A New Way To Fit LOTS Of Dates Into Your Life – “The Alternative Date” From Michelle Manley

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Here’s an amazing, SO original and helpful article from one of my Master Coach Teachers – Michelle Manley (Michelle is British, as you’ll notice in her way with words…):

Do you struggle finding the time to meet a guy, even for a coffee?

We’re all busy and we’ve all got things we must do and things we want to do.

So how do we fit in dating, without it feeling like a chore?

We all know to find a great man we must kiss a lot of frogs…. well certainly go on a lot of dates.

If you’ve got to the point where dating feels like a treadmill of date after date; same coffee, different face… then I might just have the solution for you.

I call it the Alternative Date.

Why not fit your date into your life, literally? You’ve got a birthday present to buy for your Mum or a friend.

You want to go to the garden centre and pick up some ideas for your hanging baskets.

Why not suggest he come along?

You’re planning a make-over of your kitchen and want to look around a posh kitchen showroom for inspiration.

You need to pick up some groceries at the local health food store.

Why not see if he wants to join you?

I’ve done all the above on first and second dates!

And they were great fun!

My coaching is all about leaning back and minimal effort and these types of dates are perfect for that.

I hear from a lot of women that a first date can feel like an interview.

You’re sat opposite each other, batting questions backwards and forwards.

An Alternative Date is nothing like an interview, it’s a fantastic ice-breaker.

It’s strolling, it’s touching things, it’s interacting with other people… in his presence.

You will find out so much about the other person; I know I have.

Surprisingly, going food shopping was a particularly great date, for me.

I found out a lot about his lifestyle chatting about what food we both liked, where we shopped and what we cooked for ourselves.

I got to see him doing something ordinary and to see how it felt being with him.

I noticed how good it felt when he took the opportunity to push my trolley, pack my bags and carry them to the car.

Whatever you do on your Alternative Date, you can still go for a coffee afterwards and you’ll both be feeling so much more relaxed by the time you sit down opposite each other.

If you like the sound of this but don’t know how to suggest an Alternative Date, what about this?

When he suggests a coffee and asks you if you’re free at the weekend, that’s your opportunity to say, ‘It would feel great to have a coffee with you. This weekend is really busy for me. One thing I have to do is xxxx. Would you like to join me and we can grab a coffee afterwards?’

With the Alternative Date, you get to fit in many more dates.

And you know what that means?

Lots more opportunity to meet Mr Right!



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  1.  #1Daria on April 24, 2017 at 3:23 pm

    LOVE the script at the end

  2.  #2Rori Raye on April 24, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    Daria, so nice to have you here, and Michelle has so many ideas I’ve never completely thought through…and a lovely Brit way with words…

  3.  #3Michelle on April 26, 2017 at 8:46 am

    Thanks Daria (and Rori). It’s a fun way to date. There’s no end of things you can do and invite a man along to…