Is It Busy Out There – Or Busy In My Mind?

tightropeSome thoughts about New York City and the lessons I’m learning here – about me:

1. Wanting groceries makes me feel fragile – and I’m not.

The Question that got me started on that is this: How does anyone get their groceries home in NYC?

They’re heavy. You have to do it one meal at a time.

I KNOW people cook – the places I’ve stayed in (my airbnb rental apartments) have cookbooks.

I would feel foolish getting a cab to go a few blocks…just because I have a bag or two of groceries. And yet – walking home with heavy bags seems impossible.

And I haven’t seen one person rolling a grocery shopping cart of any kind. (Perhaps they do – I just
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I Need Your Help On My New Program for Moms

desertmomIf you’re a single mom, please comment for me here (or email me privately) and let me know how you manage to Circular Date – or even to date the traditional,  one-man-at-a-time way.

How you handle baby-sitting, when and how you let a man interact with your children, how you manage your time, what’s the best kind of date – time, place, activity, etc. …

I have many ideas about unusual and non-traditional ways things can go – one is about the possibility of a much more casual kind of Circular Dating, where you let a man meet your kids not necessarily because he’s a “keeper,” but because he might be “fun” – and I want
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A Safe Man vs. A Dangerous/Sexy Man

closedeyemanA man who is by nature emotionally safe to be with can LEARN to become more dangerous and sexy if we’re willing to go there and “teach” and “inspire” by example.

His hormonal makeup is different from the high-testosterone “dangerous/sexy” man – so it’s not instinctive.

And a dangerous/sexy man can learn to be “safe” – through healing his “trust” mechanism.

Though hormones may make that more difficult than it is for the “nice” man to develop an “edge.”

The level of a man’s ability to see you as “not about HIM” (I’m not talking about the healing, spiritual concept of “we’re all one”), and desire, instinctively, to make you feel good and happy, is what makes it possible for him to learn.

Basically, it’s about the “size” of a man’s heart, and the “depth” of his character…

Love, Rori


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Be On My Private List….

navigating loveOops! If you tried to sign up to my Private List here on this post before 4:45 pm PDT – the brilliant new tech wasn’t working – so you didn’t actually get signed up, and you didn’t get to download “Navigating Love” – so please try again:

I’m about to create some new programs, interviews, reports – all FREE to my Private List – so be sure to get on it and pick up “Navigating Love” to start–>>

To Get Free Teleclasses, Live Events, Special Programs, Bonuses, New Love Tools, AND – Instantly start reading my “Navigating Love” ebook for free

Love, Rori

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What To Do When He Says…

save relationshipHere’s a letter from Ann, who’s facing a very common dilemma you’ll surely face in a developing relationship, a long term relationship, or Circular Dating – especially when you’re just starting out with the Rori Raye Tools:

The Question:

“Rori, I’d like to thank you for the advice you’ve given me along the way. The longer I live by it, the better my life gets! Not just my love life!

I’ve had a few incidents now where guys ask me why I don’t get in touch, saying that I ‘wait’ for them to initiate.. and I don’t really know what to say. Have any other women encountered this problem? Thank you, Ann”

My Answer:

If a man looks at you, bewildered (or even judgmental) and asks why you “don’t get in touch” – just say the truth!!

(Try this only one line at a time – however you’re feeling it – instead of trying to fit it all in…):
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What To Do When He Seems Distant…

maninbottleJumping off a comment from “Z”:

The Question:

“Rori, So I love this. M and I have been seeing each other 4 months now. Before him, I’ve never trusted a man to have his space, his alone time, his time away. In the past, it would trigger my insecurities and I’d lean forward to try and find out if anything was wrong, what was going on with him, what I could do to make him come to me.

I do have a bit of a question here – for those of you who have (like me) had to work really hard to lean back and not try and control/fix/mother a man, do you ever worry that by leaning back he might see it
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Feel It…Don’t ACT From It…

blacklabyrinthWhat propels you?

I totally get “anxiety”- just from being in Manhattan these two weeks.

There’s so much going on outside your apartment window – it’s hard not to feel a sense of “urgency” about nearly everything .

It’s hard not to pick up “vibes” from everyone else and feel them, and think they’re yours.

It scrambles with your head – and it makes you want to “fix” instead of “be.”

That’s why, for me, NYC is the ultimate “Circular Dating” platform.

I also have to say this: For me, most New Yorkers are absolute Zen Masters.

They should be fraught with anxiety, buzzing, all shallow, all “Listening To
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What To Say To Him When…

questionmarkHere’s what I consider a great, in-depth answer to when to tell a man you have a “secret” of any kind – and this particular one is about STD’s:


Dana’s* secret: “I have an STD.”
When Dana, 39, of Brooklyn, NY was diagnosed with genital herpes, she was convinced her dating days were over-she felt completely alone. But in truth, her situation was far from unique: One out of five people have this sexually transmitted disease. Gradually, Dana’s self-confidence rebounded after her diagnosis, and treatments curbed her symptoms (she hasn’t had an outbreak in over ten years). But one big issue remained: Dates rarely reacted well when she shared her news. “I used to tell guys on the first
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A Note From The Universe – Truth-Telling

save relationshipThis one totally knocked me out:

“Nothing heals, helps, cures, mends, builds, clears, stabilizes, fixes, balances, restores, corrects, inspires, enables, empowers, enlightens or tickles, Rori, better than the truth.

Ask for it by name,
The Universe”

Go here to get your own Notes From The Universe –>> (I still get them every day and feel inspired by each one – yet I could feel my entire body and being just relax, get still and easy when I started reading this one…

Whenever I feel sad, or confused, or defeated, or anxious -

I now ask myself: “What am I telling myself?”

And then I ask “What am I not telling myself?” 

Then I ask “What am I not telling another person?”

It’s usually my man I’m withholding the truth from, or trying to figure out HOW to withhold the truth.

And then – to keep me feeling consistent – I automatically start not telling myself the truth, either.

Then I start making up all kinds of things.

If this feels familiar to you – Here’s what I do to “right” the boat that’s me, floating in life (even though not being “right” and floating in life lopsided or upside down or any-which-way is just fine, too…):

After I ask myself those questions above, I just start telling myself the truth.

I stand still and put the words together.

I own whatever it is I feel most afraid of or disgusted by.

Even though I can feel the fear and the discomfort – I can also feel a kind of “sinking in.”

I can feel myself being more “me.”

And that feels better than what I “think” would be the result of anything I could make up.

Love, Rori


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Marry Smart?

ringI followed a comment thread about Susan Patton’s “Marry Smart” for a bit, and started to weigh in…and then realized we’d all be better served if I wrote it here and opened up a discussion!

The book Marry Smart isn’t about being smart about getting married – it’s about marrying a “smart” man.

The concept is: You’ll never find a bigger, better pool of available, smart men as you will in college – and so you’d better figure that into your plans when you’re young and there.

Sigh…So sad we’re still in this conversation at all.

All of us reading about it, writing our thoughts…

Here’s a comment on the blog that stood out to me (perhaps it’s because “Damain” is a man, and I generally don’t allow men on the blog at all…). I experienced
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