Stop The Fight Before It Starts And Get The Cherishing You Want Without Caving In, Playing Nice, Or Stuffing What You Need Under The Rug

By Rori Raye | May 17, 2024

If you’re experiencing anything like this, read on for answers you can use right away:

You know he doesn’t mean to be mean, but it sure feels bad.

All you want to talk about is making your relationship better, but he takes it as a personal insult.

Instead of hearing you, even a little, he quickly defends himself, and then immediately accuses you of being needy, picky, or over-emotional.

You know he’s just taking everything personally, and you’re trying so hard to be nice and gentle, but the way he throws things back at you makes you feel like you’re the one who’s all wrong.

And before you know it – you’re fighting.

Even if you’re not a fighter… You can’t help but defend yourself when he’s saying things you know aren’t true!

If this is your story, I so get it.

The simple truth of your situation might be that your man just isn’t able, in that moment, to control himself. He might not even hear himself saying what he’s saying, not be aware of what he’s doing.

He for sure isn’t able to “step back” for a second and see how what he’s saying is hurting you.

Yes, he’s wounded. His pride is hurt. And he makes you feel bad for even questioning him.

The thing is, this story – and your situation – is not about a bad guy!

He’s not trying to hurt you. He doesn’t really want to be petty and small and reactive.

But he is because he doesn’t know any other way to communicate.

And he doesn’t know any other way to react to your genuine and right requests for improvement in how things go between you.

But fights are happening all the time. They just do.

It feels like a cycle that can never be fixed.

It feels like you’re back in school, with a bully, or somebody who just doesn’t get anything.

Fighting is really icky. It’s ugly and soul destroying, and it makes you feel like you don’t know how to communicate.

But it’s not your fault – and there’s a solution! A Siren solution.

You have to be the one to go first.

You have to be the one to stop the fight before it happens and to start the conversation when he doesn’t know how.

And, it’s fair and reasonable for you to ask me: But why? Why do I have to be the one?

My answer is: It’s because you’re a Siren, and you know many things he doesn’t.

This may seem like a very complex process that takes you years and years to figure out, but you could really learn how to stop a fight before it starts (without going cold or hiding your feelings) – in just a few days!

The trick is to learn the Siren Tool, and practice it with someone who knows how to do it!

The Siren Island Course & Community is set up to help you with this in the most affordable way, only $33 a month, where you’ll get help from brilliant, professional, Siren School coaches – and me!

You’ll get immediate access to live classes, videos, exclusive Guides and Tools, with Master Coach Teachers coaching and “Scripting” you in classes every week, helping you with immediate problems, and filling up your emotional tank with support and Tools to make a difference in your love (and work!) life – right away.

Once you start finding what it is you really Want – even when you feel triggered by a man’s behavior – everything changes. You won’t be a slave to your old “triggers” anymore.

Yes, I’m asking you to be the one to open a new door and step through it first – but the rewards are so fast and incredible!

You’ll get to find out what your man is actually capable of.

You’ll get to find out if a man 3 months into dating is just putting on a good show, or if he’s really capable of not being so instantly defensive and accusatory.

Imagine what it would be like if you were able to tell him what’s really bothering you – and he didn’t fire back at you!

If he actually just stood there and heard you…

If, instead of stepping away from you, he stepped toward you…

If he actually asked you a question rather than defended himself.

Feminine Energy is about the truth. And, yes, you can handle the truth.

On Siren Island, your story will be appreciated and honored. 

The magical trick here is to switch your focus:

To stop what we normally do, which is to focus on what isn’t going well: the anger you feel, the disappointment, the feeling of being hit with a brick and being disoriented by a man’s words and actions.

That stuff is hard. It’s not fun, it completely changes your state of being and throws you into “the pits” – yet:

If you switch your focus into what you actually WANT from him – on the deepest level – on what would make you feel happy, on the end goal you Want: love, affection, attention, connection, thrills, juiciness…all that good stuff…and can SAY that to a man in words he can hear, like:

“I feel good when I feel close to you, and I want to feel that great feeling I have when we’re connected and talking…how can we get there…?” (Yes, a lot of “feel” words – but they WORK!!!)

…That’s when everything changes, he wakes up, he feels like he knows what to do, and…bingo…he figures it out.

Talking about those things are foreign to most of us. Nobody ever taught us how, because everybody’s always skipping around the outside of things. Everyone’s always hinting and not being straightforward.

On Siren Island, you feeling authentically you, and in your Feminine Energy, are the keys to everything…

Join us in the Siren Island Course & Community for just a month, at $33, if it feels like a gamble!
Take the gamble, and see how much of your love life gets changed in just that one month!

If you sign up before Monday at 11am US Central time, you’ll get a Siren Island ticket to my monthly live Masterclass/Workshop, where I film my podcast/videocast, address your most difficult situations, and answer questions after the filming stops!

This Monday, I’ll be tackling Stopping A Fight Before It Starts, lay the solution out for you in steps, and answer questions about anything else you’re curious or concerned about right now.

Hope to see you there on Monday, here’s the link:

Love, Rori

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Getting On the Love Train No Matter How Angry You Feel!

By Rori Raye | May 6, 2024

We’re all so different.

Your history is so different from others.

Anger is a big deal. I know I’ve “exploded” like anybody else.

I’ve also stuffed it down like so many of us.

I’ve fallen prey to my anger and rage – not as a useful thing – but as an “enemy”, destructive kind of thing.

I want to stop that for you, before you start.

So, I’ve really put this together from a lot of different places that I believe you can actually use right now to make a big difference in your energy level, into what you see out there, into how you relate to men and to everybody else, even bosses.

It doesn’t matter who.

The anger you’re experiencing is in direct proportion to the energy and the effort that you are putting out.

Think of this in a romantic way:

You’re feeling crunchy.

You’re feeling angry.

You’re feeling untouched.

You’re feeling unloved.

And yet, your instinct, because of your unique background and the way you do things, is to be nice to… Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »

What To Do When He Says Or Does Something That Hurts Emotionally

By Rori Raye | May 3, 2024

So, he’s saying something that hurts.

That feels like a separation, a disconnect.

You just sort of back up emotionally, maybe even physically step back…or, you start feeling the anger and rage boil up, your fists are clenched, your body gets tight, your face goes rigid…ready for a fight, ready to run, ready to swing, ready to swing at yourself instead.

If you’re on The Modern Siren “track” – a moment comes where you become aware of ALL of that!

You can feel your whole body tense, you can feel the words stuck inside you and wanting to come out and do damage to him, or push him away, or run away yourself and cut yourself off from him forever…extremes on all ends…and you realize it all! – that, oh my gosh, I feel this.!

So, if I’m on the love train I go, “You know what? I feel love for myself, I feel love for this room.”

Already that makes me want to cry. I feel love for my hand that tells me because I wanted to cry that I opened up.

I got off the mental train and I got onto the love train, and I opened up, and I felt sad. I felt moved. Very helpful. helpful catch.

So, he says this, and I feel this.

And now I love myself and I love this room and I love outside and I’m expanding, and I love life, I love being alive, I love feeling alive, and whatever’s going on here, I can feel it and I can express it in a different way.

I can say, “Ooh, I’m feeling a lump in my stomach.” He’ll probably go, “Huh? What?” I’m just feeling a lump in my stomach.

I want to make this absolutely clear – we’re not “excusing” him for bad behavior.  We’re not skipping over it, or ignoring it, or sweeping it under the rug.

All we’re doing here is becoming aware of everything we’re feeling and thinking.

Learning to feel everything we’re feeling instead of burying it, and, at the same time, processing it all in a way that allows you to “respond” with your truest feelings, instead of “reacting” with old patterns that don’t really mean anything for you

Responding with the deepest truthfulness you can unearth will get you to what you Want, and reacting will literally get you nowhere near what you Want.

Check out The Feminine Energy WANT Course – it’s a total shortcut to changing the dynamic between you and a man literally overnight.  

Once you learn the WANT 6-Steps, you’ll be amazed how much more confident, steady and “okay” you feel no matter what’s going on…and how men suddenly start to “hear” you, respond to you, and are willing to brave getting emotionally closer to you when you ask for what you want!

Love, Rori

From Anger To Love With Wonder Woman’s Help

By Rori Raye | May 2, 2024

You’re standing with a man you like, or love, or can’t stand at all – and you’re feeling angry.

We’re using the metaphor and imagery of Wonder Woman here, to make it more fun and easy – so let yourself imagine Wonder Woman’s choice’s, feelings, thoughts, if she were here experiencing what you’re experiencing right this moment.

She’s automatically processing (because it’s her nature to process this way) – and let’s say her first feelings, like yours, are rage…yet, they then go to a different place, to what she Wants, and the Love she feels in a powerful way:

“I’m just loving people, myself, who I need to protect, and everyone around me and everything, and life in general and power, and I’m going to “move” for that. I’m sorry, I have to fight you, I may have to kill you. That feels terrible and sad.  And yet, I can’t let you hurt this other person.”

Very different than, “How dare you? I’m just going to get rid of you…”

And if you’re anything like me, you have that “How dare you? I’m just going to get rid of you…” feeling… Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »

What To Say When He Freezes You Out – Video

By Rori Raye | April 20, 2024

Everything about ghosting, his dropping “contact” and disappearing, his taking a week “off” of connecting with you or texting with you can make us feel literally crazy.

We can feel like we’re missing something.

Like we did something, or didn’t do something that was crucial, that he picked up on, that changed everything between us.

And we instantly become determined to “fix” whatever happened.

As we start building that energy up of wanting to “fix” it – we literally start pushing our enrgy at him – which instantly pushes him away even further

If left alone, he most often calls or texts again… (If he doesn’t, then let’s look at how to quickly get past that painful experience and rise above it…a whole other video series…) – and this is the moment where you can make a difference – and feel SO much better!

To get help from brilliant coaches with the right words to say – and Tools to quickly drop into your Feminine Energy so you’ll draw him to hear what you say – try out the Siren Island Program here:

Love, Rori

When He Finally Thaws Out And Comes Back! Video

By Rori Raye | April 18, 2024

“Hi, so he’s thawed out.

He’s returned from his man cave. He moves towards you like nothing ever happened when he pulled away.

But you’re still feeling resentment and a little bit often upset that he pulled away in the first place and went frozen on you.

So what do you do?

Well, this is where the warmth part of everything I always talk about comes in.

Yes, you feel everything.

You feel the real frustration and the anger and the resentment and how dare he and act as if nothing ever happened and how dare he be so cavalier about you and not caring and all those feelings are in you.

And you also have feelings of love for him, otherwise you wouldn’t be there with him, right?

You love him, you feel warm, you want to welcome him, you want to touch him,

you want him to hug you and be all over you, and you want him to contribute to the love feeling of your relationship again.

So that’s what you just simply entertain.

You feel all those things, which fills your energy, that makes you so radiant, all that emotional energy, and you go for the entertaining of the one that feels good to you …which is love!… so you smile, you open your heart.

You let yourself be open to him.

You let him move towards you.

You let there be connection, and you say something like feels so good to be connected with you again.

And it feels so good to be touched.

And ooh, feels good.

Just simple like ooh, feels good.

And then when you feel ready, you can start a conversation, you know?

I feel really weird and uncomfortable when I don’t hear from you.

And I don’t know what to do. Got any ideas?

He’ll just say, “Well, that’s your thing.”

“Well, that’s okay. okay?

So we’re gonna work further on that, but it’s the warmth that you’re choosing to express.

You’re not trying to stifle the other feelings – the anger and everything else.

You’re just choosing to express the love part while you’re feeling it all…and you can always feel able to express the icky stuff too… But right now, let’s just focus on choosing the warmth.

To get help with turning your anger into love, in SO many situations, and WITHOUT stuffing your feelings or “acting nice” when you don’t feel it…watch my From Anger To Love Masterclass and see everything turn around!: 

Love, Rori


Why I Don’t Like The Law Of Attraction

By Rori Raye | April 16, 2024

No, I do not like the Law Of Attraction.


Because for me it is total masculine energy. It has nothing to do with intuition or feelings.

It’s about: if I am this way I will attract that.

So, women walk around trying to strategize what it is we are, how it is we want to be, and what we need to do in order to attract the kind of man that we want,

We ponder what we’re not doing right, what we are doing right – and it becomes very superficial.

We just start thinking from our necks up, we start strategizing and analyzing and working it through and feeling that we’re wrong and that we need to fix something about ourselves.

We’re being different things all the time.

The Law Of Attraction then leads us to an external kind of an idea:… Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »

Turn Disappointment Around With Feminine Magic

By Rori Raye | April 3, 2024

This video is about “Looping” – and the whole thing about our triggers – about the whole dating and building a solid committed relationship process.

The idea is to get excited about you…and…

…to notice yourself complaining about the men who are showing up on your dating profiles, on your dating apps, or even in the relationships you’re in.

This “complaint” part is universal to wherever you’re at in the dating and love timeline, and Naomie Thompson is brilliant at helping you solve it so it no longer gets in the way of getting what you want.

Naomie Thompson is not only an influencer coach, she’s the Director of Rori Raye Coach Training and teaches in The Siren Mastermind.

To get real help to Get Everything You Want From Your Feminine Energy, experience The WANT Masterclass here:




Love, Rori

A Strong Comment:

“Rori, I’m thinking, what other word could do for “useless” here…too strong of a negative connotation it… Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »

How To Be The Cool Girl – Video!

By Rori Raye | April 1, 2024

Hi, you see me leaning back here…..and I was reading something or watching a podcast the other day about what is a cool girl?

So – What is a cool girl?

…And it was a man speaking about it, a relationship coach, and he got it right as far as I’m concerned that it’s a woman without drama, who doesn’t lean on a man whenever he does something wrong…

Who doesn’t keep pointing out faults.

Who doesn’t make a big deal about mistakes. That, that is cool. But what if you’re not like that? And who of us is like that? Well, why are we not like that? And also, why does it seem like the wrong thing to be cool?

Because being cool sounds like it doesn’t, Uh, mean being passionate or being excited or being wanting… Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »

How To Bring In An Avoidant Man, Business Client, Or Situation – Video!

By Rori Raye | March 22, 2024

A Comment:

From: Stephanie Cleveland:

“Rori, The thing that really helps me stay in feminine energy is not initiating contact. Rori, is it okay for me as a woman to say I don’t want a partner with a vagina?

These days dating feels very difficult for straight women who have a more old fashioned view of what… Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »

How To Know If You're His Woman - Or His Delivery Girl...

by Rori Raye  March 1, 2017

When was the last time you felt completely at ease with a man?

Where you felt totally secure in the knowledge that he loves you, totally sure he appreciates you, and feeling that cozy warmth inside because all your needs for love and romance are being met by him?

Or does that seem like a dream? A fantasy?

Here's a way to help that dream turn real - a way of looking at everything that shows up, no matter how your first reaction is to it:

The "It's Not About Me" Tool"

Julia wrote me:

"Dear Rori - when my boyfriend asks me to do stuff for him, I just feel so resentful. I (read more here...)