I am not very experienced w/relationships and stuff but from what I’ve seen so far, mixing job w/ romance is bad business. Men may come and go, as Rori says until you’ve got a ring on your finger you’re just dating, but the job is a really serious stuff that you do have to hold on to. But all that’s happened is part of your experience, please don’t beat yourself up for it, just consider it as a thing you’ve learned something from. I’ve lost my job too last year and was “on the outside” for 3 months and I know how horrible, rejected and despairing that feels so I’m totally with you. My “profane” advice is to try and get over your anger, forgive yourself, love yourself fully (trust me, it may be hard but its doable) and things will be ok.

P.S Please excuse any strange grammar, spelling, etc, i’m not a native English speaker

Rori, any insight from you… for about a year by now I can not land a job … and I am trying… I find myself over and over angry at my ex who caused it, and whom I trusted… I started working for him, we planned kids and such… and I also find it very hard to forgive myself for trusting him. (I know quite a few women who moved or gave up their jobs… but the guys stood by them and married). I don`t want to blame anyone, I want to move on with my life.

Hi Kate, how many years of working history is good to mention on resume? I mean max.

There is an episode of my Circular Dating practice experience that i’d like to share here: I have had three dates with this guy I’d met online. The first two dates went great, I felt really comfortable with him, I used a lot of feeling messages and was able to be totally myself. He seemed to appreciate that. We also talked a lot online and he was constantly pursuing me. On the first two dates things were rather “friendly” on the physical level, just kissing on the cheek. But at the end of the third date, just out of the blue, he grabbed me in his arms and kissed me rather forcedly, in the same time patting me all over. I’m not very experienced with this and it all felt quite awkward and almost brutal. I was also taken by surprise by this sudden change, it felt almost as if he were a different person. Further more, I felt no affection in his touch, just a sort of selfish desire and that honestly repelled me. In the moment I wasn’t able to react, I was embarrased and didn’t know what to say. However, later as I went deeper into my feelings I realized that this thing I’d felt in his touch and this “approach” of his was going to be a deal breaker for me. So the next day when we talked on messenger, I wrote him the following ” When you took me in your arms yesterday at the bus station I felt like a pray and I didn’t like that. I couldn’t feel any affection. And I really want to receive affection”
His reply was “I see. If that’s the case, then good riddance”. And he was gone. Now i’m having doubts about the message and I’d very much appreciate your feedback on the whole thing.

Thank you!

I recently started talking to a man I haven’t seen for quite a while (we
were schoolmates in university, but never really spoke to each other back
then). It was great for a while, he seemed really interested and he called
me everyday, sometimes more than once a day. I felt that we really connected
and he agreed that we did too. We finally went out, and as the date got too
carried away, I made the big mistake of getting intimate with him! Right
after that, he said he felt terrible and I admitted that I did too. He then
said that he was happy with his life the way it was and that he didn’t want
a relationship, etc. I know he is a good man and he wasn’t just in it for
the sex. I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship at all (not with
me per se), and he said that he didn’t know and needed to think about it. He
called today and he said that he didn’t want to be in a relationship now,
that he has feelings for me but didn’t want the pressure of me having any
expectations because of that. He said that he wanted to be ‘just friends’
and then see how things go from there. He also admitted that he saw some
potential, but that we have very different views of relationships (I feel
that it is the man’s responsibility to put in the effort to ask me out while
he feels that he shouldn’t have to put in any effort, that we should just
hang out and see how things go from there; he feels this way because he put
in a lot of effort into his previous relationship and he was very hurt by
it). My question is: have I totally lost him or is there some way that I can
still make this work? He did mention that he wouldn’t mind if I never saw
him as more than a friend again, and that that was a risk he would have to
take because he doesn’t have much feelings for me since he hasn’t known me
for long. I have been hurt before by non-committal men and I am afraid that
the same situation will happen once again if I fall back into my old ways of
being insecure. I realize that like what you said in your eBook, I have a
lot of anger for myself and I blame myself for having not stuck to my
Boundaries and getting intimate with him on our first ‘date’. I would
reallyyyyyyy appreciate any advice on this matter because I see a lot of
potential with this man. Thank you!