Here’s a letter from Rhonda that I think we can all identify. I know that when I feel angry at or resentful of my husband – I feel all the things Rhonda feels.
It’s only my skills, my experience, all the work I’ve done to become more aware of what’s going on inside me and shift my attitude and the way I think about things, the Tools I use every moment of every day that make the dramatic difference in my life and romantic life:
“Hi Rori! I know you said the best way to get your man’s attention back onto you is to kind of ignore him, lean back, and go about your business and NEVER let him ignore you.
I am fine and okay doing this, but lately he has been going out more than often to “get away” and when he does, it always involves other girls being in the same setting, and it pisses me off because I think it’s inappropriate.
How do I go about having this conversation with him in a way that I can be heard. I’ve tried confronting him several times about it, and nothing is getting through his thick skull. I feel like he has no respect for me…
Rhonda – this situation rings to me as “low class” – and not because he’s low-class, or you are – but because of the “drama” involved here.
If this is your attitude towards him: “…I’ve tried confronting him several times about it, and nothing is getting through his thick skull. I feel like he has no respect for me” - then his “running away” makes perfect sense.
You have to own your part of this dynamic – and that’s YOUR respect for HIM.
And if he’s disappearing into social situations – then pretty much, it just says that neither of you have the maturity and skills at this moment to have a meaningful conversation that’s a heart-to-heart and not a confrontation.
He’s not just going for walks and running at the gym – he’s doing stuff that he has to KNOW specifically puts you off balance and feels hurtful to you.
You are BOTH punishing each other.
You have to go first.
You need to learn the skills of talking to him with respect and yet with your whole heart.
You need to learn to negotiate.
AND – this all begins with your relationship with yourself.
So – what does that look like?
Start with my ebook – and learn how to use the Tools by practicing them consistently with EVERYONE.