Sometimes The Problem Is We Don’t Say Enough

Here’s a guest post from my fantastic friend and amazing coach/therapist Todd Creager – who’s also my Monthly Interviewee for November (he sends out weekly tips like this – so I’ll publish a few of them. I love them – and be sure to go to his site and get your own for free):

by Todd Creager

This week is a continuation of developing those communication and empathy skills which are so important in any relationship.
Sometimes the problem is we do not say enough.

When your partner expresses something where he is in some sort of emotional pain, get specific about what it is like for him. In other words, use words to let your lover know that you understand where he’s coming from.

Here are 3 samples of communication; one is unproductive and provocative, the second is far better and ok but the third is far more impactful.

Example #1:

Partner 1: I am so hurt that you once again did not listen to me and went right to you and your stuff.

Partner 2: Well, you’re not the only one that is upset!

Example #2:

Partner 1: I am so hurt that you once again did not listen to me and went right to you and your stuff.

Partner 2: I hear that you are so hurt.

Example #3:

Partner 1: I am so hurt that you once again did not listen to me and went right to you and your stuff.

Partner 2: Yes, I hear that you are very hurt and that instead of staying with what was bothering you, I went to me.  I do that way too much and I can see how painful that is for you.  I am truly sorry.

If you were Partner 1, how would example # 3 impact you?

Here’s to getting the love you want,

Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT
Relationship Therapist, Speaker, Author
Schedule your FR*EE 30 minute strategy session with Todd at (714)848-2288

To share this post:Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrDigg thisEmail this to someoneShare on Reddit

written by Permalink

1,594 Comments to “Sometimes The Problem Is We Don’t Say Enough”

  1. 1: EmoticonNo Gravatar says:

    If I were partner #1 …Example 3 would make me feel the need to consider his pain also, and also feel comforted that he apologized and acknowledges my pain.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 4:02pm

  2. 2: BelleNo Gravatar says:

    Yuck. If my partner pulled a #3 on me, I’d feel manipulated and pandered to. I don’t want to make my partner wrong or for him to make himself wrong, I just want to hear, “My bad, I’m listening now. What’s up?”

    In other news,
    you know how Rori says we should focus on our own lives and do something like take a pole dancing class?
    Guess who has TWO poles set up in her former living room right now???
    A friend of mine who used to teach asked if I would PLEASE let her set them up at my place and let her teach me.

    I feel yummy yum yumlicious right about now.
    Last week I went rollerskating, this next weekend I’m going on a trampoline jump, plus I signed up for a 3-month Nia package. I’m focused on my own life and feeling so grounded and good. My dreams have been amazing, multidimensional healing dreams…
    I’ve been asking for what I want even when it scares me
    In my SOUL kind of good.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 4:21pm

  3. 3: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Posting to get these to come to my email

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 4:23pm

  4. 4: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    BAB (from other thread)

    I see you making such a big effort to really dive into this! You rock.

    And if you can, feel every little nuance of every feeling you feel during these interactions. Some significant learning exists there and real expansion can come from that place. You can pick and choose which feelings to express depending on what feels right to you. Gets you deep into the core of your being. It’s a great place to start from and will become natural after some practice. It’s also fantastic for pulling focus off the other person.

    Sometimes…I say nothing or just “ok” or just a smile or a full on FM. Whatever feels right. Also helps because I never, ever feel “wrong” or bad about how I behaved or what I said when I think about it later.

    Keep it up!

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 4:59pm

  5. 5: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Hmmm and sometimes I slip for various reasons but that’s cool too. Love to me :)

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:00pm

  6. 6: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    Hmm. Now I’m confused.

    Smacks too much of ‘making it all about him’.

    Or maybe I’ve been withholding empathy?

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:11pm

  7. 7: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    Doubly confused because of this from Rori’s e-mail

    ” 9. Be very aware of what you’re focusing on – ask yourself – am I thinking about me and what I’m doing? Or am I listening to him – over where he is, and just experiencing?

    Your goal is to totally Stop Thinking, so as soon as you become aware you’re thinking about you and what you’re saying next or what the things he’s saying are bringing up in you, and then sort of bounce the ball of your attention over to where HE’S at – you’ll be AUTOMATICALLY experiencing.”

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:12pm

  8. 8: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    To where HE’S at, Rori?

    Now I don’t understand the subtleties of level 2 listening, and balancing it with ‘keep the focus on me’.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:13pm

  9. 9: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    I can do that.

    I can put all my attention over there onto him.

    I was, however, trying to get out of that habit….

    Help, anyone???

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:20pm

  10. 10: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Equally confused as April Rose

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:21pm

  11. 11: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    I can put my attention on him. In neutral. Like in refusing to be triggered or affected by his words.

    Is that what it means?

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:21pm

  12. 12: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    You sound great.

    Hi Emoticon,
    Made any butt-wigglin vids lately?

    Goddess Lily,
    You still confused? I sure am!

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:25pm

  13. 13: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    Miss Stix,

    “…I never, ever feel “wrong” or bad about how I behaved or what I said when I think about it later.”

    Like. :-)

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:27pm

  14. 14: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    I’m starting to come around to ‘being myself’ after many months of full-on implementing of how I think the tools need to be implemented!

    Boy, does it feel relieving to allow my rough edges out to play!

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:29pm

  15. 15: EmoticonNo Gravatar says:

    Hey April Rose, i havent but i have been yearning to… maybe this week i will

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 5:47pm

  16. 16: Butterfly WingsNo Gravatar says:

    Hi everyone. Just popping in quickly before I have to go and do what one does on a Sunday…

    TH returns late tonight and for those of you not on Siren Island, he was begging me to not move on from him and let him talk to me first.

    I basically told him that I’m done. I need words and affection and if he can’t give me that, then maybe we’re just not meant for each other. I can’t live without that. I don’t want to.

    And thanks to NWG I was able to get my power back – I could see that there were other options out there, and I guess that came through in my vibe. TH was convinced I’d already moved on and met somebody else.

    NWG, while fun, is definitely NOT someone I could see myself moving on with. It was nice to lust after him a bit, but after being out with him on Friday night I’ve realised that choosing him over TH would be a lot like jumping out of the frypan and into the fire. Eeek! lol

    But in saying that, he WAS a complete gentleman and didn’t try anything that would’ve got me (or him!) into any trouble! haha!

    I feel happy right now, I feel unsure about what to do about TH, but am ok with just waiting and seeing what he has to say when he gets back.

    He’s asked me to pick him up tonight but I’ve not fully decided if I will yet…

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 6:27pm

  17. 17: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    BW – Feeling very impressed with your experience with NWG.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 6:32pm

  18. 18: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    P.S. I survived skydiving. I may NEVER do it again. I had a crappy instructor who spent all his time eating rather than giving me any instruction. No one told me how to breathe falling at 120 mph. I actually had no problem with the heights or the fear of dying falling from a plane. I had more of an issue just breathing. Had I not heard some other girl talking about her experience and how she had to breathe through her mouth, I might’ve passed out or thrown up…whichever came first. Any even then breathing through my mouth started to not be good enough. I felt so panicky and the best part is that I bought the video so now my panicking was captured on video… a hefty price. Also, jumping when its nearly winter was a bad idea. Oh well, it was an experience….and I’m a more interesting siren for it. 😉 That’s been my conversation piece all day.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 6:39pm

  19. 19: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Beautiful sirens, is just starting to pick up….I mean really pick up. I have been emailing back and forth with 5 guys all day. Two have asked for my number already. One talked about the five love languages. Ours are actually in the exact same order. I feel so excited (Insert excited squeal here) and a bit apprehensive and overwhelmed like what do I do with all this attention. And oddly, one guy is very tall and the first thing I thought was maybe I should pass him to my tall friend. Why would I get rid of a perfectly good man just because my friend is tall and has a harder time meeting people?

    Anyway, back to feeling giggly and girly….I like this! Enjoying the moment!

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 6:48pm

  20. 20: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i’m feeling desperate

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 6:57pm

  21. 21: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel bummed

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 6:58pm

  22. 22: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    Hello sirens how are you beautiful people

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:07pm

  23. 23: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    Daria why so down? Desperate?

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:10pm

  24. 24: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:15pm

  25. 25: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    feeling better

    a CD is gonna come see me and he’s skypinw me right now

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:21pm

  26. 26: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    R. N. amazing – thanks, i mighta been eating food not good for me and got triggered by people too

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:21pm

  27. 27: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess Lily – thanks! (((((Goddess Lily))))

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:22pm

  28. 28: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    Great that sounds good Daria Skype away haha

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:37pm

  29. 29: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    You know really I just must be too nice to people so tired of getting crapped on when I have good intention and good heart

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:44pm

  30. 30: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    I try to reach out but I am not going to be a doormat. I have my own problems we all have to deal with problems but at the end of the day we are all not that different. At the end of the day we all want happiness. Love and respect and live a great life with our family and those we love. We all the same thing but in our own way.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:50pm

  31. 31: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you Daria for doing that T-Tapp move and getting my heartrate up


    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:50pm

  32. 32: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    I think I might’ve talked away the interest of one of my new online CDs. Trying to not to put too much stock into it….but it’s hard. I’m taking it personal. He seemed to lose interest quickly. Or this is all in my head. Oh well, still learning.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 7:52pm

  33. 33: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Uh…yeah, or too much! Lol

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:03pm

  34. 34: Butterfly WingsNo Gravatar says:

    17 Goddess Lily – thank you – I’m liking it too! 😉

    And go you for the skydive! Wow! Even though it wasn’t the best experience, I admire your courage. :)

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:08pm

  35. 35: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    AR 7

    This looks like e xactly what I was saying in my post to BAB. Just different words. Different view. By experiencing (feeling) without “thinking” much of anything it IS surprisingly easy to open and really hear the other person. The thoughts of “what do I say???” disappear because you don’t really *have* to say anything.

    Becoming open to where he’s at through eperiencing (focus on your own feeling) rather than thinking.

    That’s my take. But I go a step further with even less focus on where he’s at. Because compassion is natural to me I choose to allow it to simply exist. I feel resistant to expand that part of me…It feels overwhelming enough already. I feel it, and let it show, but I no longer go overboard expressing it.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:11pm

  36. 36: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess lily

    Wow…Sounds exhilarating! :) Breathtaking 😉 har har

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:13pm

  37. 37: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess Lily – skydiving! That sounds so amazing. I wish I’d done that about ten years ago, when I felt like I really wanted to. I could do it now, too. But I have a feeling it won’t be the same. Because at the same time that I’ll get a big “rush” out of it, I’m sure I’ll feel overwhelmed by all the sensations, and exhausted after. So I’m kind of meh on the idea. But if it came up, I might try it. So thanks for posting – its good to know that about the breathing!

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:14pm

  38. 38: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I just read the post lol

    hmmmm I have never had an issue like this. I kind of see that we have very good communication in our relationship. I’m finding it difficult to relate to this post…

    I feel happy about that. I believe this means I am doing a great job of keeping my focus on my own feelings without diminishing his thoughts or feelings. My approach must be just exactly right for me and us.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:21pm

  39. 39: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I truly believe that actually experiencing and listening and hearing and speaking only when it feels right and coming fro
    an authentic place conveys empathy and understanding.

    If think…If it became necessary to verbalize the fact that I “hear” someone and “feel” them then I must not actually BE hearing them and feeling them. When you truly are present and experiencing and understanding it is written all over you. There won’t be a need to explain “Hey, I hear you and feel you…”.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:27pm

  40. 40: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you Daria for doing yummy EFT for me

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 8:31pm

  41. 41: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I hear that you are tired and that I’m arguing with you. I do that way too much and I can see how bothersome that is for you. I am truly sorry.

    omgosh feels so scary to say



    i feel sad

    i don’t know that i can handle ‘feeling blamed’ like that

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:06pm

  42. 42: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    Seems pointless to argue about something I have no memory of so I let go

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:13pm

  43. 43: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    One of biggest lessons in life was to learn to let go of control and the fear of the unknown which yes the unknown is still scary just not as consuming of me. I dunno I am tired of the fight…do we really have to fight for everything in life? Is that how this works like being a 32 year old female is new for me.ha

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:24pm

  44. 44: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    RN Amazing Me – no we don’t, but for me who thats what i’m used to, it feels challenging to keep on rememebering not to (fight)

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:28pm

  45. 45: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Wow, I felt answer #3. I would just add a feeling message because id honestly feel more than sorry.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:43pm

  46. 46: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    This siren has sexy thighs, I feel warm and silky like soft butter on a hot cob of corn . . . Yeah, like that

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:49pm

  47. 47: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    lol thanks Love Always i just said that one to my CD on the phone

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:50pm

  48. 48: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Fire does wonders for my feminine energy. I feel balanced but rising in power. That’s the phoenix siren in me rising

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:52pm

  49. 49: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Daria – cooooool! I love it girl!!

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:53pm

  50. 50: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Its a Saturday night and I don’t feel lonely! LOVE TO ME!! I feel strong on my own legs, yet vulnerable as all heck, I feel trimbly but solid on the inside, my breaths are deep and fulfilling and sustaining. I am, deep inside, okay. I listened to commitment blueprint since Friday and made it to step five. I can’t wait to get to the queen Esther experience. Its all good sirens, im just happy not to be in my pits for a consecutive bunch of hours

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 9:58pm

  51. 51: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I listen to music all the time everywhere, kind of like theme music for a sexy siren movie character . . . Not quite a super hero, not quite like a james bond girl, lol, like a female Austin powers, lol, shag baby, lol, I feel giggly

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:02pm

  52. 52: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Wow, im just opening up to all my feelings. These are not even moods anymore, just raw feelings

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:04pm

  53. 53: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    You can’t make a man want to be a better man
    you can inspire him but he has to DO SOMETHING. I feel frustrated and angry with men you don’t DO. For whatever reason. I realized that is one thing I always admired about cdarmy . . . He is a DOer to his very core. Serious masculine energy, and its from his core. That is why I expect men to naturally be DOers, because I spent years loving one. Im okay with this judgment because I real it is healed now, and I can move on in life, but I feel honest admitting I like that trait in men and it makes me feel turned on, safe and s3xy. I feel bad loving a man who does not DO. Huuuggggssss to me for embracing the true ugly feelings. And now im going to drop the thoughts and just float in my feelings

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:12pm

  54. 54: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    Re: response #3 I don’t think it’s making it all about him, to me my first thought was it sounds like reflective/active listening which most people are not naturally in tune with…including myself :-)

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:18pm

  55. 55: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    I feel this is good advice and I want to be a better active listener.

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:19pm

  56. 56: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    Hi sirens its great to read all your comments I feel uplifted

    I am reinventing my life dreams
    I still want the same things
    Maybe I just need to dare to ask for them…

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:31pm

  57. 57: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    Hmm i need to get back in practice with Roris tools like waterwheel and I’m all that… I’m going to practice at work tomorrow

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 10:41pm

  58. 58: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I am enjoying this peaceful time alone. I am actually thinking a bit, but feeling good. Actually, no, its that thoughts are popping up in my head like paths in the wizard of oz . . . That dazzling brick road leading to adventures and sorrows. I choose not to go down not one road. Not traverse one mental brick. No, this phoenix siren chooses to fly above it all and play in the wind where my feelings flow against ny outstretched wings. Dig the visual yall

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 11:46pm

  59. 59: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Feeling warmed and sure

    Saturday, 3 November 2012 @ 11:56pm

  60. 60: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Yes, I am sure in my heart
    I feel genuine
    I feel the truth rising in me like smoke
    This is his lose, not mine
    I am the powerful one
    Its feminine energy
    Its all I have
    This energy is all me and mine
    And I feel alive and breathing
    I feel the force of air in my lungs
    Cleansing me with the feeling
    Purging me with feeling
    Healing me with feeling
    Binding all these feeling into strength
    And the truth
    That this is indeed his loss
    And I can do nothing but lean back
    And step away into the light
    Leaving him in his own shadow
    I feel safe that his self imposed darkness
    Is beyond my control
    I feel the warmness of light
    I feel heavy
    I feel light
    I feel safe

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:14am

  61. 61: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Letting go in a different way
    In a siren way
    Feels open

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:17am

  62. 62: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Can’t put these feelings into a feeling message right now. I’m just embracing the emotional soup
    Flowing, not thinking anymore
    Just feeling and floating in my soup
    Be surprised
    Bring it universe
    I’m here
    I’m leaning way back
    And there is strength down in me
    from my vjj to my ears
    And I feel it good

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:22am

  63. 63: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Yes, im letting go of my heart grip and falling free into the wing like a dandelion blown on a precious desperate wish
    See me float up, out and away
    I feel fluffy and powdery

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:27am

  64. 64: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    Its late not sleeping on overnight schedule and I feel like just .. Bah

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:27am

  65. 65: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    Ok let’s be real I am being honest with myself and gonna vent. Yes I am not perfect but confident and insecure. I am corny and loving and too observant. Sometimes not observant enough. I am hard headed and heavy hearted. I am content and uneasy, afraid and fearless. I have trouble finding a middlground. I am one extreme to the next. I love helping others and caring but lazy. I want someone to love all of me but selfish in my way. I want the best for my kids but have a hard time being the role model. I want the spotlight but no one to look at me. I want to share my love but not sure how anymore. I am mad at myself for taking crumbs from time to time. I hate that I feel like giving up. I feel very grounded and grown..immature and old.young and free no worries…careless and regrets. Blessed and angry..i don’t want ur pitty I have enough of my own. I will never be who I once was good or bad. I am me learning acceptance and hoping for forgiveness

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:12am

  66. 66: ViNo Gravatar says:

    I feel amazed at my inner boy! Today he took me out for a dance class and waxing and did my nails :-) mmm I love this red! Feels so sexy and bright! I feel loved and taken care of!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:03am

  67. 67: ViNo Gravatar says:

    I feel squeezed to make a 5 sec gaze. and I feel amused to notice that and also my jaw feels tightened when I think about it…. and this squeezy feeling feels more like excitement actually hehe ..Yay!!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:09am

  68. 68: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i think CD is bisexual but or else a sign that makes him feminine – Scorpio – seen it before

    not used to having this sign close to me as a man

    i feel uncomfortable

    im gonna ask him if he’s bi i feel concerned he’s gonna be hurt

    oh yeah he’s a man he can handle it

    i feel – i have a fear of having a bi guy marry me and then leave or have man relationships on the under

    i suspect all my guys of bieng gay

    i find it hard to tolerate their female side… most of the time… or maybe i LOve it otherwise… not sure… i fele confused

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:30am

  69. 69: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    ok i asked him and he said he’s not bisexual

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:45am

  70. 70: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    My gaydar is broken it’s hard to tell anymore but I find nothing wrong with gay or bi people. To each is own but if I am not sure I ask a man. I figure u shouldn’t be ashamed. But I am just forward I guess but I would hate if I offended someone for it. I am feeling maybe I am insensitive in a lot of ways. It’s just my environment and how i was raised very forward rough around edges with a soft heart. Babbling..blah

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:50am

  71. 71: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    I miss looking in his eyes and feeling safe and loved.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:51am

  72. 72: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    I miss how he looked at me as if he knew me so much more than I knew myself. How I was feeling, love, hurt, sad, happy. He smiled and it meant something. he saw me to the core

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:52am

  73. 73: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    That is the best feeling in the world to feel that for someone. Scary and exciting, feeling the love they have for you without a word said. Knowing he doesn’t look at anyone the way he looks at you. You need no words or reassurance because his eyes speak his heart.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:58am

  74. 74: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    That feeling is what drives us all, i think in the end that is what we all want. It’s not just butterflies or lust it is that feeling that lasts forever no matter your with them or not. That is my idea of a soulmate.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:01am

  75. 75: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    when i was looking in his eyes it said ‘lizard, woman, strange long eyelashness’

    i feel unvomfortable

    im reading it as bi…

    actions are male enuf, in many ways very male but

    when i go still it seems female maybe..?

    im not used to scorpios is that what it is? i saw it in another scorpio hmm

    we so not on the same wavelength communication is so off and we are both practicing

    he wants to see me again tomorrow during the day

    he wants to skype and call and so much stuff


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:33am

  76. 76: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel good w him

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:34am

  77. 77: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:



    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:39am

  78. 78: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel silly, like a immature boy obsessed teen. 24 hours ago there were no men. Now although there are many, I’m already overthinking about what I did wrong with just one. This feels crappy. I think I started to think about him more because he said the magics words “wife and kids.” So now I feel like I’ve lost a good man….when in reality I don’t know this man at all. We could have absolutely no chemistry or nothing in common. Didn’t take long at all for me to create a fantasy out of a few words. He’s thinking of moving here for work from the other side of the country. It just started to feel easy….too easy maybe. It was much easier to feel goddess-y when there were no men around that I wanted.

    I can’t deny that I do want marriage and kids. And I can’t deny that I don’t want to have to have kids later in life….no matter how many women that works for, it’s not what I want. So how do I correct this immediate switch that I did from goddess to stereotypical woman of my age? I feel fear that my vibe will change again with the next guy who sounds remotely promising.

    Help sirens! What do you think? How do I correct this?

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:53am

  79. 79: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    All of my practices feel natural. I feel desires for something new to practice.

    Mmm I finally expressed confidently my writing as a hobby. Yes. Felt good. Felt like offering myself proper respect. Yum. Props to me! I probably write a combined total of 4 hours a day between journal and blog. Include the time spent reflecting and contemplating what to write and that brings it up to a full 8 hours a day during the week. I write more than I work, or photograph. There will be a moment when I shift this from hobby styles to career styles but I feel determined not to be determined in that and allow it to simply unfold into existance in it’s own time.

    For now, I feel curled up and content. I feel ahhhh and oh amazed to have this recognized and not feel judged as killing time.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:50am

  80. 80: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    It is 10 to 5 am and I don’t work till 7 but the time shift is effecting my sleep. Meaning…I can’t! Sigh.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:55am

  81. 81: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Sirens. Feeling sad. Mr. Conversation and I had a big fight yesterday. We aren’t talking now and he in friended me on Facebook. Yesterday I felt mostly irritated, but this morning I feel sad. Not sure we can work it out. I’ll miss him if we don’t. I will see him this afternoon at an event. Going to be hard and even embarrassing because we are always together at these events. People will notice.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:06am

  82. 82: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:08am

  83. 83: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:10am

  84. 84: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you miss stix. :(

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:36am

  85. 85: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:41am

  86. 86: coco kissesNo Gravatar says:

    Well my dearest sirens, I have officially filed for divorce. I felt very sad the first day. Sad and embarressed, and relieved all at the same time. After praying, leaning back, and waiting to see if my husband was going to step up, it became crystal clear that he was in fact NOT planning on working on the marriage. He started making excuse after excuse as to why he didn’t have time to come over and do the marriage programs. I told him that the excuses didn’t feel good, they felt bad, and painful, and that I wasn’t trying to control him or force him into doing something he didn’t want. From that day forward he stopped calling me and I haven’t heard from him since. My cell phone broke, so I emailed him that I was going to file for divorce. I got no reply. When my phone was working again I text him, hey did you get my email. His reply was “yep it is what it is”…..I’m not even anrgy about it. At this point I’m just trying to grasp the life lessons, search my soul, and get healing. I want to be a better woman.

    It is easy in a situation like this to wonder what is so unlovable about ME that my husband wanted to stop having sex with me(never really did), but I can’t do that. I believe that I am a very beautiful woman, with a full life. Being sexually rejected hurts from time to time, and I really am going to need to fully heal that area of my soul before I can be sexually intimate with another man. Thank you all for your loving words and support through this journey of letting go of an unhealthy relationship. ~ Coco

    Good news is that I have opened myself to talk to other men and that feels good, and sometimes scary, but there are a few interesting guys who seem to be interested in me.~ Coco

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 6:01am

  87. 87: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    We’re here for you! <3

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 6:04am

  88. 88: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    Turquoise, what happened?!? Things were feeling so solid with you two… I feel sad to hear this. :(

    Sending lots of hugs…

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 7:08am

  89. 89: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Went to a party tonight. Met a guy…he seemed interesting….he tookmy phone up and got my number…lol..awwr. I liked that..
    Also this other guy asked me for my number but I didnt give him it. I just didnt feel interested. I don’t feel like Cding….I want to date someone I like/feel into…I’m have conversations as a form of cding for now.

    I need to feel inspired.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 7:36am

  90. 90: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I miss CudG…Wow he is like a foggy blur right now.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 7:54am

  91. 91: UliiNo Gravatar says:

    @ Goddess Lily 18

    Wow!!! Skydiving! How impressive is that!!!! :) I get afraid & dizzy even jumping into the wanter from 3 m high (done it once only).

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 7:55am

  92. 92: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Still got ex on my brain! Hm, I’m actually enjoying remembering though.

    Had a lovely walk in the countryside. It’s been a busy weekend. I’ve focused on me and done no work which feels good.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:13am

  93. 93: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I feel a little grouchy…
    I feel rebellious…
    I feel like saying
    just does Not Work…

    It just drives men away…and then after the men are gone
    everyone is like “he just was not that into you”…
    Ok…whatever…Then whats the point of all this…Just wait for s guy thats’s supposedly really into you and can not be driven away?
    If that’s the criteria for a man – then None of these tools are necessary…
    I’m starting to feel like I’ve fallen into some femininity cult…

    I must voice these things…I must get this out there…
    I feel scared I upset sirens…but I’m re-evaluting and I feel a bit frustrated and unsure at the moment…

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:13am

  94. 94: SmileNo Gravatar says:



    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:13am

  95. 95: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess lily! Wow! I remember the thrill 13years ago doing this. I couldn’t do it now. Your very brave.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:15am

  96. 96: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I was really triggered by Example 3….I feel icky…I feel like – no no I don’t want a relationship like that…

    Sounds so Contrived…sounds insincere…
    sounds like 2 robots talking to each there…
    I feel so turned off…I don’t want Robot love!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:17am

  97. 97: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Heart, I hear you.

    Whilst I don’t have the relationship I want (yet) I feel like I’ve grown as a person exploring all this stuff.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:18am

  98. 98: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Smile – I agree…the inner work is great

    at the end of the day I would like to have the relationship I want too…

    ps…i feel asleep yesterday but when ur ex ekailed u after the holiday…what did u say?

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:22am

  99. 99: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Heart, Sometimes I think can I want too much? Is it unrealistic? Still exploring this one… I just want to feel happy.

    Ex asked if I’d had a nice time, so I told him I did. I didn’t mention about meeting up I thought he would ask in his next message but that never came. It’s been 2 months now.

    I have 3 exs, 2 of which I still have feelings for.

    I’m not looking for closure but I’m finding it hard still having attraction there.

    With my ex of 10 years I still speak to him but the attraction has faded. I’ve moved on.

    I don’t feel this way with my other 2 exs yet. In a small way I still wonder…

    I need to start dating and meet new men. I’m getting round to it but I need to make it a priority this week.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:30am

  100. 100: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    THis post has good advise. It takes practice to communicate like that. I have applied it to my life for years. I have found it defuses lots of potentially volitle situations. I grew up in a house of blamers and yellers. I hated it. I will make one statement on a deeper level. Communicating this way does not always represent my feelings underneath and that can present quite a problem. You can be calm on the outside and all flamed on the inside. So it wont work or you end up coming off like a real fake and a un settled mess on the inside.


    On my CDing front. I was asked out again by BoringCD. Wanted me to come to his house, watch a footballgame and have pizza. I just not manufacture the energy to do it. I really an NOT into football and was not hungry and really NOT into him. I gave myself permission to tell the truth. I told him I had decided to go home (had been with my Mom for her birthday by his house). I also said I appreciated his offer but I am really not into football and not even feeling hungry. There was a long silent pause… Oh, ok. So I went home and chilled. I felt good for being true to me.

    Later in the evening I got to emailing on the website with a man I feel mildly interested in. He called me and wanted to know if I would come out and meet him. It was late but I did. It felt fun to do something so spontaneous and was energizing. After meeting him I am not sure what to think. He is handsome, 4 years older than I, well-off, lives in a very expensive area of my city on the water, has the same core beliefs… but, there is something off. I did feel like there was a great potential for connection but it kept feeling like an “interview” ! I practiced listening, being honest. I had fun but my comfort level with him did not increase. He gave me a little peck goodbye and called me before I even reached home. We talked a bit more on the phone and went to bed at 1AM. I had a disturbing dream me being awakened by him coming into my bedroom and climbing into bed with me. I was NOT cool with him doing that in the dream and felt scared that he had found where I had lived and broken into my house when I had not even shared my last name personal email or where I lived. HMMM Something is off about him and my dream just confirmed it to me. I am going to let this gel in me and see what he has triggered and what the deal is with him. He focused alot on his unsatisfying intimate relationship he had with his wife for 22 years (I had one of those kind of marriages too) His conversation was too focused on it though and I feel my dream was a direct result of some red flags that I got when he was “oversharing”.

    Gotta love circular dating. How else would I learn this stuff about me otherwise.

    I even felt bold enough to ask if I passed his interview. HAHA Probably should not have said that outloud, but what the heck right? That is what I felt like he was doing. There was a connection but not emotional… just informational and fact finding.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:43am

  101. 101: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    I am growing into a better version of myself. I am more honest. Getting back to me and using some of these tools here has made that possible.

    I dont know or profess to be good at this stuff, I just feel more authentic and able to express that with the man infront of me.

    That is a good thing ! I would love to have a relationship, but right now I am focusing on me and the part I bring to one. I feel concern that I am NOT feeling chemistry with ANY of the men I am meeting. Even the ones I have felt attracted to in email and telephone conversation. I feel concern that I have a closed heart or wounds or I dont know what that is blocking attraction in person.

    I in some ways miss my last relationship man. Healthy or unhealthy feelings I dont know. Something is stuck. I have expressed my feelings to one of my daughters and my mom and they both say seem MAD at me. Imply that there is something wrong with me. That makes me feel stupid, and sad.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:04am

  102. 102: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    #99 – Smile – did u say u were happy to hear from him? At any rate…he’s not moving forward for his own reasons..I suppose but I can understand your feeling….seems a bit unresolved.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:15am

  103. 103: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Heart, yes he knows I would have loved to have had a drink. He said he wanted to stay in touch and did the initiating. Which is why I’m wondering. Yes it feels unresolved. Oh well I’ll keep riding on my horse.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:18am

  104. 104: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    Lately I have been letting my feelings Be; even the bad ones; I see the last less if I just let them be without making myself feel guilty for feeling in certain way. Lately I have had the feeling of disliking people, their “fakeness”, their hypocrisy etc. maybe I still have a bit of a control freak inside me and want to make people my way, who knows… Now I am feeling lonely, like I am green in a world of blue. Like there is noone else like me. I want to go on dates again, but noone asks me out and even when I am smiley and open, besides the regular hello, men don’t go further. I am resisting online dating, but the lack of approaches in the outside world is pushing me to be tempted to make another profile. I want someone unique, smart, one of a kind man… I want more than a body to warm my bed…

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:52am

  105. 105: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Smile I would ask myself why am I wondering? Is it because I have nothing else going on and was so invested? I have been reading and I believe in the moment he asked for the drink that was how he was feeling. That moment has since changed. So has his feelings and maybe you are living in the past?

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:53am

  106. 106: Janie BabyNo Gravatar says:

    hey sirens, can anyone help me with this?
    i’m struggling with the idea of remaining true to your feelings and being authentic about them, but then also the idea of letting go of anger in ar elationship and being open and warm when he comes back.
    How do i incorporate both?
    I want to be fun and open when he comes back but I feel angry that we don’t talk/see each other every single day because he wants some free time. How do i remain free and happy? i used feelingmessages about how i feel lonely but then i come off needy and always feels like i’m angry when i finally do see him throghout the week. don’t know what to do with these two ideas.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:02am

  107. 107: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    (((((((((Coco Kisses)))))))))). I feel your strength

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:06am

  108. 108: UliiNo Gravatar says:

    @81 Turquoise

    So sad to hear that!


    What was the fight about?

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:10am

  109. 109: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Turquoise I would look at what I said to him to see if I could have been disrespectfull in any way.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:14am

  110. 110: sunflowerNo Gravatar says:

    I am begining to feel tired with this new CD who has contacted me online, chatted on the ph. and ended the conversation with ‘let us meet for coffee this week’. Then I don’t hear from him till 2 weeks later. He gets back on text to say hi and check how I am, and then adds yet again- ‘this week we must meet for coffee”, saying he will call and fix”. And that was a week ago. I am sure he will call again, but I don’t know- I am not feeling good about these ‘up in the air date suggestions with no concreet plan. Doesn’t make me feel being treated like siren, And he has already done this twice. I want to express my feeling….but feeling clueless what to say, in an authentic feminine way? Any suggestions please? Thankyou..:)

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:17am

  111. 111: UliiNo Gravatar says:

    @ 86

    (((((Coco Kisses)))))

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:18am

  112. 112: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Hi FW, I saw him drive past me yesterday which made me wonder. Before that I hadn’t given him much thought.
    I do still have feelings for him though. He has a girlfriend now anyway, but it would have been nice for us to have met for the drink.

    My life is full of plans for me, in fact I need to plan in some more alone, me time. I’m feeling a little too busy.

    I’m working on my dating profile and strummingman man is still on the scene.

    I’m pretty sure once the weekend is done and I’m back at work tomorrow, I’ll be over my ‘pining’

    It has felt nice though and reminded me how I want to be treated in a lot of ways that strummingman never did.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:23am

  113. 113: sunflowerNo Gravatar says:

    Heart@93, I hear what you are saying, and it resonates with my own feeling of confsuion, and lost feeling if this really working beyond my inner growth.

    I find it more the case with older. mature men, who after a point- just don’t lean forward, they don’t chase, and also leanback – then go. And yes, one is left with he is ‘just not that into you’

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:28am

  114. 114: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    I’m feeling a little nervous about online dating but I think it’s an exciting nervous.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:37am

  115. 115: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    #113 Sunflower

    I have been experiencing the very same thing and have taken my profile down for the moment as I feel lost and confused.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:13am

  116. 116: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Janie – love Scripts had a part on this.

    Basically Rori had the woman say ‘I feel angry’ and still open her arms and allow herself to be hugged

    It’s taken me awhile to get that ‘closing off’ is not how anger is expressed (necessarily) and that I could feel angry yet stay open to the person’s affection.

    One way I do this in my family that’s been working for me is to pretend the person that truggered the anger is a whole different person, and do express myself and allow myself to be touched as if the person with me had nothing to do with it.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:27am

  117. 117: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    I love the unknown

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:28am

  118. 118: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Sunflower – awe here’s some hugs from me. ((((sunflower))))

    Your comment had me burst into laughter cuz I have not experienced that particular perception and it feels amusing to think how everyone projects on their particular trigger group. For example I may have said younger, experienced men don’t step up, etc. I feel reassured and am prepared to heal my perceptions.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:30am

  119. 119: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    No FW, not disrespectful. He was saying that I had no right to be upset about what he did because I wasn’t his wife. I wasn’t being difficult or demanding, but that regardless if I had the right to or not, I didn’t like this particular thing. He got mad and started right in with how he thinks I believe us hanging out is leading to marriage. I don’t think that and he was already really stressed about something else. I said the conversation wasn’t getting us anywhere, I won’t keep explaining myself, goodbye and hung up. He texted me that’s fine, and that was it. He didn’t come to the event today either, so no dealing with it.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:34am

  120. 120: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    1. Don’t TRY to forget him!

    2. Just put him on the back of your horse (I write a lot about riding your horse across the landscape of your life and believing it knows the way to your Happy Ever After…you’ve probably seen some posts or articles) – and ride off!

    3. Turn him into your “muse” – with lessons to give you and messages to deliver to you.

    4. Make him your assistant.

    5. Make him useful to you!

    6. And then – he’ll just fade, or fall off the horse – and FOR SURE – another man will show up and they you’ll forget you ever used to think about him so much – and still – he might never go away completely.

    A few of the men who were significant in my life still visit me in my dreams. I believe they’re there to remind me of things, to bring me gifts, to give me strength and insight…to help me.

    I let them help me.

    Just think of yourself as full of love for everyone and everything, and that you’re big enough to contain love even for him…and that’s the antidote to fear and pain around it.

    You can do this! Love, Rori

    Karen answered me back:

    “Okay, I feel that I can do this. Put him on the back of my horse and ride off. That feels okay. Make him my assistant, my muse. Okay. I will try this. I will continue with the tools and keeping myself open. I feel the tools are working, little by little.

    I smile at everyone and some days I am full of love. I actually have had men coming up and talking to me, a little, so that’s good, because that never happened before and I talk to everyone, so here’s hoping that if I continue to be open and feeling, Mr. Right will show up. If I continue to keep myself open.

    I still cry, Rori, some days are better than others. But, at least I am not stuffing my feelings down like I did before and pretending that everything is perfect and okay and being really nice and over functioning.

    If I feel tired, I’m tired and if I feel sad, well, I’m sad. Sometimes I feel that I am closing myself off and not being truthful and using the feeling words and messages, so I try and remember to use them with everyone and I have noticed a difference. So, again, I will keep at it.

    Okay, I will let you know what happens. Take care always. Karen”

    And I answered her simply:

    Crying is good.

    Now I’ll add a little to this:

    Forgetting is way overrated.

    The goal here is not to eliminate an attachment or a feeling so you can “move on” – but to move on REGARDLESS of the feelings and attachments!

    If we all waited until the path was clear and we could see what was up ahead and we felt good – we’d miss half the wonderful things life offers us.

    Sometimes good things show up when we feel lousy.

    Sometimes bad things show up when we feel good.

    The only thing you need to be is where you are, and how you feel, and aware of what’s going on for you as best you can.

    We’re not ever feeling only one thing at a time.

    We’re always in a place where we have access to our whole range of feelings – we can appreciate a hummingbird and smile at the very moment we’re pining over a man.

    We can love our dog or cat or bird or fish or mouse in the very moment we feel broken by hurt.

    An entire evening with a new Circular Date you may not be “interested” in or attracted to ( perhaps not attracted only in your old pattern ways…) may not feel altogether great – but there were moments where you learned something, or tried a Tool and it worked and made you feel good, or saw a movie you really, really liked, or ate a good meal, or felt yourself be totally present and if you let yourself, you might have been amazed at how great and powerful that felt – and that may be WAY enough to call that evening “LIVING.”

    And living way beats trying to beat away the bad feelings or the memories, or anything else.

    Just let things come and go – and see if you can keep the vision in your head of moving forward – always – no matter how it may seem to you.

    Sometimes moving forward looks like scooting sideways. Don’t be the judge of things…be the liver of your life.

    Love, Rori

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:34am

  121. 121: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Sunflower – personally I wouldn’t say anything to up in the air CD , maybe stop answering him until I really happened to have open feeling energy, just let it float in the breeze, in a okay if it happens I feel open to it thinking way, and keep on staying w my attention on what is, who else is contacting me, and putting myself out there to be seen by lots of men, online and in person.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:35am

  122. 122: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Because when I’ve vented my frustration (rather than not answer or give attention and energy when I feel pist over not being asked), I kinda get this controlly furrow brow laser grip energy and it doesn’t feel good, it feels icky w men and it just doesn’t feel comfy and relaxed how I like to feel. It tenses me up inside and bums me to thinking about stuff that doesn’t feel good.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:38am

  123. 123: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Ulii, I actually got over the heights fear very quickly when I thought I wasn’t gonna make it to the ground conscious. Or throw up on my instructor…which quite honestly he might’ve deserved since he didn’t actually instruct.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:42am

  124. 124: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    120 – Smile,

    That’s the exact advice I needed earlier today.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:43am

  125. 125: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Beautiful, majestic, alluring sirens!

    I want to express once again how blessed I feel to have this community. Thank you all for being here and sharing your ups and downs and everything in between.

    Hugs to you all, especially those not having a such a good day.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:45am

  126. 126: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I wasn’t trippin bout astrology before, but I’ve been only w certain signs.

    Leo’s capricorns Aries and cancers

    cancer I think is the only fem one there – and i got my heart broken w them

    Well thus Scorpio thing wow, it’s really drawing my attention to how my masculine characteristics must stand out the way his fem ones do to me

    What do I do I feel scared

    I feel scared to let someone touch me sexually that I see as a woman in some ways


    This is really challenging for me

    I feel a bit icky scared

    I also feel so loved abd touched and good and taken care of

    I could push this away

    In just gona babystep to remaining open


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:46am

  127. 127: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess lily 124 

    I love roris post directory.

    I’m finding lots of useful stuff in here all the time.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:52am

  128. 128: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I’m afraid I will stop being guarded and allow myself to accept his quirks like the feminine eye batting and then bow!

    I will feel embarassed when someone else says something or

    I will be cheated on cuz he’s bisexual or

    He will turn out to be a child molester


    This is really hard for me

    I feel sad

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:54am

  129. 129: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel so triggered to terror

    I want to rush my opening up so I don’t lose him

    I want to run away so I don’t deal with it


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:02pm

  130. 130: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    I’m feeling relaxed and at ease.
    I’m shifting my work stress. I feel great about this.
    I want to work to live not live to work.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:15pm

  131. 131: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Uff now the CD I talked to on the phone sounded gay and/or unattracted a bit, I felt concerned I was bring judged and evaluated eek pfff

    So triggered

    I feel afraid!!!!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:21pm

  132. 132: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Should I love a guy that seems girls to me – open up to him?

    Isn’t that a red flag?

    They all seem girly to me



    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:22pm

  133. 133: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t want to deal w this I feel like I mite throw up


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:23pm

  134. 134: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    More CDs are comin out the woodwork now

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:27pm

  135. 135: MelNo Gravatar says:

    @ Heart, Sunflower

    You want men to “poof.” Really, you do. Because, that means that they are opting out for your benefit. They are good men that know that they can’t give you what you really want. They are good men that don’t want to lead you on. Being with such a remarkable, grounded, feminine, confident siren has made them realize that they are not ready.

    A lot of men mysteriously disappeared on me. One of them became my friend and gave me lots of interesting insight. He thought I was super cute, pretty, smart, felt attracted… but because he could sense that I was in completely different place and knew he couldn’t be the man I needed, he thought it best to keep things friendly.

    Think of it as these men doing you a favor. Leaving room for the man that you really want… and being good practice for you along the way. :)

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:29pm

  136. 136: MelNo Gravatar says:


    It feels to me like maybe a trigger for him? Whatever happened, he attached to you something that used to occur in the past….

    This is HIS stuff.

    Give him space.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:33pm

  137. 137: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Turquoise I guess that was his little boy throwing a tantrum. He might be back and if he does I would remain open but not take him back right away. I would hazard a guess though that he felt disrespected. Men prefer loneliness rather than open themselves to disrespect.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:52pm

  138. 138: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Just felt another mental push in myself to online date.

    I can do this
    I can do this
    I can do this

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 12:56pm

  139. 139: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    RN AmazingNurse @ 65

    I like what you expressed here.

    I can totally relate.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:06pm

  140. 140: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I guess that could be it, but I feel it’s more that he doesn’t want to feel controlled or told what to do. It was about his exwife. While I understand they have to spend time together, it was a lot of time and he said he’d told her that when he has a girlfriend, that would change. I said that I understand it, but don’t like it either and he got all defensive about how I had no right to be upset about anything he does. This was last week. I didn’t get mad or give him a hard time… But it doesn’t feel good that sometimes it feels he chooses to spend time with her, when he could be with me. I get it. They have a baby, she has no one at all here except him, And she works for him, i get all that. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. He’d hate it if roles were reversed, and he isn’t my husband, so how is that different?

    Regardless, the truth is, I don’t want to be just friends, and he doesn’t want the commitment I want. Maybe better this happens now. Going to be hard though. Our girls really are best friends and will want to see each other. We will have to communicate. I miss him already. He added a lot of life, to mine.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:20pm

  141. 141: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    And I wasn’t telling him what to do or not to see her, but that even though I’m not his girlfriend, I don’t like it either. I was agreeing with his point. I don’t feel I was wrong to share how that made me feel. He was really really mad at her about something else, was stressing. I was honest and he just didn’t want to hear it. I don’t know what I’ll say if I do hear from him.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:25pm

  142. 142: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I did good with telling myself a good story rather than think the worst. When he unfriended me yesterday, I first felt really bad, but then I turned it around and said…. Oh poor mr. C. Would be too sad to read my status updates and doesn’t want to be reminded of me, so he’s just protecting himself. Probably not that. He was mad and reacted. But made me feel better to think about it that way.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:36pm

  143. 143: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    hmm i feel triggred that i may have ran away/put a wall up on my sexuality last nite


    thats triggered by the CD not contacting me today when he said he would like to see me – when i said im available only during the day nto evening –


    a bit

    and i am aware


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:49pm

  144. 144: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    also he was thrusting his body towards me but I couldn’t feel his dick so i was constantly triggered that he’s just acting and is actually not turned on by me cuz he’s gay

    and this is what he does to hide it


    well i want to heal all this

    i feel terrified

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:51pm

  145. 145: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    he seems good at touching but does not seem to know how to ‘read’ ‘touch’ Me

    which a lot of men instincitvely pick up on…

    feels so confusing to me

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:55pm

  146. 146: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    if i declare im amazing without outside validation, i will look like a fool and get made fun of and feel shocked the way people ridicule people who think they’re awesome and others don’t

    heal heal heal

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 1:56pm

  147. 147: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im getting to deeper and deeper levels of my being


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:08pm

  148. 148: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    joy is not escapism and dangerous and bad

    joy is ‘productive’ and good

    when i feel joy, i can still heal the world while im doing that

    not forget, but instead in joy i will continue to do big mountain things and healing and sharing and being generous and amazing and powerful

    i can be powerful while im joyous

    i can feel powerful while im joyous

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:25pm

  149. 149: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im feeling great with this EFT you’re doing for me Daria :)

    thank you ! i feel like a rose bud blooming!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:37pm

  150. 150: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    A terrible tragedy happened at our zoo today. A 3 year old boy fell into the painted dog exhibit and was mauled to death. I feel so sad and sick to my core, thinking about his family and their loss. I don’t know that I could survive it. A good friend lost one of her best friends to cancer yesterday. No matter how sad or frustrating my love life may be….. There are so many worse things happening. It helps me keep things in perspective. It makes me want to hold my loved ones closer, and for everything to be ok with Mr. C. But grateful for all the good in my life.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 2:48pm

  151. 151: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Thank you for the reminder smile.

    Something about this post I can’t put my finger on…The content, I grasped long ago. It’s the tone. I needed the tone of that piece today.


    I believe my pice of why this showed up today is to remember to feel blessed with all the little things.

    I just thought yesterday how much I needed a new practice. Here it is!

    Thank you!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:12pm

  152. 152: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    aww he contacted me

    and i just saw it after another man’s message

    they both called me ‘beauty’

    aww :)

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:39pm

  153. 153: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    Feel so sad to hear about the zoo. Turquoise.

    Re unfriending and facebook
    Rori had a thread on it and a post about a man doing this.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 3:57pm

  154. 154: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    “Unfriending you is about the stupidest, most immature, unmanly thing a guy can do. Drop him!!!

    Sincerely, Rori Raye”

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:00pm

  155. 155: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    “And something else Rori wrote.
    if a man friends you, for whatever reason and then unfriends you, that’s it. Over, done. If you’re longtime “friends” and you care about him, you can ask him about it…but to me, it’s done. I personally consider that a very violent act on his part, and very different from your careful reasoning…Men are not women, to me. If a man walks away – he’s walked away. He’s not be be chased, not to be missed. Very different from what I see a man doing should a woman walk away because the man hasn’t shown sufficient interest. That’s my view, at least.”

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:03pm

  156. 156: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    how to go back to online dating and just enjoy it, despite meeting some jerks in the process?

    Jut thinking…

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:04pm

  157. 157: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    how to go back to online dating and just enjoy it, despite meeting some jerks in the process?

    Jut thinking…

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:04pm

  158. 158: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    Here is the link Turquoise. If you want to read the whole thread.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:06pm

  159. 159: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    Luzydel 157.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:08pm

  160. 160: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    sorry wrong link. here is the link.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:11pm

  161. 161: UliiNo Gravatar says:

    @ 150

    I feel so sad about that zoo tragedy… Couldn´t imagine this pain the family must go through.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 4:22pm

  162. 162: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    I feel the need to process.
    I stated my feeling message about how it felt better to me to make my own individual choice on what was best for my child rather than be told what to do and make the same choices on him on a matter saying that I respected his right to choice to what he thought was best for his child and posted a link with some info concerning my choice and why it felt the right choice for me to a man. And in response he was kind and thanked me and wished me well.
    I then felt irritated by a woman who chose to get involved making out I was over reacting and my choice was wrong. mmm.
    And three others joined in.

    I felt goaded, irritated, censored. Dictated too. YUCK!
    I don’t want to be dictated to.
    I don’t want to be given selective information and told what to do in an authoritarian way.
    I feel angry when this happens.
    I want to be given all the information not given selective bits and then told what to do.
    I want to make an informed choice on what is best for my individual child. I felt manipulated and expected to go along and be a sheep and felt punished by covertly being told to be quiet with sarcastic comments taking the peeeee to stop expressing myself for being aware that I was not really being given all of the information. I expressed that although the pee taking felt amusing which it did, I did see the funny side of it and for them to feel free to carry on that no amount of peee taking changed the facts and salient points.
    They can do what they like, I just don’t want to do the same.
    They were very angry at me.

    Here we go again.
    Something else that reminds me of my parents.
    Authoritarian parents.
    It felt good not to lose my cool.
    It feels easy to stand my ground one to one.
    Not so easy when it is two to one.
    Three to one etc.
    It does not feel easy to go against the crowd.
    I don’t fit in.
    I am sometimes able to pretend.
    I don’t want to pretend.
    When I don’t pretend I alienate myself.
    I feel a bit sad at this realization.
    I don’t belong.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:19pm

  163. 163: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    I am a loner.
    Selective company feels good for short periods of time.
    It feels draining after a while.
    It’s ok to be a loner.
    It feels better to be a loner than pretend and feel uncomfortable with people I don’t fit in with.
    I like lots of alone time.
    And short periods of company that feel good to me.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:25pm

  164. 164: AnnieNo Gravatar says:

    That feels a bit scary now reading I am a loner.
    Do we shape out reality by whatever we put after I am?
    It feels best to accept what I am even if a little scary.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:27pm

  165. 165: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks Annie. I’m going to read it now!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:34pm

  166. 166: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im feeling lonely!

    also, hungry


    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:48pm

  167. 167: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    That was good for me to read. We had an argument and that was his reaction… So not exactly like the other situation, with no warning. It was immature though, and to me…. He knows that would hurt me, and I’m taking it as a clear sign that he felt mad or frustrated enough, to not care what the reprocussion could be. He’s very emotional and talkative person. I did end the conversation and hung up without waiting for his response, so wasn’t my best mature self either.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 5:52pm

  168. 168: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Self talk-Pep talk

    This is what this is about. You! This is not about any him or her or them. This is about grabbing onto life and taking hold of the sheer experience of it.
    This isn’t about always feeling happy. Being happy. Being perfect. Feeling perfect. Always doing everything “right”. No. This is about feeling. Being. Existing in a place in time and the universe centered within your own body. Existing there means feeling what comes with experiencing, and opening up to life. Absorbing life. Imprinting it on your soul where it will exist forever, transcending time and space and the physical. This is it. The vast abundance of drinking in every nuance and really feeling it. Infusing every fibre of your body with love for these feelings and emanating this love. Pulsing with life. There is infinite expansion within you. This is who you are. Just imagine! Just feel this for a minute. Shit. Feels incredible!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 7:55pm

  169. 169: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Kind of feels quiet around here lately…

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 8:26pm

  170. 170: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I feel lost
    I feel sad
    Leaning back does not feel like enough
    Now I’m stepping back
    I can’t cry anymore

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:00pm

  171. 171: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I feel deeply hurt
    I’m speechless sirens
    his intention was always to leave

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:02pm

  172. 172: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    crying is good but I decided I cry for me not for him just feels better everyone needs a good cry =)

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:02pm

  173. 173: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    vulnerability abused?
    side swiped?
    just friggin wrong!
    I feel hardend

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:03pm

  174. 174: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I feel embarrassed much

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:04pm

  175. 175: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    crying is involuntary these days for me, and I’m nearly all cried out. I have a headache from it now

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:06pm

  176. 176: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I feel alone
    I am clearly abandoned
    that hurts
    I feel achy
    I feel almost numb
    I am in my pits, deep deep pits
    He literally jumped the h3ll off my bridge as I watched
    I can’t believe I’m experiencing this sh^t

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:09pm

  177. 177: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Another night in the pits

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:11pm

  178. 178: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    poor choice in men

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:12pm

  179. 179: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Okay, I’m starting to beat myself up, so I’m going to bed now. Good night sirens

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:12pm

  180. 180: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I can’t go another day with out sex this is enough. Im feeling hurt and I don’t get it.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 9:13pm

  181. 181: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Aw, LoveAlways. Sounds like you are a little bit heartbroken. I am going to imagine pink pillows like cotton candy all around your heart. Comfy softness that is also sweet. Patches over the wounds that will heal. Hope you feel better in the morning….

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:25pm

  182. 182: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Just a little check-in ladies!

    Well, after my bit of a guyatus, I’ve suddenly run into/attracted some new guys. All new guys! Fresh material! lol Or to put it another way: out with the Old and in with the New.

    Yes, I’ve got my “three.”

    I’ve forgotten what it was like to only ever have on prospect. That’s a good thing, right??

    So, to follow up from the last thread, there was some talk about lowering expectations, or rather, releasing them without lowering them. Conundrum, right? And I was feeling like I was having some trouble with this. And then I had an idea.

    I was asking myself to do too much. To go from 0 to 60 (where 0 is me having a lot of unconscious expectations, and 60 is me being able to release them all) instantly was just daunting, if not impossible.

    So I decided the best first step for me was to just RECOGNIZE to myself, and acknowledge when I noticed that I had an expectation. And especially if I got attached to it. Not even to the outcome, just to the expectation itself.

    It’s been eye-opening, and quite relieving. Suddenly, when I was able to step back and Look at It, I could see it, without getting caught up in it. I swear, it’s done wonders! I feel more relaxed, and at ease.

    It’s still somewhat challenging. Just tonight, I got a chance to practice it. And I didn’t love the feeling of releasing my expectation. But in a way, I did. It took the pressure off of me, too. I didn’t have to be the one to “police” the situation, and make sure things went according to plan. Less work for me! Ha! And I still got plenty of attention. Even if it wasn’t what I had on my mind…

    And speaking of relaxed, I am also taking flower essences. I got some, kind of as an impulse buy – but it was really calling to me. This one flower essence stood out among the others, and when I looked it up, it turned out it was for relieving anxiety. Since that’s an issue that I have, inherited from my mother, I decided why not try it? It won’t hurt, and maybe it will have some nice effect.

    I figure the best thing I can do for myself and everybody is to be and feel as relaxed as possible. It’s an ongoing process. I’m still working on it. :-)

    Y’all are helpful, too! Writing on the blog always helps me feel relaxed : )

    Happy Daylight Saving time change!

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 10:42pm

  183. 183: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Ive woken up feeling anxious about the future. My tummy feels all jittery. I feel like stepping away from my past.
    I want to just be in the here and now.
    I feel a bit sick. The uncertainty makes me feel sick.

    What have I done wrong feeling just hit me.
    Slathering on the love today.

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:01pm

  184. 184: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    #135 Mel

    I know your post wasn’t for me, but thank you, you have given me a way of seeing something from a different angle. :)

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:41pm

  185. 185: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    No Name CD contacted me to say he’s sorry for not having been in contact, that he’s very sick and am i feeling ok

    well i feel great actually

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:58pm

  186. 186: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i really miss that new CD i spent 2 whole long dates with


    i miss him

    the one i was worried was bisexual lol

    Sunday, 4 November 2012 @ 11:58pm

  187. 187: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    your stories are all so inspiring buy also help eachother help deal and learn from eachother because we all go through these obstacles but we are not alone!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:02am

  188. 188: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    we cant make a man love us or convince him we are amazing if he doesn’t see it then he is not the one,one mans loss is anothers treasure. But you have to value yourself first and foremost your self worth is far more key then what someone else who may not even know you, may think they know you…bottom line if you don’t care niether will he. There is nothing more attractive than a man or woman with a strong mind, confidence and good heart. just harder to find these days.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:07am

  189. 189: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I’m sorry pussy

    Thanks for reminding me

    Yes we will def say something and do something to have you more aroused before sex

    No this is not good enough

    Right on for reminding me

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:53am

  190. 190: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    The key for me and where my mind seems to wander and often spin its wheels (unfortunately) is on a relationship , man and time in my life where I was not valued, treasured, or considered amazing. I dont like the fact that it goes there. That I think about him, wish it was different. Does that mean that I dont love,treasure,value myself? Kinda feels like if I did then I would not even give his thought a place in my time today. I gotta stop

    THen there is the issue of me just not feeling any physical attraction to ANY of the men that I have met this summer and fall. Thats 8 men in person and several more chatting or emailing.. nothin! Something wrong with me?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 3:24am

  191. 191: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    RN AmazingMe, again, what you just wrote totally speaks to me.

    I feel like we are in the same situation.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 4:05am

  192. 192: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I feel sad this morning. My heart hurts for lack of intamicy. No just sexual intamicy. I have been given lots of time affection and snuggles this weekend and it felt great. But when a carrot is dangled in front of me and then withdrawn even tho I may ask or hint at wanting it.. Hurts like hell. My eyes are soar from tears and my body feels numb.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:03am

  193. 193: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Expectations… Is it really a bad thing to expect the same sexual appetite from my man, that he has always had? Am I being selfish? Is it wrong to have expectations in this area? Am I still focusing too much on him? My body achs and my heart can’t feel anything but lack and wonder..

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:06am

  194. 194: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    188 & 190 –

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:08am

  195. 195: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    188 &190 –

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:09am

  196. 196: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    sorry silly phone post.

    I have totally lived in the land that RN is talking about.
    Thinking and wishing he had feels like I am putting myself down and agreeing with him. Hurts my own self esteem.

    BAB – honey I have lived in the land of no sex but add in no physical attention at all. No snuggles unless I initiated it… It gets old really quick. I used to cry myself to sleep when I was married. Had a relationship when he would not be tired and stay up watching TV but then slept on the couch 90 % of the time. I will never endure either one of those things again! NEVER. I know that pain.. and it feels like rejection. There are all kinds of issues around our sexuality… I finally talked about it, which was hard because I felt undesired… and was afraid that was what the issue was… and low and behold it was! That made me cry even more.

    I have not recovered from that pain. But have made a promise to myself that I will NOT tolerate it in my life ever again! Just waiting for the man the I want to be with. That is becoming the difficult part.

    Hugs to you BAB

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:17am

  197. 197: forest sirenNo Gravatar says:

    For the past few months I’ve been focusing on rebalancing the energy exchange between Lionman and me and in fact between me and the world. I was definitely such a giver and miss stix what you wrote about how in control you felt giving and that’s what a man wants to feel helped me enormously.

    Also smile the Rori Raye definitions you posted helped me about the energy bubble and rebalancing it. At first it felt like an oil tanker that we couldn’t change it’s direction but slowly but surely we have. His energy comes towards me now and other mens too. I am receiving lots of compliments from men and now I accept them instead of brushing them off. I feel less exhausted because I am not giving out so much.

    I have noticed about myself that I rarely ask Lionman questions now, the what are you doing, where are you going type but instead share about myself. I was never the prying type but I was raised to believe it is selfish to be talking about oneself but the results are undeniable. It’s like he feels more open and willing to share when I’m not asking.

    When I have no expectations he gives more. Right now I’m working on how I set myself up to fail. When I do lean forward and ask for something (the thing I always ask for is more of his time) it feels bad, he leaves me hanging or doesn’t respond and then I get angry and frustrated. But because it’s happening less frequently I can see that really clearly and can remind myself that does not work in our dynamic. This man wants to be in control and in charge and when I take over fearing that if I don’t make it happen it won’t happen it backfires on me. It’s a leap of faith for me to really hand over this and let him lead but oh it is so much more fun this way!

    Daria i wish there was a like button for your 189 post. You are so brave posting stuff like that and it makes me think in a different way about so many things. I feel like I’m starting to get all this and it’s so much fun.

    I would love to hear from other sirens specific ways in which they show their men respect. I have a habit of contradicting my man. Not over huge things just little things but the cumulative effect has been that he feels pushed away and gets stubborn and polarized. I have a strong personality as does he so I feel almost morally obliged to point out things like well why don’t you see it this way which overall contributes to him feeling wrong and me being right. I much prefer feeling soooo connected to him and feeling so impressed by the awesome fearless things he does. (((Lionman)))

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:34am

  198. 198: BABNo Gravatar says:

    My mind can’t grasp anything that’s being said to me right now.. Iam embarrassed to say I don’t get any of it.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:40am

  199. 199: DominiqueNo Gravatar says:

    forest siren – 197 – yes, yes, yes – happy dance!!!!

    feeling so proud of you.

    as for respect, I don’t really know what this means. for me there is only love. the example you cite is you having a desire to be right. most of us have this desire. so instead you catch yourself when you are doing this, mid-sentence if you have to, and you listen to him. just listen. he may have his ideas or his ways which may differ from yours sometimes, and this is okay. celebrate and embrace the differences.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:43am

  200. 200: R.N.AmazingMeNo Gravatar says:

    @191 that makes me feel good! That maybe someone can share what I feel I am going through! It’s a great way to find ways to cope with different things. If you ever want to talk, I am here. Share away how do you feel? What is your situation?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:44am

  201. 201: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    BAB, Linda

    I have been there too. And I remember the feeling too well. We had lots of sex in the beginning of our relationship…But then he spent a year.. Actually honestly more like 2 years… suffering from panic disorder, and overcoming it naturally. After that I could count the number of times we had sex in a year on one hand. 4 years I spent in that place. He had such a valid reason…His body was depleted. Tired. Stressed. Which made it worse. His valid reason felt like slamming into a brick wall. Blocking my desperate need for intimacy. What could I do? What could I say? I only said something once (until after he was cheating) And I have an urge to laugh out loud and violently now because he ended up being the one to have an affair. And I don’t want to freak anyone out but that was my truth. For a very long time. I’m not surprised I already felt resentment towards him when we got married. People with no steady partner at all had more sex than I did.

    Blah. Now I don’t want to talk about that.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:59am

  202. 202: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Now I can use my hand to count the number of times I have sex in a week. In a day-on the weekend, and some days I need every finger. Go me!

    F@ck. That last post still has me feeling bitter. Doesn’t feel happy to revisit and my sexual abundance now actually doesn’t make it “better”. pffffffft.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:02am

  203. 203: BABNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix- Thank you for your posts! Although I feel a total block in getting them right now, it feels so wonderful to get a response from you, I feel understood and not so entirely alone.
    I want to understand..


    I feel a lot of resentment being triggered in me by this post. I interpret it as I am going to fail and what we are is determined to end.. My heart breaks thinking like this.
    But I thank you anyways for helping me feel these triggers. I truly FEEL them and that’s comforting to me.
    Also for feeling compassion towards me, it is greatly comforting and appreciated!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:07am

  204. 204: forest sirenNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Dominique! I feel blushing and proud of myself! I look back at all my past relationships well not that many about three or four and see how I was so in giving mode and it did not work at all. And I feel so grateful that Lionman is who he is I had to find another way thank goodness for Rori Raye and I feel humbled that he stayed with me all this time through all my mistakes and making him feel bad and less than. It takes two to tango the mistakes were not all mine but it blows me away that after all this time we are so connected I think we might have the real thing.

    I feel scared to say that in case I jinx it or mess it up. I’m really wanting to stay on this path and commit to me. That’s why I loved Daria’s post – committing to my pleasure and comfort has been revolutionary! I am familiar with 12 step programs and co dependency etc but this Rori Raye way has given me really good results and changed my thinking. It was like the next level for me.

    And yes I see what you are saying about wanting to be right. I really struggle with this one. I don’t care per se if I am right or not but I have some weird moral thing about being truthful and not going along with things just to agree with them. But there is a time and a place for this and I think I could drop about 90% of it. I was also raised in a house where I was encouraged to be politically minded and an independent thinker and to debate religion and politics with the men (I have all brothers) but that does not give me the closeness I crave. I think just listening is a good way to start with this and just stopping mid sentence when I am in that no I am right mode.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:21am

  205. 205: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    RE 150 OMG Turq. How absolutely horrendous. I can’t imagine if I was that child’s mother or guardian at that zoo with him.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:29am

  206. 206: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    It is ok if you don’t get it. Those moments of not getting it have their own importance. I have felt them well myself. They serve me in remembering them and thinking “wow, I do get it now” and solidifying what i’ve learned.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:38am

  207. 207: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I have been saying things that haven’t felt completely genuine. Trying to show my appreciation for all that he does for me. no wonder he doesn’t always hear me. Am I harboring negative feelings surrounding this?
    Yes, maybe..
    My voice feels funny when i praise him.
    I feel my heart lurch when I hear that funny voice of mine..
    Iam growing accustomed to showing my appreciation, I feel anxious ill do it wrong, causing it to sound unnatural.
    I feel pressure to do it right.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:40am

  208. 208: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Hmmm I do still have moments of “I don’t get it” but they are different now.

    Take the topic post of this thread for example….I say “I don’t get it” because I am beyond that. I don’t relate to it because I don’t have the problem it is addressing. Therefore, taking that man’s advice would not serve me. And the man would probably look at me like i’d lost something if I spoke to him in that way. I can totally picture the furrowed, confused brow and the eyes rolling up to his right and the words “uhhh…ok?”.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:42am

  209. 209: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I get defensive when he expects me to buy things for him( little trinkets at the store) I feel taken advantage of, taken for granted. Dismissed. Yet I do the vary same thing to him, and when Iam denied it, I feel dismissed taken for grande.. Humm coincidence? I think not. I feel I have so healing to do.
    I want to heal this! I want to feel secure in this.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:47am

  210. 210: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    No. Speaking to him that way would not be productive. He is too used to the way I communicate now. My saying “ok” “ok” “ok” as I let him speak and take it in, followed by the expression of what I feel followed by his fixing it all and reassuring me. Sometimes it takes him an hour or a day but I can always count on hearing “It’s ok…” and hugs and reassurances. Apologies even, and my favourite “are we good now?” and my words “mm hmm thank you baby, we’re good.”

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:48am

  211. 211: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t want to give advice to BAB because I see me in her and her words resonate so much with me. I have urges to give advice but I don’t really want to because I have faith that this will come together for her in a way that serves her just like it did for me. And I know just how important it was, to me, to do it my own way and drink the confidence brew that. came from steeping myself in “my own way.”.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:55am

  212. 212: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:


    Thank you for the cotton candy pillows :)

    His truths keep breaking my heart with each new one. But I do feel better this morning, just numb.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:57am

  213. 213: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Today Iam going to practice listening to others and feeling instead of thinking. Today thinking feels like too much and not good enough.. I feel happy in this decision..

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:58am

  214. 214: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    ATT: I feel very guarded giving a fake name. I’d feel so much better if you all could know my real name. (Rebekah)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:00am

  215. 215: sunshineNo Gravatar says:

    I have been diligentl working on being my authentic, feeling self infront of the guy Im dating. Whats happening is that sometimes I feel embarrassed, because he sees who I am and what I really am feeling and thinking. Whats happening is that he also sees parts of me that im just now discovering or seeing clearer…mostly that Im indecisive, confused, and sometimes Im really into him and sometimes I dont feel all that attracted to him. The point is that hes is seeing in me all the mess that I feel, insecurities and confusion. I feel embarrassed that this means he wont feel compelled to want to continue with me. On the other hand, I also feel that this is what created our intimacy and the reason he likes me so much. Maybe it all boils down to fear on my part because I feel afraid that the more he sees the bad parts along with the good parts, he wont stick aroound. I feel sad and worried

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:03am

  216. 216: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I have a frugal man in my life. Oh, so fricken frugal!!! But having married a spender I know how important that is. For real. So I had to find a way to be ok with his frugality, and at the same time feel treated and treasured and NOT spend a ton of money on him. To not say “it’s ok I got it.” because I spent a lot of years being like that and it comes easy to me. Although it feels irritating. I would still do it. I still have times where this blog and the rori way trigger feelings in me of not getting enough from him.

    I have to look at “treated” and “treasured” and “worshipped” in a different way than some others. I have to see a cup of coffee as a beautiful gift, or a take out meal as a magnificent gesture of love. haha Gas money is priceless, and when he throws a 20 bill my way for no reason? he might as well be showering me with diamonds and sapphires. 😉 Even to recieve these things I had to first believe I deserved them. Second, let go of any guilt for taking them. Third, realize it’s ok to give back with only “thank you’s” and “WOW baby! You spoil me.” ans smiles and kisses or “I feel amazing. You’re so good to me”. And sometimes giving back is cooking us a meal. Or giving him a ride. Or giving only because it feels truly great to me in that moment. But never when it feels wrong in any way.

    Giving back is so important. It means I get to give without overfunctioning. I get to give without feeling irritated or taken advantage of. I get to give back! Hooray!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:08am

  217. 217: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Ladies!
    Long time no speak.
    I was MIA for the weekend on some rich man’s yacht. No dating, just a friendly thing. Did a contest on Sat and boating on Sunday. Sunday was a triggerfest, as it was what I used to do only with MrP, and this time on a huge yacht (same places, many many memories)….the huge yacht didn’t impress me. I like small boats. I felt like a fish out of water with all these professional, wealthy people.
    They were very very nice but I could detect an air of arrogance, and hostility as they were mainly rich man’s lady friends and one was clearly a little jealous. They are all about 15 years older than me, and she just blurted out on the yacht: so how old ARE you? As if I had some kind of desease. The ‘young’ disease.
    People do this all the time and I find it rude now, and feel like a little child. I look young, but still. I would never go to someone and ask them that, especially as they all seem to have such a problem with age here, MrRich didn’t want to tell me his age either (usually the men have the big problem and I start to find this off putting and ridiculous, like who are you kidding…I thought he was 60 but turned out he is also 51, like everyone else I know!!). He might as well have told me, a bit pointless keeping it a secret when you actually look much older than you are. I feel amused.
    I told her my age and said that I get this all the time and feel fed up with people asking my age and feel like some kind of child when I am almost 40. She said she thought I was much younger. So what. Pfff.
    They were actually all very nice, but still a triggerfest as I was one of many…on a big yacht….that couldn’t go to all the nice places as it was too big. I couldn’t help but long for the fun times I had boating before, where I was not one of many but first officer, steered the boat, did stuff with the engines, got dirty, wet and jumped in and out of the water like a fishy….and laughed and laughed and laughed. And stopped where I wanted to. And was getting lots of attention :)
    It’s ok, I can let thise days go now…had the big triggerfest, all done.
    Boating is with other people, and other boats and other places and so on.

    I was also triggered badly because this guy is clearly very wealthy, but also very stingy and keeps talking about how expensive everything is. He got me a sandwich for lunch on the boat, and said someone is bringing him lunch (one of the fan club ladies)…so he picked out a sandwich for me at a store…and afterwards spent ages complaining about how expensive it was (a sandwich….for a guy with a yacht, who is retired at 51 and claerly has a lot of money), I was supremely turned off. Turns out that the lady did not bring him lunch, just bites for all to share….he then took my sandwich out of the fridge and said ‘do you mind if I eat this, as I am hungry?’. I was a little shocked, but I had to laugh and said: ‘oh, go ahead’…
    On Saturday they went to a very expensive restaurant, a little group…and he said to me ‘as I know you probably can’t afford this, I will take you out, but it’s not going to happen again’. Jeepers, I felt pretty bad, and I said that I can pay for myself no problem….but in the end three of the guys split the dinner and treated the ladies.
    How bizarre.
    I don’t mind treating my friends occasionally, and I have very little money…it always baffles me when people behave so strange.
    I guess he has all these women worship him and expected me to worship him also?
    No idea.
    Anyhow, I don’t want to sound negative because it was a nice weekend and the people were all very nice and everything, just those few cringey moments…
    I now know why I don’t want to date anymore per se, because I just end up missing what I had with someone else more and more as I see so much strange stuff and really realise there aren’t many people I am on a wavelength with, guess it also has to do with background, and in which type of family/economical background one has grown up in.
    Those are things that impact on people….and I just feel uncomfortable with people too far out of my comfort zone, I guess.
    All good.
    Hope you are all doing well :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:17am

  218. 218: TamNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix, frugality is a very good thing…and a very prudent thing for a man one would consider raising a family with.
    I feel the little things count so much more than grand expensive gestures…someone crush a jasmine flower in his hands and says: ‘smell how beautiful this fragrance is’ – it’s worth more to me than an expensive meal at a posh restaurant where I feel uncomfortable. :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:23am

  219. 219: CalypsoNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t think JC and I are going to make it. I can feel myself shutting down where he is concerned and he can feel it too.

    He has made several comments to me in a joking manner (He picks at me constantly, so I never know if he is serious or not, but I have to think he partly is) about me making him feel “cheap” like I only want him for sex. He makes a huge deal out of it when I get dressed and leave, but he picks at me about it even when I am still there trying to relax, to the point that I just get dressed and leave . . .

    I told him on Friday that I needed to spend the weekend alone cleaning my house and doing yard work, etc because I have been out of town the last 2 weekends (one with him and one visiting my sister) and I just need some “me” time and to get my hosue in order before T-Giving.

    He wanted to know why I didn’t just make my sons clean the house so I could stay with him and help him clean his house . . . totally missing the point. I don’t want to play house . . . ugh. Why can’t we just have fun? Why does he have to push for more than I can give him? I am NOT using feeling messages with him any more – I am doing the opposite of that and I know it, but I can’t help it. I have gone from feeling like I might be falling in love with him to feeling nothing in the course of 2 weeks because his pushing makes me withdraw and I have not told him because I just don’t care enough to even talk about it. That’s messed up :/

    His B-day is in 2 weeks and we have plans to go to the mountains at the end of November. I would not be upset if we cancelled our plans, but I’m not going to do it. I’m not the one who is unhappy – if he wants to talk about it, he will have to stop acting like everything is a joke and have an actual conversation with me. I’m not sure he is capable of it either . . . the few times I have tried to talk to him about anything serious, he has tuned me out completely and interupted me as if he was not even aware that I was speaking.

    This is why I have so many dogs and cats . . . we get along perfectly – lol

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:23am

  220. 220: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I admit it, I am still hung up but not nearly as bad…as I wade through all possible triggers and am still standing and even have a little smile on my face.
    I love my hung-up-ness. :)
    Time will get rid of the last remnants of it…just give me a little time…la la la.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:25am

  221. 221: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Oh well. My parents have a lot of wealthy friends and I have heard every. Single. One. of them say these words “I didn’t get this wealthy by spending all my money on useless crap.” or along those lines.

    One friend of theirs is a BILLIONAIRE. No exaggeration. And he’s cheap cheap cheap. He only spends a lot of money on stuff if it returns money in the end. Like his house, or his properties or businesses etc. His yacht is for schmoozing for business.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:25am

  222. 222: sunflowerNo Gravatar says:

    Thankyou Daria..:). Love the way you feel, write, express.

    Inbetw, have been getting ” you are banned” message when I try accessing this blog. And then I can’t get to the page for a few hours..??

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:25am

  223. 223: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    New money. hahahaha They all worked so hard for what they have and they won’t give it up easy. The kind of rich people that you would never know it if you just bumped into them on the street. Faded jeans and sneakers and t-shirts kind of rich people.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:29am

  224. 224: TamNo Gravatar says:

    220 Miss…too funny.
    I am totally unimpressed by wealth, I have also known a lot of wealthy people in my ‘previous life’…when I worked in finance. Some of them were lovely, others just very arrogant and yes, turning over every penny. I find that sad, especially when they could do a lot of good with all that money rather than have it sit in accounts or whatever.
    Each to their own, but I could never even date a man like that who continually makes remarks like this.
    I know people who have nothing and are so giving…not in materialistic ways but with their time, love and gestures and food and so on.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:30am

  225. 225: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I’m not sure why that made me cry but I feel so much right now.. I feel so tender and vulnerable.
    I feel you know me so well. I get my confidence from my learning on my own.
    I feel thankful for your inside into my needs.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:36am

  226. 226: BABNo Gravatar says:

    224 @ MissStix

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:36am

  227. 227: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Actually, I’d have much preferred to pay for my own meal, considering the lamenting I had to endure. Would have been my week’s earnings as I am not earning much right now, however, I could at least have enjoyed it and have had a glass of wine and enjoyed it even more. I did not dare order one as everybody was drinking water and I had to endure all those comments before….pff.
    I feel so happy not to be a wife of someone like that who has no independent income, how awful it must feel to have to ask for things and be told it’s too expensive when the bank accounts in various countries are overflowing.
    ((((wives of stingy men))))
    Jeepers, I feel super lucky.
    I would feel so much happier with a poor lovely man, eating cheese and drinking cheap wine on a beach.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:37am

  228. 228: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Yep! I’m fully with you. I feel totally turned off by that attitude. I don’t really get it. I am frugal (we are frugal) because we don’t have a lot of money. Not that we are the types to be frivilous if we did…But I simply can not imagine worrying over a sandwich if I were well off. He11…Sandwiches for all! Is what I would say. Especially for those that are hungry.

    A lot of money isn’t so important to me. Having enough, and not owing much, is what is truly important to me. And when I do dream of having a bit more, I dream of the experiences it would bring to my life and how I could use it to help others. Posessions mean very little to me, and money gaining money amd sitting in the bank doing nothing is of little importance to me.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:40am

  229. 229: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    BAB – I am sorry for the trigger but happy too. Pain in my life has always resulted in me motivating me to make a change. It has always been for the better even if it takes a while to feel better.

    Interesting thing as I remember how I felt everyday…I still feel a lot of resentment. Well toward my recent relationship that is not anymore. I have two words to define him. Lazy, Selfish User. (oh that is three) He always turned everything in to my fault and accepted no responsibility for things. I know he looked at porn, I could find evidence of his “taking care of himself” if you get my drift. I was soooo ANGRY. I am glad I sharing this even now because it triggers more things in me that I need to feel and reconsile. I did talked to him about all of it and he would appoligize but nothing changed. I finally just had enough, just like with my marriage. ENOUGH. Not what I want, the pain caused me to make changes.

    Recently this week end I had a CD ask me about using erotica or porn in a relationship? WOW trigger too! I have felt through that one so I was able to explain my feelings very clearly to him. Which is MAJOR progress for me. (Again speaking my truth is my big thing I am working on right now) I dont think I would have a problem with view erotic things together in a healthy committed relationship, but if there is an addicted to it.. wanting a command performance, or a man wants woman that looks and acts like they typically do in them then NOOOO. I feel that it robs creativity between to people and places unhealthy pressure on partners. So having told him that I felt heard. I did not care if I was agreed with me in the least!

    My last relationship.. communicated to me.. I had to learn to.. and dress like.. do this for me… me me me… “turn him on” In hindsite…tHat is clearly someone who is NOT a partner but a taker only.. He spent no effort on my needs or desires. Actually he was the worst lover I have ever had in my life.

    On the subject of expectations….

    I had so many years of anger built up at my ex-husband but now 6 years later I am not angry at him anymore. We are friends. Why am I not angry at him..I have NO MORE expectations of him for anything!. Just like you were talking about.

    WOW I am wound up and at work… more later


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:40am

  230. 230: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    My bro is also like those men (only a little). He’s good at accumulating money and not spending. But he is generous when need be. He helped me pay off repairs on my car to the tune of 3 grand. I payed it back, but that, to me, showed is generosity. He will be wealthy though. For sure. Because his money accumulates.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:44am

  231. 231: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Calypso I feel so excited reading your comments. I like the challenge that these types of situations present for me to try to change my communication so that men listen and change around me. I am not saying you did or said anything wrong here just that you seem to be aware of not wanting more with him and he seems to have sensed it on an unconscious level and might be acting out on it. I feel excited about these types of dynamics because nowadays they feel like fertile ground for me to practice tools.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:47am

  232. 232: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    I believe that most men have learned from women that they are inpressed by wealth so they experience women who don’t take crumbs as different.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:49am

  233. 233: CalypsoNo Gravatar says:

    Fw – I kind of feel excited too – because I’m so completely aware of what is going on now. Someday when I meet the right man for me, this understadding will be so helpful.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:50am

  234. 234: TamNo Gravatar says:

    227, Miss Stix, you basicallt summed up my own attitude towards money. I can survive on very little and my main goal is not to have debts…that’s it. I don’t need a flashy car, boat, plane, big house etc.
    I just want mine and me to be healthy and happy.
    Money helps but it sure ain’t everything.
    I have bought many friends sandwiches, coffees, drinks etc., when I could – and I did it because it made me happy at the time, not because I felt I had to….and it would have felt so bad for me to have told them how much money it cost me and how expensive it was…we are talking about $5 here…
    I believe some people make their lives vastly more stressful than they have to be. I am NOT one of them. I have seen a lot of bad things and a lot of suffering in my life (other people’s)…and this kind of stressing over a couple of dollars when you have millions – it almost seems like a disease to me, certainly not quite normal. Very odd. I feel a little sorry for him – just enjoy life, matey! 😉

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:50am

  235. 235: TamNo Gravatar says:

    231 FW, that is what it is. And I see all these women worship him, making him crackers, bringing him drinks etc. – it was quite funny.
    He was a good man, just, well, spoilt by attention. He didn’t need any more from me so I just enjoyed the day :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:53am

  236. 236: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Tam I also believe that these men appreciate women who tell them NO.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:55am

  237. 237: TamNo Gravatar says:

    235..FW, before we went for the dinner we were at a function. There were free appetisers but loooots of people. He said ‘I’d really appreciate if you could go around and get me some food, as I have to wait for a couple of other people to turn up’.
    So he expected me to stand in a long line and pick up some food for him. I felt supremely turned off. I just walked around and watched people, and looked at the long lines….and smiled. I walked back to him after 30 Minutes and said ‘sorry, but I did not feel like standing in a line for an hour, hope you don’t mind’.
    Now, if that had been a guy I knew well and liked and had known of the situation, I might have offered ‘shall I go and get us a bite?’…BUT he demanded it. It wasn’t a discussion or a question, just a ‘get me some food’. I mean, honestly. I felt actually amused by it and as I walked around thought to myself ‘la la la..I am just enjoying this walking around’….
    Pre-Siren Land, I might have got really frustrated and joined one of the huge lines, but no more.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:03am

  238. 238: TamNo Gravatar says:

    …he also introduced me jokingly to all the other people on the boat as his ‘assistant, who will fetch him cold drinks and food’…
    I felt like throwing a soda can at him…but since he was the captain, well, luckily I didn’t 😉

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:08am

  239. 239: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    lol tam!!

    I feel highly amused by all of that too…I mean…Really. :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:14am

  240. 240: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Miss Stix, it was a good trigger at the time especially as I used to be princess on the little boat, as well as the only other person entrusted with all the important stuff, like steering the boat and taking the engines out of the water etc. MrP actually screamed at one of the guys when they wanted to do that and said ‘no, ‘she’ does that’ – because I was like the second Captain and he trusted me…
    And here I was demoted to ‘cabin steward’..that’s how it felt. Some other chic got to steer the boat etc.
    I was very triggered by all that, but at the same time it was water off a ducks back also and it hadme amused and the more it went on, the more I zoned out and just looked at the waves and enjoyed nature and ignored the rest.
    I did actually have a nice time..but yeah, lots of triggers. They helped I guess.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:18am

  241. 241: HeatherNo Gravatar says:

    Hey ladies :) I have taken almost a eight month break from the blog. I see a lot of familiar names, one in particular I am SO happy to see is FW :)

    I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I was dealing with an “other woman” issue, me being the other for five+ years. Some of the things that were said, particularly about closure (and that it does not really exist).

    It took me nearly eight months to process, detoxifiy, learn to see/listen and experience me for me. For so long I’d been focused on him, giving giving giving. Being available when he wanted etc.

    I loved what Tam wrote in 236- that was me, for five years. In that line waiting, waiting, sad, alone, desperate…waiting for something that once obtained was nothing more than just that a free apetizer. Crumbs. Not the full meal :)

    I am going to commit to being active on this blog because SO MUCH GOOD has come from here. I feel like it’s taken some time for me to be in a place to be surrounded by women with hope and positivity because I felt so isolated and invisible.

    I am ready to be seen, at least by yall, and above anything else learn, feel and experience. HAPPY MONDAY!!!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:18am

  242. 242: TamNo Gravatar says:

    It also made me realise again, what I want in my life, and which kinds of people I want to stay away from and why. I see it as experience.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:20am

  243. 243: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Today, the man names me his emergency contact and beneficiary to the small life insurance policy he has through work.

    I feel…Honoured by this. I feel seen, appreciated, important. I feel trusted. I feel a little lost as I realize I still do not know what he would want me to do if something happens to him. What does he want? Something I need to know. I trust myself to honour him in using that money for expenses and giving the rest to charity (as long as we are childless). Sigh. I feel a bit sick thinking about all this but if I am to be trusted to see to all of that I believe it is something I need to consider, no matter how awful the thought feels. Up till now it has been his sister. This just feels BIG huge to me. Like a huge responsibility. I will have to ask him his wishes. This will feel very uncomfy, but good and important.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:22am

  244. 244: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    “Just because my partner doesn’t agree with me, doesn’t mean my partner is wrong.”

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:24am

  245. 245: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Welcome (back) Heather!!! ((((you)))) Looking forward to seeing and hearing you :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:25am

  246. 246: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Happy Monday Heather

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:26am

  247. 247: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    183 ((( smile)))
    I wake up like that too sometimes. I get scared and anxious.
    I’ve started trying to reframe the energy and picture what I want for the future…What i want to add to my vision board…???
    Sometimes it helps. I’ve brainstormed a couple cool new ideas in those early hours!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:27am

  248. 248: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    BAB 225

    (((you))) I believe in you.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:28am

  249. 249: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    Hi heather welcome back :-) 😉

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:29am

  250. 250: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Tam 218

    Just saw this! Beautiful. :) The simplicity. I get this.

    It’s like…The feeling I get when he kisses my eyebrow. Such a simple thing but it holds immense beauty and magic and I can feel overwhelmed to breathlessness with something so small.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:34am

  251. 251: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I’m enjoying just reading today and to listening to my feelings.
    I am sensing tho that I’m closing off a little to them and I want to be open not closed..
    I want to feel!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:42am

  252. 252: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    @200 RN AmazingMe

    My man and I broke up last Thursday. I will just copy and paste what I posted on FB’s Siren Island since it’s kind of a long story:


    My first question to him was “Where do we go from here?” At first he said he wanted more time, one month, two months and I told him I couldn’t wait for him that long, that I needed attention and he couldn’t give it to me. He agreed with me, said he couldn’t be in a relationship now and he doesn’t think he ever will be. He’s a lone wolf and can’t deal with having someone living with him full time. He’s persuaded that he will spend the rest of his life alone. I told him how sorry I was for him. He said don’t be sorry, this is the way I want to be. When I told him that I loved him, he just looked at me and said that he didn’t know what he felt anymore.

    I told him that I was going to look for someone and he said don’t wait for me. He also said he didn’t feel good when he knew that I was always waiting for him while he was away working.

    I asked him why he answered my ad two years ago then. He said that he thought it was for FWB because I didn’t mention LTR but I told him, no I didn’t write that, but I had said that I wanted someone to get to know and maybe try for long term. He said that when I told him I was ready to wait, he was willing to give it a try but then he saw how it didn’t work for him.

    It all went smoothly, we hugged for a long time and talked like friends for a good 25 minutes. I told him not to be a stranger, that he could call me if ever needed anything.

    I’m happy it went well and we left each other in good terms.


    Of course I would still like to be with him but I can’t make him love me just as I can’t make him change his mind and come back to me.

    And of course I can’t date anyone now, it’s way too soon and I need time to heal.

    Feeling very raw today, very vulnerable and alone and empty.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:44am

  253. 253: TamNo Gravatar says:

    ‘Of course I would still like to be with him but I can’t make him love me just as I can’t make him change his mind and come back to me.’

    This is so true and such a hard thing to accept, well to accept it is easy but it is still sad…I feel you! And I know how that feels..

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:49am

  254. 254: HeatherNo Gravatar says:

    Aahhh a few more familiar names :) thank you ladies.

    I think there is beauty in clarity and freedom… without freedom I cannot experience my own truths. For so long I permitted myself to be emotionally held hostage… letting go of my fixation, my perception was hard enough but when I was able to see how clouded and out of touch with reality I had been, that hurt even worse. I don’t want to feel those things again, I know I will though. Just never in that same context :)

    Back to the gentleman’s statement about partner 1&2… what would a Siren do if the desire statement was flipped… i.e. we are speaking about something emotionally charged (I am not intitating) and it becomes all about him and I feel the desire to say what he says but fear his response, his truth? Vulnerability is terrifying. It’s easier to say less, but I see the value in “speaking more”… *conflicted*

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:50am

  255. 255: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Mmm now I desire to write about last night. My PMS saga continues. I feel light and amused today, but not so last night. I actually feel a little guilty over last night. Thinking about it now. He was just…hmmm attentive?…But, ahhh I was truthful and authentic and had negative FMs out my butt lol

    When I got home from work he was waiting with lunch ready to go and he had taken epic care of my doggy. Wonderful. And I did express such gratitude and adoration. But he was SO physically expressive in such an aggressive way. And very incessant. I felt SO tired from waking up at 0430 and the time change and work. My muscles were achy. I could only handle so much biting and tickling and being picked up and tossed around. At first I felt giggly and appreciative of the attention and it felt fun. But after nearly 2 HOURS of this, and almost non-stop it just started to feel physically painful and irritating and I felt pushed and angry. So my response started to shift from giggles to growls and from smiles to scowls. I had to release FM after FM after FM before he finally stopped.

    “I feel so achy! I can’t take anymore!”

    “I feel irritated! It’s enough now!”

    “I feel really annoyed and tired. My muscles hurt. I can’t handle this!”

    “I feel hot and bitchy and i’m PMSing. It feels difficult to get over irritated feelings and they are piling up on top of each other. I do appreciate the attention so much! But I need gentle today. Please.”

    It finally tapered off. I don’t think he was taking me seriously at first. Because we joke and wrestle a lot and poke and bite and tickle. And it IS fun. He eventually rubbed my thighs and I moaned and said ohhhh how good it felt. He gave me kisses and hugs and such and I felt better. But I could tell my demanding him to stop threw him off a bit. And I don’t want him to think I don’t like this type of play because I DO. It was just TOOOOO much yesterday.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:51am

  256. 256: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I feel really open in this moment!
    Yay that means I’m feeling..

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:51am

  257. 257: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Edited for moderation.

    Mmm now I desire to write about last night. My PMS saga continues. I feel light and amused today, but not so last night. I actually feel a little guilty over last night. Thinking about it now. He was just…hmmm attentive?…But, ahhh I was truthful and authentic and had negative FMs out my bum lol

    When I got home from work he was waiting with lunch ready to go and he had taken epic care of my doggy. Wonderful. And I did express such gratitude and adoration. But he was SO physically expressive in such an aggressive way. And very incessant. I felt SO tired from waking up at 0430 and the time change and work. My muscles were achy. I could only handle so much biting and tickling and being picked up and tossed around. At first I felt giggly and appreciative of the attention and it felt fun. But after nearly 2 HOURS of this, and almost non-stop it just started to feel physically painful and irritating and I felt pushed and angry. So my response started to shift from giggles to growls and from smiles to scowls. I had to release FM after FM after FM before he finally stopped.

    “I feel so achy! I can’t take anymore!”

    “I feel irritated! It’s enough now!”

    “I feel really annoyed and tired. My muscles hurt. I can’t handle this!”

    “I feel hot and b!tchy and i’m PMSing. It feels difficult to get over irritated feelings and they are piling up on top of each other. I do appreciate the attention so much! But I need gentle today. Please.”

    It finally tapered off. I don’t think he was taking me seriously at first. Because we joke and wrestle a lot and poke and bite and tickle. And it IS fun. He eventually rubbed my thighs and I moaned and said ohhhh how good it felt. He gave me kisses and hugs and such and I felt better. But I could tell my demanding him to stop threw him off a bit. And I don’t want him to think I don’t like this type of play because I DO. It was just TOOOOO much yesterday.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:57am

  258. 258: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    Going through some weird, indecisive, lonely energy.

    love to me.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:19am

  259. 259: OlympiaNo Gravatar says:

    Things have been in a really good place with LLcd. I feel like I’m on my bridge, and he’s there too, making plans for a surprise in December and even talking about things we’ll do next summer. He tells me that he can’t imagine me not in his life, and that the way that I speak to him is incredible (yay feeling messages!).

    My focus right now is trying to figure out how to use the tools and apply them to my job. I feel sick to my stomach, and tight in my chest like I can’t breathe. My boss has not had anything positive to say about my work in what feels like months. I’m never asked to participate in any extra teams. He told me that other people had complaints about my work, and when I asked him what specific projects they were, he didn’t know, and admitted that he was just repeating what he had heard! It feels so frustrating!
    I am in the middle of planning what I can do, but I’ve never been in this situation before, it feels terrible to be considered bad at what I do. :( I don’t see myself that way, but it does make me second guess myself.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:40am

  260. 260: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    ” you once again did not listen to me and went right to you and your stuff.”

    I do this sometimes and I’m working on it. It’s hard for me to stay with other people and their problems/feelings/situations without interjecting my own experiences into it. It comes from a loving place…I only want to help and show people they are not alone but…I do realize how insensitive it can sound sometimes. I’m working on this. Nobody has ever told me it “hurts”, but sometimes when I catch myself doing it, I realize how rude it sounds. I wonder if they know it comes from a place of empathy…

    If I’m ever actually called out on it like the people above, I’m not sure how I would respond. I guess something like “Oh my gosh…thank you for calling me out on that…I am sooooo sorry! I know I do that and I’m trying really hard not to. I’m here with you now.”

    Sometimes when J and I aren’t really present when the other one is talking, we admit to it before it gets rude. If timing is bad and we’ve both got things to say or one of us is trying to finish up a text or an email or we’re preoccupied with work, etc, we’ll just admit it. “I’m moogling you right now. I’m so sorry. Give me just a sec.” and then when we can focus on each other we’ll say. “Ok. Thank you. I’m back and can hear what you’re saying.”

    Sometimes when we do it we call the other one out. “You’re totally moogling me right now.” (Said with a laugh). “Yes. I’m sorry. Just a sec.”

    It’s kind of fun because there are no hurt feelings when we do it that way. How much hurt or anger can there be when you give it a name like “moogle”. :-)

    But I do have to work on just listening (with the intent to hear) and not hearing (with the intent to respond).

    Thank you for the article Rori. It’s bringing that back into my focus.

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:41am

  261. 261: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I am having an epiphany kind of day.

    Thank you universe. Thank you Daria’s words on FB. Thank you stix. Thank you experiences.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:43am

  262. 262: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    We do this too. No hard feelings around “you’re so not paying attention!” with a laugh and “no i’m not hehe” and it’s light and fun. Though we don’t have a great word for it like “moogle” 😀

    I love your post today. It feels very honest and open. It helped me reinforce a belief. Thank you!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:48am

  263. 263: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    You’re welcome MissStix…and thank you! We stole the word from Stephen King. “Lisey’s Story” I think…lol

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:50am

  264. 264: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Mercedes- I’m stealing that word lol too funny! I can teen read it with out feeling laughter inside:) hope you don’t mind lol

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:53am

  265. 265: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Uuughh. My neck is sore :-(

    I’m the massage therapist who needs a massage right now!! lol. Maybe I’ll get one soon ; )

    Anyway, I’m not so sure about yesterday. Maybe I didn’t so much “release expectations” (I did some of that), so much as “freeze up,” though.

    He *said* that he would call me. He said he wanted to see me, actually, and I said I was too tired, but that he could still call. And yet he didn’t. He texted me only, and I was getting tired of texting. But I think I was too caught up in the “expectation” of a phone call at the time (and noticing that I was having it), so that I didn’t get to form any FMs about it.

    If I had, they might have sounded something like…”I feel tired of texting. You can call if you want, or I’ll just get ready for bed.”

    Or, “It would feel really good to talk to you right now.”

    I told him I’ll be too busy this evening, which is true. He’ll probably call me tonight ; ) lol

    Men. They’re so funny…

    But I really did have to release an expectation. I really did have to let go of the idea that just because he *said* he wanted to call me that he was actually going to do it. Maybe all he wanted to do was text, and give me attention that way, and maybe I can appreciate that. Maybe I don’t have to focus so much on what I was *not* getting, and instead have a good look at what was happening.

    And I had another comforting thought this morning – his calling me or not calling me has nothing to do with how much he’s thinking about me or how much he likes me.


    To me, right now, separating those two is important. And maybe one of the keys to shifting my perspective. Because underlying the “expectation” of his calling or not calling is the belief that “if he calls me, he likes me, and if he doesn’t call me, then he doesn’t like me (i.e. he’s rejecting me).” And that seemed like a True Thing. Somewhere along the line, that belief was handed to me, not even by my family, but probably by society at large; by the offhand comments of a long array of women who would indicate that a phone call = he likes. Therefore the opposite: lack of phone call = problem.

    Whereas, from the guy’s perspective: That’s Not True.

    So dismantling that belief = awesome.


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:55am

  266. 266: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I love listening to the sound of rain…
    I wonder where the Guy-I’m-meant-to-be-with is now?
    Is he reading a book…is he late for work…
    Is he sitting in a cafe feeling hopeless that he’ll never find me?
    I feel that way too Guy-I’m-meant-to-be-with!! Don’t lose heart <3.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:57am

  267. 267: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    LOL!!! Not at all BAB…as I said, WE stole it too. :-)

    I think it’s just a fact of life. Sometimes, we are preoccupied. It happens to everyone. But J and I find it really, really important to be in the moment with each other. So…when we find ourselves (or the other one) distracted, we bring it to our attention. It helps to keep us aware. Kind of like saying “time out. Look up. Are you here?” Sometimes it’s okay to need a minute before you can devote your attention to your partner. It’s better to just say that than to half listen and half pretend to be listening. To me, it would hurt a lot worse to have him tune me out while I talk than to have him say “Hang on. I need like 2 minutes to moogle and I’ll be right with you. ” :-)

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:58am

  268. 268: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I’m curious how you two came up with the idea of having a word? Did u just start using it or actually have a talk about it?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:59am

  269. 269: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – Wow. What a story. I had a guyfriend say to me that stopped paying for women on dates because many of them were not really interested in him and just used him to get free drinks and food…He said it happened to him like 7 times before he decided he was not going to pay for women anymore. Wow…and he’s a bit of a tough guy so I was surprised that he opened…but it’s always a wow moment t hear the male perspective.

    Maybe that’s why your friend was acting so abrasive?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:07am

  270. 270: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    The word was used that way in a Stephen King novel with both read. We just sort of started using it right away. It “fit” us. I’m not sure which one of us actually used it first, but we read the book at the same time so…I don’t know…it just happened.

    It’s much better than what I did before the word. He was texting someone from work one time while we were at dinner together. Now, I know his work is important and depending on what’s going on, sometimes it interrupts us…even at dinner…and I try to respect that. But that particular night, while he was texting the guy from work, I sent him a text saying “which of these two conversations if most important to you right now? work or me? and do you prefer talking or texting?”

    That was kind of rude of me. But he just laughed and said “okay, okay, I get it”. See…sometimes, we’re so used to knowing that work interrupts us that we don’t filter which part of that work is important enough to actually interrupt us. We just take care of work quickly and move on…when in reality, that particular email or text might have been able to wait til morning.

    Anyway….however we do it…we try really hard to make light of it. :-)

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:16am

  271. 271: TamNo Gravatar says:

    268…Heart, nah, he just is someone who likes to criticise and stay in negative energy. I actually wanted to pay for everything but he didn’t let me – and then complained. Couldn’t win with this one, never happened to me before.
    I was invited, I was not expecting anyone to pay for anything – I am European and in my culture men typically don’t, so I am quite sensitive around the subject, hence this never happened to me before.
    He must have problems…he likes to criticise and nitpick..he is quite an amicable guy but keeps making sarky comments – I don’t care for that much to be honest.
    Sick and tired playing psychologist and excusing strange behaviour. I guess he was just an arrogant rich guy used to women worshipping him – and they did. Overfunctioning left, right and centre…
    I want to be around people who have manners, are polite and friendly and don’t make me feel uncomfortable.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:20am

  272. 272: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    lol…meanwhile, the other guy is calling me a whole bunch. But he keeps asking me questions that are first-date type questions. And yet he’s flaked on me twice. To be fair, I “flaked” on him last night. But only because I was legitimately tired, and also because he stopped short of really committing to meeting up. So I consider that to be him flaking first. It didn’t make sense for me get committed to the idea, either, or go out of my way for him. He was inviting me to his place. I mean, ridiculous! Like I’m going to go out of my way to see him when I’m tired, and he doesn’t have to go anywhere – just hang out in his house while I arrive.

    I don’t think so, buddy! lol

    Actually, I think this guy is “instant relationship”-ing me. It’s like he wants to skip all the preliminaries and go right to hanging out on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. Whatever, dude. Just because you have a child and feel responsible doesn’t mean you get to be lazy.

    Besides, I really don’t think it is going to work out. You’re nice and all, but…meh.

    I <3 Me!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:21am

  273. 273: TamNo Gravatar says:

    The kind of person who says something really quite offensive and then backtracks when they realise how offensive it was and then says ‘I am only kidding’. Urgh.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:21am

  274. 274: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Also, I didn’t realize it at the time…but opening up to my guyfriend and saying “I don’t care about him spending money on me, I just want to feel cared for and special” …made him totally open up to me and made me realize that men have a lot of hurts and concerns when it comes to women…
    Anyway – I’m looking forward to expressing these things with men I’m dating…

    Sirens – can u imagine that some men don’t even get that we Want to feel adored and cared for when on a date…that was big news for one of my guy friends…

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:22am

  275. 275: MSNo Gravatar says:

    ((Francesca)), I think you were very brave to say you wouldn’t wait. I really feel your situation resonate with me, I didn’t know my ex would disappear for 3 months when he said he needed space and I had to end the relationship without seeing him, because I was beginning to feel OK without him with the time passing and I didn’t want those ‘what if’ feelings to be stirred up by seeing him again. He sounds a lot like your ex, someone who prefers to be alone to work out their stuff and is convinced they will fail at relationships so while he wanted to be with me, he was just not there 100%. I do still miss him and I do know that raw feeling where your mind can’t rest and then you feel exhausted in your body. I hope you get out and about and reach out to a friend for company, that’s what really helped me apart from this blog, of course. I hope if he does make contact again, you think of yourself first and don’t feel you need to look after him, it was his choice to be alone and you’re the prize. Take care.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:23am

  276. 276: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like there are nasty monsters eating me up inside.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:24am

  277. 277: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Hm…can we get an exact definition of “moogle”

    It sounds like a combo of “google” + “me”

    (even though I suspect the word is pre-google and/or has nothing to do with it)

    It seems to say “I’m on the internet and I’m in my stuff so I’m not paying full attention to you right now.”

    Is that what it’s supposed to mean?…

    And btw, nice. I like the idea of making light of it. In general, that seems a good way to go. That way no one has to feel really “bad,” but everyone can take responsibility for what they are doing. Which is good stuff : )

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:27am

  278. 278: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    lol Tereana!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:30am

  279. 279: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    how can i take care of myself?
    -take myself out for a long, nice lunch
    how can i take care of myself?
    -make sure i get to work on all the errands/to-do’s that are weighing me down energetically the second i get home
    how can i take care of myself?
    drink lots of water

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:31am

  280. 280: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    @tereana I was laughing at the lazy-couch post…hehe

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:32am

  281. 281: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    i have a crush on someone who is 18 years older than me.

    When I met him I thought he would be maybe 5 or 10 years older, tops. If even. He looks like he’s barely over his mid thirties.

    i feel weird. i thought all this time he was closer to my age, and i feel attracted to him, but he’s like 46 years old. and i still feel interested in him.

    do i have major issues?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:38am

  282. 282: TamNo Gravatar says:

    OMG, I am totally obsessed. Feeling very amused with myself. I just went to join the library and she said ‘don’t come tomorrow because we are voting’ and I heard ‘we are boating’…how hilarious. So I scream through the library ‘BOATING?’ And the clerk looked like she wanted to shoot me and as though I was the most ridiculous person on the planet and said ‘ NO. VOTING!! We are a library’.
    OMG. I felt so amused as I walked out, I was giggling for 20 minutes….I have nothing but boats on my mind…eeeek!!!!!!!!!!!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:39am

  283. 283: MSNo Gravatar says:

    Francesca, I feel for you. Don’t feel alone.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:45am

  284. 284: HeartNo Gravatar says:


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:45am

  285. 285: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    MS, thank you.

    I don’t have many friends here, actually there is only one person I can to about that. Awww, pity me.

    I’m grateful for the girls on FB’s Siren Island. I don’t know where I would be if they weren’t there for me.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:55am

  286. 286: TamNo Gravatar says:

    ((((Francesca)))) believe me, you are not alone, I really know how devastating this can feel……thinking of you. You sound so strong…you will get through this!!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:57am

  287. 287: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I also don’t have many friends here and the ones I do know, know this whole saga of mine already and I have avoided speaking any more. So much so that when I say I am going boating they say ‘ah with MrP’ and I cringingly have to say ‘no, other people’ – I don’t want to talk about it with people who know it, know him and don’t know yet that it’s all over, the friendship and everything else as they would just ask questions. So I stay quiet…but it all bottles up, sop I unleash it here…or on the few people I feel like speaking to, none of them live here. It is hard.
    I know how hard. You can lean on us though :)
    Do it, do it!!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:59am

  288. 288: CalypsoNo Gravatar says:

    JC texted me asking how my morning was going and asking if I wanted to come over on my lunch break for home made chicken & dumplings – yummy.

    Of course I went and it was nice. No one got naked, so I did not get in trouble for leaving too soon – lol. he did make a crack about me eating and running, but je knew I only get an hour lunch and it takes 20 minutes just to get to his house. I said, “Typical me . . .” and gave him a quick kiss before I left. he walked me out the door (shock!) and we neither one said “I love you”, which is good right now because it was already starting to sound forced to me last week.

    If he will back off and let me settle back down, we can have lots of fun times together and I do know how to be loving when I don’t feel like running . . . maybe we can both get what we need.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:00am

  289. 289: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel really open to any input regarding what I said in 280!:):)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:03am

  290. 290: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    That’s what I fear too, Tam. That people will get sick of hearing me sing the same “sad song” day in and day out.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:04am

  291. 291: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    Starla, no I don’t see any issues here.

    So what if he’s 18 years older than you?

    We don’t get to decide who will fall in love with, it just happens.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:06am

  292. 292: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Sing it to us Francesca… :)
    We won’t get sick at all, we are all in the same boat (here she goes again…sorry)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:07am

  293. 293: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Starla – one of my recent CDs that was handsome and was even my favorite for a short while was 44

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:08am

  294. 294: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    that’s about how much older than me my parents are

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:09am

  295. 295: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Still feeling rather blah, not numb anymore tho.. I don’t think lol
    I just feel like I’m existing here on the couch while the baby sleeps in my lap.
    I feel quiet and still.
    Just wanting to stay in this state so I can remain open.
    Going to practice feel/hearing the dad when he gets home lol
    Why not?…
    I feel confident and genuine saying I love me right now.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:12am

  296. 296: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    I want to get myself a cat to keep me company.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:15am

  297. 297: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Starla, I find it has little to do with age initially, later when you get to know them really well there can be differences because of that. People are all different, some look and act so much younger – and some are old before their time. I would date people up to about 15 years older than me but the guy friend I was with this weekend is 15 years older than me and seems like an old man. So he is too old for me.
    Others can be even older and seem absolutely fine – about attitude mostly.
    Take it as it comes….I’d say no worries.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:16am

  298. 298: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    people would gossip and talk and my family would be mortified haha

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:19am

  299. 299: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    Has he ever shown you that he could be into you, Starla?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:20am

  300. 300: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    People will always talk.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:20am

  301. 301: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    Yes, I think he’s into me.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:22am

  302. 302: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Francesca- 295 me to me too! Lol sadley bf says no:( some day!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:23am

  303. 303: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    Ok…I googled the word “moogle” and basically got nothing. Then I googled the words “moogle” and “stephen king” and the third thing down was my blog!! LOL. I guess I’ve told the story of that word before. haha!

    So, in other words, I have no idea what it actually means but I do know what it means for us and it makes us smile. :-) YAY! Good enough for me!

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:26am

  304. 304: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Mercedes-lol love that! I’m gonna google it ha

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:30am

  305. 305: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    Unless you like video games. If you do, here’s what a moogle really is:

    “Awesome, badass little fuzzy guys from Final Fantasy. They end every sentecne by saying “Kupo”, kupo!”

    “Catlike creature. Has a large red ball on its head attached by a long hair. Some can fly. Some can fight. Some are lazy bastards. All say kupo.”

    “cute furry little creatures with wings and a bobble on their head in every Final Fantasy game, which is the best game series in the world.
    Use the world ‘kupo’ at the end of sentences, usually when being friendly. ”

    Much Love to the gamers in the house,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:31am

  306. 306: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    BAB/Rebekah – Cool!

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:35am

  307. 307: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Sry for the name add on everyone, just felt guarded to have a fake name here.. Felt like I was hiding.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:38am

  308. 308: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    Now I’m stuck on this. I’ve googled and googled and even went to amazon and I can’t find the word. I’m sure it was Stephen King.

    In any case, we both read some book by some author at the same time and stole the word. I guess I just can’t remember what the book was or who the author was. We’ve been using it for about 4 years now…I guess that’s long enough to forget the name of the novel. lol

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:43am

  309. 309: DominiqueNo Gravatar says:

    Starla – It’s not unusual. It doesn’t mean you have issues necessarily though just to be sure, I would suggest checking in with yourself to see if you have any deeper daddy stuff to look at and maybe heal.

    Aside from that, we can be attracted to all kinds of people, male and female, younger, older.

    It doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matter what you feel.


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:54am

  310. 310: OlympiaNo Gravatar says:


    I was with a man that was 30 years older than me off and on for about 2 and a half years. My friends would ask me what it was like, was it weird? Some of the things yes, some of the things no. Physically, he was in shape, he was attractive to me. The age didn’t make a difference there. We connected over a common love of music and loved talked about business — in a way he was a mentor to me, workwise.

    The parts where the age difference was hard was integrating friends groups. He was *very* set in his ways, so I really ended up cut off from my friends, because he was not interested in going out or spending time with them. He liked going to the same restaurants and staying in at his house, so I ended up really isolated. It scared me that I felt that isolated before we were married, had kids, etc — I could only see it getting worse as we/he got older.

    The other place where the age difference was hard, that I didn’t realize until I was out of the relationship and with someone new, was that I wasn’t able to share my whole self with him. College was a big part of my (fairly) recent past and now I bond with my new boyfriend laughing over stories that we both can related to. With my ex being much older, he was never really interested/understood this big whole part of my past. If there hadn’t been a lot of other problems and we stayed together, it likely would have been less a problem over time as we built shared experiences, but I didn’t know how much I missed it until I had it again.

    Your age different is not so great, I realize, but thought I would share some of what came up for me.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:55am

  311. 311: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    no daddy stuff… i actually dumped a guy once when i found out he was 40. i thought he was much younger. but i feel especially attracted to this different man.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:56am

  312. 312: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    I would say go for it then, Starla.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:59am

  313. 313: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    BAB, I was supposed to move in with him and we had planned to get two cats later on and named them Alice and Cooper.

    That won’t happen but I stil want to get a kitty for me now.

    I always had cats when I was younger, I miss it.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:03pm

  314. 314: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Aww thank you Forest Siren

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:03pm

  315. 315: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:05pm

  316. 316: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Francesca- how cute! You should get one then:) we have names picked out too but Im pretty sure we aren’t getting one anytime soon.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:12pm

  317. 317: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Sunshine :) that felt so warm to read

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:13pm

  318. 318: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    Francesca: Thank you. I should have posted the link.

    Much Love,

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:14pm

  319. 319: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Wow Miss Stix it felt exciting to read how my words impacted you

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:14pm

  320. 320: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I’m feeling a knot in my stomach trying to form.. Not sure why but I’m letting it sit there, waiting to understand it.
    I feel it’s wrapped up preoccupied thoughts of what’s he thinking, what’s going on thoughts. Taking my focus away and just looking at everything around me and being still. Taking no action.
    This feels good. I love my knots.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:16pm

  321. 321: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Yay knot gone, not sure what I did.. Lol guess it wanted to be felt.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:23pm

  322. 322: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    Mercedes, you’re welcome!

    I like Urban Dictionary, very useful.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:27pm

  323. 323: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    BAB, yes I will get a cat. I’ve made up my mind about it.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:28pm

  324. 324: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Cd who just confirmed just canceled w a sudden text asking me to pick a place in an area 45 min from here cuz he has an important client 1 1/2 hours after the start of our scheduled meeting date.


    I feel triggered

    I handled it well and didn’t take control or suggest canceling tho

    I feel a bit bummed by men

    I didn’t hear from Scorpio CD who I had the two great dates with

    And now with this cancelation I don’t have any planned dates

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:31pm

  325. 325: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    And I’m a bit sad altogether

    Very ready to take ‘same day dates’

    I had a couple when I was free – one bad one good

    I feel bummed

    There’s stuff I could do for me, alone

    My mom is not staring her feelings of not feeling good being talked to that way and instead going into pleasing/ disrespecting and I know she’s going to wind up depressed tonite or at latest tomorrow

    I feel so upset w this

    Watching helplessly knowing what would help but not knowing how to get it going be listened to etc

    Feeling very pity bad

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:35pm

  326. 326: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you for not saying ‘oh well’ ‘shrig’ to me Daria

    I feel shut down when that happens

    Writing this I feel smoothed out and smily

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:37pm

  327. 327: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    A mutual friend asked me about CudG in an email…
    I wrote back & downplayed the whole thing and was just like “Yes, we hung out a little. It was no big deal…not very deep or meanigful” …Gosh I feel bad and good.

    I realize that I wasn’t “downplaying” it…that it was actually the truth but also…it was a lie…because it held some meaning for me.

    Also I feel scared the mutual friend will tell I wrote to CudG…
    I feel paranoid…
    I feel like I did something wrong…
    I feel like – wow that CudG thing was A Long Time ago…
    Maybe this is the story I need to tell myself to move forward – it was no biggie….it was not deep…

    Wow…its been like over month since he poofed…I feel so bored of hoping to hear from him. I’m looking forward to the new guy.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:37pm

  328. 328: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    RE 282 Tam hilarious. Keep your mind on your boating. It will come to you

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:44pm

  329. 329: TamNo Gravatar says:

    328 FW – this has amused me all day…I am easily pleased :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:48pm

  330. 330: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Sirens

    Bad night for me. I slept with ex yesterday… bad idea, I know. Especially since I still have anger towards him. Anyway, he was actually quite loving but I am under no illusions, there is no way, shape or form I can have a relationship with this man.

    Anyway, I was quite good today, kept away from all forms of contact… until late-ish tonight. When I Skyped him hello and he said not now, I’m busy. It was such a total brush-off and it was meant to feel like one, as he ignored a phone call from me, and when he did come back on to Skype was completely impatient and cold.

    I feel angry with myself. Angry that I contacted him, angry that I allow myself to be the puppet on the end of the string, angry for pushing, angry because I know this is what he is like. I know this is how he will treat me.

    Angry because this feels like my *own* anger not his.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 12:58pm

  331. 331: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    So he expressed wanting to have txt messaging FIRST reciprocated. I replied with “but your the man baby” in a joking tone followed by a laugh. He laughed to and said “yeahhh”
    Is It wrong that I want to txt him first then ( every once in a while) so he gets what he’s needing, or am I being masculine? I could use some inside here..
    I also kinda get the vibe that he’s being in the feminine role by saying this, only because he has not been texting as much as, say last week before he told me this. I feel like I should ignore it and do like rori says and out girl him!? Humm

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:04pm

  332. 332: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    ((((((((((((((Indigo))))))))))))) – I’ve been there myself

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:04pm

  333. 333: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    BAB – Is he committed to you in word and deed?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:05pm

  334. 334: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t know where this anger comes from. I feel so frustrated not knowing where it comes from. I hate that it shows up again and again. I feel stuck.

    I want to love my anger, and I want to love the anger of others. But I don’t.

    It feels ugly. It feels like cruelty.

    Apologies for the heavy post. This is a very heavy subject for me. I want to heal it, I don’t know how. There is such shame around this for me. I am such a strong person normally, why does this ugly horrible situation keep whacking me over the head.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:05pm

  335. 335: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t want to make him feel like his needs are not a factor but I also prefer when the man txt me, because this keeps me from reverting way back it to the masculine and all my leaning forward. And that’s why I said what I did.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:07pm

  336. 336: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Femininewoman, very much.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:08pm

  337. 337: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    333- I’m not sure what you mean?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:08pm

  338. 338: DominiqueNo Gravatar says:

    BAB – Since I know your story quite well, I will say it’s perfectly okay to initiate once in awhile. It’s a lovely gesture even. You will feel if it ever gets to be too much initiating on your part. You will start to feel something feels off or unbalanced. If it continues, you can feel downright icky.


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:10pm

  339. 339: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Something feels different. I can’t place it. It doesnt feel good or bad just different. But the different feels like an old familiar.
    I love my confused feelings.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:12pm

  340. 340: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Dominique- Yes I know the feeling, right now I’m not feeling that way over texting but I was there a few months ago, it felt terrible. I am however still feeling that in the sexual intimacy area and that feels just as upsetting. Thank you for the encouragement!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:15pm

  341. 341: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    thanks for the input ladies:)
    i will see him tomorrow at a swanky political function 😀

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:16pm

  342. 342: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Emerson, thank you. I like the sound of the visionboard. I will try this. Is this ‘imaginary’ ideas about what you want for the future?

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:18pm

  343. 343: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    I love my anger.

    I love my shame.

    (((((feelings of being stuck and uncomfortable))))))

    I wish I had patience for this. I wish I didn’t feel so bad about myself that I can’t figure it out, I wish it wasn’t covered with a hazy fog in my mind. Ugh.


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:20pm

  344. 344: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    oh, wait, he’s 21 years older than me! eeeesh, he’s like basically 50 years old. I’m 27

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:21pm

  345. 345: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Well – I applied for a new job somewhere else…I really hope I get it…but I have yet to be called for an interview…*impatient*

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:22pm

  346. 346: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:22pm

  347. 347: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    starla! …eek

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:24pm

  348. 348: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I know FW, it’s just terrible. Apparently she had him standing on the 4 foot railing and he fell forward and went in. 11 dogs attacked and killed him. I have felt many times that the exhibit wasn’t safe enough, that someone could go over…. but I wouldn’t stand my child up on the railing either. I’m sure there are signs saying to not do that. The local people here are going crazy, condemning her on facebook and in the media. I feel soooo terrible for all involved. That poor terrified baby… The family, the zoo people, the witnesses… it’s just a tragic accident and I don’t know how she will ever recover.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:26pm

  349. 349: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like crying now but I can’t, I’m at work. :(

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:33pm

  350. 350: StarlaNo Gravatar says:


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:36pm

  351. 351: FrancescaNo Gravatar says:

    Can’t wait to get home, have a good cry, let it all out and then listen to David Wygant pep talking me.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:39pm

  352. 352: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I’m finding it dreadfully hard to not think about Mr. Conversation. I had to make a deal with myself that I wouldn’t look at my phone for at least a half hour at a time to see if he’d texted me. He hasn’t. This is the longest we’ve gone, without talking. 2 days.

    But, I know he needs to be the one to lean forward if things are going to change. If I call him, he’d probably take it, we’d talk a little about what happen… and things might go back to the way they were, but I had a lot of doubt if that was best for me.

    I know I should be CDing like crazy right now, but i can’t even think about that right now. I actually hid my profiles. I really care about him, I’m hurting. I’m not in a place to start something new. Even a conversation with someone else right now… feels like I’d have to fake happiness to even get through it. And what guy wants to hear that you are sad things didn’t work out with someone else? No one. So, relieved to leave work and be busy with my girls tonight. Keeping busy makes things easier.

    I wonder if he misses me too…. of if it’s too soon, or feels like a relief to him…. or if he’s angry. I just feel sad and trying to be logical about it. That maybe it’s for the best.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:56pm

  353. 353: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    Ran into Mr. Stares me Down. I felt exposed and scared. (To be fair, I was about to get my period the next day, little did I know…)

    We were locked out of the building we were both going to, standing next to each other. There were other people there, that I did not know. He completely ignored me and was a social butterfly with every other person out there. I felt really mad.
    It would have been very easy for him to say “hi.”

    Then, once we got inside, I waited to go into the lecture a little later than he did.

    When I walked in, he had the balls to stare at me as I walked in and sat down. So, he’s one of those guys who stares but doesn’t speak.

    Grow a pair!

    I feel angry…

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 1:59pm

  354. 354: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Listen with the intent to hear.. Whoever said that,thank you!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:02pm

  355. 355: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    Something interesting also happened with Jack CD. He came over and sat near me, to where I was facing his profile. He seemed really, really nervous.

    I found it cute for some reason. He isn’t usually like that. I think I liked it though, because it felt authentic. Sometimes, he puts on a little bit of an act. (don’t all guys?) to appear more confident than he actually is. I like him better nervous…

    Finally he looked over at me and said the sweetest thing and I can’t even remember what it was!

    and all I could was smile (beam, really) which made him beam, so we shared a nice beaming moment together. It felt so good.

    but then, I kept feeling like he wanted me to go talk to him after we separated. but I felt really scared and nervous to do that, for some reason.

    I feel kind of intrigued, but kind of tired of him not stepping up at the same time.

    wondering what my place is in all of this.
    feeling a little hopeful, and a little frustated…

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:03pm

  356. 356: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    lamabutterfly – did you smile widely looking into his eyes? i find that works with my dad to say hi first to me

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:14pm

  357. 357: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    ninja sliiiiiiiiiiiide

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:20pm

  358. 358: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    well, i am flirting my ass off with a much older man as we speak.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:20pm

  359. 359: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you pussy i love you

    i felt so scared i irritated my nani even more and would have another bladder infection/uti/kidney issue

    but now i feel calmer and more relaxed

    and i am DEF gettin the message to speak up and have sex ONLY for me

    NOT FOR THE Other PERSon!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:31pm

  360. 360: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    sigh i was fuchked up scared!

    still denumbing

    omy wow

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:46pm

  361. 361: T-GirlNo Gravatar says:

    Turq, it sounds as if he acted hastily by defriending you. I can almost bet that he regrets it and is thinking about you. Leaning back is definitely the best thing now.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:50pm

  362. 362: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    should i call fave CD to come get me and me spend time w him when i feel so good w him?

    or should i not and also he hasnt called me in 2 days


    i can just be by myself and feel all shocked and frightened and weird


    that feels sad!

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:51pm

  363. 363: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i notice myself way in masculine energy



    my lil girl i think feels ‘out’ and ‘numb’ and ‘shocked’ still

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:57pm

  364. 364: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im getting ready to lean forward w guys even offering to let them borrow gas money just so i could have somone to chill an smoke with right now

    but wait sigh

    mmm will that feel good overall?

    it will feel good for the moment but what if i feel all lonely tomorrow?

    im starting to feel a bit better actually

    my pussy is starting to feel better too

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 2:59pm

  365. 365: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    wow go Daria!

    i just wrote this to a guy

    “hey thanks for the compliment and interest and honestly this feels uncomfortable to write but since i got stood up last time we were supposed to meet im not interested anymore. take care and good luck in the future.”

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 3:07pm

  366. 366: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel so so glad my nani is not feeling like she’s getting a bladder infection anymore

    thank you to this lovely herb blend capsules (Uribiotic) i took that helped me last time

    and im learning so much about my body

    my nani was only feeling a slight inner strangeness

    and then i took my Apple cider vinegar bath to try to help with that

    and During the bath i tried to make sure that it was getting in there

    Adn then AFTER i started feeling like i may be getting a bladder infection i mean i had to pee and couldnt and got all the symptoms and started freaking out

    adn i feel so glad i found i had more of these capsules so i took some and then relaxed and focused on something else and now im feeling more and mroe relaxed and better

    still a lil irritated but just slightly and i just peed nice healthy pee

    oh wow

    so scary for me


    my nani is like a wild animal

    she really just likes what she likes and won’t stand for what she doesn’t


    i am learning from this

    and now i will be able to express to my lovely No Name CD and see what happens

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 3:48pm

  367. 367: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    also a CD is on his way to come hang out and smoke w me

    and i didnt lean forward :)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 3:50pm

  368. 368: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    CD is here… I feel a bit sad… I miss Scorpio CD

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:20pm

  369. 369: AntoniaNo Gravatar says:

    I have been following the blog for over two years now. Got blueprint and modern then. Only posted a couple times two years ago. Anyway have practiced the tools and met a man about a year ago who was very masculine energy, pursued, made plans/arrangements, and in a lot of ways was perfect in the context of my family. We dated for 6 months exclusively, and during that time he was very emotional. I naturally feel compassion and stayed very much in open energy but when I wanted to take some space due to his high emotions he threatened suicide. I finally broke it off bc it got to be too much and he sent a picture of his bloody attempt this past Fri. I asked him to call 911 and stayed on the phone until they got there. He lives a few states away. I guess I’m writing this bc although I did the leaning back receiving and on the surface was very much taken care of I did not listen to my gut. I felt confused by the discrepancy of what was good vs not. I was trying to reconcile the trade off. He was not who I was initially attracted to but stayed open trying to get use to being treated right as in open doors, pay for dates and trips, constant (more than enough) text/calls.. And tried to go with how that felt and hoping I’d get there. Being someone a little more recovered from codependency I tried to gently guide him out of victim hood while maintaining my boundaries. bc I do believe we are all our brothers keepers it was important for me not to abandon someone suffering.. However I stated several times to him that I was not qualified to really help and that I had faith he could get through this rough patch and do what he needed to for himself. Unfortunately some ppl stay a good while in a negative space and may never get out.. I had to respect his timeline and process and remove myself from it though. He was a bit of a mirror for me and I feel exauhted and more mature bc of it. I wish him well, it makes me sad to see ppl suffer, and I hope he gets the qualified help he needs. During it though I felt very manipulated and started to feel resentful like all his good and nice gestures weren’t real or coming from a whole and healthy place. I have given from an agenda manipulative place before and as bad as it feels to give from that place it’s largely unconscience:( It feels so much worse to receive from that place though. I will definately listen to my inner guiding truth above all else. I will practice cultivating, listening, and trusting this part of me that has my highest best interest in mind. Thanks for listening. I have learned so much here and very much appreciate it even the growing pains. Blessings to you all

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:27pm

  370. 370: SassyNo Gravatar says:


    Have fun with it. It’s all just practice.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:31pm

  371. 371: AntoniaNo Gravatar says:

    Just saw how long previous post was.. Sorry about that. I feel bad

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 5:59pm

  372. 372: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Me trying to keep my cool after bd came home 1 1/2 late w no txt before hand. He comes straight to me and gives me kisses and say sorry I am late j forgot I had to get Emily his co worker a soda so I had to go bank a forth a few times. Me: instant anger and feeling very much like the lesser woman. He hugs me and says I missed you I repeated it because I did. Him what’s wrong. Me: I need a moment he almost jumped back and started to walk away saying oh ok! I began to fallow and he turned around and said what I giggled l( mistake, nervous laughter) because he thought I was fallowing him, when I was just headed the same direction. He said I thought you needed a minute, I replied yes I do. He starts cleaning up and doing dishes. I finish my thing while I tried to get my words straight for a feeling message about this and shyly went into where he was stood against the doorway with my hands behind my back and said ok I can hear you now. Him: huh? I said where you wanting to finish what you were saying? He looks hurt right now, I was just wanting to talk. Me: oh ok! Him: small talk, then what’s wrong? Me: I was just feeling a lot like idk the lesser woman, I was trying to hold back tears as always because I saw he was feeling down. I shouldn’t have. I stumbled over my words and told him after he asked a few tones why I was feeling like less and what he was doing to make it feel/seem that way? I shrugged (Uggg I handled this so poorly) and said it just feels sometimes like I’m less important then them snd I was already feeling triggered to anger because of dinner and no txt. He apologized for not txting during me. And I said thank you, and said that it just would have felt nice if I had a txt do I didn’t have to wonder ( again ugh ) I corrected myself so I wouldn’t be feeling worried. He agreeded and apologized for not txting and for not txting during the day week more. And explained it was because he was stressed snd running around and that he would try and do better, if I would let him ( he said this with a smile) I didn’t not smile but looked him in the eyes and said thank you. He said what and I told him I was just possessing still. He looked defeated by this and got sad. I asked for s hug a little after and he gave me a long bar hug snd i mealted. We made small talk for a min or two and he told me after I asked a little about this day and the stressed. I told him I was sorry he was stressed. Them he thanked me again for making dinner and I thsnked him, he thsnked me for making extra and I blurted out I didn’t I just haven’t eaten yet. ( I wanted to cry after that, I didn’t mean it to hurt him but subconsciously I must have) his shoulders fell and he said sorry I feel like an ass now, I thought you did that’s why I was only getting stuff out for me. I said no don’t be, you didn’t know, it’s ok. He was very hurt by this and I could feel I did wrong. He began to help me with my food and was being very manly about it as spossed to a few trs before. I was feeling super terrible. But took a second and then walked to the table turned around and said, sorry N. he emidiarly said no its fine, I stopped him and said no not about before but for saying that about dinner. I spoke hastily and I know I hurt ur feelings by doing do. He again said no its ok but said thank you for saying that. I said of course your welcome. We ate kinda in silence and sat by each orher with a show. He interrupted and said sorry to stop the show but would you mind if I go out w a girl friend tomorrow for dinner, or did u have plans for us? I said yeah us that something you wanna do? He said well yeah but I know your mad at me do I didn’t know of you wanted me to reschedule for another time? I looked at him and said no iam not mad at you, I just felt I needed to be honest to my feelings and myself and tell you what I was feeling and why. He said oh it’s ok, i wabt to enjoy this time with you and for you to be ok. I began to get musty and said no I feel like I need to tell you. He said ok and paused the show and turned towards me. I repeated it and said I have a hard time feeling guilty for telling other ppl about my feelings and how I feel in the moment. He said its ok I don’t want you to feel bad and you shouldn’t, as he rubbed the hair from my face. I smiled and thanked him and thanked him for being so sweet and understanding and always being so nice no matter what I say. He kissed my forehead and said that back to me with a smile and a laugh. We both kissed and smiled at each other. Then he excused himself to the bathroom and to txt his girl friend. As he came out he made a joke and then said sry I was to take a work call. Idk. I feel happy sad and upset with myself, but I feel the air between us is finally fresh/cleared.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 6:27pm

  373. 373: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Being busy really helped! I took my youngest to a new gymnastics class and had a really nice conversation with 3 other parents. I got to watch my baby learn new tricks and have a great time. I’m going to be ok, no matter what. Whew.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:04pm

  374. 374: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I hope so T-girl. A little space is good. We’ve gone 5 days without seeing each other, but have always talked multiple times a day. I caught myself wanting to ask him things or wondering what he was doing… Multiple times. Being busy tonight hot my mind off of him.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 7:08pm

  375. 375: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Sry for the humungo post didn’t have my note book. needed to purge..

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:36pm

  376. 376: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Wow I called Scorpio CD and asked him for help w my loneliness and he’s actually coming

    I feel embarassed to be needy , panicked , and blown away that he’s coming

    Moving in me


    I was gona wait for him to take me to eat

    But I’m getting myself Thai curry while I wait

    I want to live somewhere I can feel comfortable going home high

    I wish I lived w Scorpio CD

    I’m feeling bummed it doesn’t feel safe to go home high when I’m at my creative and vulnerable

    I don’t allow myself to feel that usually I numb out the pain

    Cuz I don’t deserve cuz I shouldn’t be high but that’s not true

    I trust Daria si much

    I deserve a place where I can feel confortable bein high

    I’m glad I can wrote about this


    Abd j Wang to be comfortable to sing, loud

    And not be a bad thing or loneliest or in any way worse than now as punishment for wanting something different


    Yay it’s safe now

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 8:59pm

  377. 377: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I love my dissapontment that I got pumpkin curry instead of red curry

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:01pm

  378. 378: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Scorpio CD is coming
    Is this ok?

    Is it ok for me to be this needy?

    This feels wonderful

    I feel lost

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:04pm

  379. 379: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    He has a speaking style like one of my old school guy friends and I remner ppl saying he was gay and I’m associating Scorpio CD w it cuz I’m extremely inquisitive/watchful for signs a man is gay

    Is that good for me?

    What if I relax


    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:07pm

  380. 380: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I’m feeling kinda blown away

    This reminds me of feeling way taken care of by my highschool boyfriend

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:08pm

  381. 381: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel scared to not bug him by being needy and relying on him to be happy

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:11pm

  382. 382: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    That’s what were not supposed to do right?

    Rely on him to come thru and care for me when Im lonely and cold?

    I feel confused

    Highly triggered

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:13pm

  383. 383: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like this is my dirty secret

    I don’t have anyone to hang put w while I’m high alone and cold and sometimes hungry and sometimes have to pee

    Strait homeless style

    But I try to play it off like Hames Bondette 008

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 9:17pm

  384. 384: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you BAB/Rebekah

    I woke up this morning and the fog is still there. I don’t know how this day is going to go.

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:02pm

  385. 385: sunshineNo Gravatar says:

    Daria I felt nice to read your thanks and also suprized:) I felt embarrassed also to post on here that I felt worried because my guy is seeing all my crazy/insecure parts….but I also feel that there is intimacy because of it and its working, it also helps when i know that sharing my scary feeling parts is backed up by a relationship expert and has thousands of followers lol…its the extra push for me to tell him how i feel no matter what it is:)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:47pm

  386. 386: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel all gushy

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 10:53pm

  387. 387: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Ah….sometimes I have to remember that these guys are just practice : )

    But then, sometimes they say things that get into my skin. They get into my psyche. I guess I still probably shouldn’t take them seriously. At least not until I see results.

    It’s always easy in the beginning. When I’ve first met a guy, I have no expectations, and no investment. But after even a few days, all that can shift.

    Still working with some of my codependency stuff, I guess.

    I CAN do this. I CAN have a healthy relationship.

    I can and I will have everything that I want. I am precious and worthy and I am the prize….

    Now…if this new CD does not confirm for tomorrow, do I a) show up anyway, just in case? Or b) not go, since I need/want a confirmation? Should I express my intentions?

    We set the date up last week. I ran into him on Saturday, and he said he was counting the hours till he could see me. This afternoon, he’s been quiet, though. I don’t know why it’s bothering me. I’ve been doing my best to focus on myself, but I think I feel nervous. I don’t know what to expect…

    Hm.. Maybe a feeling message for him? Thatight be good. I have to work in the morning. But if I don’t hear anything from him, then I think a FM will be in order… : )

    Xoxo, g’night! :-)

    Monday, 5 November 2012 @ 11:18pm

  388. 388: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    282 tam I love this story I literally laughed out loud when I read it!!! You are so funny!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:09am

  389. 389: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks Emerson, well in hindsight everything is funny to me too…ha!!!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 3:23am

  390. 390: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Now I’m dreaming about Mr. Conversation….. Ugh. Was a nice dream, but thinking about him, I feel sad and miss him. When I don’t think about him, I feel surprisingly ok. Like everything will be ok, no matter what. Today is 3 days since the fight. Feels so sad to me…. One fight, and that’s it. Communication just stops. Sigh, leaning back and giving space/ taking space.
    Today is Election Day. I’ll vote later and am taking the girls so they can see what it’s like.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 4:02am

  391. 391: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    370 Bab – this guy came & told you he was late cuz he had to get something for another girl…and then after you open up & tell him how you feel…he comforts you and go to text the girl?
    I don’t know if your processing and not wanting feedback…but maybe he’s bringing a message to you that you should get more male friends?

    Anyway: Yet another example of how feeling messages do not help some men/women understand us.

    I am finding that using Fms and then doing the same thing back to the person…actually helps more to change/eradicate the behavior…I experimenting with this…and I hope some sirens experiment tooo. I love fms…I find them freeing and authentic etc but I don’t want to get walked over and I want to have the relationship I want…
    In this case, after she expressed all her feelings about feeling second best…and then have him text his friend over dinner…BAB should have just gone on her phone and start texting her guyfriend….and I would bet he would take notice, get upset but also totally understand her feeling more…

    This has worked for me a few times….I tried resolving issues with FMs…and found that other than an initial sympathizing..The perso did not change…only until I ALSo gave the people a taste of their of their own medicine did the stop acting like that..thoughts?
    Try it? Experiment?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 4:57am

  392. 392: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Good Morning Sirens:

    Feeling better today, almost like I woke up from sleeping after being sick. I feel like getting up and getting out finally! A slow recovery process this is. One thing I know for sure today – It’s All About Me. Thank you all for supporting and comforting me. I know I still have a ways to go.



    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 5:13am

  393. 393: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Oh, my leaning back/stepping away has been successful thus far. I have not overfunctioned or leaned forward, not ONCE!!!! I’m in my Rori dance position and just responding (mostly with feelings message). Yea for me!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 5:14am

  394. 394: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Hm. I know we are never supposed to want to get into a man’s head. But it seems like a great mystery to me. men’s heads. And I often wonder what goes on in there.
    I do wonder why they change on a dime and why, why, why.
    And I know this is not at all useful. But still, I can’t help wondering sometimes.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 5:30am

  395. 395: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – should I unfriend CudG on Facebook?
    I’m still hoping he contacts me deep down inside and I’m breating myself for it and I’m berating myself for berating myself while trying to love myself in the process…i feel angry’s been ages since he poofed…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:07am

  396. 396: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Heart, I don’t know…to be honest with you, I have no idea what I would do. I am in a phase where I feel like whatever I do is not a good idea and my self esteem has hit rock bottom and I don’t feel good advising anybody anything because it seems nothing is working out for me right now…. hrmpf.

    If you don’t want to see him on your fb then I do suggest unfriending him, but if it is perhaps a tiny bit to draw attention, maybe not. I have unfriended a couple of guys that annpyed me with comments or wanted to date me and then posted tons of pictures with artificial looking blow up doll women and it was triggering me and I just deleted and blocked them, they weren’t even friends so I feel better not to see their stuff running down my wall.

    What do you feel like doing?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:12am

  397. 397: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Go with your heart, Heart.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:13am

  398. 398: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Heart 389

    I see what you are swaying. I was initially annoyed especially once he started hiding his phone and checking it sneakily. In my head I was saying this is because he doesn’t want to make It seem like he was giving the girl on the other end more attention then me in the moment.
    Now if the is true or not I feel uncertain. But I’m trying really hard not to focus on what he’s thinking. So I dropped it.
    I also atone the lack on his part to my terrible stab at a feeling message. When he asked what he was doing wrong witness girls o make me feel this way. I should have said what it was. Instead I shrugged because I started to feel bad that I was saying anything and it threw me off. :( I need alot more practice.
    I love my stumbles.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:13am

  399. 399: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Even that is odd advice coming from me.
    I have always gone with my heart and I couldn’t have done it any other way. But I realise that perhaps it is time to look at my head every now and then…it could have saved me from a lot of trouble in the past year. Sometimes I went with my heart even knowing that it was the wrong thing to do, just because it felt good at the time. The short term benefits made for long term misery.
    I feel lost today.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:14am

  400. 400: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I’m feeling the urge to snoop really bad, I know and feel this is wrong.
    I can’t get the gremlins out.
    Need some encouragement. Need some reading.
    I love my trust issues.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:15am

  401. 401: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    (((bab))) I feel angry at him…I’m sorry…I feel triggered…I wonder if we make too many excuses for men on this island?
    He should know better…you are blameless.
    Please text you guy friends when you are in his company ….do it the same way he is doing…
    Also if possible do you think you can come home late and saying u were helping a friend?
    His behavior is clearly showing he is not going to change and he is not really even getting the way you feel…
    I am giving u this advie because it has worked for me..
    I am sure he will understand where u are coming from….if he can feel the feelings you feel..

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:22am

  402. 402: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    I know it’s difficult but do not snoop. The truth, good or bad, will come to the light without snooping. All that will get you is guilt. I’ve done it, I was actually right about what I thought I was snooping for and nothing good came from it.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:23am

  403. 403: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    I realised something amazing last night, as I blogged about earlier. Yes the ex treated me badly, but last night as I was feeling angry with him and experiencing some of his anger, I realised this is about my own anger.

    It didn’t feel good at the time, it felt hazy and foggy and hateful and bad, but I knew I had touched something important.

    This morning it still felt hazy but as the day progressed, I started to feel better. Then I realised today, why the ex came into my life in the first place. To trigger me! To reveal my anger to me. For the first time ever, this did not feel bad to me.

    It abides next to love for myself, and my ability to accept myself, and then other people.

    Thank you Rori! This revelation was helped by something I read of yours. This feels so much better.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:26am

  404. 404: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    I have also been one to try to show a man how he makes me feel by doing what he does….never worked when I did it intentionally. When I was just living my life and happened to be doing some of the same things, then they understood.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:30am

  405. 405: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I feel unsettled, also with all this election stuff. It seems to bring out the competitiveness in people and arguments etc. Brrr. I am such a freak for harmony. I want to live in cloud cuckoo land, really.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:30am

  406. 406: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Heart- I felt super triggered by your first post as well lol
    I feel your advice is harsh and maybe a little counter sorry but that’s just how it feels to me, you may be totally right but i feel like it is triggering me to want to control and snoop and lock down my heart so I can’t be hurt.
    I know I give him way too many passes Iam working through this.
    I will take your advice to heart and feel it out.
    I do txt other guys while with him but I have been putting texting them back till I’m not with him or in our time, and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stop doing this. It just feels so much like, If I put that negative energy put there he will give it back
    you know?! Idk if this is making sense. Thank you for your advice it’s is appreciated I just really have to be carful with anything that feels like retaliation, that’s a HUGE trigger for me.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:32am

  407. 407: TamNo Gravatar says:

    The friendship/whatever it was has ended alas, the triggers keep coming.
    I am still unpacking stuff from my little storage room here on my floor next to my Condo. I just unearthed the keyboard that MrP bought me a few months ago, when he found out that I used to play the piano. It turned out to be of great comfort to me although I protested when we were at the fleamarket and he insisted on buying it (we had a little fight over this). We then came back to my Condo and he made me play and learnt a couple of songs with me. It was fun.
    Afterwards, every time I felt a little lonely or had nothing to do, I would practice a song on the keyboard…it made me quite happy. Just before I left, I wrapped it carefully to protect it from the moisture and dust in storage. I just saw it again behind another box. I have decided to leave it in there wrapped up. Urgh.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:41am

  408. 408: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – thank you…you’re right…I just want to do it to get attention from him! Wow…thanks for that…when I move myself to a place where I want to unfriend him cuz he feels like baggage or negative energy…I’ll do so…But for now…I’ll just do nothing.
    He barely posts.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:43am

  409. 409: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    Tam I know the yacht thing with the rich guy expecting you to line up to get his food wasn’t supposed to be funny, but it made me LOL!! 😉

    What a bloody nerve!! I do find men who have money expect more, maybe because they are used to gold diggers throwing themselves at them?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:45am

  410. 410: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Yes it is never a good feeling after not even joy if I didn’t find anything. Ad more often then not I can tell with in the first few mins if im being lied too, that’s another reason why I am having a hard time right now.
    I am making a promise to myself I will not snoop today. I feel sad for my poor heart, for having to be vulnerable when all she wants to do is protect and dig in. I love my negative expectations.

    402 I agree it’s happened the same for me..

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:46am

  411. 411: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    #389 Heart

    Can you elaborate on what you did to make the FM’s work when the actual messages themselves didn’t?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:48am

  412. 412: TamNo Gravatar says:

    407, yes SMB, he was probably used to getting all the attention, actually reminded me of a diva.
    A male diva.
    In fact, strangely enough, he sent me an email saying that I apparently left a great impression with his friends and they all commented on how nice I am and to keep in touch bla bla.
    We’ll see. I did like some of them also, quite a mixed and interesting bunch.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:49am

  413. 413: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    Ooops Heart, sorry I just saw you did explain what you meant to BAB.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:51am

  414. 414: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Tam I just read an EMK email that suggests two questions as the criteria for kinda qualifying a man:- how much does he like me and how safe I feel around him. Interesting that this guy can express how much his friends like you but did not articulate how much he likes you. I can help but wonder if he wants you to keep in touch as an email penpal or a possible hostess for his yacht? Sorry.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:56am

  415. 415: TamNo Gravatar says:

    412..yes FW, I had that EMK email too.
    To be fair, I couldn’t care less about the yacht guy…but his friends were nice and they invited me to something already…so all in all not bad…I need to meet new people, so he has been useful to me already 😉
    I don’t intend to become a penpal or yacht hostess.
    I don’t even like his boat, I prefer a small bay runner type of thing where a small me can hop in and out of the water….guess I ought to find a poor guy…or a fisherman? That would suit me much better. ha!! :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:09am

  416. 416: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    Just read the EMK email, thanks ladies, very very true.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:16am

  417. 417: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Can I ask what a EMK email is?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:17am

  418. 418: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Urge feelings to be like “What the he11?” and I feel intense and angry. tsk tsk. I will not give into these urges. Doing so wouldn’t serve me in any way at all. Though I do love them! The urges serve me, yes. But acting on them, giving into them does not. Feeling them is what really serves me. And feeling puffed up proud for allowing them to flow through my body un-restrained and not giving in. And by the end of this post….Right about….Now. They are gone :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:18am

  419. 419: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    ooooOoOo a rugged sexy fisherman with calloused hands and a rough exterior but a gentle soul.

    Yum. :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:19am

  420. 420: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    BAB 370

    Keep on keeping on!

    Your post triggered some thoughts in me but I will post them separately because they’re not really advice, just my experience around this.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:23am

  421. 421: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    356: Daria – Just read your comment just now. What happened was is he started talking to me without looking at me, complimenting me, and by the time he looked over I was already beaming.

    and all I could do was go; “awwww!”

    Sometimes, it seems like guys don’t like that because it makes them feel less manly or something?

    but when I do that, it’s because I’m speechless and feeling gushy and girly and can’t think of anything else to say…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:31am

  422. 422: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    catching up…


    Thinking of you, sweetheart. You are amazing!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:32am

  423. 423: TamNo Gravatar says:

    417 Miss, yeah well the rough exterior but gentle soul didn’t work so well for me….but I am not opposed to having another go at finding an alpha male…hehe…maybe a little less grunting and man caving and a little more communication would be nice next time :)
    I have dreams 😉

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:34am

  424. 424: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix- Thank you:) and alrighty!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:35am

  425. 425: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I remember very well how it felt when I started using FMs to express myself. What I felt when saying what I felt. The anxiety and worry. Many shoulder shrugs and turning my head away. Feeling guilt and shame even. Feeling fear that it wouldn’t “work” but knowing deep down somewhere inside of me that if I managed to just GET IT OUT and get through it, it was working. Because the basic reason for doing it was…Doing it!

    I also knew intellectually that the message would not be as well received if I felt shame and anxiety and worry while expressing it. Counterproductive, really. Because the whole idea is to feel without being worried about feeling. This is the place we come from when we are well and positively recieved (which may not always look positive-anger in response, for example, can still be positive without looking positive at the time). There is so much to learn…I worked really hard to let go of that worry and shame and guilt and anxiety because I desired to just be heard and accepted. But what I see now was that I could not let it go. I had to, instead, let it be. And just keep on going. And eventually those tense feelings sort of evaporated on their own with time and practice. That was when my magic started to happen. Only within the past couple months, really…

    I do feel a bit…I dunno? Guilty…Wary maybe? I know myself so well and I know G so well and both of our personalities come into play in this. Big time. Which will never fully come across over the net…I feel a bit of tension and my mind says “someone might emulate you, and it might be disasterous because they haven’t spent time with you. They don’t know how you talk or how he talks or how you fit together, or the flirty nature of you both.”. But i’m trying to think it’s ok. I trust in others to do only what is right for them. I felt emulated yesterday, and that’s ok. My teeth clenched and I sucked in a breath and blew it out. And that’s ok too. Ahhh yeah I am wayyyyy digressing here. This no longer even relates to what I am saying so I will move on from this.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:43am

  426. 426: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    My snooping urges are dwindling. I feel good in the thought that I’m letting go of that urge.
    I love my need to know urges. It’s self destructive in a way and I recognize this.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:49am

  427. 427: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    #404 Bab – Wow. I feel surprised. I feel bad my post triggered you. And your right getting angry and acting out of it and retaliating is Horrible for both you and him….I generally try my best not to do that…In any case that was not what I’m taking about…what I am suggesting is only to be done after expressing feelings and after having those feelings somewhat disregarded….it has worked for me… But I was coming from a good place when doing these things…

    Many times I have watched people receive my feeling messages with compassion and care and there was an opening up and so on…but they did not change the way they behaved towards me …unless I did what they did back at them (in an obvious kind of way..almost like mimicking). Not to spite but to enlighten.
    I was only trying to help. I feel regretful now.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:55am

  428. 428: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel a lil strange talking about this, but I kinda want to. I feel so amazed by the feminine cycle. I feel like I’m given special powers; before, during, and right after it.

    Before is probably the worst part of me. It feels like I’m carrying all the weight and pain in my life around and feeling it all over again. Everything feels sharp, my awareness of pain, sadness, and anger is heightened. There’s also this deep sadness; a kind of grief that is searching, universal, and deep.

    Then, the relief I feel when my body lets go of its baby prep. Its strange that with the flow of blood comes the sweetest emotional relief. (sorry if anyone is feeling grossed out by this.)

    I’ve never really had a problem with cramps, so I love the relief I feel during this time in my cycle.

    and then, when the flow lightens up, it is as though the weight of the world is truly lifted, and I can see everything with fresh eyes, and men seem more drawn to me than ever. Obviously, that time feels great!

    and then the cycle repeats. As frustrating, emotionally intense, and submissive as being a woman is, I really do love being a woman! Especially now, when our power is finally being appreciated.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:56am

  429. 429: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    Sirens, I am feeling curious about something. How do you define or experience “masculinity”?? This has come up for me recently and I’m having a hard time articulating what that means to me. I’d love to hear what you ladies think about this.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:57am

  430. 430: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    RE 401 Indigo I know what you mean. Yesterday an ex contacted me and I felt all the tingling and excitement inside me just listening to his voicemail. He asked me to call him back but I picked up the message 2 hours later. When I did I did not get him. I woke up this morning thinking about him. But I also found myself feeling really open to letting love him. I feel confident enough to tell him, if he asks me out that right now I am feeling open to romance so only will if I will be hugged, and cuddled and kissed to the point where I feel like melting onto myself and purring like a cat. Otherwise it would be pointless. I feel so comfortable with myself and my needs that I feel no resistance to saying this to anyone.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:58am

  431. 431: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    CurvySiren for me it is in the tone of voice and a certain strength in the energy I feel coming out of the voice. I experience it with a man if he is offering to take care of something to help me. If he is wearing a earthy scent when I go up close and I feel his beard stubble massaging my face, my cheeks. I could give more but I believe it means different things for different people and believe that these are unique to me.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:03am

  432. 432: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like prickly and shy like I don’t know how to meet men anymore??!!! Aww I don’t know why. I need to practice waterwheel and I’m all that and I know it will work and maybe that’s what scares me lol

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:03am

  433. 433: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I love my mona lisa smile and the mischievous glint in my eyes. My giggles and thrusted tongue. I love that i’m always so deep inside myself, especially when something feels important. I love my furrowed brow and the circular wave of my hand when i’m trying to find the word for the feeling. I love my “whatever, I dunno, I can’t express it right now lets drop it.”. I love that people see us as “in another world” sometimes. I love that unbreakable mutual focus that speaks more than any words. Eye contact and slow synchronized mutual smiles that say “we have a secret”. I love my throwing my head back squeal and giggles when he bites my neck. My instant body fold when his finger goes for my belly. I do love the way we are together. Immensely. Over the top. Fun. Passionate. Big huge personalities. Quiet soft and gentle. I do love that I am looking out for him in looking out for me. I do love that he is looking out for me in forcefully looking out for me. I won’t, I don’t fight that anymore. So much progress. No more running. I love this today.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:04am

  434. 434: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    RE 417 – Yeah rugged. That feels masculine and sexy to me.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:05am

  435. 435: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    428 omg fw I love what you said … I wish I had the wherewithal to say that to recycled back in the day!!!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:05am

  436. 436: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Emerson hindsight is 20/20. I believe the shift is happening inside me as I focus on myself and work the tools. I couldn’t say that kind of thing just a short while ago. Now I am sure I can and will be prepared when the opportunity presents itself. Cdating and talking to me is helping me along the way.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:08am

  437. 437: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    talking to “men”

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:08am

  438. 438: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Heart 425- Aww this makes so much more sense to me now. Before i was interpreting your tone to be malicious in a may I guess, not towards me but in the suggestion that I should be do unto him what he’s doing to me. I guess I went to that place because it feels mean to me, how he was acting after I used a feeling message and he saw it clearly effected me what he was doing. So I feel I put that feeling of meanness into your advice for me.
    I see now more clearly what you are suggesting and see the sense in it. He is more respective to my actions then words sometimes so it may prove to be helpful.
    I feel I will have to heal my resentment towards the action and him before trying this tho:( I’m not sure how I would keep myself from going into a negative state when mimicking him. I apologize for projecting my negative feelings into your words and suggestions. I assume so much at times…
    I love my assumptions.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:09am

  439. 439: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Masculinity…strength, decision making, being able to lean on, comforting, rational, fixing, supporting, harsh, loud, bossy, caring, taking charge.

    That is what came to my mind without thinking much about it so please be aware of that, kind of a brain storming.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:09am

  440. 440: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Not gross! Lovely. I am on day 1 right now and feeling that relief. Feeling the weight of the pre emotions and feelings lifting and the release of that tension and burden. I feel light and free and happy today. This is a cleansing time, and you’re right, a fresh start in a few days. :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:11am

  441. 441: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I feel the need to re-read Roris ebook. I wish i could afford a fee of the actual programs.. I need them.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:11am

  442. 442: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    He texted me first today, felt wonderful to not have to reach out. Iam soaking in the feelings that he’s only doing this because he doesn’t want me to be mad at him, or nag at him anymore.
    I see how I am looking at things very negatively today, he is doing this in a positive light because he cares about my feelings and what Iam saying,. And even tho he may not have fully grasped what I was feeling and saying last night,on some level he understood and is keeping his word to try harder. I appreciate this.

    Ugh wondering if i am making rationalizing this..

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:17am

  443. 443: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Ohh negative nelly… I love you! Lol uhhhh

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:24am

  444. 444: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    #436 – Bab – I feel happy to read that…thank you for taking the time to reassure me. I have not tried that approach with a man I was emotionally invested in…so I can understand your hesitation….it’s so easy to express our feelings, explore, experiment on dates/conversation with men that we are not invested in….But men, we are into….The Simpliest things carry so much weight.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:25am

  445. 445: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    muah muah xoxo negative nelly xoxoxo

    hehe I love my negative nelly self

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:26am

  446. 446: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Physical strength. Determined. Solid. Stubborn. Take charge. Thinking. Doing. Rough. Humourous. Present. One track focus. Big hands. Firm touch. In control. Provider. Physical s3xuality.

    I am trying to picture the masculine expression of emotion now.

    I see seated position: elbows on knees, rounded back, clenched fists with forhead resting on them.

    Standing position: Wide stance slightly c0cked to one side. Shoulders up. Arms out to the front, palms open and up, and moving out to the side. Shoulders raising higher.

    Body language and facial expression of emotion. Not so much in words.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:27am

  447. 447: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    correction “But I also found myself feeling really open to letting love in”.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:27am

  448. 448: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    FW, Tam and MissStix… thank you for your input. Awesome stuff. Very interesting and helpful!! :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:31am

  449. 449: CamilleNo Gravatar says:

    Do any of you have Committment Blueprint and would it be the program I need most at this time? I have been dating a man for 7 months now

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:41am

  450. 450: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I’m not ready to accept that CudG has poofed…
    I can’t kill the hope…I’m trying ….lol….I mean I try tellin myself all the means things to kill the hope…
    So I need to make peace with this hope…Maybe being a little hung up on a guy is just part of life…

    I Regret Bailing on him…I guess I was just developing feelings for him and it scared me…
    But…I’m keeping on my horse..

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:43am

  451. 451: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    i have invested years of my time and thousands of dollars in ending marijuana prohibition. I put my career on hold for a year and a half to serve as a director at the campaign. I organized hundreds of events to change the way people think about prohibition.

    And today is the day the voters will decide on it in my state.

    I feel so jittery and proud.

    There’s going to be an amazing party tonight to celebrate all our hard work and dedication.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:43am

  452. 452: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Femininewoman- Lol I love how we posted almost the same thing:) yay negativity lol

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:45am

  453. 453: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    camille, c blueprint is totally for you

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:46am

  454. 454: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Heart- You’re very welcome! You are spot on with the guys we are invested in. 5 years and a lot of time between us. Makes for a great deal of nerves from this lady:) lol
    Love my nerves!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:48am

  455. 455: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    Starla, I can’t wait to hear about the celebration!!! :) :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:48am

  456. 456: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Starla- You should come to MN and help us out:) lol

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:50am

  457. 457: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    I got this skirt to wear to the party with a neutral/tan tank top tucked in underneath and some taaallll black heels, gonna look awesome!—petites/prod.jump?ppId=pp5001790609&catId=cat1001600008&deptId=dept20000013&N=4294965461&topDim=Product+Type&topDimvalue=skirts&dimCombo=Product+Type|&dimComboVal=skirts|&currentDim=Product+Type&currentDimVal=skirts

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:51am

  458. 458: CamilleNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks Starla……….I have Siren and Toxic men…….but since those I broke up with the man I was living with and starting circular dating and now Im involved with D……its great but we have not “spoken” of being exclusive etc. etc………..Its at a place where Id like it to move forward or I need to pursue other options! So I was wondering about Bluprint and if any of you had experience with the program

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 8:52am

  459. 459: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    #452 (((bab)))

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:00am

  460. 460: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Calypso was it you or JC have a birthday coming up?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:06am

  461. 461: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Support coming at you from here in VanCity. Keep fighting the fight to decriminalize!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:06am

  462. 462: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    Oh that is adorable Starla!! Love it! And sending tons of support and positive vibes for the outcome today!! :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:11am

  463. 463: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Ok, I will light up and send all my positive vibes the way of ending prohibition for Starla!

    We are not criminals. We are not addicts. I have first hand experience with addiction and marijuana just doesn’t fit into that category. Lets end the misinformation. It can be done. I am rooting for you starla. I feel passionately about this.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:13am

  464. 464: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Can anyone describe to me the feeling Rori talks about when you have put in the effort and your man starts to come back after withdrawing and you all the sudden get everything you wanted from him, but you feel like you don’t care anymore.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:13am

  465. 465: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you, ladies! I strongly believe with all my heart and soul and 4 years of university education that marijuana prohibition needs to end. It means so much to me to have your support on this issue, and also to just let the voters finally decide!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:20am

  466. 466: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    I can’t support your mission Starla but I can support your party in celebration of all your hard work and dedication as well as that skirt! LOVE that skirt! :-)

    Much Love,

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:22am

  467. 467: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    BAB/Rebekah – 462 – That happened to me (before I knew Rori). My husband at the time wanted me back…he wanted us to work everything out…he wanted the family kept in tact. I was emotionally shut down though. Nothing he said or did could fix it. I was turned off and tired and just wanted to get past it. I can’t explain the feeling any better than my daily prayer of “Please don’t let me have to see or talk to him today, please!”. I was desperate for times when I didn’t have to deal with him. And he was making that very hard by doing/saying everything I wanted him to do/say for the previous SEVERAL years.

    I was completely emotionally disconnected. It was a horrible feeling…for both of us.

    Much Love,

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:26am

  468. 468: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    one day, when marijuana is only available in regulated stores and your children have a much harder time getting their hands on it because they have to show ID, just like with alcohol and cigarettes, you will understand my mission.

    I love the skirt! And I’m glad to say it looks cuter on me than on that model:P

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:33am

  469. 469: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Mercedes- Humm ok thank you for sharing.
    I don’t have that feeling so I’m taking that as a positive.
    I do recognize in me the wanting it to be done, but I feel like I want it to be a good done.. ( us together, intact )
    I do feel myself closing off emotions and I don’t get the same sense of excitement every time he texts or does something nice and this worries my heart:(

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:35am

  470. 470: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    for the record, i really don’t want to talk politics here. the skirt is where it’s at.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:35am

  471. 471: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    I support all of it Starla. 😉 …and yeah, that skirt is soo cute! I bet you look amazing in it! :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:40am

  472. 472: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    BAB/Rebekah – Yeah. I was done by the time it happened for me so I really can’t help with how it feels to have him do those things when you’re not done. I mean, I was DONE and SURE of it! I’m sorry your heart is worried…I wish I could help. :-(

    Starla: “one day, when marijuana is only available in regulated stores and your children have a much harder time getting their hands on it because they have to show ID, just like with alcohol and cigarettes, you will understand my mission.” With all due respect, no I won’t. But for me it’s personal and not political. And on a personal level and a personal note, I will not come around to that way of thinking. I only ask that those who do feel that way respect my way of thinking as well. We don’t have to agree on any sensitive subject ever, and that’s okay. :-) Mutual respect is a positive step in the direction of peace among people who can’t always agree.

    Much Love,

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:44am

  473. 473: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    I respect everyone’s way of thinking, and pray that if it’s personal belief guiding them rather than political, they won’t force their personal beliefs on me politically.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:50am

  474. 474: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    LOL! Nope…we’ll just vote from our hearts haha! :-) Thank you Starla…I appreciate that very, very much!

    Much Love,

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:51am

  475. 475: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    I sooo want to call in sick tomorrow so i can stay up late celebrating, but alas…. i’m busy as f*ck here.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:52am

  476. 476: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Meh, politics I don’t care about. I only support decriminalization.

    The skirt is hawt and cute and professional all at the same time. Rock on!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:00am

  477. 477: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    thanks! i can’t wait to get all gussied up for the party!

    the really old CD is gonna be there:P

    so is my ex that brought me to this blog years ago. bwahahahhaa. eat your heart out

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:12am

  478. 478: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    “Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.”

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:26am

  479. 479: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Ugh I’m feeling so dithered by this process. I wanna txt him and feel that easy banter we used to have. I don’t like this strained waiting for him to reach out thing. It makes me feel so stressed when I go to respond. All these should I? What if I? I’ll just say? Oh wait don’t respond so soon.. Crap going through my head. I feel sad and down cast by this.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:38am

  480. 480: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:39am

  481. 481: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Rebekah for being so honest with yourself and for staying open even tho it hurts. You are loved! Everything is alright.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:44am

  482. 482: FlowerChild77No Gravatar says:

    LOVE the skirt, Starla 😉

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:50am

  483. 483: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    He’s making an effort, this warms my heart. I will not judge the tone of the convo, I will not project my own feelings into our mood. I will love these feelings and be positive. Thank you negativity, but now it’s time to go!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 10:54am

  484. 484: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    i actually have pics of me in it, maybe i should join the sirens group on fb so i can be sharing this stuff!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:02am

  485. 485: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    This resonates with me. I commit to use the power of my mind to commit to creating the relationship I want.

    “In the end, a commitment stems from a solid decision about what you want to pursue with your life. As such, your commitments are powerful shapers of your future. A commitment is a promise to take action. It is the action of bringing your attention back to the decisions you made for your life over and over again, and persisting in this even in the face of disappointments.”

    James Bauer

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:11am

  486. 486: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    It is not necessarily the physical danger of a storm, or a war that can cause the damage, but the threat to everything else housed in your body too – your Boundary, your Self-esteem, and even your sense of identity – which for women will include their femininity and for men, their sense of masculinity. Studies of public shootings and the area of the brain called the Thalamus show that it is a relay center between a source of pain, and the meaning that the cerebral cortex eventually makes of it. Both nerve impulses from damaged tissue in the body, as well as charged up impulses coming from the emotional centers of the brain go into the Thalamus, so as far as the Thalamus goes, pain is pain is pain – it’s all bad. A hurtful comment to it feels no different from a punch to the face.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:18am

  487. 487: HeartNo Gravatar says:


    shake shake shake senora♬

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:19am

  488. 488: FlowerChild77No Gravatar says:

    That would be fun, Starla :-) I think BW can add you or Radlove.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:28am

  489. 489: DominiqueNo Gravatar says:

    BAB -370 – You done good, sweetheart. You were real. The stumbling with words is real. The asking for a moment is brilliant. It was fine. You did fine, beautifully.


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:33am

  490. 490: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Would love to see your pic starla!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:39am

  491. 491: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    yay Actor CD reappeared and asked me out, and i said 2 days ahead

    even tho i been feeling lonely, and i Dont have plans tonite

    im sticking w Daria’s experiment of 2 days ahead planning

    and the calming/ less urgent effect it has on my planning

    and actually it Has had a calming effect immediately, as now instead of feeling urgent to quell my loneliness tonite

    if shifted to a feeling of joy at having these 2 days as me-time and looking forward to a date


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:39am

  492. 492: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Dominique- I feel so smiley right now, I’m so thankful to have so many ppl willing to give reassurance and support! Such a wonderful kick in the butt to keep going forward:)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:40am

  493. 493: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i DO act that way and make that effort to bring my mind back to what i chose to manifest

    it does feel powerful to me

    also, i feel triggred and disempowered by the “take action” wording

    i don’t ‘get’ how i “take” action ugh

    i like to rephrase it as i act, or in an yang verb form

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:41am

  494. 494: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Date night with myself tonight, gonna vote after work then grab dinner do my toes and finish reading CCs book. Yay me time,

    Feeling anxious about below feeling message.

    I hope I get out on time to vote,

    Him: Me to! I’m sure you’ll be fine tho.

    :)Thank you sweetheart! Feels great to have your reassurance.

    I love my anxiety! It feels funny not to get a response, but I feel good for trying to squeeze them in as much as I can to practice. Lord knows I can use it:) lol love me.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:46am

  495. 495: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    me personally i would hate that

    i like that children can use marijuana and any herbs i don’t want my friend mj less available

    one day when humans have healed and gotten into the rhythm of life with earth and the other beings and pleasure and comfort and health and love feels secure and nourishing and nurturing and consistent and plants and children and growner children and old people and spirit people are included it will feel lovely and im choosing that now actually


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:46am

  496. 496: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    2 days without the man cause i’m working evenings. He will be sleeping at his house. Feels good to have a couple days to myself, yet I feel his absence already. I recieved a text this morning, and kind of accidentally waited a little too long to respond…3 hours hehe oh well. Time keeps on slippin’ slippin’. :) Now I get to have a nice long map before leaving for work. zzzZzzZzz

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:55am

  497. 497: DominiqueNo Gravatar says:

    BAB – 408 – and also anyone else tempted to snoop. please don’t. you won’t feel good no matter what you do or do not find.


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:57am

  498. 498: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    Dominique – 495 – TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!!!!!

    Much Love,

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:01pm

  499. 499: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I am proud to say i didn’t and I don’t plan too! I am stronger then that. I love my vulnerability, it’s so new!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:02pm

  500. 500: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    i wonder how memulo is

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:02pm

  501. 501: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you for calling me out! Haha love it!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:04pm

  502. 502: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    hugged cuddled and kissed to where i feel im melting into myself and purring like a cat .

    then i feel open to be turned on sexually as well

    yipee yipee

    i feel excited

    so many men want to please me and my pussy has healed from yesterday whew

    it feels triggering to think of letting all these men close wow wowie wowie it feels awesome

    ‘liberated woman’ is going thru my head

    i can keep it real and keep seeing msyelf as sacred and sexy yes yes yes heeeee

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:05pm

  503. 503: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    We were talking about missing each other and I expressed it feels more difficult to fall asleep when i’m by myself. And he told me to put his t-shirt on a pillow and I see he left one here. :) I felt so cared for to hear that. I have no desire to actually do it lol but feels sweet to hear such a cute suggestion.

    I did smell the shirt though HAHA 😀 mmmm

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:06pm

  504. 504: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    501-Awwww so cute!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:10pm

  505. 505: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    oh i just saw No Name CD said he’s still sick am i busy this weekend… but i didn’t answer him and this was yesterday evening

    and i feel unsure whether to answer now lol heee

    this feels so lovely

    i feel excited to practice expressing my sexual boundaries about being very turned on with No Name CD

    im seeing how having these other CD’s getting close to me sexually is Helping me not feel like i am under pressure not to lose No Name CD and makes it easier for me to be honest about what feels good and doesn’t in love making

    i feel a lil worried cuz Scorpio CD seemed to get dejected a bit that we’re not having sex yet (my interpretation) or he thinks hes always getting brushed off/pushed back (im just shy giggling and adjusting myself at times)

    and that feels triggering for me cuz i have a belief that no guy will have the awareness and energy to take the time to really turn me on slowly and arouse me, they will start rushing as soon as they get very turned on

    and its on me and im practicing babysteps

    and now that im not holding on to No Name CD i feel inspired to be honest with him and share about what i dont want!


    and earlier i felt worried that he would not be willing to provide that an leave, but not i don’t feel worried about it!


    this is freakin awesome

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:10pm

  506. 506: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i told Scorpio CD i feel like im falling in love with him

    i got into this gushy about him mood

    i stopped at some point cuz i felt concerned that maybe it was an old pattern of flowing toward him rather than keep the flow to me

    i also told him i wish i lived with him and he could take care of me lol

    omg i feel so vulnerable saying that

    awww Daria is starting to open up about what she wants and she used to judge herself about as needy crazy and unattractive

    i feel uncomfortable even sharing that here


    clap clap clap calp calp

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:14pm

  507. 507: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    lama –

    “Sometimes, it seems like guys don’t like that because it makes them feel less manly or something?”

    i always say aww but i mean it in aan “AWW it feels so good to me” and men respond really well to that

    Scorpio CD doesn’t like getting called ‘cute’ he said… that kinda awe… but he’s starting to look to me like my cat and i just want to cuddle and squeeze him. i actually do like doing this to men it lets all my heart stress go into squeezing them

    so maybe if the AWW is about the woman it feels good to them, but “aww you’re so cute baby” does not? i feel confused cuz so many times i feel touched when he does something i think is endearing soft and cute


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:19pm

  508. 508: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Daria- You make it sound so easy, and exciting to be single lol if I were, I would totally be living vicariously through you right now! Yay CDing.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:19pm

  509. 509: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im going to practice pouring all that ‘you’re so adorable’ love on me

    i do think its a past pattern, cuz it even led to me calling a CD “princess’ way back cuz it seemed ‘cute’ to me but he didn’t like it and i think its a way to cover up my own vulnerability

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:21pm

  510. 510: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Rebekah – really wow i feel very big with myself hearing that :)

    im REALLY enjoying it, my Modern Siren intention was to be able to date any man i want and im doing REALLY well with that

    i am also babystepping towards my ever after of love family and natural life and web of people who love me :) yay!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:23pm

  511. 511: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Miss Stix – aww i feel all shoulders up to ears and smile with eyes rolled up in pleasure

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:25pm

  512. 512: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Daria-I’m glad!:) also thank you for using my real name lol feel honest to me, for some reason.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:26pm

  513. 513: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Iv practiced so much growing up to be a guy, so I could get them to like me more then my cuter sister lol just realizing I did this to protect how I saw myself as a girl. (Less) no wonder I still struggle with my man talking to other girls I see as (more) of a girl then me.. Ohh goodness this hurts.sister issues!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:32pm

  514. 514: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    They definitely saw me and liked me more, but as a guy, not the scared lonely girl I was inside!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:34pm

  515. 515: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    ohhhhh it was way easier to open up to Scorpio CD now that i stopped thinking about whether he is or not Bisexual

    now im starting to think about whether his dick is small and i will feel disappointed looking at it or feeling it tho i think feeling it not, but just the idea that i dont have a man with a big dick is a triggering insecurity thing for me, like i get self esteem from my man having a big dick hmmm

    i can heal this and i feel sad thinking of healing it like im giving something up and i know i will get to a wonderful place with this if i allow my horse to lead me

    ahhh it felt way easier


    then at another time i felt worried he was like a lesbian woman who had jumped on top fo me – thats the feeling i got! wow smh


    and i finally felt on his dick – i literally said i want to feel your dick and remembered Rori demoonstrated how to do this in Love Scripts so i touched it thru the pants

    and he does have a dick

    it didn’t seem big, but there was a dick, so now i no longer am going to worry if he’s a lesbian when we’re in the dark

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:37pm

  516. 516: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    RE 512 – How do you know that is true?

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:38pm

  517. 517: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    514: Humm very good point.. Maybe they did see the scared girl, maybe they didn’t like me more. Food for thought.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:41pm

  518. 518: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Femminiwoman- Can I ask what your initial thought was for asking that question!? You’ve peeked my curiosity.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 12:43pm

  519. 519: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Rebekah – Ever heard the term “open secret”? Sometimes the thing that we believe is careful hidden from public view is the thing the public energetically feel and see openly in our intention. For some reason I assumed that those boys were interacting with the “boy” persona to let the little girl know that she was loved and accepted. I feel kinda certain they knew the “boy” was just a mask or act and they looked beyond that to try to accept the real you.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:04pm

  520. 520: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Kids have this intrinsic knowing.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:04pm

  521. 521: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Awwww that is n awesome to read! Thank you for posting that! I never ever thought of it this way.. Humm I like it, makes me feel not so sad about trying so hard to be a boy.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:07pm

  522. 522: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    519 @ 517*

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:08pm

  523. 523: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Rebekah & Feminine Woman – aww that feels really nurturing and healing for me too

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:12pm

  524. 524: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    “:: Practicing For Peace ::

    When learning a new skill such as painting, tennis,
    piano, etc., *practicing* is essential to mastery.

    Today, when you’re in a good mood, you can play the
    following “mind game” to practice the *inner* skill of
    creating peace:

    1. Imagine your child doing something that
    would normally upset you.

    2. Notice how you perceive the behavior to be
    wrong, unacceptable, annoying, embarrassing,
    offensive, or hurtful.

    3. Now pretend it’s your first day on Earth
    and you don’t “know” that the behavior is
    “wrong” and that you’re *supposed* to be

    4. Deliberately choose the latter, more
    peaceful perspective and gently release the
    stressful one. Tell yourself, “I’m *free* to
    choose inner peace. (Or not.) It’s *my*

    Play this game several times, starting with minor
    annoyances and working up to major “button-pushing”
    behaviors. You can even make it fun by thinking of
    ridiculously outrageous behaviors and still choosing

    With practice, you’ll find it easier to stay centered
    and peaceful when your child actually “misbehaves,”
    and to respond to your child with compassion and

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:15pm

  525. 525: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    ohhh this reminds me of that one tool i got from Scott Noelle and my imagination of ‘voting’ whether im choosing to respond w ‘negativity’ or ‘peace/positivity’

    and that i have a choice

    and then that choice that i get to make it , even if i choose negativity riding on my train if intensity and habit and what choice im used to and comfortable making

    im making a choice and that helped me have the built in pause


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:17pm

  526. 526: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    now i feel worried that ScorpioCD is not gonna contact me for a long time because i was the last one to call and i even called when he had said he wanted to see me sunday but he never called sunday and then i called him,

    and im going to vote for peace on this one

    and aslo no name CD i havent answered his text


    i could get all worked up in my head of if i shouldnt or shoudl ….

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:19pm

  527. 527: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    For those of you who dig astrology; my chart state I am a loner and marriage in not for me. I have Uranus in my 7th house; sign of breaking up relationships suddenly and need of freedom. According to Caroll Allen; It will be like 20 years for me before I get a chance to meet a substantial relationship… Yuck!

    I got potential to become a writer, an artist, a leader, but Romance? nope!

    I wonder if I should believe it… lol

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:23pm

  528. 528: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    “> We are living our dream by having me home with our children,
    > so I guess part of my problem/mistake is attaching money/salary
    > to a person’s worth and contribution to the family.

    So, if you weren’t available to do what you do and your husband wanted to replace what you do with equal quality:

    How much would it cost to hire a full time caretaker for your kids?

    And someone to choose and deliver groceries?

    And someone to run errands?

    And replace the meals you cook with takeout?

    And to clean the house?

    And anything else you do currently?

    It might be more than he makes 😉


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:25pm

  529. 529: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Another one for the LOA: I was watching that movie I told you all about, “Think Like A Man.” And there’s a scene where the successful woman meets an up and coming sexy chef and he cooks her amazing food to woo her (cause that’s all he has). I love food so I said to myself “yeah, I want that!” With no negativity, no telling myself why it can’t happen. Then it just occurred to me while I was driving home….this new guy on that i started talking to Friday has a passion for cooking, like chef looking types of food. I nearly did a seal clap I was so excited. I actually got what I wanted!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:32pm

  530. 530: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    ScorpioCD said you know im not goin nowhere (as in he’s gonna keep seeing me)

    and he also said how he feels like we’ve hugn out by my house for liek 3 weeks (but its really been only 3 dates) hehehe

    i feel all lovely thinking of that

    i have a lot of resentment towards ActorCD for our last drama conversation and for not contacting me for quite awhile

    i want to drop that and feel good with him i feel a lil grabby towards him cuz i feel all fascinated with him


    i want MORE CDs hahaha

    oh okay that feeling of fulfillendess and having time for myself to sort clothes and do my movementes and get ready for dates 2 days from now is not here really any longer

    now im feeling excitement and maybe urgency like whats poppin tonite… hmmm


    im so aware i love that how much i care about me

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:41pm

  531. 531: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i got a Stuttering CD wanting to come see me saturday he seems real nice

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:42pm

  532. 532: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Enough feeling sorry for myself. If Mr. Conversation disappears from my life, I’d feel extremely sad about that…. but that’s his choice, and would be his loss too.

    I just need something else to think about. SO, I joined a couple meet ups, and might start one! Just need to think of something fun and put it together. :) I don’t like to drive to the city much, and a lot were down there. Will feel exciting to meet new people though, and to get myself out there. One, does lock and key parties! I also replied to an ex (Tom) that wanted to meet for drinks a few weeks ago, that I didn’t reply to. He’s in Boston for the week, invited me to fly up for a night, lol… but not in the budget, so going to meet up when he gets back. Tom is not enough conversation for me. But he’s nice and kind, always treats when we go out…. he’s a good CD, just not, or wasn’t main guy material. We shall see.

    Artist guy… we emailed and texted a little here and there, but never anything major. See if he steps up and asks me out.

    Feeling fed up with dating and men though. Really wanting to just focus on me and what I want. I seem to only focus on one thing at a time. Right now, I’d really like to focus on losing some weight and feeling better about my appearance. I’ll be 39 next month… would love to look better at 39 than I did at 29! :)

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:42pm

  533. 533: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    oh looky! i forgot but a CD rescheduled yesterday and i actually have a meeting with him tomorrow! :) at 6 30 for dinner

    yum food!

    i feel you on that Goddess Lily

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:44pm

  534. 534: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    No Name CD might want to see me on the weekend too as he’s texted to ask what im doing on the weekend

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:45pm

  535. 535: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    He he, strummingman just texed and I counted that he used the word feel 3 times! Love it. I feel giggly.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:46pm

  536. 536: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i texted him back! hehehe

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:47pm

  537. 537: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    I put some profiles up and I feel dirty; like I cheated myself… lol…. I got an email from a man saying I wasn’t real… no more emails. Maybe a scam, for selling myself so cheap with online dating; I should be above that…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:48pm

  538. 538: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im falling in love a lil bit with No Name CD too


    hehehehhe this is awesome

    i feel terrified lol and swept away adn giggly and joyful

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:48pm

  539. 539: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I want to go to dinner w someone…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 1:57pm

  540. 540: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    537: where are we going? Lol. I’m always thinking about food!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:02pm

  541. 541: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Lol I was thinking buffalo wold wings:) lol me and my girl friends at my old work called it our food porn, when we discussed food Haha

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:03pm

  542. 542: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:06pm

  543. 543: MercedesNo Gravatar says:

    Headed out to vote and then out with J to watch the results. The only thing I hate about not having tv is these “one off” situations where we have to find a place to go and watch.

    Hoping all eligible women get out there today. Hoping that regardless of how it all turns out, we as a country can join together to respect and support our leaders.

    Enjoy your evening ladies…

    Much Love,

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:13pm

  544. 544: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Feeling very down right now and annoyed.. I love these feelings..

    I love being alone tonight, I love putting myself out there and being ignored. I love all this….

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:21pm

  545. 545: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I need some lemon balm extract.. I wanna see if it works. I could use a mood booster.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:23pm

  546. 546: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Ohh sadness where did u come from? You aren’t missing anything, he is. You are fine!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 2:51pm

  547. 547: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Im starting to see that the reason why i feel i have to answer every txt and every call is because i feel that way if its something bad i can do something to fix it or make it ok some how. My urge to fix everything is strong..

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 4:37pm

  548. 548: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I love me like no one else. I love every recess of my body. I love me like iv never known, like the lungs love air and the sun loves on the clouds. Nothing will change withing my being with out me knowing. I love me like the crescent moon always fresh and always new. I love me.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 5:29pm

  549. 549: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:


    Love is not all lost – some astrologist say “discipline” may be the key. Also whether or not there are hard aspects to any planets in your 7H. Here is a helpful page:

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 5:55pm

  550. 550: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Leaning back
    Leaning back
    Leaning back
    It’s doing wonders for me today

    I’m going to bed feeling peaceful tonight

    Good night sirens.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:00pm

  551. 551: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:


    Commitment Blueprint is worth every penny. I gave up buying coffee and make-up for months to afford it and it was one of my smartest moves! I listen to it often. I have marked up the work-book like I’m preparing for an exam.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:01pm

  552. 552: Rori RayeNo Gravatar says:

    Antonia, Brava to you for being there for another human being in a troubled moment, and brava to you for not deciding to stay in that position with anyone. Now you’ll be more aware of flags of depression and mental fragility…and learn to test for them by being totally yourself, rather than walking on eggshells and being “supportive.” Love, Rori

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:02pm

  553. 553: BelleNo Gravatar says:

    Tonight at a meeting a man stood up to speak spontaneously about decisions, then began to tell the story of his decision to be with his wife.
    Long story short, they knew each other and moved to separate states, she lived in Maryland, he lived in Seattle. He learned through her blog she had suffered some losses, so he called her and offered to pay for her flight to Seattle and put her up in a nice hotel so he could visit with her and give her a vacation.

    They fell in love…he was considering moving to Maryland to be with her, and 2 weeks before he planned to move, he got a letter from the fire department that they were considering him, his DREAM job.

    He chose the girl. He said, jobs will come and go, there will always be another job, but there wasn’t going to be another girl like this one for him. His arms broke out in goosebumps as he was speaking.

    My heart choked up a little and tears came to my eyes…
    such creatures DO exist!!!

    My heart feels so tender and raw, I’ve been triggered so many times today.
    I was at C’s desk and he’s standing there telling me how difficult it is to be near me because my presence has such a strong emotional and physical effect on him…and I’m looking at his computer screen where he is looking for a bigger house to rent for his gf and him and who knows, probably her grandchildren.


    I just don’t get it, but I do know the Right Guy TM isn’t going to be making future plans with someone who is Not Me and this job is so far past it’s expiration date it’s ridiculous.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 6:12pm

  554. 554: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I never received a response to my “3 hrs late” text back to G.

    So I texted him again before work after my nap. I do. Not. Ever. Do this.

    I have spent many many months practicing not texting first (so far he has not noticed. Not said so at least). Well…He did text me back…But the tone was totally dismissive!!! :O INCREDIBLE! His texts never look or feel dismissive. Ever! They are warm and loving and enthusiastic. This is so different. I do not feel annoyed or irritated or sad or anything like that…I feel amazed! Floored. This is all the proof I need…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:10pm

  555. 555: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    If I didn’t know better I would say, maybe he was irritated that it took me so long to respond to his morning text…But he was working, and I take my sweet time on the regular. I can’t see it…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 7:14pm

  556. 556: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    It’s so dead in here I could dance around naked…

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 9:44pm

  557. 557: MissStixNo Gravatar says:



    Naked-stix dance!

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:24pm

  558. 558: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Lodi dodi we likes to party. We don’t cause trouble…We don’t bother nobody. Cause it’s cool when you cause a cozy condition in, which we create, cause that’s our mission. So listen close to what we say because this typesa isht happens ev-ery day. I…Woke up around 10 o’clock in the mornin’. I gave myself a stretch up, a moan ‘n yawn ‘n went to the bathroom to wash up. I threw some soap on my face, and put my hands upon a cup and said, ummmm “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the top Dog of them all?” There was a ruffle duffle. 5 minutes it lasted. The mirror said “You are you conceited b@stard.”…”Well that’s true! That’s why we never have no beef.” So I slipped off my khackis, and my gold leaf. Used oil of olay cuz my skin gets pale. And then I got the file, for my fingernails. Cuz i’m true to the style, on my behalf, so I put some bubbles in the tub so I could take a bubble bath. Clean, dry was my body and hair. I threw on my brand new doggy underwear. For all the b!tches I might take home…I got the johnson’s baby powder and cool water cologne. Now i’m fresh, dressed lime a million bucks…Threw on my white socks and my all-blue chucks. Stepped out the door…Stopped short…Oh no! I went back in. I forgot my indo. Then I dilly…Dally…Ran through a ally. Bumped into this smoker named “sally from the valley”. This was a girl playin’ hard to get so I said “What’s wrong?” cuz she looked upset. She said ummmm “It’s all because of you…I’m feeling sad, and blue. You went away! Now my life is filled with rainy days. I love you so. How much, you’l never know….”

    And…I’m done.

    Written from memory so maybe not accurate. Best. Rap. Ever.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:43pm

  559. 559: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    We’re just some ehems that rock the mic. and when we rock upon the mic, we rock the mic right.

    Wow i’m bored.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:45pm

  560. 560: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    ohhhhhh I can dance with music on. House to myself :) My will be done.

    Tuesday, 6 November 2012 @ 11:48pm

  561. 561: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    What an interesting evening…it has been very rich with “stuff.” Lol. So I just have to journal it out. I was going to do this just to myself, but why not do it on the blog?? lol

    First, of all, I had a date tonight with one of the new CDs. In fact, I believe it was a week ago tonight that I met him. I caught his eye as he was getting off the bus (and I was waiting for a different one), and he kept talking to me until I gave him my number. He said he’d call the next day. Well, he called in two days. Not a big deal, but I suppose that was strike one on the box, or whatever.

    So when he called me, we set up this date for this evening. He asked when I was free, and I told him. And according to him, he had nothing to do during the day, so it didn’t matter that it was early (at 5:30). And I told him the time was so I could get to my class in the city later.

    Yesterday, he was quiet, and I texted him to confirm, but he never wrote back. Until today, when he texted to ask what time we were meeting. So I said again, 5:30. And he agreed. Place and time were set.

    An hour before the time, he called and asked if we could meet much later in the evening. To which it was like a big fat, NO. Hello. I told him what time I was available. And I don’t do late night meet-ups that are supposed to be “dates.” 9 p.m. is not “date time.” That’s “I’m tired and I’m going home” time. blah.

    So anyway, of course I said no to that. But here’s where my “stuff” comes up. Because at first, I was cool. Cool as a cucumber. I had myself all together, and when he called, I told him calmly that if he couldn’t meet me tonight at that time, we could do it another day. And I meant it.

    And then a weird thing happened. He asked me “What day?” And even though I know I was under no obligation to give him a specific day, and I couldn’t think of any day when I might be free, I “flipped out.” It literally was like a switch in my body was flipped and I went from being cool, awesome rocker Goddess to weird, scary evil Goddess with an inferno in her belly. It was weird. Suddenly I just didn’t want anything to do with him. Suddenly I went from wanting to just put it off to wanting to call it off all together. He was talking to me and trying to convince me otherwise, and I just got so bored, and couldn’t think of anything to say, that I just hung up.

    He still tried to get to see me. He asked me to come to the city and meet him, which was not the original plan. I wonder if I could have been more flexible. But I was really not liking the idea of changing my plans to suit his convenience, and I would have felt really bad and not respecting of myself to do that. Plus, he had to come to my area anyway, and he had a car. There was no reason he couldn’t come to see me.

    Like that guy Belle just mentioned (great story, by the way!), if it was important for him to see me, then he would have been there, and none of the petty excuses he was giving me would have stood in his way.

    Part of me still wants to call his number and leave a feeling message, and saying how it is that I want to be respected in a relationship – that I want to be number one and I want to be the top priority. And changing plans and the last minute and making excuses and asking me to bear the brunt of it and do the work for him is NOT making me a priority.

    I said I didn’t have time for it, and I don’t.

    And I would have saved us both a lot of trouble if I’d just said no to him in the first place. But I was enjoying the attention. It was practicing leaning back – literally and figuratively. And part of me started to wonder if there could be “something” there, even though I didn’t expect it. But I guess my first hunch was correct – nada.

    Oh well. But I did learn something. I learned about that trigger point. And afterward, I was wondering what that was about – why did it happen when he asked me the specific day? (It happened once before like that, too, in a different situation, and it was not good for me) So I have to wonder. And then it seemed to me that maybe it was about commitment. That maybe – like so many guys – I like the idea of commitment, but I really don’t want to commit. Or maybe it’s the pressure. I don’t know why that should trigger me. Suddenly it felt like a lot of pressure – I had to tell him “what day” and I didn’t want to.

    There seems to be something very deep and subconscious here, but I can’t even bring up any memories of what this is about.

    So I guess I’m just going to leave it to my subconscious for now…I hope my subconscious decides to tell me what this is about, or at least helps me to unravel it. I don’t want to become the evil crazy Goddess lady from Heck again. I want to say the cool-as-a-cucumber awesome rocker Goddess that I know I am. But something there needs my attentions…

    Ok, thanks for listening and for letting me ramble on with my fingers..feels good to get it out…

    [p.s. meanwhile, after the guy flaked on me, I went out and had a date with myself : ) I walked by the water and had a good phone convo with a friend. Then I stopped for food and made a friend with a woman in the line and we saved some money. I didn’t make it in time for dance class, but I got there at the end so another friend could give me clothes. In all, I had a very good evening! : ) ]

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:04am

  562. 562: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    The thing is, the guy knows he was wrong. He knows I deserve better. He offered to make it up to me, but I didn’t feel like I could trust him, if this is how he treated the first date. He only offerred because he knows me made a mistake. Which is really too bad for him. But not too bad for me. Why? Because I am the prize. He wanted to be with me. He said “I want to make you all mines.” But now – what can I do? I can’t trust him. And maybe my heart is closed and constricting. But I think now is really not the right time for me….still….


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:09am

  563. 563: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    He knows *he* made a mistake. I hope not a Freudian slip?…lol

    I might have made a mistake, too. I might have judged too harshly, or made a knee-jerk reaction. But it wasn’t the same “mistake” as his…I’m willing to take responsibility for myself. Even if all that means is I get to take a deep hard look at my ‘stuff’ and see what’s keeping me from being more open, understanding or flexible…while still appreciating the parts of me that aren’t willing to tolerate behavior that I don’t respect.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:13am

  564. 564: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    hmm Scorpio CD seems to me to repeatedly be asking in little ways for me to take control and it feels draining now

    it feels triggering and i dont want to get ina clash battle of who will be in control


    this triggered an issue with my previous fave CD where we clashed and the date didnt feel good

    i feel sad

    i dont want to not see ScorpioCD

    in many ways i feel so good with him


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:29am

  565. 565: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    for example right now he just Skyped

    “video call me”

    and its right in tune with the ways hes been asking me

    isolated not a big deal, but repeatedly im feeling drained

    and im wondering how i can express myself without getting drained/ fighting

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:30am

  566. 566: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im feeling a bit bummed

    i love my bummedness!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:31am

  567. 567: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    There is an intense stillness to this night. Absent wind. Yet the only sound in the world, eager chimes tinkling softly, an arrhythmic melody.

    I feel a yawning inside me. An opening to recieve a message. The chimes stopped. I felt a creeping shiver up my spine.

    brrrahhhhhurghhh bluhhhh


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:41am

  568. 568: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    omg I feel totally freaked out right now! I feel suddenly vulnerable and open to concealed danger. like i’m being watched. Something feels sinister and my eyes are burning and my pulse is racing and some kind of thickness rising in my throat and all the tiny hairs on my neck prickling my skin. Like some prehistoric mechanism kicked into high gear. I want to hide.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:48am

  569. 569: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I have to take a long hard look at myself.
    Yesterday, I agreed to meet a male friend, actually it is a date I suppose (she says feeling unexcited), at a place. I did not say ‘it would feel better to be picked up’ . I don’t have a car though….but it is kind of walking distance. So I agreed.
    I agreed, without even thinking, actually I was super happy to make my way there as it means I can come and go as I please.
    Now, when MrP asked to meet me somewhere, I just refused. So I have double standards, clearly.
    I need to look at why I make it easy for some guys and others not and whether it is circumstantial or something within me.
    I could not have walked to the place MrP suggested, I’d have needed to take expensive taxis – and he was driving anyway and only 5 miles away. Or perhaps he wasn’t driving, it is a possibility that he was being picked up also. Which would explain this.
    I can walk to this place. Still, I just said ‘yes sure’.
    Ok, if I bring this back to my feelings, with this guy it feels right to make my own way because I barely know him and would feel a little uncomfy being picked up.
    I feel better now.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 3:25am

  570. 570: ruthNo Gravatar says:

    428 llamabutterfly
    I know *exactly* what you mean
    Im 47 now, cane of the pill 5 years ago after twenty plus years taking it

    The variation im my mood and mental clarity in my cycle is awesome.Bothe awesomel;y good,and awesomely bad

    But it is amazing

    I am sorry to hear of so many Sirens struggling right now

    Wishing you all peace in your hearts and calm

    Im going to be a bit MIA

    Way behind on that nanowrimo thing and work is not exactly quiet

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 4:21am

  571. 571: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    well Scorpio CD hit me up late and he wanted to ask me personal questions we just skyped 2 hours and he says he really likes getting to know me

    im feeling good :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 4:50am

  572. 572: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    whoa Miss Stix

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 4:52am

  573. 573: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:


    Can you put a demand on a stranger?
    If you don’t feel comfortable during the meetup are you okay saying so and just leaving when you wish?
    How does it feel when things are easy breezy?
    How powerful does it feel being the one to decide if I walk or not?
    What do I get to enjoy in nature during the walk?

    These are things I believe I would want to consider if I were in this situation. Look for the positives.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:46am

  574. 574: LilibeeNo Gravatar says:


    Hi Turquoise,

    You sure know how to take care of you. You always bounce back so great :)

    I feel more alive and energetic at 42 than I did at 22 and 32.
    I believe it’s my nutritrional habits that did it.
    I have changed many eating habits and those changes have lasted for a few years now.
    Fell off the wagon a few times when I started dating D. He would take me out to restaurants alot and always had dessert and potato chips at his house.

    But I always climbed back on the wagon and loved the ‘feeling’ of having more energy.

    Since the beginning of last summer, he had been following my lead with nutritional habits.
    I never said a word about his eating habits, and he just followed suit.

    Now that nutrition is easy for me, I’m tackling smoking.

    I feel so proud of myself and happy for those successes.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:01am

  575. 575: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I feel depressed…I am moving through all kinds of emotions and states and feel all over the place…
    I have resigned myself to just feeling this way….it is a relief to just surrender to feeling bad…but
    it feels bad to feel bad…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:01am

  576. 576: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve been feeling so much rage, anger, regret, and fear.

    I talked to one of my best friends who is in her late forties, and whose wisdom I respect probably more than anyone’s.

    I was telling her about all the men “in my life,” even though they are not, “in my life” and I was telling her how frustrated I was that they seem to want me to do and say everything.

    She kept probing me for more detail, and then she just shook her head and said, “butterfly, they are trying so hard and you’re not letting them get anywhere near you.”

    and honestly, part of me didn’t feel surprised at all.

    All I can feel is fear and anger. These two emotions are absolutely consuming me.

    But out of every guy, probably ever, Jack CD sticks out the most. I’ve never had anyone be so patient with me, so honest with me, so forgiving of me, and so not abandoning me.

    I feel like he’s waiting for me…

    I’ve never felt that before…I feel so strongly that he’s not going to leave me, like he’s waiting for me to finish grieving and figure out all my crap, and that he’s dying to show me love when I decide to let him.

    which feels scary and over-whelmingly good…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:05am

  577. 577: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I feel heavy in my chest area
    like a stone is lodged there…
    I feel a little like my head is underwater…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:08am

  578. 578: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:22am

  579. 579: HeartNo Gravatar says:


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:27am

  580. 580: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Went and voted w my man last night, both of our first times lol.
    He was so loving and affectionate in words and hugs and kisses. He even waited for me to get done voting before he left to see his childhood girlfriend. I was not expecting this, because I knew he was super rushe and had to go.
    But it felt nice to walk out the doors shoulders back despite my dissapointment when I didn’t see him inside. And there he was on his phone talking to his mom while he waited. He grabbed my and with a smile and we walked to the car while he talked to her, it’s odd but I enjoyed that moment. We want our separate ways and he responded to a txt I had set earlier in the day and it felt nice to be responded too.
    Then a few hrs later he sent me a txt saying he was on his way, and showered me with sweet affectionate words!
    I smiled inside but didn’t respond, it felt nice to just leave it with his words in the air!
    Then he called a little while later saying he was worried because I didn’t respond and was wondering how I was and let me know where he was and that he was on his way and sorry he was so late. We snuggled when he got home even tho he said he had to shower,Mindel asleep emidiatly! Lol was a great night!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:35am

  581. 581: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I was balling last night over the movie Grand Torino, lol I felt so silly yet free to be balling over it so profoundly, it was like it happened to me. I haven’t cried lIke that over a movie ever, at least that I can remember… I feel confident that means in a little more in touch with my emotions! I am happy!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:42am

  582. 582: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel kind of embarassed to write this, but I want to.

    I had the weirdest dream, that SeenmeCry’s gf and I were best friends.

    It was so weird. It was like I really saw her for the first time. Gorgeous and heartbroken like me, with a great sense of humor and a vulnerability that made me want to just hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

    and in my dream I told her, “I knew you had to be an amazing person, because he’s an amazing person, and I know he wouldn’t choose someone unless she was as amazing as you are.”

    and I felt so connected to her, and like I had loved her all my life.

    anybody have any insight as to what this might mean?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:06am

  583. 583: TamNo Gravatar says:

    572..FW, yep. I have kind of given my self ‘permission’ to do what I want, and not ‘be nice’ or ‘please’ and this means that if someone says something that triggers me or makes me feel icky and I am not really interested in the person, I might sit it out at that time, but I just don’t meet with them again.
    Like the guy who phoned his still wife twice during our meal. He had his chance, I know he is not for me for many other reasons and that behaviour triggered me.
    I feel powerful but at the same time harsh. It’s like I almost feel compelled to be harsh because I feel like I have been treated harshly…I am hung up kind of. I feel intolerant of a lot of things right now.
    I am trying to see this as a positive, an assertive and new me, no longer the doormat. I am hoping it is not a sign of feeling fearful of opening up or real intimacy, perhaps it is both – but at least I am aware of my ‘pushing everything away’ right now.
    I go for lots of walks with my music and mostly feel content, especially when I stop dwelling on the past and finding fault for my actions. I can learn. Not all is lost. Though it seems I make the same mistakes again and again and I only ever realise in hindsight, I love my impulsive me. That is me. What can I say? I have to be true to myself. And those who run because they don’t like that, well they didn’t like the real me.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:22am

  584. 584: TamNo Gravatar says:

    No demands on strangers and no demands on anyone actually, not my friends either. Though it always feels good to be ‘offered’, especially without demands or suggestions having been sitting in the air. Yes, that feels good.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:24am

  585. 585: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    527 luzydel I don’t buy it. Sorry I don’t subscribe to those type of predictions. You can create anything for yourself. You can have romance.

    But we can hear something we think is a true prediction and create a self fulfilling prophecy…..

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:41am

  586. 586: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Emerson- I love what you said! So true.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:47am

  587. 587: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel great about this…I’m a girl’s girl. I’ve been a girl’s girl since I was thirteen year’s old, and my best friend and I had a crush on the same guy.

    You know what?

    They didn’t last, and he wasn’t that great. She moved out of town, and he started flirting with me!

    I knew then that I could never hurt her like that, and I never would, never did.

    I want a man who loves me for being a girl’s girl.

    I want a man who is so perceptive, that he can see my tender heart that has a love for women and men.

    I have to admit that I use Rori Raye’s tools of Circular Dating, not for “dating” since I never get asked out (my fault for putting up walls, my fear, whatever), but for keeping my options open, not because I’m interested in fickle men, but because I myself am fickle and terrified of committing to one person.

    I feel guilty…
    I feel hopeful…

    I feel curious.

    I feel hot and tight in my chest…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:50am

  588. 588: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Practicing not reaching out first today!
    I loved receiving yesterday, I feel I want to be selfish a receive again:)
    I want to receive! I WANT to receive!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:57am

  589. 589: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    I have my first date tomorrow. I feel increasingly nervous and fearful. I’m worried I won’t live up to my pictures and profile. I don’t even want to give him a cd name just in case he’s not around long. I love my nervous feelings.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:06am

  590. 590: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess Lily how about – I wonder if I will feel safe with him? I wonder if he will live up to his pics?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:17am

  591. 591: TamNo Gravatar says:

    589 FW, thanks for that, applies to my date tonight too, that made me feel instantly better..

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:21am

  592. 592: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I’m holding on to my joy and content. Im walking around almost in a daze, just existing.
    This whole not doing feels interesting to me..

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:38am

  593. 593: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    yesssssssssss maams our initiative passed

    i feel so giddy, i can’t even describe it. my phone and facebook and email are blowing up right now…. i feel full of gratitude and it feels amazing to be shown so much gratitude for all my hard work.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:49am

  594. 594: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    589- FW,

    I guess feeling safe never crossed my mind. I don’t usually have an issue with that. I suppose if he didn’t look like his pictures that could be equally concerning.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:54am

  595. 595: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    585 hi rebekah
    I am careful what to choose to believe about myself becuse it tends to manifest as truth.
    It feels unnatural sometimes to tell myself great things about myself but I am practicing ….

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:01am

  596. 596: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    yay it’s emerson!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:03am

  597. 597: CurvySiren10No Gravatar says:

    Yay Starla!!! So proud of you… and Colorado (and Washington!!) today!!! :) :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:22am

  598. 598: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Starla <3

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:30am

  599. 599: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    Someone posted a TERRIBLE photo of me in their election night album on fb; my clothes are all twisted and my hair is a mess from jumping around… i feel so triggered and awful about myself seeing this photo ahhhhhhh

    but it’s history, and i am going to just brave through this trigger and let the photo be

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:31am

  600. 600: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    WTG starla on your hard work paying off!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:37am

  601. 601: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    i can’t concentrate on work today, oh man……

    i feel so swept up and excited

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:40am

  602. 602: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Hm…what was my lazy couch post? I don’t even remember! lol

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:57am

  603. 603: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Guy called and texted last night. He feels bad about missing the date, I guess. But I feel like moving on…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:01am

  604. 604: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:22am

  605. 605: Shar lean way backNo Gravatar says:

    Way to go Starla. Makes we want to move to Colorado. Not necessairly to smoke but to be near like minded forward thinkers. Sweetie and I got married there in August. We really liked it there.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:36am

  606. 606: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Universal Principle #2:
    Energy Travels Along The
    Path of Least Resistance
    In all of nature, energy always flows where resistance is minimal.

    Consider the following illustrations of this principle:

    Imagine a river:
    The structure of rocks, sand and grooves in a riverbed imposes resistance to the flow of the water. That’s why water flows around rocks and through grooves that are already laid out. In other words, it seeks out the path where resistance is minimal. Now picture the wind:
    Wind doesn’t blow through trees, cars or buildings, does it? Instead, it travels between, above, and around them. Finally, think of electricity:
    As any physicist will confirm, electrical flow always moves along the path of least resistance. This applies universally, ranging from simple devices like light bulbs to the complex circuitry found in today’s sophisticated computers and mobile devices. Basically, all energy throughout nature and the entire universe as we know it is inclined to take the easier route.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:37am

  607. 607: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel so scared. I feel like I’ve lost my last chance with Jack CD. I feel like I disrespected him.

    I know he wanted me to talk to him, but I felt terrified. and then, I practically chased him out the door, but then I gave up.

    how are you supposed to fix everything that you’ve messed up? because you haven’t responded like a normal, emotionally healthy female would?

    I feel so desperate. I feel such deep gratitude for him and such deep fear that he is still going to give up on me.

    I feel like he’s given me a million and two chances, and I’m wondering on which chance he is going to give up.

    I’m in extreme physical pain right now. Minor physical problem really, but it is soooooooooo painful, and I feel paranoid to talk about it on here.

    I feel so scared and desperate and I don’t know what to do.

    I feel like screaming and crying but I can’t…

    now, I’m crying…

    what can I do to fix what I’ve messed up?

    I can’t just keep starting over with new men.
    I’m so sick of starting over with new men.

    I want to be done already. i want a man to win with me, for once.

    I feel so sad I can hardly breathe…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:38am

  608. 608: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    I saved his name in my phone as “Keep Moving.” because that’s what he should do, and also to remind me that that’s what I am going to do.

    Update: he just called me from a blocked number. I answered, just in case it was a client. But it was him.

    I told him I didn’t want to talk to him.

    I feel nervous about that. I wasn’t exactly a feeling statement. But it felt true to me.

    He’s still trying to call me…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:47am

  609. 609: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I hate that I haven’t dated hardly at all. Mostly in my early 20’s, before I got really, really, really hurt and couldn’t really care less about dating, and was terrified of marriage, and didn’t even really see it in the picture for me.

    My engaged male co-worker used to flirt with me so much that one of my other male collegues actually said “You already landed yourself a receptionist, what are you doing with her?”

    and so he stopped.

    but I loved him, because he tried to guess how many guys I had dated, and he thought it was like in the thirties or something, when truthfully, I can count on two hands the number of dates I’ve been on, and none have been with guys that I’ve felt any inkling of excitement with, with the exception of maybe one.

    I know I’m beautiful, funny, caring, smart, witty, surprising, girly, silly, childish, mature for my age, and a whole slew of other wonderful things.

    but I feel so unloveable.
    I feel so much fear and guilt and despair.
    I feel so much anger I don’t even know what do it with it all.

    and I feel so much grief because I remember a time in my life where I swore that I had so much LOVE inside me I didn’t know what to do with it all…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:56am

  610. 610: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel exhausted.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:57am

  611. 611: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel hatred towards all the men who gave up on me. I hate them for doing and saying only so much and then just running off and marrying THE NEXT GIRL. IT’S ALWAYS THE VERY NEXT GIRL. I’M SICK OF BEING THE ALMOST GIRL. I’M SICK OF MEN WHO I USED TO LOVE WHO USED TO LOVE ME LOOKING AT ME WITH THIS GUILT AND CURIOSITY AND HATRED FOR MY REJECTION OF THEM.

    Do I have hatred towards myself for giving up on myself? Do I hate myself for only doing and saying only so much and then “letting” them run off and marry the next girl?

    I feel twisted terror and rage.

    I feel like I’m never going to be “ready.”
    I feel like the time is never going to be “right.”
    I feel like I’ll never do or say or feel it “correctly.”

    and I want to kill someone for it…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:01am

  612. 612: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    A friend I was talking to recently (who is also a new Siren! Yay!) mentioned working with a coach and that it was helping her. I said I didn’t feel ready for that right now. But the truth is, I really just don’t feel that I have the monetary resources to commit to that. My business is improving, but I’m still working on creating my financial stability – health insurance, steady cash flow, savings, paying down debt, as well as covering monthly expenses are (maybe) more important than shelling out for a life/love coach with money that I don’t have.

    On the other hand – what is really important? My basic necessities? Yes. My career? Sure. But at the end of the day, I don’t want to be alone (quite literally). And I want to do all that stuff myself. But maybe it’s selfish of me to believe that I really have to do it alone.

    I am afraid of being and feeling “dependent.” I am working on not depending on my parents and family. And so far, since committing to that in June, I’ve succeeded. Yay! G-d has come through for me every time, and I’ve found the resources I need…hm. I wonder if I could commit to something. I really want this to work. I really want to make this happen.

    And a girl can dream, right?

    I’d say, if I were going to hire a coach, it would probably be EMK. Maybe that’s a blasphemy on this blog. Lol. But it’s true. I really think he’d be the one to both hold my hand and kick my butt at the same time. Plus, it would help so much to have a guy perspective, which is something I can’t get from myself or any of the tons of women (including you ladies! : ) who support me.

    So I’m just going to put that out into the universe right now. I think I need some individualized help, and resolving love and my ability to be in intimate relationships is probably the most important element of my life right now. Or ever!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:02am

  613. 613: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    Shar, you got married in August?!? Wow! Congratulations!! :-) how do you feel??

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:04am

  614. 614: SmileNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess lily, oo I feel excited for your first match date. I’m still working on my profile.

    I think I might be making more of a deal about writing it than I need to.

    But… I want to get it right.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:05am

  615. 615: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I’m always “the tempation” for engaged men. Their last hurrah. I’m always the “temptress” for married men. I’m always that woman whom women give dirty looks to EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN’T DONE OR SAID ANYTHING!

    and I LOVE WOMEN!
    I want more trust-worthy, loving, supportive, secure women in my life!
    Women who won’t lie to me, USE me, feel jealous of me, FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

    I don’t like men and I don’t like women.
    I don’t like anyone!

    I feel so scared and like I have no where to turn…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:08am

  616. 616: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel excited to start Internet dating.

    I’m spending too long trying to put my profile together. I’ve got pictures. It’s the words. It feels difficult to get down what I want to say.

    I’m struggling with my opening line… What am I looking for?

    I am feeling in a good place right now.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:08am

  617. 617: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Hey can someone add me to the FB page please?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:16am

  618. 618: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel so small and scared and whimpery…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:16am

  619. 619: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    holy sh*t my phone is ringing off the hook, texts are coming through faster than i can keep up, and my facebook page is blowin up!

    this is the proudest day of my life.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:21am

  620. 620: TereanaNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix – that rap was awesome! But what the heck is an ‘indo’? I don’t speak rap ; )

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:35am

  621. 621: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    Starla very well done, it was even on our news here in England, I saw it at the gym tonight along with the presidential elections. 😀

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:53am

  622. 622: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    Oh and you look sooo cute and pretty in your skirt on Facebook. :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:54am

  623. 623: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    FW 604,

    It felt useful to hear about communicating feelings simply. I feel guilty of trying to explain my feelings sometimes. I love my new awareness to eliminate the word because. Thank you. I feel grateful for this.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:56am

  624. 624: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:


    I think it’s only Radlove and Butterfly Wings who can add you, I will alert them on the FB page……..hang in there………..

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:57am

  625. 625: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks SMB, I felt mortified when I saw that photo cuz it’s pretty awful haha <3

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:03pm

  626. 626: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    An inebriated blow up, and chatting on FB or elsewhere for hours is extremely young behavior, and does not befit a 31 year old woman. Neediness and blaming him is a lack of self-love and a lack of basic communication skills. You can learn these skills through my Tools quickly if you want to learn them, and if you determine to practice them. Love, Rori

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:06pm

  627. 627: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Happy :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:07pm

  628. 628: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    FW I’m so happy I’m ‘smile’ ing 

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:12pm

  629. 629: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:

    HS is still suffering from a chronic, debilitating, and painful disease. I am not sure how to be. I have told him my feelings, but what else.
    He needs my help pulling on clothes, and getting out of chairs and into trucks. When I am not there he manages, it just takes a long time and exhausts him.
    This could take a while to fix.
    What should my stance be?
    I am trying not to be the “mom” or take away his manliness.
    He helped me move a big chair–and I gave him much sincere thanks. I could tell it hurt…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:29pm

  630. 630: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I have too modes, over eating or under eating why is the latter always easier.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:32pm

  631. 631: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    “626: Femininewoman:

    An inebriated blow up, and chatting on FB or elsewhere for hours is extremely young behavior, and does not befit a 31 year old woman. Neediness and blaming him is a lack of self-love and a lack of basic communication skills. You can learn these skills through my Tools quickly if you want to learn them, and if you determine to practice them. Love, Rori”

    thank you for this. i am finally outgrowing these behaviors, but i know so many who haven’t yet.

    i feel strong and proud

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:33pm

  632. 632: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I just felt another push in the right direction.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:34pm

  633. 633: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    That push in the right direction feels like my energy taking me forward.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:35pm

  634. 634: Shar lean way backNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks Tereana.

    It’s a nice feeling to have someone do things for you. I raised my son, paid the bills, paid someone to do maintenance or mostly let maintenance go, for such a long time. I am still so much in the process of learning and speaking my feelings and I catch myself going back to my previous experiences. I can sometimes feel myself holding back but when I become aware I move away from that “thought” and try to feel.
    He reads me well. He knows when he ask whats going on and I say “nothing” to dig a little and I will tell him. I am a siren still in training. But wow have I come a long way. I love and accept myself.

    We met on eharmony and we are both introverts. I tell him maybe they should match oposites :) as we can be content to not socialize much.
    He’s fit and handsome and we love each other. But if for whatever reason we didnt make it. I would get on my horse, followed by a trail of tears, and start cding.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:36pm

  635. 635: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve changed my name on the blog to acknowledge I’m feeling in a totally different place than when I first read roris book.

    Today I read an email from cc saying it was no good just purchasing the book. It really has to be applied to your life. Awareness is key.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:38pm

  636. 636: SassyNo Gravatar says:

    Miss Bells,

    I don’t see caring for him with a chronic, debilitating disease as “mothering”.
    Why not look at it as being there for someone you love and care about? Would you not want the same if the roles were reversed?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:39pm

  637. 637: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:

    Sassy–That is a how I feel too. I know he is feeling “unmanly”. I know I can help him to get past that. I’m just not sure how.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:46pm

  638. 638: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    wow, I feel ignored.
    it’s okay.
    I have me and that’s all I need.
    I feel better anyway, after crying.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:54pm

  639. 639: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    Miss bells, I had a similar situation with an ex after he had an operation. He lost his career and practically had to learn to walk again. At the time I didn’t give any thought to taking care of him as I felt secure. I wonder if you feel this way?

    I believe dominique wrote something on being in masculine mode when you need to be.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:55pm

  640. 640: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    You are enough

    I tell myself I am enough frequently now when I feel I’m ignored and alone.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 12:59pm

  641. 641: SassyNo Gravatar says:


    Who did you used to be?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:03pm

  642. 642: SassyNo Gravatar says:

    Miss Bells,

    Perhaps you could tell him you feel helpless, and ask him what he prefers you do for him.

    No need to hover, just be available for the most difficult parts.

    There are millions of partners that are taking care of their SO’s and I would venture a guess that the majority are women.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:08pm

  643. 643: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    Sassy, I’m smile 

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:09pm

  644. 644: Butterfly wingsNo Gravatar says:

    BAB, the ladies on Siren Island have informed me that you want to be added to the group.

    If you (and anyone else who’s interested) email me at mishy0811@ hotmail . com, I’ll give you my FB details so I can add you!

    Can’t wait to see you there! :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:10pm

  645. 645: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    Miss bells

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:12pm

  646. 646: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    @640 Thanks, Happy. I feel seen. and I love your name. It makes me feel happy!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:12pm

  647. 647: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    I need to forgive myself for “messing up.” Often, i don’t mess up as much as I think I do…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:15pm

  648. 648: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel annoyed and irritated with a close friend. I feel like I need to move my energy away from her a little.
    Confirmed plans that then appear tentative when another offer comes up feels crappy to me. So I chose to make different plans. Yey me 

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:18pm

  649. 649: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks lamabutterfly. I feel genuinely in a happy place. One where I can move forward.
    Happy thank you more please.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:20pm

  650. 650: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Butterfly wings- thanks I did. Mine starts with (bekahbea)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:22pm

  651. 651: April RoseNo Gravatar says:


    Hi sweetie.
    I’ve been reading your posts, and I feel curious. How do you feel about melting? Have you ever melted for yourself? You know, just become really soft and tender and gentle.
    I used to think it was weak. But now melting is one of my favourite things to do.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:39pm

  652. 652: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    I just joined Match… way better than pof and okc, i got 2 emails so far and they seem more respectful than the clowns I used to get at POF that had no interest in ever meeting.

    The only site I am using right now; even if I go on dates once in a while, I feel they have more interest in a relationship than most POF guys.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:53pm

  653. 653: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    @651 April Rose – aw, hi. :) I feel shy being called “sweetie,” but really grateful too.

    Is melting the same as sinking into your feelings?

    I have sunk into my feelings before, and it always feels amazing when I do.

    melting. melting. No, that doesn’t feel weak to me. Not in the slightest.

    So, you just become really soft and tender and gentle towards yourself?

    I can do that. That would feel great.

    Thanks, April Rose.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 1:54pm

  654. 654: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    “So, you just become really soft and tender and gentle towards yourself?”
    Yep, exactly that!

    I’m doing it too. :-)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:10pm

  655. 655: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    My exes are starting to marry, not directly after me but it still doesn’t feel good. I’m also one that gets looks from other women and they assume things about me without even exchanging one word. If they only knew I’m on their side, the side of respect for relationships and commitment. But oh well, they are losing a great friend and ally in me.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:12pm

  656. 656: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:

    It seems match is way better for people under 50.
    I dropped all of the online dating and am glad of it. Then I ran into my friend who is a widow of 60 and she said she did too. Said it was a big disappointment after giving it a chance for a YEAR.

    CDing does not depend on online dating sites. For some of us the old fashioned way is best.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:13pm

  657. 657: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Woo! I have another first date from lined up for next week! This one is coming from California so he truly doesn’t exist until he gets here and we have a time and place. But I still feel excited!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:15pm

  658. 658: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    Yes MissBells; It is better to meet people in a more “organic” way’ but it is also quite impossible despite a few flirts you can get one in a moonlight. I tried it and had this one cute guy approached me and then he had to leave saying he’ll be back to talk more; well he never did. That was one instance in a million for me; I go out on my own and or friends and still men smile etc. but they do not move forward.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:18pm

  659. 659: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:

    There is an “age” component that is pretty strong. Some things work better for the young. Luckily there are also things that work much better when you have some years under you.
    For me, one of those things is knowing what I want and a deep authenticity that comes from losing, loving, and surviving a great deal in 56 years. We may not have the “bloom” that a youngster has, but men in our age group still see our beauty.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:26pm

  660. 660: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I want to be able to trust when a man says he wants to be with youforever.
    ((my feelings of mistrust coming upfrom previous experience))

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:30pm

  661. 661: CalypsoNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t know what my deal is today, but i am missing GM so much – it’s like the start of a bad cold – I can feel it crawling all over my skin . . . wanting . . . I keep saying his last name in my head, with longing – out of nowhere – I will be doing something and not thinking of him and then there it is – this deep longing – like a sudden hunger pain than can’t be ignored.

    Ugh . . . want, want, want . . .

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:37pm

  662. 662: CalypsoNo Gravatar says:

    Luzydel – I have tried Eharmony, Match and POF and met serious men on all 3 of those sites, but I do agree with you, there is less trash talk on Match than on POF, for sure. I actually found that Eharmony had even more “serious” guys on there, but it felt like it was harder to get them to connect – too many “rules” for how you engage on that site, but if you get burned out by the other sites, I’d suggest you give it a try.

    I actually met GM on Eharmony and even though it did not work out for us to be together forever, i would not have missed meeting him for the world.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:40pm

  663. 663: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Damn ! thats dope about colorado ! woo hoo

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:42pm

  664. 664: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    yay 3 strikes reform passed “easily” in California… wow! i feel sigh :) i remember how bummed i felt when it iddn’t pass last time!

    yay men coming out of jail yay no more imprisonment

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:43pm

  665. 665: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    its not enough reform sigh


    its ok D remember flexible remember dont take none of this like meaning life is hopeless keep on watching the spirit

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:45pm

  666. 666: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    oh no! labeling GMO foods fell too and so did the no death penalty thing pffff

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:47pm

  667. 667: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:

    I am upset about 34, 35, and 37.
    35-human trafficking, is badly written, and will really hurt innocent sex workers.
    34–Come on and join the civilized world. State sponsored killing is wrong.
    And the labeling law–not surprised. My alter-ego the Frugal Goddess will be talking a bit about how we can protect ourselves from bad food.
    I am mad but energized.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 2:51pm

  668. 668: SassyNo Gravatar says:

    Have any of you “over 50’s” tried “our time” .com?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 3:52pm

  669. 669: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:

    #668 Sassy–Yes– and still not digging it.
    They were even worse than Match, POF or OKCupid.

    They sent me lots of spam and out of my area “matches”. They seem to think anyone within 500 miles is local.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 4:22pm

  670. 670: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Sirens,

    I ran into Mr. C. at the grocery store and it did NOT go well. I said something about even if we weren’t going to talk, girls will want to see each other. He got real irritated and said I knew wha his feelings were on hanging up on him and acting like a Bi4ch! Then, he accused me of stalking him! We live in a very small town, one grocery store.. sheesh, going to run into each other. I was so angry, wanted to email him, have closure and give back stuff. I wanted to say good bye and wish him well and shut him out of my life. Cut the strings, burn the bridge, andnot look back.

    BUT, not doing any of that. He’s obviously still really mad, or mad in general….. and was too soon to try and talk. I’m really thrown though, wasn’t expecting anything like this. But, it is what is…. and not going to worry about it. What’s that saying, your destiny is never tied to someone who walks out of your life.
    Reality is, we live in a small town, our girls go to school together… we are going to run into each other. Next time, I just won’t say anything.

    I did hear from the artist guy and Tom wanted me go to Boston this weekend. Not doing that, but nice to have the offer.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:04pm

  671. 671: Miss BellsNo Gravatar says:


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:11pm

  672. 672: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    I got 7 emails; just replied to one, I am not sure about replying the other ones… one guy is 47 he seem a bit too old for me, but his email was nice, I like receiving emails that have substance and glad I don’t get one liners with; “hey sexy” or “what’s UP” lol

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:19pm

  673. 673: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    Gonna email him anyway; he is cute and 10 years difference is not biggie; it’s just dating :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:26pm

  674. 674: FlowerChild77No Gravatar says:

    (((Turquoise)))…I know how that is. I live in a very small town, as well. It’s impossible to NOT run into people just doing daily errands, etc.

    The name-calling and accusing you of ‘stalking’ him—wow, sounds kind of childish and must have felt awful to hear :-(

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:33pm

  675. 675: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Never heard of it before Sassy

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 5:59pm

  676. 676: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I feel do unheard. Bf tells me today that he’s waiting for a female coworker to txt him because he’s going to pick her up after she drops off her car for a oil change. One she’s married. Two u just told him two days ago that I feel like second best next to his female co workers.. I’m so lost right now. We were in the car do I just nodded and said oh, yeah, and looked out the window till he stopped talking about her. Then he asked how my day was. Ugh men.
    I love my insecurities.. I love this crap.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:06pm

  677. 677: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Well Turq at least you know what he doesn’t like and that he needs time to deal with his anger. Until he has done that he might not be able to hear you. I also believe it is an opportunity to look and see if you were paying attention to your intuition. When I am I can tell when someone does not want to talk. How about you?

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:06pm

  678. 678: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    man: Omg

    Daria: hmmm? :)

    man: I cant even deny how absolutely beautiful you are, i just had to say something

    (Daria beams :) )

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:14pm

  679. 679: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    lol :) “indo” is slang for bud.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:22pm

  680. 680: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    well…A specific kind to be more accurate, but it’s general slang as well.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:23pm

  681. 681: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    mmm in a few min i can head out to meet my CD 10 min walk away at a restaurant

    but i feel resentful cuz it feels cold out and i feel annoyed that i am walking there instead of getting picked up when really i don’t feel scared or anything

    but this is to make dates feel more formal and fancy




    feelin all weird and sleepy today too

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 6:28pm

  682. 682: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Looking so forward to see rebekah on fb :)

    Wish I could see starla in her skirt!

    I’m such a visual girl! I feel jittry excitement to actually see faces :)

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:08pm

  683. 683: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I was asked to call G on my break. I feel procrastinating energy keeping me just this side of actually doing it. Wonder why…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:17pm

  684. 684: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks girls I appreciate the hugs. FW, yeah, good point. Could have let him say something to me first, felt ridiculous to be in the same place and ignoring each other. Maybe I could have just waved and walked away. FFFFFUUUUUDDDDDGGEEEEE. I hate stress and strain and tension. I’m really glad I didn’t email or text him afterwards. I’m getting do much better about not having instinct reactions. Feel good about that.

    I actually got my mind completely off it. I was enjoying the evening with my girls. We had dinner, watched X factor and painted nails. I love them so much. They make me so happy! I also texted with Artist for awhile. He sounds really sweet. We have a lot in common too…. This might be the good kind of guy I should be dating. But I don’t know enough yet. We’ll see. He’s very close with his big family, works for the family business, a few years older than me. He paints and sent me pics of his work. It’s pretty, old fashioned scenes.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:21pm

  685. 685: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Oh geez… Instant reactions

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:24pm

  686. 686: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I called with no answer. *shrug* whatevah.

    2.5 hours till i’m done work woooooo! I’m ready to get otta here now!

    oh. He called me back. nice convo. But he was sleepy voiced and now I feel sleepy *yawwwwwn*

    2.5 more hours.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 7:34pm

  687. 687: BABNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix- 682. Im the same way! lol that’s kinda why i asked your age a while back, helps me narrow in. lol Im funny.

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:23pm

  688. 688: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    hmm nice date i felt all giggly scared he would kiss me

    he smacked my butt instead that felt kinda weird/ surprising

    i find im feeling a bit turned off about that now that im thinnking about it

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:51pm

  689. 689: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    T-one hour 6 minutes till take off!


    I am hiding in the potty with my phone hahaha yay me!

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:55pm

  690. 690: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    This is the kinda sh1t I do when I have an hour left in my day but only 30 minutes worth of work left to do…

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 8:56pm

  691. 691: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    The sacred agreement of the Masculine and Feminine: Masculine: I will make life possible. Feminine: I will make life worthwhile – Giovanni Cavalieri

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:51pm

  692. 692: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    “The barometer for how self-actualized you are in your masculine is how secure the feminine feels inside the perimeter you’ve secured.

    Is she dancing and creating and celebrating life?

    If not, it’s time to man up and take care of some things.

    Become the secret service agent bodyguard to the feminine in your life.

    Secure her perimeter. Transport her safely, wherever she’d like to go.

    You (the masculine) handle securing the perimeters and targeting the bullseyes, and she (the feminine) will honor her sacred contract to fill the space with beauty and pleasure and everything that makes life worth living. ” Giovanni Cavalieri

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:56pm

  693. 693: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Our planet is shifting rapidly and we are on time. We are at the forefront of the greatest story ever told. The Kings realize this. They are invoking the spirit of greatness and filling their lamps with oil. They are not leaving themselves empty, without nourishment. They are deeming themselves worthy and showing up with power and strength. They are in recognition, and creating a new story.

    They have left the path of knighthood behind where all they did was battle with the past and themselves, trying to rescue things that does not serve them. They are rising and I can see them stand upright, ready, and on purpose or requesting diligently, “I am wanting to be on purpose. I am here. I will stand. I will no longer fight for the things that will distract but I am here to stand and rule. The world needs me and I have answered the call”

    Nicole Abundance

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 9:58pm

  694. 694: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i’m feeling very icky and judgemental and upset

    i feel like slappin a bit(ch or shaming a bit8ch


    i find myeslf thnking “she doesn’t deserve a relationship” “what a loser” and “ew how can she just blatantly be so rude and judgemetnal and she’s so dumb too” “what a dummy and hateful woman, i hope she gets left soon so she can figure it out”

    im feleing very upset

    i want to love these parts of myself

    i fele very disconnected from them

    feleing bummed

    i feel angry

    i love the hateful, dummy, loserish, everything i judge about dumb women and hateful stupid bit9ches that would rather talk shit about women than respect themselves in a relationship with a man parts of myself

    i feel so triggered

    i really want to tell this person off

    i feel really angry at other people too, it judt got triggered more


    i dont want to deal with this in my sacred space

    i love the part of me that hates me. i love the part of me that yells ‘bit9ch be gone’ to me. i love the part of me that is a scheming conniving, selfish, dumb, controlling woman

    i love all of me

    this feels very challenging


    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 10:56pm

  695. 695: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    ok anohter reminder

    if a guy fuvhks up w social conventions… yes its not worth it to give him anohter chance just cuz you want something… like to go out to a fun club

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:09pm

  696. 696: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    and by social conventions i mean treat me in ways that feel safe and good

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:10pm

  697. 697: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    it felt really good to write that i love those parts of myself

    i felt a part of me feel safe

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:23pm

  698. 698: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im feeling shaky and bummed and disappointed im not having a guy around right now

    and i love those feelings :)

    and that feels … easy

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:24pm

  699. 699: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel so angry screams a voice inside of me stuck in a well

    life feels so monotonous

    you suck


    i love my blamy self

    i love my trapped self

    i love my demanding self

    i love my desperate hopeless self

    Wednesday, 7 November 2012 @ 11:33pm

  700. 700: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    what feels annoying is how i seem to look better when i don’t ‘work out’ or do my intense movements


    i want to do them cuz i feel good after tho and i feel smooth

    i would feel great to look good to me too

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:00am

  701. 701: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i might just feel mad / irritated cuz the EMFs from the computer are getting to me

    i love you computer

    i love you EMFs

    mmm i love my EMFS

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:03am

  702. 702: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel liteweit nauseaus right now wow haven’t felt like that after doing movement before

    im a guess this is healthy for me it feels lite

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:09am

  703. 703: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    all i want to do now is brush my teeth and then brush my hair

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:13am

  704. 704: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you Daria for doing that movement for me

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:16am

  705. 705: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you Daria for brushing my teeth!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:32am

  706. 706: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    pussy is feelin better now that i hit my ‘workout’ yeeeee

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:39am

  707. 707: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    if its about dropping any guys who even smell of ‘drama’ maybe it would feel better to drop the date with ActorCD tomorrow.. even tho i felt so excited to get to see him again? cuz it felt like ‘drama’ and i know that voice, that ‘im a male going thru drama queen emotions’ voice


    and ScorpioCD i think is rubberbanding or just kinda falling off like

    and maybe tonite’s CD is an issue as far as spanking my butt

    hmm i feel pist

    esp from a guy that seems kinda mature formal, it felt weird

    then again i did shut down and look away from a possible kiss

    i didnt want to look like i was ready to/wanting to be kissed – i felt insecure


    i feel sad

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:43am

  708. 708: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    all these first daters…umf

    Daria has no friends <— beats self up

    have no pull to reconnect with old friends…

    well the ones im thinknig of

    sometimes get triggered thinking they will have beliefs that feel annoying to me

    maybe not tho

    but still dont have any pull on it


    i dono

    probably my horse is getting me ready to get to Brazil

    thanks horse

    feeling sad a bit hauufff

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:47am

  709. 709: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    Tereana # 561

    I am kind of new to all this setting boundaries with guys stuff, as I have only just started circular dating, but I feel you were perfectly correct in ultimately turning that date down. I feel on some level guys know it’s the wrong thing to do mess plans around, and that if you let them “get away with it” so to speak, even if it seems innocent, it gets worse and they lose respect for you a bit.

    I am just learning this with guys I am starting to date, as I had almost no boundaries whatsoever with my ex, or didn’t have the right skills to set them, but now I am practising the skills, and it feels so wonderful. It feels so wonderful to say to myself, only plans that are set properly and stuck to respectfully, are good enough.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:11am

  710. 710: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel all energized now i just had a convo with a self called ‘youngsta’ hehe and i felt a lil nervous

    it felt like a do over of my younger days and had me feeling…. not insecure but at times more like the guy is into hismelf more than me

    but i also enjoyed his cockiness hehe


    i feel good when a guy is fly

    and he did say some sweet stuff

    i hope he figures out how to come see me!


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:44am

  711. 711: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    and now 3 guys including ScorpioCD are texting me :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:45am

  712. 712: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel thrilled im not a woman that feels turned off when guys approach me in a variety of styles or that evaluates guys for how eloquent they are at first


    it feels so warm home happy making to me to open my heart to guys that i could be judging instead

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:48am

  713. 713: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel judgemental towards ‘those women’ i think i love the part of me that judges guys and blocks off guys who say hi or how are you

    and actually i do stop responding if they keep asking me how my day went after some point,

    but i feel glad i answer them at first and share my feeling messages and emoticons hehe and open to a connection

    ((((Daria’s parts))))

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:50am

  714. 714: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel glad im not turned off or judgemetnal about online dating

    i love the part of me that feels embarassed to love online dating


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:51am

  715. 715: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel so good about myeslf that i can honestly say i don’t believe in school, rather than trying to not believe in school and feeling scared/insecure about it and searching out guys who might also believe in school while they seem like they dont

    and now i have been practicing saying i dont belive in school even to people who seem to me to really believe in it and i feel comfortable with that

    more babysteps – talk about my spirituality… omgosh i feel uncomfortable

    i dont want to be judged as woo woo or an annoying weirdo the way i judged the ‘spiritual’ girl in the movie

    i want to heal this

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:54am

  716. 716: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    so now i really feel open to humans who also don’t do school instead of ‘trying’ to feel open to them but feeling bad for them a bit at the same time ahhhh

    life feels so good and healing thank you life thank you horse this is Rockin

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:56am

  717. 717: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    im no longer feeling intimidated by ‘fancy’ CDs yay for CDing in Romania woo hoo

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:16am

  718. 718: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    oh also the meeting CD’s at the restaurant rather than by my house to make it feel more formal as a date — yes. it felt great. i like that approach

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:16am

  719. 719: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel thrilled that i feel turned on sucking dick and i feel great and happy and innocent swallowing sperm and see it as benefitting me with healing nutrition

    haha i feel so awesome what can be better than that yeeeee :)

    and im starting to feel comfortable talkign about it

    i feel glad i don’t feel too scared with the thought that its better to nto talk about it in order to be mysterious and be respected

    yay im really loving myself this way and i really appreciate that thank you Daria

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:26am

  720. 720: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t believe in school either.

    Hmmm maybe that’s a bad way to phrase it??? I dunno. School exists lol So I believe in it…ummm. I believe in school as the most widely accepted method of learning. I feel my left eye twitch squint at the idea of theory being accepted as truth. I remember too much of this going on when I was in school. I also remember completely false ideas being taught as truth. I believe in a certain amount of community learning as a necessary life experience. I do not believe in school as the best method of learning or knowledge acquirement.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:29am

  721. 721: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thank you Daria for brushing my hair . that feels fantastic :)

    thank you for cleaning my brush and getting me fresh water… yum! :)

    thank you for thinking about filtering our house water and tuning our house EMFs :)

    i feel so sad that that feels out of reach! :(

    thank you for being willing to think about it for me anyway :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:31am

  722. 722: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    haha i dont believe in the validity of school

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:33am

  723. 723: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I view some sciences the same way I view religion. And the really hilariois thing is I hold people like Hawking in the same brain space as the Pope. Very learned in is field. Very highly respected. Vast knowledge of fact and theory.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:34am

  724. 724: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    how can i talk abotu my spirituality

    well i believe in nature spirits and especially goddesses feel really intriguing for me

    ahahd now male divinities are feeling intriguing too hmmm

    im a healer a spiritual woman and i believe in spirits in everything and communication w them

    and i also belive i create the world and have power for anything

    and people will come to me for spiritual healing and inspiration and love and support and encouragement and even learning and even to feel an opening of healing hmmmhhh

    and i feel drawn to some nature spirits that may be called african spirits or is it indigenous spirits and i feel open to whats called magic and i live this thick magic flow



    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:38am

  725. 725: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thanks for writing that out for me

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:38am

  726. 726: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    cha the religion of science hmmm

    and i feel scared i ‘gave my power away’ by voting and co opted in some magic i dont like and still i dont believe that cuz my most heailng powerful principle / belief is i don’t believe in anythign bad (yay Rori)

    and so i gavve that to my man obama and to the healing i watn to see in the world nutrition, sexual heealing, free people. no violence, mmmm no school separation no governemtn

    oh i can order that idigenous birth women video now that i have my homie Money right here with me

    thank yu for being here for me fully as much as i said i feel comfortable with you babe

    that was at 40 and id like to move it to 60 but i feel scared

    i feel scared to have 60 dollars on me at all times omg

    that feels like too much!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:42am

  727. 727: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    There are people I have met in my life that I can’t help but raise my eyebrow at. Highly educated and inclined to debate and argument. I can’t do it. I always end up just giggling and moving on. I imagine they think i’m dumb as a stump :) But I can’t listen to someone regurgitate text books and mimic their professors and make like someone else is an idiot when they question nothing. I have heard many of these same people smack talk people devoted to religion. Feels amusing and sickening all at the same time.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:43am

  728. 728: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    once i have my babies and even before i will start midwifing

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:45am

  729. 729: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    “PURPOSE: Once I complete my training as a midwife at Maternidad La Luz (midwife school in El Paso Texas) I will come back to Los Angeles as a licensed midwife (in 3 years) and offer FREE maternity care to POOR women. I will take care of my black, Native American and brown sisters who cannot afford a midwife. My commitment to provide FREE care to mothers and babies depends on your support.”

    i like the way this woman writes this. i feel a bit scared and i hope i will be taken care of too even tho my skin is light sand… i have been so i can keep trusting that im seen and keep loving me and im actually starting to feel more and more safe and open and loving about my skin and all us being one

    even if the women who inspire me arent yet on all view at the same healing point i am, i am amazing and brign it all together

    healing with feminine energy with peaceful human relations with natural intuitive food with raw song and dance yum D

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:49am

  730. 730: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I feel resigned. I must find a way to experience success without devoting my entire life to only a handful of things. I want a finger in all the honey pots! I want to taste the sweet nectar of knowing something about everything and dabbling in it all.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:50am

  731. 731: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    This is why it feels so hard to “pick”, as a career, even something I am passionate about. I am passionate about providing care. Yet being a nurse will never be enough. Being a photographer will never be enough. A sex therapist. Nope. Not enough. I want to be nothing and everything all at the same time.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:58am

  732. 732: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I am:

    A writer. An artist. A nurse. A philosopher. A designer. A home renovater. A lover. A woman of leisure. A persuer of experience. A liver of life. A sponge. A teacher of self.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:04am

  733. 733: ViNo Gravatar says:

    Wow! I start to judge what MH is going to say before (!) he even starts speaking. I feel skeptical and judgmental in advance! I feel my eyes narrowing and I feel the skin around eyes tightening. I feel ouch and also hehe and also happy to notice! It’s absolutely okay to be that way Vi … and it would feel soooo good to heal that…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:04am

  734. 734: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I feel really angry at the concrete right now. I feel pi$$ed at the buildings. I feel irritated with the world I live in. I hate electricity. I would smile if harnessed electricity just went away forever. I loathe convenience. I want wood and stone and brick and dirt roads and firelight. I feel like throwing something. I don’t like this world.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:10am

  735. 735: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like throwing this not-smart-but-stupid phone. But it cost me too much money. I hate money. I hate politics. I desire to “fit into” the world and to do that I *have* to have a phone. Dumb. I feel fraudulent. Fake it to make it in this irritating money and possession and drama fueled society. Built by the rich to keep the rest in their place.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:15am

  736. 736: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    hmmm so totally random rant showed up to help me understand where I would still be forcing my beliefs on my children. Thank you randomness.

    As soon as my kids ask to be enrolled in school, they will be. And as soon as they want out, they will be. If they never ask or show desire to be a part of community education they never will be. And every decision will be of an informed nature. Discussion and understanding is key.

    As I told the man: as long as I raise humans with a conscience who feel free of judgement, to come talk to me about anything…I will feel successful as a parent. The rest…Entirely up to them.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:33am

  737. 737: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Hello Sirens – well I’m cding again – like from today – and I need some advice….
    Last week I met a guy at a party and he asked for my phone number but i gave him my email instead and well he emailed me the next day…but I was feeling kind of emotional so I only responded today ….
    Well he responded…and then I told him a little about my day…and then he comforted me…and I thanked him…and then he was like:
    that what friends are for..
    And then he asked me to have dinner….

    Ok…I feel confused…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:44am

  738. 738: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I feel pretty panicked this morning about everything, had some mad dreams and have married surfer boy chasing me by phone, he wrote a million texts last night including ‘I don’t kno how to treat a lady like you right, because I never met one’…Jeez…that made me feel uneasy, though it was a compliment I guess…is that what I portray? Hm.
    Then I had a date, kind of, last night, and it was very nice, a good evening and a nice guy. And had some great conversation which is difficult to find here…still, I went home and felt kind of – flat. Flat, flat, flat. And this morning panicked.
    How strange. I feel scared that the flatness feeling is with me to stay and I don’t want it. It’s an indifference and I would rather feel angry, happy, elated or even sad than flat. Urgh.
    I want to shift this.
    How can I shift the indifference I feel right now, I feel it towards everything, even work, friends, men…a ‘meh’ and a ‘bla’ and a ‘I could just stay in bed or lie on the beach al day’. That is not me.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:46am

  739. 739: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    Help as in with the confusion between friends and dinner? You might be reading into that a bit early. Do you want to go to dinner?

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:48am

  740. 740: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess Lily – yup confusion between friends and dinner…why call himself a friend? I didn’t think he was trying to be friends…
    And no I don’t want to go…but I’m cding so…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:55am

  741. 741: TamNo Gravatar says:

    and then last night I saw something from my friend on FB, he is having to deal with lawyers for visas, and of course I have been through all that..long story, didn’t turn out well, anyway..I felt kind of super jealous. He was whinging about the lawyers and I wanted to just say: stop whinging, you should be happy it’s all working out for you.
    Of course I didn’t, I just said that I have been there, done it and first and last time for me (I lost a lot of money, but not because of the lawyers, just simply because the company was no good, anyway)….and of course MrP chimes in…of all people, on a thread in a language he doesn’t understand anyway. WTF. Whatever.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:58am

  742. 742: TamNo Gravatar says:

    la la la…song lyrics time….la la la:

    ‘Here’s a song for the hearts so lonely
    The ones who feel that love won’t come
    Looking to find that one and only
    I’ve got something to say to you

    You see the lovers walking down the street
    You feel your life’s a little incomplete
    I know what you mean and I’m here to tell you
    Wipe the tears from your eyes
    You know I would not lie

    Save your love for someday, girl
    Someday will come soon
    Save your love for someday, girl
    Someday will come soon

    Give your love away to someone new
    Just so you can say that he belongs to you
    You smile and you laugh and you talk of forever
    I’m not so sure that it’s true

    Save your love for someday, girl
    Someday will come soon


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:03am

  743. 743: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Heart!!!
    I met a cute little Floridian on the beach yesterday, for some reason I was thinking of you…not sure why….actually, he wasn’t little, he was pretty big and looked very cuddly. :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:05am

  744. 744: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Tam are you planning to stay in Florida or are you going back home?

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:05am

  745. 745: TamNo Gravatar says:

    744 Turquoise….don’t know. It depends if I can work it out, not sure. I would like to, but if I have to go back to England it’s not the end of the world…I’ve got a few months to decide.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:13am

  746. 746: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Heart – some men just use the word ‘friend’ when getting to know someone. i think they think it will feel less intimidating to women

    ive experimented with telling a man right away i dont want friends, im interested in dating and romance

    ive also waited to say that and just let him talk about friends – eventually it still came up

    both ways felt good to me as long as i know for myself im intrested in dating and romance and thats what im requiring

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:16am

  747. 747: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I have always been someone who wanted to force everything with determination, hard work, sacrifices and just getting on with it – but it hasn’t really worked. So now I am trying the ‘let’s see what happens’ approach while keeping my eyes open…and taking opportunities that might come my way, right now there aren’t (m)any but that’s ok too.
    Trying to see where life takes me as the strong willed ‘I have to do this come what may’ approach has actually not served me.
    It feels a little strange to give control to the Universe as it were but I also feel tired to keep trying to force things that perhaps just aren’t meant to be. Hm

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:17am

  748. 748: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Daria, sometimes for me it feels good when a man says ‘friends first’, because it takes the pressure off and gives me time. I have experienced quite a few guys that want instant relationship and it would feel bad for me if I was to ‘egg them on’ by saying I am not interested in friends, just in romance, when I need lots of time to get to know someone. So the friends thing has never triggered me. What triggers me is when someone I know well and want a relationship, says ‘friends only’..but then that never really happened to me properly…hmmm…
    Interesting. How would I feel telling a guy I want romance without even knowing him that well…maybe something to experiment with and see how that would work. Kind of scary.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:23am

  749. 749: BABNo Gravatar says:

    I focus too much on the negative. I wake up feeling annoyed I’m awake. Wishing I was still asleep in dreamland, snuggled next to his warm body.. I love getting up early. I love my lack of pep.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:25am

  750. 750: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach when you mentioned the word cuddly. CudG really did poof on me…It finally sank in a few days ago…I went on his FB page and saw nothing very triggering…but definitely someone who was living his life and not thinking about me…
    I Felt Embarassed by all my previous pinings.
    I felt foolish for missing him…
    I felt sad but grounded…
    I’m trying to just move on from ThatGuy…in fact I’m renaming him ThatGuy.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:27am

  751. 751: TamNo Gravatar says:

    ooops, sorry Heart….after I wrote it in fact I thought it was a bad idea….
    Renaming is a very good idea :)
    Can’t take the word cuddly (sorry again) out of your vocabulary…
    sorry though :(

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:29am

  752. 752: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Daria – oh, that seems to make sense…thank you for the input.
    I’m guess I’ll lean back and wait to see how I feel during dinner…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:35am

  753. 753: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I feel guilty for spamming on here while I should be getting my life in order, look for jobs in England maybe and try to work etc…..hmmm….I should, should, should. I should forget about my disappointments this year. I should. But I can’t.
    And I bottled up everything inside me for decaded. I did all that stuff. I collected degrees, jobs, men, whatever…a lot of it without substance, I was achieving to numb my feelings and it worked oh so well until this year when everything came crashing down…major personal crisis, well last couple of years really. And all the bottled up feelings wanted out and now they have kind of shown up and I feel spent. Spent and flat and unable and unwanting to achieve anymore…kind of scary.
    I feel in transition between who I thought I was and who I really am and this is feeling pretty scary…and taking a lot of my energy.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:37am

  754. 754: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Actually Daria…I think I’m going to experiment with telling him right away…I fee scared …I feel Ready for a change.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:49am

  755. 755: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Wow…i just did it…I just said I’m looking for dating and romance… I feel curious about the response…
    I feel proud of myself! I feel vulnerable.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:56am

  756. 756: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    Letting go of what I wanted from the ex and he could not give me is the most painful of all. I know I need to fill the space with other things, and shift my focus from moment to moment, but sometimes it feels so heavy when I want to feel light.

    I want the expectations to leave, and yet I don’t, and I have no idea how to cut them loose. For now all I can do is keep going through it and keep choosing moments and activities that feel a little bit good or fun. But it feels like I am swirling with old feelings.

    I am fully submerged in the therapy of “not chasing” and it feels terrifying! And also exhilirating to discover what an incredible woman I am. But so scary it makes me want to scream.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:58am

  757. 757: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    I feel Scared…lol!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:02am

  758. 758: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – no…I’m just trying to take it out of my heart.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:14am

  759. 759: TamNo Gravatar says:

    It’s ok to let go of a dream, it feels sad but also like a little relief. A bit like letting go of a man, actually.
    Hm. Growing pains.

    Letting go of a lot of things. And trying to see what comes to fill the voids.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:25am

  760. 760: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    omg he wrote back now I feel even more confused…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:26am

  761. 761: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    he said – he didnt understand what I was trying to say….and that he liked me and wanted to be my friend and that we could date and have fun anytime I wanted and was free…

    I Feel Even more confused…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:29am

  762. 762: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Heart why don’t you just go and see, not over-think…take it light hearted and just pop along, you are not investing anything yet into this man, right?

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:30am

  763. 763: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – no not invested at all….

    But I feel confused…why doesn’t he just say… want dates and romance too?

    I want to overthink it…it feels good to be overthinking something new.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:35am

  764. 764: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Haha ‘feels ood to be overthinking something new’..that’s too funny, but kind of true…I need something new to overthink, I suppose 😉

    ‘why doesn’t he just say’…he is not a puppet, he might have his own mind? And he can say and think what he wants? 😉

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:37am

  765. 765: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Heart – maybe if he just said that too he would be being like a puppet/parrot and just reflecting back what you said. Maybe he is not looking for that? Or is not sure what he even wants.

    I would take him saying he does not understand as a signal to work on expressing myself more. As in tell him what romance looks like to me. Remember it is practice so you can open up for Mr. Right. Their responses to my words are an indication for me on how the man works.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:42am

  766. 766: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Today I want to work on my self image. I will only post things I love about myself, my abilities my good qualities..
    I want to love myself in every area. I feel this will help me life my perspective from the negative funk I find myself in lately to a positive place of receiving.

    I have so many fears in me today about him, that I know if I don’t do this I will be focusing all this negative energy on him and my ideas of him. I DON’T WANT that!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:04am

  767. 767: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Yes, infinite value. Consider this. There is only one of you. You have never happened before. You will never happen again. You are the very definition of rare. Now, how do you put a value on a one-of-a-kind? You can’t. It is inestimable. Its value is infinite.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:10am

  768. 768: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I love my eyes dedication to always being early rather then on time.
    I love my loyalty.
    I love my faith.
    I love my strength of creature.
    I love my knowledge of right and wrong.
    I love my green eyes and flaming red hair.
    I love my laugh.
    I love my creative eye.
    I love my singing voice.
    I love my love of history.
    I love my toes.
    I love my fingernails.
    I love my little elf ears. Lol
    I love my feminine lips.
    I love my butt.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:11am

  769. 769: TamNo Gravatar says:

    767 FW, reading that made me feel teary. It’s so nice to think of ourselves in that way.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:14am

  770. 770: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    FW – Insightful. Food for thought…Thank u. I’ll express myself in te next email and I’ll send that tomorrow. Scary. hehe.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:15am

  771. 771: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Fw- i was refering to #765

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:16am

  772. 772: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I love how I can make other ppl feel comfortable.
    I love my givers heart.
    I love my want to be outgoing.
    I love my sense of humor.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:16am

  773. 773: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Rebekah…..just thinking…….. Can you elaborate in a poetic way what about your voice you love? That might help to cement in your mind what you love about your unique individuality so you can share it when you choose.

    I read your list and thought of Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman, one of my favorite poems. I realize I love the span and swing of my hips, the rise of my butt, and the pep in my step.

    Phenomenal Woman

    Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
    I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
    But when I start to tell them,
    They think I’m telling lies.
    I say,
    It’s in the reach of my arms
    The span of my hips,
    The stride of my step,
    The curl of my lips.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    I walk into a room
    Just as cool as you please,
    And to a man,
    The fellows stand or
    Fall down on their knees.
    Then they swarm around me,
    A hive of honey bees.
    I say,
    It’s the fire in my eyes,
    And the flash of my teeth,
    The swing in my waist,
    And the joy in my feet.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    Men themselves have wondered
    What they see in me.
    They try so much
    But they can’t touch
    My inner mystery.
    When I try to show them
    They say they still can’t see.
    I say,
    It’s in the arch of my back,
    The sun of my smile,
    The ride of my breasts,
    The grace of my style.
    I’m a woman

    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    Now you understand
    Just why my head’s not bowed.
    I don’t shout or jump about
    Or have to talk real loud.
    When you see me passing
    It ought to make you proud.
    I say,
    It’s in the click of my heels,
    The bend of my hair,
    the palm of my hand,
    The need of my care,
    ‘Cause I’m a woman
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    Maya Angelou

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:20am

  774. 774: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    I feel tingly all over and playful. That poem puts me in flirty mood thinking of sharing myself in that way with a man. Helps me to feel confident to blow kisses at the world. My heart feels lit up and fluttery thinking of myself as a Phenomenal Woman. That’s me. I feel like shining that light brilliantly out in the world.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:23am

  775. 775: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I love how good Iam at getting things done.
    I love my multi tasking.
    I love my cooking skills.
    I love I can drive a stick. Lol

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:26am

  776. 776: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I feel embarrassed about being in my head so much. I feel worried that almost everything I think is based on some kind of story I made up in my mind and have no idea if any of it ever was and is based on much of a reality.
    Well, what is going on in my head is my reality.
    I feel wanting to stop trying to get into other people’s heads and think what they think. It’s such a waste of time and yet I catch myself doing it constantly.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:26am

  777. 777: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    773- I love that poem. I see what you are saying about cementing it.
    I feel self conscious about my writing abilities tho lol
    I feel a wee bit freaked out to try but I want to. Thank you fr the suggestion and example! I <3 femininewoman. 😉

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:36am

  778. 778: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    777 :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:38am

  779. 779: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    One of my cds just called and I shared with him how lit up, silly and confident I feel here reading that Maya Angelou poem and revelling in my individuality. He totally ate it up. Telling me how it feels good that I am embracing my uniqueness and that I am in a better mood than the last time we spoke. At the end of the call I said thank you for the call. He said “I love how you are embracing your femininity and it is encouraging me to overlap with you and envelope you in my masculinity”.


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:13am

  780. 780: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Femmininwoman- How on earth do you get a guy to say things like that to you!? I’m in utter shock and envy.. Yay you!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:23am

  781. 781: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    So the poems not coming along so good, but I’ll keep at it in my private journal.
    While writing I was reminded of Rori’s email, asking us to write down how we want to feel in our relationship rather then what qualities we like about our man. So I decided to do it, and taking it a step farther I’m seeing how my lack of feeling what I want with him indirectly connects to how I feel about myself.. I’d love thoughts on this..

    My wants… / what I feel about myself..

    Secure / I’m not secure in my self
    Loved / need to feel it from others first
    Adored / don’t really adore myself
    One of a kind / feel bland
    Center of attention / afraid of not being seen
    Desired /. dont believe im good at giving affection
    Cherished / Not really
    Happy / happy enough
    Spontaneous / afraid to ask, be turned down
    Understood / half hearted

    Sad thing is, I used to feel like I had all of these, but somewhere it got turned around and now i feel lacking in these things that I want to receive. Where to start..

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:31am

  782. 782: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    WOW!! I luv it!!!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:35am

  783. 783: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Rebekah – I just keep experimenting with opening up and honoring myself by talking about myself. Each time I take a step toward being brave and just saying things I don’t normally say. It feels like getting to know myself and sharing it. I see each man as an assistant in helping me to do that.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:02am

  784. 784: EmersonNo Gravatar says:

    729 I feel triggered reading this
    So this woman is only going to help women of color and not “whites”? I’m just curious.
    I’m really tired of the race issue.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:12am

  785. 785: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Emerson strangely enough the word POOR stuck out to me. I read the piece unconscious thinking the races she highlighted were those that in her experience she came across as POOR.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:25am

  786. 786: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I feel so much fear rapped up around that. Only because I’m afraid to scare him off or loose him.
    I feel stupid for saying this because if it scares him off he’s not the one, and yet he has stuck by me thought so many of my insecure melt downs it’s hard to believe he would leave now. And at the same time that nasty voice in my head says he’s trying to make up for past offences and that’s why he’s staying.. Ugh I feel mad at myself for not sticking to my word and focusing on him again..
    I love my anger. Thank you for opening my eyes.

    I feel so dissengenuine today.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:17am

  787. 787: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix, I’m happy to be your fb friend — how can we connect? :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:18am

  788. 788: StarlaNo Gravatar says:


    hehehehehehe she takes good care of me!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:41am

  789. 789: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    (((Heart))) Mr. Conversation and I aren’t talking either. So, guess he’s proofing too. Since we aren’t talking, I’m going to rename him too… Something bland that doesn’t trigger anything… Insurance guy.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:44am

  790. 790: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    The last two days he’s been texting late in the day and starting his tots off with sorry I’m texting late.
    I feel so bad that I made him feel like if he doesn’t just I’m going to be mad by our talk the other day. ( I don’t know this as fact, but I’m projecting it out there anyways ) I soo need something to keep my mind and heart from judging me so harshly for the feelings and needs I have.
    I accept them and love them fully! I did nothing wrong, I feel what I feel for a reason.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:45am

  791. 791: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I love my lack of focus on myself

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:50am

  792. 792: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    lol i like the name insurance guy. makes him sound boring and weird.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:55am

  793. 793: RadloveNo Gravatar says:


    Today I can get internet at home again. I hope it stays. I got a no on my first interview, and on the second one, the man is hesitant because I don’t have a certain software program. yet in every other way, I am perfectly qualified. It is not a no yet, and I hope it turns into a yes. I sent him a thank you note. I need a job desperately. I can’t keep going on with not enough to live on. I have never had such a difficult job getting hired.

    So endlessly grateful to have a home tho. It is a total miracle.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:01am

  794. 794: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    lol my ex boyfriend was emailing me about how depressed he is, and i was being supportive, and then he suddenly was like “sorry, i don’t feel like talking anymore. take care.”

    ok then, lol. “you too,” i said.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:22am

  795. 795: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Starla, lol… He is my life insurance guy. I considered canceling my policy, but it would be out of spite and I’m not doing things for that reason.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:26am

  796. 796: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    hm i feel a little funky but i also kind of feel his sudden, random, ironic blow off just rolling off my back.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:34am

  797. 797: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    seriously, though, he could have just said “hey i have to go, take care.” but instead he was all “sorry, i don’t feel like talking anymore.”

    he is going through a hard time and is feeling very attached to his depressed/victimized identity. he just got dumped and his dog got put down… he quit his career and works for his dad part time now…

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:39am

  798. 798: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    Now he’s emailed me to say “Thanks for listening and talking to me. I really appreciate it Starla.”

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:51am

  799. 799: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I want to feel drop dead gorgeous!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:52am

  800. 800: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    I just said you’re welcome with a smiley face

    i feel like i’m passing a test (from the universe, and from his subconscious)

    i won’t be triggered or baited. i am pure love.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:55am

  801. 801: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    i won’t be triggered or baited. i am pure love.

    :) :) :) :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:10am

  802. 802: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I need to adopt that. I won’t be triggered or baited. I am pure love. Love it!!!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:21am

  803. 803: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    My heart feels like a ballon that has been filled up with suspicion and sadness.. My knowledge of what I want is the needle that will poke a hole so that love can flow and fill the gaps.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:21am

  804. 804: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    You can email me at me at sweet.n.leafy@gmail. com :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:25am

  805. 805: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    all other sirens welcome as well.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:26am

  806. 806: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    So iv been noticing a resistance or something to my texts that contain a feeling message. Where do we go if they stop/aren’t working. I know he is super stressed lately but now he just responds with some very generic comment when we are in person, and doesn’t reply by txt at all when I use them.. . Curious

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:34am

  807. 807: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    I was just reading an email about transforming your live identity and considering what mine could be I feel a heaviness like lead radiating out of my chest and dragging down my arms. Now I feel all hot and sweaty and am committing to changing my identity to I am all love. I am good enough.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:34am

  808. 808: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I’m really struggling to write my dating profile…

    It feels frustrating trying to find the right words.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:43am

  809. 809: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I’m on my bridge but still can’t help feel a little frustrated.

    From cc
    I’m sure you’ve encountered more than one guy like this. He gets excited about you, but then when it comes time to having a real relationship, he’s lacking in the EMOTIONAL MATURITY to make it happen.

    Then I read stuff from dominique about healing a mans heart through yours.
    I started to feel vulnerable and share in an open way. I felt him open up too. I was amazed at the depth of our conversations

    Then nothing again. I can feel him moving away.

    I’m not feeling as sad this time. Ive let go of most of my expectations.

    But I still feel a little disappointed like oh it could have been so good.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 11:58am

  810. 810: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    Foreign territory for me. I have always gotten a response…Not always a happy response :p but always something. But then…He has encouraged me to share my feelings from the start. Sometimes I feel resentful of it to be honest…Depending on how he says it. Just a few days ago he told me he doesn’t think I share my feelings with him. Seriously. uhhh? really? All I said was “I try.” but I could have said “I feel annoyed to hear that. It seems to me all I DO is share my dam feelings!” :p

    Amazing how people project non-reality.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:03pm

  811. 811: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I guess I get it…I know his last, and longest relationship (a girl he nearly married) felt bad to him. He said something was always wrong but he never knew what. He is desperate to be informed constantly.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:06pm

  812. 812: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    He asks me “what’s wrong?” when nothing is wrong all the time…If I say “nothing…” he doesn’t appear to believe me. In the first year this caused me many confused and sad feelings. I said to him once back then “Do I have a miserable face or something?”. I have taken to saying “Nothing at all baby, I feel good” and smiling etc.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:10pm

  813. 813: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Digression. haha I have no advice other than…If you are sharing and expressing your truth it is “working” no matter how he responds. Because I believe strongly in it not being about getting a specific reaction.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:12pm

  814. 814: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    You know what I don’t care if he responds well or resists them. I feel them for a reason and I like the idea that I have yet another way to say what I’m thinking only in a feeling way. Maybe I should make sure this wont be amazing to the relationship first, but yeah regardless they are my feelings, why do I need him to respond at all? At least by putting them out there he is earring them on some level.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:25pm

  815. 815: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks MissStix- That was helpful to read lol

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:26pm

  816. 816: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Hmmm…Since I first started at this, I have thought some of it smacks of manipulation. I admit I have tailored it to myself in that I have completely let go of this process “making him fall for me” or anything close to that. If I say “____ feels frustrating to me” I do not say it in order to “get” whatever it is to stop. I say it so he knows “blank” frustrates me. I trust the man to take my words and do with them whatever he needs. I trust that I let a good one pick me, and he loves me. All I need is to be free to express my feelings so they don’t eat at me and turn bitter and sour like they used to. The art of letting go….

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:31pm

  817. 817: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    excellent 😉

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:35pm

  818. 818: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Isn’t hazardous* not amazing lol

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:40pm

  819. 819: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I know, from my past experience, when I feel very attached to any outcome I feel obsessive, needy, controlling. I feel angry when it doesn’t go my way, or if a person doesn’t do what I want. I feel frustrated and frazzled when I decide a person isn’t responding in the way I want. I see a very definite downward anger and desperation spiral when I attach myself to specific desired outcomes. At the bottom is when I start acting out in ways to “MAKE them see” what i’m feeling, and that’s not cool at all. No one likes that. And people can smell it on a person.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:41pm

  820. 820: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like I’m just waiting around for bedtime. I forgive myself for not making any plans. I feel exhausted after a long day at work. I don’t want work to be my life. I’m making steps towards a good balance.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:52pm

  821. 821: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    That’s what I’m doing to a tee, I feel like it anyway. So desperate to be heard and so annoyed when I don’t feel like Iam, I freak out or go silent and into my head. Ugh

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:55pm

  822. 822: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    And it gets even worse if he doesn’t act or stop doing something like I think he should after hearing how it makes me feel that I go over and over it again and again till I think of a better way to get him to understand. I feel so frustrated right now. I’m screwing up and I’m scared I’m gonna be lost in the shuffle. I just wanna cry.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 12:59pm

  823. 823: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Ong nightmare

    So I tried lucid dreaming but the non lucid part is what got to me

    This guy was my mons boyfriend I guess, but he got drunk and started trippin on me Then my mom tried to calm him down but he was trippin

    He went into the Other room and we were scared he wd hurt my uncle, but he didn’t so we were just working thru it but

    Then my cat scarred out of the room in a weird way and his leg was badly broken I guess he had broken the cats leg it felt so awful

    I feel glad I woke up.

    Im feeling shook

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:13pm

  824. 824: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    You’re a bright and shining star. Keep practicing for you. Do whatever you do because it is growing you and expanding you and opening you up. You are worthy of light and love and affection. And yah, at some point, if not already you will get to be that girl…That girl who people can’t help but say “there’s something about her…”. There’s no way any man will just let that girl go.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:20pm

  825. 825: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Cried and wrote, little more understanding. Pep talk caused more crying and questioning. Loving this tender place I’m in I feel weak and exposed.
    Removing all negative expectations from my mind for when I go home.
    I will love all of me, all my stumbles and moments of weakness.

    I’ll have a little bit to clear my negative energy before he gets home, so I can be utterly open.

    Thanks MissStix! I’m taking your words to heart, they will become my reality!!!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 1:47pm

  826. 826: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I am enough

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:35pm

  827. 827: BelleNo Gravatar says:


    I feel the most excited I’ve felt all day reading your post about your dream!

    I do tons of dreamwork and I have found that using FM’s with dream characters work like magic.

    I write letters to the dream characters, or write out scripts. Also, in my dream share group we play “dream theater” and have each other play out dream characters and use FM’s, and it’s so fun and surprising what comes out and how things resolve.


    The fun thing about lucid dreams is, I can stand up to the scary characters most of the time. I haven’t had a chase dream in nearly 2 years, since I turned around and faced a character who was chasing me and wanting to kill me. I told her, “Go ahead! Do it!” and she disappeared, POOF!!!

    Learning FM’s from Rori took my dreaming to a whole new level :)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:37pm

  828. 828: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    So triggered

    This means stuff is healing tho!

    But I feel so triggered now I feel all sad and scared and shouty fighty

    Covered w raw emotional wounds

    Thank you Daria for ….

    Seeing this as healing.

    Thank you do much for brushing my hair too… Wow as soon as I woke up! That feels exciting and I feel empowered now

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:40pm

  829. 829: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    I feel so panicked!

    I feel afraid that I will feel dissapointed

    I can handle this!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 2:54pm

  830. 830: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Belle – hmm I usually take my dreams as an idication of where I’m at… My other world. I behave and think like in waking life and use FMs and sometimes get triggered and don’t . They’re usually action packed.

    I feel afraid to dissapoint you :( to say i don’t really feel comfortable with ‘interpreting’ the dreams. They’re more like a real life for me… Maybe interpreting real life would feel cool tho!

    I guess I do interpret / give meaning to waking life events and that feels magical and inspiring. Hmm

    Well I did do some lucid dreaming and practiced stuff I feel scared to in waking life. Such as…

    I realized I was dreaming decided to lucid dream and told some guy in a park on NY where I was at – that I’d like to meet lots of handsome men so if he could bring some over there. Hehe :)

    Then I saw a beautiful girl walking up the steps and decided to see what it would feel like getting with a girl, so I kissed her and had her touch my clitorus till I orgasmed. Wow I feel embarased writing this.

    I feel like laughing w embarrassment. It felt cool bug I felt suddenly ubattracted after orgasm the way I do w porn sometimes.

    Then I lost the lucidness and other stuff started happening

    Oh I remember seeing my girl Leya!

    And then the end turned awful and I guess I do think angry drunk people will do violent abusive stuff ouch that felt so triggering and I don’t know the number to Romanian police so was feeling freaked and fumbling to call

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:06pm

  831. 831: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    Belle – wow I feel glad I feel triggered about your post! Resistance is the first step to change is a belief I found that I liked and I feel excited to get even more in spirit with my dreams. They feel very personal to me. Yay :)

    This is a sign!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:16pm

  832. 832: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    I am Love.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 3:40pm

  833. 833: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    Turquoise @670,

    Next time you run into Mr. Conversation, can you imagine just doing the Rori dance position leaning back and letting the girls lead into seeing/interacting, or him approaching you?

    Why would he be angry? Did you approach him in any way or put some kind of pressure to talk?


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:04pm

  834. 834: sunshineNo Gravatar says:

    i feel stuck. I have been dating a guy well call him “Pedro” for the past month. I feel confused because we are really into each other ( so much for my original circular dating plan, I find that impossible at this point). Pedro and I are getting quite physical not sex but pretty close (ill take out the details). Anyway, I feel strange about it, I like it but I feel at times scared, uncomfortable and not at ease. I guess I still have questions about him hes mysterious to me. He doesnt have email or facebook account. He says he divorced a year ago but moved to NY three years ago. His ex back in his home country with their son. This feels so weird to me, I cant help but wonder if hes hiding something. I tell him I have trouble feeling fully trusting of him and he says theres no rush to anything, and its possible its my past experiences and he doesnt want me to feel pressure. I feel ok when he says that but still just cant help feeling weird and suspicious of him.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:17pm

  835. 835: BelleNo Gravatar says:

    Daria I feel too distracted by my current feelings to give your posts the proper attention but I want you to know I saw them and will come back and read them later.

    For the moment I want to say that I feel all shaky and charged up. Someone asked me where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do and I brushed him off. Driving home, I realized, I could ask for anything. I don’t have to be sireny with a man who is desperate to please me and wants to know what I want, all I have to do is tell him.

    I want a night at certain hotel with him.
    I don’t want dinner.
    I don’t want to lift a finger to please him, he has a fantasy of totally being my love toy and of pleasing me, I want to let him.
    I want him to pick me up in one of his nice cars with roses in hand.
    I want mimosas and strawberries for breakfast, and I want him to feed me.
    If I cry all I want is for him to kiss my tears and hold me and don’t say a word.
    I want a big fluffy hotel bathrobe to hang out in.
    I want him to massage me, fall asleep next to me snuzzling.

    Iz what I want.

    Whether he’ll deliver? We’ll see. The least I can do is ask.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:24pm

  836. 836: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I feel hurting, I feel stuck.
    I can’t let that situation at the beginning of the year out of my mind. I keep re-hashing the same old record, one minute I believe I am over it and then I am not.
    I have been here 6 weeks and pretty miserable, nothing has worked out, professionally or privately.
    I feel angry, sad and hopeless and at the same time I just want to numb and drown all those feelings with men and/or alcohol, or something. Anything.
    I feel devastated. My heart is aching, my pride is shattered, my self esteem is non-existent.
    The work I had supposedly done on myself in Europe was worthless, I am back at square one and I feel alone, I have been dropped and I have been left to rot.
    And I am rotting from the inside.
    I feel totally hopeless with my situation. And like I am not meant to have a stable life, or love, or a family – or even my oen family stick by me.
    I feel totally alone.
    I feel that I could die and rot in this Condo for a good week before anyone would find out.
    I feel sub-human right now.
    Like a flea. an ant or a rodent, just existing.
    Whatever happened to me in these last few years?
    I want to go back to my unavailable and unemotional self, the one that can bear anything, the one that likes being alone, judges people and feels ‘better than’ or ‘more virtuous than’. I want to go back to pretending everything is great, being the clown, making people laugh and having my superficial joys.
    I don’t want to know me anymore, I don’t like what I see and I see just pathetic now.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:42pm

  837. 837: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I want to hate and not love. Love is painful, disappointment is painful, rejection is painful.
    I don’t want to love anymore. I want to be done.
    I don’t want to feel compassion anymore.
    I feel all this love and compassion is draining me. It is draining the life out of me.
    I want to be cold, like a stone and I want to be angry and hateful and lock myself away. No, I don’t. Not really. But it seems so much easier.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 4:46pm

  838. 838: DominiqueNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – Sweetheart. <3 I will be all alone all next week. Wanna come and hang with me? It's cold though, yet most of the hurricane damage has been cleared. It's a lovely town. You are welcome.


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:09pm

  839. 839: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Aw Dominique, how lovely of you…thank you for your sweet offer…I am sitting it out on the beach :)
    Just having a real little meltdown today. Not sure what’s up with that. I feel totally destroyed, for some reason. Maybe I have been stuffing feelings even though I wasn’t aware I was doing it? No idea.
    Kind of wiped out.
    Thank you though :) (little smile there) xoxo

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:16pm

  840. 840: LuzydelNo Gravatar says:

    I did something to test myself…

    S live by the shore where the storm did the most damage, so I emailed him to send him good wishes.
    His response was like a total jerk, and then there I realized how big I really made him and that he was not as great as I thought.

    I felt disgust, a knot in my stomach, then I felt relieved!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 5:34pm

  841. 841: UliiNo Gravatar says:


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:27pm

  842. 842: UliiNo Gravatar says:


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:39pm

  843. 843: UliiNo Gravatar says:

    @ Tam

    I would like to hang out with you too! It´s a shame you are so far.

    I feel so much the same-alone in the world & nothing’s working out- feelings lately.

    But it will get better, I know!


    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:41pm

  844. 844: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    My favourite things to do in lucid dreams is jump really high and fly. I don’t like when I can’t run fast and my limbs feel like slo-mo. I never actually thought to stop trying to run haha Derp.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 6:59pm

  845. 845: BABNo Gravatar says:

    Hello gremlins, lets be friends?! Good night suspicious mind, sweet dreams insecurities. We are healing!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:26pm

  846. 846: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah Siren Angel… We saw each other in the store and didn’t talk. Felt so ridiculous to me so I waited a few min. For him to come out and said that even if he didn’t want to talk to me, girls were going to want to see each other. His response was to say stop stalking him and that I knew his policy on hanging up on him and acting like a bi7ch. I didn’t act like that. I didn’t say anything mean. My tone was irritable and frustrated and I said that the conversation wasn’t getting us anywhere and I wasn’t going to keep explaining myself. Said goodbye and hung up. Today I actually feel angry about all this. I’ve been really great to him and we agreed that no matter what happened, we’d make sure it didn’t affect our girls friendship. If he called me now, I wouldn’t want to speak to him. I know he’s got a lot of stress going on, but I don’t feel I did or said anything to deserve this.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:33pm

  847. 847: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Let me rephrase that. I could have handled things differently and not talked to him until he approached me…. But what I heard in his voice, that real anger, feels like too much of a reaction for what happened. He’s lumping me in with all the other women who screwed him over or that he hates. Dating someone who hates most women, is not a good idea.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:40pm

  848. 848: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I’m angry tonight. Taking deep breaths.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:44pm

  849. 849: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    I’m angry tonight. Taking deep breaths. And eating Halloween candy.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 7:47pm

  850. 850: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Deep breaths do help. I’m ok. Not even really angry. That was on the surface. Inside I feel like protecting my heart and running away. Being angry makes it my decision to not have him in my life. I see the control issue there.

    Sinking into my feelings. Letting the tears out. Can’t let my heart turn to crystal again. Fireplace is on… The warmth is soothing. My tears feel icy. I’ll be ok.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:10pm

  851. 851: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    hug to you ((turquoise))

    I should be in bed. I am stirred up. I have been practicing.. being true to myself. Verbalizing my feelings. It feels comforting and good. When I am not attached to an outcome other than my goals it is easy. This single, cding season i am in right now is a real learning time for me. It is my goal to be like this when I am in the presence of a man that I am attracted to.

    Last night I was chatting with a man on the dating website that I went out with a couple of times a 2 years ago. I did not feel good about some of the things he was saying. It felt harsh and I felt judged. So this morning I wrote him and told him exactly how I felt and sited specific things he said to me. I also told him that I did not feel that we would be a good match and wished him the best in his search. End of that I thought… he wrote back, appolgizing asking for another chance? !? hmmmm I was really shocked. So I learned that speaking my truth being genuine and authentic did not mean the “end of that to him”…. He has asked me to dinner or a drink. I am evaluating my feelings before I respond..

    Just a bit earlier this evening I was chatting with the hottest guy I have ever seen on my matches!… I actually did a little lean forward contacted him first a few days ago… (did it the EMK style)… he responded favorably. I intiated chatting tonight too but it was after he tried Tuesday and my computer froze. I felt super flirty and sirenish tonight. I told him I am usually not this forward.. he said he loved a woman who went after what she wanted…that he was secure in himself and we are both mature adults. Another response that I did not expect! He asked me to lunch on Monday ….

    Today was a day of surprises and speaking my truths and being me!…. I love it today. I feel real and less mechanical. I also bought a size 10 jeans tonight! WOOO HOOOO. That is 4 sizes smaller! Yeah ME!

    I felt like I would just kiss this guy I was talking to if he was standing right in front of me. Now the challange will be… stay on my bridge and not think about him. Stay centered. Be femine and be me!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:48pm

  852. 852: ViNo Gravatar says:

    Feel turned off by MH’s words… Feel scared not to feel angry, just uninterested and bored… sigh… cut loose feeling in my chest….. clenched teeth… (I love you teeth, I love you chest, I love you cut loose feeling!) … And my inner boy feels worried that this turn off extends to other things… I feel turned off about me, dammit!.. I don’t want to feel that way about myself. What baby steps can I make right now to feel better about me?.. mmm… Yay! I definitely have got some great ideas!! Thanks trigger for helping me to practice my take-care-of-me skills. Muah!

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:57pm

  853. 853: ViNo Gravatar says:

    hehe :-) feeling smiley now :-)

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 8:59pm

  854. 854: ViNo Gravatar says:

    …turning triggers into opportunities feels like magic! hehe

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 9:00pm

  855. 855: HappyNo Gravatar says:

    I want to give you a big hug.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:13pm

  856. 856: IndigoNo Gravatar says:

    Femininewoman # 779

    That is so amazing! Gives me so much hope for the kind of woman and the kind of things I will say and how it will be received by men.

    A guy I’d gone on one date with sent me a long affectionate text yesterday and then a long affectionate e-mail, and I knew I should be absorbing it but I couldn’t really. I was having a swirly day emotionally and I just felt annoyed because his communications made me feel obligated to respond and I don’t feel like responding. I am seeing him on Saturday and I just want to preserve my energy till then. Muuurrrggh.

    It feels so beautiful that sirens reach out to each other to invite each other over when one of them is down, like Dominique #838. Made me feel a bit teary, in a good way.

    Thursday, 8 November 2012 @ 10:37pm

  857. 857: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Hello Sirens – I feel good today…I hope I don’t jinx myself but I think I might be Over it.
    Wow….sweet relief.

    You know how u feel when you get over a cold/flu and you go outside after being in doors for a long while….Emotionally- thats how I feel today.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 1:38am

  858. 858: ruthNo Gravatar says:

    Bigs hugs to you Tam

    Hope today is a better day

    Sirens, my man has just told me that he wants me to stop teling him how he feels as he doesnt know what to do with it


    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:27am

  859. 859: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – (((Tam))) it will go away take…give it a little time…you will get over it…you will love again…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:37am

  860. 860: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Ruth – he wants you to stop telling him his feeling or your feelings?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:41am

  861. 861: HeartNo Gravatar says:


    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:24am

  862. 862: ruthNo Gravatar says:

    Sorry Heart
    I meant he does not want to hear about MY feelings

    Guess I was more upset than I thought when I wrote that post, it makes no sense at all

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:30am

  863. 863: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Tam, I’d come visit if I could. But I’m broke as a joke. Imagine us all sitting on the beach with you. Siren party at Tam’s beach anyone?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:40am

  864. 864: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Sirens, I’m glad it’s Friday. No big plans for the weekend do far and I feel perfectly fine with that. The weather is going to be nice, so I’m going to clear out some stuff in the garage so I have plenty of room for the car, I started last night… Worked for about an hour moving shelves and organizing. Then I’m going to pull out the Christmas stuff and start putting up the outside lights. I won’t put them on until after Thanksgiving, will will be glad to get that done before it gets cold again. I might get a haircut too. That always makes me feel better.
    Today I feel kinda blah. Not sure what to do with it.

    Thanks Linda and congrats on the weight loss! That’s my next challenge. I want to lose about 30 pounds. Know I’d feel a lot more confident.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 4:00am

  865. 865: UliiNo Gravatar says:


    Sad to read about the situation with Mr. C… I´d feel devastated being treated like that. Seems quite immature and “drama queenish” from his part.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 4:12am

  866. 866: TurquoiseNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks Ulii. Yeah, drama… And I’m not really like that, so all his drama is different for me. I’ve told him before that he must like the drama, because he chooses it. He agreed that he does, sometimes. Daria’s post stood out to me about avoiding the men who even smell of drama. It just feels like a distraction from your real feelings or best choices in life.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 4:15am

  867. 867: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Tam and everyone else,

    I went out on a first date last night. It was fun enough for the first two hours. I could’ve done without the third. Good enough conversation I guess for a first date but absolutely no physical chemistry. Like any man I think he was going to try and kiss me at the end but I made that mealy impossible with my body language. I told him that I would be interested in a second date but now I’m not sure. I addressed this to Tam because of your recent barrage of attention and dates, but I am open to feedback from anyone. I don’t know that I want a second date because I don’t want to lead him on. What should I do?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 4:56am

  868. 868: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Goddess Lily…I just came back to the blog after switching off everything last night. I have no idea what you should do, I just feel tired of meeting these strangers…and now I am not even on a website anymore and still they keep coming.
    I just want to be with my friends and people I know right now…if I was in your shoes, I would give it another shot maybe, after a first date anything can happen.
    I would just do what you feel like. If you don’t feel like it – don’t go. I have been forcing myself to do it because I somehow thought it would help me get over the pain from earlier in the year. Well, no.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:25am

  869. 869: TamNo Gravatar says:

    As to the beach yes, the more the merrier..I am also broke. Else I would really do more fun things, like go down to Miami and explore. I can’t afford much right now, that adds to my misery. Anyhow, the beach is free :)

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:26am

  870. 870: TamNo Gravatar says:

    859..thank you Heart. Yes, well, that’s what I thought also last year. And I ‘thought’ I did love again but in fact I didn’t at all, it was just nice to have someone who cared for me. And I knew it. I deceived myself also.
    I feel hopeless. I don’t even know if I want to love again, as a matter of fact right now I don’t. It’s just too disappointing. It’s been such a long time since ‘love’ was good for me. I must be honest, I don’t believe in it anymore and I don’t believe it is going to happen to me and also, I am not even sure if this is a bad thing. Maybe I am meant to be alone and maybe it isn’t the end of the world. There are many people like that.
    I just don’t ever want to be with someone again just because it feels good and I feel taken care of. I don’t want the relationship…for the sake of the relationship. I want a man who I love and who loves me even if the relationship may not be ‘perfect’ – and now, I just want to give up. It feels by far best to just give up.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:33am

  871. 871: TamNo Gravatar says:

    …and thank you everybody, for the hugs!! Ulii and Happy and Ruth and Indigo and everyone, it feels so good to read this. Thank you – and good luck to you lovely Ladies!!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:35am

  872. 872: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Turquoise sorry if I rain on your parade but I just thought I’d point out that in reading your post it seemed to me like you are hanging your confidence and weight loss. It would be great if we could all believe that we can be confident no matter. The weight loss could even be a great side effect of a raised confidence level. I guess for me the internal stuff shifting around feels more rewarding for me. The external things will shift around as a result.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:42am

  873. 873: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Goddess Lily I would be asking myself why would I want to be with a stranger for 3 hours and looking for how I could practice shortening first dates. He must be left wanting more. Also I wonder if boredom could set in or some draining feeling when the date is long if it is a first time.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:44am

  874. 874: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Good morning ladies! Lets make it a great Friday:)

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 5:53am

  875. 875: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    My tone was irritable and frustrated – Turquoise can you see how this is your issue not his? Also can you see how men respond/react to our tonality not necessarily our words? Can you possibly see how hanging up could be interpreted by him as you acting out on your anger?

    Turq – can you see how this thinking “but I don’t feel I did or said anything to deserve this” could affect your vibe. It is almost like saying you believe he owes you something.

    “But what I heard in his voice, that real anger, feels like too much of a reaction for what happened.” hhhmm this suggests to me that he is not entitled to his anger so he was not allowed to express it. Also it seems that you were also sensitive to his tonality. I wonder if the two of yous anger was bouncing off each other?

    “He’s lumping me in with all the other women who screwed him over or that he hates”. Isn’t this what many men, women too, do? Maybe it is the reason why Rori encourages us to be different so he experiences us as different and not have the opportunity to lump us with others.

    Dating someone who hates most women, is not a good idea – very interesting comment. Did he say this about himself?loween candy.

    “Deep breaths do help. I’m ok. Not even really angry. That was on the surface. Inside I feel like protecting my heart and running away. Being angry makes it my decision to not have him in my life. I see the control issue there.” Reading this I can’t help but wonder if you are being honest with yourself. Is this honoring your anger? How does this compare with how you handled anger with your ex? Also is your anger attracting angry men to you?

    A lot of questions I know but I find facing myself helps me so I am wondering if it could help you uncover anything by asking yourself these tough questions?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:04am

  876. 876: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    RE 836 – Tam – ouch ouch ouch

    I hope you feel better today.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:07am

  877. 877: TamNo Gravatar says:

    876 Thank you FW, do I feel better? Not sure, I feel spent, empty. Numb. It feels better than pain, yes.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:11am

  878. 878: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Numbness to me is like depression. I would keep going until I feel my anger. That is explosive and powerful. Anger can help me move stuff around enough to get me to where I want to be. It is like a explosive propellant for me. It moves me forward. Into action to get me where I want to be. Some things might get blown out of the water in my path but it does get me moving. kabooommmm

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:15am

  879. 879: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    I love my anger.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:15am

  880. 880: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    I had a first date once that later 6 hours and I enjoyed every minute of that one. The guy from last night would’ve wanted the date to be longer than 3 hours. In future first dates, I agree, I will probably set a standard of a shorter date but for now I don’t know what to do with this guy.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:16am

  881. 881: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I want to wallow in misery and throw my fists in the air and cry till my head is read and ugly…but I am adult enough to realise this isn’t going to get me anywhere or help me, and that I have to do it myself and pull myself out of this hole. There is nobody to help and nobody to stroke my head and say ‘all is fine’, so I have to do it myself. Maybe I will just wallow in misery for a little longer, a few hours, and indulge myself, before getting on with it.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:18am

  882. 882: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – (((Tam)))
    Well I feel pretty good & Normal today….and just yesterday I was depressed and feeling sick….so who knows? Maybe you just need to feel bad for a while and cry and it will pass. Sounds like your depressed…maybe its good thing…Just whenever u start rehashing things in your mind…Just keep saying: things are over between Me and —-. Just keep repeating it and feeling the emotions that come up but still keep mentally repeating it.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:19am

  883. 883: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Tam – (((Tam)))
    Well I feel pretty good & Normal today….and just yesterday I was depressed and feeling sick….so who knows? Maybe you just need to feel bad for a while and cry and it will pass. Sounds like your depressed…maybe its good thing…Just whenever u start rehashing things in your mind…Just keep saying: things are over between Me and —-. Just keep repeating it and feeling the emotions that come up but still keep mentally repeating it.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:20am

  884. 884: TamNo Gravatar says:

    FW, yep, agree about the anger..but to be angry at whom or what? I can’t even find anger anymore because I am not angry at anyone. I do love my anger when it is real and it really makes me move. Thing is, I don’t have any anger anymore.
    Because deep down, if I did, it would be against myself, as I have shaped my past with my actions. There is nobody to blame, it is what it is – and that makes it much harder to come to terms with it all.
    It just is and there is nothing I can do except move forward – and I don’t seem to be able to move forward, despite trying all that is available to me.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:24am

  885. 885: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Heart..mmmh. It’s a whole year I have to process and I am nowhere near it, thought I was but no. Well, honestly, the stuff I had to deal with this and last year, some people go through this in maybe 20 years and not two, so something had to give I guess.
    Moving countries, losing, quitting and getting and losing jobs and visas, losing savings, having to crawl back to family, lost love, almost marriage, lost relationship – I don’t even know where to start healing any of this and I thought I had done it and yesterday it all hit me again, and I realised that still I had been brushing it all under the carpet and played the happy, clappy clown with my family and friends….and I just can’t keep it up anymore. No.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:28am

  886. 886: TamNo Gravatar says:

    …and well, quite honestly, I do feel a little angry at people dropping me. From when I was little, I always thought it was my fault when I got dropped.
    My own mother dropped me – luckily my grandp[arents were always there for me but I spent years trying to please her and walk on eggshells around her…in the end her illness (I guess she is bipolar though she threw all her pills in the bin and never told me) meant she broke with everyone and not just me, but I had to be 33 to accept it and walk away. She even stole money from me. And still I was asking myself ‘what did I do wrong?’…perennial question ‘what did I do wrong?’. And yet, we are all humans, nobody is perfect.

    I am just so sick and tired of it all. I am sick and tired of always being alone, always fighting for myself – yet this is the life I chose. I chose this and my life is exciting and all my friends envy me for my life – yet they have no idea how it really is, to move and lose friends (yes, and make new ones), and to not have someone I can depend on, or who cares for me. I feed opff the excitement of moving and meeting new people and being by the seaside etc. But as time passes, the excitement wears down and I am left with myself and my demons, really. And alone.
    I feel weak now, it was easier when I was younger, it really was, and also I was not reflecting so much.
    I don’t know.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 6:37am

  887. 887: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Ram 886- my bhfs mom is bipolar and taking meds for it sometimes. Her issues have led my bf to believe he is as well causing a great deal of self loathing and a very preoccupied mind.. I feel your pain. Keep your chin up!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:00am

  888. 888: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Rebekah. I spent my whole youth trying to keep her calm and happy. And for some reason now, I still feel responsible for people in my life, to have harmony, peace and only good things. Everybody to get along etc.
    It’s really a dream world I try to create, a fantasy world. And I realise that reality is not like this, never will be, no matter how hard I try – and it’s not all up to me. I escape into my head…and my thoughts.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:07am

  889. 889: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Lol TAM, my apologies.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:08am

  890. 890: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    You just described him perfectly, I have heard those words from his mount so many times. My heart breaks every time because I have felt that burden myself and the weight can be unimaginable.. I’ll be thinking positively for you! Come join the real world w me;) just kidding.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:11am

  891. 891: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Sorry if that was insensitive. I mask pain and seriousness with humor way too much.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:11am

  892. 892: MissStixNo Gravatar says:


    You could say “You don’t habe to “do” anything. I just want to feel free to say them.”

    How do you feel about that?

    PS him not knowing how to handle a woman’s feelings isn’t really your problem. That is an issue he could start working on for himself.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:14am

  893. 893: LindaNo Gravatar says:

    I posted last night about my recent baby steps and progress. I feel encouraged today. It is the most awesome day I have had in a long time today and it is only 10:00 am here!

    I feel lighter and bubbly today. Something has shifted in me. I feel more like myself, confident, open to others than I have in a long time. Amazing the energy that it is attracting. I checked in a lady for a procedure this morning and a simple question about next of kin information turned into a really tender sharing with her. She is recently widowed.. just the question caused her to sob. OM Gosh, I felt so bad then I was crying with her. She is 67 and was married for 27 years and divorced…. then 12 years later married the man she recently lost. She said I though my life was over but that was a step toward the happiness for the rest of my life. I just had tears streaming down my face. I dont know if it my heart that feels open that drew her out and talking or if she just needed to talk. Either way I was encouraged and I took opportunity to encourage her. !!! Shift shift shift. Even though I was crying with her at work behind my computer… I was happy to be feeling with her. My heart has been so closed. I did not know how closed it was until today.

    I feel open. my heart is unzippered. My hair that was done just last night looks amazing and I feel pretty.
    My dance card is filling up this AM for the week end. I have a breakfast date on Sat. A dinner date with a guy I was so excited to hear from again on SaT. His energy is way cool to me. Picking me up at 6!… and I heard from the hot man I chatted with last night. He called me sunshine! WOW… my dad used to call me that. We have a date on Monday.

    I am so happy to be feeling open today. ok back to work!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:26am

  894. 894: April RoseNo Gravatar says:


    I love your post
    You sound so feminine and authentic and beautiful

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:32am

  895. 895: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I threw on a Paris of leggings and some black stopper boots (as I call me) lol in the dressingroom at target last night.
    Promised I wasn’t gonna look in the mirror until I was totally dressed. once I looked up I turned a we times then sad dang I look good, flaws and all totally visible haha I loved how girls I felt,p! I’m on a mission this weekend to buy said leggings and a pair of stripper boots:) the first time wearing them out will be earth shattering as far as my confidence is concerned. But I’m gonna wear them and get as many compliments as I can lol

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:32am

  896. 896: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    I feel wayyyy up in my head today. A little manic. Bf told me to ” take it down a notch ” pfffft. He gets the finger.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:33am

  897. 897: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Go Rebekah woooo! Hot sh!t 😀

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:35am

  898. 898: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    There is beauty in our flaws.

    Love to me love to me love to me :)

    I do want to sink into my body and feel soft and feminine. Is my period blocking me? My pelvic area feels….Tight and a bit achy. Not quite crampy. I haven’t had cramps these past 2 times. Interesting…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:38am

  899. 899: MissStixNo Gravatar says:

    Consciously relaxing my shoulders, neck l, arms, fingers, back, butt, legs, feet, toes. Scalp, forhead, cheeks, lips, tongue. Deep breaths. Gentle body. Flowing rivers of softness. I am soft love. I am soft beauty. I am glowing gently.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:41am

  900. 900: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I threw on a pair of leggings and some black stopper boots (as I call me) lol in the dressingroom at target last night.
    Promised I wasn’t gonna look in the mirror until I was totally dressed. once I looked up I turned a we times then sad dang I look good, flaws and all totally visible haha I loved how girls I felt,p! I’m on a mission this weekend to buy said leggings and a pair of stripper boots:) the first time wearing them out will be earth shattering as far as my confidence is concerned. But I’m gonna wear them and get as many compliments as I can lol

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:50am

  901. 901: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix:) thanks! Lol idk why that was a double post..

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:54am

  902. 902: ruthNo Gravatar says:

    well, yknow Miss stix
    that is *exactly* what I said!
    And he just said”well, I dont want to hear it”

    Tam, more big hugs to you

    Its going to take time to process all this

    I dont feel you are back to square one now
    you can feel your feelings and they will get processed much quicker than if they are stuffd down

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:55am

  903. 903: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    Learn from yesterday, life for today, and hope for tomorrow.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:57am

  904. 904: ruthNo Gravatar says:

    Maybe the life you chose was right for you before tam, but isnt now

    I dont know

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 7:57am

  905. 905: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I feel my content, I started to wonder then stopped it. I want to not be lost in my head today, I wanna feel as much as I was yesterday and this morning listening to the radio.

    At first I like the 903 post, but nothing thinking about it, it feels like lots of expectations somehow.. Not sure why. Is hope really an expectation??

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 8:01am

  906. 906: Silver MoonbeamNo Gravatar says:

    I have this on my FB page and my screensaver as of yesterday:

    “Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask yourself do you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.

    Deepak Chopra”

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 8:15am

  907. 907: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    I like that a lot!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 8:24am

  908. 908: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    So the guy I was telling you ladies about has sent me about 6-7 emails in one day. He was asking about my weekend and I’m sensing he wants to ask me out sometime this weekend..
    Now he is saying he is bored and has no date and he is asking me if I want romance and fun with him…And then he is – oh well enjoy your weekend.
    I feel kind of turned off….he’s acting like a combination of Eyore & Tigger from Winnie-the pooh.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 8:39am

  909. 909: HeartNo Gravatar says:

    Also- remember the guy I met on vacation 2 years ago who pit the picture I took of him back then as his FB profile pic..Well the next day he went Nutters…and he changed his FB name to some weird new name and he changed his profile pic to some kind of anime and now he shares a lot of pictures of cats…..

    Now it’s no fb secret that I love cats but still…Dafuq?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 8:47am

  910. 910: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    ActorCD that i was feeling excited to see again stood me up. Which is ok cuz i had another CD with me all day including and past the time he was supposed to meet me. wow

    im really getting more of what i want. CD’s arent leaving me early

    this CD on his own figured out that last time he left, i had nowhere to go…so he said that next time to let him know that and he wont leave

    and thats what he did this time


    im starting to not feel so bad about needing someone to be with me for a long time, whilst before i thought that would be demanding and inappropriate

    but CD’s are giving me the gift of time without me asking now!

    and i DID ask another CD that last time and he came right thru for me… wow!

    so that feels cool

    but days feel boring for some reason

    like today i woke up and i feel annoyed like theres nothing really to look forward to

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 9:01am

  911. 911: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    Well I feel disappointed. CaliCD took his pictures down from match….said he’s not finding what he’s looking for online. Boo…..I’m assuming that includes me.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 9:26am

  912. 912: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:

    I’m going to throw myself a pity party later….complete with wine and chocolate.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 9:31am

  913. 913: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    i won’t be triggered or baited:)
    i am pure love:)

    it worked this morning with my coworker

    omg i feel so good and in love with EVERYTHING

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 9:31am

  914. 914: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    “You don’t habe to “do” anything. I just want to feel free to say them.” <<<< (is NOT an FM. It's an explanation, might not go over well. Rori says in Love Scripts sometimes a man has an emotional cue issue and it Does help to tell him what to do in response … "you don't have to do anything" is helpful

    Man: "well, I dont want to hear it” << (triggered, sounds like something i wouldve expected at my fam)

    Woman: RESPOND!!! more like begging my mom as non-response at times like this gets her anger stuffed and depressed or anxious taking anxiety medication a few hours later. I feel so in pain watching this again and again

    so Woman: "ouch" :( pouty face, hand on heart

    thats all that needs to be said to keep the emotional flow going and not stuff and go to depression!


    or "ouch, i feel angry, im going to leave the room now"

    just do it mom . i feel so anxious. i wan tto communicate this in an inspiring way

    this will CURE your depression mom. pffff. thats it. just this one lil ouch

    or ouch and leaving the room

    booo hoo hoooo triggered

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 9:50am

  915. 915: TamNo Gravatar says:

    The unthinkable has happened. mrP reached out and wants to meet. Just at the time I look and feel like a Zombie and a carbon copy of my former self and about as unsireny and weepy as I can possibly be.
    Impeccable timing, as always.
    Well, that might be interesting…I am out for a function anyways, and said I could meet him after, so he has to make his way here…we will see if he even shows.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:27am

  916. 916: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    Oh Tam,

    What a surprise!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:32am

  917. 917: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    He wants to meet now?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:34am

  918. 918: TamNo Gravatar says:

    He wanted to meet right now, i e at my lunchtime, but I couldn’t get away and suggested evening as I was out anyway, to which he first said ‘no, lunch is better’, and then changed his mind and asked what time I was out….I am not convinced he will even show at this stage but as I am going somewhere else anyway, it won’t matter, as I am not waiting for him, got stuff to do.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:36am

  919. 919: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Well, I could have got away lunchtime but I needed a bit of time to digest this. And I also don’t want to look like I cried for two days. And I also don’t want to jump when he snaps his fingers…so there.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:40am

  920. 920: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Tam I am not surprised he wanted to meet immediately. Remembering degree of difficulty I feel happy you were feeling busy and swept up in what you are doing. Please remember FMs when interacting with him, authenticity and sharing yourself openly.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:43am

  921. 921: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    MissStix- I’m on the FB now yay! :)

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:54am

  922. 922: TamNo Gravatar says:

    920..I will try. I shall try my best in the face of adversity (the brick wall aka ice block)…
    If he even shows, that is. The best practice ever.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:57am

  923. 923: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    tam, why is this the unthinkable? i feel so out of the loop, can you get me up to speed?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 10:58am

  924. 924: TamNo Gravatar says:

    well, there have been some misunderstandings and he has poofed basically. And now I am mush and he turns up, almost like he smelled it.
    I am so not together, so this is going to be interesting.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:05am

  925. 925: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    damn theres over 400 messages in my POF inbox… that means within the last 30 days… :) wow i feel moved and teary and full of myself

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:05am

  926. 926: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thats like having 400 guys approach me in a month… online dating makes this feel way easier hehe

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:08am

  927. 927: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    Tam, wowwie

    How long did he poof for until today?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:29am

  928. 928: BAB/RebekahNo Gravatar says:

    So surprised at myself for the lack of empathy towards my sister who was smacked around by her fiancé of 2 months. She just divorced her husband of 8 years a year ago and idk why I’m not feeling really anything optowards her or him really.
    In my heads thought keeps coming through saying well if she hasn’t left the great guy she had. This wouldn’t have happened.. I know this is wrong thinking but my heart is so closed off to believing her that I’m not feeling a thing..
    This makes me feel that I’m a mess.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:46am

  929. 929: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Tam I am wondering if this is his last opportunity to see you before moving to Europe?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:47am

  930. 930: TamNo Gravatar says:

    ermmm..about three weeks or so. He wanted to meet downtown twice but didn’t want to pick me up and I couldn’t go there otherwise..he was being stubborn and I sent him a long email opening up and so on…pooooooooooofffffffff….then I was in Miami by chance and pinged him and just got a smiley face and a poooooooooooooooooooofffff…so I wasn’t going to stir ever again. The smiley face was just Sunday.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:49am

  931. 931: TamNo Gravatar says:

    FW – He mentioned something about 2013…somewhere, so not sure. He sent me a text today asking my advice regarding that so I blurbed a bit about my experience and said ‘yes, sure you can do it’ and that it was difficult to do it via text…so he wanted to meet straight away. He gets impulsive but I am wary. I don’t want to think too much, he might not turn up as he didn’t want to go of an evening anyway. Whatever, trying to let it go now.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 11:51am

  932. 932: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    I am not too sure what that is about… Some guy I had an ‘imaginary relationship’ with 3 years ago, when I split from little one’s dad but wasn’t really ready, has just asked me to add him to my Skype contacts. We went on one beach date 3 summers ago, but he had been dating a little more seriously a woman then and cancelled the following date. He’s been with her ever since and I know from his FB he’s happy with that woman. What is that about?

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:10pm

  933. 933: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    The funny thing is, we use to FB chat a lot then, but my FB chat is always off now, and I am wondering if he is reaching out…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:18pm

  934. 934: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Siren Angel I would take it as a message to me about how open I am about creating platonic relationships with men.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:19pm

  935. 935: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    Not that I care, but I feel curious as to what prompted this reaching out by asking me to add him on Skype.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:19pm

  936. 936: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    FW, I don’t have a lot of ‘platonic’ relationships with men… Good point. I am not really open to that…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:21pm

  937. 937: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:

    I do have a lot of ‘business’ or ‘coworker’ relationships with men, but very few ‘friendly’ relationships with men.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:22pm

  938. 938: Siren AngelNo Gravatar says:


    I believe we can feel each other’s anger. When you move past your anger with Mr. C, he will likely move past his for you. I would focus on feeling the anger and then moving through it. Nothing will happen before that… I believe.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:25pm

  939. 939: Goddess LilyNo Gravatar says:


    I think he did smell it. They always come back when you least expect it. I feel confident in your siren ways and I hope you do too. I wish you a happy evening regardless of Mr. P.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:26pm

  940. 940: TamNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Goddess Lily, I feel apprehensive as I am feeling fragile and also tired. I was getting nervous but now I just feel tired and worn out from my inner turmoil in the last couple of days. Not sure I am ready for this.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:30pm

  941. 941: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    lolz i feel jealous

    i want cf to come waltzing back

    ohhh love to me 😀

    i’m cute

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:38pm

  942. 942: RadloveNo Gravatar says:

    Sometimes I feel so disappointed in life and so disappointed in men. I don’t think the man I want to spend my life with exists. And I would rather be single than be with anyone else.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:38pm

  943. 943: TamNo Gravatar says:

    941..Starla, don’t be jealous. Waltzing back sounds more glamorous than this. Afraid of going on an evening date because it might men something different to a lunch date. This is overthinkers anonymous, really. MrP doesn’t come waltzing back, he waltzes back and forth a little, then a little sideways, a little quick-step poofing off the dancefloor and so on…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:53pm

  944. 944: StarlaNo Gravatar says:

    hehe i am still jealous

    him coming back so i could speak to him would feel so much better than me leaning forward/chasing him.

    i kind of just wait and wait and wait for it, instead of making a move, because i do remember that i tried to talk to him a number of times for a couple of months without any response from him whatsoever.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 12:58pm

  945. 945: TamNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll report later, when I had the bashing or got stood up… 😉

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 1:15pm

  946. 946: IamabutterflyNo Gravatar says:

    feeling embarassed and kind of bored; just wanted some input.

    so, I had that dream about seenmecry’s girlfriend, right?

    the next night, I walk into class almost late.

    and I’m so chatty and flighty and scatter-brained and I just talk my friends ear off about how I’m glad to see her, and how I bit my lip so hard that I needed to wear red lip gloss to hide it, and how my ear is infected and I can’t hear out of it again…

    and all of the sudden, HE leans forward slowly, like he is really intrigued by the front of the room or something.

    I swear, he was like a gorgeous peacock, making sure that I could see him.

    but he didn’t look at me and he didn’t say anything…

    his head was tilted in my direction though…

    I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped…
    couldn’t help my drink him in…

    I’m wondering what kind of reaction he was expecting out of me?

    did he expect me to continue in my giddy happiness and act all excited to see him?

    he wouldn’t dare say hi to me first with his gf sitting right next to him, but he had to make sure I saw him…

    made me feel angry.

    I just leaned back in my seat and tried to calm my nerves.

    I felt nervous from almost being late anyway, and then when I realized he was like three seats down from me, I felt sooooo much more nervous!

    he probably saw me come in all flustered and chatty and eavesdropped on every silly thing that came out of my mouth.

    He’s a Scorpio. I feel embarassed that I’ve been reading about Scorpio males, but he fits under the umbrella perfectly.

    The intense stare. The manipulation.

    I don’t know if I want to deal with all that…

    but he’s gorgeous and I’m fascinated by him…

    completely different from me…

    with the exception of passion.

    I can tell he’s extremely passionate, as I am….

    but I like freedom.

    a lot.

    and he has a girlfriend!



    need to keep my options open.
    am keeping my options open.

    he sure can get under my skin, though…

    He always stares at me!
    even when he is sitting right next to her!

    I know she has to notice that!
    She’s not an idiot!

    I hate it when men under-estimate women…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 1:22pm

  947. 947: BABNo Gravatar says:

    He’s started saying “I miss you” agsinst, this feels so good to notice. It’s a posative that I’m going the right direction. I love my struggles!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 1:54pm

  948. 948: April RoseNo Gravatar says:


    I feel sad reading about him.
    I feel gloomy when I read about men who have girlfriends or wives, and they flirt with other women.

    I feel sorry you like him so much.
    I wish for you a great man, an available man, who only has eyes and arms for YOU…

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:09pm

  949. 949: April RoseNo Gravatar says:

    I am reading an e-book about respect. It’s called ‘What Men Secretly Want’ by James Bauer.

    I like it because it gives examples about how to talk to a man in a way that captures his attention and intrigues him. He calls it opening a portal into your inner world.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:18pm

  950. 950: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Bounced from commitment blueprint to modern siren. next is love scripts! no tv, just rori

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:45pm

  951. 951: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I need to get more into my feminine power. Being so close to HScd made me blend into him, like in the relationship bubble. Next time, I will not “blend” so much. I was working on love rather than myself. It’s actually the same thing, but I feel so much growth in my feminine power now. I am heartbroken yet he and I are still in love. This is something only I can deal with and get through, but I feel a need to really use Rori’s tools differently. This is my phoenix siren experience as I rise from the ashes of heartbreak to a higher existence as a woman.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:49pm

  952. 952: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I walk down the street and just by making eye contact and smiling every man I pass will speak, nod or smile. I mean EACH ONE. I don’t do it often, I just wanted to test where I was on my siren scale of effectiveness. All systems go!

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:50pm

  953. 953: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I was supposed to hang out with a gf tonight but it seems she isn’t able to come, but that’s okay, I’m going to spend the evening resting and relaxing and then off for some pampering, relaxation and doing things I enjoy tomorrow. I feel balanced. I feel smooth like soft but firm ice cream.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:53pm

  954. 954: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve started back to meditating daily. I don’t see the immediate result except that it makes me feel better at the moment. When I feel a crying spell about to hit, I slow it all down and take a minute to release my thoughts or focus them as I breathe. My skills are improving each day. I’m breaking through a ceiling and personally reaching a heightened existence. It all feels good, but I still miss HScd in my day to day, but I know in my heart I need to rise from that – if he follows, then good. If he doesn’t – I’ll be better for it either way.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 2:56pm

  955. 955: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I am living in a complete siren zone these past few days. I take into consideration my feelings and my energy with everything I do, eat, dress, travel, speak. My feelings are at the forefront of my existence, second to breathing that it. And it’s nothing spectacular – just feels right. I was like this a few months ago, when I felt happy and on top of the world. Odd how I can again achieve that existence in the midst of emotional uproar and uncertainty.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:00pm

  956. 956: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:


    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:03pm

  957. 957: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I am open for whatever and whoever the universe brings my way to experience, explore, etc. I realize I feel in love so hard because I am so in touch with my feelings. I joke and say to myself “is this a curse, to feel so much that I hurt,” but then I realize I’m experiencing life as a siren and there will be mistakes because I’m not perfect, I’m me, and the best I can do is honor my feelings. And my feelings are sailing me out to uncharted territories – wow, I’m exploding with feelings, I feel exuberant yet subdued in a humble kind of way.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:06pm

  958. 958: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    HScd is rubber banding and I’ve decided to step away and keep busy. Yet, he always reaches me eventually. Not playing any games or anything, just going on with my existence. I guess that’s a high degree of difficulty.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:11pm

  959. 959: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    My mom has become obsessed with the idea that I’m ‘hoarding’ because I don’t want to give away my shoes and clothes that I like.

    Now her and my dad are planning to soon throw out more of my things

    After having thrown away my most precious life memoirs, letters from my lovers etc, which broke my heart but she didn’t exactly apologize for

    She thinks they’re ‘encouraging my ‘hoarding’ behavior’ by having my stuff in the house

    They took this stuff out my room and moved it when my closet was being built

    This is my stuff

    I feel panicked

    I feel furious

    I want to protect myself and my things somehow.

    I don’t know how to do this

    I can let them know I’d take them to court if they destroy anymore of my things?

    I can’t mention having thrown away my letters as that’s a federal crime and I don’t want to get them sent to jail

    Fuchk I feel worried about my stuff

    I feel sad

    Just when I was beautifying my room and feeling a measure of emotional safety

    I feel like I’m a barrell and someone’s tightening my fastenings, especially around my back

    I notice a pattern of life = unbeatable tragedy perception

    Will it ever be safe?

    Probably not

    Dead pressing hard to box in my anger feeling

    I love my depress my anger feeling

    I feel so angry

    I feel like bashing my moms head on the wall

    Why would I be born in this situation?

    I feel angry at this

    My parents are psychos who take out their control issues on me, and I have no other family around, and the environment is social oppression and forced labor to have access to earth food


    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:13pm

  960. 960: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    My leaning back, stepping back has been going wonderfully! I have not made one attempt to contact him via anyway form or fashion!!! It is empowering. Our only interactions and contact happen if he reaches out to me and can actually reach me at that time. But when we do speak, we actually connect. This is the most confusing experience with a man I’ve ever had in my life

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:14pm

  961. 961: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:


    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:21pm

  962. 962: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    I feel like going out for a walk in the night sirens, later.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:22pm

  963. 963: LoveAlwaysNo Gravatar says:

    Daria – I luv the way you riff – it’s inspiring.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:25pm

  964. 964: April RoseNo Gravatar says:


    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:30pm

  965. 965: forest sirenNo Gravatar says:

    Just a few lines to say this stuff works so well! I just got back from a short trip with Lionman. We had the best time. He was so solicitous of my feelings and needs and took care of everything. I’ve been practicing so many things and it’s coming more naturally to me. And it was a truly relaxing trip because I gave up all control and the more I did that the more assertive decisive and masculine he became and the more I respected him and it’s like he could feel that and it just fed itself in a really positive way.

    I’ve been trying out different behaviors one being doing what he says with no arguments or debates. And the less I do that the more I realize how much I was subtly undermining him while thinking I was reinforcing him. It makes me feel safer because the whole trip I saw he was considering ‘us’ as opposed to what used to happen when we were two individuals. He was making decisions for us but asking how I felt about them. Heaven!

    I am experiencing the connection I have longed for with him and it feels so good! He was so protective of me and my safety. I feel trusting. And we laughed so much.

    I also practiced asking men on an energetic level to do things for me ie open the door let me go first and I can do it! It’s like silently I let them feel my presence and then receive. They can feel me for sure.

    My next thing to observe is how great I feel when other women are drawn to Lionman but his energy is on me. It happens to him a lot I can see women try to engage him even in front of me. I have always felt so insecure about this but this week I was almost indulging it smiling at it playing with it not angry about it be ause I felt rock solid secure in his attention. This is huge for me it used to make me so angry and led to a huge shut down pushing away energy from me. I noticed I was pulling the women to me with my energy as well, they were still attracted to him but I could see they knew I didn’t feel threatened by them they were like my sisters. This is a big one for me still have work there round other women wanting my man it’s happened in the past for me and was very painful in another relationship.

    Talking about myself is feeling less selfish and is getting such sweet results. Thank you Rori Raye thank goodness for you and this blog.

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:53pm

  966. 966: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    thanks Love Always

    Friday, 9 November 2012 @ 3:59pm

  967. 967: DariaNo Gravatar says:

    i feel dead over anger



    hard wall pressing on my anger

    reminds me of what my mom ‘feels’ like


    want to balme

    hasnt even apologized for that huge huge personal loss she caused throwing away my letters

    i can tell by reading her mind she thinks well its something i have to do for the best

    how disrespectful

    feeilng powerless

    feeling so angry

    soo sooo angry

    that going to pass out from dizzyness anger

    that want to break their stuff anger


    now feeling limp and sad

    stupid people who suck my energy and wont let me sleep

    i was going to ask to have help getting my door sound proofed today, but now i feel so … dead… i dont feel safe to be vulnerable

    and yet i wind up tolerating hearing htem argue with predictably – rolling my eyes – dialogues that would heal instantly if

    this woman just practiced some respect for someone’s time or soem communication of emotions or even just walking away


    i feel like bashing my head on the wall and slapping someone at the same time

    plus theres arguments about ME where my dad talks about throwing my stuff away

    cuz he doesn’t give a shit about