Your Purpose On The Planet – POP – With Phyllis Chase

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marriagePhyllis Chase, my wonderful Monthly Interview Expert this last month and my long-time friend is doing a teleclass series, so I wanted to pass on the information to you:

Dear Rori Fans,

Thank you for all the wonderful things you had to say about the interview I did with Rori! She is so great, love talking with her.

Now, you can have the chance to talk with me. I am very excited to do this tele-class for you.

Love On Purpose!
The 7 week course powerfully connecting women to their life purpose and the extraordinary joy of intentional loving.

I usually charge $700 for this course but have offered to do this class for Rori’s peeps for half! $350, that’s just $50 a night for a 60-90 minute class. It depends on how much sharing we do and how many questions.

The class will begin on Wednesday, October 19th and will continue every Wednesday for 7 weeks, (except the Wednesday before Thanksgiving), the last class being Dec. 7th.

At 5 PM PST 7 PM MST 8 PM EST

Dates: Oct. 19, 26, Nov. 2 (my Birthday), 9, 23, 30 & Dec. 7th.

Everyone will probably miss one class, (Hey, life happens!) so you will be able to listen to the recorded class.

I can’t wait to do this class for you all. I want 10-12 people so we have that much energy to bring to the class, so “bring” a friend!

Every week you will also get the pdf file for this week’s lesson and homework assignments.

You’ll define your Purpose On the Planet, what my clients like to call their POP, because when you get clear on what you are up to all sorts of things pop into place, or pop you to the next level of your goals, personal and professionally. For more info go to www.PhyllisChase.com and see a longer description of the course and testimonials.

Best email: TheProblemshrinker@gmail.com

Call me at 310-402-8888 if you have questions or to have your 20 minute consult. Can’t wait for you to get your POP! You’ll get amazing results that will make you shine.


Phyllis
Phyllis Chase, MA, MFT
www.phyllischase.com
310-402-8888

Love On Purpose!
The 7 week course powerfully connecting women to their life purpose and the extraordinary joy of intentional loving.

Host of Shrink Rap KCSN 88.5 FM,
Named “Best of LA” by Los Angeles Magazine.
Streamed live worldwide at www.kcsn.org
6:30 PM on Tuesdays

From Rori – I love passing on the work of people I love and trust – so if you’re a coach, be sure to let me know and I’ll pass on any information on the work you do – and feel free to leave information about what you’re doing (complete with links) as a comment….  Love, Rori

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508 Comments

  1.  #1Femininewoman on October 13, 2011 at 6:52 am

    Phyllis Chase again. Love you.



  2.  #2English Woman on October 13, 2011 at 7:03 am

    Almost at the top yippeee!!!



  3.  #3sammie sighs on October 13, 2011 at 7:14 am

    EW haha! Well I heard from MR P last night and wow felt miss him, want him then no best to go and grow hard letting go! Then was asked out by a friend but I feel nothing for him think I will be single forever!! And the funny thing is I have changed so much I even had a woman swearing at me because I overtook her?? And I just smiled and said sorry if I offended you and calmly drove on…..this would NEVER have happened in the past and I have no one to share it with MR P will never see how changed I am that makes me sad:-(



  4.  #4Senior Lady Vibe on October 13, 2011 at 8:10 am

    @2: English Woman says:
    “…Almost at the top yippeee!!!…”

    Yay! You and I are both gaining on FW…
    😀

    and…Hello, world. I’m thankful for the little book I found yesterday.

    xoxo



  5.  #5Femininewoman on October 13, 2011 at 8:19 am

    TIP #3 – DON’T BE AFRAID!

    Here’s the last tip — don’t be afraid!

    I hear this problem from many of my more conservative readers and clients — the idea of meeting a man for the first date scares them to death.

    Why? They’re scared that in the end, the guy will just be after the sex!

    But you know what? If you dated just a little more, you’ll find that most men are actually safe.

    Sure, you’ll meet some players with their brains between their legs, but for the most part, men are easy to get along with. They may even be great dates!

    But then again, let’s face it — only a select few single men out there are ready to become boyfriends. (Think only 1 or 2 out of every 10.)

    Now what are your chances of meeting a commitment-ready man when you’re so afraid of men in general? Not very good, unfortunately!

    Besides, confidence comes with success. The more you go out there and accept invitations to date, the more you get used to being with men.

    And the more comfortable you get in a man’s company, the more fun dating becomes for you — and the better your chances of meeting a good
    “boyfriend-material” guy becomes!

    So do yourself, and the men you’ll be dating in the near future, a favor — don’t be afraid!

    The worst thing that could happen is you’ll meet a guy who’s only interested in your body. Not so bad, since you can always just get up, thank him for the
    coffee, and say goodbye!

    A Fox



  6.  #6Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 8:48 am

    HI Sirens

    Thank you FW for that post!! Just what I needed to hear.



  7.  #7Christina on October 13, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Hi everyone! Hi Rori! 🙂

    Just responding to your request for coaches to comment here!

    I’m a life coach, specializing in guiding people to manifest their dreams, and of course, a huge part of that is removing emotional blockages like anxiety and depression.

    I have a lot of tips for manifesting love in your life, and how to ease “relationship anxiety” (which is where most of our relationship difficulties come from!)

    You can download my FREE mini ebook “How to Manifest Your Best Life: 5 Powerful Tools” by signing up for my e-newsletter (also free) at:

    http://www.CoachingWithChristina.com

    email me at Christina@CoachingWithChristina.com for a free private session.

    P.S. I love your blog, Rori–it’s my favorite! And I love the community of women here. Thank you for all that you share!



  8.  #8Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 10:15 am

    So its been an interesting week so far! CD1 said he would love to see me this weekend but that he was working all weekend and therefore wants me to spend the next weekend in DC with him. He told me all the plans he had for the weekend eg touring museums in DC, dinner and movies and he said he was booking a hotel room. My friends are uneasy about that because they’re so protective of me. I feel more than safe with him though. I trust him and feel okay doing that so I said yes.

    CD 2 opened up to me last night n talked so in depth about his feelings. Apart from telling me how much he loves me n misses me everyday, he told me how its feels 2 him physically. He calls it “love sick” it felt awesome hearing that and since I always tell him about my feelings, having him do the same for once was so awesome!! Felt a real emotional connection at that moment. He said I make him so happy and I realize I’m doing this just b being myself. He loves me for me. My best friend who also takes a class with him told me that he tells every1 I am the happiest person he ever met. Lol I think that’s special.

    So ex turned CD is the one I had been having sex with occasionally. We haven’t in a long time though and last night we were talking about that. He said “why don’t you have sex with one of ur other guys”. At first I said nothing, but after a few minutes of talking about something else I said “u kno what? It felt bad bein told 2 have sex with some1 else” he asked why and I said “it felt like rejection” he apologized and said he was just a little jealous about me dating other people. I just said okay. I’m trying to go on without closure so I didn’t ask anything else. Idk if he still wants 2 b a CD or if he wants to continue having sex but it doesn’t really matter.



  9.  #9Lucy on October 13, 2011 at 11:31 am

    Emoticon- i feel curious abt whether the one who says he loves you (cd2) knows you are dating other guys and how he feels about that. just curious. 🙂



  10.  #10Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Lucy,

    He had asked me about it one time and i told him. He expressed a bit of disappointment but he kept calling every night and one night he brought it up again and said he hopes I could be all his one day and I wasnt sure what 2 say. I just said maybe one day and he just said “oh”



  11.  #11Buttery on October 13, 2011 at 11:44 am

    How do I learn what is my Purpose On the Planet?



  12.  #12Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Rainy days 🙂

    Where is every1 2day?



  13.  #13Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Buttery, I’m not sure. I guess you will know after the teleclass if you do decide to take it!



  14.  #14tinque on October 13, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Buttery – There isn’t necessarily one thing for you as your POP. I have gone through many POPs in my life, and even now I carry a few with me at the same time.

    It’s about what YOU LOVE to do, what you love to participate in, what turns you on, what gets your juices flowing.

    Sometimes one of my few POPs are more predominant than the others, and they can switch around.

    I wondered for years what my POP is until I came to the realization that it didn’t have to be one thing only.

    I hope this helps.

    xxoo



  15.  #15Esteemed on October 13, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Buttery,

    RE: #10 – One way is brainstorming! Just write everything that comes to mind that interests you! Allow no limitations: for example, if you think, “Ooh, I would just LOVE to travel around the world and inspire oppressed women to be all that they could be.” But then if your next thot is, “Oh, but I can’t. I could never afford that.” Just ignore the what ifs and impossibilities and write all that your heart holds dear!

    At work, so more later…it’s spelled out in Rori’s Commitment Blueprint, and it’s inspiring! I felt all excited by the time I was done listening to that section!!



  16.  #16Esteemed on October 13, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I feel endlessly grateful to Rori Raye! My life has transformed!



  17.  #17MiRi on October 13, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    I love what Phyllis Chase shares. Thanks to my Commitment Blueprint tool, I can watch her talking about POP over and over again.
    If you have the chance to attend her teleclass series… feel free to attend!



  18.  #18Daria on October 13, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    im feeling a bit unsettled, in a small kinda quiet way about going back to cali in a few days

    i feel all moved and kinda of a sadness thinking about how relaxing and close it felt being here with my uncle

    i feel excited about going back and meeting men and strutting my stuff in public

    i feel terrified and excited thinking about moving out suddenly and maybe far with no insurance or clear ‘how’ on ‘how it’s going to workout’

    just heard my mom on the phone talking about something with my dad and turned out it was about me, the word obession came up (it’s probably about my love of the computer)

    and i felt all scared and im practicing just feeling it,

    i don’t want to get stuck at home an dfeel all overwhelmed and sapped of energy through my dad’s projections and judgements of me

    mmm

    i’m willing to be stuck at home and feel sapped and rained of life

    i’m looking forward to being stuck at home and feeling sapped and drained of life

    lol

    that feels amusing

    i feel frustrated and judgemental of byron katie right now

    umph

    im feeling scared and unsettled

    umpha

    brain!

    i love my brain

    feeling all scared in my chest

    feeling frowny in my mouth

    i love my scariness

    i love my frowniness

    omg im gonna have a crystal on my tooth

    ?YEAHHH

    😀

    feeling all sad again

    and quivery

    watching a funny video now

    lol



  19.  #19Daria on October 13, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Emoticon – wow you go! and I like how he said he feels jealous! that is so cool that he was able to be real about that since you were sincere…

    you so rock!

    he will probably become a CD – if he can – if you lean all the way back with him and don’t hang out with him otherwise

    or maybe he can be a lover

    it sounds like you are doing so super duper well

    i feel smily thinking about my love life now that im going to cali



  20.  #20Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Thank you Daria, when r u going back?



  21.  #21Daria on October 13, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    great my mom is off hte phone and attacking me

    and i just attacked back with my tone

    oops

    now i feel all stone and frowny mouth

    🙁



  22.  #22Daria on October 13, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    im going back on tuesday



  23.  #23Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Oh ok cool



  24.  #24Ella on October 13, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Hey

    So CD1 asked to see me tonight.

    And then phoned and left a message at the last minute to say he had shut his finger in a door and was at A&E.

    I don’t know Sirens… and my instincts are telling me that there is something up here.

    That he is not being truthful.

    I feel confused.

    I may just give him a wide berth for a bit… and stop taking his calls.

    On the other hand what if he is telling the truth? Then I would feel bad!!

    Maybe I will tell him I won’t see him until he is out of his situation…

    Or something

    I was going to say to him tonight that I was feeling suspicious and also feeling bad for feeling suspiscious. I didn’t know what to do, and what did he think.

    And I am not going to get the chance this evening.

    My instincts are telling me he is not being honest.

    However I am not 100% sure.

    Although so far they have been spot on about men…



  25.  #25Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Hey Ella, maybe its ur NVs telling u otherwise but that could very well be possible



  26.  #26Senior Lady Vibe on October 13, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    @10: Buttery says:
    “…How do I learn what is my Purpose On the Planet?…”

    I’ve found making a forty year plan was helpful.

    Note: you don’t have to stick with any one forty-year plan but if you start making one, things come to mind and you can brainstorm.

    Thanks to LG, (where is she these days?!) I’m exploring another POP!!!

    😀

    xoxo



  27.  #27Ella on October 13, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    Emoticon,

    Yeah exactly.

    Confusing.



  28.  #28Ella on October 13, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Just noticed I am feeling really, really lonely!



  29.  #29Ella on October 13, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Hmm, I think I am going to tell him that I don’t want to date him until he is in a different situation.

    This just doesn’t feel good.

    Going to take some time…

    Am noticing that my eating has gone crazy recently. I just want to keep eating and eating.

    I feel SO HUNGRY!



  30.  #30Ella on October 13, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    Maybe I will express AND tell him my don’t wants.

    Just have a feeling I should RUN for the hills from this guy.

    Rori says to stay open… however I feel like I need to put some boundaries here.



  31.  #31Daria on October 13, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    I’m feeling excited! I helped my girl with siren tools, missed some calls from Video CD at the same time, and am just feeling lovely!

    a lil shaky in my tummy from the energy

    and good

    energized

    smily

    and i asked for something i wanted and it will be given to me!

    yes!!



  32.  #32Daria on October 13, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    during 40 years from now i will want to be a wise woman and a healer who lives harmonious with nature with family and friends around feeling good, cooking,
    with a man i feel good around and who loves me and dancing making clothing, art, doing lots of spirit work, connected and friends with spirits, feeling fulfilled, that i have shifted the world and fulfilled my potential and even MORE than what I thought i could in the world, free, and happy

    and healthy

    and singing and joyful

    and loved and admired by my parents and family



  33.  #33Ella on October 13, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Feeling FURIOUS.

    RAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR



  34.  #34Daria on October 13, 2011 at 3:49 pm


  35.  #35Daria on October 13, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Ella – to me it sounds like you’re doing so awesome!

    part of the being open is noticing how i feel, and in my experience yes i feel much more uncomfortable with men living with another woman that they have emotional involvement with…

    that’s why i’m open, to notice these things!!

    and it’s less likely to be a problem to not have a ‘rule’: like i don’t date guys with gfs, because I Naturally start noticing *I* feel uncomfortable dating a man in that situation…

    it’s not cuz of the rule, and

    it’s not about the other woman at all!



  36.  #36Daria on October 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    im weak i let people run over me

    its ok. im going to give you attention part of me

    i embrace you

    im going on with being happy

    and i wont abandon you

    NO

    i LOVE YOU

    i want you to be with me.

    i squeeze you and i will take care of you and protect you

    thank you for the work and attention you given to me

    it sok to stop

    i now

    and its ok to keep going if that feels better to you

    i am with you

    i got you

    i got your back



  37.  #37Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    I’m missing CD 2 but I don’t want to lean forward so I’m here commenting instead



  38.  #38Lilybelly on October 13, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    I am a struggling Siren. I had come so far and now I feel down towards some bottom rungs. I am practicing, really, really hard, to notice how I feel and also notice that when I am feeling nervous or scared, which seems to be the most of it these days because of exh’s health and all the uncertainty, that I feel awful…just effing awful. I am learning that when I let go and just worry about how I feel, that I am able to shift my thought patterns and feel better. *I* can’t control my exh’s health. I can be compassionate and send loving energy but *he* is the only one who can do anything about his health or lack there of. Worry and fear feel terrible in my stomach, and was causing me a serious amount of lost sleep and in turn, causing my own health issues to flare up. So, I am leaning way back with him and choosing to believe that no news is good news.

    Is that selfish? I don’t want to be selfish and I don’t want to seem uncaring and mean.

    I need a Mom to talk to. My own mother isn’t exactly the first choice, although, we are talking more often and it has been going well. Babysteps there.



  39.  #39Daria on October 13, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    are you guys able to view that video? im feeling super excited watching it… this woman is so making sense to me

    im feeling strenghtened



  40.  #40Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    Watching sex n the city 2. Carrie is so sireny



  41.  #41Daria on October 13, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Lilybelly – it is not selfish and there is no selfish

    choosing to believe wonderful things is a wonderful healing technique and sets the stage for wonderful things to happen

    even when I think I’m not able to believe wonderful things, just that I’m intending to believe wonderful things is enough – wow thank you Daria



  42.  #42Iris on October 13, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Sorry for bringing in some negative energy sirens but I feel like I’ve just been shot off my horse! I had a blip earlier in the year where despite learning Rori’s tools for 18 months I crumbled under pressure. Was dating a guy I was soooo into and he wanted me to be exclusive so I did after just a month as he was so wonderful (I know!) 3 months later and he calls it quits saying the distance (he is 2 hours away) was too much blah blah. I was heartbroken.

    Anyway, I got back on my horse and was doing really well then bam. Find out that just a couple of weeks after ending it with me he’s been dating one of my close friends. Who lives in my town. This has been going on for 2 months and she didn’t tell me. When one of the other girls found out she told me. Ive been on nights out with her whilst she has been dating my ex and never said a word. Wtf?! We are all in our late thirties by the way. Thought that behaviour ended in high school.

    Now I hear he’s been doing all this stuff for her I always wanted from him. I feel icky and worthless and a failure. I can’t stop thinking of revengeful thoughts which is so not sireny or good from a LOA angle. I feel bitter and resentful and childlike. Why has she got what I wanted. She doesn’t do any sireny like things. She leans forward and has been known to accept crumbs etc. Sigh. Back to my teachings.
    Thanks for letting me vent. Where did that damn horse go….



  43.  #43tinque on October 13, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Lilybelly – Oh no you are not being selfish at all. You can’t control others behavior or how their life plays out. You can only take care of you and listen if your ear is asked for.

    Here is where trust comes in. Not necessarily that he will do what you want him to, i.e. take care of himself, but trust that his life will unfold as it is meant to.

    AND you have not fallen to bottom rungs. You may feel bad, and you think you are reverting to old worry patterns, BUT your awareness around it all has completely changed.

    Yes you may sometimes stumble and fall, skin your knees even, but you can then pick yourself up, feel sorry for yourself if you wish, clean up the booboos, and carry on.

    You have support. And please feel free to contact me if you need a shoulder.

    xxoo



  44.  #44tinque on October 13, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Iris – Chances are if she carries on like this, the relationship won’t last, and if it does, ask yourself if this is really the kind of man you want for your ever after?

    xxoo



  45.  #45Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Awww, Tinque,

    As always I love your “voice” here. So kind, gentle and soft. Just had to say it.

    Btw, your comment to Iris (#43) is exactly what I was thinking.

    Iris – if he likes a leaning forward woman, my question (if it were me in your situation) to myself would be, “do I want to be involved with a man who likes that more masculine energy, or would I feel better being with someone who likes me in my feminine energy?” It must be difficult and I feel heartachy for you, but for me, I like a man who encourages my femininity.



  46.  #46Ariadne on October 13, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Daria! Thank you for that video! Rachel makes a lot of sense to me too. Loves it! xo A



  47.  #47AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    and to add to that IRIS, are u still friends with this girl? I am confused? She is with your ex and has never told you? Do u or did you still have feelings for him? Was he still on your horse? This situation triggers me…hmmm…wonder why.



  48.  #48AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Daria I took my test today it did not go well. I am pretty sure I may be looking for a new career. I cant have hopr right now with this test. I cant pass this thing to save my life. I am studying my butt off here and for what, What am I missing. I am 30k in the hole with school loans and cant even be a nurse because of one test. I suck at taking tests…maybe I will get hypnotized….i dunno…Sorry I am venting ..



  49.  #49AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Taking bit#$ch%es out one at a time…..I am feeling really defensive!! What is going on…I need ……i need…i cant even say….sorry sirens too negative to post tonight hate bringing the vibe down on siren island!



  50.  #50Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    AmazingMe,

    Post away. Not everything is sunshine and roses on Siren Island. Part of the beauty of it is that it’s a good place to practice feeling messages, riffing, (having tea with our fears lol) and all manner of other negativity which helps to bring our vibe back up. Sorry to hear about your test. I hope your thoughts are wrong and you aced it.

    xoxo



  51.  #51Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    Siren island is where everybody is themselves! Whether we r feeling good or bad…



  52.  #52Mel on October 13, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Love you Lilybelly!

    You are anything BUT selfish! Thinking of you often my dear!



  53.  #53LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    39:

    Emoticon, watched it Sunday night, looovved that movie. So you wanta go to Abu Dabi w me?



  54.  #54LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    Awww, sending you big hugs ((((Amazing Me))))!



  55.  #55Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    LILI 41 Absolutely honey! Let’s do this!!



  56.  #56LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    I had a couple of great moments w D these last 2 weeks…He’s gone since Monday…and I don’t miss him…? What’s up w that?

    I wouldn’t have had time for him this week anyway. I’ve been working long hectic hours and been coming home late, exhausted.

    I just find it odd that I’m thinking of him in a detached way. Nice memory & feeling of our good moments…but no longing or yearning…Is that what it feels like to NOT be hung up? Felt like I was in love w him while I was in his presence, but feel fine w/o him. Is this what confidence feels like? or is it that I am no longer in love w him?
    I don’t even feel like it matters to even have an answer to these questions.

    It just feels so good to be all about me. Like everything is fine.

    But 1 person I do miss a great deal is my newlywed angel goddess. 🙁 She’s happy w a good wholesome man, so I am sooo happy for her.

    My turn now. But I started to enjoy myself too much being alone, almost don’t want a man to crowd me. Hmm? It’s like old me is confused trying to get in the head to figure it out, but new me in the feelings of the heart doesn’t really care to go there.

    I love this being OK & fine feeling 🙂



  57.  #57LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    So detached, like I am completely OK w/o him and completely OK w him. He told me when he was coming back, and I don’t even remember.
    He went w his motorcycle, but coming back on the plane. His friend is bringing his bike back in his trailer w his truck.

    I think the plane lands during the night Saturday, or is it Sunday? I really can’t remember. That’s how detached I am. I’m looking forward to being by myself this weekend and doing my own stuff.
    I’m curious to see how I will feel when I hear his voice once he calls…However, I’m not dying to get his call…I’m like whatever.

    I can get used to this feeling. I’m starting to really like it.



  58.  #58Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    Lili,

    Congrats! I hope it sticks for you!

    Feeling that way comes and goes for me. The first time I started feeling panicky again and wondering what he was doing I felt freaked out. But it passes. And then comes back. Ebbs and flows, but I don’t feel freaked about it anymore because I know it’s a passing thing. Feels great, doesn’t it?! I feel so happy for you!!



  59.  #59LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    I’m off to dream of Abu Dabi. So when do we book the flight Emoticon?

    goodnight ladies. xox to all of you!



  60.  #60Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    YAY okay LILI how about december since I have school right now?? 🙂



  61.  #61LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Thanks SweetPea.

    I’ll see what I feel like when he gets back. But I’m feeling absolutely nothing right now except good, cause all the focus has been on me and my job. I’m really enjoying my job right now, even w the pressure and the long exhausting hours. 😀



  62.  #62LILI 41 on October 13, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    59:

    I have 6 days off in December! Woohoo! Here we come dark sexy butlers!



  63.  #63Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    That’s awesome you’re enjoying your job Lili! Good night Siren. Sweet dreams! (Of Abu Dabi apparently).



  64.  #64AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    Thanks for the support sirens…i love u too 😉



  65.  #65Susan on October 13, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    RE: 23: Ella

    A visual inspection of his hand will quickly indicate if he has been telling the truth…



  66.  #66Daria on October 13, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Amazing Me – hey, actually getting hypnotized can help… a LOT

    ive gotten hypnotized before and it felt great.

    i was going to suggest that you take it easy and take it when you FEEL READY and even postpone it to the later date – but you had already signed up

    I would not be taking a test before I felt fully ready – and was scoring what I wanted on the practice tests (or on however i was evaluating myself)



  67.  #67Daria on October 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    I just did some major EFT work and feel all energized

    I want to feel good waking up tomorrow for my crystal tooth job!

    and i don’t really feel sleepy…. well now im starting to



  68.  #68AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    @65 yes Daria I know but the problem is I need to make money to live… this is my career. I mean sure I could work as a tech for 8 or 9 bucks an hour but I wouldnt get the health benefits. My car is in the crapper and my children and family are so hopeful so I am letting not just me down but my family and kids. I dunno right now for one of the few times in my life I am at loss for words. I want to run but have nowhere to hide and cant curl up and give up. I have no choice but to fight this one!…Gosh so disappointed right now, On top of that it brings me to oh hi nice to meet you yes I am looking for a soulmate finished nursing school but no job, wanna go out…like put that into a healthy mindset or even positive I cannot right now. You know how we say here sometimes…when we riff like that we love these feelings…well I don’t love these feelings right now so what does that mean for me. I dont want people feeling bad for me, 4 TIMES….4 TIMES with a GPA in nursing school of a 3.4! I dunno sirens i am feeling ugly.



  69.  #69AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    See the pic right here in my avatar I want to be in that moment one more time right there in that very spot with the camera snapping beautiful natural photos of a happily married woman. Ok so I know it was not my wedding but I felt so different then. I felt younger, though not as wise, prettier not as chunky as i am now, I didnt stop to have a care in the world. AHhh but there is a downside to that phase I hurt people with my selfish attitude and let men walk all over me that was pre rori and u sirens…feeling vulnerable and naked I have just poured some of my bitter truth to the siren world..yikes



  70.  #70Mel on October 13, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Amazing Me…

    Is it possible that you could get special accommodation next time for test anxiety? I don’t know about the US, but in Canada, that’s done all the time in universities, professional certifications, etc. Just a thought…. I’m a teacher so I totally get how sometimes writing an exam is NOT a true indication of one’s skill or knowledge. I have no doubt that you’d make a great nurse!

    When’s the next exam? Is there a prep course that you could take? Not a self-study one, but one where you actually go to class an evening a week or a couple weekends before the exam?

    Hugs!!



  71.  #71Mel on October 13, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Like for example, in the organization I work for, we sometimes give candidates extra time or allow them to write in a private room if they suffer from test anxiety. It only requires a dr’s note.



  72.  #72AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Thanks Mel Yes I can get accomodations but it is not the environment it is me..lol. Yes I took and spent a lot of money on prep classes and study courses and extra books. Just crazy to me how this works it is a computer adaptive test i guess is what they call it. You study your core content which I did and know but then I go in and get asked these crazy wicked hard questions that I have never even touched on, just frustrating the nursing exam is not black and white that is for sure.



  73.  #73Starla on October 13, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    F*CKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    my friend killed herself.

    my best friend’s wedding is saturday, rehearsal tomorrow, am working a side job right now too….I don’t know what to do. I’m probably going to stuff it down as deep as it can go.



  74.  #74Mel on October 13, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    Oh Starla…. sending you love.



  75.  #75Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    Starla I’m so sorry



  76.  #76Starla on October 13, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    CD1’s friend came to visit me from out of town for the evening, but he came to drive me home from dance class anyway (with his friend) and took me to the grocery store and bought me some food. Then he left his friend in the car to walk me up to my apt and kiss me, and he just left. Then I got the news.

    I would reach out to CD1, but he has only tonight with his buddy, and telling him won’t change anything. I can get his love and support tomorrow night.

    This sucks. She came down with really bad paranoia all of a sudden and killed herself. I’ve known her for over 7 years. She was a good person and a sweet girl with a sharp wit.



  77.  #77AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    @75 Starla I am so sorry…i send my blessings.



  78.  #78Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Starla,

    Anything I can do? I sent my phone # in my last email to you. Call if you want. So sorry, girl!



  79.  #79AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Such awful things can break a person, Paranoia is a very serious illness. My heart goes out to you and her loved ones….XOXO



  80.  #80Emerson on October 13, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Starla- 🙁 I am soo sorry. How devastating!!! And so shocking to lose a friend. I feel sad. Hugs and prayers to you….
    -Emerson



  81.  #81Emerson on October 13, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Amazing Me, are you sure you didn’t pass?? I’ve taken tests before and thought surely I failed, only to find out that I did pass!!!
    When do you know the final results?



  82.  #82Emerson on October 13, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    @ amazing me 67 hugs hugs hugs!!
    “….. it brings me to oh hi nice to meet you yes I am looking for a soulmate finished nursing school but no job, wanna go out”

    Aww girl this sounds like you are talking to yourself harshly.. please be nice to Amazing me 🙁

    Hmm perhaps you could shift this….
    Honestly most MASCULINE MALE energy men I think do not care whether you work as a hotel maid or as a surgeon!

    I mean, i’m sure they admire our talents, but they are not looking to us as a provider or think of us as a loser if we don’t have a job. They don’t really care about that stuff! They are more interested in our mushy sireny stuff!

    I can hear that you are a smart and independent woman and it is difficult not to have a job, especially with kids!

    Keep your eye on your goals and I know you will achieve what you set out to do. Frustrating yes…but not impossible for AMAZING ME…just look at your name girl!!!

    Hugs to you, and I have a good feeling that everything is going to work out for you.

    Just one siren’s opinion….love and hugs, Emerson



  83.  #83AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    Thank you Emerson!! That feels really great to reaD.!!! AWW HUGS>>> 🙂



  84.  #84AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    Oh and about my Exam…Not 100% so just trying to tune into my feelings about all of it! You sirens are such a support who needs therapy when we can help one another. So funny we can help someone else with a problem we may face also, just speaking in general I mean i was the queen at advice and relationships well obvious u see where that got me..haha. I have a very independent personality and masculine way about me that was passed from my mom and grandpa(mom’s dad) I believe. I miss him so much he passed but he is not suffering anymore he had cancer real bad. He was never very affectionate but loved in his own way he was very tough love kind of guy. Stand up for yourself, don’t be a baby, dont take less than you deserve, and dont get with any scum bags because men are scum…haha..RIP grandpa..miss u.



  85.  #85Starla on October 13, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Thank you everyone. I will be okay.

    Gonna stuff it down and trudge through it with a smile on my face. Just this once. I can freak out on Sunday. And go to her service.



  86.  #86AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    I went to the store tonight well the gas station store to get some diet coke and comfort food yeah i know didnt need it ..negative voices..lol. Anyway the guy at the counter was good looking and the place was kinda busy. I had no make up on have puffy eyes from tired tears and I couldnt look anyone in the eye! I consciously tried to look him in the eye to get my change and I got to the cheek..lol…I just felt so unattractive. I was just anxious to get in there and get out and go home.



  87.  #87Emerson on October 13, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    (((STARLA)))



  88.  #88Emerson on October 13, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Someone wrote on the other thread about being teflon. I need to be more like that…I get too sticky with feelings and let them affect me…



  89.  #89Emerson on October 13, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    I mean sticky with other people’s feelings…if they are feeling bad i start to feel bad too …etc



  90.  #90Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    AmazingMe,

    I second what Emerson (hey Emerson!) said! I’m a Paralegal with 6, 7 years’ experience who can’t find a Paralegal job in this farghing big city (for the past 2 years). I sold windows door-to-door for the first 7 months of this year. Now I’m starting my own biz, which all seems pretty glamorous until one sees what I drive. But the guys I date don’t give two flying figs about any of that! And…probably most importantly, I agree with Emerson that I have a good feeling that you DID pass. Give your NVs cookies and tell ’em to go sit in the farghing corner! My bet is we’ll all be clinking glasses with ya as soon as you get your results.



  91.  #91AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    @88 I am like that too. my heart really goes out to people which I am sure Emerson u know as I do this gets us in trouble with our own feelings. They tell u in nursing school be empathetic, not sympathetic or it will burden your mind and your life outside of work. Its hard for me



  92.  #92Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    Starla, I have no doubt you’ll be ok. Calling me is not an empty offer, though. I’m here if you feel the need to vent (and I don’t take things personally – you can even yell if you want). Really sorry to hear it – my heart feels heavy for you.



  93.  #93Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    I have a question/problem. Are we supposed to be falling in love with out CDs? ‘Cause I’m definitely in love with one of them and could easily fall for another one. I don’t know whether to fight it or just feel it. And frankly it’s scaring the hell out of me (maybe that’s a good thing).

    I’ve done some work lately around just accepting that I have a big heart and I care easily (I used to say too easily, but it is what it is, I can’t change it and so choose to accept it). I am finding humor in the fact that I never thought I’d be asking if it’s ok to be in love with more than one man. Lol.



  94.  #94AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    I wish there was a siren island we could actually go to and have a little retreat. That would be amazing but times are tough and money is tight but it is a nice thought.



  95.  #95Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    AmazingMe – Oh yes! A real Siren Island would feel amazing!



  96.  #96AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    We could go deep and try to get Rori in on it, like a singles cruise!!! Yes, a singles cruise where even the married or involved can go. We would get assignments from Rori, practice our tools and steps and inpire one another. Practice on real single men to see what we really want and dont want!! Just daydreaming! hummmm…hummm that is a good idea though Rori could name it ” Singles Cruise to Siren Island.” This could be the ad…Are you tired of beating yourself up about what your doing wrong in a relationship? Want to meet good quality men and women looking for a healthy relationship? Sign up today and see what being a siren is all about!…..haha love it



  97.  #97Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    I’m feeling bad on Siren Island tonight though. I know this is something I need healing around, so I’m not taking it personally – just my little trigger. Everytime I show up and post though, everyone disappears.

    Wherefore art thou Sirens?

    If it was a real Siren Island I could try showering, at least. Ah well. Guess I’ll do some journaling. Need to get to bed early tonight anyway. Good night all.



  98.  #98AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    SweetPea how does it make you feeling loving two men? Do you like it? What is your feelings and how do you find the balance?!



  99.  #99AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    SweetPea what am I chop liver..haha.



  100.  #100Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    Sweet pea. I’m right here!!



  101.  #101Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Oh hey AmazingMe! Chopped liver? No. Too good for that! Maybe pate! Lol! Just kidding.

    Nah. It’s been going on for days. I like the cruise idea!



  102.  #102Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Hey Emoticon! Lol! Thanks ladies. I really wasn’t taking it personally, just wondering what needs healing around this feeling isolated, abandoned, a non-identity. It feels good to be acknowledged though. Thanks!



  103.  #103AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    See sweetpea you are loved people listen!! Usually if I want a response I will name out a siren you notice you tend to get different things and expertise from different sirens so just say what do you think amazing? Or Emoticon ? Daria? Tinque…everyone here has a gift!



  104.  #104Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    We can talk about it sweetpea because I’m feeling so lonely tonight n I’m thinking what am I not doing 4 myself here??



  105.  #105Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    @97 – Loving one man scares the wits out of me. Two of them? Well, TTG I dated exclusively for awhile last year. I love him, but he really is just practice – I know it’s not going anywhere. He’s really GOOD practice, because I even tell him I love him – I tell him it doesn’t mean anything in the same breath, but I guess I’m still facing that scary love demon.

    With the other guy, quite frankly it scares me to tears. I xant decide whether to fight it or just fall gently into it and hope I make it out with my heart in tact. And what makes me so sure I’ll have to make it out of it?! Owww. Hmmm. That hurts realizing I have an underlyimg belief that it won’t last. Fearof rejection (along with where did all the sirens go?). Fear of abandonment (sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get past that one).

    Oh my gosh! It feels terrifying. Like going gently into that long goodnight (falling gently into it?). Wow! My heart’s thudding in my chest like a scared bunny’s.



  106.  #106AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    I just write random stuff a lot it helps just getting it out in my own way. Lol it’s like poopin in a public bathroom you dont want anyone to know you actually do it and you let it all out. Then casually go about your business and people say dang who stunk up the bathroom, you say everyone does it they just dont like to admit it 🙂 The next time they are out and about and they feel the rumble and gotta go, they probably would be less likely to hold it. They would just let it out and feel relieved.



  107.  #107AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    I know my mind is silly it always makes me laugh…the word poop…I am 31..I am a nerd.



  108.  #108Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    Emoticon,

    I haven’t seen anything posted from you in quite awhile (this evening, but not for a couple of hours I don’t think). What’s around those lonely feelings? 🙁



  109.  #109Starla on October 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    Thank you, Sweetpea:)

    And I feel the same way…like people avoid when I’m posting. That’s silly though. Or maybe not. Oh well.

    I’m a magic siren:)



  110.  #110AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    SweetPea I understand your fears it can be scary to love but which man has your heart>? Do you want just the one? I used to have back ups, I dont feel it was too healthy but I would really like this one and still talk to a few others helped the abandoment issue. I was never in a place to get hurt or fall too hard.



  111.  #111Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    AmazingMe,

    Lol! I’m sure having kids contributes to your use of the word “poop.” Besides, it really is the best option, is it not?



  112.  #112Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    I can totally understand feeling like a relationship won’t last 🙁 everything everywhere screams nothing lasts forever. I noticed myself feeling better focusing on the present tho rather than the future (which was kinda hard 2 do). Now I don’t find myself being too invested in trying to predict every single thing. I enjoy what’s happening presently. And that’s how I jus end up enjoying something for two weeks and two months and who knows it may end up leading to two years? Two decades? Two kids maybe 🙂



  113.  #113AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Emoticon I am sorry you are lonely! What are your feelings? Talk about it!! If you want of course!!!



  114.  #114Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    I think I miss the physical connection with Ex turned CD. Ever since he found out I was CDing we have jus been having less n less sex n last night he said something that I felt bad about that I should go have sex with one of my other guys. When I told him it felt bad he apologized and admitted he was jealous but I suppose I would have just liked some company tonight.



  115.  #115AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    @110 yes it is and @111 You are right on it! That is the way! Easier said than done though i know.



  116.  #116Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    AmazingMe,

    I also meant to tell you, I don’t really love my fears all that much, either when they first present. But telling them I love them moves them around in my body and makes them smaller and less scary.

    Who the hell has a fear of love?! Scary love demon?! Lol! Sometimes I crack myself up!

    I love my fear of rejection. And that feels like tightness in my chest.

    I love the tightness in my chest – ahhh! I really like inviting my fears for tea better. Come on in fear of abandonment. Have a seat. Would you like a cookie with your tea? So you can go to the corner and eat it? Heehee! Not really.

    I know you’re here to protect me, but you’re not helping me at this point. Your keeping love out of my life and love is the greatest gift of all. Even if it doesn’t stick this time, I’d rather not be afraid of it and just learn to let it ebb and flow in and out of my life. If I don’t hang on to it tightly, it won’t burn me anyway, it can fall away like sand through my fingers. And it can come back and wash over me like a cool breeze in summer if it wants to.



  117.  #117AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    @113..Emoticon. So ARE you wanting his company or just a man’s company? Your CDing for a reason and I am taking that he is your ex for a reason?



  118.  #118AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    @115…aww your words were so heartfelt! I love when someone expresses who they are like that..Brava to u 😛



  119.  #119AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Its better to feel the fear and endure the pain than to never have love AT ALL! I got thaT somewhere…hmm..



  120.  #120Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Emoticon,

    You’re right. Living in the moment is the way to go. I just had that a week ago, then tonight all these feelings of fear loom up screaming in my face. They ARE here to protect me – they’ve done it well in the past. But they’re not serving me. I don’t need protection from love. But darn if I don’t have a hard time staying convinced of that!



  121.  #121Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Yeah I’m really just wanting a man’s company. His is the easiest 2 get, or used to be. Lives close by, and its easier for me to stay in my comfort zone knowing I have already been sexual with him. I know I need to come out of my comfort zone to reinvent my love life a little bit lol



  122.  #122Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Thanks AmazingMe!

    Well it seems my phone is starting to act up again so if I disappear w/o a word, it’s because I can no longer post.



  123.  #123AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Emoticon how does he feel about that? So you must not be in love?



  124.  #124Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    I’m really not in love. I notice myself thinking and talking about other CDs more. I think its really more of me feeling needy and missing the past but he’s a CD for practice he’s not someone I would want to be in a relationship with (again) but I do care about him (maybe in a friendly way) I’m not too sure what is going on here between us



  125.  #125Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    @120 – I can identify with that. I feel the same about TTG alot. He’s familiar and close-by (and easy, heehee. Oops!). But he also really surprises me sometimes. Like Monday, when my friend passed – he was the one who called to let me know. And he hung out with me all day and babysat me to make sure I didn’t get myself in trouble (they were giving me free shots at the bar). Bad! And all this when I thought he didn’t handle raw emotion that well. There’s something to be said for not having expectations and letting oneself be surprised. It felt super good and sweet that he was there for me and now I’ve not heard a peep out of him since. But it doesn’t matter. He was there for me when I really needed him.



  126.  #126Starla on October 13, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Sweetpea, your friend passed too?

    I’m sorry:(



  127.  #127Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    Oh wow Sweetpea. Surprise! I was surprised too that one time I cried in front of my ex. Maybe that’s y I’m feeling so let down because I expected him to come over here. Everytime we happen to sleep together its when I least expected it



  128.  #128Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    Both of u accept my sympathy 🙁



  129.  #129Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    I guess being in love with two guys will make it easier to not focus on just one. Except one of them is stepping up and one… Not so much. Can I be a polygamist? I think I should be allowed more than one husband.

    Well that’s progress. I go from being afraid to be in love with any of them to wanting to marry them all! Yay! =D



  130.  #130AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    I guess if two people agree to date other people get your needs met. Rori says it is about us and how we feel. I am kinda numb right now, I dont want to feel used ever again….Wow I guess I admit it I was an overfunctioning mess and was used. I always said do not mistake my kindness for weakness! Fake it til you make it so they say. I am not faking nothin no more..lol..



  131.  #131AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    LOL SweetPea marry them all, grooms for everyone make it a double..haha..and I too am sorry to hear about your friend I didnt know did u post about it? So sorry hugs to u too XOXOX



  132.  #132Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Starla,

    Yes. On Monday, but it was after a short, painful, brutal battle with liver cancer, so there’s a little (very little) brightness to it.

    Thanks to you and Emoticon, I do accept your sympathy. Thanks.



  133.  #133Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    Thanks AmazingMe. I posted about it on Monday, yes. Just briefly – was lounging on the Island when I got the call.

    @126 – lol Emoticon! Me too. It’s been 2 months since we slept together – but we hang out alot. For the most part, he doesn’t even try. Which strangely feels good to me because he tries to seduce every other woman on the planet and is successful with about half of them. So I feel special that he just hangs out and buys me stuff and protects me like a trained doberman! I told him I love him Monday night but that it doesn’t mean anything and said “you know why?” And he said, “because I love you too?” And that didn’t scare me. But I suspect that’s because I was drunk off my arse.



  134.  #134Emoticon on October 13, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    Sweet pea funny and cute story 🙂 n yes its very special that he is different with u than with every other woman!



  135.  #135AmazingMe on October 13, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    GoodNight sirens big day of wallowing in self pitty tomorrow..lol. Actually going to see one of my best friends and the her newest edition that I have not yet seen. Yay, excited the simple things in life! XOXO



  136.  #136Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    AmazingMe,

    The problem is, I really don’t like CDing once things start to feel serious. For a date here and there, see a guy once or twice, it’s ok, but I’ve been seeing MM regularly for the past six weeks and TTG (less as a CD but still regularly) for a couple of months. There’s been no talk with MM about dating other guys (I’m not gonna bring it up). Ack! It just all feels so confusing at this point. There’s been no talk of exclusivity either, and I’m just kind of going on the premise that until he brings it up (I’m fairly certain he’s not seeing anyone else, I don’t know when he’d have the time. But I guess it’s possible. Doesn’t matter, cuz I have prime-time – the entire weekend last week) I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. Or until it gets so uncomfortable I snap. Which is a very real possibility at this point.

    I don’t know what to do. I’m just winging it. I know what you’re saying about being used – I have been so many times in the past. I don’t feel like I am right now though. By either of these guys. Not even the hooker (TTG). I’m not sure how MM feels about me at this point, but we talk all the time and if I mention a peep about feeling stressed in a text, he’s on the phone calling me. So…I’m not going to try to step into his mind – that’s his biz, but I don’t feel used by him. But those blasted little NVs get in there and niggle at me every once in awhile and I tel them what I just told you – “nope. Not acting like a guy who’s using me…” *shrug*



  137.  #137Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    Thanks Emoticon. It feels special, but he’s still not stepping up. It’s sweet, even it feels confusing. Aw hell! I love it!



  138.  #138Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    I just feel so safe with him (TTG). I feel safe with MM too though. I love feeling safe. It’s one of the most important qualities in a man to me.

    Good night AmazingMe!

    I probably should sign off too. I have a brunch date with. MM in the morning. A real man, a real date, real practice. Feels glorious!! Even if it feels scarier than… well, than most things I do. I’ll be alright. Actuallly I feel like I released lots of that fear tonight. The fears feel smaller and less conspicuous, not like big blaring voices in my head. Thank you Sirens. All of you!



  139.  #139Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    @108 – Starla,

    Aw geez! I didn’t even see this. I don’t think I see half the posts when I’m on my phone unless I log out and log back in. Sorry!

    You are a magic siren! Sometimes we both must be invisible sirens! Lmao!

    I feel bad I missed this!



  140.  #140Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    AmazingMe,

    I know you’ve gone off to sandland, but I missed 109, too.

    “…which man has your heart>?” Right now, it’s safely caged in my chest, I think. I don’t know. Like I said, I know that TTG just isn’t a good option for me, but I’ve accepted that I love him and that’s just how it is. Nothing I can do about it. I’ve not let myself go there with MM. Or maybe I’m just in denial.

    “Do you want just the one?” Yes. I want just one. Despite my earlier comment about polygamy. And if I were to choose just one, it would be, hands down, MM. That feels scary to admit, but there it is. But if it’s not him, it will be one even better suited to me, I feel confident about that.

    “I used to have back ups, I dont feel it was too healthy but I would really like this one and still talk to a few others helped the abandoment issue. I was never in a place to get hurt or fall too hard.” I’ve never done this before. I was always a “one man woman” – didn’t even want to give the appearance that I might “cheat.” But I’m seeing the attraction to putting myself in a place to not fall too hard at this point. I think that’s exactly what CDing is designed to do, is it not? Keep us from being too focused on one man until one puts a ring on our finger?



  141.  #141English Woman on October 13, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    #72 Starla

    {{{{{{ HUGS }}}}} Oh that is just too sad, she must have been really unhappy. Poor poor girl.



  142.  #142Starla on October 13, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    138 Sweetpea, lol that’s funny!

    I finished my work for the night right on schedule. I am the campaign finance goddess, hehe. I love that this opportunity to make more money came along at a time when it was easy to do and I could make time for it.

    I love my life. I hope my friend is in a better place now.



  143.  #143Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Starla,
    I’m glad you too, are finding the humor in it. (Shaking my head)!

    I feel absolutely confident that your friend is in a better place. Do you mind my asking, had she been diagnosed with a mental illness and/or involved with meth?

    Congrats on the side gig! More money for shopping (but less time)!! Lol! Aint that always the way?



  144.  #144Starla on October 13, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    My friend wasn’t involved with meth.

    blah, meth.

    And yay for shopping!! Of course, I’m dropping more weight…I wonder when it will even out.



  145.  #145Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    Starla,

    Was just curious. Good that she wasn’t involved with meth – such a nasty drug!

    Hmmm. Not sure about when the weight will even out – when your body finds one it likes? No worries though. Nothing that can’t be worked around.



  146.  #146Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Starla,

    Aww damn! My comment’s awaiting moderation cuz I used the word “dr*g”! Try this again…

    Was just curious. Good that she wasn’t involved with meth – such a nasty dr*g!

    Hmmm. Not sure about when the weight will even out – when your body finds one it likes? No worries though. Nothing that can’t be worked around.



  147.  #147Starla on October 13, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Such a hard life fluctuating between all these luscious forms of mine lolololol

    I love my body



  148.  #148Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    Good morning EW!!

    And, unfortunately, good night. I must get some beauty sleep!



  149.  #149Sweetpea on October 13, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    Starla,

    Heehee! Luscious Starla! I hope the next couple days are fantastic for you and I wish you much, much peace! Gotta get some sleep now! 😉

    Hope you sleep well too!



  150.  #150English Woman on October 13, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    #146 Sweetpea

    Goodnight and sweet dreams. 🙂

    I can’t believe Friday has come around so quickly AGAIN!! Life seems to be going by so fast these days, it must be an age thing LOL!



  151.  #151Mel on October 14, 2011 at 3:23 am

    OMG…. I’m starting to feel a ‘shift’ in my energy AWAY from sexysarcastic (man-crack)! I’m feeling a little bored with him. I’m finding myself daydreaming of others, feeling excitement about others in my rotation… even a little bit for architect. No ‘bed’ about him though! LOL I DID let him kiss me though! And even gave him a kiss back. Yay me!

    Why the shift? Funnily enough, I think it was just the time apart. The thing I complained about most! Him canceling dates, being too busy….perhaps this 2 weeks without much contact was to help me heal this. To get over my addiction and become more open to others.

    Thank-you universe! 🙂



  152.  #152Iris on October 14, 2011 at 3:34 am

    Thanks to all the sirens for your comments.
    And to starla and sweetpea so sorry to hear about you losses. Sure puts mine in perspective.

    To answer the questions- I thought I was over him as I kept reminding myself of all the ways he made me feel bad during our time together and pushing aside all the times he was wonderful.
    I only found out at the weekend what was going on as this girl wanted to come along to my best friends birthday lunch with my ex as a couple. Without a word to me first. When my best friend found out she immediately told me and asked them to stay away from the lunch.
    I sent the friend an email saying that I hope it works out for her but I don’t want a friend in my life who can’t tell me these things personally and I felt hurt and insulted. (btw I introduced them she wouldn’t have met him if it wasn’t for me) and now I’ve cut her out of my life.
    I guess I just keep comparing myself to her and wondering what I did wrong that he’s willing to give her everything I wanted.
    The other kicker is that now he’s dating this girl he’s back in my friendship circle and so will be appearing at dinner parties, birthdays etc. I share a lot of joint friends with this woman. If I stop going I haven’t lost just one friend I’ve lost a whole circle. I don’t want to split the group.
    Off to do some eft….thanks again sirens. Always so helpful.



  153.  #153Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:24 am

    my hands feel cold!

    i got a crystal on my tooth!!! yay!!! it’s small and sparkly

    i feel excited



  154.  #154Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:27 am

    omgosh Starla I’m so sorry



  155.  #155Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:33 am

    i don’t like teflon… my first image of no flypaper was this plastic white wall that nothing would stick on

    i really got a whole different vibe when rori said rose petals and softness so a man’s footprints can be felt

    i feel sad reading about stuffing down feelings . i t sounds like punishment to me. i don’t want to do it, i feel sad and controlly hearing about others choosing that for themnselves

    it feels heartachy to me

    i wish i could wave a wand and have everywoman choose to put themselves first so that the world’s energy aligns and heals

    i feel angry

    i feel totatlly unworthy and judgemental of myself for talking about this

    i feel afraid of putting distance between myself and others

    this feels totally uncomfortable

    im feeling sad too



  156.  #156Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:40 am

    i am feeling all these kina overwhelming feelings now

    like heavy frowny heavy in my tummy

    i don’t feel like giving to anyone, i feel all defensive of my voices!

    NO i will take care of ME first

    ME FIRST

    hmmfff

    me first life theme popping up?

    thoughts

    bakljdklfjdkljvbbbbfeeling the heaviness



  157.  #157Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:49 am

    i feel kinda disappointed and helpless thinking that i express myself in this way that is really all judgemental and shit

    boo hoo

    babysteps but probably other popele won’t have the patience with me

    luckily i am with me for the long run and i love me and my judgemental self and my defenseive self and my push people away for safety self

    yawn

    that felt good

    even t ho i feel kinda like throwing up for a sec

    and now my thigh feels tight



  158.  #158Butterfly Wings on October 14, 2011 at 6:09 am

    Hi everybody and so sorry for the loss of your friend Starla. That’s awful. 🙁

    I’m still catching up so bear with me everyone.

    TH is here tonight (surprise surprise!), and he bought dinner from my favourite restaurant (bless him!). We’re having a lazy Friday night in, and it’s really really nice. My baby is now in bed and we’re relaxing.

    Funny how things have changed since this morning…

    I have plans with my gf tomorrow night and we’ve decided to have a girlie night in instead of going out (TH does not know this! hehe!). So I’m looking forward to that!

    I’m not feeling so worried about the party now. The fact is he has not invited me, so no point worrying about it. Also, if she’d not invited me and he went alone, it really wouldn’t have bothered me. What did bother me was that I was invited, and he didn’t want me there. Mind you, I’m almost 100% positive he didn’t know that I knew I was invited!

    I know TH doesn’t want me to go out tomorrow night. That’s cos he knows his competition will be out in force and he thinks I’ll be among them, and I’m confident it bothers him because he knows there are plenty of guys who would give their right arms to be with me. So NER to him!

    Another guy sent me a pic of himself today – in his new underwear…. WTF???? Honestly, why do some guys think this is impressing us??? OMG….. I did not reply.

    I feel tired. But good.

    And Ella, I’d hold off on the “suspicious” stuff till you’ve seen proof (or lack of). Could be my constant “glass is half full” mindset, but he really could be telling the truth, and expressing your suspicion would cause him to feel the need to defend himself.

    If it’s a lie, it’s an interesting one! hehe!



  159.  #159AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 6:16 am

    @155 Holy shit….lol…It let you say shit!! wow..hmm



  160.  #160AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 6:35 am

    Good Morning sirens….man it is addicting to be here. When I come here it’s like my safe haven away from my reality. XOXO



  161.  #161Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 6:56 am

    BW anything to keep our vibe up.

    On another note something I think might be helpful. I have a male boss who I am very close to. He is adamant that whereever he goes he is taking me with him. This week while talking about how he wants to relate to the rest of the staff he was saying he wants to keep it professional to the point of instilling some fear in them. While in public he wants to keep that perception with me also. His wife who works in the same organization came with someone else while we were in the office talking. They knocked on the door, the other person spoke and they left to go somewhere else. Nothing visibly passed between he and his wife to acknowledge that they were slightly acquainted with each other. I was really shocked so I asked him about it. He said she knows him well. While in the office it is all about professionalism and she respects that.



  162.  #162Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 6:58 am

    Congrats Mel



  163.  #163m.bishop on October 14, 2011 at 7:02 am

    my husband and i have recently gotten back together after he had a brief affair about 3wks…i told him i want to start over and understand that his motivation may only be the kids, but i dont want to spend my life in a dead marriage for kids….i want us to be close agian! please tell me what program u offer that would best suit me?



  164.  #164Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 7:03 am

    Lilybelle being selfish if it is taking care of yourself is good. Did you get Rori’s recent email? It walks you through getting in touch with your feelings in your body and helping it to relax.



  165.  #165Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 7:04 am

    Hi m.bishop I would look at the promotion for Reconnect if I were you.



  166.  #166Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 7:07 am

    Starla is this the second time this year? I am so sorry about this loss. Don;t stuff though I would lovingly mourn the loss.



  167.  #167Starla on October 14, 2011 at 7:34 am

    It’s the second time in a month.



  168.  #168Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 7:35 am

    So sorry Starla



  169.  #169Senior Lady Vibe on October 14, 2011 at 7:54 am

    Regarding finding your “Purpose on the Planet” and making a forty-year plan…

    A worksheet is available online as a four page PDF! No paying or signing up for anything. Just go grab it and print it out if you want.

    This is one of the exercises used by some executive career development coaches but it’s for lifestyle planning not just for “jobs.”

    Find your POP!

    “Your Forty-Year Vision™
    . . . It’s (Almost) Never Too Late
    How to Create Your Future Five Years at a Time”

    by David Madison, Ph.D.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/get_a_job/images/forty-yearvision.pdf

    xoxo



  170.  #170Starla on October 14, 2011 at 7:54 am

    My stupid f*cking best guy friend is so self absorbed. He knows what happened with my friend killing herself, but is texting me all this morning complaining about how his boss is saying annoying things to him now that he’s quit his job, doesn’t bother to ask me how i’m doing…fine, whatever. But then gets online and keeps going. And I tell him I’m feeling upset and kinda angry. So he says “UGH I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS” and he blocks me!

    Don’t have time for this? I’m supposed to lovingly listen to your trivial problems and then have you block me because I say I’m upset about my friend’s suicide?

    It may have been rash but I texted him that he needed to grow the f*ck up and to not talk to me today. Then I unfriended him on facebook because whenever I’m upset with him he posts links on my wall in a passive aggressive way to maintain contact with me.

    This seriously upset me enough to make me consider not talking to him anymore.

    We have the most dysfunctional friendship ever. Most of the time I feel upset with him. Like every day. But I hold on because we “love each other” and have occasional nice moments.

    But I think it might be time to cut this one off. The same thing happened last time someone died. I don’t know how many times tragedy needs to strike and he needs to act like a self absorbed prick who makes me feel worse before I get the hint that this guy isn’t a very good friend to me:(



  171.  #171Senior Lady Vibe on October 14, 2011 at 7:58 am

    @Starla

    😥

    xoxo



  172.  #172Daria on October 14, 2011 at 7:59 am

    i am such a jerk. i probably make other people feel really bad with my attention to myself

    so what!! what about me!

    thank you Daria for writing that



  173.  #173Starla on October 14, 2011 at 8:05 am

    Daria, only if they straight up tell you that they can’t focus on your right then, and you have a tantrum, lol, which you don’t. Don’t worry.



  174.  #174Starla on October 14, 2011 at 8:07 am

    *you right then



  175.  #175Starla on October 14, 2011 at 8:10 am

    I feel so furious!! Like violent furious. I told him “f*ck you”

    That is so not pretty.

    He is the only person left on the planet anymore that I get this triggered with. We used to date and it was a year of this just constantly.

    blechhhhhhhhhhhh



  176.  #176Starla on October 14, 2011 at 8:13 am

    When I told him I wasn’t okay to listen to his problems this morning, he asked me “so how did you know her anyway? Did you, like, grow up together?”

    And it upset me, because I’ve known him long enough to know he was trying to downplay everything by calling me out as not having known her my whole life, therefore i’m not entitled to be upset and ignore his trivial little problems. Like 7 years isn’t enough.

    And I feel so triggered in general I noticed. Because I feel unworthy of feeling upset. Whenever I was upset about life growing up, I was punished. And my mom used to fabricate crises for attention. So I feel like a bad person when I’m upset.



  177.  #177Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 8:35 am

    Starla I am practicing with fms here so pardon my intrusion in your processing.

    “So I feel like a bad person”. Could this mean I think I am being demanding? I am not sure one can say I am feeling demanding.



  178.  #178Starla on October 14, 2011 at 8:41 am

    FW it’s all good. intrude and process away:)

    I feel paradoxically entitled and unworthy.

    It makes for a huge trigger.

    I talked to CD1 about it, to tell him the memorial service is going to displace our date on Sunday…he is so supportive…but I felt so dumb on the phone. Like I’m stupid and needy for being upset, and if I am allowed to be upset, i’m not “doing it right.”

    🙁



  179.  #179Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 8:45 am

    (((((((((hugs))))))))))))))



  180.  #180Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 9:04 am

    RE 174 It seems like sarcasm Starla. Putting it in the context of the Greta Hassel interview with Rori, she suggested identifying whose cup is more full at the moment – that is if it is someone you are romantically involved with. In any event I believe it can be used in any relationship. I see it also as him using his logic; men are logical after all.

    I am wondering if just telling him that you were feeling overwhelmed like your whole world is crashing down on top of you could have created a different response. I am suspicious that your thinking his problem was “trivial” might have seeped out of your energy a bit. Wonder if there is anything to learn from this relationship moment?



  181.  #181Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 9:07 am

    Starla reading the interaction again and about the story with your mother I am getting a sense of people competing for attention. Or maybe children throwing temper tantrums?

    Do you know what roles you and he have played with each other in the past, and if these roles are now reversed with you being total girl?



  182.  #182Daria on October 14, 2011 at 9:18 am

    Starla – crazy cuz i wrote that before i read about that guy. then i read it and im like oh crap it sounds like im talking about that

    then i was like uff i don’t feel like writing about it to ‘explain’

    thanks for the reassurance mucho

    big hugs



  183.  #183Daria on October 14, 2011 at 9:23 am

    omg horrible stuff on tv

    my mom and my older cousin talked and she my cousin said i sound a lil immature she thinks (cuz i talked about how u know i don’t need a lot of things to feel good and im not all about working somewhere on schedule or money)

    and she said she felt a lil like she’s lost direction after our convo

    i felt pretty good

    i talked more for myself rather than going quiet and letting people talk about what they think of me and judgining me etc and me stuffing

    feeling a lil shaky but still good now



  184.  #184Daria on October 14, 2011 at 9:24 am

    ok and i did EFT on some stuff last nite so that may have been helping me feel more powerful



  185.  #185Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Competing has been something that comes up with me and him constantly. So much so that I gently remind him sometimes that I’m feeling unimportant. As long as I am on a positive kick, which I usually am, it’s not an issue. But as soon as something goes wrong in my life, he tries to downplay it. When my dear friend suddenly died last month, he said “well, everyone has to die eventually” and nothing else. Thanks. I’m gonna go cry alone in the corner now. lol.

    It’s like he isn’t even capable of snapping out of it. And it’s okay if it’s not in his capacity to be supportive in times like these. But I don’t want to be pushed off when I say I can’t be there for him. “I don’t have time for this.” lol.

    We’re just on a roller coaster.

    I feel bad about busting out the cuss words at him. But I don’t feel bad about being upset with him.



  186.  #186Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 9:30 am

    RE 183 Starla reminds me of how Carol Allen says some men just bring out the worst in us.



  187.  #187Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Starla this just occurred to me. Maybe we do need someone in our lives who entertain our drama queen.



  188.  #188Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:33 am

    FW, He absolutely does. I dated a few men who brought out the worst in me for the last few years, including him.

    Now it just so happens, I am dating men who bring out the very best in me.



  189.  #189Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:36 am

    185 FW, i think you’re right. And I was marveling over how he and i have this enduring love for each other even when we’re fighting every day. even when we’re on the verge of stabbing each other…there is this tendency i’ve developed to tell him always that i love him, even while we’re fighting. and i am learning so much about relationships and love this way. and it is wonderful

    but this is not the time to test me and my unwavering love. i feel really pissed at him. and he’s always been this way so i should quit being surprised.

    it would help if we could keep more distance, if he’s not able to take the focus off himself when i need him to in tragic times. But he considers me his best friend and texts me 100000 times a day with whatever is on bugging him or he is musing over. I didn’t respond today because i knew i couldn’t be there for him. but then he just tracked me down on the internet and went into it.

    ughhh



  190.  #190Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:40 am

    And I have so much to be grateful and happy for in my life, and i want to focus on how wonderful everything is, but i just think about my 2 friends, and how their lives were farking awful before they died….and it’s just not fair…and i don’t feel worthy.

    but everything in my life is really wonderful. and i am crying because i am so lucky and happy and i feel awful



  191.  #191Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:50 am

    urgh i feel so confused. sorry for spamming, everybody!



  192.  #192Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 9:52 am

    http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/how-to-prevent-relationship-drift-from-happening/

    Bonding constantly and consistently, I say, is the only solution to prevent relationship drift from wreaking havoc into your social life.
    Take note that your job won’t take care of you when you get sick. You’re health and your relationships are much more important.
    That’s why you have to nurture all your friendships and take care of your relationships well.



  193.  #193Femininewoman on October 14, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Men’s Insecurities Around Sex in Relationships

    I get a lot of men writing to me that they have problems with not lasting long enough in bed, or problems maintaining an erection, or problems getting her in the mood, or problems getting her to be more passionate, or problems getting her to enjoy sex…
    But, in fact, for most of these men, that’s NOT their problem at all. That’s just the symptom….to read more….

    http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/why-men-are-insecure-about-sex-in-relationships/



  194.  #194Rori Raye on October 14, 2011 at 11:38 am

    Hi Coach Christina – Thanks for your info – and I look forward to hearing your voice and advice here! (I took out the phone number – that can get tricky on the web…!) Love, Rori



  195.  #195Daria on October 14, 2011 at 11:44 am

    i am feeling sad

    i love my sadness
    sigh

    i love my sigh



  196.  #196elle_emm on October 14, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    daria @39:

    these videos are awesome. i get a good feeling for this woman.



  197.  #197Daria on October 14, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    elle – em – yeah! i feel glad

    im gonna dive into them again in a sec, after reading some funny stuff

    am feeling better

    i think a lot of my downy feeling is from all the sugar ive been eating lately

    thank you Daria for organizing my clothes

    thank you for taking out the hook on my dress

    i’m starting to be much more bold in taking apart my clothes project runway style

    yeah!

    thanks Daria

    thank you foro calling and finding out OG friend’s number

    thank you for thinking of what clothes I will wear on the plane

    thank you for putting the crystal on my tooth

    thank you for talking for me today

    thank you for doing EFT for me last night

    thank you for finding these videos

    thank you for reading damn you auto correct



  198.  #198Daria on October 14, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    thank you daria for going poop

    thank you daria for typing that and feeling the embarassment



  199.  #199Daria on October 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    i have a crystal on my tooth

    that is freakin awesome

    i will workout soon

    thank you daria for thinking about working out



  200.  #200Esteemed on October 14, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Daria,

    What do you mean you have a crystal on your tooth?



  201.  #201Daria on October 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Esteemed – my friend here is an orhtodontist and I had a small shiny crystal put on one of my teeth! i feel so excited!



  202.  #202Esteemed on October 14, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Starla,

    RE: #175 – You said, “He is the only person left on the planet anymore that I get this triggered with. We used to date and it was a year of this just constantly.”

    Dudette, I just said that almost exactly to K! I mean, I wrote it! Cuz I’m taking an emotional vacation from that 11+ year relationship! Darn him! And I called him an a$$hole, I feel embarrassed to admit! I just feel furious that he keeps f-ing up our relationship!

    He LOVES me! He honestly loves me, just the way Rori said a man should: totally sold out on me and me alone. For years, he’s told me there never will be another woman for him. I’m his favorite person. He would wither away without me in his life.

    And yet, the moment the slightest disagreement occurs, like me merely stating how I think I should solve a financial problem, he begins interrupting, addressing me angrily, and I mean interrupting every single word I say! I hate it!

    Several people have told me the relationship is toxic. I have been on the verge of ending it many times over. I hang out out of honor for the long time we have known each other…and long distance at that.

    I know the chances of him stopping with his crazy temper are about 1%. Yet I don’t have the heart to cut him loose completely, because I know what I mean to him. Humph! I feel drained after conversations like we had last night!

    I noticed almost the ONLY time my sensitive German Shepherd acts insecure is when I am on the phone with K! Even if I am not yelling, she senses the tension in my tone of voice and comes sidling up to me, sliding to the floor upside down in a submissive position! Apparently, she thinks I’m mad at her. So I pet her and scratch her and hug her to reassure her it’s not HER I feel upset with.

    But do I need to live like that???? Having tense conversations over and over, year after year?? HELL NO!

    So I am taking an emotional vacation, and I asked him to not call me repeatedly, as he usually does. Yet, I still don’t have the heart to cut him off completely. One of these days, he’ll push me too far tho. It’s just hard cuz he’s not all bad by a long shot!



  203.  #203Esteemed on October 14, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Daria,

    Cool, interesting. I’ve never seen that before. I feel so happy for you that you have had such a nice, extended vacation!



  204.  #204Esteemed on October 14, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Everyone,

    RE: #194 – Rori was welcoming Christina, who posted in #7. Welcome Coach Christina! Thank you for connecting with us!



  205.  #205Daria on October 14, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Esteemed – my whole life is a vacation 🙂 this is a part of it



  206.  #206Daria on October 14, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Esteemed – thank you for your good thoughts for me…

    I’ve never heard of crystals on teeth except from my friend here, but she swears it’s worldwide. Another Siren told me she had heard of it before – shrug (i dono what that shrug is about, i feel kinda scared ahsamed of shrugging! i guess i feel a lil disappointed – it would feel great to be all special and surprising with it…

    and i’m sure i will be with it since i haven’t seen or heard of it much in cali anyway



  207.  #207Daria on October 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    thank you Daria for doing the Lefkoe belief change program!

    it felt scary cuz shifting that belief broght up other beliefs that i had as a child that my parents know everything …and they would never scare me beat me yell at me punish me unless it was something really scary and dangerous that i was to learn to avoid

    and i shifted some of THOSE beliefs while I was shifting the belief i was working on (“mistakes and failure are bad”)

    and that felt really scary and sad

    like i felt heartbroken and betrayed by my parents that they didn’t know everything and treated me unkindly without there being a huge danger

    and it felt SCARY to think of them not knowing everything and not being able to trust them – and pushing those thoughts away and just internalizing stuff about ME and the WORLD instead cuz choosing to believe that they were not infallible felt too scary and heartbreaking too

    like omg they told me they know best! i guess i felt kinda betrayed on that

    i love me

    so many feelings and sensations were in my body as i was working on this belief

    and i did it… and I do feel so much more relieved – giggly right now – thinking of some things i wanted to try like moving out my house to live with some people i don’t know well

    it’s like mistakes and failure AREN’T bad and it WON;T be the end of the world if it doesn’t feel fabulous right away its just part of the experience and keep on going and it might just feel great yeah!!

    giggly

    wow

    i remember when i first did these belief changes there was a lot of resistance and tuning out i worked thru cuz it was so much stuff moving around in my body

    and then my body therapist told me making adjustments just at a mind level is not enough cuz energies stuck in the tissues will bring up new situations to try to get out and return to old beliefs

    AND something that felt scary and horrible – my brother staling my ipod – did happen and after that some of my new confidence crashed

    and now im ready to try again

    and im intending for the energies in my body to comfortably work their way out and be released too

    THANK YOU HELPING SPIRITS AND thank you DARIA

    giggle!!

    yaya1

    i do like this program cuz i did have a surge of confidence after it

    and cuz doing it is hand holdy and straightforward evcen tho they don’t address all the stuff felt in the body as I work thru it

    its like all these chest squeezes and convulsions and it’s engaging my attention on other stuff like answering the program questions out loud

    and i LIKE this program – giggle – and feel glad i got it and looking forward to working with it some more

    wow lots of giggles

    stuff shifting inside me from this bleief sutfff

    thank you releasing energies

    you are safe to shift out of my body and remolecularilze and rewave to universal love and healing!!!

    see the healing inside YOU

    gigglEEEE!



  208.  #208Daria on October 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    I have the whole “Natural Confidence” Lefkoe belief system program

    im feeling all grateful and happy and impressed with it right now

    it’s like having a therapist there to remove a belief in like 20 minutes

    except there’s no therapist, its talking back to the video

    and it worked dammit it did!

    my mind is creating different scenarios now like i said about my future endeavors

    and i LIKE that

    omgosh that feels like giggling

    it’s kinda similar to a Byron Katie thing but just stepped through it and employing a similar though somewhat different process to have the mind let go of the belief

    wooh

    i have a slight headache now

    i wonder if my neurons are shifting busily

    its ok neurons! you’re doing wonderfully! waht if you could feel good shifting! yay neurons

    thank u!



  209.  #209Daria on October 14, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    you know, last time i did all the belief changes – 19 plus 4 deconditionings in ONE NIGHT

    and then i felt amazing, and then kinda like scared and overwhelmed REALLY DOWN that night like everything in life was bad kinda feeling, and then i reshifted to confident by the next day.

    and it kinda lasted for 3 days till the strong trauma for me with my brother

    ack feeling it in my tummy like a squeeze talking about it

    this time i will also do my stretches, and do it a lil more slow paced, not all the beliefs in a night, and i will go back to it and do it again after some time or if stuff seems to revert

    i love

    me

    giggle!!

    sigh

    i can make these shifts

    its safe to make these shifts

    my in the body energies naturally and comfortably ease their way out and are released thats what i intend

    thanks DAria



  210.  #210AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    DARIA….ALLL SIRENNSSSSS>….I PASSED!!! LOL I AM AN RN YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY So happy on cloud 9!! I feel so high to fly I just want to jump.!!! Crying happy tears!!!



  211.  #211Daria on October 14, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    ima bad bad bitch ima bad bad bitch

    i bite real vicious with my crystal studded teeth

    i shake my tail and i wigle my hips

    all them dogs wanna lick where i piss

    ima bad bad bitch ima bad bad bitch

    i howl at the moon when im feelin my bliss

    i bleed on the month cuz im human an shit

    i smell like roses and sandalwood mist



  212.  #212AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    still sinking in OMG I am a RN now..wow!!!



  213.  #213Tiffany on October 14, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    AmazingMe! Congrats! You are Amazing! 🙂



  214.  #214Daria on October 14, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    omg Amazing ME!!!

    thats so awesome!!

    i am just talking to my girl who didn’t pass a test to be a virgin america flight attendant and telling her its good somethign else is her heart’s destiny

    looks liek THIS was on the path to your heart’s destiny

    yay!!!

    i feel all giglly thinking about youjumping up and down with joy



  215.  #215AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Thank u Tiffany!! Thanks so much!!!XOXO



  216.  #216AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Daria I am awesome..I rock…this is a new chapter and I feel like you are all coming with me…so smiles cant even contain it I am havin a beer with dad.



  217.  #217Tiffany on October 14, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Oh, Dear. I just read this today from Virginia Feingold Clark:

    ask yourself:

    1. Do you hide what’s bothering you because you’re afraid to upset him?

    2. Do you hope he will know what you’re thinking so you won’t have to tell him?

    3. Do you have opinions that you are afraid to express because he might not share them?

    The problem with all the behavior above is the LIE OF OMISSION!

    By not speaking up you are actually lying to a man and giving him the wrong impression about who you really are.

    You may not think you are lying by withholding information about yourself, but you are! You are leading him on wanting to please him and to not rock the boat.

    YIKES. I do ALL of these things.

    And not just with romantic interests.

    Yesterday, I was riding my bike, down a road that is fairly busy, and as I was coming around the curve, another guy on a bike and not even wearing a helmet passed by me REALLY closely. I didn’t even hear him until he was already passing me. It felt soooo dangerous. I looked over and he looked right at me. My face might have shown my surprise at him being there, and how in danger I felt. But I didn’t SAY anything. I just felt so frozen. Like I had no voice, and while I was trying to figure out the right thing to say to him, he was riding ahead, until he was out of earshot. I couldn’t even catch up to him.

    And I really wanted to say something, because part of me just knew that he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with such dangerous and disrespectful behavior.

    And yet, I just kept riding along, aware that I just kept feeling angry inside, and not having anywhere to put it.

    Yuck. I hate that feeling. I really want to have the strength and self-assurance to speak up for myself when I feel like I have been wronged – and in a way that doesn’t make the other person feel “wrong,” just self-aware. And I want to lose the fear that keeps me from saying what I need to say.

    ugh. I hate these feelings…



  218.  #218Emoticon on October 14, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Congratulations Amazing!!!! Yay YOU!!! I’m proud!!



  219.  #219LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    210 !!!!!!!!!!! 😀

    JUMPING FOR JOY FOR AMAZING ME!!!!!

    SO HOW YA FEELIN NOW ?

    I just read your post about the clerk at the store. Gave me the urge for comfort food, so headed out to the store myself to get chocolate cake…I come back and you PAAAASSSSED!!!

    You’ll be puttin out different vibes, bc you went out and did what was good for YOU and your future for Yourself. I see your studying as cd’ing yourself. Makes you feel good now that you’ve given that joy to yourself. You must feel sooo proud of yourself.

    Hi 5 ! and break out the champagne ! So excited for you! 😀



  220.  #220Tiffany on October 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    And yes, I said I hate those feelings. I hate those feelings, because they are an indication that I am doing something that shows not-love for myself. They feel unpleasant because they are telling me that I have failed to do something to show me that I love me so much. And I do love me so much. But I’m afraid to show it. I am afraid to hurt someone else. But my inside person is hurt that I feel afraid to show how much I love myself. Therefore I love these feelings, because they are showing me something that I need to look at: That I am more important than the person I am afraid of hurting. That me telling the truth of how I feel is more important than the feelings of another person who has hurt me. And they may not be aware. If I never say something, they may never know. And they may do it again. But I am afraid, because I am not used to being heard. I am not used to being listened to. I am going to have to practice listening to myself. And then, maybe, slowly, I will begin to be able to tell people how I truly feel.

    I hope that I can start doing that sooner rather than later…



  221.  #221LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Big hug ((((Starla)))) xox

    Hope you feel yourself out of this tough moment fine.



  222.  #222Daria on October 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    “3. Do you have opinions that you are afraid to express because he might not share them?”

    yes! i was doing these with some guys cuz i was feeling afraid of not being accepted for my Goddess free spirited self!

    and im babystepping to not doing that now! yeah!!

    oh and,, ,im finding Pauly from Jersey shore really attractive right now

    he kinda reminds me of guywho in a way, the way deena is hittin on him its like me hittin on guywho ack it feels uncomfy and thats OK too hehhe giggle giglle

    i feel good!!

    i feel like omg

    i feel like so much of me is opened up and flowy right now

    ladies i super recommend this Lefkoe belief change program

    it can be googled and i think they have a few free beliefs you can work – 20 min to eliminate the belief and have your mind thinking differn and tghe energy of having had a good riff



  223.  #223LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Big hug ((((Starla)))) xox

    Posted another comment to you, but it’s stuck in moderation. I reread my sentence and realize it looks kinda funky.

    Take good care of You.



  224.  #224Emoticon on October 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Daria I love ur rap!!!



  225.  #225Daria on October 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    hehehe

    i am not going to go with opinions, but with feelings

    like oh that feels kind uncomfortable

    and i feel uncomfortable saying something and confused

    and im feeling judgmental, and i feel insecure feeling that, i dont want to feel judgemental

    and i fel myself go all in my head to all these spinny thoughts about it

    and i feel overhwhelmed

    hehe i like it



  226.  #226LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Oops, sorry…Meant to call you RN Amazing Me.

    Now let’s all call you RN Amazing Me.

    YEY RN Amazing Me!



  227.  #227LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    220:

    Aww Tiffany. That’s exactly how I made myself feel small and unimportant. When I would feel these feelings, I would get angy and lash out.

    Once I stopped lashing out and expressed ME in FMs, the people (yes, practiced on many)…stopped in there tracks and really listened, and I only ended up feeling Heard…by my coworkers, cd…mom…it works on everybody.
    It’s so worth it to step out of your confort zone and give it a shot. Practice here by trying it out on us and ask our feedback before you say it to the person it concerns.

    There are so many helpful sirens here.



  228.  #228LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    You all remember the amazing wedding I was at 2 weeks ago?
    Well the pro photographer is finally making the slide show available on his website tomorrow!!!

    My camara f’d up on me, so I have no pix of my own. But getting to see pro pix tomorrow! YEY!!! 😀
    I’ll get to relive this beautiful day that filled me up with so much love.
    That full of love feeling is still w me today after 2 weeks. I’m feeling love towards every human being. My anger is all gone since then. I’ve been giving warm smiles to everyone since then, even strangers.

    Can’t wait to see those pix!



  229.  #229alias girl on October 14, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    210 Amazing me —- AMAZING YOU!!!!!! i got chills and tears!!! BIG CONRATS and a siren party with a siren cake and balloons (and beer too!)

    YAE AMAZING ME!! I FEEL SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!



  230.  #230alias girl on October 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    can i just brag and say i am having another amazing hair day. thank you.



  231.  #231alias girl on October 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    i should be so flattered that someone so continually wants to bite my swag. i will try being flattered, swacker.



  232.  #232LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    230: Yeah A Girl !

    Ever since you posted about your hair, I’ve been looking forward to Saturday to make it hair day. Will go buy sulfate free shampoo and try on a hair treatment.



  233.  #233alias girl on October 14, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    232 lili 41 sulfate free. for sure. i noticed a difference right away. and now it is really starting to look nice. i have been experimenting with what to do to it to make it look nice. and for me, less is more.

    but yes SULFATE FREE, try it.

    and sulfate free shampoo isnt going to have all the suds and bubbles as the other shampoos and this is actually good. because now you are not stripping all the natural oils from your hair that help keep it healthy.

    some people need to get used to the less suds though. they feel its not “working” as well.

    i hope you like iT! and let me know which one you try. i feel curious….



  234.  #234LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Calling all sirens!

    Oprah’s Lifeclass is on in 15 minutes on the OWN channel. Description: Oprah reaches back through the show’s 25-year history to teach the lessons that matter.

    I saw the other night…About one of Oprah’s shows where financial guru Suze Ormond coached a single mom. That single mom was interviewed recently to see how that moment helped her evolve. She learned how to be very happy.
    It was truly inspiring.



  235.  #235alias girl on October 14, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    also i used to have REALLY oily hair. (i still do. i cant go a day without washing it)

    but after using sulfate free, which leaves oils in, my hair is less oily on a daily basis.

    the body produces oils for a good reason. if we strip them with intense “oil removing” cleansers the body will often go into overdrive and produce MORE oil to overcompensate.



  236.  #236Daria on October 14, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    wow an aspect came up for me “mistakes and failures are dangerous”

    and i tried to work it out with the process just in my head (cuz its not spelled out fo rthat. but i could potentially go thru the program working it. but i tried to do it quick on the fly) and it still felt kinda bad

    and i still kinda felt it true

    and then i did some byron katie on it

    and i feel more relieved

    yep

    🙂

    feeling good

    feeling good to have this tool

    still feeling a lil scared now thinking about making some decisions like moving in with people i don’t know well

    which i was feeling totatly free and ecstatic about a lil while ago

    and tis ok

    i will give my mind time to adjust AND

    i will repeat this tomorrow

    and maybe there’s more beliefs to work on too to feel safer

    sigh

    and just that trhill of doing it felt awesome and allowed me to open my mind to whats possible

    and im feeling a lil down and crappy now

    and its quit possible these are more feelings of energies working themselves gently out my body like i asked them too

    i am healing

    thank u Daria



  237.  #237LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Oprah keeps repeating this on that show:
    She says she found the way to success only once she started connecting to her true self and expressing her true self. She says that people weren’t buying her when she was “trying” to be anything else but herself.
    She makes me feel safe to be Me.



  238.  #238Daria on October 14, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    i guess i can do “mistakes and failures can keep you stuck feeling bad for a long time”

    “mistakes and failures can lead to feeling really bad later”

    i will work on those tomorrow

    feels sad to think about them!

    mmmm

    well this tool will work

    thank you brain!

    for rewiring what you did

    and thank you for brining up these new aspects to shift!



  239.  #239Daria on October 14, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    im feeling worried taht ill keep bringing up new and new aspects

    and that;s ok

    i also feel kinda excited that that won’t happen

    sigh

    im feeling tired

    i did lots of shifting today

    and my energy has settled in

    and im babystepping

    babystepping is good

    and i feel disappointed

    and i can handle it

    i can handle all the emotions around this shifting

    and tis ok to be able to handle it

    it doesnt mean no one will pay me attention or love me or help me or support me

    and i love me

    thank you for doing so much for me

    tahnk you for being brave

    thank you for feeling and paying attention to my body

    thank you for taking the babysteps toward shifting thsee feelings



  240.  #240LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    235:

    I’ve always had hair I can be proud of. But lately no, bc I’ve washed it with a harsh shampoo to strip off built up residue and it only made it worse. It actually stripped off the natural shine along with the residue.
    Now it’s all dull and lifeless.

    So tomorrow I’m trying the sulfate free shampoo and a natural treatment. I’ll keep ya posted.



  241.  #241LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    I feel much more confident when I have good hair.



  242.  #242Esteemed on October 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Lili,

    I feel more confident when I wear a low cut blouse that shows a little cleavage! :LOL:



  243.  #243R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Thanks Lili and Alias Girl and Daria and …and…everyone. You are so much appreciated I am on my 4th beer had a good steak and just feel exhausted lol. It feels amazing though and thank I changed the name…haha



  244.  #244R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    I was so sure I failed and now I feel so many doors opened for me. The beauty of it is my best friend of 20 some years was there to share it with me!! So awesome I just squeezed her tight and we cried.



  245.  #245LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    242:

    lol Esteemed…I was proud of my cleavage, but now that’s gone too with the shine of my hair…Lost 13 pounds, I think 9 of which came out of the boobs. lol.
    I’m very short so 13 pounds is enough to seriously deflate the cleavage 😉
    That’s OK, I got the cute curvy b*tt to compensate.



  246.  #246LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    244:

    R.N., are you doing the squeeling screaming? lol 🙂



  247.  #247Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    its like there was shut down around how much open i was feeling

    and thats ok

    im totally willing to work with my body and take babysteps

    and we are taking them baby

    i am totally intending wonderful thought vibes until its totally normal for us

    and thank you for that magical time of openess

    shaking my head

    you rock D



  248.  #248Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    thanks Emoticon!

    i was riding my wave of having shifted that belief so i was open to whatever it woudl be great

    am feeling a bit sad

    many of my feelings from when those beliefs were made just came up and i just did drop to my knees tool



  249.  #249LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    242:
    Wish I had cleavage. But happy for those who do have. Work it girl ! and be proud.



  250.  #250Emoticon on October 14, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    I’m about 2 watch “a good woman” with Scarlett Johansen any1 seen it?



  251.  #251sammie sighs on October 14, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Starla so sorry for your loss .((H))) x



  252.  #252Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I got some stuff for my hair at morroccomethod.com

    i got their rubber scalp massager and their natural bristle hair brush

    i scalp massage with the massager 1 – 3 times a day and brush right after to distribute the oils

    this keeps my hair clean too

    it also feels amazingly good and refreshing. so much so that it’s a feeling i had never experienced before and wouldn’t really have believed it until i started doing it. kinda like skin brushing

    i haven’t washed my hair in 2 weeks

    usually i don’t wash it for longer.

    it was getting an issue with the sebum buildup on my brush and i jsut recently figured out that that i can easily clean my brush

    i take one of those plastic bathroom scrubby brush things with the white bristles, lkike the cheap ones that would scrub heels or nails

    and put some soap, and scrub my hairbrush

    tadah, its all clean, so no sebum to look like white dots getting back in my hair

    so now i will really not need to wash my hair

    i don’t need to wash it cuz all smells and toxins and deposits get “brushed out” once i use the massager and brush.

    it would not work without both



  253.  #253Senior Lady Vibe on October 14, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    @212: AmazingMe

    Congratulations on your recent success! It’s one of many more to come.

    😀
    xoxo



  254.  #254R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    no sqealing imagine someone crying with all thier heart on a show where they were reunited with someone they love from a long time ago…That was me…



  255.  #255R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    @246..oops that was left out 🙂



  256.  #256Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    thank you Daria for brushing my teeth

    thank you for brushing my hair

    thank you for doing my stretches

    thank you for encouraging me through the feelings after teh belief change exercise

    thank you for dropping to my knees

    thank you for restuffing my blanket

    thank you so much for being so there for me



  257.  #257LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    254:

    I can imagine the feeling. I’ve been through it w my brother’s gf…giving her emotional support while whe was going through all that studying and rock tough R.N. exams.
    She was a wreck through it all. The RN exams are so tough. She finally called it quits and settle for being an assistant nurse. She really enjoys it though.



  258.  #258LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    @254…Especially while raising kids…my hat’s off to You Goddess! I’m having a glass of wine and TOAST TO YOU!

    & TOAST TO ALL GODDESSES HERE!



  259.  #259LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    @255:

    …and you forgot: Thank You Daria for being here with us. xox.



  260.  #260R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    YES lets TOAST…. 🙂 I had 4 beers and of coarse my yummy steak so I am feeling heavy eyed. SLV thank you my friend! You guys rock. Siren Island is where I choose to party for tonight for I will be heading home to my excited kiddos tomorrow and get lots of love!! Cant wait!



  261.  #261GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    Darned Windows Updates are mandatory and is likely what was blocking my computer all day, and what deleted my long, carefully written and considered message for Sweetpea & others about rose oil and more, as well as a word file in which I had saved lots of Siren’s wise comments here. |frown|

    I feel coolly angry, and a little bit scared that my computer gets hijacked like this regularly, and I never have control over it. I am suspicious of Windows Updates (and anything that is forced on me and which I don’t get to choose, and don’t understand any features of or why I supposedly “need” to receive it).

    Along that same line, NSM and I are cleaning one of the areas/bldgs for a concert tomorrow night, and he wanted me to do a task in a room with floor varnish fumes in it, and wouldn’t let me do it in another room which actually would have been easier anyway, as well as safe for me to breathe in (I am very chemically sensitive, which runs in my family too, and don’t wanna breathe crappy chemically stuff anyway). He also wanted me to wipe down 20+ 4.5 foot long stairs by hand and wouldn’t let me get a mop. I would not do it without a mop, so he said he’d just do both tasks since I wouldn’t do them how he wanted, and he is resentful about it and more… which he has no right to be resentful about.

    I feel very judging of this (could give many adjectives to describe him but won’t go into that energy consciously), and incredulous (although I should be used to this stuff by now… guess I kept hoping love would change him since this weirdness was merely intermittent for a long time). I also feel scoffing. And strong and in control of myself, and not in need of his approval. Lol.

    This feels like a BDSM relationship without the sex torture (sex was tender and blissful, passionate, respectful, ideal, wildly sensual, off the chart, absolutely comfortable and free and matched, perfect and nourishing… what a weird dichotomy that the rest of him and the relationship is so not). The rest of the relationship feels exactly like BDSM. He actually starts missing and longing for me more, the more he can subtly dominate, vex, insult, destabilize, and control me.

    I feel like Cinderella cleaning the hearth with the jealous stepsisters busting her chops… except it’s a beautiful but conflicted man who acts like a woman with PMS all the time.

    I wish life was simpler.

    I will sit and do the Byron Katie work on all this some more… as pertains to my judgments on him as well as on myself, and others in my past with whom I may have had similar patterns… I want to forgive all concernd so I can be free (and I want to break any patterns etc in myself that might cause this to repeat in my life… and do the Turnarounds).



  262.  #262LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    @259

    Those kiddos are in for a fun time w you and this happy vibe.



  263.  #263Emoticon on October 14, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    In the movie they just called their place the land of the sirens



  264.  #264Daria on October 14, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Thanks Lili 🙂



  265.  #265GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Daria, if you feel good about this, and if you have time and it’s something you can answer, it would feel very good and helpful to me if you could give me some tips on Tapping about all this. I’m familiar but only a little bit experienced with the Tapping, esp on something like this.

    Please let me know if I can do anything in exchange for you. |smiles|



  266.  #266GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Daria if you don’t feel in the mood to advise me, please don’t worry, it’s okay… I’ve got plenty to do right now. I just def wanna add Tapping at some point to my repetoire of Tools for taking care of me.



  267.  #267Daria on October 14, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    GingerSky – I don’t have any particular way of tapping that I can say WOW for…

    I like to follow along to other people’s scripts and videos right now… somehow that seems to work more powerfully for me

    Here’s a video on Resistance to Change that I often like to use before doing other energy work:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BNgfagvl7M



  268.  #268Daria on October 14, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    and here is a very one that I like and often gets me feeling moved when I tap to it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QejV7K3iYo



  269.  #269Daria on October 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    here’s one I’ve used lately and I found I felt more powerful imagining myself around people after tapping along with it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr-mt2TciIw&feature=channel_video_title



  270.  #270Daria on October 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    thank you Daria for interrupting jersey shore when i felt bored

    thank you for checking my dating sites and answering some of the men

    thank you for taking me to sleep



  271.  #271R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    Goodnight Daria!



  272.  #272R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    It’s Friday night all is quiet on siren island….hmmm..never stopped me before talking to myself…haha… sinking into bed! Absorbing so much to do but one day at a time.



  273.  #273GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    From the last thread… for Sweetpea and EW, and someone else who asked about incense… and anyone interested:

    Rose oil, incense, etc… various bits of info… as best I can recall what I had written. In case you can’t tell, I miss teaching this and hope to have classes (again) soon. Hope this isn’t TMI and that it’s useful and fun…

    Rose is as Tinque said all about the heart. It opens the heart to love, at way the highest vibration of any oil (or almost anything on the planet possibly… some rose vibrates at a frequency of 320 Mgh, extremely high). A rose itself can be thought of as a mini-heart or heart chakra, as it opens and blossoms, full, many-chambered, fragile and delicate, yet strong and passionate.

    Experiencing rose oil will allow you to attune to its frequency (we shift frequency from anything we’re exposed to really), thus raising yours, which is always good for us |smiles|. It opens, gentles, expands, balances, heals, softens and cleanses the heart chakra, and the brain centers and emotional bodies related to the heart… bringing in compassion, a high loving perspective, heart-maturity, a kind of emotional safety, loss of defensiveness, comfort, flowing and very feminine healthy heart energy.

    (Good for leaning back… possibly the Official E-Oil Of Team Lean Back?) |wink| Would def bring one to sinking into the rich and deep piled, luxurious carpet of fem energy, I believe.

    Good rose oil feels *amazing*. The really good stuff is very expensive, but some good brands are reasonable. I prefer the full & sultry Morrocan rose, but Damask is probably the most common for e-oil?

    And it’s good/important to get high quality e-oils, such as Young Living, which is overpriced in a way, but worth the money if you can afford. Also good are Simpler’s, Oshaddi, and others I can’t recall offhand. Cheap oils or fragrance (synthetic) oils are toxic. (Some natural perfumes list “fragrance” when they really mean e-oils, so I call the 800 # on the container for clarification to be sure.)

    Rose is strongly not preferred by many men according to studies, and it’s an anti-aphrodisiac for them. The only men I know who like it are practitioners, and even they say it’s a sexual turn off. Men in studies prefer natural vanilla (even if it’s just cooking extract), cinnamon (an aphrodisiac), nutmeg (think pumpkin pie) and some others, esp ones which resemble the female pheremones (more later?).

    Never subject a man to lavender on a frequent regular basis, as it increases estrogen (is fine for brief treatment of injury, ailment, or stress… lav is the heal-all for almost any issue). So it’s probably best we use our rose & lavender oils most when alone or with our gfs! You can keep a broken piece of thick terra cotta or brick, hard wood, or something else pourous in your purse to sniff your oil when you don’t want to necessarily have it wafting around you for others to smell.

    Speaking of aphrodisiacs, ylang ylang is a very good one… EW you may wanna know this since you like it. It blends the male and female energies, facilitating for better sex, communication, connection & understanding. It makes some people downright turned on, and can make sex very enriched and intensified/harmonized for many, though not everyone. So I advise good ethics and mindfulness of where, when and how you use it. I have stories amazing, hilarious, embarassing, and convincing to share about my experiences with ylang ylang oil!

    As for incense, if you get a finer brand and the type that lacks the stick in it, it won’t likely be nasty, synthetic, sooty, smoky etc. Most inscenses have toxic/synthetic/petroleum crap in them… there are a couple of Japanese brands I like… called perhaps Kyoto and Shimao, or Shimano… or something like that. Remind me and I’ll try & find that info and share it. Once you experience the good ones, you’ll likely never go back.

    This concludes our lesson for today… thanks for playing along! I enjoy sharing this stuff, and knowing lives may be enhanced by it.

    Email me at gingersky234@gmail.com if you wanna get more info etc.

    Enjoy!



  274.  #274GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Oh, thank you for the Tapping info, Daria! I feel so good to try this! ((xox))



  275.  #275R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    @272 Thanks for sharing that….I have been wanting to try different and natural things! I like 🙂



  276.  #276LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Below is the picture I printed out, framed and hung on my wall:

    http://photobucket.com/images/what+matters+most+is+how+you+see+yourself/



  277.  #277GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    #260 Btw no insult or judgment meant to anyone who may be into BDSM… it’s an energy I was around as a child in some ways, and which keeps popping back in for me subtly, and which doesn’t feel good for me. I have a friend who was raised in a household centered around it and some others I’m acquainted with who are in that vibe, so I know quite a lot. It’s not my bag, at least not consciously… and I’ll be employing my boy energy to keep taking care of me and clearing that vibe. All due respect to what others are into.



  278.  #278GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    #272 AmazingMe Anytime! Ask me anything and I’ll gladly share what I know. Natural feels good.



  279.  #279GingerSky on October 14, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Sweetpea, I feel for your loss. May peace and wholeness reign.



  280.  #280LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    Hey RN,

    I’m quiet coz I’m busy checking out Daria’s links.



  281.  #281Mel on October 14, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Yay Amazing Me!!! I’m so happy for you! 🙂

    Cheers!



  282.  #282R.N.AmazingMe on October 14, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Thanks Mel!! Lili so funny I just saw that picture on my dads bathroom wall! So many words for that photo love that concept!!



  283.  #283Mel on October 14, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    So my friend with BEEnefits was telling me about the hot lovemaking session he had with the honey that I gave him (for helping with the bees).

    WTF? Why are you telling me this? As if I wanna hear about you getting it on with someone else after you so clearly told me you weren’t “ready” to date…

    Meh. Probably just some one night hook-up (which I wouldn’t have wanted) but still… That felt bad to hear. Especially since I really need some hot honey love-making of my own!



  284.  #284Mel on October 14, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Coffee date tomorrow with cute Brazilian soccer player (new CD)… this might be interesting! Should I bring some honey? LOL



  285.  #285Mel on October 14, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Architect has gone out of town for the weekend and has wished me a nice weekend/said good-bye a zillion times! How cute! 🙂 Awwww…. he’s thinking about me!



  286.  #286Mel on October 14, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    SexySarcastic is still laying low. I wonder if we will end up getting together on Sunday, as planned… the funny thing is that I kinda don’t care! 🙂 It would totally be HIS loss!



  287.  #287Mel on October 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    It appears I’m a little spambot… LOL

    Dirty texter is also up to his old tricks. I wonder if he will ever be like that in person. I think he’s actually kinda shy… I find his sexual innuendo amusing. It’s fun to play along. He doesn’t seem to be jumping at the opportunity to actually see me though…. and I’m certainly not going to ask him out on a date. Coffee went well. id see him again if he asked. But for now the texting is fun. It makes me feel kinda sexy! 🙂



  288.  #288LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Daria’s link brought me to this video. It’s a good pep talk.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9inPniJ_FEI&feature=related



  289.  #289LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Hi Mel,

    You already drenched in honey with all those guys buzzing around…you’re hot on fire. Go girl!



  290.  #290LILI 41 on October 14, 2011 at 8:32 pm


  291.  #291confusion on October 14, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    has anyone ever felt like a man was testing you? like hes the one doing the leaning back to see what you can do? this feels frustrating sometimes i feel like the guy is the one doing the “rules.” I feel this way because when I budge and lean forward, I always get a response right away…it feels fishy to me. He texts back exactly ten to fifteen minutes after I text…he likes to bring up other girls that are friends, when we meet up at a social event he comes over and stands close to me and acts like he doesnt see me and when I walk towards him he is “suprized” and nervous. Hes such a tool! but i just love him hes been my friend for years and weve had some history ughhhhh I feel so annoyed with myself..has anyone felt like this? like the man is testing you? how do you lean back if he is?



  292.  #292Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Jeez ladies
    I am getting some serious male attention from just about every man i come into contact with.

    my facebook is out of control right now…all these dudes i known for years around town are all shooting arrows my way.

    i went out the other night and had to leave because i was so overwhelmed with male attention. In my baggy men’s tshirt and skate shoes, i was getting soooo much dang attention.

    and then tonight the korean pastor in my friend’s wedding kept flirting with me in broken english offering to be my husband lol…it was super sweet and so awkward.

    what is going on??? eesh



  293.  #293Starla on October 14, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    290 confusion

    you just lean back further. He might be testing you or more likely he is super insecure to make a move on you. Either way, it’s not really your problem to worry about what he’s doing. You just lean back. He’ll come to you then. You just have to grin and bear it when he’s not at first and leaning back feels crazy hard.

    Does this make sense?



  294.  #294confusion on October 14, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Hi Starla hehe well im def taking your advice from your great results:) yeah it makes sense and i know hes insecure hes younger than me and im just crazy about him! hes so messed up to but he just makes my heart do spins and its been this way for the past four years…we always keep in touch he likes spending time together but im sooo incredibly shy it doesnt help that he is. his mystery is SEXY, and even his retardedness about me because i can see right through it lmao! im just crazy at this point but its def time to change it up im gonna lean extra back it worked before i just feel so impatient sometimes…i will also circular date:) any advice is welcome thanks



  295.  #295confusion on October 14, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    lol just read my previous post and feel kinda pathetic wtf why am i even caring he knows ive had feelings for me and he just keeps stringing me along with this stupid friend card that i also silently agree on. I gotta get out of this hole



  296.  #296confusion on October 14, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    i meant he knows ive had feelings for him….lol



  297.  #297Emerson on October 14, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    RN Amazing Me!!!!!!!
    Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so excited for you. That is wonderful news…you’ve worked so hard for this!!!!



  298.  #298Emerson on October 15, 2011 at 12:15 am

    I have no comment about this article because it’s basically just an ad. It gave me no insight at all, except I need to spent 350. I feel meh about this and I understand she’s probably good…but I just feel turned off. 🙁



  299.  #299Butterfly Wings on October 15, 2011 at 12:17 am

    161: Femininewoman says:

    BW anything to keep our vibe up.

    ————-

    Yep I agree FW.

    More drama with TH today and he’s mad at hell at me (for feeling hurt for not being invited to the party that the hostess specificially told me to keep my night free for etc), and is considering staying home because of that. Yep it’s all my fault! Feeling guilty perhaps for being an a$$??? I’m thinking so! lol

    We just had a huge storm come over with hail and he texted me to see where I was. Checking to make sure I’m ok I think. Oh well… he’s not a complete a$$ then!

    Leaving very soon to head to my gf’s house. We’ve decided to order Thai and have a few drinks at her house – a girly night for us! 😉

    He now knows I’m not going out – I wasn’t going to lie, seeing as I want to be totally authentic, but I did tell him that it’s his choice not to go tonight and what’s done is done and I’m planning on enjoying myself despite what’s happened.



  300.  #300English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 12:56 am

    #210 AMAZING ME!!!!!

    CONGRATULATIONS and CELBRATIONS, pop the champagne cork!! Oh very well done, I bet you are sooo happy.

    Here’s to the next chapter of your life. 😀



  301.  #301English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 12:57 am

    #216 Amazing Me

    Ha didn’t know you had said the chapter thing too lol!!



  302.  #302English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 1:10 am

    #272 Ginger Sky

    Wow thank you for that, it was really interesting. I did know that about ylang ylang, I have some shower/bath stuff with that being the main ingredient and when I sniff it I get a natural high lol. 😉

    You have inspired me to go and seek out some oils and a burner this weekend. All of my stuff like that is still in storage in Os, mmmmm now where can I buy a burner and oils from around here? I think I will have a little CD adventure trying to source them this weekend.



  303.  #303English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 1:10 am

    Oz



  304.  #304English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 1:13 am

    Oh and I always hate incense sticks as they make me cough and splutter, I had no idea it was because of the quality of them!! My daughter is always burning them but didn’t when she knew I was coming over. You are a little mine of information, thank you for sharing. 🙂



  305.  #305English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 1:25 am

    #298 BW

    I may be wrong here (probably am :)) but I think the word “hurt” is a RR no no, maybe Daria will clear this up???

    Anyway enjoy your girly time and your Thai food (yummy) and make it all about YOU!! Ain’t that the hardest thing to do for some of us.



  306.  #306Butterfly Wings on October 15, 2011 at 4:08 am

    Yeah I think “hurt” is a no-no. But I wasn’t looking to be all nice and girly at the time! lol

    Well it turns out he’s decided NOT to go to the party (I can tell because I can see he’s online!) and is still blaming me for it based on what he said earlier. Meh. He could have gone if he really wanted to, so stuff him, I really don’t care right this second.

    Anyway, I’m having a great night with my friend and we’re sitting back watching a movie right now! 🙂



  307.  #307Esteemed on October 15, 2011 at 4:16 am

    EW,

    About the word “hurt”… even though it is a word to describe our feelings, it easily sounds blaming. So Rori suggests saying “I feel like I was just hit with a ton of bricks” or “I feel heavy hearted”.



  308.  #308Esteemed on October 15, 2011 at 4:19 am

    EW,

    Yesterday when I emailed K, I used a creative way to express hurt: ” I feel like I just went from a peaceful lazy summer afternoon in a row boat to being front and center in a boxing ring.”



  309.  #309Starla on October 15, 2011 at 4:30 am

    Confused,
    Leaning back and circular dating are both awesome! The trick to leaning back and circular dating is to be an invitation when he does come toward you. You open up your heart, sink into your pelvis, get in the rori raye dance position, and smile:)

    you stop playing games this way, and so does he. it’s really lovely:)



  310.  #310Esteemed on October 15, 2011 at 4:42 am

    Hi Starla,

    It is super early where you are! Good morning!



  311.  #311Esteemed on October 15, 2011 at 5:23 am

    Confusion,

    RE: #290 – I don’t fully know the dynamic between you n this man. When I read your post it reminded me of my relationship with R in the past. He was undoubtedly testing me to see how I would act in different situations.

    It didn’t make for a very close relationship. Mistrust Felt like a huge wedge between us. I often felt confused also. Our relationship pretty much ended 2 years ago. He has stayed in contact with me ever since, Mostly by text message.

    I really don’t know how similar your situation is mine. I can only speak for myself. The main things I have learned is that a true loving relationship does not feel confusing! And if I had 2009 to do over again, I would be like a sandy beach: soft, warm, loving, open, and free. R is 15 yrs younger than me. I grew very anxious that the crowning moment of my life life would pass me by… I felt like I was 25 again, when I was 45, and I was making up for lost time.
    I hung on way too tightly. I felt a deeper connection with him that I have ever felt with any other man. It has taken me 2 and a half years of working rory’s tools To get to a point where I’m at peace emotionally enuff to not contact… to not contact him. Rori’s Visualizations and other tools are powerful!

    I realize it really is not about the man… It’s about opening my eyes and truly seeing my inner self. And I am working on becoming my best self. I wish I had had the inner strength to just leave R alone And not pursue him. But life is a play you can’t rehearse. Even though I made a lot of miastkes, I love myself anyway. I give compassion to the week parts of myself that were so needy.

    Please excuse the typos. t android phone is just so hard to type on.



  312.  #312Starla on October 15, 2011 at 5:37 am

    I feel excited for amazing me but kinda lackluster cuz i’m not the slightest bit surprised at this accomplishment. ah well, congratulations for doing what i expected without a doubt this whole time:P
    <3



  313.  #313Starla on October 15, 2011 at 5:39 am

    Hi Esteemed, my best friend has a noon wedding today. she’s the only person on the planet i’ll get up at 5 am for:P



  314.  #314Senior Lady Vibe on October 15, 2011 at 5:42 am

    @272: GingerSky says:
    “…Rose oil, incense, etc… various bits of info… Hope this isn’t TMI…
    …it’s good/important to get high quality e-oils, such as Young Living, which is overpriced in a way, but worth the money if you can afford. Also good are Simpler’s, Oshaddi, and others I can’t recall offhand.
    …Never subject a man to lavender on a frequent regular basis, as it increases estrogen
    …Speaking of aphrodisiacs, ylang ylang is a very good one… ”

    No, not TMI. Bring it on! I bought essential oil last week as part of recipe for natural hair gel. Since I’m on budget and already overspent for 2011… LOL… I thought I’d only buy one oil per month. I started with lavender. I see now I should have got ylang-ylang first!

    I got the Aura Cacia brand at Whole Foods. Is that one OK?

    😀
    xoxo



  315.  #315Senior Lady Vibe on October 15, 2011 at 7:38 am

    @297: Emerson

    Did you check the link I put up for the free PDF worksheet? It’s totally free, much respected.

    😀
    xoxo



  316.  #316Emerson on October 15, 2011 at 8:01 am

    SLV I will look for it…no I didn’t see it 🙂 thanks



  317.  #317Mel on October 15, 2011 at 8:04 am

    Awww! Just got another little email from architect. Apparently he found some wireless connection and just wanted to say “hi” and see how my weekend was going. That makes me feel all smiley.

    Heehee… someone is thinking about me! 😉 Even when he’s out of town at a family wedding!

    That’s not at all surprising though… I am irresistibly cute and incredibly fun! 😉 LOL



  318.  #318Emerson on October 15, 2011 at 8:53 am

    Hi Esteemed, it sounds like you are doing so well. I’m so happy to hear this! How are the doggies and are you in the new house yet?

    BTW who is K? I know you’ve mentioned R, but I’m behind on the blog and maybe don’t know about this newbie….



  319.  #319tinque on October 15, 2011 at 8:56 am

    I’m a little late to the party, yet HUGE YAYS!!! to Amazing Me. I knew it. I just knew you would pass….

    xxoo



  320.  #320Lilybelly on October 15, 2011 at 9:00 am

    272:

    I loved this, GingerSky.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Lil



  321.  #321Lilybelly on October 15, 2011 at 9:03 am

    AmazingME.. Pardon me…

    RN Amazingme!!!!

    WHOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Nicely done!! You are now officially an even bigger commodity, sister! Go get ’em!!!



  322.  #322Mel on October 15, 2011 at 10:24 am

    So, so cute! Friendly neighbor man left me a note on my door (IN Spanish!!!) asking me to call him if me and the doggies wanted to go out walking with him. He doesn’t speak Spanish, but knows I do, so used google translate. Awwww! Guys are doing a lot of things lately that make me feel smiley. 😀



  323.  #323Mel on October 15, 2011 at 10:25 am

    How are ya doin’ Lilybelly? Loving your new profile pic BTW…looking good!



  324.  #324Mel on October 15, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Do guys “know” that a woman is single/available? I never got this attention when I was married… not even from my husband!

    I wonder if it’s just me being more open and inviting or if there’s some kind of “impress me” pheromone that I’m excreting and guys are responding to? I always thought I was friendly…I don’t think that’s it… So funny!



  325.  #325GingerSky on October 15, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Yay, Amazing New RN Me! Ra ra, and confetti, and hugs to you! I know that feels awesome. You are beautiful, polished, intelligent, full of personality and more. Keep us posted on how it all goes from here! xo!



  326.  #326GingerSky on October 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    #313 SLV Glad my little lesson is helpful!

    I say it’s good you got lavender first… it’s the most basic, needful, multi-applicable oil, and the best to start out with for anyone… even for a man, since it’s good for cuts, scrapes, burns, colds, flu, bacterial issues, and so much more. It’s first aid and often the only aid needed.

    I use Aura Cacia a lot… in the annals of e-oils, it’s not a star, not entirely pure or high-frequency (in France, e-oil land, they have a good national rating system called AFNOR. As far as I know, YL if the only brand in US that gives an AFNOR rating on any oils it can). But AC is effective, affordable and easy to find in most cities. It’s the common workhorse brand of the US I’d say.

    I wonder does your Whole Foods have a full line of AC… ? Enjoy your oils…

    …and always be sure to drink LOTS of water, and use as LITTLE e-oil as possible… they are all dehydrating to the body, as well as many being detoxing — much water is required, and LESS IS MORE when it comes to how oils are effective in the body!

    (In the first 20 seconds, an e-oil breathed-in or esp applied to the skin can ve found in every cell in the body, according to tests. Wow. Some see e-oils as one of the last tangible links between energy and matter, before energy becomes intangible… they are so amazing.)



  327.  #327GingerSky on October 15, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Oops, I meant to say 20 minutes, not 20 seconds.

    Still amazing.



  328.  #328GingerSky on October 15, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    #301 EW I’d encourage you to use something, anything, besides an oil burner. Heating the oild destroys their components and properties… they are steam distilled inmost cases, so can remain stable if left in your car on a hot summer day, but the burners send out a burned version the scent whilst killing off the healing properties.

    Diffusers are better, with vibration-diffusers being ideal. Also good are the little cold-steam vaporizer thingys at some health or spa stores. Next best is the air-spray atomizer botle with oils in water w a drop of natural liquid soap, that I described to you earlier.

    Burning is only good for incense, or sage & other hwole herbs you “smudge” with.

    Gotta go… lots to do… much stress here… hoping to not wind up w no housing soon omg… prayers appreciated… back later, probably tomorrow. Hugs to all!



  329.  #329GingerSky on October 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    #290 confusion This is EXACTLY what NSM does, all the time! It is impossible I tell you, impossible to deal with. Leaves me feeling damned if I lean back, and damned if I lean forward, leaving me NO PLACE to stand, no room to breathe, no chance to relax etc. He’s always testing everyone while keeping himslef in a leaned-back and blameless power seat position.

    This is what we’re arguing about today actually.

    I think it’s some kind of disorder, like attachment disorder or narcissism or something… and no judgment on disorders, we probably all have some degree of something like that, but you’ve got to want to get past it, and stop finding fault and blame in everyone else while acting like you do no wrong.

    I am coming to the conclusion that there’s just no way to connect with a person like this. I wish I had answers. All I can see to do with such a man is walk away… and I can’t bc my housing etc is dependent on him right now and I have nowhere else to go. Embarassing, scary, and more.

    Is there an essential oil for this?



  330.  #330Lilybelly on October 15, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    322:

    Mel~

    I’m doing. Thanks about the pic…I never dig the photographs of myself so this one is perfect. 😉 Makes me giggle and is totally my sense of humor. ol

    Wanna send me down some of whatever you it is you got going on? Girl, you are on fire!!



  331.  #331English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 3:15 pm


  332.  #332Ariadne on October 15, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    RN AMAZING ME!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! YOU WILL BE AN AN AMAZING AND SIRENY RN!!!! JUST MAKE SURE THE HEART PATIENTS CAN HANDLE IT! LOL! XO A



  333.  #333R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Emerson and English Woman I am catching up!! Thanks 🙂



  334.  #334R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    @331 Thanks A!!! LMAO



  335.  #335R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    @324 Thanks Ginger!! XOXO



  336.  #336Izzy on October 15, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    It’s Saturday night and I’d rather stay home alone watching a movie than spending time with my boyfriend. But how do I tell him that?



  337.  #337R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    LilyBelly AWWW Thanks!!!



  338.  #338R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    …..and Tinque! I am just going to say thank you to all you amazing sirens you give me tears and I loved sharing this moment of my life with you all! I am going to keep u posted!!



  339.  #339R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    @330 ahhh EW I love that it gives me goosebumps!! Now that is AMAZING!!!! 🙂



  340.  #340R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    A matter of fact I think I am gonna snuggle up and watch it tonight 🙂 The NoteBook!! Live my love life through the romantic movies!!!



  341.  #341alias girl on October 15, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    331 ariadne lol.



  342.  #342LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Here are the beautiful wedding pix I was referring to (the wedding I went to 2 weeks ago):

    http://www.momentsphotography.ca/darkroom/proof/?client/isnookandalgaonkar



  343.  #343Daria on October 15, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    im feeling sad…

    i love my sadness

    that feels like sigh

    i love my sighing

    that feels like

    smile

    i love my smiling

    that feels like pinching at teh left base of my spine

    i love the pinching at teh left base of my spine

    that feels like pressure under my ribs

    i love the pressure under my ribs

    that feels like hehehehe

    i love my hehehehe

    that feels like tingling under my nose

    i love the tingling under my nose

    that feels like yawn

    i love my yawn

    that feels like blankness

    i love my blankness

    that feels like pinching under my ribs

    i love the pinching under my ribs

    that feels like half ywan

    i love my half ywan

    that feels like

    heart pumps

    i love my heart pumps



  344.  #344Mel on October 15, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    I met Brazilian soccer cutie today. He is quite exotic and yummy, but surprisingly dull. Could be the communication barrier. His English is okay, but not great. When I lived in Mexico, I found I lost a lot of my personality simply because I wasn’t able to express myself as well in Spanish. I wonder if people found me dull too?

    Now I’m at home and painting my place. One wall in robin’s egg blue and the others in sand… it looks soooo pretty! I also picked up a really soft yellow for the kitchen. I’m pleased with my color selection! I loved decorating my siren’s lair. It will look so soft and inviting and feminine when I’m done. This is a really cool thing about being single. I can just do whatever I want without consulting with ANYBODY! Love it!

    Still no firmed-up plans for tomorrow with sexysarcastic. We were “supposed” to go for a drive to a small town bazaar in the country. I’m curious if he will come through. He’s turned into quite the flake. Did he not think he should see what time I was available tomorrow? Or if I wanted to be picked up? Or even if I still wanted to go? Whatever. I’m feeling kinda bored and annoyed of his antics. In a way I almost don’t care if he takes me out tomorrow. Curious… but not wishing with every ounce of my being (as before). If we don’t go, I can finish up my painting. I’m having fun with that.

    How are all you sirens doing this fine evening?



  345.  #345R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    @341 I cannot see them I went to the link….Try again!!



  346.  #346Daria on October 15, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    Lili – love the wedding photos!!



  347.  #347Daria on October 15, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    AmazingMe – for the wedding photos I went to the righthandside wher it said a. instructions, and then selected b.bridal house, c.groomhouse

    etc. it still took a lil while for the thumbnails to load, I then put the cursor over each thumbnail for the pic to show up



  348.  #348R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Thanks Daria okay



  349.  #349R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    The wedding photos are amazing, wow! Love the jewels!!! WOWOWOW



  350.  #350LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    341:

    Click on the scroll bar at the top righthand corner then pic the theme, and the photos will appear in small. Just scroll over them and they will appear in larger size on the left.

    The pix were made available only today after 2 long weeks of wait. I cried when I saw them. This is a woman full of soft love. She always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.

    She’s been trough so much to get to the right man. I’ve seen her through a broken engagement; then she got dumped by who she was sure was her soulmate for another woman; she disappointed her family by breaking up w a man they all loved…Look at her now.
    Her new husband is the son of my co-worker. I saw his pic in my colleague’s office, and I saw the warm and soft look in his eyes, the loving expression on his face, and I just knew he was for her.
    I called her to get her to meet him, and she didn’t want to, bc she had fallen in love with herself and her life…she didn’t want to lose that.
    She gave in, and found the man that supports her through everything she wants to do in life and honours all the love she has to give. She is so filled w love that she has a lot of it to give. She even speaks in FMs to people she can’t stand. She has so many people around her that shower her w love. Her new inlaws adore her.
    I was so blessed to have spent that day w them to witness and soak in all the love and warmth in the atmosphere.

    I have been filled w love ever since, and feel so detached. I was worried about my detachment, worried that it may mean that I lost touch w my feelings. But it’s the opposite, I am so filled w love and open to the possibilities. Being detached only means I now have the space to receive. I still feel the love, but leaving the space open to whoever will really want to be there in that loving space w me.
    That’s what my feeling detached really feels like, it doesn’t feel like I don’t care, it rather feels like I care more about myself.

    If this bride could turn her life around…SO CAN WE. I have witnessed her coming from soooo far. I’m in awww when I look at her.



  351.  #351R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    @341 Lili -Are u in these??



  352.  #352R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    @349 Love that love story!!! Yay you matchmaker!!



  353.  #353LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    350:
    Look in “ceremony” , I’m the lady w the black glasses and fuschia dress speaking in the microphone.



  354.  #354LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Oops, not in “ceremony”, but rather in “reception”.



  355.  #355LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    My dress was fuschia, but in the pix it looks more like purple.



  356.  #356R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Lili you are so adorable!!!



  357.  #357R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    You look so innocent..lol! Beautiful siren!! XOXO



  358.  #358LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Aww gosh thanx RN AmazingMe. 😉



  359.  #359Mel on October 15, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    So pretty Lili!



  360.  #360LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    Too bad I had to hide the eyes w the glasses. I usually wear contacts, but my sinus were too stuffy that day. When my sinuses are stuffy, the contacts make my eyes swell up.



  361.  #361LILI 41 on October 15, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Phyllis’ program looks like it would be really good for me, but darn I can’t afford it. 🙁
    I need to get my car brakes changed.

    Anyway, I went to the mall today and bought me some new sexy undies and a sweater for the cold weather coming our way in Canuckland…and a sexy red blouse for going on a date 😉



  362.  #362Daria on October 15, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    when i called a girl i was hanging out with at og’s house before i left, i didn’t really feel all connected and comfortable

    and i felt kinda uncomfortable when i talked to my friend too, og’s nephew

    and i feel kinda uncomfortable to call my og friend now

    it just felt kinda disconnected and lonely

    and i feel like … sigh…

    oh no, not overhwleming, soulless, unbeautiful loneliness.. again

    pft

    and thats ok

    thank you beautiful mind

    thank you beautiful soul

    and i feel afraid of it feeling cold

    sigh

    and me feeling bad

    and i know i have lots of ways to keep warm like my super warm SUPER outfit

    and i feel sad in my heart that that one guy moved away WITH MY RAINCOAT

    my beautiful unique shiny purple harry potter raincoat

    i love me

    and im feeling scared, that ill want to connect and be seen so bad ill be stepping all over my heart, and hanging out with guys unlike my boundaries

    cuz being at home will feel bad, and ill feel isolated and unaccepted and uncomfortable around my dad

    sigh

    and who knows if i’ll even talk to hawkman

    i haven’t heard from him in weeks

    maybe he’s dead

    oh that feels scary

    this other guy i knew got killed and i felt surprised i was thinking about him a few days ago

    he helped me out with my car and bought some cameras from me and it was a big deal to me back then, that someone would hlep me with my hustle like that

    and i want to change my mind to not see me and them, he got killed, ‘opression’ and it feels overhwhelming

    and scary

    i believe that if i think this way than all those oppressive forces will be attracted to me cuz they will feel it in my energy

    and i don’t want that

    maybe its not even true!

    and i know to heal it is to not defend it

    like the trick is not to go to resistance or revenge at all, its like once you fight back you already lost cuz you’re fighting

    ack

    pfftt

    and i feel so powerless

    and i keep on falling into those thoughts

    and i feel scared, like even the orishas may have no power or else how come so many horrible things happened to people who likely believed

    and the horrible stuff i do read happeneing and its like

    overwheming

    dear world i would like to heal me and i would like to heal you and you are me so i would like to heal me

    pffft

    and i feel a lil tired and sleepy

    watiing for my videos to load

    what man will want to be with me and help me with my home births and home raising children with attention to natrualness happinessa nd depth of spiritualness

    AND be free

    when it looks like, from this belief system i HAVE and i feel UGH angry and defiant cuz my Parents TOLD ME

    that by assoicating with people you become like them and i dindt want to believe it and it mostly wasnt true

    but it seems it was true cuz i picked up on this resonant belief taht is felt in my aura so now im scared they want to lock me up too, they will think its ok to violate and step on me too

    and theres that “they’ in my thinking again thanks for noticing

    and maybe this is older, maybe i came with this from the perceptions fo my family

    from the worldview i was born in

    and from hudnereds and thousands of years back

    and i feel overwhelmed

    AND yesterday i tried to change my belief system and kjapouf

    evrything settled back down to pretty much the way it was before

    i DID get a glimpse of free thinking though and that felt exciting so things ARE Changing

    so amybe i have to do those stretches and do the enrgy releases but BOY it feels embarassing to do that work with a man – that therapist and it feels kinda scary and overwhleming too

    sigh

    im only in this world with thse thoughts and im really unconsequential

    and in a way that absolves me of responsibility cuz i can just run away from the opressive forces and go hide in the woods and live ther

    and maybe my future progeny will esceape them too or not

    or “them thinking” again

    ooops

    i tried to shift my thinking but i only got that glimpse

    i made my rap about crystal bitch teeth and that was cool

    i feel disappointed and a bit scared to go there again

    i thought i would STAY there and then i didnt and then i fell back

    and its ok

    im saying its ok and i totally dont beieve it

    and im gonna practice saying that bullhshit anyway

    its ok

    i love me

    this is total busllshit

    and i love my total bullshit self

    my friends get killed

    and it seems like no one sees or cares

    or if they see or care

    they have picked “it” up in their vibe too and then they “get it”

    and they’re targets too

    YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW

    if you know, hide it

    cuz if “they” can tell you know, you will go down

    so it would have been better for you to stay away from those people who are victims you stupid hardheaded little girl

    now you “know” and we have to hide it, so they don’t come for you

    that sounds like a horror movie huh

    this has to be energies of that Era too though

    i mean it really sounds like it doesnt it

    and i feel so angry and resentful at the poeple who “don’t know”

    they just judge bad and assume

    and what am i doing,

    am i judging “them” as bad

    no i guess i just judge them as sucj ir scared’

    scared people trying to control

    i dont want to feel helpless in front of these scared people

    if i learn martial arts so i can win physically i will just get gunned down instead

    there is no wininng against the forces of evil

    there is no evil

    it is only in my head

    at least i know there is no evil

    that is very good for me

    i know a lot of wise stuff

    i feel really uncomfortable with feeling powerless

    like with the belief change stuff

    im like ack

    i want to keep on feeling that way

    all you have to do is the stretchs and then do the past life releases

    ok the past life releases are the reliving of past life experiences where you got raped tortured abused and KILLED

    yeah

    and then you say each statement and energy that the people who abused you said TO you while they were beating you and you were in a trauma state and it went into your body and

    now its manifesting in this world and attracting similar stuff to it like beatings and etc

    and its in your tissues

    and working through one of those situations was wll

    traumatic in itself

    thats why im like, i dont know if i want to work thru this with aman, cuz well its a lil too intense

    maybe theres a agentle way to work thru this

    or maybe there isnt

    i mean i DID feel really like wow about myself like i actually lived a real life swrod fighting adventure out the book type thing

    it kinda had me feelinga ll sad weird wacko for a few days

    tho

    so maybe i just traumatized myself doing it

    i dono

    but i feel kinda worried to do it again

    esp cuz the other ones that came up for me wher like stuff of feeilng sexually abused

    and even like tortured while tied to some wall type thing

    anyway it felt kinda uncomfortable and embarassing to work thru that with a man

    im like geez

    pfffttt

    and then just working thru it myself i did do some but i didnt really have that much patientce to just thoroughly work it out

    i probably did a good job tho

    i bet i have a lot of ish going on anyway to wrok out

    omg it all feels overwhelming

    maybe that it IS so damn intense gives some reassurance to warrior me that I AM doing something, that its powerful, its working, and im brave

    sigh

    do you want to be medicine woman or not

    then you will face all the horriblest things you can imagine and when youre done you will be superhero free

    doesnt that sound like a man though?

    it hink so some

    i mean look at Rori’s stuff

    its all about gentle, not really have to

    not realy have to look at the traumas, just keep on with the practice, gently keep on adding love

    thats like the wise woman susun weed herb way too

    just keep adding nourishment and health, dance with and around and embrace anything

    no need for heroics

    no need for braving and killing the dragon

    the dragon is YOU!!

    pfttt

    thank you beautiful mind

    thank you for running all these thoughts for me

    i bet all i gotta do is do the stretches

    and it will work itself out

    i am a woman after all

    i bleed

    i bleed magic

    i give birth

    that is heroicer than heroic and i dont have to DO anything

    just soft pushes and breathing and relaxing, lots of that

    yah

    i can do the stretches cuz they FEEL like heaven

    and the trauma energies will naturally work themselves out

    and the belief change shifts will be ok to shift

    and the fear that it won’t that it won’t workout

    is ok

    its not that man’s fault

    i felt scared believing what he told me and

    he is just a man

    it may be unfair

    but he is still just a man

    he does not give birth

    yes unfair

    he still does not give birth tho

    he wanted to help me

    i bet he DID help me by scaring me like that

    he got me shfiting and moving and stirring stirring my pot

    i can heal this

    i am a big woman

    i am ISIS from the muzeum today

    thank you for taking me there

    i am the SERPENT GLYKON

    i wind in glding knots, unfurling and folding and waving and seducing

    it is easy for me, cuz i am woman

    clap clap clap clap clap my hands

    clap clap clap clalp clap my hands softly

    what is the purpose of men

    is it just to love me

    what can i how can i stir in their competitive ness

    how can i use them in my pot

    give give give to me

    is that what their purpose is

    is that why they kep on fighting

    they want to be received

    they dont feel received and they just get so ANGRY and frustrated

    hmmm

    i am the serpent glykon

    i lay beautiful eggs

    i found the wave of my spiral today

    its all about the stretching

    to so much about the pushing

    the pushing will come naturally

    i will want to push

    when its time to push

    and then gently push

    and it will feel good

    mmmffff

    do the stretches

    they are the gift

    the gift of your body is

    the way your body will heal you

    no need to think or try hard

    no need to believe any man

    I trust Elegua

    he is my hero

    they say he’s a trickster

    and i feel safe with him

    i trust him fully

    he is my man

    elegua the crossroads maker

    the big dick fool

    the lil child old man doesnt care about bing a king cuz he likes sleeping in the open

    how come elegua never gets locked up?

    elegua is too smart for that he is too free he is too slippery

    elegua knows everything ahead of time

    he is wise

    like hecate the woman

    elegua i feel good when you hold my hand



  363.  #363FlowerChild77 on October 15, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    I’m way behind on the blog…my life is super busy and I’m pretty darn happy, but I need a little help with some feeling messages.

    I’ve been “studying” Rori and Tinque and reading and practicing my Siren tools in all areas of my life and things are great, for the most part. I have a beautiful diamond ring and plans to marry…but I’m nervous about it….

    The problem? His behavior has changed. Even my ‘best’ feeling messages make him defensive and I feel like I have to quickly “avoid” a fight after I say something. I feel like now that he has this “all wrapped up” that he thinks he doesn’t have to try any more.

    Also, I’m realizing what a negative person he is sometimes and I really don’t like it.

    I guess I need to hear about dealing with triggers. I understand about things triggering us in a new person (the original trigger being from somewhere in our past)—but can someone talk to me about dealing with it when it’s the same behavior from the same person?

    I’ve already told him that I can’t/won’t go “back” in any way. I have changed—-and he has changed also–but I am noticing things that still bother me.

    I know this all sounds bad….there is still a lot of good, but now that I have a better relationship with my inner ‘me’, it’s telling me there are some things I am not comfortable with and don’t want to deal with day after day. I need a Siren pep-talk…



  364.  #364Daria on October 15, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    okay u gotta give it to me

    if my purpose is to heal my ancestral line

    i am doing REALLY REALLY Good huh ancestors

    i am 29 years old an di have WISDOM

    and i have my FOOLISHNESS

    and i have LOVE MAGIC

    and im learning learning learning like Flamanzila ate food

    i am focused without focus

    i am attentive to me

    i am BRAVE and curious with my radical plans and ideas

    i am DOING MY JOB

    and if I don’t have children, am i having an impacact on the world around me?

    thers no telling

    but i am writing this book of my wisdeom, right here

    so they can read it like the bible huh

    and ive taken beautiful pictures of me

    and im HERE

    i don’t have to propaganda myself

    i just be myself and speak myself

    i wonder if jes*us wondered how he can best market himself and get mor people to follow him

    or maybe he was like just doing him and people followed him

    oh yes i know he liked to do miracles and enjoy his life and he did talk when people would listen

    i like to do miracles too

    i like doing healings and i like partying and i like showing off

    i am doing a great job being alive

    clap clap clap

    i am healing my DNA i intend to heal my DNA

    how come my parents didnt do these things

    they had other roles and other soul purposes?

    why

    i feel scared

    why do i think i am just all that then

    did they think they were all that?

    it doesnt matter

    ?

    i LOVE my parents

    i want to help thm heal

    I AM helping them heal?

    hmmff

    so they wont be more impressed if i created unlimited money?

    remember when jes*us made lots of fish for people to eat?

    isnt that pretty much the same thing?

    i mean just the security of always having food

    or walking on water, the security of being safe from death

    and he got killed ack!!!

    WHY DID HE DO THATTTTTTT

    ugh

    it seems like he wanted to show that no matter what you can’t beat the system

    well he didnt want to show that

    but im just saying

    that sure resonates with athat belief

    and then he wanted to show death is not the end of things

    when he came back

    and

    pffff

    it all feels confusing

    I WANT LIFE TO FEEL EASY!

    i don’t want to feelk like armies are looking for me and my man to torture and kill us

    i feel pist for having created it this WAY

    RARRRRGGGHHH

    we’re supp[osed to LEARN HERE?

    everyone knows now you learn by feeling supported and loved

    so that’s what we were supposed to learn im just sayin

    it feels TOO OVERWHELMING

    i don’t like feeling this powerless

    i want to feel powrful , like a Goddess

    and no, i don’t want to feel lonely, like i’m playing chess with myself

    i want to feel HEAVEN

    you know

    what im talking about

    that life whn it feels love for everyone and not worried that someone will go psycho and rape and muder me when i walk the street

    and not worrie dthat someone will come and spear my child on a stick

    AND on top of that we kill and eat plants

    RRARRGHH

    ok so im supposed to learn death doesn’t matter

    then pain doesnt mater

    so what is the purpose of compassion then

    clap clap clap clap calpclap calp

    i feel confused

    i am supposed to Like being confused

    it is the state from which beautiful things come

    or ugly things? scary!

    i am supposed to Like giving birth

    i KNOW it will bring forth huge love that is so worth feeling the pain for huh

    well not ‘supposed to’

    but i CAN

    i can like feeling confused

    yes!

    like i know the pond will clear

    and just TRUST

    i can TRUST

    ugh

    what about all the horrible overwhelming humiliating things that come to mind to scare me

    i know if i was there i woudl trust

    there is just no reason not to trust

    so trust is just the option that feels good

    there IS NO way to SET IT

    cuz i am creating it!

    and so if i TRUST i can create it good!

    and what if it creates bad?

    it i sok, it must still be confused

    keep creating good

    sigh!

    its like tricking myself.

    i really Don’t know,

    so i choose to believe in good cuz i know good is coming sometime, and it kinda pacifies me meanwhile

    and….

    that IS the choice i have

    and on top of that,

    i CREATE

    i am not lost in a soulless universe like the existentialists thought

    and even if i was, and theyre like odnt trust, cuz its not TRUE

    well what if i TRUST then it seems true right, and its all seeming

    so i choose the seeming and the perceiving that feels good?

    like oh objects dont really have color they are grey, you are just THINKING they have color

    well DANG I MEAN

    it feels good for them to have color you know, so what IF i perceive them as color,

    you ar not being TRUE

    no there is no TRUE

    there is just what i perceive

    an d I CAN CHOOSE what i perceive and i perceive GOOD i choose to

    and i CREATE

    that IS my creation i am in charge of creating for me and i am a molecule

    i want to vibrate at HEAVEN level

    i intend to vibrate at heaven level and all spirits that want to help me THANK YOU

    i allow the help even though i feel terrified

    and im intending heaven so i want to feel good and how about comfortable on my way ther

    i dont get being a man

    why dont we have asexual reproduction

    they dont want to be comfortable

    they want to b challenged

    they want to compete

    and they want to hurt and agress and kill

    how is that helpful to heavenly living

    ok they dont want to hurt

    they want to help

    and they want to

    well they want to help

    is that all they want

    they want to be acknowledged and seen and recognized

    u know all that stuff about competing

    hmmm

    pfffftttt

    why do i need their help

    i dont need their help

    but it sure feels nice to have help

    isnt that nice?

    well not really

    i feel guilty like im having a slave or something

    no no this is someone who Wants to help u

    dont they care about themselves too?

    they are fulfilled in wanting to hlep you

    ok so – well i feel angry for the world feeling all scary and its seems its their fault

    its not their fault

    they are big helpful creatures like bears

    like bears

    bears are wise and comfortable

    i feel really mad at them

    i feel mad at them about the earth

    and i feel mad at the aliens

    we can heal earth

    we can embrace everything

    even aliens

    we are healing

    we are a planet of health

    we are planet of heaven

    who do things not feel like heaven

    things do feel like heaven

    just learning to choose the energies

    and people starving?

    just learning to choose the energies

    we dont die

    we live lots and lots of times

    how come our energies are directed towards not dying then,

    not harming, not getting ill

    not getting in accidents

    close but no cigar

    energies are not for not dying

    when in heaven, no need for dying

    no need for replenishment, natural replenishment

    direct energies toward choosing heavenly energies

    natually no agression

    naturally healing

    not about dying

    dying side effect

    no harming side effect

    direct energies toward heaven

    these things side effect

    dont want these things is middle man to want heaven

    it seems dishonoring of starving people to say they not choosing the right energies

    people infinite power

    they not choosing right energies

    starving just like dead baby or old sad woman

    not choosing energies

    choose heaven energy

    get to heaven

    those things side effect of heaven

    you want heaven

    hmmfff

    ok i get it

    so how to choose right energies

    choose thoughts

    choose feeling good

    feeling good is heaven

    what about those scary stories of people feeling good and just dying next to the feel good box

    scary!!!

    if feel good kills you, its ok

    there is no dying

    remember jes*us?

    he show there is no dying

    talk to ancestors

    they are dead

    there is no dying

    pffft

    this is hard

    it is not hard

    but it is not easy

    feels good that you intend

    i intend to live heavenly

    pft

    i feel lonely

    and i feel tired

    and i feel pinched under my rib

    and i want to feel good!!!

    you can do stretching!

    you can do sleeping

    you can do sleeping and THEN do stretching

    you can do EFT for rivers

    you are beatufiul

    you are the Serpent Glykon

    you are amazing woman!

    you are our beautiful Goddess

    !!!

    wow thank you

    i feel lonely being a goddess

    it makes me think im above otther people

    shake head

    Goddesses and Gods are not above

    they are on earth they are in earth

    they are where they want to be

    Earth loves you

    Earth says yum when your feet touch

    Earth is your MUM

    earth loves your pretty feet

    earth wants to eat you!

    i feel scared!

    i dont want to die

    there is no death

    and we know you don’t want to die

    and are still scared of death

    you don’t have to die

    earth i dont want to be eaten

    earth i love you

    oki will not eat you now

    i will eat you later when you ask me to

    ok

    thank u

    i feel tired

    i STILL feel lonely

    i don’t feel trusting of earth

    she is so big

    she doesn’t ‘get’ me

    and feeling afraid of dying

    you push hard

    you will want to die

    pfft

    i feel angry at yall

    i dont feel reassured

    i just feel a lil bit scared and not joyous!

    what is joyful now daughter

    beautiufl Godess

    Elegua flirting with me

    computer writing

    sigh in my body

    being ME the woman I called Daria for a long time

    having a name like Daria

    thinking about being seen and admired and feeilng hot inside

    and sex

    🙂

    you humans love sex

    you used to love sex too

    we still love sex

    pfff

    is it worth it?

    all the pain?

    maybe

    pfft

    it makes L
    ove

    more

    than dividing

    is just

    one clan separte

    this touches and mixes

    i love making love

    okay

    i feel tired of thinking

    thank you so much

    for helping me with my thoughts

    i want to feel good now

    i want my heart to feel good
    ……

    its my body!!!!

    it feels unstretched

    it feels unhappy!

    oh i love you body!



  365.  #365Daria on October 15, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    thank you Daria for doing some stretching for me!

    omg i feel refilled with joy some now!



  366.  #366Daria on October 15, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    my parents must be amazing to have a daughter lik me

    their path must be very intense too to have no control over me and my mind and love me while wanting to feel secure

    oh wow

    that would feel so challenging for me omgosh

    i feel sad for them

    they are strong they are healing

    we are healing

    i am healing

    definitely will be doing the stretching

    thank you all of me



  367.  #367R.N.AmazingMe on October 15, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Have a tattoo of Japanese Kanji on my neck that means courage and beauty so looking at tattoos for a symbol of medicine.. 🙂 Exciting



  368.  #368English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    #341 LILI

    That link doesn’t work for me. 🙁

    Is it because I am not in the USA?



  369.  #369English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    OOops just followed further instructions and I can now see a beautiful Indian wedding, gotta love all those jewel coloured sari’s though I can’t figure out who is LILI, doesn’t matter you all look just lovely. 🙂



  370.  #370English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Finally I worked it out!! Oh LILI you are so pretty! 🙂



  371.  #371English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 7:59 pm


  372.  #372English Woman on October 15, 2011 at 8:01 pm


  373.  #373Daria on October 15, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    ok so mabye someone made up the glycon serpent

    she looked magical to me and it felt fascinating

    i know goddesses loved snakes

    it came thru for me, a goddess in disguise

    i see u



  374.  #374alias girl on October 15, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    so the guy who was SO into me. then immediately said Later when i said i was dating

    is now hitting me up saying he’s “thought things over.”

    i’m like

    “good for you.”

    whatever.

    i cant help it but he feels like a p*ssy.

    and then he asked if he could call and i said

    “not now i am busy chillin”

    and then he said

    “okeydokey when can i call?”

    i cant deal with people.

    98% of the people i meet annoy the crap out of me.

    not really but i swear it feels like that sometimes

    this stupid island annoys me too.

    stupid.



  375.  #375alias girl on October 15, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    ok i just emailed that i feel angry and annoyed.

    finally some feeling messages rather than passive aggressive anger and avoidance and flippant eff you style communication.

    ugh now he’s calling me



  376.  #376alias girl on October 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    i didnt email. i meant to write texted.

    i dont think it is a crucial element to the story though.

    bottom line.,

    i dont believe i will ever find anyone or that i am capable of giving up my life of aloneness to give people a chance.’

    i am basically giving up.

    that is the bottom line of this

    not whether i emailed or texted



  377.  #377alias girl on October 15, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    i did however successfully accomplish false lashes today!

    superfun!

    and then i was workin on music.

    and then i got carried away with the lashes and the makeup and then i put on fake diamond earrings and a purple wig.

    and then i went to the supermarket for eggs and bananas.

    i so rock.

    how is it possible i am still single?



  378.  #378alias girl on October 15, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    sarcasm in case you didnt quite get it.

    i mean HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?

    with my honed skills of sarcasm

    and my underriding feelings of disdain

    how is it POSSIBLE that i am still single?



  379.  #379alias girl lol lol lol on October 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    the fake eyelashes make up for bad attitude though,

    i have seen this on tv.

    the eyelashes alone will increase the number of men interested in me



  380.  #380Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 3:39 am

    @325 @327 Gingersky
    Thanks for your reply. My Whole Foods has about 20 or so oils in that line and other lines as well. I’ll be trying a few little by little. I’m going to look for those diffusers too!

    Tinque has also given me some sourcing and usage info. Did you know that she has been a licensed aesthetician for about twenty years? She gives good tips on nutrition also.

    @Gingersky says:
    “All I can see to do with such a man is walk away… and I can’t bc my housing etc is dependent on him right now and I have nowhere else to go. Embarassing, scary, and more…
    …Is there an essential oil for this?”

    Yes, the oil of feminine fortitude. We “do what we have to do” and becoming independent of this man regarding your housing will make it easier to “lean back.” Replace the “nowhere else to go” story in your mind with “there are lots of places to go and other kinds of agreements to make and I will find some for myself.”

    Hugs. There is no reason to become, as Rori calls it, a “doormat puppy dog.”

    Rori Raye: “Are You His Doormat Puppy Dog?”
    https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/are-you-his-doormat-puppy-dog/

    xoxo



  381.  #381Aurora Girl on October 16, 2011 at 3:46 am

    Good morning Chickies…

    it’s been so warm and sunny here the past few weeks and the colours have been glorious with autumn here…..the last day or so however mother nature has stirred things up with cloud and wind and rain…I feel a strong energy…..power outages…..howling wind swaying the trees…..quite fun…..and this morning it is quiet……..mother nature never fails to surprise 🙂 she is so dynamic…just like relationships and life….reminds me of Rori’s thoughts when strong feelings come and go….just ride them out…..feel them and sit with them…..it’s all good.

    Quick update on my LD incase anyone was curious…I do appreciate the posts on the blog and continue to learn from them even though I’m not on as much…..LD continues to surprise me with how much of a Mr. Right he is……example….this morning’s lovely good morning email started with “Good morning beautiful goddess”……honest it did! All of Rori’s tools keep moving things along in a good way…and I feel blessed to keep them close to help with new feelings, reminders for me to lean back……use feeling messages…….they help me stay centred……and help me watch when I start to sabotage if I do because of past hurts….I ‘m not doing that so much and avoiding a lot of uneccessary drama…..yay!

    my thoughts are with you on the blog…..good things happening for all of us ans a full grand beautiful big universe here to support us in all of it!

    xo 🙂



  382.  #382Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 3:54 am

    @360: LILI 41 says:
    “Phyllis’ program looks like it would be really good for me, but darn I can’t afford it…”

    Until you’re ready for the program you want, you could use the link I posted @#169 for the freebie. I believe you would find it helpful.

    😀

    xoxo



  383.  #383English Woman on October 16, 2011 at 4:16 am

    #327 Ginger Sky

    Thank you for your post though I don’t know what a diffuser is I will find out and yesterday I bought the most wonderful silver coloured oil burner, like all crackly silver/black glass the make is Yankee Candle and I probably paid twice what you would in the USA. 🙁 I am now burning my oils but the smell is not very strong and I bought the oils at the market and I am thinking they are not very good quality.

    Do any of the English sirens know where I can buy good quality oils?



  384.  #384English Woman on October 16, 2011 at 4:18 am

    #380 Aurora Girl

    Lovely post and it’s good to know things are still going well with LD and how perceptive of him to call you a goddess. 🙂



  385.  #385Ella on October 16, 2011 at 4:32 am

    Hey Sirens,

    Feeling very tired and a little bit hugover today.

    I need to get moving as have some work to do… I know once I have a shower I will feel better and yet it feels hard work to get motivated.

    CD2 hasn’t called yet to confirm our plans. He said he
    would call this morning to confirm times etc…

    Hmph, feeling slightly annoyed.

    I wonder at what point I will make other plans… or whether to say anything or not.

    Hmm, step one, have shower…



  386.  #386Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 4:49 am

    I will work some magic today. There are good signs everywhere:

    I’ve located magical chicken gumbo soup! Two brands, including the original Campbell brand but with recently yuppifed recipe (now “light” w/ Mediterranean sea salt…?)

    Also, when I counted soulmate rings this week, there were 51 instead of the 52 I thought I had (odd…) but that gave me opportunity to buy another … and surprise it was an usual one, pale green stones and it looks like a shamrock (in my mind anyway.) I’m feeling very good about this…

    😀
    xoxo



  387.  #387Mel on October 16, 2011 at 5:35 am

    Ugh. Just got word from sexysarcastic that he’s up at his cottage and won’t be “around” today. Therefore no date. This is how I responded, already done so there’s no going back. I feel a little vulnerable about it, but really… he either likes me or he doesn’t. Keep in mind he’s cancelled THREE dates in the past 2 weeks.

    Me: I feel a little dense… like maybe I’m missing something. Like I’m not catching on. And I also feel disappointed. I have a plan B… but plan b’s are never as fun. ya know?

    Him: speech about being tired, needing to relax, being over-booked.

    Me: I understand. And yet… I’m left with this icky feeling. I feel like I’m chasing after you and I feel out of sorts doing that. Feels bad. And I’m not sure what to do about it.

    Him: I’m not trying to be hard to catch… blah blah blah. I should be more straight-shooting.

    Me: Straight-shooting is good. Appreciated, even.

    Me: So here’s the thing. IF you’re interested in getting together in the near future, I’d likely accept. But I’m going to leave that up to you. Feels better that way.

    Him: Understood. Sorry for bailing and being flaky.

    Me. Ok.

    ________

    Blah… so now FOR SURE there shall be NO leaning forward. No texts, emails, no ANYTHING from me. He will either step up… or he wont. Not a thing I can do to convince him.

    I feel so vulnerable, because I HOPE he will… but I have sort of accepted that he may not. Feeling a little sad about that… Sigh. Babysteps. Perhaps he’s just meant to teach me something!



  388.  #388Mel on October 16, 2011 at 5:44 am

    On a positive note… Dirty texter asked how I was feeling and I said “kinda sad because a friend cancelled on me AGAIN.”

    He asked if I had a Plan B… and I said yeah, but it’s not terribly fun. And he said… well, can I take you out for breakfast and go walking by the river after? Can i be your Plan B?

    Woohoo! One Man steps down and another rushes in to take his place. That feels good!



  389.  #389Lilybelly on October 16, 2011 at 6:51 am

    386:

    Mel~ Keep doing what you’re doing. And go ahead and throw the word.. “Next!!” in there. I wouldn’t give him a second thought. More where that one came from. It is just, for me, a simple attitude adjustment that I give myself…”When *he* is the right one, there isn’t anything that will keep him from stepping up.”

    Go get *The List*, if you haven’t already. Eye opening, head smacking, AHA moments fill that book. It changed my attitude about men and relationships forever. And it also helped heal some of the past stuff..

    ~Lil



  390.  #390tinque on October 16, 2011 at 6:57 am

    Ella – hugover? I like it. You need a hugover? I’ll come over and give you a hugover? You’ve given me a new word for my made up word repertoire. Thank you.

    Sleep is good for hugovers and lots off water, and lots of hugs even if self given.

    xxoo



  391.  #391Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 6:58 am

    @387: Mel says:
    “…And he said… well, can I take you out for breakfast and go walking by the river after? Can i be your Plan B?…”

    Yes! 😀

    That’s the kind of man I like!

    xoxo



  392.  #392tinque on October 16, 2011 at 6:58 am

    SLV – You gave me one. Is this the missing one?

    xxoo



  393.  #393LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 6:59 am

    380:

    Good to hear from you Aurora Girl.

    It inspires me to witness someone else’s success w Rori’s tools, as well as how they deal w struggles.



  394.  #394Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 7:19 am

    @391: tinque says:
    “…SLV – You gave me one. Is this the missing one?..”

    No, the one I gave you was part of the first 37 and 35 fit into the tin box. I gave away another also and then collected 17 more…I thought… to make 52.

    But I’m glad I bought this last one. It was mean to be and will bring good luck!!! I think the one I gave you will bring good luck too.

    😀
    xoxo



  395.  #395Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 7:20 am

    Molly Johnson – “Rain”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtQ92kJd2R4&ob=av2e

    xoxo



  396.  #396CurvySiren10 on October 16, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Lillybelly, who wrote “The List”? There are several books with that name. Wanna make sure I get the right one. 🙂 thanks!



  397.  #397Daria on October 16, 2011 at 8:33 am

    im feeling excited and a lil tired. leaving Constanta to go to the capital, and then after tomorrow on the plane to cali

    feeling sleepy right now



  398.  #398LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 9:01 am

    386:

    “I feel so vulnerable, because I HOPE he will… but I have sort of accepted that he may not. Feeling a little sad about that… Sigh. Babysteps. Perhaps he’s just meant to teach me something!”

    That’s exactly where I’m at now. Thank you so much Mel for sharing that.

    D had stepped up for me for a few weeks. He’s been on a trip he’d been wanting to do for years since last Monday. I have not heard a word from him since he left. That triggers me, triggers my NVs, feeling sad and worried.
    I don’t really remember when he’s supposed to be back home, I think somewhere between 3am and 6 am this morning, not sure.
    I’m worried I won’t be important enough for him to call me until he has nothing else to do. I wasn’t important enough to get a phone call from him all week. eerrrgggg!!!!

    The lesson he’s there to teach me: It became clear after I watched the movie “He’s just not that into you”.
    I’ve been all of these women in that movie at some point in my life…leading up to now.

    With D, I have been so many different girls:

    1. I started out the relationship by being the girl that brushes him off and chooses the guy that is all wrong for her.

    #2. Then when it was over w the wrong man, I got together w D, but was the girl who he offered real committment to, but I was afraid to let him close and held back. He has admitted he was scared of the girl I was in #1 and that I was going to use him and leave him for someone better. He broke through that fear and stepped up in a huge way.

    #3. Then when he pulled away slightly, I turned into the needy overfunctioning girl…until I couldn’t do it anymore bc I was feeling sick & tired of feeling hurt.

    #4. Now, I am the girl spending time alone w herself to do her soulsearching. Told him – I feel, I don’t want, I want to explore my options.

    Through all of these different girls that I have been, he has stuck around. He stepped up for girl #4. While I am being #4, there’s 1 thing that he said that stuck in my head: I asked him “what do you want from me?”, and he replied “just be the natural you”. I’m getting the message that the whole time he has been acting like a jerk, he has stuck around waiting for the real me to show up. He has been w 4 different versions of a girl, and he just wants to know which 1 is the real one.

    That brings me to a choice in how I will view today’s situation:

    A. Listen to my NVs and feel miserable.

    B. See it as the positive life lesson.

    If I choose B :

    I see how he has been patient through all of my vibe shifts.
    I see how this time alone allows me to get to know and connect to the real me.
    I see how he is taking care of himself by taking time to do what he loves, to be free and to clear his mind and feel like himself, to reconnect with himself after having lost himself…from being overwhelmed with submitting himself to demands and pressure from everyone (including me).
    I see that he is claiming his own space for himself and I am claiming my own space for myself.
    I see that we are both clearing out our own spaces to make room for something new.
    I see tha I feel scared, but I want to keep that cleared space open for love.

    If D doesn’t step up, my space will be open for the one who will.



  399.  #399LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 9:13 am

    394:

    SLV, I got such a kick out of your link. I recognized all the places where she was. 🙂



  400.  #400LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 9:16 am

    @388

    Lilybelly:
    Who is the author? You have got me intrigued about that book.



  401.  #401Lilybelly on October 16, 2011 at 9:26 am

    395 and 399:

    Curvy and Lili~

    It’s written by “Mary Corbett and Sheila Corbett Kihne”

    Don’t let the subtitle scare you:”7 ways to tell if he’s going to marry you – in 30 days or less”.

    A few Siren’s have read this book as well and found it to be quite AHA-ish.

    I desire a List man. 😉



  402.  #402Lilybelly on October 16, 2011 at 9:29 am

    396:

    Safe travels, Daria.

    xoxo



  403.  #404Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 10:03 am

    @398: LILI 41 says:
    “394:
    SLV, I got such a kick out of your link. I recognized all the places where she was…”

    I’m so happy you liked it. I think the song and the singer are yummy. Tell me about the places; I’d love to know.

    😀
    xoxo



  404.  #405Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

    @398: LILI 41 says:
    “394:
    SLV, I got such a kick out of your link. I recognized all the places where she was…”

    I’m so happy you liked it. The song and the singer are yummy. Tell me about the places; I’d love to know.

    😀
    xoxo



  405.  #406Mel on October 16, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Thanks Lilybelly… I’m going to see if I can get it on my Kindle! Today’s a stay at home and read kinda day.

    Breakfast was nice. We went for about an hour walk afterwards. He’s a nice guy. But I don’t feel a whole lot for him. Perhaps it’s the ones (like sexysarcastic) where there’s instant chemistry… that are actually all wrong for me. I don’t really know what happened there, but I’m realizing that it’s probably all HIS stuff. I’ve been a good siren. Any man that actually had his act together would realize my value. 😉 That still doesn’t change the fact that I feel disappointed. I felt like he “got me.” He has substance. I had a lot of fun with him. I really enjoyed his affection. I will miss those things.

    But… feelings do shift. I’m warming up to architect (a little). Even a “perhaps bed” kinda feeling… but maybe not. 🙂 I’m on the fence. But that’s a definite change from “not bed.” LOL

    More painting today. I’m enjoying my new digs. 🙂 I’m just going to love me and give myself all that I need and want.



  406.  #407LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 10:13 am

    SLV:

    It’s old Montreal, where the 1st European settlers came and built the city.
    It’s right by the big port. Lots of old European architecture. It’s beautiful and romantic to walk around on the cobblestone streets.

    In the summer, there are artists lining the small streets, and they will do your portrait or charicature in a few minutes. Lots of restaurants where you can sit out on the terasse and admire the view.
    Lots of little shops, cafés, museums and outdoor free shows from bands and public amusers.

    It’s a very popular place for those 1st few dates.



  407.  #408Mel on October 16, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Question…

    When a guy invites you over to his place for a drink or for coffee, is it naive of me to expect that it will JUST be a drink or coffee? Is he expecting more? Have I been creating waves of disappointment all over the city? LOL



  408.  #409Susan on October 16, 2011 at 11:46 am

    RE: 210: Amazing:

    Congratulations!!! I know what a BIG deal it is to pass those tests! All those years of study would go to waste without passing that test. What a proud moment in your life! If I were there with you, I’d be high five-ing you!

    My Sweet Man’s daughter just passed her RN test too. I didn’t want to post this until after I learned you had passed, too. Now there is celebration all around!!



  409.  #410Susan on October 16, 2011 at 11:55 am

    I had a lovely weekend that began with a week of pain…. Dental pain. I had a tooth go south on me and needed antibiotics, pain meds and a root canal. In the past, I have always gotten myself to and from the dentist office for these things. Since I need nitrous gas, I’d walk around after being released from my appointment until my head cleared enough for me to drive. When I told Sweet Man what I had planned, he insisted he drive out to my place so that he could take me and pick me up from the dentist. He wanted to take care of me. Sweet Man lives roughly an hour’s drive away, so this is no small thing. It felt wonderful to be so cared for. In the 21 years I was married, I never felt THIS cared for.

    The next evening we went to a party. I didn’t drink because I was still on pain meds. We got teased a lot because Sweet Man is affectionate in public and people were calling us the ‘love birds.’ One man asked how long we had been together and I answered, “A year.” Right after that, someone on my left side started talking to me so Sweet Man and the guy who asked how long we had been together thought I couldn’t hear the finish of their conversation, but I could. Sweet Man told him that he had never been good at remembering birth dates and anniversary dates, but that our anniversary was the 29th of this month. The other man teased him about remembering this date. Sweet Man answered that he remembered the date because I was so important to him.

    It feels good to be happy.



  410.  #411Susan on October 16, 2011 at 11:57 am

    RE: 407: Mel says:

    “Question…

    When a guy invites you over to his place for a drink or for coffee, is it naive of me to expect that it will JUST be a drink or coffee? Is he expecting more? Have I been creating waves of disappointment all over the city? LOL”

    Perhaps I am cynical, but I always assumed that type of invitation was an invitation for sex.



  411.  #412Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    RE 410 I never did assume anything and sometimes ended up having the guy mad at me.



  412.  #413Mel on October 16, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    That’s what I thought….

    I wonder if this is why guys haven’t been sticking around? Could they be perceiving my not “jumping at the chance” as rejection? I had been “invited” over to sexysarcastic’s place several times. He never pushed things though… so I just assumed it was a sincere coffee request. Perhaps I am a little clueless.

    Architect invited me over for a drink the other night (I was busy so had to decline)… now I’m feeling a little nervous. Hmmm…..



  413.  #414Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    Mel this month’s interview with Rori and the man who runs eHarmony they were talking about the instant chemistry how we tend to have it with the wrong guy and how it is false chemistry. Rori says all of her relationshp coach friends have experienced that real chemistry is built over time with the right guy.



  414.  #415Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Mel it is always your call and should not be until you are comfortable doing that. If they cannot wait then that is not the guy for you. A guy who is really into you will wait until you are ready is my experience.



  415.  #416Mel on October 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    Perhaps if invited I should say something like “Sure… a drink sounds nice, but I can’t stay long…” or something. What do you think?



  416.  #417Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Mel you know how Rori says when he gets that you are “into” him his attraction drops? Maybe that is what happened. Now you have to emotionally walk away even in your thoughts. This is one of the tests I find most difficult but I consciously choose do it to develop emotional maturity.



  417.  #418Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Mel I have playfully found a way to say no sex, even if it meant saying “I don’t want to get screwed, no pun intended”. I have slept over having said that and my wish was totally respected. I said it before finding Rori and was told it’s all about you.



  418.  #419Mel on October 16, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    417:

    FW… That’s great! Heehee! LOL 🙂



  419.  #420English Woman on October 16, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    #403/404 SLV

    That link doesn’t work for anybody outside the USA. 🙁



  420.  #421tinque on October 16, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    Mel – It doesn’t matter what he expects. He asked you in for coffee or a drink. He didn’t ask you to come in and get it on. As long as the man is respectful and not pushy, it’s fine to go in for a drink if you want to. Remember it’s not our business to guess what’s going on in his brain.

    xxoo



  421.  #422R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    @408 Thanks and congrats to her..Cheers all around 🙂



  422.  #423LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    woow, he just called. Those NVs got the best of me this afternoon when I knew he was back and wasn’t calling me. He got in at 4am, got some sleep and went to pick up his motorcycle.

    Wanted him to hold off for 2hours to come see me, but he insisted on coming right away. I told him I had to go do my grocery shopping. He said OK, but called again 5 minutes later. He said he couldn’t wait 2 hours and asked me what I needed so he could go buy my groceries for me so I can have time to finish what I was doing and he could come in 1 hour instead of 2.
    WOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

    Scr*w You NVs!!!!!!!!

    Gotta go, I’m still in my jammies!



  423.  #424Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Congrats RN Amazing



  424.  #425Kim on October 16, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Hi, I am new here. I what kind of advice I need but I know I need some.

    I was dating a man that I work with that was pretty forbidden but we just kept it between us. So for 7 months everything seemed to be okay. He works ALOT so I know his time is limited. It really agreevates me because I really missed him. Well Wednesday night I left him a not so nice voicemail. I knew that I shouldn’t have done it but I just did. Well now he is so mad at me, not answering my calls and simply ignoring me. I am so sick to my stomach because my feelings for him are so sincere. I can’t help but wonder if he was just looking for something and this just helped him out? I just want him to talk to me about it. I would think one arguement in 7 months isn’t the end of the relationship but sadly it just might be. Is there anything I can do to fix this? I said I was sorry and he said that isn’t enough.



  425.  #426Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Hi Kim, he might be angry and need time to get over his anger. You reaching out will not necessarily change anything for him. Also bear in mind that he is not your child and you can’t just let him have it and expect that he is going to come running into your arms. I understand your position having been there myself but getting your mind off of him and getting out there and dating others could possibly help the relationship. Just bear in mind that nothing in life is guaranteed.



  426.  #427Kim on October 16, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Thank Femininewoman 🙂 He is the 2nd man that I have dated in 4 years since I got divorced. I don’t know where to even start meeting men. He is one of my cooperate officers at work that is how we met. I know he is coming to my location in a few days and I am hoping that seeing me might help out. Is this normal that a man would be this angry that he can’t speak to me? I am 38 and he is 48. He is also the first older man that I have dated and I don’t know what to do. I feel like a love struck teenager sick to my stomach for days, not able to sleep or eat. I am not calling him today in fear that might push him away.



  427.  #428Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Kim it is best to work on your fear. He will stay out of touch because that is what he wants to do. At his age he most likely know what works with women and how we behave. I would focus on taking care of myself. If you need to just bawl and let it all out. You will feel a bit better after. You will not fall apart.



  428.  #429Kim on October 16, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    So are you thinking it might really be over? One mistake and that’s it? Oh….that is really sad.



  429.  #430Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    @419: English Woman says:
    “…#403/404 SLV
    That link doesn’t work for anybody outside the USA…”

    Awww, 😥
    It’s so cool; I’m sorry you can’t watch the video. I think it works for all of North America though, Canada…?

    @407: Mel says:
    “…Question…
    When a guy invites you over to his place for a drink or for coffee, is it naive of me to expect that it will JUST be a drink or coffee? Is he expecting more? …”

    My mathematical perception is that a man’s hope and expectation of sex and his assertive efforts are in direct proportion to the ease of “getting naked” in the chosen venue.

    If you have a chance take a look at EMK’s recent free hour long coaching video with the five women. (Maybe it’s still on his web site.) The subject came up and was discussed at length. It might add some insight, both to mind of a male and also some ways to deal with it.

    xoxo



  430.  #431Senior Lady Vibe on October 16, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    @406: LILI 41

    Thanks. I will go there.

    xoxo



  431.  #432Daria on October 16, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    u know i could be a powerful priestess and medicine woman and still be thinking im “unlucky” in love

    i feel so glad to have this love magic available to me so I can choose relationships that feel good

    omg what a blessing

    thank you thank you thank you



  432.  #433Ella on October 16, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    Ok so had date with CD2. It was really good. Felt REALLY fun. We went on an adventure walk in the woods and then to two country pubs, one of which we sat by the fire and ate dinner.

    He wanted me to drive over to him and I had to stick with the ‘it feels better to me when men come to collect me’. And he did.

    And the truth is I felt quite awkward in myself today with him.

    I just didn’ feel that confident. Maybe as was a little tired and hungover (hugover – lol)… and at one point he took a picure of me and I wasn’t expecting it and I went all shy and kinda cringed away from the camera and then I felt like such an awkward clutz!

    And I just didn’t feel so attractive at all.

    I still had a good time though.

    I honestly feel a little unsure with him, like I don’t feel confident he is THAT into me that he will continue to step up for me, although so far he has.

    He is just very laid back and has his own full and busy life and has recently been through a divorce and its almost like he isn’t going to fall head over heals for anyone…

    I don’t know hough obviously… thats his business… however what I do know is that today I felt awkward and unsexy and also that I still had fun!

    And I felt more attracted to him tonight than before, which made me feel vulnerable.

    Well I guess all the time he is stepping up and wanting to take me out I can just be in the moment and enjoy that… and that is what I was doing tonight.



  433.  #434Kim on October 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Daria, where do you get the “love magic” and where can I get some?



  434.  #435Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    I am not suggesting that at all Kim. All I am saying is find other ways to take care of your needs. You have no control over what is thinking or chooses to do so you might as well let go and see what happens.



  435.  #436Ella on October 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Does anyone else think that they lose some of the passion because of not assuming that you are going to have a relationship with that man?

    Like I totally get not ‘grabbing’ on and putting them in a cage, however as I am not doing that I am also feeling less able to let go in some ways, because I know they are likley to come and go, in some ways it actually makes me shut down.

    Like I don’t go all googey eyed over him… and the intensity of the connection doesn’t feel the same as when I used to do that.

    Feels confusing.

    Anyway I am getting to like CD2, however he, like all CDs, is just practice, although I am starting to feel tired of practice now.

    I want my man pls.

    Think I am almost done, well darned near anyway.



  436.  #437Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Ella as one coach says, consider him as a brother.



  437.  #438Ella on October 16, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Booty call guy showed back up on text apologising!

    Interesting.

    And I feel so silly and unGoddessy that CD2 now has some god awful pic of me cringing away from having a pic taken with panic and self loathing in my eyes!

    Icky icky icky.

    Oh well, still love me, even on my less than secure days!



  438.  #439Ella on October 16, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    FW re 436

    Hmm, I have not heard that and don’t know what it means… would you mind expanding pls?

    xoxo



  439.  #440Ella on October 16, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Kim Hi,

    re 426,

    I don’t know much about your situation and something that popped out at me from this post is it sounds like you might be addicted to this man?

    I have been there feeling lovesick and like I ‘need’ a man…

    If I was you I would give it some space and start by reading all the posts Rori has written here abou being addicted to men.

    And I would also buy her Toxic Men programme.

    Then you can start healing you, and this is also the best chance for the relationship too.

    The space may be enough to heal the rift anyway, it may or it may not, however you reaching forward to him is more likely to do more damage while he is angry.

    If you can truly get your focus back on you, however hard that may be righ now, then that will help this situation shift for you.

    He may wonder where you have gone and then when he approaches you can be a warm invitation that makes him forget there was ever an arguement.

    That is what I would go for in your position.

    Hugs.

    xoxox



  440.  #441Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    It might have been Kaye Porter or the eHarmony guy who suggested that when on a date think of the guy as your brother. That was you help yourself reduce the internal stress to make it a successful date.



  441.  #442Ella on October 16, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    But I did sometimes feel sexy and confident too, just not my usual, Godessy self.

    Hmmm.

    Also noticing a lot these days when I am ‘man pleasing’ or over smiling or competiting or trying to impress.

    Dang, it happens so often.

    Or talking to fill the slience…

    And I know it is just about holding the space, and you know what, it is friggin hard!!

    Still reckon I am coming on leaps and bounds.

    I love me.



  442.  #443Kim on October 16, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Thanks everyone 🙂 I am not addicted (at least I don’t think) infact at one point I was ready to leave the relationship but then got closer to him. I have a good career. So I don’t need him for anything but companionship. I am going to give him some space and hope for the best. Kinda like if you love someone set them free. I just hope it takes its course for the better. I haven’t been in alot of relationships so I don’t know what to do. I haven’t signed up for any of Rori’s programs. Do you think the toxic men would be the best? I just wish I had a crystal ball…but don’t we all??



  443.  #444Daria on October 16, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    Kim – from reading and especially practicing rori’s tools all the time… changed my ideas and expectations about love and relationships



  444.  #445Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    Here are two ways to handle this situation. You will either help him to open up and have a decent conversation with you, or you’ll find that he won’t and he’s not worth your time.

    First, take a deep breath and mentally pull yourself back into your body by focusing on your heart center (the middle of your chest). This will stop your out-of-control thinking and give you a chance to pause.

    Then sit back and listen. Look at him as though you are waiting for him to speak and don’t do anything. He will eventually have to say something. Depending on what he does with this opportunity will determine your interest in him or not.

    The more aggressive approach (which I recommend) is to ask him outright what’s going on with him. Is he bored, worried about something or not feeling well? By doing this you are being courageous and taking care of yourself. You don’t want to assume anything so you’re asking him to tell you the truth of what he’s feeling. You’re giving him the chance to explain his “rude” behavior.

    http://www.itsnevertoolatetomarry.com/dating-advice-dealing-with-a-man-who-wont-communicate/



  445.  #446Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Kim I would suggest reading around the blog so you can get a sense of where you are and the type of program/help you may need.



  446.  #447Daria on October 16, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Kim if you are just starting out Rori would say get the E-book – thats’ “Have The Relationship You Want” as that has all the basic tools that the other programs build on



  447.  #448Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    From a Rori email

    The RIGHT way to treat a man who sleeps with you and then wants to be your “friend” is to say how you feel – “I feel feelings for you beyond friendship, and so I don’t want to be friends with you just now…and then DROP HIM COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR LIFE!



  448.  #449R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    Kim listen to these sirens!! They know what they are talking about!! It’s wierd I just had a this wierd picture in my head of when some of us come here. Like a wild untamed horse and then the sirens…rori and all here come in and try to calm the horse down. Say whoa, it’s ok ur safe, relax and no need to run! Feel what your feeling but don’t put the carriage before the horse… 🙂 My mom told me that 🙂



  449.  #450R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    You know when a horse gets spooked and stands up on hind legs and bucks…that was or sometimes still is me I believe.



  450.  #451R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    @447 right on 🙂 Smart and so true.



  451.  #452Starla on October 16, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Oh my, more attention still from men. It’s an avalanche these days.



  452.  #453Starla on October 16, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Someone i’ve known for years and years emailed me to tell me he’s always liked me and was too shy to say.

    He is the shyest man I know. So I feel proud of him and of myself for making him feel safe enough to do that.

    But I’m not the slightest bit interested=/ He would be toxic for me. Ah well.



  453.  #454CurvySiren10 on October 16, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Lili~ thanks for the preview. It’s in French, but I’ll find it in English:) Hope you’re having fun with D tonight. 🙂

    Lillybelly~ thank you for the author’s name(s). That’s the one I found on Amazon. Just wanted to be sure. I need it right now. 🙁



  454.  #455Kim on October 16, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    You girls have been a great help! I want to pick up the phone so badly!! I just know that isn’t what I should do though. He is coming to my work location within the next few days. When he comes into my office I am going to say to him ” You can communicate with everyone about company policies but when it comes down to our 7 month relationship you completely shut down” I am going to find out what his problem is and if it sounds like an excuse because he is too big of a coward to tell me the truth then I guess it will be time for me to move on. I swore off love awhile a go…I guess I just thought he would be different.



  455.  #456Emoticon on October 16, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    SIRENS!!! What’s going on here? CD2 who I guess ill call J from now on cuz I don’t wanna get confused with the numbers. He’s the one who told me last week how much he loves n misses me. He shows so much affection. As much as I’m addicted to affection and sweet words, I still lean back which is kind of surprising to me lol!! I feel so intensely about him tho! What’s going on??



  456.  #457Starla on October 16, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    kim 454

    okaaayyy don’t get mad at me saying this:P but i would not say that to him. it’s blaming and not what Rori’s 4 rules are all about.

    How about some feeling messages?

    “I feel confused. I don’t want to be in the dark about matters of the heart.”

    “Things feel so strained right now, and I don’t want to feel that way with you. Is there something I should know?”

    etc.

    The other sirens here can help with this, too!



  457.  #458R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    @454 Kim… I do believe that would be taking a more lean forward role. I think you may get through this with feeling messages. What you said in 454 ok good say it here. I think you may find a more suitable approach for your situation. What do you think?



  458.  #459Kim on October 16, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Starla, that is great advice! Thank You! Is there ever workshops? I hate being so confused! I hate to say it but I really am not ready for it to be over between us.



  459.  #460Kim on October 16, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    R.N. what are feeling messages and where do I find more? Thanks!



  460.  #461R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    @458 I think a major thing a lot of us do in relationships is blame one another. I was, and still am a work in progress. Try a soft approach, make him want to open up to you if you choose to speak with him. Just an idea!! …XOXO



  461.  #462R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Feeling messages are statements about how your feeling inside, not what “he does” that is blamey but what he does and how it makes you “feel.” The sirens here have great idea and can point u in the right direction too!



  462.  #463LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    453:
    CurvySiren: The website is in French but click on the 1st box, the book excerpt is in English.



  463.  #464Kim on October 16, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    @460…I know we can’t see the future but is this normal for a man that you have been in a relationship for 7 months with that he doesn’t call for 4 days? He normally called everyday. Even for just a few minutes he still did call. I haven’t left any voice mails for him today. Can things still be turned around they way I want them to? I feel like I am just clinging to hope right now. I am from NW Indiana near Chicago. Anyone else?



  464.  #465Emerson on October 16, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    LILI 41 your pics are so lovely!!!! And I love the glasses, they look nice on you. Pretty siren!!!



  465.  #466LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    I’m sooo aangggggry right now!

    He couldn’t wait to see me coming back from a 7 day trip w his buddies. When he felt how I was getting all cozy w him, after I had accepted his invitation to go to his son’s weekend hockey tournament w him….He nails me with : I’m going on vacation to Cuba in November. I wanted to slap him!!!
    I was with him when he got a call from his boss to tell him that he needs to work weekends for a whole month bc one guy is out sick for a whole month. So I know it’s the truth, but he follows it with I’m going to Cuba w my friends!

    The only time he can get weekends off is by takiing vacation time, of which he has 6 weeks a year. I told him that it would feel so good if we went back to that inn we once went to. We would get massages, have a therapeutic bath in front of the fireplace in our own room.
    He knows I can’t get a full week off, he asked 3 times, and all 3 times I said I can’t take a whole week off. I can take a long 4 day weekend but not a whole 7 days straight.
    I was so furious. He keeps booking time off to go off on trips w his friends, but can’t even plan 5 minutes ahead w me. He planned 24 hours ahead before he left on this vacation…just to get me where he wants me, then BAM!!! off he goes again to another trip without me.

    I got so angry that I threw him out and told him to forget all about me! All FMs out the window. Talking FMs w him just shows him that he has me where he wants me and that he can treat me like a crumbtaker.
    I told him that he is happy the way he is, but I am not happy, and I need to take my self esteem back and kick you to the curb. He replied that I was not being nice and that he was not happy w his life.
    I said to him “If you’re ever going to make a women happy the way you are, you should find one that loves being an unimportant crumbtaker who has no self esteem.”

    I know I was nowhere near being Sireny and speaking in FMs. But maybe if I get angry enough and make him feel bad enough, he’ll leave me alone so I can move on and be happy with a REAL man!

    I’ve wasted enough time and energy being angry w this man, I will now turn off the switch and go to bed.



  466.  #467LILI 41 on October 16, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    Thank You for the nice complement Emerson.

    I saw it only after I vented out my rage.



  467.  #468Emerson on October 16, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Aww Alias Girrrrll…..
    I’m excited to hear about the lashes 🙂



  468.  #469Kim on October 16, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    This is so cute! I took my almost 4 year old to Build a Bear to make Snoopy. She gave him 7 hearts. She just brought me the Snoopy and said “Mommy, you can one of Snoopy’s hearts” Wouldn’t that be nice to have a replacement heart?



  469.  #470alias girl lol on October 16, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    467 emerson!!!!! thanks!!!! it feels fun to be supported!

    but i am going to keep experimenting because they did not actually make me look more attractive. lol. i think maybe light feathery ones might be better.

    but i saw some with jewels on them. i MUST try them. i dont care how they look. I MUST wear them.



  470.  #471R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    @463 Normal ..if there is such a thing…hmmm I think we have some experienced sirens on here that could advise you with this. If you love him I would never lose hope in your heart.



  471.  #472R.N.AmazingMe on October 16, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    @465 Aww hugs …that sounds like something I would do completely!! Feeling messages are so hard when we get that emotional.



  472.  #473Kim on October 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    I was looking at other blogs and found speeches. So I am trying to write one. I want to come off as being understanding of his anger but wants him to know that his silence was unfair and just as hurtful. I am going to write him a letter. I don’t know if he will read it or if I will be able to memorize the majority of it and just be able to say it to him but I can’t let him just walk away without my side of hurt.



  473.  #474Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    Kim even with the letter he can walk away like that. Rori teaches no closure as it kind of shows how controlling we are. A girlfriend might likely read such a letter but a man hhhhmmm. He already knows what the effect of the silence. A letter would likely end up being blameful and push him further away. Focussing on his behavior never works.



  474.  #475Kim on October 16, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    @465…I’m sorry. That sucks when they are not caring about your feelings. It’s almost how they say “people give their best smiles to strangers” You’re right! I never thought about being a “crumbtaker” I always get what’s left of time if anything. How are we suppose to be happy with that? I really wish we came with a switch. Would make life alot easier. Good luck with the outcome.



  475.  #476Kim on October 16, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    @473…then what do I do? I am so confused. I really tried to stop my old habits. This is the one that I thought I would have a future with too. He seemed to tell me the same thing. That nature would take it’s course and we would have a future. I know if I found other men to take my mind off him and circular date but I don’t know any men that are single. I should get a jump on this because I don’t want to sit around and cry for days.



  476.  #477Emerson on October 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    AGlol you are welcome…I know what you mean a bout being annoyed by people. I get annoyed by a lot of the guys I meet, and lose my patience. I’m trying to get better about that. Anywho, lashes with jewels-yay I have seen them but never tried them…

    LILI 41 gah I am so sorry you’re going thru that. I get like that too when I get upset…all FM out the door and IMHO it is ok because at least you are being authentic!

    I’m going thru some weirdness with recycled and it has taken me a while (too long) to figure out/define/isolate what’s been bothering me so much.

    A friend of mine over the weekend helped me clarify. We weren’t even talking about him.. but she spoke of a man who she met online who it seemed was trying to “trick” her by not being honest…and she crossed him off the list immediately. I thought of recycled as soon as she said that word “tricked”, and it made me sad and mad and relieved at the same time.

    I don’t want to feel like someone is trying to trick me. And it seems like he is sometimes. It feels bad. He made some mistakes and apologized about six months ago, saying he was more humble/a different person/not the same/more thoughtful, etc…and I believed him (with some skepticism) but he seemed like it was true for a while. Lately not so much. Bummer. But I’ve been RAGING mad at him in the past and tearfully told him to leave and never call or talk to me again. I was furious, so I know that feeling. It is hard.



  477.  #478Kim on October 16, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    How can you change the avatar to your picture? I can’t figure it out..thanks!



  478.  #479Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Kim relationship conversation are hard when we initiate them. Guys just want the relationship to be easy they don’t want to talk about it because they take it as if they are a failure. Guys understand space more than they do words.



  479.  #480Emerson on October 16, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Hi FW
    “Focussing on his behavior never works.”

    Wow very simple and profound. I’m trying to let that sink in.
    Thanks for that reminder…and also about the no clusure concept.

    I keep thinking about what my friend said…I don’t want to feel like I’m being tricked. It feels soo icky. I don’t want crumbs either. It feels bad and makes me angry. No tricks and no crumbs. No no no



  480.  #481Femininewoman on October 16, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    Emerson I have trouble accepting the tricks comment. They do what they want to do. They tend to put disclaimers out very early on and it is our fault if we don’t pay attention. The guy is just doing what works for him. I know some of them play mind games but guys have a honor code they live by. They want to be thought of as the good guy. But I have also found out that they do what makes them happy.



  481.  #482Emerson on October 16, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    FW what do you mean guys have a honor code they live by?

    I agree about the disclaimers, but still feels bad to be lied to.



  482.  #483Kim on October 16, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    I love the quote ” The hardest part about a lie is knowing you weren’t worth the truth”



  483.  #484Kim on October 16, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    @478…true that guys understand space more. Is it becuase they think maybe we don’t care anymore and they come back to see why? Or is the space their way of getting out?



  484.  #485Starla on October 16, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Kim 463, how does it feel to not hear from him for 4 days?

    You are stuck on what to do and if there is any hope to change the situation.

    It is super recommended to spend some time FIRST on how that feels to you. It will get you the relationship you want MUCH faster, trust us!

    Go ahead and write out here how it feels, if you want.



  485.  #486Kim on October 16, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Starla
    I feel hurt, very angry, unwanted, betrayed, used, lonely, sad, unloved, immature, disrespected, trapped and confused.

    I just can’t understand 🙁



  486.  #487Starla on October 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    Oooh I love your feelings, Kim! Let’s take out the ones that can be followed with “by him,” and start with lonely, sad, immature, confused, trapped. Cuz those are your own feelings, and don’t venture towards blaming him.

    The other ladies might disagree with me, but 4 days isn’t too terribly long. It’s unusual if you guys have been in touch every day for 7 months, but 4 days is really just 4 days.

    Can you take this silence as an opportunity to evaluate if this is the kind of relationship you want? Do you need more time from a man? Sure, you acted ‘bad’ by lashing out at him, but are you sure you want to change yourself and not the kind of relationship you are invested in?

    You are sooo not trapped. And we’re here for you.

    And if it helps you to think about having a game plan, then start preparing a script for talking to him when he does come to you, so that you can perhaps negotiate having a relationship that works better for you.

    Right now, sending him a letter because you’re upset that he’s upset because you were mean to him seems kinda abusive (no offense). It just seems to me like getting in touch with your own feelings and seeing about making yourself feel less lonely and more wanted is going to do wonders for your vibe and prevent this from happening again.

    I hope this helps somewhat=/



  487.  #488Kim on October 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    Oh Starla..thank you so much! I wish I would have been more proactive and found this blog before! The heartache that I might have prevented for myself. I am going to give him space and hope for the best. I need to remember my worth and know I deserve the best. I also need to hope that he sees the same thing.
    You’re right 4 days is only 4 days. I called for 3 of those days. I left voice mails that now made me sound desperate. Where is that do over at??



  488.  #489Starla on October 16, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Kim,
    Do-overs are so overrated 🙂

    Maybe it will help you to form and stick to a game plan until he gets in touch with you again. This would look like activities/things you can do to show love to yourself and take care of yourself and your feelings (and NOT eating a gallon of ice cream or getting smashed at the bar hehe)

    We’re all different but for example, when I am feeling like how you’re feeling and in that situation, things I tend to do are go for pedicures or give myself one, go for facials or give myself one, clean the house, organize a closet, meet up with a friend i haven’t seen in a while for a movie (I avoid meetings where I might have the chance to talk about my boy problems so no coffee or dinners with them), buy new underwear or bras from tj maxx or ross or marshalls or kohls or any of those less expensive stores, buy new lip gloss, go to the gym, sign up for a class that interests me, work on a project i put away long ago, or maybe you’re into – draw, paint, dance, meditate, dye your hair a different color or highlight it…etc.

    when i’m really upset and anxious,i avoid paying other people to do my nails or facials, cuz i’ll be too anxious to enjoy it for the money i’m spending. better to do it at home for free hehe.



  489.  #490Kim on October 16, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    I went Friday to see Footloose (great movie) I cried for half the movie. Saturday night I went out with friends for dinner. I couldn’t eat because my nerves are shot. After that we went to a local club. I left because all I could think about was the call that never came. Tears just start falling. I can’t control them…they just fall. I don’t cry alot. I usually have to watch a sad movie thinking it’s about time for a good cry. I am worried because I am still so upset that all it is going to take is someone to ask me how I am tommorrow at work.
    Has this ever happened where they don’t call and then they do? I feel silly for never being in this situation! Thankful but wishes it wasn’t him I was going through this with.



  490.  #491Mel on October 16, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    LOve, love, love this clip:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CemLiSI5ox8



  491.  #492Ella on October 17, 2011 at 12:09 am

    Feel annoyed at myself right now for cringing (and I literally did cringe) away from the camera on my date with CD2 last night.

    Why couldn’t I have just stood neutrally or done ANYTHING except pull a ‘I’m freaked out and I don’t believe I am beautiful’ face and cringe down.

    It was an opportunity to leave him with a beatiful reminder of me, and instead he has some awful pic of me which reminds him that I don’t feel confident in myself!

    Grrrr.



  492.  #493Esteemed on October 17, 2011 at 2:03 am

    I am awake at 5 am because I’m so excited about moving! Sunday I got my keys to my new house and dropped off my first carload. I intend to take down 1 carad each day on my way to wor for the next two weeks. Then I’ll live there as of November 1st. I love it there!



  493.  #494Esteemed on October 17, 2011 at 2:08 am

    I just forced myself to watch a ten minute video about driving while texting, made by at&t. I’m convinced, not going to text anymore. Statistics show that your 23 * more likely to be in an accident if your texting while driving while driving.



  494.  #495Esteemed on October 17, 2011 at 2:28 am

    In emotional news, here are my latest ponderings… as most of you know, it took me 2 years, up until about a week ago, to make an inner shift to where I quit contacting R.

    As I was thinking about it today, I made an analogy in the realm of physical health. Once my doctor told me that when i feel better, that will enable me to function better. Maybe that seems obvious to everyone else. For me, at the time, I was lost in depression and excessive sleepiness, because of sleep apnea. She gave me an antidepressant and another medication to make me alert and awake.

    Sure enough, when my mood elevated, I fell able to face life again.

    For 2 and a half years, I have known that I should not contact a man, that I should lean back and receive like a water wheel. I realize the reason I was obsessively contacting him over and over Is because my feelings inside still felt the same. It was like telling a woman in labor not to scream!

    So I really did need this time to transition and have this huge inner shift. I still miss him a lot, But I finally get it why it’s so important to not contact him. Between feeling better about who I am, and feeling better about being a warm open free sandy beach, I am now in a position to not contact him and to be strong about it, and mostly to have peace about it.

    I future part of my emotional intelligence just fell into place.



  495.  #496Esteemed on October 17, 2011 at 2:40 am

    Future = feel like



  496.  #497Aurora Girl on October 17, 2011 at 3:38 am

    Good morning Chickies….

    well mother nature is whipping up a storm here…..leaves and wind and rain and strong energy in the air……she keeps flipping the switch on the electricity off, then on , then off…..and then lets the sun come out a while as the clouds part….and unexpectedly kicks up the wind again, darkness falls midday and she whips up the wind again…….she is powerful, unpredictable, and strong one moment and then calm, warm, peaceful the next….and she makes no apologies for any of it…..she just lets us see how she feels………and gives and sustains life………and we all love her and want to protect her and respect her…..

    I’m thinkin’ she’s got this goddess thing down pretty good……..:)

    Have a great day!

    xo



  497.  #498Senior Lady Vibe on October 17, 2011 at 3:52 am

    What do you bring to the table?

    There are some thoughts on that topic in this blog post:

    http://bbsezmore.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/what-i-bring-to-the-table/

    xoxo



  498.  #499Daria on October 17, 2011 at 4:53 am

    Ella – he probably finds it charming 🙂



  499.  #500Butterfly Wings on October 17, 2011 at 5:15 am

    Hi everyone. I’m in bed and it’s only 10.15pm (early for me) cos I have a huge headache. Blah.

    But on the up side, this post is very well timed, because I’d just watched the DVD about the POP thing and tonight I was working on my POP and finally did something I’ve been planning to do for a VERY long time, so I feel really good about that, despite my sore head!

    I did a good thing today. I’ve been putting aside this Saturday night in case TH wanted to do something (yeah I know – silly silly!), so when a girlfriend messaged me today asking if I’d go to a fundraiser trivia night followed by drinking and dancing after, I said yes! I also did some work for a friend last night and in return she offered me two free tickets to a full day of pampering on the 30th! Woohoo! Thank you Universe! I’ve asked one of my gf’s to join me too!

    Oh and my mother informed me today that she thought I could do better than TH. She’s met him once, and yeah he’s not the best looking guy and he’s definitely not a talker, so her first impression was not great! lol

    But she’s a great Mum and said “And that’s all I’m going to say!”. I know it’s just because she cares and wants me to be happy. 🙂



  500.  #501English Woman on October 17, 2011 at 5:44 am

    Esteemed

    I feel SO happy to see your positive posts on here, hope your little house will be filled with much fun and laughter, and I AM SOOOO glad that you have put R into perspective, that must feel like a huge relief to you.

    Let the next chapter of your new life begin. 😉



  501.  #502Kim on October 17, 2011 at 5:48 am

    Praying that he shows up today at my work location. I just need to see his body reacts around me. Please send luck my way. Either that things work themselves out or I just realize that he is playing games and not worth it.

    Hope everyone has a good day!



  502.  #503Femininewoman on October 17, 2011 at 6:03 am

    Kim keep your energy coming towards you. That attention could feel like pressure to him.