“Hi Rori, I have a question for you about the ‘Girlfriend Trap.’ I love the concept, but if a man officially asks a lady to be his ‘girlfriend,’ how does one decline – without putting him ‘off’?”
And here’s my answer:
Blue Eyes – If he asks you to be his “Girlfriend” – that’s your opoportunity to talk about what that means to him, and what it means to you.
If you’re very young, in college, and marriage is somewhere far off for you – being a “Girlfriend” is totally the way to go. It’s great practice, you learn a lot, you get and give all kinds of love.
But if what you want NOW is a real, serious, lifelong relationship and marriage, then you have to ask.
You say: “Wow – that feels fantastic, and before I can accept, can we talk a bit about what that means?”
He’ll say something like – “What do you mean?”
You say: “Well, for me to give up my options and be exclusive with anyone “… (remember – you’re Circular Dating up to the moment he asks you for exclusivity, right?) …”I would only feel comfortable with that if I can feel secure that you’re thinking about me seriously…If you’re interested in marriage down the line, and I can feel comfortable that you know that’s what I’m thinking…”
Please – rewrite this speech in your OWN Feeling Messages, and use it as a way to get CLOSER to your man. Intimacy means TALKING.
Perhaps, to him – a “Girlfriend” is for now – or he’s looking at YEARS while he figures out what he wants with you “down the line.”
And what you want is a man who wants you FOREVER – and “Girlfriend” is a very short-term step before “Fiance.”
Let me know what you think and FEEL about this…