If you’re anything like me, you’ve always had a “lid” on what you want.
Every time you reach further for something “more”: love, money, fun… – voices in your head that were placed there by someone else over the years of your life pop up with exceptions, rules, caveats, bargains, troubling feelings, doubt, anger, and outright disbelief…
I know what this feels like, and in all my years of becoming and being Rori Raye, while experiencing my ever growing, great marriage – I’ve felt, just like you, the jarring sensation of “moving up the ladder.”
…How weird and uncomfortable it can feel to be accepting the reality of having genuine love instead of always chasing love.
…How an overwhelming feeling of “inappropriateness” can automatically show up when something BIG in your life goes right, or something that you never figured on getting shows up.
…How an instinctive wet blanket, a grey feeling of “I told you so…” or “sure, didn’t you expect that…?” can flood you when something even tiny goes sideways….
…The automatic, constant scurrying around in your head that happens when you want to accomplish and have and do things – things that the world of masculine energy and the voices you’ve been taught since birth tell you are “not naturally yours.” (They ARE!!!)
…The frustration of instinctively “trying” – when you know you’re “supposed” to be just “receiving.”
…The need to go into action when something is already on its way to you, because you, as a woman, have had the same “you’re not enough” song drilled into you, forever, that ALL of us women have experienced.
We’ve all been twisted into pretzels for so long, most of us can’t even imagine what it’s like to feel free and easy.
Most of us have been told that going BIG in any direction automatically closes off all the OTHER great things we want!
That you can’t “have it all,” or even “some of it” – and that everything in life is a “trade-off.”
That you have to bargain love for self-expression.
That the old romantic ideas of “true love” cannot co-exist with “true partnership.”
And – you can slip-slide into a completely different place now!
A place where you can smile and laugh at all this old stuff running through the world and our heads.
Where you can wink at everything that’s holding you – and all of us – back, that’s keeping you from experiencing the deep, thrilling love you deserve and the exhilaration of power you already hold.
The Solution is a new program I’m so proud of, something I never imagined would come together, and I truly hope you write to me after you’ve watched it and read it.
Right now, at The Solution’s premiere, you can not only get the entire Solution program , you can get 6 days of incredible coaching, prizes, all kinds of bonuses from my Solution partner, Dr. Jeanine Staples.
Though there are more details on the page when you follow this Solution link-> here’s just some of what you’ll get when you purchase The Solution for only $33 right now:
*4+ hours of video, where Jeanine and I talk, walk you through problems and Solutions, drill everything down to 6 basic “problems” and then solve them with 6 Solutions – all with specifics, Tools, and a discussion between Dr. Jeanine Staples and I that has a depth and breadth you’ve likely never heard before. PLUS, a full-length, written “Solutions Manual,” PLUS Jeanine’s 6 day Change Your Life Challenge, beginning October 19th, with bonuses, prizes, all kinds of extras.
If you don’t know Jeanine, she has so many credentials and awesome things about her (you can just watch her TED talk and see how amazing she is) – and here are some startling things:
Jeanine graduated my RRCT coach training in the pilot program of 2013, while she was already a tenured, highly reknowned and regarded professor at a top-level University. She flew across the country to be with me (and so many now guru superstars you know by name) at my first RRCT live training.
Jeanine and I have been long-distance friends ever since, and just two months ago, we put together The Solution.
We’d been talking about how – even with our quite different “messages” and focuses for women – we could also fill in the gaps for each other and come up with something comprehensive, totally different, and mind-blowing – which we did.
We put a tiny price tag on it of $33, and Jeanine is including it with her great 6-day live, online Change Your Life event – so, just go get it, and get everything Jeanine is offering, along with The Solution->
Jeanine is more than the real deal – she’s a superstar “guru,” a genuine activist, a highly-regarded professor, a TED speaker, the founder of The Supreme Love Project, and the way we put this project together is pretty amazing!
We sat across the Zoom screens and talked into the cameras. Jeanine calls it a “Coveted Conversation” – yet, for me, it was the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had to say everything I want to say, to come up with my take on everything, my answers and solutions for everything – and then, having Jeanine do the exact same thing.
As Jeanine and I went back-and forth, going deeper and deeper, expanding wider and wider into the Solutions…I felt like I was in another dimension just sitting across from this brilliant woman.
Jeanine is so self-possessed, so bathed in self-love, and so incredibly smart, aware, conpassionate and able to actually change the world from where she sits as a professor, and gets heard on stages all over the world and online – and mostly because of who she is. Magnetic, powerful, gorgeous, an amazing speaker with amazing ideas….yes, I’m gushing because I can.
What you can have in your life is WAY bigger and better, actually dream-like: stupendously fun, powerful, profitable and romantic, and that is the purpose of The Solution.
I’ve never been so proud of anything. The Solution – plus everything Dr. Jeanine Staples offers – is over the top.
At only $33, it feels like a “legacy” program for me.
The Solution is an activist primer and tutorial for your own life.
And, it’s a tutorial on how, by solving the problems and upleveling the quality of your own life, you will automatically be helping create peace throughout the whole world!
I know it sounds like a lot, but, truly, by focusing on uplifting your own life – from the inside out and the outside in – no matter where you’re starting from, you also change the world. I know you’ll be blown away by the Solution.
I’ll be here for you during the Change Your Life Challenge, happy to read anything you want to write to me, and I will always here for you. You are what I care about.
If The Solution – and the 6 days with Jeanine, plus all the bonuses, prizes and The Solution written manual -inspire you to begin the process of breaking free of whatever’s holding you back from what you want, please let me know how Jeanine and I can be of further help to you.
Love is everything.
You are made of love, you radiate love, you inspire love, and you can have a brilliant, gorgeous life and save the world, too, with just the love that’s already inside of you.
The Solution will help you see that, feel that, believe in yourself, believe in love, and learn how to use the feminine power you already possess and embody to literally change your life.
“Rori, I tend to always act really sexual when I really like someone. This makes the men see me as someone nice to play with, not as girlfriend material.
Again this happened with my current crush. He’s the man of my dreams. How can I reverse this and make him see me as girlfriend material?
Here’s An Answer From Coach Natalina Love:
Hi! This is Natalina Love, I’m a Rori Raye Coach. I’ve read your letter… So glad you found Rori! You are in such good company, and ..first question – how do you feel about your sexuality?
It’s a pretty common idea that the IF we are sexual or not will affect IF we can attract a suitable partner…and all the advice is really confusing because everyone has a different opinion of the matter.
There’s lots of pressure to choose “right”, I grew up with Purity Culture… and it still messes with my mind and emotions, and I know I’m not alone in that, but what if there is no wrong here?
Sex can be healing, and there are plenty of women who’ve stories to prove that having ‘sex too soon will NOT ruin your chance at relationship’.
There Are TONS of Happy women in relationships who had sex on a first date… So then, why not you?
The big thing here is that YOU feel good with you.
What the problem is, (or the opportunity!) is how we connect with men And ourselves, do we let him see us, or JUST the sexual part of us?
Where are we not available for the relationship we want?
This is something I’ve learned over time working with Rori’s materials and amazing Modern Siren Tools:
Everyone wants intimacy, and Intimacy is more than just sex… intimacy is wildly thrilling and frightening all at the same time, this is what Siren School Coaches can help you with in The Siren Circle Private coaching Program.
Usually there is so much that we are trying to cover up out of trying to control the fear we feel, and trying to control results too, it’s our ‘go to” to pretend – to perform, to act, and this is true for both MEN AND WOMEN.
In Regards to Bringing your crush back, Your Best Bet is to come back to who you are, for you to embrace you.
(I know this might feel like flimsy, overused advice, and yet it’s still the core of every success story)
In The Siren Circle, the first week will be coaching and exploration around the harmony of your Masculine and Feminine Energy.
**this will shed A LOT of light and clarity on how you’ve pushed away great men, including this man that you want back in your life, and hot to turn it around so you get to have the relationship you want.
The Siren Circle Program offers a format of 3 full hour sessions privately, plus 4 weeks of voice messaging support for only $297.
I’ll be there for you to organize and schedule your sessions for you with the most optimum Siren School coaches for you.
Just go here to sign up:
… but I know Natalie, and she does an amazing job as an interviewer…she literally let me go on and on and on – and what I talk about are things you may have never even heard me say!
I also know most of the 40 great women on the summit, and follow and read many of them, so I know you’ll get a lot out of this (especially for free!)
Just follow the link and sign up – you’ll get emails every day of the Summit so you can get a link to each new interview…I’m scheduled for September 30th (with the great Pat Allen! – who’s my heroine, the woman who really started talking about feminine energy in a big way in her hugely bestselling books, and literally got me started talking as Rori Raye – putting Tools, steps, actual ways to shift your love life to the concepts of feminine and masculine energy…).
The idea of this summit is that it’s for women over 40 – yet, it isn’t.
Everything I say and everything everyone else on the Summit says is for ALL women, no matter your age – with a bit of emphasis on the different situations and different focus we may find ourselves in after 40….
Here’s the general letter that gives you the info on what’s on offer at the Summit:
Are you ready to get your mojo back?
Then join the over 40 world-renowned experts – (from Rori: this Summit actually has a lot of huge names!) for the Extraordinary Life After 40 Summit so you can learn simple, powerful, practical tools to balance your hormones, feel confident, radiant, successful and fully alive and to create your life to be better than anything you have imagined!
The sessions are on topics most critical for women over forty (or fifty or sixty), including how to:
*Balance your hormones naturally through dietary and lifestyle changes as well as with bio-identical hormone replacement therapy.
*Bring the spark back into your relationship and reconnect with your partner even if you haven’t felt it in years.
*Consciously uncouple to minimize resentment and maximize forgiveness if your relationship has run its course.
*Gain confidence and know-how to create a style true to your personality.
*Uncover your life purpose so you can build your legacy.
*Use your money personality to maximize abundance so you can have freedom to do whatever you want.
*Love yourself, increase your happiness set-point and manifest all that you want in your life.
And so much more!
It’s truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to receive tools and wisdom from world-renowned experts – NY Times best-selling authors, transformational teachers, visionaries, doctors, coaches and healers – all for free!
See you virtually on September 30th!
From Rori: Debra is a Lead Coach on Siren Island, and the frustration of being in a relationship that makes you feel sad, hurt, angry, disappointed and unloved as often as it makes you feel hopeful and happy – can be never-ending.
Things never get better, yet you can feel elated, often – just because it doesn’t get worse!
If you feel curious about how you’d get coached on the Siren Island Facebook group membership, here’s just a smidgen of how we begin the hugely transformative process that is “The Modern Siren” methodology, in writing only, on Siren Island.
In order to keep things totally private there, I’m only publishing here Debra Darlen’s wisdom – an idea for you of how your situation might be addressed, and how you might learn an entirely new way to be in a relationship, a marriage, a dating situation – from the ground up.
The situation here is that the man is up and down, angry often, things go sideways often, the Islander walks on eggshells, and yet is in love.
He is not a “bad man.”
He’s deeply emotional, passionate about the world and work, and wants to talk about serious things.
This is often the kind of man we are attracted to – passionate about things, the glow of a “activist,” even if he does nothing but talk on social media about his opinions and righteous anger and frustration.
It’s electric and sexy.
The problem here, is – just as with a man who’s bound up in his work, his family situation – so many things – he has absolutely minuscule energy for the relationship he shares with the Siren Islander.
The man who’s so attractive has no energy for the relationship, you, etc?
And, if you’re dating, the man who DOES have serious energy for you, actually considers you and your feelings, wants and needs before his own interests – does he feel boring? Or not attractive?
Here’s where Debra begins:
Okay Love, and thank you for sharing…this ..
You are not the only woman who can relate to this…so…
Let me explain a new way of approaching this for you.
We are going to leave behind ‘old ways’ of trying to ‘change him for his own good’.
That never works, and always creates distance if not complete disconnection.
So, we begin with getting in touch with your emotions as they arise…moment by moment.
We are emotional creatures, and every action taken arises from our ‘emotional state’ at the time.
Most women, when they come to Siren Island, have been repressing their emotions on one of three ways:
1. They analyze the why and think about them as opposed to ‘feel them’. They believe they can ‘reason’ away emotions they do not ‘believe they like’, or that they think are ‘bad’.
2. They blame others, the man, the job, the situation they are in for their emotions. They try to solve for emotions by changing the situation and or the job.
3. They buffer in multiple ways: move from man to man, over-drink, over-work, constantly seeking and never finding.
So the first thing is to notice IF you are doing any of that (even in your mind’s eye…).
Then stop doing it….
This means do not even consider changing him, telling him he needs to change, and how he is in pain because of …anything.
What you can change is ‘yourself’ and your reaction.
You ask in your post for help in knowing how to react… so…
I ask you:- how do you react now?
Let’s focus on that..
How do you react, when you believe he is immature, angry, negative, and neglects you?
How do you react each morning when “this thought and that thinking” – that you’ve now done the step of noticing – is running through your mind, as he’s talking to you about whatever topic he’s talking about?
Let’s begin there…
How do you ‘feel’?
I am here…and if you tag me..I will continue this thread with you …love!
From Rori: Debra’s last line – that Debra will “continue this thread…”- is the core of Siren Island.
Once you become a Siren Island member, even a “trial” member, and post a question (a general one, or about your specific, urgent situation…) – the coaches will find your post, come to you and coach you in the comments of your post. AND – as you continue the conversation with “replies’ – the coaches will continue to work with you.
This continues, as long as you continue to post.
All of the brilliant Siren Island coaches will get to know you, I will get to know you, and you will find yourself moving from one Modern Siren step to another, learning, growing – and beginning to SOLVE your situation, without “thinking your way through it”.
From Rori: Debra is one of Siren School’s most beloved and brilliant coaches – helping women in amazing ways day in and day out on Siren Island.
We’ve recently been talking about classic “Assertiveness Training For Women” – and how to withstand pressure “like a girl” – totally from feminine energy, with so much less stress than trying to “defend” or “explain,” even if you’re feeling terrified.
We exchanged lots of personal stories, and I found this one from Debra, from the time when she was a powerhouse lawyer (before she became a powerhouse coach), to be SO helpful!!!
from Debra Darlen
“I remember shaking in my boots when I had a series of lawyers being aggressive with me over my client, a high ranking female officer. I’d filed a sex discrimination suit … Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »
Let’s say you’re with a man, a friend, a potential client, a boss, a coworker – and in this very moment you feel totally torn and totally conflicted.
Two sides of you are trying to gain control of your mind and your actions.
Something is happening that does not feel good.
It could be this person asking you to do something or go somewhere that you just don’t feel like doing are going.
Or it could be something he does — roll his eyes or dismiss you in words, comment about another woman’s attractiveness right in front of you, comment on another person’s talents, gifts, skills and results… ick…
Part of you wants to smash him (or her) in the face.
Wants to grab him by his jacket or his shirt and shake him and toss him until he behaves. Another part of you is terrified that if you even question for a moment what he’s done or asked for… you will be labeled as needy, complaining, insecure, a drama queen, and he will move away from you and maybe even leave you.
This is what I call walking on eggshells.
And you’d be surprised how many of us are caught in this loop. We either blurt out everything we want changed and stick to our guns and air our opinions and requests for change and then feel terrible and frightened and angrier afterward… or we sit on stuff, telling ourselves that we are poised, we are confident, we are together, we don’t have to get all upset about this “thing,” we have a sense of humor, we can talk about this reasonably.
And sometimes that voice is right! Sometimes what you’re all bent out of shape about is hardly worth even a moment of your brainpower.
Sometimes you’re just looking in the wrong place, hearing the wrong thing, focusing on the wrong part of what’s going on around you.
So what’s the Warrior in you to do? What exactly do you champion? How do you champion yourself here, when you don’t know which “yourself” to listen to?
Let’s start with a definition: A Siren, in the Siren world, is a woman of gravity. We embody gravity. We gravitate to ourselves.
- We allow the parts of us in touch with the power of Chaos, the parts allowing the utter organicness of universal feminine energy to move through us, to – without “trying” – draw in the universe of matter, people, things.
To get the basics of the Rori Raye “Business Siren Protocols” and a whole NEW way of looking at, being with, and acting in the world, your work, your love life and yourself, here’s The Business Siren’s Handbook to help you turn everything around:
Along with this gravitational pull we all have, each of us individually and automatically – as women, as the Origin, as Chaos bringing inspiration to life, comes a way to DEAL with all of this energy coming at us – and to square that with all the other parts of ourselves living our regular, day-to-day lives!
We can call this “sense” anything we want – so, today, if you like the name, the idea, the concept of “Warrior Woman,” here’s an idea of how to use it for yourself:
Let’s say your inner “Warrior” is simply gazing at all the open “doors” inside you. She’s not “patrolling” – she’s simply there to add her heft to keeping the doors OPEN – no matter what – and helping you believe that you’re just fine without closing a door to something you don’t like.
- In other words – she’s not the “gatekeeper” in the sense of being in charge of who and what gets “let in” – she’s there to assure you that whatever comes in is good, is right, is usable, is information…and that whatever isn’t good and right for you in that moment will simply not come to the door.
- That her very presence at the doors speaks for you in the universe – so that you can go about being as creative, magical, open, big and in love with yourself and life as you can imagine.
Your Warrior doesn’t have to fight.
She’s there to remind you that the doors are open. She’s there to help you feel brave. To make choices.
To stay in the present moment, to stay in your heart and creative juices instead of in your head asking questions from the parts of you who’re afraid.
Your inner Warrior just allows that archetype of spears and weapons and physical power to lend energy when needed.
Online Dating was NEVER “easy.”
Constantly meeting new men online meant constantly dealing with the emotions we LEAST want to experience.
And now, with COVID coloring everything we do, there are new ways to do things, new things to consider….
And, yet, online is still the very BEST way to do ANY kind of “dating” – especially my “Circular Dating” – and the absolute BEST way to find the great man for you, while helping your Modern Siren skills grow quickly, creating incredible confidence and real happiness!
I want you to take a look at coach Jeanie Wilder’s terrific and affordable program “Tear It Up On Tinder” – YES, TINDER!!! (Jeanie is a brilliant Siren School coach, and fast becoming a superstar coach in her own right – the internet is lighting up with her program, while SO many women’s thoughts about Tinder are doing a 180 after working with Jeanie.)
Jeanie’s created her own new life using this method, and now she’s sharing it with the rest of us. Here’s … Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »
Has your man pulled away …or left altogether?
Are you experiencing heartbreak?
I know how painful that can feel and how devastated you are.
When faced with a painful situation with a man, which way do you tend to go:
Do you go towards the onion or the pearl?
*The onion has layers and layers that can be peeled back, revealing more and more stinky layers underneath….
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to keep going down into all … Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »
Feeling and sensing whether you crave “control” because you WANT something – OR, because you’re afraid of something…can make all the difference in your life…
Because Control not only kills love...it stops cold the magnetic pull of everything you want in life toward you…and ends up pushing everything you want away.
In this new world – a world where we women still have only one model for success: the masculine model – it’s hard to even imagine how you might run a company, keep children alive, well and happy, and feel good most of the time without keeping everything in order.
Without controlling everything.
Yet, controlling everything just makes us feel squished, tight, and unhappy.
And, it doesn’t help to actually get anything done!
Here are the videos!:
(If you’d like to know when new videos get uploaded to my Siren TV youtube channel (I’m putting up a new one every week or so!) just hit the “Subscribe” button on any of the videos as you’re … Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »