As you know, I love and support Orna and Matthew – and so here’s a guest post from them with a notice of an upcoming event!
by Orna and Matthew Walters
We’ve heard from many people since we started relationship coaching asking us if it is too late for them to find love. The funny thing is these questions come from people in their 30’s all the way up to their 60’s. All of them believe that because they haven’t found lasting love yet, that it may not be in the cards for them. This is one myth we’d love to bust for all of you!
Love is so vast and limitless that it can be difficult to wrap our minds around it. Our brain attempts to make love tangible and therefore limited and this is not based in any universal law or truth.
We started dating and got married after 40 and many people said that we were “lucky.” The facts are that we both made plenty of mistakes in love. In fact, we often joke that we became relationship experts because between the two of us we had made every mistake you could in love.
The truth is we both did the inner work required of us to be open to receive love. Here are some of the actions we took to create love in our lives:
1. We learned from the mistakes of past relationships.
Most people look at relationships that didn’t work out as failures. They respond to heartbreak by saying “Never again!” and either feel blame for screwing it up or blame their partner for not being enough. Instead look at each relationship as an opportunity to learn about yourself. Find the Golden Nugget of why this person showed up in your life and what did you learn in your time with them.
2. We were clear on what we wanted.
This doesn’t mean we had lists that described how tall, what color hair, or how much money our soul mate would have. We looked at what values were important to us, how would we like to feel when we were with our soul mate and what kind of relationship we would we create together.
3. We took different actions.
There is an old saying that goes “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.” If you continue the same dating patterns, looking for love in the same places, how can you expect to have a different outcome. Take a class in something new, join a different online dating site, or work with a coach.
It is never too late for love! The desire in your in heart exists because it can be fulfilled. The Truth is that it doesn’t matter if we believe there is a chance for you to meet someone, all that matters is what YOU believe is possible for you.
We live in a society obsessed with youth. Do not let this cultural addiction affect your mindset around love. How long do you plan to live? With medical advances, it is likely many of us currently in our 40s and 50s will live to and past 100. Does this change your perception?
We do not subscribe to the belief that love is about luck and chance. We believe that our inside creates our outside; our beliefs about ourselves and the world create what we experience.
No man is going to make you feel better about yourself. The inner work that we guide our clients through allows them to feel good about themselves. Feeling good about themselves allows them to attract a better partner, a good match, and create a True Soul Partnership. This is the process of creating love on purpose – it is deep inner work, which creates powerful profound shifts in our client’s ability to manifest what they desire.
Love is not something you have to seek out, discover, or “fall” into – rather, its energy is there for you at any moment that you surrender to its calling and open to receive its gentle embrace. Once realized that the source of the love you seek is inside of you, no one can take it away from you.
Orna and Matthew Walters are Master Relationship Coaches and are dedicated to busting the myth that love is supposed to happen by accident. You can catch them as guest experts on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker airing January 29th. More info on Orna and Matthew at their website www.CreatingLoveOnPurpose.com