4 Ways To Tell If You Really Do Love Yourself

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Are You A Madly in Love with ME Woman?

Here’s a great guest post from the lovely Christine Arylo, one of my Monthly Interviews Experts…she was fantastic, and I asked her to write something for us:

Few of us would deny that self-love is a good idea. And no woman would tell her daughters, nieces, godchildren or any other woman or girl for that matter, “Hey you, don’t love yourself, that’s selfish.”

Chances are that if asked, “Do you love yourself?” most women would say “Why, yes of course I do,” when in fact the majority don’t really have a clue what self-love actually means, or requires.

This lack of understanding about self-love isn’t surprising when you consider that the current definition of self-love on dictionary.com is “conceit, vanity and narcissism,” or when you look at the pressures today’s woman faces, equal to men in many ways, knowing she can do anything, but exhausted by her attempts to do and be everything.

Over the last eight years, through personal study, writing and hundreds of interviews and coaching clients, I’ve discovered that self-love is a life-long practice whose path can be marked with a series of self-love milestones, or Madly in Love with ME factors, which any woman can use to gauge where she has self-love and where she doesn’t.

The idea of self-love sounds great, but it feels too intangible and vast to really attain. By measuring your current reality against these self-love milestones, which I call the Madly in Love with ME Factors, any woman can determine where she needs more self-love, and where she is already doing a great job.

I recommend that you pick one Madly in Love with ME Factor and then create a 40-day self-love practice out it. The yogis, brain scientists and metaphysicians agree that if you can do anything for 40-days continuously, you can break old patterns and change your life!

(From Rori: Christine just completed a 40-day self-love practice on Madly in Love with ME Factor #4 and  blogged her progress day-by-day, inviting other women to join her with their own 40-day practice. Her blog is right here:)

The Madly In Love With ME Factors

Factor #1: I know who I am and what I want from this life.

This is the first factor to loving yourself, because if you don’t know who you are, how can you love that person? Most of us go through life doing what we think we are supposed to do and be, influenced by the society in which we grew up.

These experiences and people form our beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions, until the day we realize that how we really feel and think is different than everyone around us. While you will continue to learn about yourself forever, self-love requires that

a. You make a choice to continue to learn about you everyday,
b. You know and can articulate at least these four things about yourself: your dreams, gifts, values and beliefs.
c. You know who you are NOT, as well as who you are.

Factor #2: I love my cellulite.

Look it’s there, and no matter how much cream you lather on your legs, you’re still going to have cellulite.

It’s part of you, and you can either love it or hate it. When I was hating my cellulite, it grew and got more noticeable. Every time I sat down wearing shorts it screamed at me, “Here I am! Look at me!”

After being tortured by it for years, I did a practice of loving my cellulite. Every day, I told it, “I love you.” I meditated daily, visualizing my cellulite pockets being filled up with love. And today, I can’t tell you if I have any less of it, but I do know that I very rarely notice it. And when I do, while I may still not like my cellulite, I can love it. Its appearance now motivates me0 to walk a little more and get more exercise, instead of hating my body for having it.

Factor #3: All of my relationships support me to be my best me and to live the life I want, or I don’t have them.

This can be one of the hardest milestones, because it means putting a big stake in the ground for yourself. It requires honoring yourself SO much that you only have relationships in your life – friendships, romantic partners, even relatives – that give respect, trust, unconditional love and truth.

You love and honor yourself so deeply that all relationships in your life make your life better, help you reach your dreams and be a better you. This doesn’t mean that the relationships are perfect, void of difficulty, or that you are absolved of giving the same respect you desire. What it does require is that you choose me before we in every relationship… let go of ones that don’t serve you, change ones that have the potential to grow, and open up to let new ones come in.

Factor #4: I can and do take care of me without the guilt or burden.

It’s like women have a DNA pattern that says take care of everyone else before you take care of you, and if we try to buck that pattern by actually taking care of ourselves, we can’t help but feel guilty or like we should be doing something more productive.

This self-love milestone means being able to say, “Yes… I take care of myself first, before work, family and responsibilities… I take care of me without feeling guilty or like I should be doing something else… I can meditate, relax, or take a walk and see it as productive time vs wasting time. I take days (not just one day) for ME without being prodded by my friends or partner, and I don’t feel one ounce of guilt about it.

Love is a practice.
Start by practicing on you.
Which factor will your 40-day practice focus on?

Here’s Christine’s bio, and I didn’t think I could say it any better:
Christine Arylo, an m.b.a. turned writer, speaker and teacher, is an inspirational catalyst who teaches women how to stop being so hard on themselves. A recovering achievement junkie and doing addict herself, Arylo is the co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School and the author of Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love . Known as the “Queen of Self-Love,” Arylo created Madly in Love with ME, the international day of self-love (Feb 13), dedicated to making self-love a tangible reality for women and girls around the world. Visit her at www.daretoliveyou.com

About Madly in Love with ME™
Kicking off every year with international Madly in Love with ME Day™ on February 13th, the Madly in Love with ME™ movement inspires, dares and guides women and girls around the world to trade in the self-criticism, feelings of un-worthiness, overwhelm and exhaustion for unwavering self-love. With events in cities around the world on February 13th, and a plethora of virtual opportunities – including a free Self-Love Guidebook, a Video Dare contest, and a call for rewriting the definition of self-love — women and girls can create their own self-love extravaganzas for themselves or their friends, Madly in Love with ME™ is on a mission to reclaim self-love for every woman.

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184 Comments

  1.  #1Renee on November 26, 2010 at 7:45 am

    Top of the world!



  2.  #2Senior Lady Vibe on November 26, 2010 at 8:22 am

    @Renee

    I’m glad it was you. 😀

    It’s a sign!

    SLV



  3.  #3Renee on November 26, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Rosa,

    Thank you so much for asking about me.

    I’m doing ok…no effect from the new AD yet, but it often takes 2-3 weeks after an effective dose has been introduced before it takes effect and I’ve only been on the lowest therapeutic dose for 5 days, so I’m patiently waiting.

    I’ve had some problems getting to this dose because I’ve been experiencing a rare side effect — dangerously high blood pressure spikes. (My diastolic bp sometimes goes as high as 112). My dr has put me on a beta blocker to counteract this effect and it does seem to be helping, but it sometimes makes me tired.

    Hopefully, I’ll be able to wean off the beta blocker over the next couple of months. I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve been corresponding with one of the world’s foremost experts on this drug and he assures me he’s never had to cease treatment because of this side effect and that it does eventually go away. Only about 2% of people experience it, so I’m kind of frustrated that I’m one of those few, but he has had such success in treating treatment resistent depression with it, that I’m still very hopeful that it will eventually work for me and hopefully that day will come sooner rather than later.

    According to all the boards I’ve read, people usually have a very noticeable effect from this drug when it does kick in, much like the overnight change in feelings I had back when I took those supplements and had a brief remission, so unlike with some other drugs where you slowly start to notice some subtle improvements, it’s more likely that it will hit me one day and I’m really looking forward to it. I should only have another 2 weeks or so before it starts to work its magic, unless I need a higher dose, which would be difficult for me to take until the bp thing clears up.

    But I’m willing to wait, based on the dramatic effects I’ve read about from so many people who’ve suffered depression for 20yrs or more and who’ve had a positive effect on this drug. Sure, I’ll have to give up chedder cheese and soy sauce (lots of food interactions on this drug) but if/when I get back the feeling I had those 3 days on the supplements, I’d take that anyday over feeling empty, which is how I feel now.

    Thanks again for thinking of me — even though I haven’t been posting, I still read the blog everyday and I continue to be inspired by your progress! Keep up the good work and I’m looking forward to checking in with all of you again soon when the cloud finally lifts!



  4.  #4Renee on November 26, 2010 at 8:29 am

    Thank you, SLV. I hope to be back on the top of the world (and on top of my life!) again soon!



  5.  #5Dorothea on November 26, 2010 at 8:49 am

    riffing
    i feel rejected i feel worthless i feel like a fool i feel a knot in my heart it feels like cement i feel teary eyed i feel hysterical i feel panicked i feel angry
    i do not want to be a fool.



  6.  #6Femininewoman on November 26, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Big hugs Dorethea



  7.  #7Femininewoman on November 26, 2010 at 9:03 am

    Again thank you RR for such an instructive article.



  8.  #8Plum on November 26, 2010 at 9:07 am


  9.  #9Plum on November 26, 2010 at 9:24 am


  10.  #10Dorothea on November 26, 2010 at 9:33 am

    thank you for the hugs



  11.  #11marina on November 26, 2010 at 9:53 am

    I feel sad
    I feel lonely
    I feel bored
    I feel sorry for myself
    I feel I need a big hug from my BF4
    I feel I want to have fun with my BF4
    I feel abandoned

    I feel my head hurts and a cold starting

    I feel afraid to go outside since it is only 3 degrees Celsius
    I feel I miss the warmth, I feel I only come alive when it is at least 25 degrees Celsius
    I feel I am hibernating

    I feel I still need to get up and do something fun
    I feel I don’t deserve to have fun since I have just been hiding in bed today

    I feel I should take the invitation to go to that friday afternoon party a girlfriend of mine just invited me to

    I feel curious what it will be like there

    I feel I am not in the mood
    I feel I want to go bed and crawl underneath the blankets and stay away from the world
    I feel I want to stay on Siren Island forever
    I feel I need more silence

    I feel I cannot handle lots of people right now

    I feel shy
    I feel unloved
    I feel embarrassed and naked
    I feel I don’t know how to talk to strangers anymore
    I feel I don’t know how to have fun anymore

    I feel I can go home whenever I want

    I feel I want to give myself a big hug
    I feel I want to go out and play

    I feel I want to have fun with my girlfriends
    I feel I want to have fun meeting people I don’t know yet
    I feel I want to try some Rori Tools 🙂
    I feel curious how I will feel
    I feel curious how people will respond

    I feel I can come back here whenever I want



  12.  #12Meemee on November 26, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Sirens
    My roommate took me out for a dinner.
    Juicy Chicken Drums Stick, Tsing Hoi Chicken, Butter Garlic Chilly Rice, Date Pancake with Icecream and a long walk in the drizzle!!
    Peaceful!!!!!
    Meemee



  13.  #13Meemee on November 26, 2010 at 10:01 am

    And I booked my tickets for my next archival trip.
    I am going to a far away city day after and going to be working in the archives for 2 weeks.
    This is my first step towards starting my PhD work again.
    I am excited about the trip.
    I am going to stay on my horse no matter what happens.
    Meemee



  14.  #14Plum on November 26, 2010 at 10:28 am

    OOOHHHHH

    Watch out world!

    Meemee is coming!

    🙂 🙂 🙂



  15.  #15Meemee on November 26, 2010 at 10:40 am

    Plum
    Not yet!!!c:) 🙂 🙂 🙂
    LOL LOL LOL
    Meemee



  16.  #16Dorothea on November 26, 2010 at 11:31 am

    marina,
    big hugs to you too!



  17.  #17Senior Lady Vibe on November 26, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    @13: Meemee says:

    “I am excited about the trip.
    I am going to stay on my horse no matter what happens.”

    It sounds wonderful. I’m excited for you. There are so many possibilities for you on this trip.

    Keep in touch and tell us all about it.

    SLV



  18.  #18Senior Lady Vibe on November 26, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    I’m on the hunt for the elusive pattern for a flippy crochet skirt. I want a “Tina Turner dress” that flips and what I have in mind has a similar vibe.

    I found a free vintage pattern online (circa 1916!) that has the same general idea but will require extensive reworking, swatching and materials sourcing…uh, oh, so might have to wait until after Christmas. I basically have to use that pattern for “inspiration” and design and draft another one and my crochet skills are…minimal.

    But…I went to library and got Project Runway season three on DVDs. Watching the PR DVDs, I’m sure, will jumpstart my ambition, that and a whole lot of caffeine! 😀

    I hope you sirens are all following your hearts’s desires today.

    SLV



  19.  #19Simply Shannon on November 26, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Processing things and want to write them down.

    I just had part II of the surreal conversation with my ex husband. He’s getting married in March and it’s drummed up all this terror in my heart for my kids and jealousy for me. I thought God was leading me back towards him. I had opened my heart to this option. And the marriage announcement sort of kicked me in the teeth. Ummm… God I thought you were leading me towards this? I felt confused and sad. Worried for my boys. Regret for things not working out between me and him. What’s life going to be like for my kids?

    And so I told him everything. I felt so embarrassed. Telling this man who I spent so long hating and blaming that I actually felt jealous and that I wondered about “us” again.

    He said his relationship with his fiancee felt right, meant to be. That he had thought a lot about this, prayed about this, taking baby steps towards including my boys in her family’s life… their new life.

    He said he loves me, that he always will, that he thinks I’m a great mommy. He leaned over the table several times. Feeling messages are that powerful. He touched my arm more times than I could count.

    And I shared that I felt sad. Even though I know God has a plan for me and for my boys. He said he wants me to be happy, to find someone like he has found to be happy with.

    It was one of the most surreal conversations of my life.

    I feel stunned.
    I feel sad (why couldn’t we have talked like this during our marriage).
    I feel hopeful that I will be able to talk with a man like this in the future.
    I feel released.
    I feel scared. What now God?
    I feel drained.
    I feel blank.
    I feel mad. Why didn’t he pick me?

    Horse Shannon. Get back on your damn horse.
    The relationship of my dreams will be. Feeling messages are the FOUNDATION of everything. Owning MY feelings is the foundation of everything.

    I can change everything about how I interact with people.

    My ex is on my horse, and oddly I find that very comforting. I feel good that I can explore things with him. I could ask him what he thinks and know he cares.

    He hugged me as we were leaving (3-4 times). I wanted him to kiss me. It would feel so good to kiss someone who cares for me.

    I feel sad but it’s mostly a cover-up for fear. I’m seeing the relationship of my dreams arise from the ashes. It’s just not going to be with him.

    What now God? I did what You asked me to do. I shared with him everything I’ve been thinking and feeling.

    I feel scared and excited. I wonder what’s next. Something is shifting. Things are healing.

    Phew. Emotion overload.



  20.  #20Elayne on November 26, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Wow, SS, #19, that is big! I hope you’re taking care of yourself today.

    How do you all think this post fits together with CD’ing? I feel like I’ve mastered the goddess rock star attitude that RR talks about, but I don’t want to date every man that asks anymore, especially when they seem to be so lazy. This week I went on a first meeting with someone from OKC and the guy didn’t even bother showering before he showed up in shorts and jeans.

    I can’t help but think self love means turning down men that have already demonstrated that they are not going to step up.

    Example: OKC guy texted me for days, flaked on our first meeting, and when we finally met, he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. And he had the nerve to ask me if we could rent a movie so we could cuddle. Blech. No thanks.

    Ladies, what say you?



  21.  #21Senior Lady Vibe on November 26, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    20: Elayne says:

    “Example: OKC guy texted me for days, flaked on our first meeting, and when we finally met, he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. And he had the nerve to ask me if we could rent a movie so we could cuddle. Blech. No thanks. ”

    “Ladies, what say you?”

    I say “Ewwwww!” They can’t all be that bad can they…? That’s rather icky.

    SLV



  22.  #22Ella on November 26, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    SS,

    Wow, I hope you are ok.

    Sounds like a BIG learning experience and I can imagine might feel painful and confusing.

    I believe you will come out stronger and there will be something so much better for you.

    xx

    Hugs.



  23.  #23Ella on November 26, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    I feel so sad and heart achy. Lonely.

    Spent time with Mr Barman again last night. Again it was AMAZING. He was being all step upi which suprised me as he can be a bit fem energy feel.

    Well it was as though I drew the man out, like people were talking about on the old thread. It felt so good/natural.

    Well he asked me to come back to the pub tonight and I did but it just felt weird. I was tired and felt uncomfortable/shy as I felt like I was hanging around waiting for him. As he is still in a relationship it is not ok for us to just be romantic and too ‘together’ in the pub just yet and it left me feeling unsure of how to be and what to do.

    He did come over to be near me and sit with me and I tried using feeling messages but it just didn’t feel right tonight.

    I feel F-ing terrified. I don’t think I can open my heart to another man because my belief is that they only disappear… well that is my fear! And I know we are supposed to be ok with that (men are like rivers) but I am not. It is a massive trigger for me.

    Well I just felt akward.

    He asked me ‘where do we go from here?’ and I said I was following his lead.

    He has also asked to meet up with me away from the pub and I have said yes.

    He has made the decision to leave his relationship.

    I told him that I feel good spending time with him however I am going to keep a little distance until things are a bit clearer.

    I said I do not want to be hidden. He says he does not want me to be hidden.

    Last night he said he was falling for me.

    Tonight he asked me what I wanted and I gave him a version of the no G.friend speech. But I felt TERRIFIED! And confused.

    I mean I do feel like I want to be with him… but I don’t want to fall into the g.friend trap… but it is far too early to tell if we could be in a committed or marraige type scenario, as I do not yet know him that well.

    So we would just need to spend some time together.

    Well when I finished talking he simply said he is not looking for anything short term. I guess this is good.

    Well I left, even though I really wanted to stay with him… because I want a boundary. Ie, until he is no longer in a relationship I don’t want him to have so much access to me.

    This feels terrifying to me! I am terrified that he will lose interest. And I know this is kinda the point… and that this is his chance to step up.. and I have to allow that.

    I am fighting the urge to overfunction now… it is so strong!

    Cus I feel vulnerable.

    And I feel so scared cus with my ex it turned out our love wasn’t strong enough to weather the tough bits… this is a trigger. I have massive fear around being left and not clinging on…

    It feels very out there to simply let go because what if he changes his mind and stays in the relationship!!! I feel like I am letting him wander off, and I am frigthened that he won’t come back…

    This must be a self esteem thing as well as a trigger! Of not feeling enough.

    Maybe I can take this time to give myself some extra ‘self love’, focus back on me, while he is dealing with his situation. And then see what occurs.

    Wow I never knew it would be so hard not to overfuntion when the time came.

    And it felt frightening to tell him I didn’t want a relationship until it was going to be a proper comittment.

    But it is time to do something differently.

    I just feel like a child flailing around in the dark, with really no clue what I am doing. And terrified in case this doesn’t work… whatever that means!

    I feel all knotted up inside.

    And tonight I felt like such an idiot for feeling so inadequate, and I felt like I was oozing desperation and that everyone could see right through me when they looked.

    I hate feeling like this. Somtimes this feels like a backward step. As at least when I feigned confidence, generally I would tend to feel it as well.

    No I am just feeling whatever feeling it is at the time.



  24.  #24Ella on November 26, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Dear Mr Barman,

    I am feeling vulnerable and afraid to let go.

    I feel very attracted to you and when we cuddle it feels natural.

    I am finding it hard to trust. I don’t want to be a transition stage.

    I want to spend time with you when the situation is different.

    I feel terrified in case it is over before it bagan. I feel worried that by me saying this it will become reality.

    I want to reach for you but I don’t want to put you in a cage and I want to feel feminine and let the relationship flow in the most natural way.

    I feel nagative and I want to shift this and heal it.



  25.  #25Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    SS

    How gracious you are.
    I want to tell you this feels like a very painful experience for you.

    And I want to encourage you to sink right into the pain and embarrassment and sadness and feel it and then perhaps touch some self love there in the soup , because you are such a gentle , calm and magnificent Siren here at all times and I know this is your reality.

    And if you let yourself feel those things and then pass quickly through and into the light you will be back in the saddle .

    The only way out is through.

    Perhaps its time for a vigorous gallop off in a new direction!

    Your story touched me.
    My husband stopped loving me and shut himself off from me in a cold and long and lonely marriage. He was not interested in talking about it . Ever.
    I never was able to express any feeling to him about our sad situation. So I stopped feeling . I am so glad that you, on the other hand , were able to have this conversation , you are magnificent!.

    And its a good thing that you have these warm feelings for him as you know your sons likely will too.



  26.  #26Daria on November 26, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    I am the Cayenne Pepper Witch!

    and the Salt and Comfrey Oil Witch!

    sea salt and comfrey oil feels AMAZING after my shower

    oh my wow

    i’ve never had this much softening and moisturization

    i think the salt helps pull the oil in

    my feet and hands are heaven



  27.  #27Ella on November 26, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    I feel off balance… like knotty in belly.

    and that feels like, sicky and tired. Stretched too thin.

    Like scraping of marg on bread.

    Feel all tight and deperate.

    Hands and haed feel heavy.

    And I don’t feel like a strong, femine woman.

    Feel weak and vulnerable.

    But kinda ok too.

    Feels like cold and tighty shoulders.

    Cold shins… shaky.

    Tired for bed.

    Feels aching and sad.

    Feel lil’ Ella on own… by choice but scary.

    But feel ok. Actions matching words now.

    No crumbs… and that feels slowly getting ok.

    Like said I had no b.friend by choice and now he sees how that is true…

    But felt shut off, too leany back. Distant.

    Feels cold.

    Just wanted cuddle warm arms.

    Feels like a contridiction of wanting to be with you and the enforced distance your situation puts between us.

    Like nothing is real yet.

    And I feel scared in case ‘real’ doesn’t feel so good.

    and legs feel cold, especially left shin…

    and that feels like breathing a bit now… shoulders slumpy, easing up.

    wanting warmth. cuddle. feeling little, like child and vulnerable.

    Need comforting but have taken myself away from being comforted.

    Will find a way of comforting myself for now and soothing.

    Scared that was cold/distant tonight…

    But if this is real the none of this matters.

    Feel frighetened to find out if this is real…

    But necessary as don’t want/can’t live a lie anymore…

    SO want it to be real… and that feels like grabbing on…
    And that feels like huge tight and knotty in stomach and tense in body. Nervious system. Silly,

    and that feels alienated, like everyone looking in at me through glass and seeing, judging.

    And tonight I felt judgy. And that felt sad because I wanted to feel good.

    But I love my tighty feelings. I love my akward and my cold legs and shin and my tightness.

    I hear ya. You are trying to take care of me. I love you feelings.

    Is ok… sothing little Ella now.

    Strong inside. and don’t want overfunction.

    Want to make better.

    Love me and all my lil big feelings.

    Time for bed.



  28.  #28Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    Ella

    “Wow ,I never knew it would be so hard not to overfunction when the time came.”

    YES>>>>>>>>Me too !

    (Note to self … yes its ok to feel terrified he will disappear if you dont encourage/chase/mentor or be around him…in fact its even more ok to feel relieved if he DOES disappear , because then he patently is NOT offering the relationship you WANT!)

    Its the RELATIONSHIP that gets the focus , not the man himself.



  29.  #29Ella on November 26, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Oh, and I have totally neglected CD-ing with all this.

    Time to shift the focus again… back to me! Again.

    Good, back up on my horse. Here we go, who is coming this time…

    Oh, and it is interesting that I am away in London working for the next 2 weeks… hmmm, universe?? are you intervening here…

    Giving space for things to get sorted a bit?? Interesting timing huh?

    Plenty for me to do and think about for a while…

    This is just one thing. Not be all and end all…

    gotta watch and see if he even has all the qualities yet!

    Feeling a lil better/easier now. Like I can see my strong self again. I can see me again.

    Think I just got lost in a HUGE bunch of triggers! Like constant trigger weekend of being with him.

    Now me time. Shifting vibe back to me again. Chill out, relaxing the vibe. Becoming softer again.

    It has all been emotionally charged.

    I feel frightened in case I can’t do real and this vibe wears off on him and he starts to see it like that too…

    Like I only like EU men, addicted to the struggle, high emotion and drama a situation brings?

    But what if I can do real? What if this is good practice.

    It is ok to watch and see if he is really what I want. And he could be.

    Or not… but it is ok.

    I wonder! … 🙂

    Umm, that feels warmer. Better.

    Don’t want to judge him.. when I ‘feel’ him he feels good. like he is doing his best.

    Reject any behaviours not the person.

    I don’t reject him.

    And me? I feel slowly getting ok and level again…

    slowly.

    Ella, I am here… look, there is your horse, just there through the clearing. Lets get back on and ride on to see what it round the next corner.

    Feeelings are temporary.

    He didn’t buy me any drinks tonight. That felt weird. But later he shared his drink with me…

    He ‘told’ barmaid (my friend) to do something… sounded like an order. And I felt judgy, and me and her both commented… and then I felt bad, like I was nagging/controlling.

    Don’t want that.

    Wow it is good to work out what I do and don’t want.

    And this morning when he de-iced my car and then I said ‘thank you’ and it felt good.

    And tonight when he carried the box for me.

    But then I wish I had waited for a kiss but I couldn’t hold my ground tonight. Couldn’t outgirl him tonight.

    Baby steps Ella. You are doing good.

    I love you!

    Lovey, love you – kiss kiss, and then warm bed calling.

    Releasing tension, easing. Here we go.

    Ok to feel inadequate sometimes. I still love you and I will not abandon you.

    Neither will my horse.

    Here we go now… back to love.

    Return to love, warmth, focus on me feeling.

    Not worry about his feelings or guessing what he is thinking – NO not my business.

    Ow I am learning and it feels ok now.

    Love you Ella, and Ella’s cold legs and shin.

    Bed and warm.

    Night night kisses and cuddles to me… cuddling pliiow.

    warm, good. healthier… gettting good now.

    well done, big love, big praise.

    Big proud feelings and Ella doing well.



  30.  #30Ella on November 26, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Rosa!

    Yes, good.

    The relationship not the man… one of the things I find hardest.

    Focus back on me… on my horse.

    and working on the relationship… men don’t do so well with the focus on them anyway!

    🙂

    It is sooo cold here in UK right now.



  31.  #31Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    I have an opportunity to confront my overfunctioning head on and” feel” my way through, if G- man comes to care for me for a few days in December as he requested.

    G- Man and I lost the plot years ago about the energy exchange business. He was even bringing friends and family to me ,for me to “give” help to , one way or another . I would feel so unappreciated , when he didnt love me back.

    Currently the situation is;

    1. he has a GF in my city (he is 3 hrs flight away)not committed.

    2. he sees her and has tried ongoingly to see me each time hes in town . I put a stop to that when i realised i was being offered “crumbs”.I have been out of contact zone.

    3. lately he came to see me in hospital , and he asked to come back to sydney and care for me soon.

    4. The attraction is huge on both sides , he is emotionally a babe in the woods , and I was very “hard work” , (read masculine energy , overfunctioning ) for years. I accepted a relationship i did NOT want . And pined after the man himself.

    So , having done it all WRONG in the past , I hope I am learning here. I am seriously considering having him stay with me , NO SEX , and see how this feels when we spend quality time together again. I am going to continue my feeling statements and feminine energy lean back..

    Right now I feel scared
    I feel unsure
    I feel anxious lest i “relapse” into pining.

    I feel like a pendulum swinging…
    I also feel excited ,
    I feel warm being hugged,
    I feel pleasure talking to him
    I feel happy and giggly and girly when I think of him caring for me. (he is a great cook and very domesticated , and we have scrabble battles together 🙂

    So do I feel good or bad about the prospect of having him here giving to me , waterwheeling me with care ???

    ( NV says he cant commit to anyone and hes using me as an emotional wedge against GF girl…squidgy little NV , people turn on a dime , yes indeed , look at megrwoing here !)

    Umm I feel VERY VERY THRILLED



  32.  #32Brenda on November 26, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    (((Shannon and Ella))),

    Tight hugs!

    Love,
    Brenda



  33.  #33Brenda on November 26, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    (((Shannon and Ella))),

    Tight hugs!

    Love,
    Brenda



  34.  #34Ella on November 26, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    I can do real and it is all shifting… I feel it.

    I can do real and icky bits too. and take care of me.. walk away!

    Good Ella, good!

    🙂

    Warmy inside, still with little tinges of nervous.

    Look, I am healing myself.

    Do I want to be seen. Why?

    Was feeling insignificant earlier…

    Guess who just text me, te he.. just as my vibe was shifting…

    Hmmm, look at Mr fem energy being all masculine!! Hmmm, umm, feels nice!

    SMILE.

    Warm.



  35.  #35Ella on November 26, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    Heart beating for me.. stepping bcak, staying open.

    Heart beating inside for me..

    Focus on ME>ME>ME.

    Is right that way round.



  36.  #36Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    AND I have CD 2 bringing me Veuve Cliquot , nuts and chocolate tomorrow !! And I feel excellent and beautiful being showered with expensive gifts by M-man.

    I need to pick up some CD’s I think as soon as my body is a little more healed. Need new pics and new profile and new smiles!

    I feel excited to meet new men,
    I LOVE my new body!!!



  37.  #37Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Ella , I love you loving yourself , it feels so attractive !!!



  38.  #38Brenda on November 26, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    I feel happy after a day of sleeping in til 1:30 pm and then going shopping. Now I am watching a holiday kids’ movie. Not sure what it is, but it’s fun.



  39.  #39Brenda on November 26, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    I just changed my gravatar, so this ugly anorexic body I stuck my head in should be disappearing any minute! LOL!



  40.  #40Brenda on November 26, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    Ah yes, much better! Hehehe! 😆



  41.  #41Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    I am working on finding my dreams which comes under Point One ….

    When i lost my dreams
    I lost my bearings
    I lost my self love
    And I lost my soul..

    NOW I feel excited to do some dreaming exercises and find my dreams and passions.

    Does anyone have any exercises or links on this ???



  42.  #42Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    I love your Gravatar Brenda!!!
    Can you tell me how to load a pic?



  43.  #43Ella on November 26, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    Rosa,

    Wow, what progress… and interesting he is still here and around even after you were so masculine, overfunctioning etc…

    Hmmm, I think that as you are so aware you will not relapse, or at least not for more than a few short moments.

    I feel so much learning in your post.

    And yes, why not let him take care of you… if it feels good to you!

    I feel all proud when I see Siren’s who have turned around so much and become so aware.



  44.  #44Ella on November 26, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    Interesting that I feel super consious of what I am saying at the moment…

    Like I am questioning myself so much.

    Remants from feeling vulnerable earlier I think..

    Still a bit emotionally now… like fliggers of all the NV’s flashing but subsiding.

    I feel so good and amazed that I can actually work through my emotions and heal and turn them around.

    This is something I have NEVER been able to do before…

    I feel truly in awe!

    He he thank you Universe!



  45.  #45Ella on November 26, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    Rosa,

    Veuve Clique, chocolate and nuts! Woohoo…

    Brenda… sounds like you are having lovely holidays!

    🙂



  46.  #46Brenda on November 26, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    Rosa,

    Thank you! Go to www dot faceinhole dot com! It is so much fun! You can upload your photo into thousands of scenarios and characters! I love it! 😆



  47.  #47Rosa on November 26, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    And Brenda how to get the pic on here?

    Ella , Good One – healing your own emotions ..yaaaayyyy



  48.  #48Meemee on November 26, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    Sirens
    I woke up.
    All through my sleep I was dreaming X. I dont remember the dream, but he was there in the dream talking to me and touching me. I woke up with that feeling in my stomach.
    I felt helpless for sometime when I opened my eyes. You know that feeling, right?
    That feeling of uneaseness.
    I have to d lots of washing and packing and shopping today since I am going tomorrow.
    So back to work.
    Love

    Meemee



  49.  #49Simply Shannon on November 26, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    Thank you all for your sweet words! I feel good.

    I find it fascinating the comments to my post. I don’t feel devastated. I feel released… in a good way. Yes scared but released. I jumped out of the plane. I’m in free fall. Scary as hell. No back up plan. All on my own. But I’ve got my ‘chute on. It’s all good. I flung my heart out there. I feel vulnerable and good.

    He’s texted me several times tonight about the kiddos. Interesting…

    This is really surreal. We are in this grown up, for real relationship. I told him EXACTLY how I feel without blaming him, and he took it really well. Like a man. He’s a champ. No doubt. I have mad respect for him right now. I feel grateful for him.

    And even though I don’t know the outcome, it’s all good. I’m all good. My kids are good. I trust him.

    Wow. I mean, anything is possible. Everything is possible.

    I looked at him today and saw something I hadn’t anticipated. I saw a man I could respect where before he was a man I tolerated and did not trust.

    I can actually do this relationship thing. I think there was a part of me that was holding out, not believing, not trusting that it wouldn’t all fall apart. I just healed something deep inside of me that didn’t believe a relationship could survive some HUGE crappiness.

    We broke the mold. Dude changed right before my eyes. WE changed right before my eyes. Un-freakin’-believable.

    I feel excited. I wonder…



  50.  #50Meemee on November 26, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    Ella
    RE: 44

    “I feel so good and amazed that I can actually work through my emotions and heal and turn them around.

    This is something I have NEVER been able to do before”

    Wow!!
    I like it Ella.
    Meemee



  51.  #51Daria on November 26, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    91: Jeremiah says:
    Hello, I have a difficult situation and I need some advice… I dont wanna go into details just yet but I am just one man trying to find love, but love always seemed to be illusive. . . well until I met her. . . but see thats the problem.

    First off, I just want to say that I just met this chick a month ago yesterday. We had met at a concert and we instantly hit it off. I felt as though I was in a movie. We hung out after the concert and talked and talked and talked all night, so much in fact that she told me she felt physical pain from being away from me that next day… (if thats even possible). Anyhow after we left the concert she had told me she’s in an open relationship (witch I won’t criticize, because love means different things to different people), but I didn’t really think to much of it at the time because she was just some random chick to me then. So we exchanged numbers and went on our way. We now have talked on the phone for hours and went on a several dates since then, and have realized what it feels like to not experience time as a continuous cycle of the numbers pushing each other out of the way, but feeling like each moment I spend with her lasts a lifetime. So the story deepens, as we both feel we have a deeper spiritual connection than we both realize and feel that we have known each other in a past life.

    Anyways, once again I am forced to learn the things that have been the prevailing winds against my sails and fear has had both of us a few time wanting to “run away” from each other, yet when we both realize what we would be losing, we have instantly found that strange connection we felt at the concert and that has brought us unquestionably closer, as we have felt some calling, some higher spiritual guidance lending us a helping hand by learning from each other (though I hope for all the love thats inside my hearts thats not the only reason for us to have met.)

    Anyways I have not even told you the problem yet. I believe, its not a problem, but as the saying goes ” a caged bird may not wish to fly when released.”

    The truth is; I do not want to hurt her, nor myself, but am afried of all the possible outcomes that could end up hurting us both, yet feel that LOVE is on my side. She is a weird mix of characters, and I believe to have been one to always have a friendship relationship because of a few personal reason she has told me, I have realized that she has pain in her heart and just wants to be loved at all costs and feel that is the mindset most have when involved in open relationship, because the person they are with does not satisfy their desires, nor is the person they are suppose to end up with, but momentarily they need to satisfy their “craving” for excitement while still needing something “stable” and that is exactly whats happening here; sexual experiences separate from love experiences. I have always been one to feel that a Love relationship is a sacred gift and would never want to be in these kinds of relationship, yet ironically have been involved since I have met her. We have talked about our feelings and I have told her many times, what is it I want… I need! She has recently since been amazed at the character I am and all the moments we have spend together seem to have been more felt by her than I have experienced, but I have felt so intense feelings I do not understand how or just what she is feeling, because of this complex situation. The last time we hung out we wrote each other a letter and read them to each other and talked about what we felt, then both agreed that we would spend 5 days apart without any communication or contact at all, so we would be able to think about our lives, and our relationship, this is the second day.

    I have always been one to have a keen perception, but do not try to judge others at the same time. I would just like to empathically alter the situation (in the name of divine LOVE) in my favor, but feel selfish for trying to do so as I respect this other man and have hung out with both of them twice. At the same time I just want whatever makes her happiest and respect her in the highest spiritual since of the word. I empathically wish to find the woman I am suppose to be with, and if that is not her that is fine, I just wish to find out with the least amount of pain. Her and I are both very stubborn and if feel that is one of the only things holding us back from experiencing this Divine Love at its most grand visions as a spiritual intensity that our physical bodies can manifest as a “perfect” mate.

    “Is it possible the Earth turns, the stars dance, the comets sing; not because of gravity or Einstein laws, but because of the POWER OF LOVE.”

    As I wish the universe smiles upon all those with Love in their heart. Much Love, Thank you for your time.
    Jeremiah Hilbert

    Friday, 26 November 2010 @ 9:43am

    92: Rori Raye says:
    Jeremiah, Welcome, and you sound GREAT! You’re as romantic as we women! Okay – This is very interesting – you’re involved with a “taken” woman – but polyamory is the picture. And this woman doesn’t really want to be monogamous with anyone (yet) and you DO! with her! Here’s what I would do – enjoy it! And date other women! And SLEEP with other women (she’s not sexually faithful to you, is she?) if you want to. If and when you can’t stand it anymore, because you’re all hung up on her…drop her. If she’s not dropping the other guy for you now, she never will…I know of people who’ve lived in threesomes for years and years – but eventually, one of the men or women edges out the other. Perhaps, once comfortably within this three-way relationship, you could introduce another woman into the “family” — go with your gut, but don’t expect her to all of a sudden drop him for you…it could happen down the line, but the way to make this work is to be okay with it and have no expectations…if you make her all that important – she’ll turn off of you. Love, Rori



  52.  #52Daria on November 26, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    Simply Shannon – thas wassup!!

    =D



  53.  #53Daria on November 26, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Baybe baybe im fallin in love, fallin in love again…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc-1n5X8c54

    I’m feelin so excited… I was just watchin this video with Waka Flaka who is so damn handsome.. and TALL .. TALL.

    hehe

    and i was thinkin earlier how he looks like Sexy Cd who disappeared

    and righ tnow how he looks like Transformer Man whos been in love wit me for 10 years

    heheheheheheeee

    and i was imagining tellin my grandkids how i had the handsome ones hehehehee

    ANYWAY

    in the middle of it i get a blocked call on my itouch and i answered it…

    AND

    its SEXY CD!!!

    he wants to see me tomorro

    i told him i felt mad and stood up the last time and i dont want to feel liek that

    i said i dont feel angry… but i do feel a bit different than before…

    anyway

    he wants to see me

    he didn’t really seem TOO attentive to what i said about being stood up

    so i’m like hm

    i still feel distant

    but i also feel eXCITED!!!

    heheheheeee

    i want a new lover!!!



  54.  #54Daria on November 26, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    HAHAHAHHAA!!!

    SUCKERRRR!!!

    i knew you couldnt stay away from… ME!!!

    SUCKERRRRRr

    HAHAHHAAA

    I FEEL EXCITED

    I WIN

    I WIN

    I WIN

    (and here i was thinkin that IIIII had done something wrong by not calling him back when i missed the call on the date… and he’s not even really acknowledging it… he’s like he had to switch his number… if i had called him…)

    BUT I DIDNT!

    CUZ i dont call men

    SUCKER!!!

    hahahahahhahahhhaaaaa

    i got what you want right here DADDDDY lolll

    i feel on top of the world



  55.  #55Daria on November 26, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    cha cha

    i feel scared and a part of me wants to beat myself up that i feel excited to

    get a call and aasked to meet by Sexy CD

    because he HASNT stepped up he actually fu9ckin stood me up!

    but he’s sexy

    and i felt turned on and ish with him

    and it feels exciting

    and i LIKE feeling this way

    yayah!



  56.  #56Daria on November 27, 2010 at 1:36 am

    lol!

    some guy whose profile showed he was quite educated

    started iming me talking hella sexual

    and i have lingerie pics

    i told him i dont feel good with it

    he said im trying to act like hes dumb

    i told him i was feeling turned off
    thats what he didtn like

    anyway

    i said you have a right to say whatever you want

    hes like yeah but you dont since u have those pictures

    i said i do too

    like fuck you

    hes like
    fuck you more

    im like fuck your mama

    hes like wow
    does that make you feel better?

    im like

    well yes it does make me feel amused and a bit better

    and now im gonna run away from this convo cuz it doesnt feel good
    and i signed off

    hehe!

    i feel amused!

    go me!



  57.  #57Daria on November 27, 2010 at 1:37 am

    lol!

    some guy whose profile showed he was quite educated

    started iming me talking hella sexual

    and i have lingerie pics

    i told him i dont feel good with it

    he said im trying to act like hes dumb

    i told him i was feeling turned off
    thats what he didtn like

    anyway

    i said you have a right to say whatever you want

    hes like yeah but you dont since u have those pictures

    i said i do too

    like fuc*k you

    hes like
    fu*ck you more

    im like fuc*k your mama

    hes like wow
    does that make you feel better?

    im like

    well yes it does make me feel amused and a bit better

    and now im gonna run away from this convo cuz it doesnt feel good
    and i signed off

    hehe!

    i feel amused!

    go me!



  58.  #58Rosa on November 27, 2010 at 3:15 am

    It’s so quiet on here … everyone holiday weekend dating I hope.
    I am stir crazy in hospital . I want to leave NOW . I feel miserable and lonely and sad. My kids have to look after me when I’m home tomorrow or next day . I want to hug my dog . Uuiugh.

    I’m on phone now as Internet access died … Yik
    I feel sad and heavy tonight .

    GO DARIA!



  59.  #59Brenda on November 27, 2010 at 4:21 am

    Rosa,

    RE: #47 – First you have to sign up for the site, which is free. Then click on the tab, “Scenarios”. You can do a search by any subject, such as “funny”.

    Click on a photo to add your photo to. A moving circle will appear around the head. Click “Upload” button on the top of the photo. Select your photo. Use the tools at the top of the faceinhole photo to change the size, direction, alignment, and color.

    When you’re finished, click save on the top right. Then right click on the photo to save it to your hard drive.

    You can also take it to funtastic face dot com after that and add enhancements to it!

    Fun stuff!



  60.  #60marina on November 27, 2010 at 4:22 am

    Goodmorning Sirens,

    Dorothea ((((hugs)))) to you too, and to all the other wonderful Goddesses on Siren Island!!! 🙂
    Yesterday didn’t go as planned, there were still so many people outside waiting to get in to the party, it was a 1 out 1 in policy.

    So I just walked through the city and came back home.
    I did the welcome my brain into every cell of my body thing, but now I welcomed my heart and I felt warmth in everybody of my body.

    Might as well have been a little bit of fever, because I am really coming down with a cold.

    BF4 slept over at my place. We woke up from the telephone twice. Then he really woke up and said, shit, Saturday’s I have to put the parking card in the car from 12h right? I said, oh yeah, that’s right, it is already 12.30.
    He then started to be grumpy and said, I didn’t even sleep with all of those phonecalls and now I also have a cold, while I didn’t want to have one this year (he had terrible bronchitis and sinusitus last year), if I had known that you had one, I hadn’t come down to your place. I said. I feel a bit guilty, I am sorry honey.

    Then he rushed out the door while saying, M, I really hope I don’t have a parking fine. Yeah, I hope so too.

    Hmmmpppfffff, whatever. I am not even going to call him and ask if he had a parking ticket. I feel I am no boxing ball, I feel I am not here to be accused of giving him a cold. I feel I am not the one he can put his grumpyness to.
    I feel I couldn’t find the words to express that. I feel angry.
    I feel strong.
    I feel sad.

    Blah, I am going to climb with my climbing buddies and climb the fever away, wooohooo 😀

    Hope you will all have a fabulous day!
    Ciao, Marina



  61.  #61Scarlet on November 27, 2010 at 5:42 am

    Rosa: Last year I was sick and I did extensive research and found an amazing Chinese doctor in Orlando, FL. His patients are mostly with people terminal illness or chronicle illness. I stayed there for two months seeing him treating his patients and even interviewed his patients. therefore I know he’s the best Chinese doctor who does miracles. I have been healed and with other Chinese diet philosophy and daily practice, I’m a totally new person. the website is hantang.com.

    Good luck. Chemical only repress symptoms with crazy side effects. Operation removes the bad parts but doesn’t remove the source or change the environment.



  62.  #63Mystyk on November 27, 2010 at 8:27 am

    SLV @18

    Have you tried Ravelry? It is an online community for knitters and crocheters – lots of links to free and for pay patterns. I know I have seen some very flirty skirts and dresses there.

    You get to see how other people have made the patterns, what yarn they used, see REAL WOMEN of all sizes in lovely creations. A wonderful resource for all the subcultures of knitters/crocheters. Dating, Tattoos, people into all kinds of things. It is a lot of fun.

    Peace



  63.  #64Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 8:37 am

    @61: Mystyk says:

    “…SLV @18
    Have you tried Ravelry? It is an online community for knitters and crocheters – lots of links to free and for pay patterns. I know I have seen some very flirty skirts and dresses there…”

    OMG!!! Yes! I just signed up and I’m over there right now! We sirens have ESP!

    My DDIL has been after me to join but I wasn’t in the “knitting” mood–no doubt you know what I mean… even after she showed me a bunch of projects last week…she has several CON (“currently on needles”… 😀 ) But I got jazzed with crochet skirt little granddaughter wore to Thanksgiving Day dinner party.

    I just peeked in here while my e-mail is loading so that I can pick up my Ravelry log-in. 😆

    This is so fun! Do you have a notebook of projects online? I’m going to pick up log in now…

    Hurrah and peace to you too…

    SLV



  64.  #65marina on November 27, 2010 at 8:44 am

    Climbing feels so gooooood to me
    I love to feel like a spiderwoman or a monkey on the wall
    I love to get to the top of a climbing route that seems impossible from the ground
    I love to take babysteps if a route feels difficult
    I love to take a break when I can’t solve the climbing puzzle
    I love to feel my body work to get me up higher
    I love to feel my feet carry me on those tiny steps
    I love my hands when they are grasping those stones
    I love to feel my muscles when they are holding me close to the wall
    I feel so strong
    I feel happy to compete with my climbing buddies
    I feel happy when we are having fun
    I feel loved when they applaud me
    I feel proud to see them climb and make it to the top, I feel proud when I see them learn something new
    I feel happy when I get better at climbing
    I feel all warm inside
    I feel satisfied
    I feel a bit sleepy

    I feel that BF4 was worried about his health
    I feel I want us to be happpy and not grumpy when we are together
    I feel I want to take a breath and feel my feelings before I do or say or think anything
    I feel I want to start using feeling messages, but I feel I don’t know how yet

    Phew

    I am going to read your stories in this thread
    I feel I can get so much wisdom from all of your stories and I feel I want to send you all a big hug for being who you are and sharing your journeys!
    🙂

    Ciao, Marina



  65.  #66Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 8:53 am

    Had a busy day. Went to see my nephew. Had to do some shopping for the trip and appontment with dr, some work in the bank.
    Feeling tired.
    Something aches deep inside my heart 🙁 🙁
    Meemee



  66.  #67Honey on November 27, 2010 at 8:54 am

    Meemee –

    What’s up with X’s “girlfriends”? Why did one “warn” you that he had something to show you? I don’t like the “girlfriends”…they sound like bitches…I don’t like mean girls. I’m glad you are getting away from them all for awhile.

    I’m glad you are getting some time to work on your doctorate. This is something you are doing for you. AND a good reminder of what a smart and capable woman you are. While you are away working, any chance that you can get dressed up and go someplace where you can flirt in the evening? It would be so good for you. It could feel great to get in touch with that sexy, sireny part of yourself while you are in a good place.



  67.  #68Honey on November 27, 2010 at 8:57 am

    Meemee –

    Of course something aches deep in your heart…you are letting go of someone you loved. Even though you know you need to do it, it still hurts like hell. You are not only letting go of him, you are letting go of all your dreams of a future with him.

    Someday someone will come along who will cherish you and you will think, “Oh, THIS is what it’s supposed to feel like.” Don’t settle for less than the best.



  68.  #69Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 9:01 am

    @Honey

    Hi Honey. I hope you have returned for a while. I missed you.

    SLV



  69.  #70Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 9:04 am

    @Meemee

    Honey is right about the getting glamoured up while you are on your trip. Who knows what could happen? You are certain to feel very good while you are on this adventure.

    SLV



  70.  #71luzydel on November 27, 2010 at 9:10 am

    Well on thursday I had to cancel date with Spain Guy, I was feeling sick and unlike before that I used to do anything just to go meet a guy, now I take care of my needs first, so I stayed home resting. Suposedly today we will meet but I have not heard form him yet.

    Yesterday I went on a date with A very nice guy (H2 guy), he treated me very nice and gave me so many compliments. I am open for a second date with him if he ask, how ever I explained to him that I will not get into a relationship with anyone, until the man proves to me that he will commit. He seemed to understand so far; also leaning back worked, he put his arms around me, keep saying how beautiful I look, loved my eyes etc. etc. How amazing it is to do so much, by actually doing nothing and being open to his compliments. 🙂

    Something that sort of made me unconfortable was that he brought up his ex a few times, she cheated on him and now is living with the other guy etc. I wanted to use feeling messages, but I got stuck and just diverted the conversation. If we get the chance to meet again and this happens, I want to use a good feeling message…Any suggestions? I am going on dates to practice being open with my feelings and men, so the outcome doesn’t really matter.



  71.  #72Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 9:24 am

    Honey
    Re:65, 66
    I am so glad that you are here again. I missed you a lot in the last couple of days. I wished you were here as you used to be.
    I dont know whats wrong with all his girlfriends. Yesterday I met another one online and she was telling me how depressed she feels and how X is the only one who drags her to office and makes her work. She is married and yeah she is the one who happened to see X hugging me once and she is the one I had to go and explain things. Well. They all do that. They talk about him to me. I have no idea why. I get irritated when they do this.
    This one has been asking me to share with her what I am being uoset about.
    Something is wrong, I believe
    Meemee



  72.  #73Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 9:32 am

    Honey and SLV
    I am going to this city for the first time and I am supposed to be working sitting in the government archives and looking at all the colonial land records 🙂 🙂
    I am not sure whether I will get many chances to go out. Also there are not many cities in India where you get cool hangouts.
    There is something that makes meeting men impossible here or at least for me. I dont know if it is only because I have never tried.
    Also I hate men who make unnecessary sexual advances. Some men I knew made such advances because I smoke. Can you belive? One of them told me also, since I smoke he thought I will be interested in casual sex.
    I hate such perverts.
    Meemee



  73.  #74Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Honey
    RE:66

    “Of course something aches deep in your heart…you are letting go of someone you loved. Even though you know you need to do it, it still hurts like hell. You are not only letting go of him, you are letting go of all your dreams of a future with him.”

    Spot on.
    This morning when I was cooking, I was thinking when will i make it happen that he is there in my life, in office, in the social circles, and yet I turn indifferent to his presence.
    It is possible and it will happen, right?
    Meemee



  74.  #75Hadassah on November 27, 2010 at 10:10 am

    Glad to be back here reading and posting! Rosa – so glad to see you are back on here and seems like things are going ok for you so far!

    I went out Monday and actually got myself some new clothes. Some sexy skinny jeans I have been wanting forever, and some boots I was lusting after. It felt great to splurge some.

    I have been responding to any and all emails from OK Cupid and POF that seem even remotely promising. So I always have men to talk to and men that flirt with me. Which is a HUGE ego boost after my ex bf who was always making comments about how “I am so pretty, but if only I could lose 15 pounds”. Well these guys sure don’t seem to mind the 15 pounds!

    Anywho, I am 28 going on 29, and a man that is turning 40 Monday emailed me. I REALLY liked his profile, I enjoyed his emails, he seems very forthcoming. Asked for my phone number a couple of days into emailing then asked if he was being too forward. Oh I just about melted when he did that. The age difference is a bit of a concern. Just a bit. I am an old soul; I have always been attracted to men that are at least 6-8 years older than me, and he is still a handsome guy. He has texted me every morning, sporadically throughout the day, and asked permission to call me tonight.

    I actually got my astrological birth chart done and learned some things about myself. One thing that REALLY stood out for me was that it said I don’t like stagnation in any part of my life at any time and especially not in relationships, which could cause me to end relationships out of boredom and means I don’t give men enough of a chance. Could very well be true.

    I am sitting here pondering this with this man, who never had children but wants them, works in his family’s business and gets to make his own hours but makes ok money, and is so far doing everything I could hope and ask for, I am wondering if I am going to give him a fair shot, or decide that he is too “boring” and “safe” and run like hell away from it.

    I think about my daughter’s sperm donor and how toxic he was and just how wrong for me, and I tried and tried and hoped it would work out. I think about my most recent ex bf who made me feel like “if only I was thinner. If only I had bigger boobs, etc. then he would love me.” Do I really disrespect myself so much I can’t HAVE a loving, wonderful relationship?

    Am I really afraid of commitment and true intimacy so I go for the guys that are emotionally unavailable so some part of me just KNOWS it wont work out? I hate to think that about myself, but I am really starting to wonder.

    I have no true expectations about this man, but I remain hopeful he is what he says he is. I guess I just really needed to sit and put this out there for my own sake. I don’t want to keep falling for men that are so very wrong for me that can’t give me what I want, but I wonder what I am going to do if I find a man that does do what I want and is the real deal. It’s terrifying to me right now.



  75.  #76Honey on November 27, 2010 at 10:13 am

    Meemee –

    Yes, it will happen. But it will take awhile…probably a long while, because you have been with him such a long time.

    Something is weird about the girlfriends. I think he has told them something weird, like maybe you have a “thing” for him but he is not interested – something that helps him keep his cover.

    The culture is different in India, so I don’t know where one would meet men. Do people do online dating there like Match.com? I meet great men on there…my search criteria specifies a relatively high income and at least a Bachelor’s degree. I meet a lot of businessmen and professionals that way. I have a Master’s degree and do best with someone who is also educated. My dad has a PhD and all my colleagues a Master’s or PhD. You are going for your PhD, so you would probably be happier with someone who is similarly educated. Be picky. You don’t HAVE to go out with anyone…only someone who seems great to you. I maybe get 10 to 30 contacts for every one guy I go out with…but it may be different there.

    What are you getting your PhD in?



  76.  #77Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 10:20 am

    @71 Meemee says:

    “…I am not sure whether I will get many chances to go out. Also there are not many cities in India where you get cool hangouts.
    There is something that makes meeting men impossible here or at least for me. I dont know if it is only because I have never tried….”

    Will you be teaming up or working with another young woman there? This might make it easier “to go out.” You could go sit together and have a tea or coffee or take your meals together. Do you have relatives there or friends of relatives that you might meet and they could go out with you?

    SLV



  77.  #78Honey on November 27, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Meemee –

    I don’t think you will eventually feel total indifference toward X because he has treated you so badly. Once you have been with someone who treats you well, I think you will have negative feelings toward him. But I hope you won’t hate him because that would only hurt yourself.

    Meemee, us older ladies have all had our share of mistakes regarding men. Unfortunately, I married mine which set me on a course of distruction for years – I did everything to make it work, but it was futile. And I ended up with 3 special needs kids to raise alone. He was my first lover and I was 26 when we met. I know how connected I felt to him. Now I look back and wish I had someone to advise me. I was so naive and so open. But maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference in the end.

    You will look back at this someday. You will not be glad for the hurt, but you will take away wisdom from it and will choose more wisely next time because you know more now. And someday, you will help another young woman in a similar situation…life just works that way.



  78.  #79Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 10:21 am

    Honey
    I am getting a PhD in cultural studies. I work on the property ownership models that are not guaranteed by state and i am looking at indegenous and tribal land movements in India.
    Meemee



  79.  #80Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 10:29 am

    I’m ooh-ing and ah-ing over the patterns at Ravelry. There is a prototype skirt kinda of that I could use and it’s similar to that classic 1916 skirt but I’d still need to redesign it because I want a shorter skirt and one that starts the flounce up higher, this pattern is more of a “trumpet skirt.”

    I want one that looks more like gores or godets set higher up at the hip. Looks like I’ll have to design that… Also, so far the Ralvery designs are gauged for larger needles and yarn, sport or even DK, good because it’ll work up quicker, and the stitches are larger too, you could poke a finger through…

    But…, heehee, I really want finer yarn and a lot of “sc stitches” so it looks like textured cloth, flowing, flippy textured cloth…! 😀

    The “little black dress” and “cap sleeve pullover” are also divine! and come in all sizes up to 3X! Who knew?! although i won’t need the largest size and I hope I can lose a few pounds which will save me thousands of stitches…

    I’m so excited, each pattern has dozens of photos of completed projects complete by many different Ravelry members.

    SLV



  80.  #81Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 10:44 am

    Honey and SLV
    A fellow phd scholar is joining me in the trip, so I will get time to go out and dine out.
    This is the first time I am going to that city so I feel excited and tensed.
    But I feel so happy about the trip because I will get time to take care of myself. I can stop obsessing about when I am gonna bump into X in office and the general worries about X and Co.
    Meemee



  81.  #82Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 10:47 am

    @73Hadassah

    “…The age difference is a bit of a concern…”

    If it means anything, my parents were about those ages when they met, my father 12 years older. They married and were together until he died almost 35 years later. I sure remember lots of good times. He was always very active, had a trim physique (with “6-pack”) and a full of head of hair all of his life. Looked like a movie star!

    Maybe be open and see what happens.

    SLV



  82.  #83Senior Lady Vibe on November 27, 2010 at 10:48 am

    uh-oh. another SLV typo. I guess i’d beter go back to the patterns.



  83.  #84Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Honey re:74
    “Something is weird about the girlfriends. I think he has told them something weird, like maybe you have a “thing” for him but he is not interested – something that helps him keep his cover”

    I am sure he did or said something weird. There are 5 women he hangs around with- his “girlfriends” that exhausts half the female population in my office. So it feels very weird and it hurts when they come and tell me how they had a nice time watching a play, going for a movie etc.
    One of them invited me for a party today but I didnt go because I did not want to end up being with him in a party with his female company.
    Meemee



  84.  #85Meemee on November 27, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Honey
    My dream is to transcend him and the bad memories associated with him. I do not want to hate them, I dont want to bypass them.
    I want to walk in my office one day, with he coming opposite to me and I want to pass him without shuddering at what he has done to me.
    Doesnt it sound wonderful.
    I felt good the moment I wrote these words 🙂 🙂 🙂
    Meemee



  85.  #86Hadassah on November 27, 2010 at 11:11 am

    Thanks SLV – I think that fear is from my grandma, who is on husband #3 because she has a “thing” for men that are at least 12 years older than her. I guess I should just focus on how awesome things are with us, if they are, and think about how great it would be to spend any amount of time with an amazing man versus feeling cheated about a few years due to the age thing!



  86.  #87Daria on November 27, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    ugh.. i dont like this woman. i feel distant and turned off from her

    snobby and ignorant are judgements that come up

    shallow… not seeing deeply… grasping out outward things for self esteem… Not open minded, not tolerant…

    not living from joy

    thank you judgements

    i dont like this… i dont like seeing this

    this isn’t true

    cuz it feels bad

    babysteps



  87.  #88Daria on November 27, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    “The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” ~Henry Miller



  88.  #89Rosa on November 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Scarlet thank you so much and I will look up that website for the Chinese doctor.

    Marina you are doing great . I love how you are thinking and you know your feeling statements are works in progress!!
    I am only know starting to really catch my feelings and state them as FEELINGS. It feels great to get out of my head .

    Daria provided a fantastic example over sexyCD man who called her? @55.
    I just love that you felt triumphant and na na ne na na ish! I felt exactly them same that G man can’t stay away ! I WIN feelings … Mine were hidden from my conscious mind till Daria expressed her feelings this way.

    Could this be how men are drawn to us when we give our feeling messages clearly? I begin to get it… A feeling empathy that is unconscious ….how cool is that…. No wonder it works so like magic!!!!

    Daria rocks!



  89.  #90Rosa on November 27, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    I am now considering all the feelings that are triggered in me by “unconscious empathy” when you Goddesses express your feelings..

    SLV – I love that flippy-skirt feeling . I feel soft and everything is very much more possible in a flippy skirt! I have decided to sew one when i get home , I have it ready to go… I love your flippy feeling of excitement because then I get to feel my excitement too.

    Marina- you feel angry at some guys lack of sympathy and rudeness, GOOD , enjoy the angry feelings ..I feel angry too ! I love your angry feelings because then i get to love mine too. 🙂

    And I have noticed something BIG
    When I feel and own my negative feelings of rage or pain or fear they automatically extinguish themselves, they kind of run out …

    When i own and feel my joy and happiness and relief and pleasure and excitement and fun and humour and feel good stuff , they sort of EXPAND ..

    Now thats interesting …



  90.  #91Rosa on November 27, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    Daria ‘s blade of grass reminds me of a favourite poem by Mary Oliver….

    The Summer Day

    Who made the world?
    Who made the swan, and the black bear?
    Who made the grasshopper?
    This grasshopper, I mean-
    the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
    the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
    who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
    who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
    Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
    Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
    I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
    I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
    into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
    how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
    which is what I have been doing all day.
    Tell me, what else should I have done?
    Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
    Tell me, what is it you plan to do
    With your one wild and precious life?

    I love that the grasshopper is an object , just an amazing thing to observe (one of Rori’s tools)
    and she was doing it all day , just idly strolling through the fields and kneeling in the grass and BEING , not doing anything at all, and after all what else should she have done???

    REALLY COOL



  91.  #92Jean on November 27, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Hi goddess, haven’t posted in awhile. the cd’ing is wearing me down! I have spent the last 3 months doing the internet thing as there are no places in this(small) town to meet men. ZERO success on the eye connecting at the grocery store, gas station, etc…ZERO..have figured out that most men simply don’t do the eye connect anymore either, even though I still…after 3 months…keep trying. The internet dating is so on again off again, its frustrating…takes weeks to get to talk on the phone, to try to get to meet and then its like I am lucky if its one guy every 2-3 weeks, impossible to find enough guys to do the 3-4 a week! plus again, so many out of town, very few even on the internet here in town. any suggestions?



  92.  #93Rosa on November 27, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    Brenda thanks I am having a lot of fun with my face !

    Plum thanks for the link ,I love it, I have been failing brilliantly and with “undeniable tenacity ” in my relationships and isnt that a great thing as i gallop onwards… ?

    Ho Hum , every one is asleep or hopefully hot holiday dating in the US of A .

    Its near 11 am , last day in hospital ..planning my new profile for online , photos need doing soon as i get my colour back..any good photo suggestions for profiles?



  93.  #94Daria on November 27, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Carisa mom shared with her that she felt mad at her

    For not doing something she asked… But Daria Had done it.

    Darias mom is now attacking Daria regarding something she decided to help Daria with, that Daria hadn’t asked for help with. And she’s mad cuz Daria is not on her schedule of taking over Darias stuff.

    This attacking ish is not what Daria wants.

    Earlier Daria cried a lot because she tried to tell her mom that anyone can learn anything even singing, because Darias mom thinks she can’t sing. She also said she Diesnt believe in earning a living. Darias dad told her to leave the room. That felt sooo bad tho it happens frequently.

    So she cried a lot.

    Then after she ate she gave thanks which included the people who bought it and the one who ate, herself… And she felt better.

    Daria is feeling overwhelmed at how frequently attacks and intense bad ferlings get triggered in her family. Her Babysteps are really showing now though.

    Daria is strong and beautiful and open and deep.

    And she’s gina sign up for government assistance which makes her payments to DUI class minimal… Plus shell have foodstamps to get good food at wholefoods, and maybe natural soap and toothpaste too..,

    And she’s gona love herself every step.



  94.  #95Daria on November 27, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Hehe not Carisa but Daria. Cool name Carisa



  95.  #96Daria on November 27, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Thanks Rosa.

    Daria isn’t Gina beat herself up that she hasn’t figured out this money thing yet. Daria is still a worthy person like every human.



  96.  #97Rosa on November 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Hi Jean ,

    hey I am in hospital and I still am CD’ing :)I am in a Man -Cloud , real life , phone, and internet.

    Actually on FB which at my advanced age has been interesting,. but i am finding LOTS of old friends there from 30 years ago , and a little e- CDing going on !

    Plus sharing very old photos online etc..
    Plus had some “dates’ visit and call .

    I FEEL in the centre of my man-cloud..
    i keep feeling them gently buzzing around me. Sometimes one lands right on me and we laugh and chat in person, sometimes they are just “there” buzzing !

    I think CD’ing is about the mind set more than the numbers.

    I am actually wondering why it takes weeks to get to phone status? Is this their doing or yours?
    Daria suggested several threads ago how to hurry this up and used excellent feeling messages to do so.



  97.  #98marina on November 27, 2010 at 5:13 pm


  98.  #99Brenda on November 27, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Hi Rosa!

    Glad you are enjoying faceinhole while you’re in the hospital! A good profile picture would be you holding a dildo! Yeah! LOL!



  99.  #100Brenda on November 27, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    I love faceinhole!



  100.  #101Brenda on November 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I realllllllllllly loves faceinhole!



  101.  #102Siena on November 27, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    SS, I wrote a whole post and then just erased it. No advice from me, just sending love and hugs!! xoxo



  102.  #103Siena on November 27, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    A year and a half ago I dated a guy who I totally fell for. I wasn’t a siren then and it spun out of control and we broke up. One month later he was dating a skank and when I asked him about it back then, he told me how very sorry he was how things worked out between us, and that he was in love with her. A few months later, I found Rori, partly to mend the hurt from that relationship.

    Yesterday (1.5 years later) I received a call from him asking me out, totally out of the blue. I was stunned, and point blank said something like, “1.5 years ago you broke up with me, and very soon thereafter you were in love with X. Why should I go out with you again?”

    His reply, “I’ve spent the past year turning my life around, and I realize now that I made a really bad decision all those months ago. I’m not saying that I want to jump into anything, but we were really good together, and I thought I’d take a chance to see what happens”

    I was totally speechless. Still am. I don’t know how I feel about this, although it is an ego boost to have him want to see me again.

    I’ve changed so much since then, and have met some incredible men who wouldn’t dream of treating me badly.

    Hmmm, I dont want to overthink this, but just working out my feelings.

    I feel happy – I told you!!
    I feel distrustful – are you just looking to get laid?
    I feel excited – could you be the one?
    I feel sad – I wish you were someone else. Or more accurately, I wish I had received this call from #1CD, who I still miss!
    I feel torn – I don’t want to go down a road where I get hurt again, but I do want to see if our old spark is still there.

    Ugh.



  103.  #104Laughing Goddess on November 27, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    Siena: this just proves the theory that they always come back 🙂



  104.  #105Daria on November 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    ugh!

    i hate myself

    i hate myself for not doing the stuff i want to do

    maybe i dont want to do it

    maybe i just want to say i did it

    or have it done

    or maybe i Do want to do it

    where is my fu9ckin webcam

    where???

    cuz i was gonna practice
    but now

    FU(ck you!

    and all 3 cd’s got canceled for various reasons

    mr sexy cd didnt text

    fu9ck you mr flaky cd

    is your new name now

    and then this cd that texts me EVERY day rolls eyes

    more like very hour
    had me callhim

    and he was DRUNK

    and if elt angry and drained

    and told him i dont want to tlak

    HA

    ugh

    i dont want to talk to a drunk man

    fuc0k you

    that cee lo song is about to come on now



  105.  #107Daria on November 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    im SO MAD!!!

    an my FU9ck in EFT isnt workin

    if i was richer i still be witya

    aint that some shit
    im sorry

    cant afford a ferrari

    but that dont mean i dont live well

    i guess u an xbox

    an im an atari

    and that shit dont fit u well

    see u driving round town wit the girl i love

    and im like FU(CK YOU

    ANA FU(CKL HER TOO

    cryin

    so much fu9ckin frustration

    ugh

    THIS FUC(KIN FAMILY STRESS IS DRAINING ME

    i cant even see past a freakin 100 dollar fine

    that shit aint shit

    wtf

    this isnt how i want to handle shit

    i dont want to be drained

    i dont want to be attacked and cry tears several times a day

    UGHHHH

    so maddddd
    d

    and I GEAT TREATED SO FU(CKIN BAD



  106.  #108Daria on November 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    an all the bit9ch ass men who swore they help me have abandoned me

    in cluding hovering man 0oohh ur the one i wanna marry FU(CK YOU!!

    anda toronto fuc9kface ohhh im gonna send u 200 this is So not a problem come to toronto

    then CRICKETS

    FU(CKYOU BITCH

    and ITALIAN MAN

    ohh im gonna call the agency i really want to help you im so lookin forward to helpin you with everything i can then

    CRICKETS

    FU(CK YOU TOO!

    and FLAKY CD OH I WANNA BE THERE FOR U THEN

    DISAPPEAR

    FUC(K YOU TOO!!!

    all my brothers who aint been tryan get in touch with me or pick me up

    fu9ck you!

    fu9ck all of you



  107.  #109Daria on November 27, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    feelin a bit better after crying and now im uploading videos i like to my ipod and…

    its all good…

    its enough for ME to believe in me



  108.  #110Daria on November 27, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Healing the parts that don’t want to heal~by Jacqui Crooks

    ——————————————————————————–
    All parts of you have a positive intention, it’s just that the strategy they’ve chosen to achieve that positive intention, is no longer working.

    Self sabotage comes about when two or more parts of you, which may have the same overall intention, are using different methods to achieve that outcome. This means, that as one part of you is succeeding in its aim, another part will try and succeed in its aim, but in a different way. This results in the familiar, push/pull, stop/start of self sabotage.

    It is possible to work with the part of you that is holding on to the old redundant behaviour, to create more useful, more effective and more creative strategies to achieve the same positive outcome, without creating the battle.

    Identify an area where you’re self sabotaging, or procrastinating. Look for the two opposing strategies, e.g. “I want to get that flyer out, so my business is successful,” as opposed to, “I don’t want to do that flyer”,

    You get the idea?

    There are many ways to work with self sabotage and one of the simplest is to have a conversation with the two opposing parts. The parts are so used to you fighting them and/or trying to ignore them that this can be surprisingly successful.

    Scale the resistance to doing what you really want to do.

    Start tapping.

    Even though part of me wants to … … Your words … … And part of me doesn’t, I deeply and completely accept both those parts.

    Even though part of me wants to … … And part of me doesn’t, I deeply and completely accept both those parts, because they’re doing the best they can.

    Even though part of me wants to … … And part of me doesn’t, and they’re doing the best they can and it’s not working, I deeply and completely accept both those parts, anyway.

    Head – Doing the best they can
    Beginning of Eyebrow – And it’s not working
    Side of eye – I love and accept them anyway
    Under eye – Part of me wants to,
    Under nose – And part of me doesn’t
    Chin – They’re OK anyway
    Collarbone – And I’m OK
    Under arm – I’m doing the best I can too.

    E T Those parts want the best for me, I’m OK
    ET It’s likely that both parts want me to be safe and happy, I’m OK
    ET both parts want me to be safe and happy and they’re going about it in different ways, I’m Ok and so are they, and we’re all doing the best we can.

    Wanting me to be safe
    Wanting me to be happy
    In different ways
    I thank them for that
    And I’d like to invite them
    To consider
    Whether that job might be easier
    If they found a new way to work together

    E T both parts want the best for me in their different ways, I love and accept them
    ET both parts have been using lots of energy battling with each other, they’re OK
    ET both parts have been battling, I’d like them to consider getting together and discussing new ways to work together that will fulfil both of their positive intentions, in a safer and healthier way than fighting each other. And I deeply and completely accept all parts of me no matter what they do.

    Getting together
    Finding new ways to work together
    That are safer and healthier
    And a lot more fun
    Than battling
    Thanking them for their hard work in the past
    And even more for their work in the future
    When they do it differently

    Pause, Have a drink of water and check your scale of resistance.

    As you tapped you may have noticed some lovely tail enders coming up from the parts that don’t want you to move forward. Write them down and then tap on them. Eg

    E T people will think the flyer’s rubbish
    ET They’ll judge me
    ET no one will read them
    ET I might be overwhelmed by work

    When any tail enders are cleared go back to working with the parts. You can use the same statements as before, or change them if that fits better. Keep tapping and checking. You might be very surprised what comes up and even more surprised at the results!

    Jaqui Crooks, EFT Master



  109.  #111Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    ohoh! this is lovely!

    this accepting of both parts!

    of COURSE they both want the best for me!

    one part wants me to do affiliate marketing and be prosperous and successful… to be happy

    and another part doesnt because it wants to protect me from feeling like a jerk! and from doing something that i feel unsure of whether it is honest and feel good!

    yes they Both want me to be happy!

    oh i get it

    ohhh

    Jaqui Crooks is WONDERFUL!!!

    try tapping to this video if you are moved to do so…
    it feels wonderful to me:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QejV7K3iYo



  110.  #112Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    tail enders: you’ll be doing something dishonest…this is false…

    this isn’t what’s best for you

    this isn’t aligned with your true self

    this feels icky

    this is empty… substanceless

    this makes you a bad person



  111.  #113Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    there is no BEST for me!

    every choice is wonderful! exploration and joy!

    everything can be “best” at different times

    just like there are lots of colors… all lovely!

    orange and turquoise, and pink….

    there is no ‘best’ color

    and i won’t miss out by pikcing one

    they are all lovely and i will always come around and experience everything i desire

    all paths are lovely!



  112.  #114Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    “its too scary”

    i just asked the part of me that thinks its too scary…

    to ask for help from another part of me that ISNT scared

    and that part will hold her hand the whole way through…

    and it will feel like a fun adventure !

    thats what i want!

    to feel held by the hand

    it feels lovely!

    i feel happy and admiring of myself to have thought of it!



  113.  #115janjune on November 27, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    hi daria,
    im just not sleepy yet so got on here to see what’s going on…

    what’s the affiliated marketing? is that what feels scary and a little bad? i mean do you have a marketing idea for your ideas?
    i haven’t been keeping up on here…

    just watched the jacki tapping vid you posted and some others, kinda started tapping along… ive never done it before 🙂



  114.  #116Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    I LOVE this way of asking parts of me that DO feel safe

    to come in and encourage and protect us!

    it feels so lovely!

    omg

    I AM ALWAYS aligned with my true self

    its impossible to separate us

    I AM my true slef

    it is my gift and my blessing

    liek everyother being

    allowing that magic to be felt

    from deep in my marrow

    all the way through

    =)

    i am gona be an awesome healer

    im already a damn good creative one



  115.  #117Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    Janjune – you come in at the magic hour again beautiful Goddess

    i feel happy to see you

    a wonderful sign like a beautiful bird



  116.  #118Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    it FELT scary… it doesnt really feel scary anymore

    *tilts head to the side and *smiles

    yes…

    I’ve been checking out Maria Andros’s videos, especially the third one,

    soo

    the plan is:

    make a beautiful video about something

    put it on youtube naming it with the right words to get SEO placement and traffic

    and put link to an affiliate webpage underneath

    Tadah… get profits from people buying from taht affiliate

    but i feel bad taht i wouldnt actually know much or care about taht affiliate product and it might even suck *still left to tap



  117.  #119Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    then Honey and others who think my life is not worthy of help can su*ck it

    (sorry Honey, you have become the face of my haters right now… it’s not about you… just my judgement of you right now)



  118.  #120Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    you know.. realizing…

    just like my parts

    the parts of me that think im unworthy of help and that are reflected in the outside comments of Honey and others…

    are well meaning as well! they want whats best for me too, they’re just going about it this other way, and it’s not working…

    they’re trying to protect me!

    whoa! worldflash!

    thank you brain and body and spirit



  119.  #121Daria on November 27, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    i feel so melted and loving of myself right now i am just rubbing my neck and touching myself softly mmm



  120.  #122Daria on November 28, 2010 at 12:03 am

    I feel admiring of Honey for raising her three children so bravely

    and for sharing her gifts in the strong backbone type of teaching she shares with those who come to her for therapy

    and for her big babysteps in sirenworld so quickly



  121.  #123janjune on November 28, 2010 at 12:08 am

    guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i made an online date i may actually end up going on 🙂

    the first guy creeped me out — bluesman
    billksq
    bobth
    michael
    thomas
    bernie
    gordon
    steve too dam bossy

    and then there’s been duane.
    he’s stepped up and planned the date, twice, bc the first place he picked for us wasn’t going to work –the hours –, so he planned something else… then there was my loved one’s recent hospitalization and i had to break our date, he was so sweet…
    now we’re picking it back up for tomorrow night…

    he’s 12 years younger than me.
    and he’s a little chubbier than the men i am usually drawn to.
    i don’t care! about either! lol
    he’s been mister sweetheart manly-man all along and if he wants to meet tomorrow night, im going, bc he’s been the coolest, sweetest heart i’ve met so far.
    i kind of can’t wait to meet him.
    he’s the silversmith i talked about once before…



  122.  #124Daria on November 28, 2010 at 12:17 am

    wow! a silversmith! sounds magiclike.. and named duane

    i like that lol



  123.  #125Daria on November 28, 2010 at 12:17 am

    yay Janjune! =D



  124.  #126janjune on November 28, 2010 at 12:24 am

    daria,
    yes, beautiful birds do show up for us don’t they?
    i have to tell you a story, it’s true,
    back in summer ’09 when i got in touch with “F” who had been on my horse since i was in my twenties, we had made plans, our first meeting together face-to-face in years and years…. we were going to have a beer at his house because he wanted me to see his house which is on the historic register,… (pre-rori!), i was leaving to go to the garage and i looked out the kitchen window and there was a big 4-5 ft thing in the backyard, but i didn’t stop to go out there, i thought maybe it was a big white trashbag blowing around
    anyway, the next day it was still there so i went out to get it and you know what it was? a white peacock!! i have pictures, maybe i should use as my avatar?
    unbeknownst to me the neighbors a few blocks away had adopted some blue and white peacocks and this one who’s name is king tut decided he liked my yard better! so weeks went by and king tut stayed with me.
    they came down and fed him, he had a perch up in an my old sycamore in the backyard. he was beautiful.
    and he stayed with me every day until the day that “F” decided he didn’t want to take our relationship anywhere.
    king tut was gone that day and never has been back since.
    i felt like seeng “f’ was a gift from G*d bc it answered so many questions for me. and i feel like king tut was G*d showing me, ‘THIS ISI FROM ME JANJUNE!!” hee-hee
    and then when King Tut left and has never been back….. well… 🙂



  125.  #127Daria on November 28, 2010 at 12:30 am

    hehe
    yeah i learned from someone in the Artemis class that birds are messengers

    to pay attention to the first bird i see that day



  126.  #128janjune on November 28, 2010 at 12:35 am

    but anyway back to you making money 🙂

    this can happen

    it sounds like affiliated advertising is an acceptable practice

    you have so many talents, have you tapped on why you feel you wouldnt be “doing anything?”… i just don’t see this…. you not having anything to offer i mean.

    if i was working i would hire you daria, i would, to set up a program for me… involving t tapp and the himalayan salt , how you use it, exercises that involve the 0putty around ourselves, i mean just a comprehensive program of all that you know, bring it all together, i couldn’t pay thousands or hundreds of dollars, but i would love to see what you would charge to do that when i get a job.
    i dont think it would be called healing (legally), more like maybe whole person coaching, body, mind, spirit and soul or something i don[t know \\but you would say it so that you were’nt saying you were a healer? because maybe that could get you into trouble…?

    but you DO have alot to offer.
    you have much to offer, it’s just still in the birthing stage…
    i will have an income again someday and i would like to ask you if you would plan a program for me … after i buy modern siren LOL!



  127.  #129janjune on November 28, 2010 at 12:40 am

    wwwooooooo! i got goosebumps reading that that birds are messengers!!!

    king tut was absolutely the most perfect beautiful bird i could have imagined to go along with the beauty of the love i had felt all my life for this man!

    when king tut left, though, i knew i had another sign…
    it was beautiful.
    and its gone.



  128.  #130janjune on November 28, 2010 at 12:56 am

    well, im getting sleepy………… verry veeerrrrrry sleepy 🙂

    daria,
    things are going to work out
    you are uber, uber talented
    i believe, with no doubt, you will one day be uber wealthy too
    the universe is testing you
    you’re holding to your truth
    you know who you are and the value in that, even if alot of the world doesn’t yet see what you see.
    Yet. 🙂
    all leaders innovators inventors go through the fire
    the world will be blessed by this that you are formulating!
    i want to see you suceed and so do other people, lots of people on this blog
    you are loved
    you are cared about
    i’m gonna keep on holding space for it and for you until it happens.

    goodnight!



  129.  #131Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:04 am

    Janjune – cool idea…!

    I think healing is a free for all term as there’s not really anything legal involved with being a “healer” as far as i know

    would you want me to see if I feel drawn to start making a program for you right now?

    … it would be a gift and it would just come back to me and prepare me to maybe offer something out to the world… you can gift me back something like money or other stuff or blessings sometime if you want

    what would you like the program to be like?

    like a week schedule of what to do along with describing the purpose and my tips on the ways to do it?

    what would you like the program to be like / include?



  130.  #132Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:07 am

    thank you.

    i feel very loved and YOUR encouragement Janjune is feeling great to receive

    i feel like im being seen and believed in

    hmf energy moving



  131.  #133janjune on November 28, 2010 at 1:09 am

    hi daria i haven’t logged off yet… am going to go answer your questions before i do… be right back…



  132.  #134Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:15 am

    I AM a healer… an im gonna say it goddamit… lol



  133.  #135Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:15 am

    yay!



  134.  #136Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:16 am

    ps Janjune where did u see me say i wouldnt be “doing anything”? or where did u pick up that energy… i wanna take a quick look at that



  135.  #137janjune on November 28, 2010 at 1:32 am

    yes, if you feel like doing that, you could start a program for me because i am completely serious about knowing you could pull something together that would encompass the whole body, the whole person, the etheric person, the layers of energy we see and don’t see and people just don’t have the time to study all the things you have and with your super high intelligence level, i know you have the ability to pull all this information together where someone else wouldn’t be able to do that.

    i could send you $10.00 which sounds ridiculous, but i feel it would open up a wormhole in the universe for money to come through — for your work — for the things you have to offer and the things you do and the things you believe.

    anyway, if that doesn’t feel comfortable, well then we can wait until i go back to work and then you would give me a price and we could make a deal!
    haha!

    i think it would be like selecting t tapp exercises for me
    how and where and how often to skin brush
    other techniques like that
    all your favorite things you do for yourself
    the things you know work!
    then also the more exotic and esoteric knowledge you have could be incorporated too
    and scents or salts or flower esseences or homeopathy or whatever, just *you* using your skill as healer and medicine woman to put together a program of *keeping* the body strong and healthy and vibrant… above and beyond food, water, exercise.

    maybe people could tell you what they want to do and then you make up a program for them.

    i want to:
    move my lymphatic fluids
    move my etheric mass
    move my emotional mass (is that the putty thing around us?)

    and people don’t want to go to one hundred practitioners… you daria, could be the one, the person, who pulls all this knowledge together for people…

    maybe this would just be a start…

    well, i probably won’t check back until tomorrow… gotta get my beauty rest in case this date really happens 🙂

    g’night 🙂 zzzz zz z z z



  136.  #138Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:32 am

    Janjune – you know, you’re a healer too, right?

    i kinda just took it for granted you were… and just not got crinkled brows cuz i heard you talking about having a job…

    and i was like… isnt janjune a healer… and then you said that about the word

    so just to let u know that’s how i always seen u and always thought u did

    so i let it be heard



  137.  #139Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:37 am

    Nite Janjune! I will get started… need a camera (thinking) to do a demo of skin brushing and such stretching

    10 dollars is great, would feel better to receive it once i’ve given you something already…

    or would it

    i dont want to feel obligated

    this is not about charging

    i am just gonna consider to do this for My own benefit of beginning this and enjoying it

    and you can gift me whatever you want whenever you want

    donations to the goddess can be made thru the top of my blog – by clicking my name on these posts here



  138.  #140Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:50 am

    Lymphatic fluids – stretching and t-tapp, deep breathing, short walks, nettle infusion, seaweed, Marci Javril lymph massage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGLvvIn_1RQ



  139.  #141Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:55 am

    etheric mass – hmm… Donna Eden 5 min energizer routine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr-FEoY440g,

    6 Healing sounds chi gung, An Tz Lin, hair breathing and energy storing, smoking ganja 😉 with drum dancing

    emotional mass – stretching/Rolfing…indeed, EFT, “focusing”, Emotrance (don’t have that one mastered yet but its the bomb), Ask and Receive, marrow washing-Iron shirt chi gung (just learned Of this, gona explore it), TAT, crying and drinking water

    throw in Genius Symbols exploration to cap it off



  140.  #142Daria on November 28, 2010 at 2:01 am

    ps – morning night body brushing and scalp massage, hot-cold showers, and weekly salt baths go under lymphatic

    also Cold Nani washes – Derivative Bath – are very powerful (kinda tried… intuition)

    Castor oil packs too (haven’t quite tried it as packs, i just know)

    Acupuncture from a skilled practitioner is awesome

    Burdock root yumyum eating a lot will help everything out, or dried root in decoction

    the Alfalfa from T-tapp is great too



  141.  #143Daria on November 28, 2010 at 2:10 am

    etheric and (sort of lymph) – Chinese Deer for Women –

    thats a powerful magic mind body and spirit strengthener…

    (I just know – I want to get started doing it too)

    It’s important to do this one with an INTENT. It’s that powerful.

    ohhhhh

    Restorative Yoga postures from the gym class are AWESOME ( i forget some of them tho! gonna drop back in to check em out)

    legs on wall, corpse pose

    oh…

    MEDITATION!!! (hehe) for emotional and energetic

    mantras too!

    Goddess/spirit awareness also moves energy

    ok… this stuff will organize itself thank you!



  142.  #144Daria on November 28, 2010 at 2:55 am


  143.  #145Daria on November 28, 2010 at 2:55 am

    Bone breathing (an easy way) – tried it in my hands and it works! http://www.healsa.co.za/bonebreathing.htm



  144.  #146Daria on November 28, 2010 at 2:57 am

    Here’s skin brushing and hot cold showers (together!)

    http://www.healsa.co.za/dryskin.htm

    This is how i always shower, except for going hot for the week before and duriing my period

    it feels SOO good and my skin looks yummy



  145.  #147Rachel on November 28, 2010 at 6:58 am

    I’ve been away for over a week and am wondering about some of you … Lucy, what happened with TN man? Did he come? Did you spend any time together?

    And MeeMee … did you get together with X on Thursday?

    It’s amazing how much I care! I was on vacation and too busy and surrounded by my children to check in, but I kept thinking of you both and wondering. Hope you don’t mind my asking.

    Or someone else can fill me in too! Good morning to everyone!



  146.  #148tinque on November 28, 2010 at 8:07 am

    Castor oil packs are awesome for any abdominal issues as well as healing scar tissue, joint issues, muscular issues, chest colds, etc. You need a length of wool which can be purchased separately from the bottle found at any health store (the brand escapes me but anyone there will know of what you speak). Soak it well; wrap on affected area keeping it in place with a length of plastic wrap. It must be kept in place for TWO hours. The wool does not have to be washed. It can be stored in the refrigerator after use as is in plastic only needing recharging occasionally.
    xxoo



  147.  #149Meemee on November 28, 2010 at 8:16 am

    Rachel
    Thanks a lot for asking. It makes me feel so good that you remembered it. Thanks a lot my dear.
    I didnt meet X on Thursday. He did not turn up in office that day nor did he call or text to cancel the meeting. That sort of made me feel horrible and he didnt even reply when I told him I feel hurt that plans are cancelled without notice. I cried for a whole day and felt I am off the wagon for some hours. But yeah, all the lovely sirens here helped me to get on to my horse again and ride. (He later texted apologizing and saying he was busy with some household works and running around for family. He had said if not Thursday we’ll meet Saturday. No trace. I am not worried too much about it either).
    Between I am going on a trip to do some fieldwork for my research. I am going to a city which is very new to me. I feel excited about the trip.
    I have to catch train in another 2 hours. I am going through all the eleventh hour panic and packing 🙂 🙂
    Hope you had a good time while you were away.
    I feel so touched that you remembered me.
    Love you
    Hugs
    Meemee



  148.  #150Meemee on November 28, 2010 at 8:20 am

    Dear Sirens,
    I am travelling today. I was busy packing and shopping the whole day.
    I have to catch train in another 2 hours. Its 8 hour journey.
    I will keep you posted.
    Hope all of you are keeping good.
    Love you
    Big tights hugs to all of you
    Meemee



  149.  #151Brenda on November 28, 2010 at 8:37 am

    Meemee,

    Have a nice trip! I’m so glad you have a chance to get away from X and all the stress surrounding that relationship. I hope you meet an awesome man real soon!



  150.  #152Senior Lady Vibe on November 28, 2010 at 9:15 am

    New post:

    How to Turn Him Into A Good Husband And A Better Father
    Sunday, 28 November 2010 @ 7:58am

    SLV



  151.  #153Senior Lady Vibe on November 28, 2010 at 9:19 am

    @Meemee

    Have a good trip. It’s the first day of the rest of your life!

    SLV



  152.  #154Rachel on November 28, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Thank you, Meemee! I know that Siren Island is a good place to be when you fall off your horse! I hope you have a wonderful trip and I’m believing that a great man is heading your way … one who will cherish you and shower you with all that you desire and deserve!

    Hugs!



  153.  #155marina on November 28, 2010 at 10:09 am

    Daria, you are wonderful!
    It seems we are a bit insync, even though we live so far apart!
    Just today I thought about the different parts of me that are not working together, but actually working against eachother and probably are the reason for me sabotaging myself over and over again…
    I felt so much RAGE inside of me. I felt like I wanted to destroy my entire being.

    I see that these different parts just want the best for me. They represent different parts of me that seem to want different things, sometimes conflicting things.
    I wonder if I can feel whole again. I wonder if I can find a common ground for these different parts.

    I watched the tapping video and I had to cry.

    I have decided I am going to inform my manager at work that I have a problem.
    I am trying to stray strong and do my best, but I have some issues that really need to be taken care of. I tried to convince myself that it really is not that bad and that I am trying to do my best, but really, how bad does it need to get before I admit that I do have a problem? Me not being able to go to work, not informing anyone, I am screaming for attention. Some part of me says it is enough, now take care of this first! Take care of yourself first!

    I feel scared to tell this at work. Even though it will probably not come as a surprise to them.
    I feel scared that I well get a label like loser or inadequate or that my colleagues think that I am pretending.
    I feel scared that they will be mad at me for being not strong. I feel scared that they will judge me, that they will get angry at me since they also have their bad days but still do their best and do not give up.
    I feel scared that I will no longer be a part of the group.
    I feel scared that I won’t be able to find a solution soon.
    I feel scared that I might loose my job. I feel scared that I won’t be able to get a mortgage to buy my own appartment.

    I feel a little bit relieved that I have come to understand that I need help. That I cannot do this by my self anymore. I need to have someone stand beside me now.
    I feel ok that I surrender.



  154.  #156Simply Shannon on November 28, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Siena, oh wow! I feel interested in hearing more about this. I feel giggly actually. They do always come back.

    Daria, I did the skin brushing last night (with a loofah sponge I had – will get an actual brush today). I feel inspired by the stuff you do.

    All, well The Simply Shannon Show is back to feeling stuck on the same channel again with my ex. My kiddos talked about their weekend with him and it sounds like he did some things he said he wouldn’t. It appears that God is testing the validity of my forgiveness. Baby steps and really wanting to see the good in this. Feeling pretty disappointed right now. Ugh. I hate when people say they will do something and then do another.



  155.  #157NewLeaf on November 28, 2010 at 11:41 am

    SS-

    Maybe he fell off the wagon? I mean, your horse. Maybe he fell off the back of your horse. ‘Cause he’s kind of new to being whatever the man equivalent is to a siren. He may have to baby step his way there the way we do.



  156.  #158Brenda on November 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I will be turning in my job laptop on Tuesday, my last day of work. I am trying to connect my desktop to my landlady’s wireless Comcast network, using Netgear wireless adaptor in the USB port. I got that part to connect, but I’m having a challenge connecting Windows to Netgear. If anyone has any know-how, I’d really appreciate your help, because I am hoping to stay connected with Siren Island and to jobhunt after I give up this laptop.

    Bye for now!



  157.  #159Dorothea on November 28, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    all this talk about healing and teaching and self care comes at just the right time for me too.

    i switched my diet completely and within 2 weeks my skin cleared up entirely. it was BAD before. Now I think about the thousands I spent on skin products trying to clear my skin and this whole time it was the food I was eating! And we are told from a young age that food being linked to breakouts is a MYTH. tsk tsk. it is the most true part about skin care, actually!

    On thanksgiving I cheated on my diet and when I woke up the next day, my skin was a huge mess. as bad or worse than it was before. that settled it. it was the food i was eating.

    i am getting an informational pamphlet together to make available online for free about how i cleared my skin. i am going to print it out and post it in grocery stores and hand them out to people in the skin care aisles at the drug store. I want to spread the clear skin gospel now that i have been ‘saved’. haha. hallelujah!



  158.  #160Daria on November 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Marina – I cried and cried during that tapping video too… It’s very moving



  159.  #161Simply Shannon on November 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Ohhh Dorothea! I’d love to read that.

    Nikita, if you’re online, did you ever post about how you made your PMS go away? I’ve completely forgotten which post that was and I feel too lazy to search. 😉 Let me know.



  160.  #162tinque on November 28, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    Shannon – Have you tried Evening Primrose Oil? If you know what your hormonal balance is, low estrogen can be raised with black cohosh or false unicorn, low progesterone with chasteberry/vitex.
    Other things to try are red clover or red raspberry (this one is more for pregnancy issues, but you never know) a well as damiana (more for sexual issues) and ginseng.
    xxoo



  161.  #163Simply Shannon on November 28, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Tinque, Thank you! How would I find out what my hormone levels are? Probably a doctor’s visit huh? I know when I was trying to get pregnant, I had to take meds to stimulate ovulation and then progesterone once preggo. I know I had low progesterone but I believe that was caused because my ovulation wasn’t strong enough. I have no idea if that’s still the case.

    I really would like to know more about this kind of thing. I believe there’s so much about my own body that I don’t know. *blush*



  162.  #164tinque on November 28, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    Shannon – You can find out via blood work or a saliva test. Both are accurate. You’re so not alone in this. Most people have no clue. There are many here who know a lot. Ask away.
    xxoo



  163.  #165janjune on November 28, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    #108
    “and another part doesnt because it wants to protect me from feeling like a jerk! and from doing something that i feel unsure of whether it is honest and feel good!”
    and #117
    “just like my parts
    the parts of me that think im unworthy of help and that are reflected in the outside comments of Honey and others…”

    …but now going back to find these, it looks like you maybe got that worked out with the worldflash… 🙂



  164.  #166Daria on November 28, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    Janjune – did you get a chance to take a look at what I wrote for you…

    if so…

    Do any of those practices call to you as something you would like to take up at this time?



  165.  #167Rori Raye on November 28, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    Rosa – We’re here, big hugs to you and a speedy recovery..Love, Rori



  166.  #168janjune on November 29, 2010 at 12:01 am

    oops… 🙂
    #162 was for daria

    daria,
    all this info!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!
    looool
    see this is what i’m talking about!!! you have more healing info stored in your little finger than most of us will ever have!!

    does it feel important to you that this info be formatted, organized somehow?
    the rest of us work slower than you!…
    …taking one thing at a time… feeling overloaded with four or five mental demands…
    whereas i feel you are quite comfortable with five or more processes going on at the same time!
    putting the info in a format that’s segmented, compartmentalized would be so people could *click* on what they want to heal, look at, learn about… on your website, in the video, on youtube etc…

    …or does doing that just sound like a bunch of malarkey? 🙂 lol

    i’m going to go through it as i can (timewise) and will put some rough structure to it, just for me, to be able to find my way around it and kind of *index* it in a way,
    i’d be happy to share that with you if you want to look at it.

    this is fantastic though! you could do this for people! i understand what you’re saying about healing *not* being about charging. our physical reality makes that difficult, as it takes some sort of support to be able to stay in business.

    however, you know how you’re feeling it.

    and, yes!!!! i do feel i’m a healer too! i don’t know what kind yet though! i have no idea, i just know it’s there! feels good to hear you acknowledge it, i don’t believe i’ve ever said “i’m a healer” before, even to myself, but i know i have felt it and it feels good to say it and to hear it at the same moment!!



  167.  #169janjune on November 29, 2010 at 12:05 am

    no, i haven’t gotten to look at it closely, just skimmed over… haven’t followed any links yet…

    “Do any of those practices call to you as something you would like to take up at this time?”
    yes!! all of them 🙂



  168.  #170Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:12 am

    janjune – =( i feel overwhelmed thinking about organizing stuff

    i hate myself for this!

    i wish i felt easily inspired to organize

    i fu9ck up a lot of stuff because of non organization

    like i think my tutoring would really take off if i could just organize it

    or i could write a book if i could Organize it

    but…

    i feel like running the other way

    WAAAH

    boo hooo

    something to tap on

    i don’t think it will work

    been wanting it to work for too long and it hasn’t yet

    but maybe it will!

    **
    example i struggled with feeling bad about smoking for a LOOONG time and didnt think it would ever end

    and then magically IT HAS! and its been a gift

    ***

    theres a gem in my resistance and overwhelm to organization too…

    i love me

    i want to see all my gifts

    yum

    parts of me that have wisdom and power about this and that feel good organizing i invite you to come help me!

    thank you for what youve done for me and for the future



  169.  #171Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:13 am

    i resist organization. I LIKE CHAOS.

    except i also like organizing sometimes

    defeat feeling.

    my cousin taught me that its more fun to throw all the clothes aroudn on the floor

    what fun we had with that

    sigh



  170.  #172Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:15 am

    Janjune – YES! hook me up with the index.

    I LOVE RECEIVING organized stuff. i love that aspect

    this is a big conflict for me

    notice my blog, i try to make it as NOT organized, and just pull in bits off hte universe in a quilt

    hmf!

    =)

    organization is pretty

    messiness is pretty

    yum

    let me know if something in particular of those things starts to stand out



  171.  #173Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:18 am

    read some back posts… thanks for the compliments marina and simply shannon!

    smiling big here!



  172.  #174Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:21 am

    Tibetan rites is something i want to add under etheric… this cleanses the chakras and is simple



  173.  #175janjune on November 29, 2010 at 12:22 am

    i kind of know what you mean, organizing puts LIMITS on everything…
    i hate it too, detest it… (ooh, didn’t realize that!!)
    and yet…
    it is a good way to communicate at least some of what’s inside with other people and makes it easier for people to be around each other…
    they’re communicating imperfectly of course, but the rest, i am feeling, can come through the spirit to their spirit or soul or through the “vibe”.

    this is just how i’m looking at it that makes me feel better about organizing life…

    but yes, to me, organizing does have the potential to drain the life out of things…



  174.  #176janjune on November 29, 2010 at 12:25 am

    “just pull in bits off hte universe in a quilt”

    i love this!!! this is wonderful! i want to do this!



  175.  #177janjune on November 29, 2010 at 12:33 am

    alright, i’ll send you my index as i work on it.

    would you mind coming back to this thread if you have other ideas that go along with this lymphethericemotionalmass idea?…keep me from hunting around on the blog 🙂
    ooh i feel reaaly happy that you have all this information in your head daria! nobody can do this!! nobody has the store of info that you do!!



  176.  #178Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:36 am

    Janjune – hehe.. i feel amused… EVERYBODY has this hehe

    i think

    oh also, you can email me

    magicgoddessmedicinewoman@gmail.com

    ORGANIZING can be GREAT tho…

    for example… flower arranging

    and I LOVE drawing geometric shapes…

    sooo

    i am asking the parts of that love it and are drawn to it to

    come in and assist the parts of me that feel overwhelmed by it

    right on

    i love all my parts no matter WHAT they do.



  177.  #179janjune on November 29, 2010 at 12:37 am

    well, nobody i’ve ever known anyway 🙂

    going to sleep…. g’night



  178.  #180Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:37 am

    Feng Shui

    Rainbows

    Rhythms

    all these are organized

    math!

    grammar

    yum



  179.  #181Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:38 am

    i want the lovely part of it to merge and heal the fear and overwhelm and the unloveliness

    and include and be included in the chaos

    yum



  180.  #182Daria on November 29, 2010 at 12:39 am

    it feels good that you think i am special to have this

    would it feel fun to accept it?

    yes but only as far as saying that EVERYBODy has the ability to hold knowledge share this

    just like everybody can be “good” at math, and singing



  181.  #183Mercedes on November 29, 2010 at 8:11 am

    Dorothea: Please share…What are you eating? I have “okay” skin with minor breakouts sometimes…but I want GREAT skin…smooth and soft yet firm (does that make sense? I know what I mean…lol). I have a plan to really focus on taking care of myself (making more time to take care of ME…see # 4 above..hey…maybe I should take the 40 day challenge…hmmm) but if there are specific foods I could add to what I’m already doing/planning on doing I’d love to…

    I love this…LOVE IT:

    Factor #3: All of my relationships support me to be my best me and to live the life I want, or I don’t have them.

    This can be one of the hardest milestones, because it means putting a big stake in the ground for yourself. It requires honoring yourself SO much that you only have relationships in your life – friendships, romantic partners, even relatives – that give respect, trust, unconditional love and truth.

    that’s what I’m talking about…YEAH!

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  182.  #184Melissa on March 5, 2011 at 5:24 am

    The only way I could post this is through a comment so I am sorry.
    Rori.. Here is my problem. I was dating a guy for a year during that time he always made time for me, always called me, always wanted to be with me, we had great communication, were friends, laughed and joked with each other all the time. He always talked about wanting to get married and having a future together. He started a class he needs for his paramedic liceanse and things started to change. He stopped calling, stopped wanting to spend time together or as much. He would tell me he is busy but would be on facebook all the time and talking with an ex that lives out of state. A week in a half before he broke up with me he stated that he wanted to move forward in our relationship and he wanted to provide for me physically, sexually, and emotionally… then i didnt hear from him in 2 days. I lost control of my emotions and we got into a big fight… at the end of the fight he said that he loved me and i said that i loved him to. The 2 days after that i heard from him then i called him on the 2nd night got no answer called him the next night got no answer. I went to his house the next day which was a friday and we got into another fight which he said that he had to let me go bc “the feeling” and the passion wasnt there anymore and that a friends advice to him was that sometimes you have to let something you love go… and that he has to be right in his life before anything else. It has been almost 4 months since he broke up with me and I have not heard from him at all. I have only contacted him 3 times in the almost 4 months 2 text messages and one phone call which he answered and we talked for an hour and he again said that nothing has changed and that he needed to be right in his life before anything else. Now I find out that he has been talking to this girl his friend is trying to hook him up with for about a month now. I have taken steps to find myself again… i have gone out with friends, i have not been on any dates bc my heart just isnt in it. I want our relationship back and im at a lose as to what happened and why all of a sudden he just broke up with me??? What should I do?