Comments on: Love and Valentines Day

By: Business

Business — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:31:37 +0000

All I can say to all of this is that Valentines Day is not just for lovers, it’s also for anyone that you love. I celebrate it with everyone that I love. I send cards every year to my friends and family. No one should ever limit Valentines Day to just being romantic with someone. It’s for spreading love to everyone that you love.

By: Linmayu

Linmayu — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:28:26 +0000

I spent Valentine’s Day with a bisexual girlfriend who is awesome and makes me feel beautiful and desired. We went to a concert and then got pizza; it was perfect. <3 I could easily have gotten upset because no man asked me out, though…

By: gina

gina — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:37:00 +0000

I fel tired and sad but know that I am going to get through and I feel hopeful. Each day is a gift

By: sia

sia — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:04:46 +0000

daria
that is a great text! I am thinking about you – that feels just right not overcomplimentary..
I would probably read it 5o times if I was interested in the guy. Not good for me I know..

By: Debbie

Debbie — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:43:39 +0000

No, Lori we were not married because he wouldn’t set a date! But as he put it “he wasn’t going any were!” We never fought, but I really never stuck up for myself, until things were so out control!
What I wrote in my original post isn’t the half of it!
Any way he just called he wants to see me, to drop off some of my stuff I left behind, see he don’t even know where I live yet! I really am not ready to see him, I told him I have an app. at the UW which isn’t true, my app. isn’t until next week! I hate lying but there is a part of me that would like to see him, but I am still so angry and bitter! That it is hard to be nice, positive or anything attractive at all! I am really trying to date myself, and tell myself, I am beautiful, worth while, etc. etc.!!!!!
P.S I can’t find my orignal post en-either!

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:43:37 +0000

Debbie,

This is all about doing what feels good to YOU. I used to think it was impolite to not return a call within a certain amount of time, but now I just do what makes me feel comfortable. If you don’t feel ready to return his call, DON’T. If you don’t feel ready to see him, DON’T. This is the first baby step in sticking up for yourself. You can’t control him and make him be a real man and step up and treat you right, but you CAN take back control of your own life. Return his call and agree to see him only if and when you feel ready and able to! Turn your phone off if you have to!

One thing that helps me is to picture the men who don’t step up as “baby men” like Rori says. That makes them seem less intimidating and it’s true because they are not ready for a real grown up relationship. I personally want a real, full grown man who can take care of me physically, mentally, emotionally etc and WANTS to!

By: Debbie

Debbie — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:26:00 +0000

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:54:06 +0000

Debbie,

It does sound like your man is selfish and not meeting your needs. I couldn’t find your original post to see if you are married or just dating. If just dating, I’d suggest to go out and circular date. If married, go out and date yourself. Do things that make YOU happy since he is not.

I feel shocked and sad that he made you take back the outfit. I would have refused to take it back. That feels very controlling and stingy to me. Why couldn’t HE take back some of the hunting gear he admitted he spent too much money on? The whole situation you’re describing feels icky to me. My children also asked for both and Xbox and Ipod Touch for Christmas and I told them they had to choose which one they wanted more. There is no reason his son needed to get $1,000 worth of birthday and Christmas presents, he got new hunting gear and you got a robe and slippers and had to return an outfit. This man feels mean to me. Maybe use some feeling messages about how it felt that you had to return an outfit in this situation. I’m assuming you didn’t spend anything ridiculous on the outfit, right? I mean, if you spent $5,000 on it he may have a point lol.

I do believe every couple should each have a small fund of their own money to play with that the other can’t question. My parents have 3 accounts; hers, his and theirs. They pay all of the bills out of their joint account and he buys his car stuff out of his and she buys her shoes out of hers. They swear by this system as neither questions the others purchases as discussion is only allowed on the joint account. Maybe you should try setting up something like this.

By: Debbie

Debbie — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 09:45:48 +0000

Thank you Daria, for your encouragement because when looking back, which I really try not to! I feel selfish, then I play the whole tape through how his son, who has a b-day a month before Christmas recieved $300.00 gun that he didn’t even show any appreciation for in fact was up set because he didn’t get an xbox 360! So for Christmas he recieved his xbox plus a I Pop Touch. Pretty nice little gifts for a 14yr. to receive!
I could have excused the robe and slippers, if it had been his first time he had been so thoughless! But he forget my B-day, Valintines Day! Our Anniversary he was just into him self! A aweek before his sons birthday, I had went out and bought myself a new outfit, which in the two years we were together I hadn’t done! He made take it back, infact he went with me while I took it back, claiming we couldn’t afford it! Which was’t the case, he had just spent to much on hunting gear! Now I am obsessing!

By: Daria

Daria — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 06:52:46 +0000

Gina — hugs ! this is a great place to heal for me!

How about start with a feeling message, right here.

How do you feel?

I feel excited!