I know it feels awful, but an emotional meltdown every once in a while is kind of essential to the process of moving toward feeling more alive.
If you can write it all out, journal it, speak it out loud to yourself – that says you have resources, skills, and that this part of the process is something you’re willing to move through.
You can’t go deep without encountering the “dark night of the soul.” It’s what makes us feel connected to the profound.
You can’t dance around what you need to say to a man. You can’t pretend you don’t want what you want.
Speaking the truth of what you feel and what you want is a totally different thing from “neediness” and “desperation.”
In fact, the sheer bravery of speaking out loud what’s already in your thoughts and heart is testament to your courage and confidence and comfort within yourself.
If you’re feeling horribly frustrated with a man you’ve been with for a very long time – instead of telling him what you want him to do, you might really go full bore with the truth by saying:
“I mean I seriously almost just want to blurt out horrible things to you, I feel like slapping you, shaking you, yelling at you…”
The point of going for broke here and being totally truthful with him is to learn this valuable skill.
It’s about bringing things to “a head” (yes..like a pimple). It’s about saying the “elephant in the room.”
And it’s about making the decision that what you want is for either the relationship to move forward, or for you move on – with new skills and strengths.
Some might call it an “ultimatum.”
Some might call it a “declaration of intent.”
I think it’s easier just to call it “moving to getting clearer about what I want and don’t want…”
Sometimes you have to feel around for it. It doesn’t just show up with a bang, fireworks, written across the sky….
The goal here is for you to learn to WANT a man who WANTS you! And, along the way, you’ll simply need to find out what’s what…..