A Map To Healing Your Heart, Creating Attraction, And Getting The Love You Want

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On Siren Island, in the Siren Circle Private Coaching program, and in our monthly Feminine Energy Siren Tribe Workshop – this month, the Coaches and I have noticed a common thread of: abuse, histories of trauma, and the common challenge of “opening up your heart.”

And, as we keep developing powerful new ways to help you quickly move through what can seem like a very complex process of personal growth, deepening attraction, and getting the romantic results you want — I thought I’d come up with a simple “map”!

First, I want to lay out my basic Seven Steps. I lay these out beginning in my Reconnect Your Relationship program — then clearly named them and deepen and expand on them in so many aspects in my Commitment Blueprint program, and now I’d like to lay them out for you again here:

1. Understand what’s going on.

This is the dynamic between you and a man, and what’s going on inside you. This is the “intellectual,” “brain” part of the process. This is the part that will help you practice the most important first step which is: Awareness.

2. Stop what isn’t working.

3. Become an invitation.

This is all about opening up your heart and becoming warm. This is what “The Modern Siren” program focuses on.

4. Manage your emotions.

When you do the first three steps — your emotions are going to be triggered.

This is how to go deeper into them and actually use them to help you with the next step which is —

5. Love yourself.

This isn’t just a pretty flowery concept of self-love, this is actively doing and saying things to yourself that are acceepting and loving.

6. Circular Dating.

This holds whether you’ve been married for 50 years or are single. This is about seeing abundance instead of lack where the numbers of available men are concerned, and this is how you practice using all of my Tools.

7. Changing your vibe

This can mean my “Change Everything” Tool from the outside to the inside, and this can mean just basically putting it all together.

The thing is – these steps SHOW UP in order – but you don’t “work them” in order.

They work one at a time — where you focus on one thing at a time, one step at a time — but when you do one step, another step immediately shows up.

For instance – the moment you do any of my tools about opening your heart — your emotions are going to be triggered!

So then you need to work with those emotional Tools.

And once you do that, you’re going to be faced with an option to either love yourself or blame and punish yourself.

Here’s a map about how the process works:


You don’t have to be the most confident, high self-esteem, high-self-respect, self-loving, secure woman you think you have to be.

You can be a mess.

You can be teary-eyed.  You can be angry. You can feel “weak.”

What you CANNOT be, and get the love you want – is “closed down emotionally.”

And here’s where the problem is….confidence and self-love and attraction are so tied together, you can put your focus in the wrong place and mistake one thing for another.

So..let’s start here:

Forgiveness-> non-judgment-> less urgency-> self-love-> courage-> discovering desires and emotions-> speaking the truth-> authenticity-> self-respect-> surrender-> more want-> more happy-> less need-> less fear-> less “charge”-> ability to walk away-> peace->attraction

This is both a life-long process, and a moment-by-moment process!

Just forgiving yourself or someone else for anything brings up HUGE amounts of emotional baggage and intellectual arguments from your brain.

Non-judgement brings up the blaming voices.

Slowing down and reducing a sense of urgency brings up fear and makes you want to make something happen and DO something –

The urge to DO something (or fulfill an assignment or even just PRACTICE) brings up the subconscious traumatized parts that want to either run away, fight what you want to do – or freeze and go numb.

This is how it goes.

SO – the PROCESS is what’s important here…

Think of it this way: you’re not juggling all of these balls in the air at the same time.

You are not juggling at all.

You’re playing with, experiencing, in the moment with just one ball at a time – and then another one appears, and then another one and then another one and then another one.

It happens organically.

And if something from the outside should occur at any given moment it’ll throw something else into the mix.

Something that you’ll need to respond to.

And so your carefully calibrated process is constantly being messed with. I

t’s constantly being thrown off.

You have no control over so much of it.

What you do have control over is your awareness.

Your commitment to experience life, rather than try to think your way through it.

Your commitment to surrender to yourself instead of try and maintain your self-protection.

Everything in all of us makes us want to control everything in us and outside of us.

Some of us feel like Warriors – and go out there, fullbore, and and physically, emotionally, and mentally go about our lives trying to control everything.

For some of us, it’s so overwhelming we just want to hide under the bed.

And some of us can’t even hide.

Some of us can’t even run. Some of us just stand there staring at the wall, staring at the television and go numb.

And some of us do all three of these things at different times.

What’s important here is not what you do or what’s going on — what’s important is your awareness of it all.

And your commitment to allow it all to happen, and your commitment to love yourself through it no matter what.

Love, Rori

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