Comments on: How To Turn Sadness Around In Seconds http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/overfunctioning/turn-sadness-around/ Marriage & Relationship Advice From Rori Raye Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:37:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=8304 By: Lynn http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/overfunctioning/turn-sadness-around/comment-page-1/#comment-49395 Lynn Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:10:17 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=15#comment-49395 Hi Rori, Thanks for replying to my comments. I have kids with disablities and that in itself is a challenge. Dealing with other people is always a challenge too and it feels good to hear from you about feeling like we don't have the right to feel what we are feeling and the bad mood that comes with it. I have found many relationships with people are like this because I think we buy into their "how dare you feel that way, and if you feel that way I am going to take something away from you to make you hurt"! Then we hurt even more if we buy it! It's the loses that make me stronger I think, especially after standing up for myself. Thanks Rori Hi Rori,

Thanks for replying to my comments. I have kids with disablities and that in itself is a challenge. Dealing with other people is always a challenge too and it feels good to hear from you about feeling like we don’t have the right to feel what we are feeling and the bad mood that comes with it. I have found many relationships with people are like this because I think we buy into their “how dare you feel that way, and if you feel that way I am going to take something away from you to make you hurt”! Then we hurt even more if we buy it! It’s the loses that make me stronger I think, especially after standing up for myself. Thanks Rori

]]> By: Rori Raye http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/overfunctioning/turn-sadness-around/comment-page-1/#comment-49372 Rori Raye Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:53:07 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=15#comment-49372 Lynn, Welcome - and I'm so happy you brought this up. Don't stuff your feelings so that your kids have to "pick up on them." What you want to show them is how to be IN TOUCH with feelings - that's how to help your kids in this world. This means you say - straight out - "Oh, kids, I'm feeling a bit blue today...just a bunch of things, but seeing your lovely faces makes me smile, and I don't want to pretend I don't feel blue - because I want you to feel okay feeling blue, too, if you ever do...hey - anyone want to join me in painting a blue picture?"...In other words...a bad "mood" is what happens when you don't feel you have the right to feel what you feel. Just go there, and then go somewhere else? Whoops - this is post worthy - going to put it up now...Love, Rori Lynn, Welcome – and I’m so happy you brought this up. Don’t stuff your feelings so that your kids have to “pick up on them.” What you want to show them is how to be IN TOUCH with feelings – that’s how to help your kids in this world. This means you say – straight out – “Oh, kids, I’m feeling a bit blue today…just a bunch of things, but seeing your lovely faces makes me smile, and I don’t want to pretend I don’t feel blue – because I want you to feel okay feeling blue, too, if you ever do…hey – anyone want to join me in painting a blue picture?”…In other words…a bad “mood” is what happens when you don’t feel you have the right to feel what you feel. Just go there, and then go somewhere else? Whoops – this is post worthy – going to put it up now…Love, Rori

]]> By: Lynn http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/overfunctioning/turn-sadness-around/comment-page-1/#comment-49087 Lynn Mon, 12 Jul 2010 05:04:45 +0000 http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?p=15#comment-49087 Hi Rori, This is an incredible thing that I have been doing already for the past while. It has been a challenge because these feelings come up sometimes when I am not in a situation that makes it easy to deal with, such as looking after all my kids. My kids pick up on it and that makes for a bad mood at times. It helps though to dig it up and get with it, get it out there and dealt with. I find that it makes me stronger and healthier the next time things feel this way. The fear gets smaller, the triggers get weaker, until I can be in that area of my feelings and not get all intense and anxious. Hi Rori,

This is an incredible thing that I have been doing already for the past while. It has been a challenge because these feelings come up sometimes when I am not in a situation that makes it easy to deal with, such as looking after all my kids. My kids pick up on it and that makes for a bad mood at times. It helps though to dig it up and get with it, get it out there and dealt with. I find that it makes me stronger and healthier the next time things feel this way. The fear gets smaller, the triggers get weaker, until I can be in that area of my feelings and not get all intense and anxious.

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