Comments on: What To Do If He’s Stationed Overseas in the Armed Forces – And He Isn’t Interested In Your Life At Home… http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/ Marriage & Relationship Advice From Rori Raye Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:37:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=1570 By: Nanceen http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-47998 Nanceen Wed, 30 Jun 2010 03:21:13 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-47998 This is for the pregnant ladies, who have hubbies overseas....please maybe this is not the best advice but here goes, I noticed Rori talked about the super nanny that helped a mom, that did pics and a blog. Why dont you ladies, once a week or every two week, dress up your hair and your face as soft and beautiful as you know how, put on your lovliest maternity dress and take a pic but make sure your tummy is showing through a little, this way he is seeing how you are suddenly bigger, every week he gets to see some progress and a smiling happy face. He is gonna think, wow look at her all brave and positive, a real little trooper back there, you can also pose holding three gallons of ice cream and five hotdogs and grinning goofy like you have cravings. Dress up your dog (gently) in baby clothes or a baby bonnet and put a caption that says "honey the baby arrived early". He will crack up...draw a mustache on yourself, put a fake beard on and say "something is wrong with my hormones"... cheer up, he is still in the world, he loves you, you are going to be fine, your job is to be your beautiful self and get ready for motherhood. Enjoy your pregnancy, lean back, laugh delightedly, life is in you and he will join you in the fun!!! This is for the pregnant ladies, who have hubbies overseas….please maybe this is not the best advice but here goes, I noticed Rori talked about the super nanny that helped a mom, that did pics and a blog. Why dont you ladies, once a week or every two week, dress up your hair and your face as soft and beautiful as you know how, put on your lovliest maternity dress and take a pic but make sure your tummy is showing through a little, this way he is seeing how you are suddenly bigger, every week he gets to see some progress and a smiling happy face. He is gonna think, wow look at her all brave and positive, a real little trooper back there, you can also pose holding three gallons of ice cream and five hotdogs and grinning goofy like you have cravings. Dress up your dog (gently) in baby clothes or a baby bonnet and put a caption that says “honey the baby arrived early”. He will crack up…draw a mustache on yourself, put a fake beard on and say “something is wrong with my hormones”…

cheer up, he is still in the world, he loves you, you are going to be fine, your job is to be your beautiful self and get ready for motherhood. Enjoy your pregnancy, lean back, laugh delightedly, life is in you and he will join you in the fun!!!

]]> By: british http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-44017 british Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:54:16 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-44017 Rori, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a whole lot to me! Reading and following your work changed EVERYTHING for me, dramatically and very qucikly! Not only did it help me leave a toxic man and a HORRIBLE situation, that I want to slap myself for sticking around as long as I did looking back over it all.... but you helped me to find a truely amazing man that I could not be any more in love with, and I owe it all to your work! I got the relationship I wanted and deserved! Not only did your work change who I was, where I live and who I am now going to spend the rest of my life with, it also changed how I am going to spend the rest of my life! Let me explain, I started reading your work the end of last year, seeing such a dramatic turn around in my life and the influence you have had on so many of our lives, I decided that I really want to help people the way you have helped me! So I deicded to become a relationship counsellor! I applied to university to do counselling and psychology, and I got accepted! I start September. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done, I really don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough, or stress enough how much I owe to you! So I am going to show my gratitude, through trying to help others in the same way that you have helped me! xo Rori, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a whole lot to me! Reading and following your work changed EVERYTHING for me, dramatically and very qucikly!

Not only did it help me leave a toxic man and a HORRIBLE situation, that I want to slap myself for sticking around as long as I did looking back over it all…. but you helped me to find a truely amazing man that I could not be any more in love with, and I owe it all to your work! I got the relationship I wanted and deserved!

Not only did your work change who I was, where I live and who I am now going to spend the rest of my life with, it also changed how I am going to spend the rest of my life! Let me explain, I started reading your work the end of last year, seeing such a dramatic turn around in my life and the influence you have had on so many of our lives, I decided that I really want to help people the way you have helped me!

So I deicded to become a relationship counsellor! I applied to university to do counselling and psychology, and I got accepted! I start September.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve done, I really don’t think I will ever be able to thank you enough, or stress enough how much I owe to you! So I am going to show my gratitude, through trying to help others in the same way that you have helped me!

xo

]]> By: Marie http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-44006 Marie Mon, 07 Jun 2010 22:14:02 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-44006 Hi Rori, Thanks for the response and you are right, I don't like it! I know what you are saying is true, I need to either reconnect or leave. I'm in no-man's land now (literally). I came to the conclusion about leaning-back on my own and the results are truly amazing. I just don't feel anything for my husband any longer. I have been sucked dry. I am no longer angry with him, I feel nothing. I feel so tired. Not depressed, but weary. I do have a recommendation for a good marriage therapist (he promised me he would make the arrangements but it never happened, so I dug in my heels and have initiated this) and for my sake, I will get the ball rolling. Due to ordering your programs, I understand my role in all of this, he's NEVER had to step up until now. No wonder I feel tired. It's been 20 years of dragging him behind me. The affair has been my attempt to feel again and hang on for the sake of my children, but it's really at my own expense. Thanks for the insight and for everything you do. Hi Rori,
Thanks for the response and you are right, I don’t like it! I know what you are saying is true, I need to either reconnect or leave. I’m in no-man’s land now (literally). I came to the conclusion about leaning-back on my own and the results are truly amazing. I just don’t feel anything for my husband any longer. I have been sucked dry. I am no longer angry with him, I feel nothing. I feel so tired. Not depressed, but weary. I do have a recommendation for a good marriage therapist (he promised me he would make the arrangements but it never happened, so I dug in my heels and have initiated this) and for my sake, I will get the ball rolling. Due to ordering your programs, I understand my role in all of this, he’s NEVER had to step up until now. No wonder I feel tired. It’s been 20 years of dragging him behind me. The affair has been my attempt to feel again and hang on for the sake of my children, but it’s really at my own expense.
Thanks for the insight and for everything you do.

]]> By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-43995 Rori Raye Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:33:37 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-43995 Marie - Welcome, and okay....you're not going to like this. I don't believe you've exhausted your options with your husband. Everything - all feeling, sex - everything will come back for you if you can reestablish emotional intimacy. this means everything you've been feeling and stuffing all these years needs to be expressed. This is where therapy and coaching really, really make a difference. Spend your money getting help reestablishing your relationship with your husband. Start with just you...then see if he'll go with you. It might take a while and some trial-and-error to find the right people to help you...but your marriage is where the gold is - not with this other man - who is MARRIED!!!! If you feel you'd rather be alone - let that conclusion happen after all the other garbage you've been carrying around gets out in the open - NOT AS AN ATTACK! - we're talking about non-violent communication here - and your husband deals with it. I can make some suggestions for coaches who work by phone, but you'll have to find a face-to-face therapist in your town on your own. Do it. Love, Rori Marie – Welcome, and okay….you’re not going to like this. I don’t believe you’ve exhausted your options with your husband. Everything – all feeling, sex – everything will come back for you if you can reestablish emotional intimacy. this means everything you’ve been feeling and stuffing all these years needs to be expressed. This is where therapy and coaching really, really make a difference. Spend your money getting help reestablishing your relationship with your husband. Start with just you…then see if he’ll go with you. It might take a while and some trial-and-error to find the right people to help you…but your marriage is where the gold is – not with this other man – who is MARRIED!!!! If you feel you’d rather be alone – let that conclusion happen after all the other garbage you’ve been carrying around gets out in the open – NOT AS AN ATTACK! – we’re talking about non-violent communication here – and your husband deals with it. I can make some suggestions for coaches who work by phone, but you’ll have to find a face-to-face therapist in your town on your own. Do it. Love, Rori

]]> By: Marie http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-43971 Marie Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:02:07 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-43971 Hi Rori, I have a complex situation. I am married and am the classic overfunctioner. I made most of the money, managed that house and children, when my son needed more than his school was providing, I also home-schooled him for two years, all the while dragging this dead carcass of a man (my husband) behind me. I was no longer interested in sex with him and we have not been intimate in years. One day, I woke up and just leaned back. I decided I'm not going to make most of the money and don't care about the consequences financially. I'm not doing most of the management of the children. My son went back to school - he was ready and is now just thriving. I stopped all of my controlling behavior - I just really don't care anymore if we get the floors sanded or not. Who cares? ! My husband has picked up the ball financially and in every other way and doing better all the time. I lost about 30 pounds and look and feel fabulous. My problem is I know I should be wanting my relationship with my husband again, now that he is acting like a man, but I just don't. I never felt cared for, even though he is the kindest, funniest, drop dead handsome man. I feel used by him. I have two children and am in the marriage for that reason, and also because there is a chance that I won't have to work so hard to support myself and my family since my husband is now working more. I feel I need a break after carrying the whole thing on my back for so long. So I started an affair. Jim is a great guy,cares for me etc., in a marriage that is no longer intimate. I was a woman who did not need a man at all for anything and now I'm struggling to keep myself central, not focus on him, lean back using all your tools, I am circular dating and get lots of attention. Yet, I'm finding I feel great for a little while, but that great feeling does not last. It does not feel secure - obviously - it's an affair. I'm realizing an affair with a man, even with someone who cares and you connect with, is still an affair and it is the second relationship. I am slowly coming to the conclusion an affair will not make me feel good, no matter who it is with. Therefore, I feel caught in a cage. I cannot leave my marriage, I no longer love my husband, but I so want the relationship I deserve with a man. I feel so trapped. Whatever insight you can provide would be very helpful. THANK YOU. Hi Rori,
I have a complex situation. I am married and am the classic overfunctioner. I made most of the money, managed that house and children, when my son needed more than his school was providing, I also home-schooled him for two years, all the while dragging this dead carcass of a man (my husband) behind me. I was no longer interested in sex with him and we have not been intimate in years. One day, I woke up and just leaned back. I decided I’m not going to make most of the money and don’t care about the consequences financially. I’m not doing most of the management of the children. My son went back to school – he was ready and is now just thriving. I stopped all of my controlling behavior – I just really don’t care anymore if we get the floors sanded or not. Who cares? ! My husband has picked up the ball financially and in every other way and doing better all the time. I lost about 30 pounds and look and feel fabulous. My problem is I know I should be wanting my relationship with my husband again, now that he is acting like a man, but I just don’t. I never felt cared for, even though he is the kindest, funniest, drop dead handsome man. I feel used by him. I have two children and am in the marriage for that reason, and also because there is a chance that I won’t have to work so hard to support myself and my family since my husband is now working more. I feel I need a break after carrying the whole thing on my back for so long. So I started an affair. Jim is a great guy,cares for me etc., in a marriage that is no longer intimate. I was a woman who did not need a man at all for anything and now I’m struggling to keep myself central, not focus on him, lean back using all your tools, I am circular dating and get lots of attention. Yet, I’m finding I feel great for a little while, but that great feeling does not last. It does not feel secure – obviously – it’s an affair. I’m realizing an affair with a man, even with someone who cares and you connect with, is still an affair and it is the second relationship. I am slowly coming to the conclusion an affair will not make me feel good, no matter who it is with. Therefore, I feel caught in a cage. I cannot leave my marriage, I no longer love my husband, but I so want the relationship I deserve with a man. I feel so trapped.
Whatever insight you can provide would be very helpful. THANK YOU.

]]> By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-43959 Rori Raye Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:15:40 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-43959 British, Welcome, and thank YOU for YOUR service to us all...distance is always a tough thing. distance with danger attached must feel so intense, and I can only say how there is no way we could do without women like you - because the men who are being deployed need their wives and families for the sake of all of us. So - thank you. and - I LOVE your attitude! If you are the kind of woman who can flourish and thrive in this kind of environment - who can enjoy the time alone to think and prosper personally and pray and discover what life means, and enjoy friends and the tiny details of life - a truly spiritual, peaceful, inner life - then this will be amazing for you. I'm here for you 100%. This is the ticket: "time to focus on ourselves…loving ourselves and being happy!" Love, Rori British, Welcome, and thank YOU for YOUR service to us all…distance is always a tough thing. distance with danger attached must feel so intense, and I can only say how there is no way we could do without women like you – because the men who are being deployed need their wives and families for the sake of all of us. So – thank you. and – I LOVE your attitude! If you are the kind of woman who can flourish and thrive in this kind of environment – who can enjoy the time alone to think and prosper personally and pray and discover what life means, and enjoy friends and the tiny details of life – a truly spiritual, peaceful, inner life – then this will be amazing for you. I’m here for you 100%. This is the ticket: “time to focus on ourselves…loving ourselves and being happy!” Love, Rori

]]> By: british http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-43871 british Mon, 07 Jun 2010 03:35:38 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-43871 p.s sorry caligirl for spelling your username wrong, I don't know why I decided to add a "-" to it, seeing as it's 5am and I haven't been to bed...I am going to put it down to lack of sleep :P p.s sorry caligirl for spelling your username wrong, I don’t know why I decided to add a “-” to it, seeing as it’s 5am and I haven’t been to bed…I am going to put it down to lack of sleep :P

]]> By: british http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-43869 british Mon, 07 Jun 2010 03:30:23 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-43869 Hey Rori, hey girlies! I read Cali-girls post and had to respond, because I feel I can really relate to what she is going through! I've been a reader/follower of Rori for a few months. Even though she doesn't know me personally, she has helped me in more ways than anyone else has been able to - and for that, I trust my heart in her hands completely! Big shout out to Rori, for finding me true love! ofc there's a catch, he's being deployed for 15 months, to Afghanistan this September! It's so easy to be selfish and wollow in self pitty, it takes a strong woman to deal with this effectively! Cali-girl has been a breath of fresh air and a real example! It's nice to see someone facing a difficult situation with a positive out look! I agree with almost, if not everything she mentioned. I have much respect for you, I planned on dealing with this situation similarly to how you have, it's put my mind at ease to know that you're getting through this positively and that it is possible to make the best out of a bad situation! This close community has helped me no end! I wouldn't be where I am, or this happy, without you guys! I am here to offer my opinion, we all know deployment is incredibly difficult. It's hard not to fall into the traps of being needy, over functioning, or charging ahead with masculine energy... like Rori says, use your masculine energy to go out and save the world or make a million pounds (dollars). You'll feel better for it and you'll have more to talk about with your man when you do speak, rather than ringing him... just to ring him ;) Let's face it, it doesn't matter how much you whine, complain, cry, get angry, feel hurt, heart broken.... he's going to be deployed!!... no matter what we do, it is inevitable! My ex lived and still lives by this motto "take the reigns or lose it all" and I thought this was very fitting! We can either support and respect our men's desicions and choices, knowing that this is what they wanted.... and who are we to stand in front of their dreams? or, we can lose it all, walk away and find someone else. Either way, he's going for 6-15 months! whether we like it or not, so ladies - time to focus on ourselves...loving ourselves and being happy! Somewhere along the line, you decided what this ment for you and if it was worth it. Im 99% sure he didn't hide his occupation of being in the Army/Navy/Air force etc away from you... you knew this! Nobody ever said it was going to be easy, but there are strategies that can be adopted in order to cope. It might be a scary/ worrying for us about the situation but I promise you, it's a lot more emotional for them! P.s, Rori I think having this catagorie for women of men in the army/navy/ air force etc is an AMAZING idea! Once again, you haven't failed me! xo Hey Rori, hey girlies!

I read Cali-girls post and had to respond, because I feel I can really relate to what she is going through!

I’ve been a reader/follower of Rori for a few months. Even though she doesn’t know me personally, she has helped me in more ways than anyone else has been able to – and for that, I trust my heart in her hands completely!

Big shout out to Rori, for finding me true love! ofc there’s a catch, he’s being deployed for 15 months, to Afghanistan this September!

It’s so easy to be selfish and wollow in self pitty, it takes a strong woman to deal with this effectively!
Cali-girl has been a breath of fresh air and a real example! It’s nice to see someone facing a difficult situation with a positive out look! I agree with almost, if not everything she mentioned. I have much respect for you, I planned on dealing with this situation similarly to how you have, it’s put my mind at ease to know that you’re getting through this positively and that it is possible to make the best out of a bad situation!

This close community has helped me no end! I wouldn’t be where I am, or this happy, without you guys!

I am here to offer my opinion, we all know deployment is incredibly difficult. It’s hard not to fall into the traps of being needy, over functioning, or charging ahead with masculine energy… like Rori says, use your masculine energy to go out and save the world or make a million pounds (dollars). You’ll feel better for it and you’ll have more to talk about with your man when you do speak, rather than ringing him… just to ring him ;)

Let’s face it, it doesn’t matter how much you whine, complain, cry, get angry, feel hurt, heart broken…. he’s going to be deployed!!… no matter what we do, it is inevitable!

My ex lived and still lives by this motto “take the reigns or lose it all” and I thought this was very fitting! We can either support and respect our men’s desicions and choices, knowing that this is what they wanted…. and who are we to stand in front of their dreams? or, we can lose it all, walk away and find someone else. Either way, he’s going for 6-15 months! whether we like it or not, so ladies – time to focus on ourselves…loving ourselves and being happy!

Somewhere along the line, you decided what this ment for you and if it was worth it. Im 99% sure he didn’t hide his occupation of being in the Army/Navy/Air force etc away from you… you knew this! Nobody ever said it was going to be easy, but there are strategies that can be adopted in order to cope. It might be a scary/ worrying for us about the situation but I promise you, it’s a lot more emotional for them!

P.s, Rori I think having this catagorie for women of men in the army/navy/ air force etc is an AMAZING idea! Once again, you haven’t failed me!

xo

]]> By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-40203 Rori Raye Sat, 15 May 2010 00:24:01 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-40203 Danielle - nothing's normal. It's about how things sit with you. Okay - I'm going out on a limb here. Yes, this is weird and icky and bad and not what a girl wants. And yet - he's there with you, he's a great father, he makes you happy, and he isn't actually going OUT with anyone else or SLEEPING with anyone else (and this would be the only thing for you to talk with him about - and if you get ANGRY - it WILL NOT WORK!!!) As long as this can be completely out in the open, something you can laugh about because all these women want him but he's chosen YOU, and by his ACTIONS he seems true blue physically, (it seems to me from what you say that it's all "incoming" and he's not doing much outgoing?) then - I don't know what I would do. I might give it a go for the baby's sake...and try to work it out with him. Listen - some people SWING!!! and almost ALL of them have great marriages! So I don't want to put out RULES here...unless this is something you just don't want to handle. Then you have to leave. I don't think trying to get him to stop will get you anywhere - that's a fantasy. Either you accept a certain amount of his women friendships, on terms you can handle...or you leave. If it were me - I'd really try to explore the options in the relationship - perhaps see what he needs in these other women and if it could be met in the marriage without them. Maybe he's unbalanced from combat...there are lots of things going on here...Love, Rori Danielle – nothing’s normal. It’s about how things sit with you. Okay – I’m going out on a limb here. Yes, this is weird and icky and bad and not what a girl wants. And yet – he’s there with you, he’s a great father, he makes you happy, and he isn’t actually going OUT with anyone else or SLEEPING with anyone else (and this would be the only thing for you to talk with him about – and if you get ANGRY – it WILL NOT WORK!!!) As long as this can be completely out in the open, something you can laugh about because all these women want him but he’s chosen YOU, and by his ACTIONS he seems true blue physically, (it seems to me from what you say that it’s all “incoming” and he’s not doing much outgoing?) then – I don’t know what I would do. I might give it a go for the baby’s sake…and try to work it out with him. Listen – some people SWING!!! and almost ALL of them have great marriages! So I don’t want to put out RULES here…unless this is something you just don’t want to handle. Then you have to leave. I don’t think trying to get him to stop will get you anywhere – that’s a fantasy. Either you accept a certain amount of his women friendships, on terms you can handle…or you leave. If it were me – I’d really try to explore the options in the relationship – perhaps see what he needs in these other women and if it could be met in the marriage without them. Maybe he’s unbalanced from combat…there are lots of things going on here…Love, Rori

]]> By: Danielle http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/long-distance-relationships/what-to-do-if-hes-stationed-overseas-in-the-armed-forces-and-he-isnt-interested-in-your-life-at-home/comment-page-1/#comment-40138 Danielle Fri, 14 May 2010 18:17:36 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=90#comment-40138 Soo, Ive known this guy for like 6 years as a friend and finally after all that time we finally told eachother how we felt about one another and it was what I thought was going to be the best thing in my life. Well a couple months later he left for afghanistan and I found out I was pregnant which was totally a shocker and not planned at all! We talked all the time and had a pretty normal relationship while he was gone, yea we fought sometimes but basically kept to the topics of loving one another and the baby and so on! So anyways he got back last june when i was 8 months pregnant he asked me to marry him and then we had our beautiful little girl and I thought i had been blessed by god by the life i was given, I have this amazing husband and a beautiful daughter and couldn't be happier! Well it didnt take long for that change, about 3 months after he got home, I felt like he was different and he just seemed to be very secretive so yes I did the only thing your always told is wrong, I snooped through is e-mail, but come to find out he was talking to numerous girls while he was over seas and not only just some random internet girls but ex-girlfriends, and he kept talking to them when he got home, like i found one e-mail that said yea im still single, you still want to meet up for drinks?!!! like i couldn't believe it, I mean I know he never went and met anyone cuz he is home with me all the time but I don't understand how this is ok, or that he hides old highschool friends from me like we were on vacation in texas and some girl was texting him and calling him and so was he but he only did it while i wasnt around!! and he just said he retouched with an old friend and he calls everyone baby and beautiful and it shouldn't matter like i told him i would forget about it all because he did apologize if it hurt my feelings and i know deep down he loves me and we have a family together and he is a great father and he does do sweet little gestures once in a while but i just cant get it out of my head, everytime hes on the phone or texting someone i think its another girl, or everytime i go out of town to visit family i feel like he is online again talking to other girls telling them how beautiful they are and how he wants to web cam with them!! Like does anyone have any kind of advice? Is this normal behavior for guys?? Soo, Ive known this guy for like 6 years as a friend and finally after all that time we finally told eachother how we felt about one another and it was what I thought was going to be the best thing in my life. Well a couple months later he left for afghanistan and I found out I was pregnant which was totally a shocker and not planned at all! We talked all the time and had a pretty normal relationship while he was gone, yea we fought sometimes but basically kept to the topics of loving one another and the baby and so on! So anyways he got back last june when i was 8 months pregnant he asked me to marry him and then we had our beautiful little girl and I thought i had been blessed by god by the life i was given, I have this amazing husband and a beautiful daughter and couldn’t be happier! Well it didnt take long for that change, about 3 months after he got home, I felt like he was different and he just seemed to be very secretive so yes I did the only thing your always told is wrong, I snooped through is e-mail, but come to find out he was talking to numerous girls while he was over seas and not only just some random internet girls but ex-girlfriends, and he kept talking to them when he got home, like i found one e-mail that said yea im still single, you still want to meet up for drinks?!!! like i couldn’t believe it, I mean I know he never went and met anyone cuz he is home with me all the time but I don’t understand how this is ok, or that he hides old highschool friends from me like we were on vacation in texas and some girl was texting him and calling him and so was he but he only did it while i wasnt around!! and he just said he retouched with an old friend and he calls everyone baby and beautiful and it shouldn’t matter like i told him i would forget about it all because he did apologize if it hurt my feelings and i know deep down he loves me and we have a family together and he is a great father and he does do sweet little gestures once in a while but i just cant get it out of my head, everytime hes on the phone or texting someone i think its another girl, or everytime i go out of town to visit family i feel like he is online again talking to other girls telling them how beautiful they are and how he wants to web cam with them!! Like does anyone have any kind of advice? Is this normal behavior for guys??

]]>