If You Can’t Sleep In The Same Bed…

upsetinbedThe Question:

“I sleep very badly with my boyfriend and feel awful in the morning. Being alone for several years, I’m a light sleeper.

I suggested we sleep in separate beds but this nearly broke up the relationship, so I tried, but I’m hopeless on three hours sleep and wake in the night at every movement and noise from him.

Now I want to tell him I have to sleep alone in order to feel good and sexy in the morning. What is the problem mine or his? Genie”

My Answer:

Genie – The problem is yours.

AND it’s FIXABLE!!!

In my world, it cuts way back on the possibilities of emotional intimacy over time if you can’t
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Red Flags And “The Bachelor” – Comments, Please….

rosestemThis year – I’m giving the discussion of “The Bachelor” to “Liquid Light” from the blog community.  Liquid Light – the floor is yours (here’s your first comment):

“Thoughts on the Bachelor and red flags.

The two finalist this season, Claire and Nikki, were both shown red flags by the bachelor Juan Pablo during the show. And they both chose to ignore them. (For those of you who haven’t sent the show, this season’s bachelor is reviled for being selfish and insensitive, careless etc.).

Claire seemed to be shocked and devastated when JP rejected her and chose Nikki. However, she was shown plenty of red flags along the way (most egregious to me was him shaming her after their interlude in the ocean, and him insulting her off camera on their last date).

And yet, she ignored these things and was devastated when he didn’t pick her.

She woke up though and gave him a piece of her mind, which I think everyone enjoyed watching. Hahaha! Then Nikki, though she was the chosen one, now has a very non-committal man who seems like he is stringing her along and is making no promises to her.

So interesting how we as women so often ignore the red flags in front of us and proceed forward anyway.

I know I did this with my ex again and again.

I see it now, but at the time, I just didn’t want to see the red flags and so I stuck my head in the sand and pretended they weren’t there.

It seems so obvious now looking back though. Sigh.

I really don’t want to do that again, and this time around I’m determined to see any red flags clearly and move on sooner rather than later.

I know its not easy sometimes but I’m determined that this won’t happen to me again. I just can’t and won’t go through that again. It was absolutely awful. Liquid Light”

***From Rori:

Thank you, Liquid Light – and I look forward to reading any more “aha moment” comments from all of you that can give us a “take-away” from this show.

Love, Rori

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The New “Girls” – One Step Forward And Two Steps Backward

bad boyOkay – forget that whole “role model” thing for Hannah of “Girls” that I talked about last post…

This last week on the show, she did stuff (I won’t “spoiler alert”)  that put her backwards two steps…

Adam did stuff and said stuff that made him even more the romantic hero…sigh…

It’s not about “being young.”

It’s about letting our insecurities get the better of us, narrow our vision down so we feel
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More About Marriage “Statistics” and “Girls”

woman in chairHere’s my comment on the “statistics” article I posted a few days ago: http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/commitment/statistics-on-what-makes-a-man-marry-a-specific-woman/

Yes, I deliberately posted this article to be provocative…

No one wants to hear this kind of stuff.

It can inspire you – and, most likely, it makes you “resist” and feel crappy if you don’t have what the “data” suggests you’re “supposed” to have.

As for the “information” in this particular article: What “most” people think or do is not what I want MY life to be about – or what I want YOUR life to be about!

And yet, I think the article is an example that: We need to stare “What Is” in the face. (Even if
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Statistics On What Makes A Man Marry A Specific Woman…

fern on rockThis is gangbusters: Statistics:

http://www.theminorityeye.com/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/

Let me know your reaction…I read every word….

Love, Rori

 

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Free Love On Purpose Revolution

love adviceSo many of my friends are speaking on this fabulous “Love On Purpose Revolution” – and it’s all free!

Orna and Matthew Walters put this project together (you already know how much I respect and love their work, and just adore them as people  – kind, good, smart – truly great coaches), and I’m blown away by what they’ve accomplished in just a few short years.

They’ve figured out a way to bring together the best folks in the relationship “niche” to give you great, free interviews and talks, so you can get
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What If I Trusted Me?

sedona 077 200I’ve really noticed that the word Trust is so “loaded.”

To say: “I trust myself.”

That feels really hard sometimes.

Sometimes I don’t trust myself to drive. I don’t trust myself know where I am

So I’m putting some new words to that and here are my new words:

I feel unsafe.

I feel unsafe with myself.

I feel unsafe here in this place.

I feel unsafe with this man right at this moment.

So… What does safety have to do with it and how can I start to feel safe?
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Bobbi Palmer’s Free Webcast & Videos!

datingI just got this from Bobbi Palmer (I love her) – and started watching her free videos right away…take advantage:

“Are you ready to fall in love with a great guy? The one you have in mind is probably smart, charming, interesting, fun, hot!

But your challenge is where to meet him, right? This is one of the most common complaints from women: Where are all the quality men?! And that’s especially loud coming from women in their 40s, 50s and
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The Theme Park Of You

rollercoasterInside me I feel so much I can’t even keep it straight. Carousels and rollercoasters – an entire theme park of emotion. A carnival of feelings.

And – who cares what those feelings are!

I can say I feel mad at this, I feel sad from that, I feel glad because of this, I feel afraid of that….but it really doesn’t matter.

The only reason for discovering any of it is to become more aware of
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We Need A New Name For This:

Have Book 224A “Healthy” Relationship. A Non-Co-Dependent Relationship. A Non-Toxic Relationship…

Let’s come up with some NEW names for “what we want” that are inspiring!

Here are some I thought up – please add yours, and I’ll start writing about them…:

  • Interdependent Relationship
  • Evolving Relationship
  • Enlightened Relationship
  • Unbound Relationship
  • Untied Relationship
  • Moving Relationship
  • Journey Relationship
  • Heart-Centered Relationship(over-used…)
  • Open-Hearted Relationship
  • Two-Handed Relationship
  • Flowing Relationship
  • Transformational Relationship (overused…)
  • Expanding Relationship
  • Team Relationship
  • Awake Relationship
  • Conscious Relationship (WAY overused…)
  • Intentional Relationship
  • Expanded Relationship
  • Expansive Relationship
  • Pit-Crew Relationship (kinda like this…)
  • Inspired Relationship
  • Creative Relationship
  • Evolutional Relationship
  • Quality Relationship
  • Sack Race Relationship
  • Inventive Relationship
  • Empowered Relationship
  • Empowering Relationship
  • Evolutionary Relationship

Love, Rori

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