Here’s a great comment from a man (let’s call him Edgar) with great insight and tips for how to get closer to a man emotionally, help him open up to you, and just simply talk with him. He’s writing it in response to Laurie, who wrote about the man she’s seeing: “I want to know the real man. He is so protective that I don’t believe I’ll ever really know his heart.” Edgar says:
“No you don’t want to know the real man! Trust me on this, it will only make you sad and bewildered. We guys don’t think like you - we don’t care about the same things you do.
Every time I have been able to share my true heart with a woman she has thrown it away.
Most men have very similar experiences and this is why we don’t share our hearts.
Women do not understand what we want or care about. This is especially true of the more technically minded males.
When you are upbeat and positive towards your male, he will open up more:
1) Do not laugh at him or think he is joking when he tells you that his true passion is something you find absurd.
2) Do not lose interest in him once you really understand him (This one is all too common.) Most women love the discovery and mystery of a man, but once they figure him out he isn’t interesting anymore.
3) DO NOT EVER force him to face you directly when talking to him about something emotional or personal to him.
Sitting next to each other while driving or swinging on a porch swing etc. is a much better way.
For men, face to face is the posture of confrontation, shoulder to shoulder is the posture of cooperation.”
I thought these tips were both practical – especially about sitting next to a man instead of facing him – and deep – about men feeling that if they open their hearts to us we’ll trample them…
Let me know how this lands with you…