: Rori Raye says:

To Eva:
I’m so sorry you feel so caught in all this, and I know what that feels like – most of us respond to the “drama” in this kind of experience. It’s as though the push-pull and the constant off-balance feeling of the relationship is a “turn-on.”

So – try this: Focus on finding the “turn-on” in other ways – with other men, other things, other activities – yourself! Although you’ve got a good handle on your boundaries – it sounds to me like you’re holding onto them hard. If you’re not going to have sex with a man, I don’t recommend sleeping with him in the same bed. It forces you to hold back on your own feelings, and sort of undercuts your ability to be open, warm, sensual….

Also – sex is not the thing here. The whole idea about not having sex until you’re comfortable is so that you DON’T get hung up on a man. The sex is insignificant – it’s the importance you put on it that’s the big deal. Since you are bonded to this man – you’ve gotten that way even without sex…so take a moment to look for what it is that’s got you so tied into him, and let’s unravel it, bit by bit.

A man who doesn’t try to claim you pretty quick is most likely not a good bet to get bonded to. Don’t let your emotions and hormones move faster than his.

And yes – the only way to do this is to date, to get a full life, and to discover what turns you on, how you get bonded so quickly, and how you can feel stronger inside. Love, Rori

Monday, 15 September 2008 @ 12:21am

5: Sally says:

Dear Rori,
I had been living with my partner and helping to raise his son for 10 years up until a few months ago. During most of this time I have been in graduate school. We often times had disagreements on the way to rear the child and I know that many times he felt neglected by my studies. He felt controlled by me too, and I see the ways that I made him feel that way, while I had issues with our inability to come to agreements about disciplining the child and especially in regard to motivation about school, and when the child became a young man his bringing his very young girlfriend home for the night and showers.

My partner also had valid insecurities regarding his familial situation although he never received praise for his success rearing a child alone and putting himself through college. His younger brother was sent to a prep high school and his parents fully supported him for 4 years at an ivy league institution and my partner felt jilted by that, not to mention the parents ignored his successes during entire adolescence and young adulthood… or that’s what I understood and had witnessed in interactions.

I went through a great deal of death in my family in a very short time and shortly afterward he had a sexual rendezvous with an old friend. Then he began having emotional relationships via email and texting and wanting to spend more time with female friends. For six months I knew there was something troubling him and suspected he had cheated. I finally stooped to the level of snooping to find the proof, which I did and finally confronted him with it. I had almost cheated at the same time so I forgave him and we agreed we loved each other and would work on our relationship. We went to counseling and began communicating. WE had been discussing moving to another state to be nearer his family and to work in an industry we are both interested in as soon as I finished school. But a job opening came up that allowed him an easy transfer and he began to feel antsy after the child moved out, and we both felt guilt and he obviously needed to get away, so we made financial arrangements so that we could live apart for a while, and agreed we would continue to work on our relationship long distance while having the freedom to complete our individual projects. After two wonderful, supportive and communicative months he called and wanted to break up with me. So we did, but we still have a financial arrangement and he is already seeing and sleeping with other women. I told him I don’t care about what he needs to do for himself that I care more about how we continue to communicate. It is important to me to perhaps have a reconciliation one day although I am not counting on it. Am I dealing with this in the right way? Is he a toxic man or just a textbook midlife crisis?

I’d love feedback. I can offer more information. Am I crazy to continue to put any energy in this relationship? My intuition tells me no and that one day after we’ve both been apart for a while, but communicate, our relationship can be healed….but I’m not sure if it isn’t simply my subconscious and wishful thinking.
Thanks Rori,
Sally

Tuesday, 11 November 2008 @ 8:42pm

6: Rori Raye says:

Sally, it doesn’t matter what’s going on with him – the question is – “What are you doing for YOU?” Love, Rori

Wednesday, 12 November 2008 @ 5:41pm

7: Sally says:

Dear Rori,

Thanks for your response, I understand and I am doing plenty for myself. I still love him and hate to throw away the good parts of ten years of commitment. But I am unclear on which of your programs would help me in particular? Which program would be most helpful for my situation? IS he a Toxic Man? If not, can I possibly attract him with your Sirens program? Blueprint for commitment?
I guess that’s why I gave so much information… and thanks again for your response, although I do hope you can direct me more clearly. Thanks for your time, Sally

Saturday, 22 November 2008 @ 1:17am

8: Peggy says:

umm no lol but i’ll try it next time

Wednesday, 7 January 2009 @ 9:29pm

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