Comments on: Are You In An Imaginary Relationship? http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-in-an-imaginary-relationship/ Marriage & Relationship Advice From Rori Raye Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:37:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=8738 By: Elle http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-in-an-imaginary-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-36608 Elle Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:16:07 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=109#comment-36608 i would like to subcribe. i would like to subcribe.

]]> By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-in-an-imaginary-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-21367 Rori Raye Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:47:28 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=109#comment-21367 Oh, Kim - I'm so happy for you, and thank you so much for letting me know! Keep doing what you're doing! Love, Rori Oh, Kim – I’m so happy for you, and thank you so much for letting me know! Keep doing what you’re doing! Love, Rori

]]> By: Kim http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-in-an-imaginary-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-21217 Kim Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:40:54 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=109#comment-21217 A few months ago I was ready to do myself in. Major problems with my son, my boyfriend and I split up, I was out of control. I had been going to a psychologist for the past 5years after my husband died. I was looking for anything that might help. I bought a few of the Christin Carter CD's when I heard you talk on one of them. I was compelled to buy Sirens and it has really turned my life around. I went from scared, angry, resentiful, to playful, happy and sexy with your help. My man and I are not back together yet but I'm working it. Or should I say, looking forward to it. I love how you've done the short story/advice like this one. I'm a Rori believer! Thanks again, Kim I love how you' A few months ago I was ready to do myself in. Major problems with my son, my boyfriend and I split up, I was out of control.
I had been going to a psychologist for the past 5years after my husband died. I was looking for anything that might help.
I bought a few of the Christin Carter CD’s when I heard you talk on one of them. I was compelled to buy Sirens and it has really turned my life around. I went from scared, angry, resentiful, to playful, happy and sexy with your help. My man and I are not back together yet but I’m working it. Or should I say, looking forward to it. I love how you’ve done the short story/advice like this one.

I’m a Rori believer!

Thanks again, Kim

I love how you’

]]> By: Daria http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-in-an-imaginary-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-118 Daria Sun, 28 Sep 2008 16:27:26 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=109#comment-118 Helen, I empathize with you. I have been in a similar situation, where the guy I was "with" told me we're not in a relationship, although we were sleeping together and seeing each other daily. He had pictures in his house of other women, not me. Worse, he actually dated other women right in front of me. I know he slept with them as well. He got away with this because we were also "friends," and because it felt so good to be around him. Rori, in your newsletter today, you clarified Overfunctioning and asked us to write down and track the things we do and think about a man, notice and write how much time we spend, as well as what results and feelings we get when we initiate and what results we get when we do not. You explained that a man in love is one of the only people who actually want to work hard to impress us. Could you please clarify what you meant here: "And if he's jammed at work or with responsibilities to his children, and he can't do all the work - then he wants to DELEGATE the job to you. That means he wants to DIRECT you in how to get the job done. This way, he STAYS in charge, which is how he likes it. And if he doesn't feel that way - there's something wrong. This explains men who aren't "generous" - which is one of the most icky habits a man can have." When you say there's something wrong if he doesn't, do you mean that it is ok to allow a man to delegate these tasks to us because he is truly occupied with these important things and that is a time when we can help? OR do you mean instead that this man is too busy to seriously date us and we should refuse to accept the delegated task? What implications would this have in a relationship that's already serious, like a marriage? Also, when you say that this explains men who are not generous, I feel confused. I do not see how this explains it. Are you saying that they are too busy or focused on their work/children? I guess my question is that is it ok for a man to delegate certain tasks to us, or is this exactly what we should keep away from? Helen, I empathize with you. I have been in a similar situation, where the guy I was “with” told me we’re not in a relationship, although we were sleeping together and seeing each other daily. He had pictures in his house of other women, not me. Worse, he actually dated other women right in front of me. I know he slept with them as well. He got away with this because we were also “friends,” and because it felt so good to be around him.

Rori, in your newsletter today, you clarified Overfunctioning and asked us to write down and track the things we do and think about a man, notice and write how much time we spend, as well as what results and feelings we get when we initiate and what results we get when we do not.

You explained that a man in love is one of the only people who actually want to work hard to impress us.
Could you please clarify what you meant here:

“And if he’s jammed at work or with
responsibilities to his children, and he can’t do
all the work – then he wants to DELEGATE the job
to you.
That means he wants to DIRECT you in how to get
the job done.
This way, he STAYS in charge, which is how he
likes it.
And if he doesn’t feel that way – there’s
something wrong.

This explains men who aren’t “generous” – which
is one of the most icky habits a man can have.”

When you say there’s something wrong if he doesn’t, do you mean that it is ok to allow a man to delegate these tasks to us because he is truly occupied with these important things and that is a time when we can help? OR do you mean instead that this man is too busy to seriously date us and we should refuse to accept the delegated task? What implications would this have in a relationship that’s already serious, like a marriage?

Also, when you say that this explains men who are not generous, I feel confused. I do not see how this explains it. Are you saying that they are too busy or focused on their work/children?

I guess my question is that is it ok for a man to delegate certain tasks to us, or is this exactly what we should keep away from?

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