A Siren Song

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My Siren Song

by Carla Turner

attention

I am a siren calling to you..
The oxygen you need to fill your lungs,
The feathery wings that will lift you into flight…
Leave the safety of your boat, Sailor, and come
Crash upon my shore.
Wildly, blindly surrender to your desire
To know the Creature that dwells within
This siren who beckons.

I GIFT to you the chance to
Place your lips upon mine
And taste the Pleasure of my feminine
Divinity.
Through my eyes, see the depths of a world
Not known to the male creature.
Put your hand in mine and I will connect you to
The Power of love, life and the Heavens.
Let the waves carry you to me.
Seek the safety and serenity of my island
Dive into the untamed passion that emanates
from deep within me…
The gift of the my inner goddess..
Willing to enlighten your soul when you dare touch me.

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401 Comments

  1.  #1Magic Seahorse on August 9, 2013 at 7:48 am

    this feels like soft gentle power…….. And I am all that

    And a super Great morning to all the beautiful sirens around the world!



  2.  #2LoveAlways on August 9, 2013 at 7:54 am

    Beautiful!



  3.  #3LoveAlways on August 9, 2013 at 7:56 am

    Today is a milestone for me. I’ve healed something I’ve done repeatedly through the years. And it feels so good!



  4.  #4LoveAlways on August 9, 2013 at 8:50 am

    In the past, from childhood even, I would wonder “does he like me?” and the emotional rollercoaster ride would start. . . All out of control, overfunctiong, leaning forward! Now, when I meet a guy, my first thought is “of course he likes me”

    #healed



  5.  #5LoveAlways on August 9, 2013 at 8:56 am

    In would pine and grieve over each break up. Now I have learned to mourn the passing of that experience, that feeling of constantly revisiting feelings and reliving moments is healed by mourning it all instead, the man too. It is passing away and I have different memories of someone who has passed. Its a period of mourning and recognition of the loss that is experienced. I’ve learned finally HOW to let go!



  6.  #6Magic Seahorse on August 9, 2013 at 9:00 am

    woooo hooooo Love Always! I feel very FREE when I read that! thanks beautiful siren!



  7.  #7April Rose on August 9, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Magic Seahorse!!!!

    It feels exciiiiting seeing your magical name…
    Heehee. Lets have a midnight swim

    Love from April Raindrop



  8.  #8Wildgeranium on August 9, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    beautiful….



  9.  #9LoveAlways on August 9, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    Thanks magicseahorse, feels good to share the lesson



  10.  #10MovingMagic on August 9, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    I love that Lovealways…”of course he likes me” sounds so right on.



  11.  #11Lisa on August 9, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    Ive been emoting today in regards to …. how it felt to be treated the way “M” treated me ( and others as well)

    how it felt to be treated as a second ( not the first time in my life)… not worth the effort… inconvenience…. something to be over powered, controlled, muted, a pretty picture…

    and also, how I’ve wanted to get rid of the pain…. of that feeling….

    I felt the urge to run to him, or the other “m” to help ease the pain… ( not in a romantic sense, just to be held and cry it out)

    I sat with the pain, it hurt so much, but it came out… I cried… it out..

    I watched a show and saw how Lewis was when he saw Cleo… how I want that….I’ve had that… I want it again…

    I want a man that really WANTS me! and so much that he smiles when he sees me…. like “B” did… that feels so good….

    “M” didn’t …… he liked how I was excited to see him…. but he wasn’t like “B”…. who when he saw me… couldn’t keep from smiling… and gave me a huge hug that took my feet off the ground…

    I loved that feeling… and the feeling in the beginning with “M” when he couldn’t stop looking at me…. when I didn’t know it….

    I loved that feeling…. I want it again…

    Lewis was crazy about Cleo…. I want that… I want to know I’m wanted, desired… loved… cherished… and he would hunt me down if I moved to mars…. I want that….

    I may never get it? But I’m clear that is what I want….

    I’ve had enough of men that can take me or leave me….their actions don’t match their words…

    I want the MAN that will stay… and as “M” said but didn’t do…..” I’m not going to go anywhere”…. and when he said…. “you’d like to think you can get rid of me that easy…. you can’t”

    I want that but I want it to be REAL…. not fake… not just , I meant it when I said it…

    I want a man that can handle my passion, my energy, my feisty, my bursting with excitement… who loves watching me be my perky happy self… not someone that is wanting proper and neat and reserved all the time…or to pat me down…subdue me

    Of course I wanted to experience all that with “M” , I was interested in his passions, but it wasn’t reciprocated…he had no interest in mine… that didn’t feel good.

    the story of my life… non reciprocation… I’m changing it…

    Now I’m more clear on what I want…

    Crying continues…. and I’m so tired from it… but it feels so good to get it out…

    OXOX

    OXOXO



  12.  #12BeLoved on August 9, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    ahahaha…whoa…
    I was just sitting here, doing nothing…breathing, enjoying being,
    when I suddenly “got” it.
    I know exactly what set off the rush of feelings of insecurity with T.
    He was feeling guilty about something, and I felt so connected to him, that the ‘guilt’ vibration felt bad and set off my abandonment and insecurity alarms.

    He probably felt guilty about his feelings for A, and probably knows he’s been stringing me along all this time and I finally got strong and aware and conscious enough to start asking clear, direct questions and stay present enough to feel what was going on.

    Whenever he would take a lover in the past, it would always be some really vulnerable person with major problems. A woman with a drinking problem and sexual abuse history. One who said outright that she had mental problems. One who seemed to have multiple personalities.

    So I’m guessing there is probably something about this new woman that is out of integrity with the kind of woman he believes he should be attracted to or claims to actually be attracted to, like the others. Plus knowing he really has nothing to offer me, and of course feeling guilt would bring up “mother” stuff that he projected on me.

    I knew I was right to feel insecure. Now that I get the pattern I wonder whether I can change my response to guilt feelings in a partner to something more mature and resourceful. It isn’t dangerous to my life, I’m an adult…I’m sure I can come up with something.

    And WOW, did I sure get taken for a ride.
    6 years with him, 5 years of therapy dealing MORE with trauma from that relationship than even with childhood stuff…
    and somehow I got it twisted in my mind that he was my hero, my one good friend….
    when I never would have even been in such a desperate situation if I hadn’t gotten entangled with him.
    I had a ton of friends, and a successful business making tons of money and had a sweet deal with my ex, working 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off.
    Wow.

    Hahahahahahaha
    All I can do is laugh about it!

    What a skeez.
    I should have known, as much crap as he talked about “players” and how much better he is…
    lol.
    *facepalm*

    omg wow. Just wow.
    And he’s probably using our so-called relationship as “cred” with his new love interest.
    Hahaha
    *shaking head in wowness*



  13.  #13BeLoved on August 9, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    I’m still looking for a nice ring for myself…
    I’m all like “young couple-ish” about it, I’ll get something inexpensive now and later on I’ll upgrade to something nicer, once “we” are more established and doing better.

    While I was out shopping at the mall, I passed a massage place and
    oooooohh…I started to pass, looked back, saw the guy standing out there and we just smiled at each other and I nodded my head, yes!
    Oh
    heavenly
    bliss.

    It was so yum.
    So. So. So. Yum.
    I just let my mind run, let it ruminate and argue and make fun of T calling him an old geezer and
    while it was running on doing it’s thing, “I” sank into the freaking amazing delicious yumtasticness.
    I got 20 minutes of reflexology on my feet…
    wow I needed that.
    And I remembered a few months ago a massage therapist told me I was so sensitive because I was full of fluid, and said something like, “forgive yourself, let that guilt go.”

    Yeah…I had felt so guilty for so long…
    I made a vow to T, I remember, when he was telling his abandonment story when we first met, I made a vow that I wouldn’t abandon him.

    I let that go. If what I did was ‘abandoning’ him, then so be it.
    I feel AMAZING.
    This morning when I went out, I felt so social.
    Men were coming up to me and smiling at me, and I felt curious and interested in them and asked spontaneous questions and felt interested in the answers…so different from the anxiety and apathy.

    People were hugging me last night and it felt so good to feel my sadness shift to “wow, this may be the best thing I’ve done for myself in my life so far! What if this is totally perfect, I don’t have to sort anything out, I didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s exactly the right thing, the perfect thing to have done?”

    Forgiveness is the cash..!!



  14.  #14Callie on August 9, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    I need personal advise…..If your boyfriend tell you he loves you and demands you to stop talking to certain dudes. Then he blows you off and doesn’t answer you at all so I call and message him. I know he sees, just no answer. Then he claims its work when you finally confront him, but you know its not…What does it mean?



  15.  #15Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    I love this siren song … Good reminders !!
    Magical and amazing!
    I had some correspondence with natureCD and we had dinner plans BUT without a time and a place…and he cancelled… And I felt upset…
    But MY fault for thinking it was a date when it was really just tentative …
    I feel yuck that I keep having the same experiences. I have some beliefs that men are basically lazy and won’t make a plan… So last minute he wanted to see me later on …for drinks.. I said no.
    I feel let down



  16.  #16Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    I am losing hope again of ever meeting the ONE



  17.  #17Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    I feel like nothing ever changes…
    I keep trying so hard and I don’t get anywhere…
    I feel lonely and sad…
    I feel scared to face life alone when I’m older…



  18.  #18Medusa on August 9, 2013 at 8:35 pm

    ((((((Emerson))))))



  19.  #19Lisa on August 9, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    @Emerson {{{{{hugs}}}} I know what you mean! <3



  20.  #20Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    I never thought I’d be this person approaching middle age and feeling so desperately afraid and fed up with things. I’m tired on so many levels.



  21.  #21Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    Thank you Lisa and medusa



  22.  #22Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Just a couple moths ago I was feeling so hopeful of still the possibility being there that I may even get married one day…now I’m losing hope. I have horrid beliefs that men only want me for sex. And that’s what I’m attracting. Even when I’m not really thinking about that maybe it’s a core belief and it still attracts the wrong men. I don’t know.
    I had this thought today that I really need to focus on myself and vote for me… And it felt like the right thing to do going forward… Not focusing on others at all … But I feel selfish and I feel kinda isolated thinking about it. One of my fears is being isolated and alone.
    I don’t know I just have so many mixed feelings about who is really there for me and who is not. Now it’s the weekend and natureCD is nowhere to be seen or heard. Bummer.



  23.  #23Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    It was not this hard to find a boyfriend who is reliable and there for me all the time just s few years ago.. What happened!?



  24.  #24Medusa on August 9, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Emerson – I feel like I want to hug you. I bet you are gorgeous and wonderful. I bet there are lots of cute men, nice men, capable men crushing on you. 😉

    It’s not selfish to take care of yourself!!!!! <3



  25.  #25Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Thank youuu medusa <3



  26.  #26Emerson on August 9, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    I feel like I need to think out of the box and do something different… Not sure what that is…



  27.  #27Starbright on August 9, 2013 at 10:35 pm

    Callie,

    Do you have Rori’s book? That’s the place to start with leaning back, sharing with feeling messages, getting passionate about your own life, etc.



  28.  #28Kits on August 10, 2013 at 2:42 am

    I am sorry to post a request for advice here, but I’m afraid I don’t seem to figure out how and where to do this properly on this blog – I’m just a beginner ))) Sorry everybody!

    The thing is, I’m all set and ready to buy one of Rori’s programmes cause I really need help, but I’m at a loss which one to choose that would fit my situation! Disclaimer: I’ve read their descriptions very closely, but still I am not sure (((

    In short, it is as follows: we met on a dating site slightly more than a year back. We’ve been emailing each other ever since and I’ve visited him 3 times (he lives in London, UK). But recently I’ve got this feeling that he’s withdrawing – there has been less complimenting on my appearance, the letters have become shorter, and during my latest trip to his place there has been less sex than I actually feel I need. So I told him these words, and I quote myself: “You know, I need your honest opinion on a serious matter. Do you think we should keep on seeing each other? I really would love to know what you think”. He did say that he wanted to see me very much, but I quote again: ”A relationship is what I ultimately want, but it’s a tricky question, you know, so I am not sure about how it all might become”. I said, all right, maybe we just take our times and see what happens, and he said it was a great idea.

    Needless to say I am not happy – I like this man very much and, as Rori puts it, I am willing to commit to him. So I guess I need some kind of ‘reconnecting’, and here comes the big question – because it’s online for the most part, I am at a loss whether to choose something for dating or for a relationship! Should it be ‘Commitment Blueprint’, or ‘Love Scripts for Dating’, or ‘Reconnect Your Relationship?’ I am at a total loss and I’d be extremely grateful for any advice, because I’d love to buy one of those programmes really quick to start working on reconnecting with this guy asap – I do like him very much!

    Thanks in advance!



  29.  #29Ana on August 10, 2013 at 5:43 am

    This is exactly what I needed to read right now.. It instantly changed my energy and awakened my inner siren.. 🙂 Thank you so much, Rori..



  30.  #30Syreena on August 10, 2013 at 6:35 am

    My heart feels in agony and hurts so much.

    How is this person my mirror? How?
    I want to know.
    I observe a parent physically hurting their child accientally. I know it was an accident they still however hurt them. Accidents happen I get that.
    What I don’t get.
    No asking the child are you ok?
    No immediate reaction by saying sorry. And comforting.
    Denying they hurt them.
    Accusing the child of being manipulative and blaming the child.
    I feel so sick.

    Another time their nephew annoying them so instead of saying something to the child or the parents. Slyly pinching the child when they thought nobody was looking. I saw it though.

    It feels hard to believe these things about this person. Eveyone believes they are so placid and nice. As they are so laid back, cool, calm.

    How are they my mirror.
    My heart hurts.
    I want to curl up and cry.
    I want to push this person so far away from with one hand.
    The other wants to pull them and scream at them and ask them why why why? Why do you not feel sorry for doing those things. One umintentionally and one intenionally?

    I feel frozen, I feel stuck. Unable to shift this and move into some appropriate action.



  31.  #31Callie on August 10, 2013 at 7:01 am

    @Starbright,
    How do I get it????????



  32.  #32Zara on August 10, 2013 at 7:15 am


  33.  #33Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 7:20 am

    I had a wonderful night with my child going out to see fireworks and eating ice cream on a blanket. It was fun!

    Today I feel weird… kind of empty feeling.. from purging so much yesterday…… I want to fill it back up with happy, easy and deserving…

    OXOX



  34.  #34Callie on August 10, 2013 at 7:25 am

    Zara,
    Thank you 😀



  35.  #35Syreena on August 10, 2013 at 7:29 am

    Is it any wonder that so many want to escape to fantasy world when the reality and truth that they see when it feels painful.

    If we could plug ourselves into a perpetual fantasy world that was full of happiness, what would we choose to do.?



  36.  #36Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 9:00 am

    @Emerson! I know how that feels….

    this song helps me….

    I can almost see it
    That dream I am dreaming
    But there’s a voice inside my head saying
    “You’ll never reach it”

    Every step I’m taking
    Every move I make feels
    Lost with no direction
    My faith is shaking

    But I gotta keep trying
    Gotta keep my head held high

    There’s always gonna be another mountain
    I’m always gonna wanna make it move
    Always gonna be a uphill battle
    Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

    Ain’t about how fast I get there
    Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
    It’s the climb

    The struggles I’m facing
    The chances I’m taking
    Sometimes might knock me down
    But no, I’m not breaking

    I may not know it
    But these are the moments that
    I’m gonna remember most, yeah
    Just gotta keep going

    And I, I got to be strong
    Just keep pushing on

    ‘Cause there’s always gonna be another mountain
    I’m always gonna wanna make it move
    Always gonna be a uphill battle
    Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

    Ain’t about how fast I get there
    Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
    It’s the climb, yeah!

    There’s always gonna be another mountain
    I’m always gonna wanna make it move
    Always gonna be an uphill battle
    Somebody’s gonna have to lose

    Ain’t about how fast I get there
    Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
    It’s the climb, yeah!

    Keep on moving, keep climbing
    Keep the faith, baby
    It’s all about, it’s all about the climb
    Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

    <3
    OXOXO



  37.  #37Emerson on August 10, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Thanks Lisa.

    Syreena I feel disturbed reading about this person and their behavior with children. Distance may be a good thing here for you. My ex was like that. He would hurt people emotionally and also physically and was only sorryif it made him look bad.

    This person is not necessarily your mirror. Maybe he’s just a person passing thru to bring a message… Not sure what the message is



  38.  #38Syreena on August 10, 2013 at 9:33 am

    Thank you for your reply Emerson.



  39.  #39Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 9:44 am

    OMG so many tears.. I hear a song on the radio I love and haven’t heard in a long time… by Dido “Thank You” I love that song…

    I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life…..oooo just to be with you is the best day of my life…

    Tears,tears, tears .. rolling down….

    gratitude for “M” is there now…. how amazingly grateful I am to him… he did give me some of the best days of my life…. he did… I love him…and always will.

    I’m so grateful! to him! in so many ways…

    Oooo just to be with you… best days of my life… it’s true! For me… just being with him was wonderful for me… even though and when things were tough… and they never were bad that’s the good part… it set me at a higher standard now…

    I’m so grateful to you “M”…. for the 6mos… I really did have some of the best days of my life with you! I’ll always be grateful! I’ll always remember. I wish you all the joy and love life can give…. is what I want to say to him now….

    and walk away…

    I love tears of joy and gratitude… they are so gentle… and loving…

    tears, tears

    OXOXO



  40.  #40Indigo on August 10, 2013 at 9:54 am

    Lisa,

    That post felt really beautiful.



  41.  #41Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 10:26 am

    @Indigo

    it feels really beautiful!

    I hope your feeling better!

    it’s a process, you know, allowing what comes up to come up, not judge it… look at it… release and then wait, to see what comes next….

    <3

    OXOXO



  42.  #42Indigo on August 10, 2013 at 10:38 am

    Thanks Lisa.

    I am feeling significantly better, physically.

    Not so much emotionally.



  43.  #43Syreena on August 10, 2013 at 10:55 am

    Does anyone they have a computer addiction?



  44.  #44Sophie on August 10, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Beautiful lyrics – really express for me the emotional magnetism we have as women – I am enjoying sinking into my feelings more and learning to be vulnerable – I am enjoying noticing how when I do it the more the men around me feel safe to be more vulnerable too

    Long afloat on shipless oceans
    I did all my best to smile
    ’til your singing eyes and fingers
    Drew me loving to your isle
    And you sang
    Sail to me
    Sail to me
    Let me enfold you
    Here I am
    Here I am
    Waiting to hold you

    I like these lyrics from Song to the Siren – whenever I heard it though I always thought it said Let me UNFOLD you rather than enfold you – I like the idea of man allowing you to unfold him 🙂

    Hugs to your process Lisa it feels like powerful growing to me nothing ever stays the same

    Hugs to your feelings Indigo I’m glad you’re feeling better physically

    Hugs to everyone else – emerson I loved Medusa’s comment to you



  45.  #45Sophie on August 10, 2013 at 11:26 am

    Syreena – I don’t have an addiction 🙂 I have to turn my computer off I feel drained by it



  46.  #46Millie on August 10, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    This poem is so beautiful and inspiring. I want to watch Clash of the Titans 🙂

    I’ve been processing some emotions. On Sunday a man who I have been involved with off and on, yet who is very dear to my heart and I am to him as well, told me something very shocking. We were in a relationship a few years ago but broke when we finally faced that the age difference, I am 26 and he is 40, and where we are in life is just not working. I also want certain things in a relationship that he did not and/or was not willing to give. In this time apart he saw another woman. While he and I had chatted periodically during this time, we reconnected this year. We love each other, but I know he is not my destiny. I love being with him and experiencing what he DOES offer. He says he will always want me and that no matter what I always have a place with him.

    I feel a little upset right now because I was FINE. I had/have this great attitude about life and men and was open to him being a part of my life while I see other men. Enjoying him and enjoying life until more serious men arrive. I am young, I want to be spontaneous and embrace love and freedom. I’m not looking to be tied down or rush into a exclusive relationship unless it feels right and is heading into a future together. I told him all of this and I hear and feel that supports me. I was not meant to be his wife, I feel I am meant to live, he can be a part of life, but not the focus of it. I was FINE.

    Then I find out something very shocking about his past. After I hear it he says he can’t believe I am still here. That if he were me, he’d have left. Part of me wanted to leave, but I also know what that brings….sadness and despair, a period of us not talking about it. I didn’t want that. I told him I did not want to run from this conversation or the awkwardness. I would rather be in these feelings with him than alone. Usually I feel very strongly about things one way or the other, I am opinionated, but in this case my head and heart are cloudy and I see grey.

    My dilemma is that part of me feels like as a woman, I should not accept this. I should leave.
    Another part of me sees and feels this amazing relationship him and I have, that is so honest and to me very realistic. The fact that he even told me this about his past- I feel is a truth that can strengthen us. I accept him for the man he is, and I know who he is. He may not be the one, but I value so much our time together and his feelings toward me. In a way, I love what we have. I do not think I would love it anymore if marriage was a possibility, I think pretending would enter the picture. However, growing our relationship, our connection to each other, our friendship, our intimacy is something that does feel good. I know, this sounds so torn.

    What do I want? Right now, I want exactly what I have..The world in front of me, freedom, a great vibe, a circle of energy that doesn’t stop.

    What do I want in the future? True love, marriage, family, so cliche it’s not. A man who can’t stop touching and loving me, a man who wants the same things I want and wants to build towards goals with me.

    I feel I’ve answered my own question….I want to exist in a world with him amongst many others. He is there, but he is not the center. What he told me about himself is not the center, not does it own me. It is not for me to own or swallow. I am who I am and his past does not change my future, my outlook, my vision for myself, my love for myself……



  47.  #47Erika Awakening on August 10, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    I hear you BeLoved. I am still forgiving myself for having sex with that person … and all I can say is never again. Never again.



  48.  #48Erika Awakening on August 10, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    The key for me, and it’s woven into a lot of Rori’s newer writings and programs is this … do NOT invest until you are sure you are getting what you want … I take it even more extreme than Rori does. To me, CD-ing is too much investment. Texting with him is too much investment. What I did with the latest guy even though I wasn’t into him and never had sex with him … was way too much investment. No more. Never again.



  49.  #49Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    I love this song and it spoke to me today… today is my day for music to be my teacher… I just love life, b/c I never have to worry, my teacher will show up… in any form as long as I’m paying attention!! It’s that amazing life is… all you have to do is pay attention! It could be a book, a song, a post, nature, an angry person it all speaks to me…

    Annie Lenox:

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Who am I to disagree?
    I travel the world and the seven seas
    Everybody’s looking for something

    Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Who am I to disagree?
    I travel the world and the seven seas
    Everybody’s looking for something

    Hold your head up
    Keep your head up,movin’ on
    Hold your head up
    Movin’ on, keep your head up, movin’ on

    Hold your head up, movin’ on, keep your head up
    Movin’ on, hold your head up, movin’ on
    Keep your head up

    Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused

    Hold your head up
    Keep your head up, movin’ on
    Hold your head up, movin’ on
    Keep your head up, movin’ on

    Hold your head up, movin’ on
    Keep your head up, movin’ on
    Hold your head up,
    Movin’ on, keep your head up

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Sweet dreams are made of this

    Yep! it’s true… might not know what it is we are looking for…. but it is true! I think just guessing, I’m looking to be used… but I’m checking in on that one…

    OXOXO



  50.  #50Medusa on August 10, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    Sophie #42 – thank you it feels so good to hear that.

    I liked your poem, thank you for sharing 🙂



  51.  #51Cris on August 10, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    beautiful song… I had the idea of sirens being dangerous, but it is a different view

    PD Lisa, I love Annie Lennox (unfortunately she was at the top when one boyfriend left…)



  52.  #52Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    @Sophie <3 Thanks! I know! it is true! {{hugs}} back

    @Cris Thanks! and yes, so songs bring back memories…

    I found this article interesting what makes a person happy! I can say with me.. it's true…. I'm very curious and adventurous…

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201306/what-happy-people-do-differently?tr=MostViewed

    <3



  53.  #53Zia on August 10, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    I feel sad today. I don’t feel lonely, just sad. I need to find some more single friends to spend time with.



  54.  #54Erika Awakening on August 10, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Damn … I just gave another “speech” riffing on co-dependency, and wow did that feel good … I also feel very outcome independent in the situation, that it really is more important to speak the truth than get an outcome … and that feels great too …

    I am really treasuring my independence today … the fact that I don’t have to walk on eggshells in this relationship because I don’t allow co-dependency into my life anymore … damn that feels amazing to know that I walked my way into this new life step by step … eschewing all co-dependent relationships with employers, employees, friends, or men …

    He was trying to flirt with me, and I just ignored it. Straight to the truth, sir. Straight to the truth.

    And it’s like all these other situations. Either he’ll step up or he won’t. Either way, I can feel clear because I spoke from my values and did not compromise or beg or collapse for fear of losing something.

    I will not chase money. I will not chase men. And I remain as God created me.



  55.  #55Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    @Zia

    I know what you mean! I totally do too…

    I’d hang out with you… 😉

    {{{hugs}}}

    side note:

    Today has been an amazing day of eb and flow…. the inner joy is more often now… I lost it in my relationship some and it is coming back… I love it!

    I really do love being ME… as much as I post on here my NV’s and my inner dark stuff that comes up… I really am a happy, perky, joyful person… and I love being Lisa..

    I salsa on the sidewalk downtown tonight with the sidewalk band playing… with my little girl… tonight I’m dating myself… I didn’t try hard to find something to do…. I’m dancing in my living room floor… I love doing that…

    I can totally be happy out of a relationship! I have been for years! I want a relationship bad… but I can be happy without one…

    it’s easier to be ME when I’m single… and I just need to find a man that it is easy being me, with him…

    OXOXO



  56.  #56Indigo on August 10, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    Lisa,

    YAY you!

    After Dominique’s e-mail to me I feel as if I am starting to get my joyful energy back. The flu is lifting, my joy is returning to me.

    It is 3:22 am here though and I can’t sleep at all. My mind is alert. I said some things I shouldn’t have. I’m not going to be able to sleep. That’s ok. I have my kitties all around me, and I’m making myself tea and coffee till I’m sick of it, and watching Downton Abbey.

    But that’s ok. It’s a small price to pay for my peace beginning to return to me. I feel so happy about that.



  57.  #57Indigo on August 10, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    What I love about long weekends or time off work is giving my body permission to be all out of whack. Sleep when I want to, be awake when I want to. Eat what I like. Wear pyjamas or beautiful expensive clothes on a whim. Let myself daydream for as long as I like.

    I feel a returning to focusing on the good things about D. The last 3 days the energy has been a good deal of yuck. I don’t know if it needed to come out, or whether I caused it in some way. I’m trying not to assign blame. Dominique, as usual, gave me some amazing insights and wise truths to ponder and work with. I’m just glad the energy is returning to peace again, even if only in me.



  58.  #58Zia on August 10, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Lisa – *love love love*



  59.  #59Lisa on August 10, 2013 at 8:05 pm

    @Zia yes! Love, Love, Love, all you need is Love!

    @Indigo I’m so happy to hear that… I don’t know what advice Dominique gave you! I’m glad it is returning… I don’t know a soul on this earth that doesn’t say things they wish they hadn’t…I think the trick is to love it anyways… No mistakes!

    I’ve been catching myself going over what “M” and I said to each other the last we spoke when he broke up.. ( well I was in agreement with it) and there are things I wish I could have conveyed better than I did.. but I’m human… and part of Rori’s work is… accepting ourselves and being authentic… and I’m noticing that I haven’t been harping on it… which is good! I’ve been letting it go! it’s done… I can’t take it back.. and maybe I’ll get an opportunity to apologize, maybe not… I’m at peace with it… b/c you know what – he said things too.. it’s never one sided…

    You are you! and you didn’t make any mistakes… and it’s OK!…

    We all do it…

    I’m glad peace is returning!!!

    Love yourself!

    OXOXOX



  60.  #60Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    so young neighbor showed up today and i feel so ‘my game is on’ after chililn w RichCD

    i am able to be ‘friend’ and also siren and its so working for me with these new men…
    a
    ndthen…

    SEXY neighbor showed back up!
    i dont thinki told yall i felt humiliated he told me to stop texting him cuz he lives with a woman and im creating drama

    i had no clue he lived with a woman! this guy took me out on easter!

    and she had called previously…

    i didnt even know it was about him!

    now like 3 months later he texts me hey i dindt know who it was

    and then today he says he has soem good ass weed and he wants to smoke

    i felt taken by surprise and whats crazy is i saw him last week from a distance and pined a bit

    but… Young Neighbor said he’s dating his cousin…

    so im like whoa

    now i feel guilty like ima talk to someone young neighbor knows and i just connected with him and knows he gets a lil jealuos and i like it and i like him

    and i feel worried and guilty!

    and i hadnt even talked to YoungNeighbor for a month till today!

    and i wanted to maybe reconnect with Sexy Neighbor even tho

    ivE NEVER BEEN DISSED BY A MAN LIKE THAT!

    they always apologized if some woman called me, not told me im causing drama

    and he didnt have to word it as “im causing” drama
    he was causing ME drama having women call my phone!

    and i know it wasnt cuz she was there cuz he said “ill get at you on my free time”

    whta?

    slap youyrself for me sexy neighbor

    guess hes back now

    and i just figured out leaning back and seeing it as a CD with eityher and both of them will be the learning experience
    a
    nd i feel sad and guilty

    and i love mys adness and guilt

    and i feel THRILLED these men are into me right now!



  61.  #61Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    NeighborFriendCD the one who is my friend actually is on his way to drop off some weed wax to me just because aww 🙂 i feel good



  62.  #62Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    i feel like this put a buffer on my openess to having sex with Young Neighbor…

    which i might have even tonite

    now im like ugh cuz i had been thinking Sexy Neighbor was gonn be my neighbor lover

    and i feel … my judgements of myself and fears come up thinking of having two neighbor lvoers, knowing they know each other

    i feel drained and tired and kinda pist

    so now what ragggh

    i feel annoyed

    i love my annoyance



  63.  #63Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    i also feel annoyed how when people write songs like the Siren Song which i also do, we always wind up writing instructions like “come to me” be with me etc

    and im like does that count as femimnine energy cuz i be urgine to interact like that with my man but Rori said dont trip about it yet i am trippin

    so bascially ive stopped myself from writing songs cuz i was like well translate it to fm’s instead of instructions

    but then i haent totally ‘let go’ in Fm’s yet to have a song come to me

    they still come with instruction mode



  64.  #64Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    and bookie hasnt hit me which i feel sad — noticing my search to touch on all my men and make sure theyre in theyre places and also to find something to pine over cuz im overwhelmed by men coming toward me

    hmmm i intend to heal this



  65.  #65Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    he has hit me just not since wednesday



  66.  #66Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    he probably is like why is our timing not working out for her to see me

    im like im floating in the wind and anyway i tried to him him

    bec hes in the friends category not having a car and living with a woman



  67.  #67Daria on August 10, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    my neighbor forgot aout me for his mom lol but im gonna go over there and smoke w him and then maybe call YoungNeighbor cuz he told me to call him tonite to chill



  68.  #68Indigo on August 10, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    Thank you Lisa, your words comforted me



  69.  #69Erika Awakening on August 10, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    hehe, Daria, I’m laughing reading your posts. in a happy way.

    I feel sooo tired and so happy. There was really weird energy – me getting mixed up in this co-dependent relationship, and I drew a clear line in the sand. It felt really good. I feel powerful saying out loud what I will not participate in …

    I see this rate increase now as symbolic. Of everything that is shifting for me right now. This precious part of me that is finally speaking up, saying I am not going to coach for low rates anymore. I don’t care if nobody pays them, they aren’t going back down. God is the strength in which I trust.

    And she’s also saying, I am no longer going to participate in this world of small relationships. She loves these new boundaries where men get no access to me except through the business. She feels supported by that, she feels confident that any man who is for real will have no problem supporting my purpose, financially and in every other way.



  70.  #70Erika Awakening on August 10, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    Wow does co-dependent feel “ewwww” to me now … I don’t even want to be around it in other people … and to be honest, even flirting feels “ewww” now. I feel very grounded and clear-eyed, with no remaining fantasies.



  71.  #71Indigo on August 11, 2013 at 12:05 am

    I love this statement by Rori a few posts ago:

    “It’s very difficult to learn about ourselves and make shifts and changes in patterns we can’t experience – patterns we’re keeping hidden away.”

    This really helps me to feel better about when a pattern I must have been keeping hidden away comes to the surface, and I want to feel badly about myself. Rori saying this really helps me to *not* feel badly about myself, and not to see it as regression or going backwards. How can I change it if it doesn’t get triggered, come to the surface, to be worked with and through, loved and healed, bit by bit?

    When I look at it this way, it’s actually tremendous progress. Yay me! (Oh, I’m trying so hard to feel that 🙂 )



  72.  #72Zia on August 11, 2013 at 1:34 am

    I have this really nice bottle of red wine that I got for my birthday… and was thinking today should i open it should i save it… and i thought you know what? i would really like to open it and enjoy it. i can enjoy it with me, so I did 🙂

    and it is delicious!



  73.  #73Veronica on August 11, 2013 at 2:14 am

    From the previous post:
    Dominique – 154 – Thank you : )



  74.  #74lacie nancers on August 11, 2013 at 2:22 am

    It really is takes incredible strength to endure the weight of a love for someone that doesnt feel worthy of that love.

    Feeling perplexed at the moment, sleep is failing me and the beat goes on and on…
    There was a wise man that said “eye hath not seen, nor ear hath heard nor hath entered the heart of any man the good things that God has in store for those that love him..

    It seems dismal if i allow the doubt that says someone i believe in and trust and cherrish and adore was leading me to a ravaged garden vegitated by hallowy cacti and broken bones of doleful creature that decompossed ages before…
    But i know this isnt the case, the cancerous affect of that vulture named doubt will not woo me,

    I must stay the coarse and fullfil my word, i did say i will love you and and not abandon you. I did say, with wet cheeks and a cracked voice that i have fallen for you.

    i try to make sense and i know i will never understand all. But
    I have to believe in what i know you gave me and produced in me… that is real. AND SO … m i ne too is also real, and to show proof i have t to stay hear in this place of degradation while the powers that be reveal to you that, II am the one. And it was no mistake..

    I swallow my pride and scream how delicious it is, for you…
    I turn my head as i close a blind eye to the way a tiny breath stops just before the last beat of Its heart, for you.
    I reach into a shattered sole and bring a miricle of not just love, but the best love ever known, for you
    I hold my opinion and mediate my livid consensus of being an option to those that are radically judgmental and are only concearned because they feel thre a tend and want to win and not love… for you.
    I wake up every morning and remember the way you feel to touch and smell and taste ,and invite the hope of true llove prevailing to a drastic realization that i am the one that will live and die and love for you even when you hate me for giving it so much youbcant look in the mirror.

    sure any one say “i love you” but is it real.

    A doormat doesnt feel, or sacrafice, or conform for comparability, and i stand here today and proclaim that
    I wsnt to be considered, i deserve to be appreciated and tre a ted with respect and compassion. I am not a dirty gauze ready for a concealed discard.

    I am someone that believes in love, truth, and you. That will be.patient and understanding
    I will forgive when it needs it, i will fight for my cause, you are my cause….

    I am not a beast a monster or a pasty.. i am a person..

    If i knew you didnt love me i wouldnt be here, and if i didnt love you , you would still be who you were before me.

    Fix your things i need you to do that
    I will fix mine, i need that too.. but i say this to be known….
    I will not give up for something i believe in regaurdless of the coarse.

    You made me feel so good thursday evening, like a foundation was being layed for something to be built on with truth and real discovery and a solid tested love and courtship approach. Then i text you and and you say things that are totally contrary to the feeling and understand we arrived at.

    Stop the reticence its very disrespectful.

    I love you, but i have to say that i need you to be fair to me. Not string me along till its easier for me to forgt you so you dont have to feel guilty.you can have something you never had in your life if you will believe your heart. And allow your truth to be…

    Love you.



  75.  #75April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 3:04 am

    I’m taking a break from relationship coaches. I have about five of them sending me regular e-mail newsletters.

    Something in me has taken a ‘stance’. A mindset. An almost aggressive ‘deserving’. (Which is what I think has made me feel icky about some recent posts on here)

    My mind has grasped at the ideas. And I have forgotten to care for anyone else.

    I cried last night, reading Susan Jeffers ‘Feel the Fear guide to lasting love’.
    It reminded me to care for another (as well as myself).



  76.  #76Kits on August 11, 2013 at 3:07 am

    Please, can someone tell me if there is a place here where I can ask for advice? I need it real bad 🙁



  77.  #77April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 3:08 am

    If he can’t feel I care for him, why the hell should he do all the things I ‘deserve’.



  78.  #78Indigo on August 11, 2013 at 3:08 am

    April Rose,

    “My mind has grasped at the ideas. And I have forgotten to care for anyone else.”

    Only recently I did this. Only it was my mom’s advice, not a relationship coach’s. And it was bad advice, or not great anyway.

    I do feel you on this one. I think sometimes when we listen to so many ideas we get all caught up in our heads, and forget to listen to our hearts, and to feel the other person. I know I don’t feel good when I do this, I feel decidedly bad.



  79.  #79Emerson on August 11, 2013 at 3:27 am

    Sirens I spent some time with friends tonight and I have a few days off so I feel a little better. Still feeling s lil hopeless about ever meeting someone to be in a serious relationship. It’s funny I had it all years ago when I wasn’t ready for it.



  80.  #80Cris on August 11, 2013 at 3:34 am

    Indigo, AprilRose, and sometimes I miss some comments here about passion and emotion for a man. without this, I feel it is difficult to be happy in a relationship even if he is rowing the boat, being as it is supposed he should be… ok, maybe it is my mistake but I miss passion and emotion when I don’t have it and once it is there, it hurts…:-(



  81.  #81April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 3:44 am

    Emerson,

    Forgive me, but your vibe comes across as a little desperate.
    If I was your Mr Right, I would be hovering in the periphery waiting for you to make space for me to come to you. I would be attracted by the ‘smell’ of you being happy and fulfilled in your life and living your passions and creativity. If I felt you were crying out for me to fill a void in you, I would be turned off, and continue to hover out of sight, waiting for you to fill that void yourself.

    So that we then can come together as two whole, happy humans.

    And likewise, if I was your Mr Right, I would want to be whole and healthy too, before I come to you.



  82.  #82April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 3:48 am

    I admit I have become obsessed by ‘what a man should do’.
    It has made me even more thinky.
    What I THINK a man should do. And how a relationship should look.
    It has made me more judgemental.

    Oh gosh. I want to have a holiday from this thinking.

    And go inside my heart.



  83.  #83April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 4:14 am

    Cris,

    What do you mean? Do you associate passion/emotion with pain?



  84.  #84April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 4:16 am

    Indigo

    Something I ponder on:

    Forgiving and Forgetting

    If I’m forgiving, then I’m for giving.
    If I’m forgetting, I’m for getting.

    I am for giving and for receiving.



  85.  #85Veronica on August 11, 2013 at 4:32 am

    Now I can believe and feel that the love is in me and that it is precious. I hope this isn’t a fleeting moment – I would like for that to turn into a belief. It’s peacefully invigorating and feels like a strength/integrity that’s more like ‘I stand in myself’.

    Also it feels for me as though I’m at this moment where there are two options for me to explore which are not mutually exclusive. One is that I sense a need in myself for revisiting/adding/exploring my boundaries. The other is a phrase that keeps visiting me ‘the only weapon is love’. What I’m thinking is happening is that once I have my boundaries love will require I don’t state them as though they were walls.

    Meeting up with my friend went well. It felt good just to hang out. I don’t have any romantic feelings for him nor would I want to cultivate any. I did notice that quite a few men were actively noticing me which is unusual for me – with some it was blatant looking, with others it felt like an energy that wanted me to look at them. At the end of the evening I felt a very strong energy from one man that wanted me to look at him – I was just feeling it, noticing it. It felt good to not have that urgency to make something happen. Most of the time I was in myself, noticing what I was feeling and at times feeling open. It was a pressure-free evening for me.



  86.  #86Veronica on August 11, 2013 at 4:45 am

    Indigo – I’m glad you’re feeling better



  87.  #87Cris on August 11, 2013 at 4:53 am

    AprilRose: not exactly, just sometimes my heart flies, I hang on a man and give too much, so what he gives is always not much in comparison, and it hurts… of course emotion and passion can be accompanied by joy.
    .sorry if this comment was confusing.

    XOXO



  88.  #88Indigo on August 11, 2013 at 5:20 am

    Thank you very much Veronica.

    I went for two lovely short walks today. It was so good to be out in the fresh air and sunshine again.



  89.  #89April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 5:21 am

    Indigo,

    Is your flu on the way out? Hope so.
    Get well wishes to you.



  90.  #90Indigo on August 11, 2013 at 5:28 am

    Thank you April Rose, yes.

    Very much so. The back of it seemed to have been broken yesterday morning, and with that my mood lifted quite a bit as well.

    I am on the mend. Thank you everyone for the love.



  91.  #91Veronica on August 11, 2013 at 5:54 am

    Indigo – 84 – Yay : )



  92.  #92lacie nancers on August 11, 2013 at 6:36 am

    More times than not i carry the burden, its what i am designed to do. and i consider it as a snall price to allow someone i love to not have a complex. For me when i am in that place where im lloving pure, things like that aren’t very significant when i know that when the bond grows then anytbing that is rough around the edges will smooth out.

    Not angry, i am simply feeling like its being disected , tee eminds me of E.T. the poor thing was an alien true, but everyone that watched it and could relate felt E.T. didnt deserve to be killed and studied. Ibwas brought to you by fate. My intentions are totally honest to you and good. I need you in my life because when II am with you i am who i want to be. I enjoy loving you with my whole self, i want to love u more everyday and over the time we strengthen our bond and develope a life i want to eventually live my life for you and your child,possibly more.
    Its been so long since i have come close to being able to feel comfort with and ease with a partner and i ask for you to forgive me for wanting to feast on it. I never want to change u i love who u are.
    Its fine if there are obsticles and things to address. Tgere will always be some hurdle in life but its finding that stuff the good stuff u and i share that makes it possible to overcome adversity. You really are my shelter from the storm,

    I can stand on my own, i have done it many a moon.. i want to stand beside you. A d i hatt ask that you not make it such a task to have time or make me feel like i am w rong for missing you. That makes bad feelings want to try and brainwash me from the truth that i have about what type a person you are, i am already convinced you are wonderful. Im not trying to convince you to believe you are either, i am just trying to love you because you are..
    I really get upset that n o one every treated you with the kind of love and tenderness you deserve. But i will. Im not scared so g o ahead and’ve… i have y o ur back…. i will cantch you when you fall.

    It doesnt ha e to be difficult or a rollercoaster… just be true to yourselff. I know the score about the issues and i am ok with the reasons for it. But if when its fixed and things are in a better place as for looking up, well there is no reason to be cold, emotionless and distant for neither of us. We can see each other be happy doing it too, because it will be better, and soon . You dont stop you as adapt.. and i am fine with, for the time being being greatful for shared time till these things are work out. But pulling away and creating reasons to justify the facilitation of fear is not the answer and it doesnt even sound close to right.

    I will always be willing to stsnd by you , up for you. That doesnt make u weak. It makes you stronger because you have me. And you said we both are broken individuals, i don t reallly resonate with that because i see you smile and feel alive and hopeful at a time wben you e enjoyed us. And i still enjoy us.

    just think about this seriously…. i am an adult and as an adult i am saying to you that i am aware of your needs and i want to be in your life like you want in mine, if there are people peeking well we can adjust, but p k’m ease dont stop. That would be a waste and i agree. Just be consistent baby, thats all i ask everhonest and consistent. I dont ever mind you being confused or considering at all, i will be here for you and what ever you need i support you. Love you.



  93.  #93lacie nancers on August 11, 2013 at 6:48 am

    I am very happy you are creative and living it and i encourage it. I think really its pretty neat. All i meant is that i want to go see a movie and see u sm ile , just have some time together its been a few weeks and i really miss u. We can swing it ..
    Even ta l k about this new job you have i am intrested



  94.  #94lacie nancers on August 11, 2013 at 6:59 am

    In the sunshine? Well nothing like a subway a skateboard and sunshibe.



  95.  #95lacie nancers on August 11, 2013 at 7:12 am

    Your my world the shelter from the tain
    Your the pills that take aw away me pain
    Your the ligbt that helps me find my way
    your the words when i have nothing to say

    And in this world where nothing else is true
    Here i am still tangled up in you
    I’m still tangled up in you
    Still tengled up in you

    Your the fire that warms me when im cold
    Your the hand i have to hold as i grow old
    Your the shore when i am lost at sea
    youe the only thing i like about me

    And In this world wherre nothing else is true
    Here i am still tangled up in you
    Im still tangled up in you

    How long has it been since this story line began
    And i hope it never ends and it goes like this forever

    In this worl where nothing else is true
    Here i am still tangled up in y ou
    im s till tangled up in you
    Still tangled up in you

    (((Please post))) “under ur name if u like… ty



  96.  #96Dominique on August 11, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Indigo – SO happy you’re feeling better. 🙂

    xxoo



  97.  #97Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 10:31 am

    April Rose,

    What you wrote here – WOW – I mean, not even directed at any particular Siren. It’s like you just answered everything that needs to be answered. Why do we have to wait? Because unless we want to settle, we have to be ready:

    “Forgive me, but your vibe comes across as a little desperate.
    If I was your Mr Right, I would be hovering in the periphery waiting for you to make space for me to come to you. I would be attracted by the ‘smell’ of you being happy and fulfilled in your life and living your passions and creativity. If I felt you were crying out for me to fill a void in you, I would be turned off, and continue to hover out of sight, waiting for you to fill that void yourself.

    So that we then can come together as two whole, happy humans.

    And likewise, if I was your Mr Right, I would want to be whole and healthy too, before I come to you.”

    So beautiful, as it shows it’s actually a healthy response in a man to heal himself and wait for us to heal. We are no longer a victim. I love this so much, thank you!



  98.  #98Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 10:33 am

    This is why for me right now there is just no focus on men at all. It’s not the right focus for becoming whole. It almost implies a lack, this needing or even heavily desiring a man to come and shower us with this that or the other.

    I don’t even need to shower myself with this that or the other. I’m just being.



  99.  #99Emerson on August 11, 2013 at 10:49 am

    77 April rose your post feels insensitive and preachy. Not really helpful. I’m just being raw and honest about how I feel. We are never really completely fixed and some magical moment arrives when we are “whole” as you call it and the. Therefore ready to meet mr right.
    I feel annoyed and angry at your post basically telling me something very simple that I already know and not really a showing any understanding or compassion.



  100.  #100Rori Raye on August 11, 2013 at 10:56 am

    Kits, Welcome, and what you need is 1. The ebook, then Targeting Mr. Right!!! You are not anywhere NEAR a relationship with this man, and long distance sucks! You need to Circular Date and stop thinking of this as ANYTHING but a dating situation. Love, Rori



  101.  #101Kits on August 11, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Thank you so so so much Rori, your advice is the best I can get – I already know that! Got my eBook, and so now I happily proceed to getting my Targeting Mr Right programme! Thank you ever so much!!!



  102.  #102Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 11:02 am

    Hello lovelies

    are we ever consistently whole and happy though or are we always healing? I certainly don’t want a void that I think only a man can fill and I take responsibility for filling my own void but sometimes a man can be part of that too? part of healing? can’t they?

    I’m not attached to the above ideas in any way just musing

    I find aspiring to the whole and happy keeps me in this kind of desire for some ideal that one day I hope to attain whilst I miss what I have in the now. I am speaking ONLY for me I have been feeling this a lot recently I am always so busy striving for my ideal of perfection which probably doesn’t exist – for me it all comes back round to love me now

    I have been soaking up your posts too Erika It feels inspiring to read your ideas about higher standards and right – I was even talking with my friend about it earlier – the need for higher standards across the board with men, with my work and with my friends – maybe with myself – it all comes back to how much I love myself

    I just read loveability by Robert Holden who writes that the foundation of every difficulty in life can be traced back to the one fear “I am unloveable” based on the very convincing idea from the course of miracles that all that is not love is fear (there is only love and fear nothing else) and that all fear comes down to this one intrinsic fear.

    Raising your standards is a loving act and one I am attempting as deposits in the self-love bank. As is doing so in the face of fear.

    I bought some Rose oil today as influenced by Dominique – soothing and beautiful – I have it on my wrists – that was a deposit in the self love bank



  103.  #103Indigo on August 11, 2013 at 11:18 am

    Sophie,

    I can’t really speak to what April Rose and Erika meant in their posts, but some thoughts of mine:

    – I’m not sure what “whole” means, but I do believe in being self-contained in a relationship. In other words, you try your best not to make your partner the victim of your issues and insecurities. So we are all a work in progress, and we are all working on ourselves, but we try to take responsibility for our own self-development and growth. I don’t think you have to be fully healed to be in a relationship but I do believe you have a responsibility to your partner to try not to hurt them, project onto them or otherwise have a negative impact on them when it comes to your own stuff. This won’t always be possible, but I believe it is the loving, responsible thing to strive for.

    – I fully believe in, and have experienced, healing through relationship. Men and women. I believe loving, thoughtful relationships take the two people in them through ever progressing stages of healing. I don’t think two people need to be whole to undertake this process – I think they need to be compatible in ways I don’t understand in terms of their healing.



  104.  #104Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Hi Indigo

    yes. I like the idea of experiencing healing through relationship. I would like to experience some more of this in loving, gentle ways (rather than the head-mashing ways I have experienced far too much!) 🙂

    I know how it feels to ‘use’ a man when I am feeling empty and scared and all those things, from my younger years – I never want to feel that I need another person to fill me up again – I don’t believe I will

    Being compatible sounds healthy and having a commitment I guess to healing and growing like others have said here otherwise it’s easy to outgrow someone or it feels like ‘work’



  105.  #105Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 11:38 am

    If I haven’t learned how to stand on my own two feet, without needing a man, then the second he shows up … well, I’ve done it before … fall right back into the old patterns of giving my power away, looking to him for answers I need to find in myself, living in fear of loss …

    It’s what happened in reverse to me with this recent guy. He was trying to make me his everything instead of getting his own purpose worked out first. It doesn’t work. It felt horrible to be the person he was glomming on to for dear life.

    And just because a relationship has longevity and looks good from the outside doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Just this week I got a glimpse inside that kind of relationship, and I don’t want it. I’m appreciating more and more the value of being single until the relationship of two whole people can really happen.



  106.  #106Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 11:59 am

    To see a woman living like a child … like I had to live as a child, which felt like a prison … Financially and emotionally dependent, walking on eggshells, never sure whether she’s going to get a small “allowance” so no choices are truly her own … Can’t get a straight answer about anything because everything is being measured against whether a man is going to approve of it … This passes as “normal” yet it now feels absolutely horrifying to me … Horrifying …



  107.  #107Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    Many of us without knowing the real scoop would look at that relationship from the outside and feel envious … We’d be angry because she seems to “have it all” … in truth, she has nothing … She doesn’t have herself, she doesn’t know herself, there is a void where a person is meant to be … I make a commitment to myself no longer to be deceived by illusions … no longer will I make myself miserable over stuff like this.



  108.  #108Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    yes, I notice those things in myself Erika – falling into giving my power away, fearing loss, looking for answers I need to find myself

    it’s so interesting how easily it can happen – now I realise I am so much better at recognising it happening in the very early stages and pulling myself back and asking what am I needing, what am I wanting, what am I lacking and looking to fufil that in myself – it feels good to acknowledge that progress I have made, that awareness definitely wasn’t there before or the knowledge of what I need to do for myself, always for myself, to get back on track, rein myself in



  109.  #109Dominique on August 11, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    Sophie – 97 – Healing is a life long journey, and growing and blossoming are as well. We are constantly (hopefully) in this process which I think is a beautiful thing.

    So two people can come together, flawed, imperfect, yet on their respective healing paths. They can inspire each other, support each other, as they grow which can be together or not.

    In my experience the growing goes on quietly without much if any discussion. It just is.

    And then maybe one day you might look back and marvel at how you have transformed, and your man too, as your relationship grows more intimate, strongly connected, profound.

    xxoo



  110.  #110Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    Yes it is beautiful and meaningful life long growing it would feel beautiful to have someone to share that with too

    thank you Dominique your words are always so easy to read and so gentle and so inspiring

    I just felt snubbed by a man blergh but I recognise my mind is very sensitive and defensive today I decided really really quickly to put it down to whatever (nothing to do with me) and put it out of my mind – tomorrow is another day 🙂



  111.  #111Wildgeranium on August 11, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    subscribing…thought it was already 🙂



  112.  #112Hana on August 11, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    ((((((WG)))))) Thank you!!

    Indigo, I’m glad you’re feeling better 🙂



  113.  #113LoveAlways on August 11, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Hi sirens

    feeling groovy! Feeling so relaxed and happy! Let my boy energy get me to a private ocean front resort and I’m loving it!! A wondrous private beach. This feels heavenly and I deserve every bit of it!! Stocked the pantry so I can stay put, except for walking the shore. I feel like the queen I’m am! The sun feels glorious and warm and the breeze feels cool and calming. The sand makes me feel grounded and connected, and deep inside I feel sweet serene love. Love for me for always. I want to start my siren venture over. I want to breathe positive feminine energy throughout my day. This is my break to rejuvenate. Recharge. I’m not bathing suit perfect again but I’ll get there. Putting on my two pie e anyway! Loving my body today just the way it is and I am beautiful! I am here to celebrate the end of my 40 days and I feel free and I have wings. I am here to embrace and capture this feeling to never ever lose it again for no man, for no reason. Wish me love and success!!!

    LoveAlways



  114.  #114LoveAlways on August 11, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    Feeling all the elements! The sun, the air, the earth and the water . . . Balanced energy



  115.  #115LoveAlways on August 11, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    And I’m shining in all my royalty. I feel so feminine and sparkly. I see men appreciate my vibe, women and children too (who can resist shiny sparkly & lovely all wrapped up into one??)



  116.  #116Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Love it Love Always! SHINE! and ENJOY! I just got out my notebook and wrote book a massage on the end of my to do list – need to start committing to myself 🙂



  117.  #117LoveAlways on August 11, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    And if you are wondering, no, I don’t feel the slightest bit of lonely or longing for any man because that attention love and adoration is soon to come! Just today, not right now . . . This is me time, my time, the queen’s retreat in further preparation.this feels amazing



  118.  #118LoveAlways on August 11, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Yes Sophie! Go for it! Treat yourself good like the royalty you are siren!



  119.  #119LoveAlways on August 11, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Siren at play in the sun. Today this fabulous beach is my meadow



  120.  #120Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    Thanks Sophie.

    LoveAlways, that sounds wonderful 🙂

    Got another confirmation today of raising my standards. I started requiring more commitment from affiliates who want recurring commissions because the payouts are huge.

    This affiliate got triggered by it and asked me to make an exception for him. Instead I held my ground and as with my client, helped him understand everything I’m doing behind the scenes and why I need more support to be giving such huge payouts.

    Well, I heard nothing for a few days and I just left it alone. I actually forgot all about it. Today he showed back up again, says he’s in, and applied his commissions to a full year membership. Now I know it’s much more likely he’ll really be in and stick with it, because I didn’t lower my standards. This feels great, and like a wonderful confirmation of being on the right path with this.



  121.  #121Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    I also told the other guy who tried to flirt with me that it felt uncomfortable and I don’t want flirting to get in the way of clarity about relationship dynamics. The flirting really didn’t feel good, and I feel glad and relieved that I spoke up about it.



  122.  #122Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    It does help to hear your experiences Erika – thank you for sharing – I’m going to have to do my boundaries the other way round (but it’s the same thing I have to do a boundary so as to achieve what works for me) I am trying to find a computer formatting expert who can work in partnership with me for as low a rate as possible and it feels hard for me not to go okay then and out price myself

    I am going to have to love myself through any uncomfortable feelings and honour myself through this process – I am working for a low price whilst I build up clients so I need someone who can match me in that

    Energetically I hope I am matched to someone like me



  123.  #123Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    So far its all worked out perfectly for me but my learned default seems to be doubt and fear x I am learning to trust in the working outness x



  124.  #124Sophie on August 11, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    Thanks Love Always 🙂



  125.  #125Emerson on August 11, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    I have been using feeling messages and “I don’t want” .. It’s amazing the good responses I get from men.



  126.  #126Hana on August 11, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    Hi Ladies,

    My spirit has been lifted a little these past few days, I guess I’ve moved from mourning to acceptance regarding A.

    Today I got a text from a man who I dated a long time ago and who texts me every once in a while to see how I’m doing. When we originally dated he was very interested and nearly proposed but dissapeared. It turned out he has a history of depression, but more severe than my own. Anyhow….a month ago he asked me out and because of a misunderstanding we never made it to a date, and me so head over heals for A and my problems didn’t bother with him. So, E wants to see me and make it happen this time. I just don’t know if I should see him, because he’s had such a topsy turvy history with me. But because I find that we both are so similar and have struggled with this mental disease I would be wrong and very hypocritical to not give him a chance. What do you Sirens think? Dinner couldn’t hurt…

    Hmmmm

    ??



  127.  #127Emerson on August 11, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Love always your vibe feels insincere



  128.  #128Cris on August 11, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Hana, why not? good luck and don’t forget to tell us 🙂



  129.  #129Hana on August 11, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Thanks Cris- I guess it’s so much more comfortable to just not date, but I can’t avoid people and men… I feel a little afraid to date again, I don’t know if it’s because I’m vulnerable from my past heartache or I’m scared that I don’t know how to do all the things I’ve learned this past little while, or most of all I’m afraid that something will work out, and that’s just me trying to sabotage something that may be wonderful. I’m sure others also have these thoughts sometimes I suppose….

    Cris, How are you??



  130.  #130Cris on August 11, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Thank you for asking dear Hana, for sure I am very impulsive and I would meet… but if you are not going to be 100 % comfortable, yes, better waiting for another occasion! I am ok, just tried to find perseids at the sky and I found two!! I am training my patience trying to be a calm person … well I did not succeed in 51 years but …
    take care darling



  131.  #131April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    Emerson,

    Sorry if I came at you all preachy-like and insensitive.
    There was no reason for me to do that. Please accept my apologies.

    I felt triggered by your use of the word hopeless. It conjured an image of a woman who had given up and fallen on the floor, unable to live happily without the thing she craves. I felt triggered by what I perceived as your desperate craving for a relationship. It came across as you not being able to be happy without that.

    Sorry. It most likely is all my stuff.



  132.  #132April Rose on August 11, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    We are all whole.

    At whatever stage of our development, we are nontheless whole. I believe that.

    It’s all a case of emphasis – do I choose to emphasise the love that’s in my heart, or the fear.



  133.  #133Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    Even though Emerson got triggered by it, I’m glad you posted it April Rose.

    It’s a really nice fresh way of looking at it. Do I really want a guy who will be with me when I’m being like the recent guy was with me? No, because if he’ll tolerate that, then it’s not very likely I’m ever going to grow into my most powerful self. So this new lens is a way to see that he is giving me a gift by leaving.

    I don’t want to feel desperate and fearful in a relationship. I want to feel the way I feel in my business, where I have the skills and the personal power to create safety for myself and encourage real commitments and not settle for less than what I really want. And if a guy had stayed with me and tolerated my co-dependent neediness, probably I never would have blossomed in these ways …

    So I am still feeling very grateful you posted it.



  134.  #134Elsie on August 11, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Hi all.

    I’m sorry I have been so absent here. But, then again, not really. I have been having an amazing time. I had a wonderful trip for work, and had a lot of time to myself which was wonderful.

    Met CollegeCD for a date on Friday -he stayed all night. It was amazing. He is the most kind and compassionate, patient and understanding man….EVER. He is amazing.

    The things he says to me are too numerous to type here. We knew each other 25 years ago, and nothing has changed in terms of our friendship. We have now been dating for about a month and a half and as he says….we have amazing chemistry and are just perfect together.

    He texted me yesterday and said “Well, you’ve done it Elsie. I have thought about you all day. What does that mean?” I texted back and said – It feels good to hear that you are thinking of me. What do you think it means? And he said – I dont know but I really like it. We just have amazing chemistry and I just feel like I can be myself around you.

    This is 100% true. I laugh so much with him. I have no idea what we talk about but its 8 hours later and my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. And we talk about our future together – that NEVER EVER EVER happened with GS. Ever. CollegeCd said, “I will follow you anywhere, you know that.” Amazing.

    We have had very serious talks – much more serious than you should have after a month and a half.

    I have told him, no s3x until monogomy and complete committed relationship. I am not there yet with him because I feel skittish. I bet it if were up to him, he would commit to me in a heartbeat. How funny is it that I am now the one that is pushing the brakes to make sure I dont do the same thing I did with GS? Healthy…healthy…healthy. I love it.

    He has already met some of my friends, and is going out for a celebration in a couple of weeks my friends are throwing and meeting all of them. GS would have NEVER done that – he never met any of my friends, except one time by chance. Ugh.

    The wonderful thing about this is that I truly believe that I could let CollegeCD go if things started to turn. There is NO PART of me that is clinging, holding, panicked. Nothing. Open palm…..open palm It just feels so healthy. If it doesnt work out, then it doesnt. I know that I want to feel healthy with myself and about myself either with someone or without, so there you go.

    This man is stepping it up. I need ot have a talk with GS tomorrow and let him know that texting me at night is no longer ok (I havent texted him back in 10 days now.) I told CollegeCd a bit about GS only because we were talking histories, and it just seemed really natural.

    I’m telling you guys – CollegeCD is awesome. He has my playbook and genuinely cares about me. I truly feel like there is nothing I could say that would drive him away. I dont feel like I have to watch every word with him, but I do work on how I phrase things to him just because I want to be the healthiest version of me and have a healthy relaitonship with him.

    Anyway – enough of me yammering on. I really really like this guy. A lot. Can you tell? LOL



  135.  #135Millie on August 11, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    I feel so thick and heavy today. My head feels so heavy and cloudy. I am not alone, but I feel alone. I feel undesired. My body feels like an empty shell, all it wants to do is lie down. I can’t focus clearly on any task. I’ve had my period for a week, maybe that’s why, that never happens to me…I don’t feel like eating, although I know I should. I just feel like crying, without talking. Only frogs would spill out of my mouth instead of beautiful pearls. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t felt this depressed in such a long time. It is a feeling I had forgotten, yet an all too familiar state returning. I thought I had left it behind. Why this lifelessness..listlessness….I have to do work, but my mind feels like foggy clouds, soft, linty, with no direction. I hope it can wait until tomorrow. I hope tomorrow I will feel like working again.



  136.  #136Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    Thank you men who left for not allowing me to continue to be a small, pitiful version of myself … Thank you for giving me the opportunity to become truly whole on my own.



  137.  #137Zia on August 11, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    I feel like I’m just beyond this mid way point, where I know I don’t want the kind of men I was attracting before, but I don’t yet recognize the men that I do want. There are men everywhere but I’m just not “seeing” them. I went on this date the other night and he was someone I’d love as a friend but nothing more. It feels weird, to not be attracted to anyone.



  138.  #138Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    Zia, I’ve had that feeling and those thoughts before. What I’m trying now is not to focus on men at all. God knows which man I’m meant to be with, and I really don’t think God is going to mess it up as far as bringing us together. So I don’t focus on men at all. I don’t know if this will work, yet I have a very good feeling about it … plus it feels great right now in the moment, it’s such a relief not to focus on men … off to massage now …



  139.  #139Zia on August 11, 2013 at 6:28 pm

    133 Erika – The only effort I’m putting into with regards to “meeting men” is just interacting with people on a day to day basis (when I’m going to work, shops etc) and making an extra effort to go out with friends who I don’t normally go out with, to expand my circles and meet new people. The thought of actively dating feels… wrong. I feel a pushback when I try and suss it out. So, I’m turning my attention to my career and finances. That feels like the right direction to focus my energy for now.

    I’m glad though that I don’t feel like i’m playing some kind of “waiting game” which is what I used to feel whenever I was single. I feel like I have power and a direction to focus that power.

    It still feels weird though! hehe



  140.  #140Elise on August 11, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Hello fellow sirens, it’s been a long time since I’ve been here….this year has been plagued with unfortunate events (physically, medically, emotionally).

    Let me rewind to one year ago, August 2012- my on/off boyfriend and I decided to “try it again” but this time I used the skills from Rori. Stop rowing, let him initiate, use feeling messages. Everything was going well until mid November, the last time I saw him. He texted me happy thanksgiving but did not try to initiate contact after. I called him on Christmas (I witnessed a traumatic accident where a woman was ran over and had severe head trauma and I stopped to render aide) and wanted to talk to him. He texted me but that was our last communication. I dealt with PTSD throughout January, was in the hospital Feb, had a car accident in March, surgery May-June (three) and nothing. I found out that he was seeing someone the end of July- ironically the same day I found out about her he proposed to her!

    I went through a slew of emotions…I followed Rori’s rules to allow him to come to me, but he never did… I still feel like there’s unfinished business. Even though I’m still recovering from my last surgery and a little limpy I went on a date this weekend and it felt really good. It was nice to replace “the last date”. I wanted to get some of the sirens feedback if I should try to talk with him about this? I’ve known him 6 years but we were only dating three and a half (on/off) of those… it’s not like him to just “cut me out” and especially the fact he told me several times he didn’t think he wanted a family (she has kids). I’m wondering if he wanted all this but not with me. Two of my friends think it’s because he’s black and I’m white (we looked at his Facebook page and he’s only friends with other black people, minus three Hispanics). I just don’t know how to feel other than confused.

    Any help would so very be appreciated!

    PS I LlamaButterfly still around? 😉



  141.  #141Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Yea I hear you, Zia … what I mean is that I’ve let go of even trying to decide what kind of man would feel good … some people find visualizing helpful … mostly I actually find it unhelpful. It feels like too much fantasy and effort, not even sure how to put words to why it feels yucky to visualize for me.

    “What you leave as vacant God will fill.” It’s not just that I’m putting no energy into specific men, I’m also no longer trying to decide what kind of man or relationship I would want. Just leaving it entirely blank. It feels much more relaxing.

    Last week my 110-minute massage was actually pretty disappointing. I decided not to complain about it and just let it go. When I was getting the massage, I started thinking – instead of envisioning ONE man partnering with me and supporting me, how about I think of God supporting me – through the entire Universe. God as my partner. I understand this is not a “new” thought. People do talk about this. I just FELT it in a new way. And without me even asking, the woman added 30 minutes on my massage tonight for free, 30 amazing minutes I might add. And I got the 110-minute massage that I’d hoped for last week … tonight … when I really needed it … well, I sure felt supported after that.



  142.  #142Erika Awakening on August 11, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    I mean tonight, when I was getting a regular 80-minute massage, she added on the time … that felt so good to receive 🙂



  143.  #143Zia on August 11, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    OOh I think I should book myself in for a massage.

    Further to all I’ve posted – today I feel *FULL* of love. Like, I feel so full of love it’s overflowing out into the world. What I love is that it’s all coming from ME!

    <3 <3 <3



  144.  #144Veronica on August 12, 2013 at 12:52 am

    LoveAlways -108 – Amazing.



  145.  #145Veronica on August 12, 2013 at 12:56 am

    I feel a very strong urge to be advice-y and it feels like not a good energy to be in. What I will say is: it’s good to be hearing from the sirens and I’m happy that I found this blog. Hugs to you all.



  146.  #146Leyli on August 12, 2013 at 4:44 am

    Rori….
    Nice and deep poem. I felt my girl power while reading it..
    And Rori’s tools are really amazing especially the feeling messages. That has helped me a lot to have my feminine power that will stay with me for life time. Thank you Rori, love you and appreciate you!
    But we have to be careful with Circular Dating. Not always it’s helpful. Sometimes it can get you more stuck and messy. I mean OK, if you’re over 40 and your biological clock is ticking, there is no reason why you shouldn’t go for it. But for us, those who are younger must really think about it before it damages our relationship with a really good man like it did for me. Of course if you’re with a guy who treats you more like a friend and the romance is fading, really fading then circular dating is the best option. But if you’re with a nice man and the romance is there and he has mentioned you in his future, my advice is don’t date others just because you’re not married yet or there is no ring yet.
    I was kind of “brainwashed” by the idea of circular dating. I was constantly like hmmm, what would Rori do, what does Rori teach to do, what would she say? ( I know Rori that it’s not what you want us to be like, I know it’s my own mistake that I perceived your teachings like that, I know you are saying to follow your intuition because we all have the answers inside of us, we just have to listen and I didn’t I was simply tool-crazy. My mistake and no offence dear Rori) So I wasn’t my self anymore.
    With my today’s mind I would now know that if I consider dating others too, and say it to him he will perceive it as a threat and disrespect. Because: a) from the early beginning he told me he is serious about us and isn’t looking for short-term fun, b) he was the man I was the girl. He did all the contact, he gave me flowers every time we met, always held my hand, always tried to be helpful in every way he possibly could, always tried to make me feel happy and loved c) the emotional and physical connection between us was (and is) so intense that I believe many people don’t experience that at anytime in their lives. Our hearts were and are truly connected. d) I was the one who wasn’t ready for marriage ( and still not, I’m not financially stable, I’m 22, nearly 23 and now working towards to get into university, and he would understand that, but because I brainwashed myself I was sending mixed signals to him and that got him confused, too confuse). And because of all the reasons I listed above I now would know that I don’t want or need to even consider circular dating, that I have a wonderful man and I just have to be myself, my feminine me of course with the healthy boundaries. But I was rude and childish.
    He wasn’t perfect, he had difficulties with planning what to do, and where to take me, usually asking me for help. Even though I told I don’t like planning he still would want help. And I was getting pissed off was like oh you can’t plan things for me, then I should probably consider dating others. Looking back it even feels funny how childish I acted. Because anything else was great, there would be nothing wrong with helping him a bit in that. I know he would worry that he takes me somewhere I don’t like.
    This was my 2 year journey of growing, becoming a feminine+open+warm girl instead of that mixed-up childish+needy+sometimes feminine, open and warm+sometimes cold and “cactusy” always changing thoughts from yes I want to be with you, no I don’t want to be with you one.
    And I did what is not normally suggested to do. After ending things up with me, I contacted him. I told that I miss him and I want to be with him. I love him. And this time I will stick to this decision.
    He told he will call again soon to talk.
    Whatever he decides I know I did the right thing to tell him this and even to contact first. That was my inner feeling, the voice of my love, not the needy nasty voice.

    Love you x



  147.  #147Zia on August 12, 2013 at 5:30 am

    overflowing with love! i’m so excited about the things i’m putting in place for my career 🙂



  148.  #148Zia on August 12, 2013 at 5:30 am

    overflowing with love! i’m so excited about the things i’m putting in place for my career 🙂



  149.  #149Dominique on August 12, 2013 at 5:39 am

    Millie – 130 – Hormones can wreak havoc with our moods. If you’ve been bleeding this long and it’s not usual for you, likely this is in part if not fully causing your low feelings. It will pass. You might try phytoestrogen rich foods, red clover infusion is one of the best, or lots of hummus. The latter is tastier.

    xxoo



  150.  #150Dominique on August 12, 2013 at 5:42 am

    Zia – 🙂 Sounds beautiful.

    xxoo



  151.  #151Zia on August 12, 2013 at 5:57 am

    All I feel for my ex now is love, and I have no problem letting that express in my responses when I hear from him. It feels good to express love out into the world without any expectation back. How good to be in this place right now! Going to give myself a great big warm hug 🙂



  152.  #152Zia on August 12, 2013 at 5:57 am

    Dominique – it feels beautiful too 🙂 🙂



  153.  #153Zia on August 12, 2013 at 5:59 am

    I finally GET what Rori teaches with my whole being. It has taken a bunch of other things from other “teachers” to get there, and a pretty intensive journey at that, but I finally get it.



  154.  #154BeLoved on August 12, 2013 at 7:02 am

    I feel raw.
    I feel like I failed some kind of test.
    I’m believing it would have been better and I “should” have just been present with and breathed through my feelings of abandonment without acting on them and I would be feeling stronger.
    I feel like a misfit somehow.

    Ohh…there it is…feeling out of control!
    I’ve been wanting to “catch” this feeling, to sit with it.
    All the ruminating, wishing, fantasizing, dreaming, ‘shoulda coulda wouldas’ are serving to stem feelings of ‘out of control’.

    A few days ago I pulled an oracle card I had never seen before, the card was “TRUST”.
    It was a picture of a little round craft on the water.
    It said, “this boat has no oars”.

    Okay, I know what to tap on now…
    feeling out of control…
    letting that in, feeling those feelings, feeling them rise up the right side of my body and up through my throat.



  155.  #155Cris on August 12, 2013 at 7:51 am

    I have been listening the song “Shining Light” by Annie Lennox today (several times). It is impossible not to be moved by it!!!



  156.  #156Lisa on August 12, 2013 at 8:36 am

    @Elsie you GO Girl! Enjoy! Yay for you!

    @Zia wonderful! <3 Happy for you!

    @Erika I hear you! I feel that way too… letting go feels good….. visualizing feels too much work… feels like a box to me…

    I have 2 dates tentatively this week.. circle dated last night at the jazz music… I could tell my sireny was off b/c I'm a little set back by "M" it kind of shook up my confidence… I need to work on getting back my confidience…

    OXOX



  157.  #157Indigo on August 12, 2013 at 9:28 am

    Thank you Hana 🙂

    About whether or not to go out with this guy – why not sink into your body about it and see what the first feeling is that comes up – whether it’s pleasurable or not!



  158.  #158Rori Raye on August 12, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Elise, Love and huge hug to you for your steadfastness in taking care of yourself – and Circular Dating! About this man – for me, there ARE no answers to the “why.” Sometimes it’s just not meant to be. It’s not a match. It’s just not there – and the reasons are irrelevant. Romantic Love is romantic love, and all you want to do in this life is to get yourself in front of as many men as possible, be yourself down to your toes as much as possible, feel what you want and don’t want and learn to express yourself in the most vulnerable, congruent way possible, and choose from the men who love you – who love you without question, without complication, without challenge. Who just love you naturally, fully, straightforwardly. And – there are many, many, many men out there like that. If this were me, I’d drop all thoughts of this man, period. Empty out my brain of thoughts of him. Love, Rori



  159.  #159Indigo on August 12, 2013 at 9:39 am

    ((((Millie))))



  160.  #160BeLoved on August 12, 2013 at 10:13 am

    “choose from the men who love you – who love you without question, without complication, without challenge. Who just love you naturally, fully, straightforwardly.”

    This made me smile 🙂
    Yes yes

    I intend to love myself this way.
    Without question.
    Without complication.
    Without challenge.

    Nothing but good will come of it.



  161.  #161Hana on August 12, 2013 at 10:49 am

    Indigo- Thank you! I just let it go, if he wants to see me I’ll say yes but not make too much of an effort, I’m not really available until next week. Indigo, that is great advice on following and going into my intuition!!

    Cris- I sent a comment but think it may not have gotten through. Great for you on the song! I hope to one day watch Flamenco in Spain, it is so intense and enchanting. Do u dance by any chance?
    I also have trouble with impulsiveness from the past, but it’s changing now. Thank God!

    I have news, I went back to work!!! It feels so wonderful I can’t describe what this does for my self confidence. That’s why I’ve been so busy lately. Not working made me so vulnerable and sad. I felt aimless, now I’m gaining all that back.

    Xo



  162.  #162Lisa on August 12, 2013 at 11:01 am

    “choose from the men who love you – who love you without question, without complication, without challenge. Who just love you naturally, fully, straightforwardly.” and I’m going to add for me ” as I am”

    I haven’t’ ever had this! If there are many, many, many men out there… I wish I knew where they are?

    I love the idea of them loving me without conditions, without them blaming me, without complications, without covert communications, without agendas.

    that sounds wonderful to me….

    bring it on! so I can experience it… and know what that feels like… I’m ready!

    side note:

    Today I was gifted a psoas massage… and I’m feeling sleepy, tired and ready for bed now… my body is getting release from 9 years of pain… so I’m sure it needs lots of rest…

    on the other hand anger came up around double standard with men…. they expecting women to do more than they are willing to do… ( I’m only speaking for myself here)… I should take care of my child “E” and keep going even though i’m in pain, not slept all night, keep up the house and laundry and do playdates etc. , still try and work to make money, and not get much help…. and they ( insert said name) can take their time, do things when they like, and only when they feel like it, yada yada….. etc… and I’m just DONE with the double standard!!! Done! if a man expects more out of me, then he is willing to do, no thank you !

    no double standards…… for me…

    bodywork=emotional release….

    getting more clear, stronger….

    OXOXOX



  163.  #163Hana on August 12, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Rori’s advice is so wonderful and spot on. I’m so grateful for this blog!

    I went to a new club last Saturday, “El Rancho where I met new dancers and also ones I see only Tuesday nights, it felt so refreshing to change things up.

    I don’t know if I should go tomorrow night, I’m doing so well and if A shows up it may trigger feelings, but at the same time I want to go on with my lifestyle and Tuesday nights have been so wonderful. I just don’t know if he comes up to me what I would say…

    Xo



  164.  #164Dominique on August 12, 2013 at 11:24 am

    YAY Hana!!!

    xxoo



  165.  #165Violette on August 12, 2013 at 11:28 am

    I feel guilty this morning for letting myself get so stressed out, and I haven’t answered the text from a guy I met last week, who texted me on Sat. And I feel the pressure to hurry it up, but I need to find the time to get my bearings first!

    He’ll wait. A good man won’t freak out that I don’t answer him right back. And I am breathing, and taking the time to get myself together and destress.



  166.  #166Femininewoman on August 12, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Hana what you need is a RockStar style script. I got this from Rori from another thread that you could possibly tweak for your situation:-

    “You change your clothes, hair, everything so you feel different. You show up a church (or wherever) and treat him as a friend and you do this without being false by saying *I am feeling uncomfortable being around you. I would like to cut this relationship off now and I know we can’t because I also don’t want to leave church. I only want to have a cordial businesslike relationship wih you. I still shake whenever I am around you. I would appreciate if you would honor my feelings. And you know what even though I feel all this I’m going to take care of myself and taking care of myself right now is not being around you”.



  167.  #167Femininewoman on August 12, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Here it is I found it on the blog

    https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/what-to-do-with-an-imaginary-relationship/

    So, what is a Rock Star?

    You show up at church. You show up at business and you treat him like a friend. You feel what you feel, which is longing and lust and horror and terror and anger, but you treat him like a friend and you do this without being false by saying to him these exact words. So, write these down.

    I’m feeling uncomfortable being around you. I would like to cut this relationship off now and I know we can’t because I also don’t want to leave church or the gym or our business relationship and so, I only want to have a cordial businesslike relationship with you. I still shake whenever I’m around you. I still feel bad whenever I’m around you. I’d appreciate it if you would honor my feelings.

    So, that is how you are a Rock Star – and what happens is you tell him the truth instead of pretending to be okay.

    You tell him the truth and then you go, “And you know what? Even though I feel all this, I’m going to take care of myself and taking care of myself right now is not being with you,” and then you Circular Date. Circular Dating is pretty much the cure for everything.

    This means you get out and flirt. You learn how to deal with other men. You fill up your calendar



  168.  #168Lisa on August 12, 2013 at 11:50 am

    WOW more clarity

    why do I attract a passive/aggressive man

    b/c I have a belief I need to be punished
    b/c I have a belief I shouldn’t get what I want
    b/c I have a belief that I should sacrifice and work hard to have love
    b/c I’m made to feel guilty easily and I apologize whether or not I’ve actually done anything or not…

    so that is exactly why I attract it… b/c that is what they do…punish covertly, don’t give you what you want, your the one with the problem and therefore the one with the faults…they don’t take responsibility for their part.

    So now I have work to do on my core beliefs….

    and cord cutting to do, within myself…

    BINGO!

    OXOXOX



  169.  #169redbutterfly on August 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Curious to see what you guys think about this. Everything has been going great with my widower, we have been dating almost 9 months now. This afternoon he asked me to meet some friends of his that I have never met. The woman is the best friend of his late wife and has said some nasty things about me (even though she has never met me) and has refused to meet me. Now all of a sudden she wants to meet me because “it will be too awkward to meet me at the football game” whatever that means so she wants us to come to breakfast before the game. I know the right thing to do…suck it up, go, be pleasant and cordial and relieved when it is over. I am just having a hard time changing my attitude and trying to feel pleasant when I know there is that underlying “bitch” vibe going but I will try. My widower said he feels sad that I don’t want to meet them and I tried explaining to him that why do you want to put another quarter in an ass kicking machine? I will go because he is important to me and because he wants me badly to do this. I don’t really care if this chick likes me or not but how do I turn my attitude around so I don’t come off as a total prick?



  170.  #170Mercedes on August 12, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Hi all! I’ve been on a little vacation for a few days now and I know I won’t actually ever get caught up but wanted to stop in and say hey and share my little lesson for today. Not really a living my yoga thing but certainly something I can focus on:

    Never allow anything into your imagination that you don’t want to manifest. Today, when you find your imagination running away with something you don’t desire in your life, put a stop to it. Your imagination is your own. You control it. You can let it run or you can stop it. Give it the freedom to run with the most beautiful thoughts and ideas it can come up with. Stop it from entertaining those things you don’t need or want in your life.

    Keep in mind how important imagination is. Remember….nothing we have today existed before it was imagined. If you can imagine it, you can have it. So make sure you are imagining only the things you want…

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  171.  #171Cris on August 12, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Hana congratulations! It’s good to go to work! thanks for mentioning the Flamenco music, I like it but it is too passionate and I only can listen to it just depending on my state of mind.. I do not dance it… very difficult!
    where are you from?
    good evening everybody



  172.  #172BeLoved on August 12, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    I feel…weird and excited and .. well, I don’t know what to do but I just got it…
    I was listening to the conversation with T in my mind again and I was like…
    Oh, you feel scared, you feel scared to get hurt again.

    We *both* feel scared to get hurt again…we are such perfect mirrors of each other.
    And I’m pretty sure he was feeling rejected (as was I), and our fears and our pain just kept sort of ricocheting.

    What we both want, really really want, is to feel safe and relaxed and safe in love…we really want to feel each other’s hearts and connected and..

    Well, I don’t know what to do or if there is anything to be done about it…
    I can just know, and feel compassion and let whatever this is take it’s course.
    So much power struggle and control going on.

    There’s so much I don’t tell him because I want to ‘one-up’ him and not give him any power to help in *his* way, which is really really good for what he does.

    *sigh*
    Well…boo.
    I want a do-over.



  173.  #173BeLoved on August 12, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    I know I know I keep saying it’s over and done…
    but I don’t believe myself.
    It doesn’t feel over and done.
    I feel like calling and telling him I’m sorry that I didn’t get it, I’m sorry I overreacted.
    I hate doing that, though, he never does it for me I always end up apologizing and I don’t want to give in and do that and…
    I dont’ know.
    I don’t know.
    Breathing.

    I’ll tap on it or something when I get home.



  174.  #174Lisa on August 12, 2013 at 3:54 pm

    @Beloved {{{hugs}}}

    I know that feeling… I’ve had it too…

    I also know how it feels to always be apologizing.. I’m looking further into that also…

    for me it helps to breathe! and trust the process… clarity will come…

    allowing the feelings to surface have their life and then they will go… and more clarity will come in my experience…

    OXOXO



  175.  #175Cris on August 12, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

    … it is the sentence I need now …



  176.  #176Wildgeranium on August 12, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    “Love withdrawal is like heroin withdrawal, involving intense craving and agitation for the love you are missing. You can redirect this energy toward making a significant new connection to yourself.”
    -Susan Anderson



  177.  #177Zia on August 12, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    171: it isn’t love withdrawl. it’s oxytocin withdrawl. and learning the difference allows us to take control, because *we* can give ourselves all the love we need 🙂



  178.  #178Wildgeranium on August 12, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    Zia,

    Yes, that is exactly what she is talking about (In her book). Heroin and oxytocin (and the other chemicals involved) cause the same addiction.

    🙂



  179.  #179Vi on August 12, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    It would feel so good to have a coffee… 🙂



  180.  #180Lisa on August 12, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    I just had a fun convo with a new guy… another “M”… this one makes me laugh so hard. He also ask me questions about me… that is nice… already he says.. I want to reserve 2nights this week with you…

    I had “L” ask me via e-mail to be his girlfriend.. I told him I felt flattered. I have to have more personal time and to get to know someone better… etc… he said “Let the process being”

    so waiting on “D” to call me and set up another date…

    it feels good to have more men coming towards me….

    OXOXO



  181.  #181Lisa on August 12, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    ooops I meant “begin”… LOL’s

    It feels fun again! 🙂



  182.  #182Indigo on August 12, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    Mercedes 165

    I love this!



  183.  #183Indigo on August 12, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    redbutterfly 164

    Yes, for me, I have a great way to turn a situation like this around for myself. Instead of feeling resentment or dislike or anything negative for this woman, try to see her behavior or feelings towards you as a compliment. She would not respond to you in this way unless she felt insecure or threatened in some way. If she didn’t feel that way, she could be around you all day long and not be bothered.

    Try to have compassion on her, on her grief over her best friend, on her inner turmoil she must be feeling to dislike someone she’s never met – this helps me to be kind and gracious and much less bothered.



  184.  #184Indigo on August 12, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    I have been feeling really positive the last couple of days. It feels good and calm, like there is nothing to worry about, like there is nothing that can’t be overcome. This is a really good, comforting feeling.

    Have started coaching because I need the help and support with D, and I feel more positive than I ever have before.



  185.  #185Zia on August 12, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    I’ve sent off the form to enrol in the bridging course I have to do before I start studying next year. How exciting!



  186.  #186Wildgeranium on August 12, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    179. Indigo,

    This sounds good. So happy you are feeling better!

    <3



  187.  #187Erika Awakening on August 12, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    So I just stayed with the anger for days now. Every time it would rise up, I just went into it, felt it burning in my heart, my throat, this screaming raging anger … didn’t act it out, as far as I know, with anyone (yay me) …

    Yesterday I did some intense forgiveness with recording tapping videos … right after money came in from a last-minute rental, and my cat was running around like a kitten … I felt a huge weight lifted off me …

    Then tonight I went to the vet where I took Fritz almost a year ago to the hospital – to get him a new bag of food. It felt eerie walking in there, so many memories from our horrible four day stay there … sadness came up, it’s such a sterile place, and yet I felt my heart opening and felt so much gratitude that we got through that and my boy is against all odds doing so well now … I felt gratitude for all the people there who helped us …

    Then I went to Whole Foods to get some groceries – and I felt the anger shift there. Big time. I felt this joy in my heart and sometimes a smile on my face. I saw people in a new light. I saw a few couples shopping together, which in the past would have had me feeling jealous and lacking …

    Tonight I knew, knew it with my whole heart, that I did not want to be in any of those relationships. I’ve already done that. It did not work, no matter how anyone tried to make it work. I don’t want it. I’m not going to play that game anymore.

    I saw lots of men, and I felt nothing. I felt neutral. I did not feel attracted, I did not want anything from them. They felt as neutral to me as aisles and aisles of food.

    Another $600 came in while I was in Whole Foods, and when I got home, I knew there would be a perfect parking place open for me. It was there, waiting for me. Everything felt so effortless.

    The epiphany I had tonight in Whole Foods is how, by letting go of the special relationship, I have let go of the past. I have let go of my burdens. Course in Miracles teaches this very explicitly. It says we can’t let go of the past without letting go of the special relationship. Vindicating and reliving the past is the only purpose of the special relationship.

    Tonight for the first time, I really FELT the meaning of that. Without the special relationship, what is there to be angry about? suddenly the past is gone, and everything is in the light. I don’t really know how to explain any of this, and I still am not sure anyone will understand.

    For me, I can see it so clearly now. The special relationship offers nothing that I want. And I can walk out of prison by letting it go …



  188.  #188Erika Awakening on August 12, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    “It is impossible to let the past go without relinquishing the special relationship. For the special relationship is an attempt to re-enact the past and change it. Imagined slights, remembered pain, past disappointments, perceived injustices and deprivations all enter into the special relationship, which becomes a way in which you seek to restore your wounded self-esteem. What basis would you have for choosing a special partner without the past? Every such choice is made because of something ‘evil’ in the past to which you cling, and for which must someone else atone.

    “The special relationship takes vengeance on the past. By seeking to remove suffering in the past, it overlooks the present in its preoccupation with the past and its total commitment to it. No special relationship is experienced in the present.”

    – A Course in Miracles

    Amen. Amen. Amen.



  189.  #189Erika Awakening on August 12, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    “It is impossible to let the past go without relinquishing the special relationship. For the special relationship is an attempt to re-enact the past and change it. Imagined slights, remembered pain, past disappointments, perceived injustices and deprivations all enter into the special relationship, which becomes a way in which you seek to restore your wounded self-esteem. What basis would you have for choosing a special partner without the past? Every such choice is made because of something ‘e*v*il’ in the past to which you cling, and for which must someone else atone.

    “The special relationship takes vengeance on the past. By seeking to remove suffering in the past, it overlooks the present in its preoccupation with the past and its total commitment to it. No special relationship is experienced in the present.”

    – A Course in Miracles

    Amen. Amen. Amen.



  190.  #190Erika Awakening on August 12, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    Throat feels tight after posting those, though my body feels warm an alive … I wonder if there’s still fear in my throat … like I’m not allowed to say this, that I don’t believe in the special relationship anymore, that I don’t think it can work … not really … not in any way I would ever want at this point in my journey. Maybe my throat is saying that I feel scared that others will be angry or dismissive, that I’m spoiling the party for everyone else … I dunno and wow is my throat burning and tight all of a sudden …



  191.  #191Emerson on August 12, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    165 Mercedes
    Love love love!!!



  192.  #192Millie on August 12, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    @144 Dominique-

    Thank you! Yes, I do feel my hormones were to blame for my awful mood this wknd. Complete 180 in 24 hours. Next time I will stock up on hummus! haha

    I feel excited…I told a guy I like that I’m not interested in friends with benefits or hooking up….even though we made out the first time we met…It was a amazing though, no regrets! I felt really good saying that to him, and I feel really good about his answers. He invited me to go hiking this weekend. So we will see! 🙂

    I don’t really know what to do about musician..if you guys remember…. I’ve kind of lost interest and I confronted him about whether he has a gf or not. He evaded the answer and I figured I wouldn’t hear from him again. Not the case….not only did he invite me to his show last week, but was blowing up my phone today while I was at work wanting to see me. I feel a bit like yelling “ARE YOU STUPID!” because I brought up the fact he never answered and all he said was that he isn’t looking for a gf. If he has one, I am baffled by his persistence. If he doesn’t have one, I’m baffled he doesn’t just say so. I feel bored with him. I tried ending things today by saying that I like him as a musician, but I can’t knowingly hurt another woman. He’s like-what woman?? I’m perplexed….I truly think he has one. Anyway……that whole thing doesn’t really matter.



  193.  #193Millie on August 12, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    @Lisa 175

    So happy to hear this! I’ve been out of the loop a bit, but happy to see and hear your progress always 🙂



  194.  #194Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 12:00 am

    Thanks love always for your reply I feel heard and I feel all soft toward you ..



  195.  #195SportySmile on August 13, 2013 at 2:28 am

    Hi,

    This is a beautiful siren song. I have been reading Modern Siren and Targetting Mr Right and this poetry is awesome.

    I am into CD and I met a man from one dating site.

    His profile said Single but on the first date he said he is married and his wife is not staying with him.

    I want to know whether I should continue dating him as he has asked me for further dates right the next day.

    I am new in CD and so I am still not blocked with dates (I am working slowly up there)

    What should i do ? I want to have fun, I want to CD and I do not want to marry a man who is married (as he did not say he is divorced)

    Thank You,



  196.  #196BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 4:52 am

    Erika – I hear you – it really has been for me, trying to right the wrongs of the past.
    Wanting that guy who was abusive to me to own it and I’m finally *so* good and soft and lovely he can open his heart to me and really love me and finally we will be redeemed
    or something

    This morning I was tapping on how awful it feels
    to have the Guru Guy, the guy who TEACHES and holds WORKSHOPS about heart opening, to tell me he would have to be insane to open his heart to ME.

    I felt like a filthy piece of trash, something is so wrong with ME
    that the Guru Guy, who is all at the festival, all smiles and adored, sounding soooo convincing,
    won’t open his heart to ME because…?
    Something must be really wrong with me?

    Another part of me knows it isn’t even about me.
    That was a tape that was rolling long before I ever came along. He was projecting his parental/God stuff on me, which, not coincedentally, pushed my “not good enough” “I’m subhuman” “unworthiness” buttons.

    I don’t feel ready to let go, even though there are thoughts of “I should let go” and I’m saying with my words that I’m letting go…I just love him so much, I really really do and it’s hard to believe we won’t work this out somehow, some way.

    I love myself for not feeling ready to let go.
    I love myself just as I am in this moment.

    Lisa thanks you and hugs back atcha (((Lisa)))



  197.  #197BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 4:59 am

    I just googled “It’s not about you” and found this:

    “That night I walked into a meeting and saw my new sponsor sobbing uncontrollably, with a group of women huddled around her. And my immediate thought was: “What did I do wrong? Did I say something to her? Was I supposed to call her?” And then, “She’s upset with me because I’m a bad person.” I had only known her for 12 hours! While everyone else was tending to her in her time of need, all I could do was think about what I had done wrong.

    Then it struck me: “This has nothing to do with me. Whatever happened was not my fault. I felt a wave of relief, an internal shift that felt like I had just had a chiropractic adjustment. I saw that I had been living with a self-centered sense of unworthiness.”

    http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Glees-Jane-Lynch-on-When-Its-Not-About-You

    Ding ding ding ding ding!!

    I feel curious and wonder how realizing this might shift my experience of life and others…?



  198.  #198BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 5:03 am

    “I realized that if I’m obsessing about my own feelings, I’m not present with the people around me—and am frankly of no use to them.”

    I noticed this yesterday, that it was difficult for me to be present and have a good time with my co-worker yesterday because my mind kept wandering and obsessing over T.

    I feel scared of what this might mean…
    I put aside my feelings with a friend a few months ago to be there for her, but ended up with a full-blown gallbladder attack that left me feeling horrible for days, the pain it stirred up in me felt sooo bad.

    So..I feel uncertain about how to see this in a balanced way.



  199.  #199Syreena on August 13, 2013 at 6:27 am

    I felt sad to hear about the Guru guy saying that to you Beloved.
    What was that all about?
    Do you go to his workshops classes or something?



  200.  #200Syreena on August 13, 2013 at 6:39 am

    Is there a tool for dropping all thinking when a thought pops in our head?
    Is it best to go to the feeling and work with that and onto the next and next.
    S



  201.  #201Syreena on August 13, 2013 at 6:51 am

    Sometimes I find myself thinking about a certain people and feel hurt by their actions or inactions.

    Usually then ebd up crying at the realisation that i have no control over what they do or don’t do.

    This does not feel so bad with people are not really in my life much now. When it hurts the most is when it is close family. parents, children, partners etc. Especially if they are dependent on us for anything or us on them. As in these kind of relationships do need healthy interdependency to be in connected loving realtionships. Otherwise we are either co dependent or living parallel disconnected lives along side them, where we/them are physically in the presence or another room but feeling lonlier when they are there than when we are alone. Or unhappy, on edge, sad, etc.
    This feels awful when that happens.

    The worst for me are either stressed and pressured.
    Or like I am a ghost or inamminate object around them.



  202.  #202LoveAlways on August 13, 2013 at 7:11 am

    <3 Veronica, Emerson, Erica Awakening <3

    Good morning sirens.

    This me time at the shore is amazing! I feel refreshed, released and breathing. I am back on bridge now! This break was for balance. And the balance involves my boy energy and girl energy. I'm in tune now, my energies are on the same page now. While I still feel conflicted, I've come to terms with that. Negative voice. This is about healing. I am healing and feeling it all with each baby step I take.



  203.  #203BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 7:40 am

    Syreena – haha, no, I was part of his path in creating them.



  204.  #204Mercedes on August 13, 2013 at 7:46 am

    I am changing my vibrational frequency today. Right this minute. Completely upbeat…positive…optimistic…happy…flowing…light…excited…radiant…

    Getting ready for the most amazing things coming my way…zero stress…peace.

    This is happening right now…this very minute…because stress no longer serves me and isn’t necessary in my life. No more negativity. No more doubts. No more fears. No more insecurities. Negative people won’t be able to STAND being around me. 🙂

    Changes are coming for all of us ladies. I feel it. Put on your happy vibes! Its best to meet changes with your happy vibes on! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  205.  #205redbutterfly on August 13, 2013 at 8:06 am

    -178 indigo
    Thank you for your lovely words of advice! 🙂



  206.  #206Lisa on August 13, 2013 at 8:09 am

    @ Millie Thanks so much! <3

    @ Beloved! Sometimes ( in my experience) GURU's might not have all their stuff dealt with.
    It isn't about you.

    OXOX



  207.  #207Veronica on August 13, 2013 at 8:11 am

    I feel like the relationship and the love that existed in the relationship has been honoured. I can let go now. Something in me has been able to do this so easily now. Also knowing that BM also regards it as very valuable has helped.

    BM very much wants to keep in contact. At first I was very nervous, not sure if I could trust my feelings. But I spent a lot of time thinking and feeling through the kind of boundaries I wanted, what I wanted. Understanding that this opportunity is just for me to practice helps me to feel safe and unencumbered. I’m watchful of what comes up for me. I can feel that inner boundary in myself where I won’t go back to hoping for a relationship. I can feel that we’re connected, I notice that it’s there and don’t want to make more of it, I only explore it for myself. I’m also afforded the luxury of not in any way knowing where this is going. Only the moment of communication is what exists, not much else. I am very thankful and feel challenged by what is being presented to me.



  208.  #208Veronica on August 13, 2013 at 8:12 am

    Hi LoveAlways : )



  209.  #209redbutterfly on August 13, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Had a long cry and a good night’s sleep last night and man, can that do wonders for your attitude! Widower was sympathetic and wanted to talk about me being upset. I am trying to change my way of bottling things up in a relationship and brushing things off. So happy he insists on talking even though he knows I don’t want to. He’s such a good guy! I think I was mostly upset that I have no control of the situation with his friend who doesn’t want him dating because she is still grieving. That is probably the bottom line here.

    But I feel good today and tomorrow morning Widower, my daughter, my mom and I are all taking the “Great American Road Trip” to the Black Hills for a couple of days! So exciting!



  210.  #210BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Lisa 🙂
    There is a saying among my friends who teach this stuff – we teach what we need to learn.

    Syreena – no, I helped him create the stuff he teaches now. I’m off the “all about him” and supporting his purpose wagon, back on my own horse.

    From Louise Hay, “You Can Heal Your Life”;

    We need to choose to release the past and forgive everyone, ourselves
    included.
    We may not know how to forgive, and we may not
    want to forgive, but the very fact that we say we are willing to forgive
    begins the healing process. It is imperative for our own healing
    that “we” release the past and forgive everyone.
    “I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be. I forgive
    you and I set you free.”

    This affirmation sets us free.



  211.  #211Indigo on August 13, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Mercedes 197

    “Negative people won’t be able to STAND being around me. ”

    I found this really interesting. There is a woman at work, whom I feel desperate for because she is being bullied and victimized by her boss, and every time she sees me she wants to let off steam about how much it’s getting to her. Today I said to her “I can’t stand bullying and I won’t allow it in my life. You need to stand up to her”. It was amazing how quickly she wanted to get away from me when I no longer wanted to commiserate with her.

    But my light, peaceful, positive energy is too precious to me to take on the heaviness of others’ negativity – I want to be a light to inspire people to cast off those burdens too!



  212.  #212Syreena on August 13, 2013 at 10:30 am

    felt so heartbroken earlier.

    Realisation why it felt so bad seeing someone victim blaming and not believing the victim was hurt.

    Felt sad fot the victim and angry wanted to makw them remorseful or believe the child.

    Every memory where this had happened to me came black as flashes bum. bum, bum, bum. And the pain and flashes felt awful.

    Broke down crying. Feel lighter now, but felt so scary at the time. I want these memories and flashbacks to go away. I used to just get angry. But now I am getting angry, sad, heartbreak and flashbacks.

    It feels awful.



  213.  #213Lisa on August 13, 2013 at 10:40 am

    @Beloved …..I’ve heard that saying!.. in my circle it is said that “the advice we give to others is what we need to hear”… ( same thing really) 🙂

    kind of like the story of the mother asking the guru to tell her son to stop eating sugar, he said come back in 2 weeks, she was very upset. When she came back with her son. She found out he had to stop eating sugar himself before telling someone else to… I love that story…

    Sorry he said that to you… pretty harsh thing to say…

    and totally HIS loss!

    @Mercedes
    In my experience: Victims don’t want to hear a solution, they just want to continue to talk about how they are being bullied… ( in my experience) and when one offers them a possible solution they do walk away…

    I did TheWork last night and totally am finding more and more out about me… and so much about how we humans and our minds just want to keep our stories going, even if they are painful ones…. the ego needs that identification… totally fun for me to come to more and more understanding…

    OXOXOX



  214.  #214Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 10:53 am

    BeLoved,

    Yes, this morning I woke still with some anger burning around my heart though much less than before and no longer focused on this recent guy or any guy. Now it feels more like the part of me that just doesn’t want to accept the truth. And as I made my cappuccino and saw this beautiful view of the Bay and the sunlight dancing on everything … my mind went back through relationships where I was doing exactly that, trying to make up for something in the past.

    High school didn’t go the way I wanted, so college was a way to prove that I was loveable.

    Yuck about Guru Guy. I mean yuck, yuck, yuck. To me that sounds like someone stuck in the conventional paradigm and judging others based on the conventional paradigm – and what I’m seeing now is that there is nothing wrong with us. It’s the paradigm that is creating all the problems. It’s the paradigm that creates the neediness.

    Without the paradigm, I am already free. The past is gone, I have no need to exact retribution from anyone. I have no need to give any credence to yucky judgments from a “guru guy.” Unless I hold on to the paradigm. I will never be enough if I stay in the paradigm.

    Mercedes, I also feel shifts happening for everyone and I feel very happy about where this all might be going …



  215.  #215Indigo on August 13, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Lisa,

    I can’t help but agree.

    And the trouble is when you commiserate with people, it lets off just enough steam to enable you to keep going back to the same situation without ever doing anything about it.

    I feel as if positivity and empowerment interrupts that negative feedback loop.



  216.  #216Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 11:09 am

    Indigo – 205

    Yes and I feel amazed how many times when I have stood my ground about my boundaries people do come back sooner or later and respect that I set the boundary. No sense continuing to participate in any dynamic that is not serving anyone.

    I’m really seeing things in a new light. I was feeling guilty about not wanting to have a relationship with the recent guy. Now that I see how previous guys had done me a favor by leaving – because I didn’t want those co-dependent dynamics in my heart … I also see how I did him a favor by leaving and drawing a clear line in the sand. What he’s doing is not working for him, and me leaving and setting boundaries is a gift. Wow – coincidence that we are having this stunningly sunny beautiful day in San Francisco? Everything feels in the light today. 🙂



  217.  #217Angel on August 13, 2013 at 11:56 am

    I am plagued by a horrible cold at the moment, and calling in sick to work inspired me to write this. When I made the call, I wanted to apologize. I wanted to ask forgiveness, for being ill! It’s not my fault. Making the call felt so hard, I felt shame, shame for not fulfilling what I imagine to be my duties. I feel embarrassed and apologetic and not at all sireny. I just felt plain bad (which, of course, was made worse since I was ill). This lead my thoughts to other times I feel shame.
    I really don’t like that word by the way. Every time I even imagine myself feeling shame I just want to run away and hide.
    I feel shame when I don’t do something I believe I owe somebody else. Owing the world things has been a part of my life philosophy for so long. Somehow in my mind, being polite has changed meaning from giving the gift of positive attention too someone else to being “the least I could do”. UGH! That feels soooo bad. I really want to puke all over “the least I could do”. And if I carry around that feeling AND shame, ALL THE TIME, is it so strange that I shut myself down? Who’d want to feel like that? No one…
    Taking the example of the water wheel, I have always felt that I need to return at least equally and preferably more than I get. I never realised before how yucky that really feels, and how illogical (how can I give what I don’t have?). I want to give because I feel good and want to, not because I owe. I want to feel good giving, not shameful because I’m not giving enough.

    I feel peaceful and relaxed having found this out about myself. It feels like truth for me. I feel proud and clear-sighted and powerful. My, what a strong word. I feel powerful. I don’t feel like I’m drifting in the ocean, lead this way and that by currents I can’t control. I know this and I can choose what I want to do with this knowledge, or not do. I don’t need to look for a rock to hold on to in a storm, I am the rock. I feel so much better now.

    I don’t really know whether to submit this comment or not. I feel self conscious worrying if it’s too long, too irrelevant, too unedited to be understandable.. But I’m going to send it anyway since I wrote it, and it’s a part of my journey so why not? It’s authentic and it feels important to me.



  218.  #218Dominique on August 13, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    And it’s beautiful Angel. 🙂

    xxoo



  219.  #219BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    It felt confusing and shocking to hear it.
    We let our fear get the better of us.
    I’ve tapped and tapped on a lot of different feelings that have come up, felt the feelings, run through a million stories.
    I did a lot of EFT on “NOT wanting to let go”
    at lunch, which seems to have mysteriously helped me to feel a little better.
    I did have some sugar, so far 1/2 of a Mr. Pibb, which may be helping me feel calmer.
    I feel good about it.
    I see where I put myself in the position to need it and know what I can do differently tonight and tomorrow.

    I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
    Peace begins with me.



  220.  #220BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    Even though I have a hundred million reasons not to,
    I just love him.
    Love love love him.
    It makes no sense, and for no good reason,
    I just love him, really really love him.

    I choose to keep my heart open, even if it hurts sometimes, even if I get set up or set myself up to be hurt sometimes, I will still keep my heart open and allow myself to feel close with people.



  221.  #221Too Much on August 13, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Wow, talking about being a victim and being bullied has really triggered me.

    I feel such a victim and bullied at the moment at work

    And I keep blaming myself – thinking what am I doing wrong.

    This woman speaks to me like I am a child. Like I am stupid. She drives me up the wall.

    However she does talk to everyone like that.

    She seems to have no friends and goes from one person to another.

    I feel strangley obssesed by her.

    Arreghhhh….

    I need to vent. To ket off steam. I can’t walk away from my job.

    I am stuck with her. She is making me feel miserable.

    How do I feel??

    Twisted. Angry. Annoyed. Drained. Challenged.

    Tightness in my chest. The back of my neck feels stiff. My liwer back is tense. Across my middle back is stretched.

    My mouth is dry. My stomach aches. My shoulders are tight. My legs are twitching…
    I’m holdkng my breath…



  222.  #222Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    This is why I won’t have a job again – it’s another form of special relationship. We can surely practice our skills at work, and I did while I still had a job, and even then I was putting up with all kinds of stuff that felt awful. This is what I mean by letting go of co-dependency in every form. I will not put myself in a situation like that again where I gave my power away.

    So some may wonder why I talk about money here – I see money as a symbol of flow just like love or healing. I had a payment hung up for two weeks that came through just now. I was feeling very frustrated about it. That means when I had this shift around the special relationship, $7000 came in over the course of just two days. I see that as a pretty huge confirmation of this shift in direction…

    Okay off to acupuncture for me …



  223.  #223Miss Bells on August 13, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    I have been traveling, doing research for my upcoming book on real LOCAL food in the USA. That means being away much more than usual. But it seems to be having a good effect on my relationship. I spent most of last week in Seattle, but flew in on Saturday to go to a couple of parties with HS. Then, in 11 days we are going to Denver to stay with his old friends for a week. He always went by himself before. This is the first time we fly anywhere together…
    When I am in town I am very warm-when I am gone I am too into the work to be distracted.



  224.  #224Too Much on August 13, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Wow, i do not have to be strong

    I do not have to pretend I don’t care

    I can have my own opinion

    I can love myself and be there for myself

    I deserve support and love

    If people are horrible to me I do not have to be nice to them back

    I don’t owe them anything

    If they don’t respect me I don’t have to respect them

    How do I deal with horrible people

    Why do I let them walk over me?

    Why can’t I stand up for myself???



  225.  #225CarlaLeigh on August 13, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you to all who left lovely comments about my poem. I felt very empowered and moved when I wrote it and it literally came to me as I sat at work. As I began to write, it just poured out of me…
    I hope that some found strength, empowerment and clarity as you read it.
    I encourage you all to write your own “Siren Song” and post it in your space, room, office or perhaps just in our phone (mine is on my wall at work). Read it daily and most of all, know that YOU ARE A SIREN!
    Light & Love,
    Carla



  226.  #226Wildgeranium on August 13, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    190.

    Love this Beloved.

    “Its not all about me” has been the theme of the past 7 months for me.

    Its been an eye opener to say the least.

    XO



  227.  #227Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    The anger in my heart has now shifted to anger with myself for buying into this for years that something was wrong with me, and with other people like me, rather than seeing a system that doesn’t work. The anger is dancing like in a ring of fire around my heart.

    When I tapped on these issues a few weeks ago, the book kept “randomly” opening to the page that says “Waste no more time on this. Who can resolve the senseless conflicts which a dream presents? What could the resolution mean in truth? What purpose could it serve? What is it for? Salvation cannot make illusions real, nor solve a problem that does not exist.”

    I feel pissed off about how much time I have wasted on this …

    Part of me said “it’s time to write a book about what you’ve learned – the end of co-dependency.” And then I felt exhausted just thinking about writing a book.



  228.  #228BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    More stuff surfacing….
    I threw out the anger and played the “ending” it card because it was the only weapon I had.
    I was feeling more and more powerless, more and more overwhelmed by my feelings, it was reminding SO much of my childhood pattern
    I was feeling so out of control and it was a totally lame attempt at regaining control.
    As if I actually had any.
    So lame.
    And he went off and had a wonderful time, I’m sure while I spent the weekend recovering from my hissy fit.
    Yay me.
    😛
    I don’t even know what the big deal was anymore. It all seemed so urgent and earth-shattering.
    Maybe I just needed to get my own attention.

    But I mean…this isn’t how ‘friends’ are with each other is it? They don’t just say things like they would have to be insane to let me get close and just set them up to get hurt again in the middle of feeling very very close and after months and months of feeling close?
    I mean…this isn’t the way love is supposed to be, is it? It would be one thing if we were committed partners, which is one thing I think has been confusing, because he would say things like, ‘I’m just a committed person’ but never talk about commitment to me or our friendship or a relationship.

    I wonder if I was just caught up in another imaginary relationship and stuff started coming up once it started to get a little too “real” again, with talk of me visiting and wanting to make explicit agreements around sex.

    Yeah, I thought it was real. It felt real.
    And…???
    idk

    I am really really enjoying reading Louise Hay stuff and doing EFT with the affirmations. Lots and lots of thoughts that seemed so …inaccessible before. Now they feel possible.
    Gonna go back to that..



  229.  #229Lisa on August 13, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    “Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain.. Eckhart Tolle

    I love this saying… it feels so true for me…

    and I love when the pain parts and I find that joy and love underneath is… bliss!

    OXOXO



  230.  #230Lisa on August 13, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    @ Indigo

    I’m not sure which post you were referring to….

    but Yes! I agree with : ” I can’t help but agree.
    And the trouble is when you commiserate with people, it lets off just enough steam to enable you to keep going back to the same situation without ever doing anything about it.

    I feel as if positivity and empowerment interrupts that negative feedback loop.”

    Sometimes for me ( if I’m understanding you correctly) shutting down negative thoughts/ feelings and filling them in with positive… you lose the opportunity to find out something really amazing that your negative voices are trying to tell you….

    In my experience there is not negative voices.. ( I use the term lightly here for communication) but really everything has positive and negative.. and if “I” listen to my negative self… I will find some really juicy info ( splinters) that give me an opportunity to see more clearly and stop the situation and not need to go back to it…

    I love my negative voices b/c I get the most personal growth from them… they are only trying to help me…

    thanks for posting this Indigo!!

    OXOXO



  231.  #231Lisa on August 13, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    Just went out on my first date since “M” and this is a new “M” I’ll call him “M2”

    Different energy…. “M” was more closed off and protective of himself… reserved… “M2” is warm and open and not reserved…

    “L” called today.. I love his voice.. I love the intellectual convo’s we have… I love his bluntness.. and non pretentiousness… we haven’t met in person yet… so I know what Rori says it is a fictional relationship until they are right in front of me… but he did tell me, that he is a 21 century man and would like it, if I called him sometimes… and he doesn’t need to Chase a woman, to be interested in her… that is very interesting… Sounds like a Secure man… I like that… he is open to reciprocation that way… We’ll see… not sure how to respond to that… he did say, please don’t lump me in with all the other men that have to “chase” women. I don’t like being generalized like that… I said I hear you, I understand. I don’t like being generalized with other women either…

    Interesting convo….

    OXOXO



  232.  #232Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    “Sometimes for me ( if I’m understanding you correctly) shutting down negative thoughts/ feelings and filling them in with positive… you lose the opportunity to find out something really amazing that your negative voices are trying to tell you….”

    Lisa, I am totally with you on this … most of my problems have come from trying to cover up or silence my negative voices instead of really listening to them … or try to shift to positive when it’s not really authentic … and in the dark emotions I find the places where my belief system needs to shift … that’s why I don’t try to control my anger anymore, just let it be there and say what it needs to say …



  233.  #233Zia on August 13, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Still feeling the love today 🙂

    Love having enough for myself and to share with the world! Giving from my saucer instead of my cup.

    xxxx



  234.  #234BeLoved on August 13, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    “Sometimes for me ( if I’m understanding you correctly) shutting down negative thoughts/ feelings and filling them in with positive… you lose the opportunity to find out something really amazing that your negative voices are trying to tell you….”

    I can relate to this…this is why I use EFT with positive affirmations, and when I write affirmations, I write the negative responses in a column on the right. With EFT, all of the energy is just moving so it doesn’t really matter what comes up, it’s all allowed and the stuff that gets stirred up is released. With writing, I can see in writing beliefs that I have that conflict with feeling good about myself…essentially see in writing inner conflicts and polarities. So I practice saying “thank you” and just keep going.

    ~~~~

    and…wow…more crying and sadness, just realizing, I got so played.
    So played.
    Again.

    My mind keeps coming back to…”okay, God, I trust you, YOU fill this hole, YOU fill this up, YOU show me the way because what I’ve been doing for my ego obviously isn’t working.”

    It does feel good though…like I have a sweet little secret of some kind, that my heart STILL feels open.
    I trusted, I opened my heart, my heart feels as if it has been shredded, torn, burned, exploded, bombed, all kinds of stuff…and
    still..
    it is open and I STILL somehow feel trusting!
    I still feel love!
    I can still sashay down the hall and dance to my bedroom.
    little tiny yum yum yummy
    I feel like it’s gonna be ooookay.
    Like…I finally, at long last, really really ended it with T and the world didn’t end.
    I feel like I can do ANYTHING now, lol.
    It’s okay not to want to be friends.
    I really did not want to hear yet another round of how this girl doesn’t get bent over something I used to or does something exactly like me but he’s experiencing it as brand new and like it’s never happened before
    and seeing the same patterns he ran with me, and with the women he dated after me.
    How he could stand hearing my stuff, I don’t know.
    He believes it’s his purpose, what he was put on the planet to do, is to coach women in distress, and he loves it only it trained me somehow to be in more distress because that was the sure way to get his attention.

    *shakes head*
    Thank you, Beloved, for HOWEVER this is over, it doesn’t matter how, thank you thank you for putting a stop to the insanity.
    Thank you for trusting yourself.

    (((Beloved)))
    xoxoxoxoxoxo to me



  235.  #235Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    Love always
    you sound amazing.
    the ocean is always a healing source for me too…

    Sirens I have a question for you… Some may recall exoticCD from a while back. We went on a few dates but he then drifted away as I sank more and more into my girl energy…
    Well we’ve been in contact again and out of the blue spontaneously he took me to dinner. It was nice and casual and I do like him, he seems like someone I could get to know more…we have some things in common and he is a good listener.
    However……
    To make a long story short, he is not into eating pu$$y.
    This is a huge issue for me as I do feel turned on by or@l s&x very much …. It gets me in the mood and inspires me to return the favor. But he’s not into it. At all.
    But he wants me to give him or@l s&x. I’m not feeling inspired at all.
    Not sure what to mke of it. Otherwise I’m attracted to him and like kissing him etc. but this is a huge turnoff.

    Had any siren encountered this? What’s the deal? Dominique? Mercedes? Daria? Rori ??



  236.  #236Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    I’m feeling really confused lol…never experienced this before!



  237.  #237Lisa on August 13, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    @Erika EXACTLY!
    anger is so beautiful! to me… let it go! have it’s life… feel it fully! breathe it… and then ask it what it needs to say… YES! It just wants to be heard!

    @ Beloved yes! I know! I’ve done EFT… <3

    Desperation was a topic of today on FB… and also feel that way about it too… so many times in today's society we have taught ourselves to accept apathy over desperation… which is sad… desperation is frowned on… shunned… and apathy is ok ( more acceptable behavior)
    … I don't agree.. I think compassion needs to happen when someone is desperate instead of being angry with them… everyone has been desperate sometime in their life…. desperation can also have some really important things to teach us as well… In my experience… and when you touch the heart of a desperate person you can see that life light shine… it can be beautiful! To watch their face light up… it brings tears to my eyes remembering it…

    OXOXO



  238.  #238Femininewoman on August 13, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    Emerson I believe he is just saying that because he is more interested in his pleasure and wanting sex as a sport. I would take it as him saying he is not ready to invest. If he was, his priority would be making you happy.



  239.  #239Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    April rose I feel soft and warm towards you reading your reply to me it feels sincere and welcoming. Thank you



  240.  #240Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    230 thanks and hello FW!!! 🙂
    … Yep it feels that way indeed..which is in turn what feels like a turnoff …
    Recycledcd LOVES to do it to me and will literally beg me to eat it hahaha it’s such a turn on…
    But there are other issues with him…



  241.  #241Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    ExoticCD said he doesn’t care for it unless he’s drunk.
    Pfffft I’m literally shocked because he seems so “sexual ” otherwise…



  242.  #242Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    229 wow Lisa reading your words feels great



  243.  #243Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 7:40 pm

    Blech I’m tired of dating but also amused and feeling confident that I can rely on myself. I always come thru for me !!!



  244.  #244Millie on August 13, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    I am proud to say that finally “Doing nothing” feels really good to me!!!! YAY!!!!! It really is the best answer!! At first I struggled, fighting my urges a lot….I did notice when I tried to “fix” something because I felt uncomfortable. Then I stopped and let the uncomfortable-ness wash over me. I really like being in front of a man and feeling my feelings and not doing anything, sometimes not even saying anything. It feels good not to run away from him or from myself.
    Now, when I notice I haven’t heard from someone, or feel like sharing something, I feel better just not doing anything….So GREAT!



  245.  #245Vi on August 13, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    I feel like giving the No Girlfriend speech to my own husband…. I feel sad. Life with him doesn’t seem less frightening and frustrating than being on my own anymore…. I feel tired of trying to ‘work things out’…
    part of this tiredness also comes from this internal makeover happening in me now.. attuning my habits to Rori’s 4 Rules…. it will be okay.. and it IS okay. I love me.



  246.  #246Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Wow Vi, I love that honesty and it so resonates with where I’m at right now … I feel happier on my own … I feel happier single …

    I am really feeling into this Bali trip now … I’m not even there yet, and it feels restorative already … it’s the bodywork that is most calling to me. Two-hour treatments seem to be standard there. Seems it’s going to be less active than Costa Rica and even more about being and receiving.



  247.  #247Tereana on August 13, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    What a beautiful siren poem!

    Millie – I am super happy to hear you are feeling better. I read your earlier post and you sounded so depressed! Usually, when I’m getting my period, I have a sudden urge to eat red meat. It replenishes my iron and magnesium levels and I feel SO much better afterward. If you’re vegetarian, dark leafy greens would be good, too.

    But I’m glad it turned around! Hormones can definitely affect our feelings a lot, just like Dominique said…



  248.  #248R on August 13, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Hello Royi,

    A pattern I have had in the past, is I have several men interested in me, and it is so much attention that it is challenging for me to handle it. It use to be easier to run into people, and I would attract cool people once I was with someone or when was not looking. My dating life has been kind of slow this past year. I have since about April, registered with an online dating website, I have been on a few dates. My question for you is, I feel that the attention is about to increase, I can feel it, and I am pretty laid back? Do you have any suggestions of the proper way to let down someone you are dating, because you are more compatible with someone else? Also, is it proper to inform someone you are dating other people, and what is the proper way to talk about this?



  249.  #249Indigo on August 13, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Hi Lisa

    I was meaning post 206 where you were talking to Mercedes.

    Oh I agree with you completely re: negative voices and emotions. They are beautiful.

    I was meaning more when someone is stuck in the same cycle (this lady at work has been in this situation for over a year) where the negative thoughts and feelings and words keep churning and keep repeating the same bad-feeling cycle, day after day. This means the person is not really listening to them and shifting them by looking for the message and the better feeling.

    That’s what I was meaning!

    xxx <3



  250.  #250Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    I’m feeling this right now:

    We ask for rest today, and quietness unshaken by the world’s appearances. We ask for peace and stillness, in the midst of all the turmoil born of clashing dreams. We ask for safety and for happiness, although we seem to look on danger and on sorrow. And we have the thought that will answer our asking with what we request.

    “I rest in God.” This thought will bring to you the rest and quiet, peace and stillness, and the safety and the happiness you seek. “I rest in God.” This thought has power to wake the sleeping truth in you, whose vision sees beyond appearances to that same truth in everyone and everything there is. Here is the end of suffering for all the world, and everyone who ever came and yet will come to linger for a while. Here is the thought in which the Son of God is born again, to recognize himself.

    “I rest in God.” Completely undismayed, this thought will carry you through storms and strife, past misery and pain, past loss and death, and onward to the certainty of God. There is no suffering it cannot heal. There is no problem that it cannot solve. And no appearance but will turn to truth before the eyes of you who rest in God.



  251.  #251Veronica on August 13, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    I’ve got to separate my progress from what is happening with any man.

    And stuff’s coming up…

    I’m feeling really nervous about men coming towards me.

    I feel that old thing of ‘don’t hurt someone’s feelings, if they’ve developed feelings for you, and you don’t feel the same way’ – that feels manipulative in so many ways. It exists in my mind beyond just a call to recognize the vulnerability of someone – but I’m not mean like that and so there’s no reason for that request to stand. Now that I think of it I feel disgusted. I don’t discuss the possibility of a real relationship if I have no intention on my part of even feeling romantic about someone – i.e. I am not intentionally deceptive. And I see how I have to ‘explain’ myself here even though it’s not necessary. But this brings up such disgust in me – it reminds me of men who think that just because they like you that everything should just automatically happen. And the displeasure they have when I didn’t play along. I’m a whole other person, separate from you — very scary that I even have to insist on this. Ew ew ew ew ew!!!!! It’s such a perversion of the ‘man leading’.

    I feel very suspicious now of any energy required of me in which I have to lean forward in an icky way. I feel afraid.

    Rori, I’m keeping your post on Circular Dating ‘If You’re Done Being A Single Woman…’ very close.



  252.  #252Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    224 Erika A and Lisa
    I am learning so much by reading your viewpoint and experiences… Yes anger can be purposeful and also sadness…
    It’s when I’ve reached that point that I’ve also learned valuable things about myself…



  253.  #253Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    ((Vi))



  254.  #254Emerson on August 13, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    I feel thankful



  255.  #255Vi on August 13, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    Erika thank you for sharing!

    It feels so good to read about your trip to Bali ! The post actually helped me to reconnect with my guilt around receiving and just being. And also with rage towards my beliefs about receiving that were imposed on me when I was a kid… and which for a long time made receiving and self-care something that I can only admire from a distance… but can not have to myself.. It feels so good to piece my true self back together….



  256.  #256Vi on August 13, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    Emerson thank you for hugs!



  257.  #257Erika Awakening on August 13, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    Hi Emerson, I’m glad it’s helpful – thanks for letting me know 🙂

    Hi Vi, yea for me it’s been a long journey from “overachiever” to resting and being. Now I’m in another transition and it’s a little scary. My life had already moved to lots of empty space and being. Recently, though, I notice resistance to doing almost anything at all in my business. My inner self is absolutely refusing to do much work on my websites, or much selling, or writing, or anything. So the question is how am I going to thrive financially … and the Bali trip I want to do right, not “pinching pennies” so it’s going to be quite an outlay of cash … This is really a time of faith for me. How am I going to do the only things I really want to do right now, which are resting, receiving bodywork, yin yoga, lots of quiet time, and still thrive financially? we’ll see …

    I got another sign tonight. I have a set of sheets that got stained. They were relatively new and I didn’t really want to throw them away. I’ve been working on the stains for weeks. At first almost no progress at all – I just kept putting the enzyme on several times each day. Tonight it looks like the stains are almost completely gone. Stains are symbols of past hurts that we have not forgiven – like scars. So … another sign…



  258.  #258Millie on August 13, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    @239 Tereana

    Thank you for your kind words! Yes I am happy to be feeling better as well!!! I didn’t realize diet and hormones went hand in hand so much! I def need to spend more time taking care of myself in that department and making sure my body gets the balance that it needs, especially at that time of the month. 🙂



  259.  #259Millie on August 13, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    @242 Veronica

    I agree with you, I hate the feeling of men expecting something from you just because of how they feel…It feels like taking and also like how I felt was never considered as part of the attraction/connection. Ewl indeed.

    Can you post a link or let me know where that post is? I don’t think I’ve read it….



  260.  #260Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 12:40 am

    Millie – 250 – You make a very good point about not even feeling/being considered as part of the connection or attraction. I had thought that these were ‘transactional’ attitudes to relationships/connections/interactions – ‘I do this, and then you will do this’. But I don’t even think it is that – transaction implies both parties are aware and agree. In the situation I was describing earlier, there is no agreement whatsoever and sometimes not even awareness. I really have horrid feelings about this. Just to clarify, I don’t like transactional relationships/connections – I consider them low forms of interactions. I found a new low today : (

    The post can be found at: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/done-being-single/



  261.  #261Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 12:44 am

    Millie – I’ve posted a reply, but it doesn’t seem to be loading, although wordpress assures that I keep trying to post a duplicate entry.

    I’ll try to post again later. For now here is the link:
    https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/done-being-single/



  262.  #262Lisa on August 14, 2013 at 5:31 am

    @Indigo Yes so true. People do get stuck in it….

    <3



  263.  #263Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 5:35 am

    Emerson – 227 – I think the real question is for you if this is a deal breaker. Sounds selfish to me. He wants yet won’t give.

    One way to go if he asks for it, you would tell him exactly what you said here – I don’t feel inspired.

    Another way to go if you haven’t already is suggesting it like so – I LOVE oral sex. It feels SO good. I would love to share this with you. What do you think?

    xxoo



  264.  #264Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 5:37 am

    Millie – 236 – LOVE this!!!

    xxoo



  265.  #265BeLoved on August 14, 2013 at 5:46 am

    I feel softer this morning.
    I wish I had been able to feel compassion instead of freezing in the moment.
    I wish I could have said something different.
    Maybe, Hey, I feel scared to get hurt again, too. I’m feeling vulnerable and connected with you right now and do you hear yourself? Are you listening to how you are speaking to me right now, when I’m feeling so vulnerable and open?
    or

    something…I don’t know…
    and maybe
    this is the healing, this is what I need to forgive in myself – forgive myself for feeling stuck and shocked and frozen and unable to respond in a more resourceful way, maybe that’s what I’ve been really feeling angry about…



  266.  #266BeLoved on August 14, 2013 at 6:14 am

    Erika – interesting that you would mention him being stuck in an old paradigm –
    I’m feeling the need to look to my own “stuckness”, being “stuck in the stuckness” and offer some compassion and forgiveness.
    That feels like the message from T.

    I almost feel like I want to vomit, like I threw away something valuable. Stupid.
    I amd willing to love and forgive my stupidity.
    I am willing to love and forgive my stuckness.
    I am willing to forgive myself.
    I feel like…if I let go and forgive, stuff will take care of itself. I don’t have to fix this with T, or anyone, I will naturally shift my vibe and things will take care of themselves.

    “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe.”

    And so it is.



  267.  #267Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 6:22 am

    Millie – 250 – You make a very good point about not even feeling/being considered as part of the connection or attraction.
    I had thought that these were ‘transactional’ attitudes to relationships/connections/interactions – ‘I do this, and then you will do this’. But I don’t even think it is that – transaction implies both parties are aware and agree. In the situation I was describing earlier, there is no agreement whatsoever and sometimes not even awareness. I really have horrid feelings about this. Just to clarify, I don’t like transactional relationships/connections. I found a new low today : (

    The post can be found at: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/done-being-single/



  268.  #268Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 6:24 am

    My posts are just not getting through : ( Sorry Millie – I’ve been trying to post the link a number of times



  269.  #269Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 6:26 am

    Millie – 250 – I’m going to try again. I keep getting messages that I’m sending duplicate posts but none of my earlier posts are showing up.

    You make a very good point about not even feeling/being considered as part of the connection or attraction.

    I had thought that these were ‘transactional’ attitudes to relationships/connections/interactions – ‘I do this, and then you will do this’. But I don’t even think it is that – transaction implies both parties are aware and agree. In the situation I was describing earlier, there is no agreement whatsoever and sometimes not even awareness. I really have horrid feelings about this. Just to clarify, I don’t like transactional relationships/connections. I found a new low today : (

    The post can be found at: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/dating/done-being-single/



  270.  #270Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 6:28 am


  271.  #271Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 6:31 am

    Millie – Here is the post below

    Have The Relationship You Want
    Marriage & Relationship Advice From Rori Raye
    If You’re Done Being A Single Woman – Try This…

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed and frustrated – especially with all the help and options you find online and just in the sheer numbers of single men everywhere… if you’re frustrated with the process of dating, the hopes you have for your romantic future that you hope dating will lead you to…if your “dating equation” is dating = dread, disappointment and despair – where one minute you’re up and the other you’re very, very down – I know how you feel, and there’s a way out of it.

    There’s a way that dating can be – yes – FUN. Fun, and full of desire and excitement. Way more up than down.

    I’m married now, and brilliantly so, and for a very long time – but it wasn’t always like that. I was there in the pit of despair for more years than I care to remember, crawling out for dates and crawling back home, and I don’t want you or any of my clients to be there.

    The technique I discovered that stopped all that pain and frustration, that led my husband to me and made me able to have the dream relationship and marriage I have is so simple, and yet so far away from what anyone was doing then and what anyone is doing now…I had to put it into a form I could teach. That form is a Tool I call “Circular Dating.” It’s the cure for everything negative about dating, and fastest way to get your Mr. Right.
    The way Circular Dating works, and what makes it work so fast, is that it’s about getting you your Mr. Right – and in the fastest, easiest, most fun way possible – but without focusing on getting you your Mr. Right.

    How can that be? You get what you want but that’s not what you’re going for? Yep. Here’s how Circular Dating works:

    1. Opportunity:

    Every single minute of every day where you’re out in the world or at an online dating site or on Facebook, or social networking, or looking at clubs and meetings and activities and classes in your neighborhood – you have an opportunity to get closer to your Mr. Right.

    Yeah – there’s the part about – you may actually meet him that way. You might actually connect with Mr. Right online or through a Facebook friend or at a class or lecture – or even a bar – but that’s not the “opportunity” I’m talking about here.

    Circular Dating says that if you use every opportunity with every man everywhere (even for brief seconds in the market or the dry cleaners) to get yourself better prepared for Mr. Right – Mr. Right will simply show up. Circular Dating says that if you interact with every single man who shows up – if you talk to them, sit down with them, meet them, walk with them, date them (yes – all at the same time, no falling into the “girlfriend” trap allowed here), sometimes even sleep with them (the rules for this are very customized), your Mr. Right will show up – and he won’t have any nonsense about him.

    The nuts and bolts of Circular Dating is time management, managing what you do and say, and managing your emotions, too. Juggling men and opportunity is a new game here – it has shortcuts, rules for you to make for yourself, and short term and long-term goals to set for yourself.

    Done right, Circular Dating gives you all the advantages of being pro-active for yourself, with none of the fallout of accidentally pushing good men away with what I call Forward Leaning, masculine “chasing” behavior. Because in Circular Dating, the goals have nothing to do with the “man.”

    So…here’s what you Practice:

    2. Receiving Love:

    This is about learning how to love. Because love, and inspiring a man to fall in love with you forever is all about you being able to RECEIVE love.

    Most of us only know how to GIVE. We give for lots of reasons – because we’re taught that’s the way to get to a man’s heart (it isn’t) and because we saw our mothers do it, and because we think it’s the way to be a “good woman” (we get “giving” all confused with “kindness”) – and because we’re SCARED to GET love.

    We think it should be natural for us to want to be loved. We think it’s easy to receive love – because we dream about it and fantasize about it so much – but the truth is – if we weren’t instinctively RUNNING from love, we’d have it already! Even in a long, tortured, hot-and-then-cold relationship – if we find ourselves still THERE – then we’re running from love.

    There’s a reason for all those Mr. Wrongs.

    There’s a reason for all the time you spent with a man and read him wrong (where he seemed too good to be true and then he was). There’s a reason you thought you’d end up at the altar and you ended up in the pit of broken hearts. There’s a reason all the men who show up for you seem the same. The same level of maturity, the same level of commitment-phobia, the same level of masculinity.

    3. Instant Connecting

    To get out of singleness, and connect with your Mr. Right, you have to be able to connect. And connecting is a skill set! We’re so often now afraid of being hurt, afraid of being rejected, afraid of being intimate, afraid of being SEEN. We’re afraid of being ourselves, because we’re so required to be “a product” in social networking and online dating profiles. It’s this fear that closes down our hearts, makes us get cold when a man comes near, and keeps us from connecting.

    Connecting is about Emotion. And we women have all been sold a lie that men don’t like emotion. That they’re “afraid” of emotions. Well, men can’t stand “drama” (and that’s what they mean by “being emotional”) but they fall to their knees in adoration for a woman who can Feel.

    Connecting means taking your walls down. Being who you are and loving who you are. Feeling your feelings and sharing what you feel in words a man can hear – simple words that feel real to you and real to him. The incredible thing that happens when you learn to do this is that you become magnetic. You become irresistibly attractive. You make a man feel excited and safe – all at the same time. When this happens – you connect straight to a man’s heart – instantly.

    And how do you do this?

    Take a look at how you’re NOT doing this, right now.

    When you go to the coffee shop, do you look at the floor, at a book, at your coffee cup? Or are you spinning around in your head, thinking about things? Well – no one can connect to you like that. There’s no invitation there.

    Or, are you so on the lookout for a good man that you’re on your tippy toes, looking around, starting conversations, chatting – trying to drum up Mr. Right? Well – no one can connect to you like that. Everyone’s as afraid of being steam-rollered or clung to as you are.

    When you’re on a “date” with a man, or just having a conversation – are you talking about business, or what you “think” about things, or giving him information? Or are you sharing your feelings and experiences of the day in an emotional, juicy way? Are you in your head, or in your heart?

    4. Free Therapy

    Circular Dating helps you keep the focus off of any particular man by keeping your focus on YOU. If you focus on healing your old wounds and undoing your old useless patterns, and learning new, more intimate ways to talk and be with a man (this has nothing to do with sex) – you can cure neediness, desperation, fear, depression and the closed down opposite – the “I don’t care’s.”

    Instead of thinking of dating as the “path to Mr. Right” – you think of dating as “Free Therapy.”

    How can this be? How can a clueless or unavailable or over-eager or even unattractive man be your therapist? And for free?

    Well – this way: You don’t pay for anything on dates, so it’s free. And therapy is, in my work, healing yourself in the presence of someone else. So with Circular Dating – you get to heal yourself in the presence of every man you encounter – even if it’s only for a brief second.

    You might have gone out with a man who was like a stone, but you connected with the waiter. You might have gone out with a man who adored you but made you want to run because he never stopped talking about himself or making sexual remarks – and you practiced being yourself and speaking the truth with him and shared exactly how that made you feel – and so you walked out of that date feeling powerful and more who you really are. Success! You’ll stop judging how an evening went by checking off one more gruesome date, and start appreciating how an evening went by checking off how your practicing went, and if there was anything to learn from the experience.

    5. Surprise

    Being surprised means you give up control. You give up trying to make things “happen” in the moment – while staying focused on your long-term goal – a magnificent, committed relationship or marriage. You give up trying to have a wonderful evening, give up trying to get the man in front of you or the man who hasn’t yet called to DO anything. While you stay proactive in your love life by creating and taking opportunity, you are NOT proactive about any specific or particular man. You get out of your own way by not focusing on loving any one man – and instead focus on loving yourself.

    Being surprised means each moment is new. You’re starting over. Everything’s fresh, washed clean every single moment. It’s not knowing – and when you practice enough – not CARING what’s going to happen. It’s about being curious instead of obsessed. Interested instead of focused. It’s about holding your happiness above all other accomplishments, and trusting yourself to choose in every moment whether or not you want to be there.

    With enough practice – the willingness to be surprised is so pleasurable…you’ll actually FEEL the romance come into your life.

    Here’s the Basic Drill for Practicing Circular Dating (the Hows of it, all the nuts and bolts, every baby step, is in my Targeting Mr. Right program):

    1. Love yourself hard (hug yourself often and never beat yourself up for mistakes)
    2. Set it up so you’re in the middle of opportunity – online and where you go and what you do
    2. Once you’re in the middle of opportunity – practice just being – instead of doing
    3. Smile at everyone you see if you’re feeling good – and if you’re not feeling good – work on THAT
    4. Talk with every man who talks to you first.
    5. Go out with every man who asks you unless he frightens you.
    6. Get curious – about the world and everyone in it and everyone you see and talk to
    7. Listen
    8. Feel
    9. Express instead of Impress (forget all about what anyone else thinks – you just love YOU)
    10. Speak the Truth
    11. Speak only about yourself. No gossip, no analyzing him or anyone else, no judging. Just YOU.
    12. Be Surprised

    Try these and see how it can change your love life practically overnight.

    Love, Rori



  272.  #272BeLoved on August 14, 2013 at 6:45 am

    “he won’t have any nonsense about him.”

    Love this. It made me feel all lit up and giggly 🙂

    All of this processing…
    trauma response.
    Squirrely trauma brain 🙂

    I don’t know how I let this go and let it heal, I only know I do now.

    CDing is so good because it’s like sports.
    You know, if you fall of the horse, get right back on.
    If you get hit with a baseball, walk it off.
    Just gotta keep moving and moving and going so as not to get stuck in that moment.

    Shake it shake it shake it like a Polaroid pitcha… 🙂



  273.  #273Hana on August 14, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Hi Cris, how are you? I do feel better, more productive now that I’m working again, it is giving me a confidence I was lacking and less time to be in trouble haha, but I’ve got a goal- to be completely independant single mother, I want to take care of them without my family’s help.

    Flamenco is great, I meant do u dance in general?

    I love Salsa! I danced last night, but I feel like because of my ex I can’t go to the same routine spots anymore. Need to change things up even more!



  274.  #274Cris on August 14, 2013 at 9:17 am

    Hi Hana!! No, I’m afraid I don’t dance on a regular basis I mean going to classes and so on…. I should do more exercise! all my best wishes in your way to financial independence. Emitional independence is a much more difficult goal I think… and yes, it’s a good thing to change what is associated to your ex! I did the same with one ex (he left me 3 months before our wedding). Doing new things and meeting new people give a lot of energy..

    🙂



  275.  #275BeLoved on August 14, 2013 at 9:29 am

    I feel so grateful for my job where I have so much slack to take space for myself when I need it.

    Oh dear goodness…tapping on so many memories…
    all of this old stuff coming up…
    I choose to neutralize these memories.
    I accept my experiences and I set them free.
    I forgive myself for believing I deserved to be punished.
    I forgive myself for believing I didn’t deserve to be human.
    I forgive myself for believing I was subhuman
    I forgive myself for believing the things my parents said about me
    I forgive myself for believing I was weak to run from abuse
    I forgive myself for believing I was wrong to leave a painful situation
    I forgive myself for letting myself be manipulated into an abusive situation over and over and over again.
    I forgive myself for believing everything was my fault.
    I forgive myself for loving my abusers.
    I forgive myself for abusing and punishing myself.
    I forgive myself for giving to get.
    I forgive myself for needing love and security.
    I forgive myself for needing ANYTHING.
    I forgive myself for whoring myself out to get my needs met.
    I love, love, love and forgive myself.



  276.  #276Lisa on August 14, 2013 at 9:39 am

    I feel weird…

    I feel funny I keep forgetting I have a date tonight… what does that mean?

    I feel almost like I’d soon stay home…

    some sadness coming up around “M”…

    I’m content the way I am and my life… I’m feeling the need to get caught up with things around here… I was this way before I met “M”…

    Not sure what that means…. It’s like I don’t want to muddle through the No go’s anymore… I wish God would send me a keeper…

    I’ve done soooo much dating… ugg… I’d like to have one that will stick show up…

    make it worth my while to set time aside from my life….

    I know every man has a gift… but I’m also so tired of being told how adorable I am – do you want to fly to the carribbean …… Ok you don’t even know me…. and you want to take me to the carribbean….?

    Just venting…

    OXOXO



  277.  #277Cris on August 14, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Beloved, I am impressed by the things that you think about yourself..
    I am sorry I don’t know your background as I am very new in the blog but what you say makes me feel sad..
    I read a quote once that said we should treat ourselves as good friends of us

    peace to you



  278.  #278Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 10:00 am

    I also feel that anxious urging to ‘hurry or you’ll miss your chance or the exchange/banter will lose its rhythm and then it’ll just be boredom/nothing’. No. It’s me first and the rhythm or the chance will follow who I am and who he is. That is what is actually meant to be happening. We can slow down, we can hurry up, we can be out of sync., we are to see if we can be the fullness of ourselves to each other over time. And most of all we are creative in this, we can make and end and continue and change what goes on between us, not always willingly or even consciously.

    Just tentative rambling here, sorry if it doesn’t make sense



  279.  #279Lisa on August 14, 2013 at 10:20 am

    I read the long post about circle dating…

    and thought that sound so easy for younger, single women… it sounds exhausting to me…

    I’m already overwhelmed….

    I do it already what is in that post… but it isn’t getting fun… really…

    I listen to every man with my full attention… I interact with them as i would anyone else… and as if each one of them have potential…

    it still gets exhausting….

    I’m tired…

    I want to be settled down with a man and relax and focus on other things in my life… b/c this dating thing… takes up so much energy…

    I know it sounds like complaining… it just what I feel…

    I feel sad now…

    OXOXO



  280.  #280Indigo on August 14, 2013 at 10:24 am

    Too Much 214

    (((Too Much)))

    I recently went through being bullied by my boss who has an aggressive personality, and I just decided to call her on it. For me, it was very important to do it with kindness, and without getting defensive or blaming.

    I spoke in some feeling statements, and some statements about how I thought a work environment needed to be and what I needed in order to be productive. I used slightly firmer language around a couple of things I just thought were downright wrong.

    I stood by what I’d said too. One morning she came into my office and started talking aggressively, and after saying that the conversation felt bad, I walked out.

    The waters were muddied for a few weeks – I don’t think she knew what to make of me. But she *did* back off, and I have to say she talks to me quite gently and respectfully nowadays.



  281.  #281Femininewoman on August 14, 2013 at 10:38 am

    Dearest Audrey,

    Hi there! Sorry I’ve been a little M.I.A. for awhile, but I have had one jam-packed summer!

    You may have already heard about my big move down to San Diego (we are LOVING it down here), and as part of a program I did, I recently had 17 amazing women staying at my new house – what a blast!

    The event was followed by the first shooting of the television show I’m creating, which is all about bringing Holistic Living into the mainstream. The actual show concept is a secret, but I’ll be revealing more as we get closer. 😉

    Wow! I can’t believe it’s all happening! Here’s a picture from the filming below, which was taken by the oh so talented Heather Brand (HeatherBrand.com). Here are more photos from the TV shoot.

    To top things off, this week I was in Toronto with Laura Hollick, being featured in a movie that she’s creating along with 7 other New Paradigm Icons! I’ll post pics of that event for you to check out next week. 🙂

    More details to come. I hope you’re having a wonderful summer, too!

    In love & service,

    ~Rose

    P.S. – Got gmail? They’re setting up a new filtering system, so be sure to read this important post to find out how to fix the issue and avoid missing out on the exciting events that are unfolding and the important news I’m releasing soon!

    Daily Inspiration

    “Everything that you experience arises from your own vibration. You are always living a reflection of what you are radiating out into the Universe. ”

    ~Rose Cole



  282.  #282Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 10:42 am

    BeLoved, no pressure, you’re going to do what’s right for you. I do feel curious what would happen to all these feelings if you walked out of prison with me … What I’m finding is that all the self-doubt and second guessing myself only exist when I believe the special relationship is something worth having that I am messing up. Without that belief, I’ve actually succeeded in maintaining my freedom against all odds, and it’s a success not a failure.



  283.  #283Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 10:42 am

    Sirens I am having a good day. I am focusing on just enjoying NOW and being in the moment…



  284.  #284Hana on August 14, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Hi Feminine Woman. I have the rock star script memorized and practiced. I didn’t get a chance to use it, it is a relief, even being in the clubs we went to together is a strong trigger for me. Thank you for the advice, it was very useful and opened my eyes to a healthier approach and a better solution. I just need time to heal. A lot of time to heal actually.

    Hugs!



  285.  #285Femininewoman on August 14, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Try this:

    1. Prop your head back a bit and release your
    jaw so that it gapes open.

    2. There should be no tension at all in your
    neck, chest, shoulders or jaw.

    3. Take in a deep breath, and as you breathe
    out, vocalize.

    It will sound like an open-mouthed moan.

    4. As you vocalize, pay close attention to your
    jaw, neck, shoulders, back and chest.

    Most likely, they will tense up when you
    vocalize.

    5. Keep practicing until you can vocalize
    without tensing your muscles.

    These very specific relaxation tools are just
    the first step in the process of loosening up your
    voice and making it your hugest asset for
    attracting a man – and getting him to WANT to
    listen to you!

    Ginger Gardner



  286.  #286prplpsn28 on August 14, 2013 at 10:44 am

    I am sooo far behind with the blog. I’ve completely missed the last thread. Don’t know if I’ll have time to go back and read. Have been spending some awesome vacation/quality time with my kids. Now they are with their dad tho for a week so it’s kinda lonely but I know they will have a great time with him also. Things are going well with H so I can’t complain.



  287.  #287Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 10:46 am

    252 thanks Dominique!
    Thank you for the suggestions.
    I’m not sure if its gonna work with this guy for me because the part that turns me in is the fact that the guy is really into it …if he’s doing it so he can get his … Maybe it will feel contrived….
    He is selfish. He got himself a drink of water and did not offer me. I remained silent to see if he would ask and he did not.
    Little thing but it turned me off.



  288.  #288Femininewoman on August 14, 2013 at 10:50 am

    A man might also feel loved when he is acknowledged for not only his accomplishments and hard work but also for how happy he makes YOU feel. This maybe more than anything will make a man glow, feel deeper love for you, and feel safe with you, knowing he was able to contribute if not add to your happiness, that he helped to make you feel good no matter in what manner he presented it, eg. as your physical comfort, as in doing things for you, the small things as well as the big ones, as in sexually, as in giving you affection, as in anything which might make you smile.

    I think little else will get a man to feeling really great than his woman melting in his arms because she loves how he takes care of her, looks out for her, looks at her, touches her, makes love to her.

    Another wonderful benefit to showing and expressing thankfulness and appreciation for who your man is and what he does is not so much for him as it is for you. It helps YOU see for yourself how much he really does do for you, how many wonderful qualities he actually does have over those that may not always feel so great, how amazing your choice in him was after all.

    http://sexandheart.com/respect-is-how-a-man-feels-loved-true



  289.  #289Femininewoman on August 14, 2013 at 10:53 am

    Not a little thing at all Emerson. You want to know that a man can take care. I encourage you next time though to say something. I have a girlfriend who might have said “I wonder how your mother would feel if she knew you got yourself water and didn’t offer”.



  290.  #290Femininewoman on August 14, 2013 at 10:56 am

    Hana you want to be triggered. The more you are triggered is the more you heal. Why should you have to change your life and routine because of one man?



  291.  #291Femininewoman on August 14, 2013 at 10:57 am

    I am impervious to failure is a new belief I am building up.



  292.  #292BeLoved on August 14, 2013 at 11:49 am

    Erika – 268
    I laughed with sheer delight when I read this post.
    It totally answered a question I just asked while tapping a few minutes ago 🙂
    Yes…getting it…
    it’s coming clearer.
    I’m hearing you.



  293.  #293Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    BeLoved, I feel so happy hearing that 🙂

    I was just invited to be on Huffington Post Live again today. Hooray for me – another sign 🙂



  294.  #294Millie on August 14, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    Thank you Veronica!
    I love re-reading Rori’s posts, every time I read, I hear, see, feel, apply it in a different light. Always enlightening!

    You know what is strange??? When you associate certain feelings with “this feels good” and then you experience something that feels even better than what you thought was good…..and now my definition of what feels good to me is changing!



  295.  #295Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Emerson – 273 – This isn’t such a little thing. As an isolated incident, maybe, but this coupled with what you’ve already shared, big red flag.

    Maybe enjoy what you can from him for as long as you want to. You always have the choice here.

    xxoo



  296.  #296Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    I can think of few ways I’d rather spend my time and energy than sucking a man’s penis.

    For me, it’d be something like, “oh well that’s great because I don’t like giving oral sex either, and I’m sure you don’t believe in double standards, so now we can both be happy about this.”

    I feel nauseous reading these “how to please a man” articles. They remind me of how I feel reading about sales tactics. Sales is not difficult, and it does not require techniques or manipulation. All it requires is knowing our own value, standing firm for it, and negotiating win/win agreements. I don’t see myself doing other relationships any other way.



  297.  #297Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    excuse me – I can think of very few ways I’d rather NOT spend my time than doing that. It feels so tedious to me. And disconnecting as well.



  298.  #298Tereana on August 14, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Mm, I’m feeling so nice today…

    I was at work this afternoon, and thinking about how Rori’s techniques really work. They don’t work instantly or overnight, but they do work – over lots of instances and lots of overnights. Tiny, subtle shifts that add up, over time, to a new way of being and of thinking.

    I realize that I sound like an advertisement for Rori right now, but I swear she didn’t may me. Lol. I’ve just been noticing how different I feel, how much better my boundaries are, how much more relaxed, and able to relax I am. Not that I don’t loos my cool every now and then. I do. But I get it back much more quickly. And overall, I feel like I am making better decisions for myself. I trust myself more.

    This is all a really great feeling.

    And it’s not just about “the prize.” It’s all for the result, the “relationship.” It can’t be. Otherwise, that would be antithetical to the process. It’s about shifting how you feel, then observing what the result is, with curiosity. What is it? You don’t even know. Because your imagination is limited to what you’ve already experienced, and what you choose to make up.

    The real world, the real Universe, has so much more diversity and so many more things to show you.

    I feel…ahhh

    I feel a sense of purpose. Of belonging.

    I feel solid in the belief that I am in the right place at the right time.

    I believe everything is happening for me just as it should, and for my highest benefit.

    I believe I can be a positive partner in Creation, taking action steps, then seeing how my life unfolds.

    I believe this is a beautiful process.

    I feel grateful for all that I’ve learned and the progress I have made.

    I am in the path to finding and loving myself, and that comes before finding and loving and being with a partner.

    So I know I’m on the right path. You are, too.

    Thanks for being with me, ladies 🙂



  299.  #299Tereana on August 14, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    *Phone typo edits:

    “Pay me”

    “Lose my cool.”

    : )



  300.  #300Zia on August 14, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    282: personally, it’s one of my favourite things to do in the bedroom 🙂



  301.  #301Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    Cool, I respect that other women may not feel the way I feel. For a long time, I did it out of “reciprocation” – which really means obligation.

    Now though if I’m really honest, I never liked it. My jaw ached, it hurt my mouth, and it felt like hard work. I don’t recall ever feeling more connected to myself or a guy while doing it, and often it seemed like he was more into some sort of fantasy of it than into our connection. So I don’t envision doing it again.



  302.  #302Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    Erika – As a fyi, K does not like blow jobs for the same reason you cite for not liking giving them, there is a loss of connection. Kissing, licking, and so on playfully is fun for me thus it is for him too, so this I engage in often, yet only in play, not during actual love making.

    If there is one man like this, surely there are others.

    xxoo



  303.  #303Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    Dominique, thanks for sharing. My ex didn’t want me to do it, either, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we had such a strong emotional connection.



  304.  #304Zia on August 14, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    I’ve always had feedback during & felt connected when I’ve done it.. maybe because I enjoy it so much and tend to add an element of fun to it.. Regardless, it’s one of my biggest turn ons and the guys usually know that so I think that might be what makes it enjoyable for both of us 🙂



  305.  #305Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Zia – It’s different for everyone. I was going to add and then failed to do so, that many DO feel a strong connection while doing it, especially when eye contact can be made now and then. I think you are right that it’s because YOU enjoy doing it. It’s all about you after all anyway. If it makes you feel good, turns you on, then that’s what’s important.

    xxoo



  306.  #306Zia on August 14, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    291 Dominique – Absolutely! There are other areas where I feel a lot less confident which I’d really like to address… What I would love right now is a partner who I feel secure with in the bedroom to work on those other areas. Someone I feel safe enough with to speak up about where I feel less confident and help me work through that.



  307.  #307Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Zia – Feel free to ask me anything if you would like some help with this. Sex and sexuality was my first specialty. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing here, you may email me.

    xxoo



  308.  #308Zia on August 14, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Thank you so much! I would love that!!



  309.  #309Dominique on August 14, 2013 at 5:28 pm


  310.  #310Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    I am appreciating the little things in life..



  311.  #311Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    Thanks Dominique and FW for your feedback and other sirens too for chiming in….
    I find BJs difficult in a way due to the logistics …. My mouth is small lol but I still feel turned on when it happens naturally. If I don’t feel like doing it, I won’t. I like it with recycledCD because I know him so well, and he is a very clean person. That helps. And he turns me on. Always.

    It takes me a log time to feel like going there… I have to know the person well and be in some kind of relationship. But when guys pressure me for it, it’s such a turnoff. Big time.
    Thanks all for your comments, it helps alot.



  312.  #312Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    I’m feeling inspired to cook some really healthy foods and just take my time doing it. I always feel rushed and nervous when I cool. Maybe I’ll the something new…



  313.  #313Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Wow … I feel soooo passionate about this topic that we just addressed on Huffington Post Live. The contrast between me and the views of the other women was pretty spectacular …

    If any Sirens are curious to hear my rather radical views about the end of aging, tune in here. Fritz the Cat makes another awesome appearance as well, demonstrating the miracles that happen when we let go of our limiting beliefs:

    http://postfeminine.com/end-of-aging



  314.  #314Tereana on August 14, 2013 at 7:38 pm

    Indigo – yay to you for standing up to your boss! 🙂



  315.  #315Tereana on August 14, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Wow, there is a whole really interesting discussion about BJs going on right now 🙂 I think I’m going to observe and enjoy what other ladies have say. I love that there is such a wide variety of opinions and preferences here! : )



  316.  #316Tereana on August 14, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    And in my own life (different topic, not BJs ; ), right now I feel like walking away from CCB – or PKL, but I feel like going back to his old moniker.

    He didn’t really do anything wrong, I just feel pretty sure that he isn’t my “soul mate,” nor even someone that I want to spend years of my time with. Sounds weird to say, since he’s incredibly attractive, he’s smart, he pays for dates, etc. but I just don’t feel SOLID with him. Mystery is a good thing, but too much mystery – not knowing where the other person is at, or what they are about – its unsettling.

    Meanwhile, I met the CUTEST guy in the park today. Seriously, the cutest. I got my sandwich & set out to find a place to sit for lunch. It was a nice day, so a lot of the benches were taken. Except for this one, and I was happy to see that there was a cute Indian guy sitting on the next bench (yay ; ). And he was eating a sandwich, too. So awesome.

    And I was leaning back, and feeling my senses and being all sireny, and just wondering when he was going to say something to me. And there was this squirrel, which was going around, posing for pictures, and generally amusing everyone. The guy still wasn’t talking to me, and I heard Carol Allen’s voice in my ear, like sometimes you just have to start the conversation. If you let it go and “hope” he’ll talk to you, he might not. But I didn’t just want to say something silly.

    Well, wouldn’t you know it, the squirrel did something cute. It took a piece of food out of a little girl’s hand, and I laughed and said, did he see it? He didn’t, but we started talking, and he was so super friendly. I loved it when we shook hands – his were soft and warm, and I have him my card.

    I walked away, feeling confident and fulfilled. I have him the opportunity to call me, if he feels like it, and I’m unattached to the outcome. I just feel happy that I said something. But it caws nice to connect about a third thing. So I wasn’t just “hitting” on him – though I did think he was cute.

    Oh yeah, and I think he’s about ten years younger than me. Lol

    Cougar time!

    Rowr



  317.  #317Lisa on August 14, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    @Tereana You go girl! cougar time is awesome!

    I went out with “M2” tonight… keeping in mind what Rori says… he is generous! Kept asking how I was doing, if I wanted anything…. dinner was great! he ordered me appitizer, entree and extra side dish.. and then ask me if I wanted dessert.. “M” always answered for me… or got one dessert and had to split it…

    This guy even told me… that if I was paying for a sitter, he wanted to pay for it.. he said, I don’t want you to pay for a sitter, OK? WOW I had one other man offer to do that for me…

    I can already tell the difference in this “M2” b/c he is easy going, doesn’t have to be right, doesn’t have to be in charge… isn’t overbearing….. just generous… affectionate, though he didn’t kiss me yet… and that is ok, I’m not ready for that yet…

    just relaxed… and the connection isn’t there yet… but we’ll see…. I feel looking into his eyes.. it might be… something down the road…

    for now… just fun! no attachment…

    but so much different than / tons different than “M”…

    the whole give to get thing just isn’t there with this new guy… I can just feel it…

    Just saying… I feel the difference

    OXOXO



  318.  #318Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    306 aw Tereana, I like your story about the park and meeting the Indian guy! 🙂 hehehe…
    2 of my CDs are Indian but one is the guy I mentioned above (exoticCD., so he’s kind of out…
    The other is cityCD and we have a lot of chemistry but I think he just wants sex or doesn’t know what he wants.
    I need to meet more guys. Maybe I will bring my sandwich to the park this weekend,,, 😉



  319.  #319Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    307 lisa
    The guy sounds nice!



  320.  #320Erika Awakening on August 14, 2013 at 9:01 pm

    So I’m kinda wondering … since I started doing nothing, I’ve been invited twice already to these media appearances. So basically God took care of that. Today she said it went so well, would I like to be on the show again?

    It wouldn’t take but one really big break media-wise for all my business conundrums right now to be solved … and I’ve never felt called to “make that happen” … I mean, God is so much better at orchestrating such things than I am …



  321.  #321Indigo on August 14, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    Tereana 304

    Thank you 🙂 xx

    It was a very scary, very challenging, but ultimately very empowering thing to do which brought about the change I wanted.



  322.  #322Indigo on August 14, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I didn’t used to enjoy giving blowjobs with other guys – I didn’t like the taste, the sensation or the slightly “debased” feeling to it all. It did make me feel disconnected, even made me want to cry a little.

    But with D I feel totally differently about it. I LOVE giving bj’s, there is a very warm, gentle, intimate pleasure coming from him when I do it which I have grown to love and consequently grown to love the taste and sensation of it. I think because there is a pleasure feedback loop between us, it seems to bring us a little closer during lovemaking. He also NEVER expects it or asks for it, which helps.

    x



  323.  #323Indigo on August 14, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    Lisa 307

    That sounds so lovely!



  324.  #324Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    I am going to practice roris tools tomorrow, and also take note of when I feel nervous or feel the need to fill the silence…and remain silent, breathe, waterwheel, anchor myself to the earth and melt…



  325.  #325Emerson on August 14, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    310 yay Erika!

    312 indigo
    I know what you mean…it’s only with certain relationships I’ve had that I wanted to do it…



  326.  #326Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    Millie -284 – Yes! I’m glad you said that – I felt the feeling good feeling shift the other day and I thought that I was self-deceptive before. Thank you!



  327.  #327Veronica on August 14, 2013 at 10:36 pm

    For now I sense that I need to understand and believe that the love I’m looking for I have already. That I really have to love me fiercely otherwise I’m just waiting on men all over again. I am the centre of myself – sounds weird to say but for me it’s so important. Maybe that’s why I lean forward – I believe that all good will come if I go there, to him, her, they. Not necessary. What is required is that I am situated, and continue to be situated, in me.

    I feel anxious that I’m going to slip back again.

    What I’m bumping up against is the issue of contact. Again. I don’t know how often and the kind of contact I would like that would feel enough. Ugh I need to sit with this a bit.

    I’m feeling anxious also about whether I am just being kept so that BM knows he hasn’t lost me (as a friend/whatever). I feel sad about that.

    Rori said something about it just being moments strung together. I believe what I’ve been doing is having the moment, connecting that with a moment of absence and then that with a moment. How could I not yearn with that setup? And the guy could never really miss me if psychically I never left him? Okay so only moments then.

    So to practice I’ll forget him when he is absent with the phrase ‘I am the centre of me’.

    I honestly don’t know what I would do without this blog.

    ‘I am the centre of me.’



  328.  #328Millie on August 14, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    Wow I missed the exchange on giving men oral…..
    I absolutely love giving and receiving oral…to me it is very intimate and a step towards ultimate intimacy. I don’t think of it as a “blow job,” to me it feels more like pleasure. I love doing it. The exception would be I would not enjoy doing it if I was forced or expected to. When it is of my own free will….then yes!

    I was actually going to post before I scrolled through what I missed that I hate leaving voicemails on men’s phones! Does anyone else feel that way?? I love it when they leave a message, but if I am returning their call, I really don’t like leaving a message back. I don’t know why because it bugs me when people call me and don’t leave a message. I guess if you are responding to a call a voicemail is not necessary…. I don’t know I am just rambling.



  329.  #329Zia on August 14, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    318 Millie – that’s how I feel about it too 🙂



  330.  #330Zia on August 14, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    All this talk about it makes me wish I had a FWB!!



  331.  #331Millie on August 14, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    Haha Zia! I know the feeling, FWB sounds good in theory, but in reality…..hmmm…..it may be just as if not more complicated than other types of relationships.



  332.  #332Millie on August 14, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    @Veronica– I don’t really know your story…but I can share that I’ve questioned myself too about how much contact and so forth….if he is initiating it, then maybe take it at a case by case basis. I found that I create my own anxiousness by saying “never” or “always” or making rules for myself that I could not or am not ready to follow. If he asks you out and you feel like going, go. If he asks you out and you feel unsure that day, then say no. I do believe Rori is right in saying that it is moment to moment. That’s not necessarily a bad thing… Just maybe after X amount of moments you may want to re-assess if saying yes to this man is worth your time. For me, I’m not in a rush to get married, but I have been feeling lately like I want the best relationship possible. I’m done with excuses and over-analyzing…not that I don’t care, but I do feel like saying- whatever man, I’m on my path with or without you.



  333.  #333Zia on August 15, 2013 at 12:36 am

    321 Millie – Yes I know, it can be! I wish I could sleep with a guy without getting attached but I don’t think I can 😉



  334.  #334Zia on August 15, 2013 at 12:36 am

    321 Millie – Yes I know, it can be! I wish I could sleep with a guy without getting attached but I don’t think I can 😉



  335.  #335Veronica on August 15, 2013 at 1:42 am

    Millie – I like what you said ‘whatever man, I’m on my path with or without you.’

    I found what you said relaxing and soothing. I’ve told him that after a couple of months we could see whether what is happening is worth continuing. I think I’m devoting too much energy to this.



  336.  #336Veronica on August 15, 2013 at 1:43 am

    *what you said:



  337.  #337Linda on August 15, 2013 at 5:01 am

    I cant seem to connect with this post. My siren??? seems buried.

    I have been feeling out of sync with myself too. I was so focused and on track at the beginning of the year.

    Today I feel wishy washy inside, unable to be decisive and sorta numb. Lately one thing after another is breaking at my home( big ticket items)… needing repair. I do not have the financial resourses to keep up and I just feel overwhelmed and discouraged. At times I find myself flooded with thoughts of disapproval of myself… for ending my passionless marriage because I would not be living under these kinds of pressures. I know that is not the answer but the desire to escape the growing feeling of failure. Failure to secure what I want and the life I want. It feels like a pendulm swinging and I am living in the unbalanced extreme uncomfortable outer edges of the swing. I feel unsettled and have been pushing down a fear that I will not be able to secure a settled life again.

    It is just that I want a settled and passionate life and love. They are both equally important and I dont want to have to pick between the t



  338.  #338Luzydel on August 15, 2013 at 5:06 am

    I am getting involved in a ‘relationship’ that has no future promises. I know I am risking a lot here, but I know I will also gain a lot. I feel drawn to him, and it is not old patterns, it is something different.

    I will write about it more here, and this is a new ‘experiment’, going on a different route. Love and happiness are a journey not a destination.

    just following RR’s advice and push myself a little…



  339.  #339Linda on August 15, 2013 at 5:31 am

    In the midst of my unsettled life… there is one thing that I have kept on track and feel good about. I stayed true to my convictions about my living arrangement inspite of all my pressures. FavoriteCD’s lease is up in September and had been hinting… pointing out financial advantages…that would come with living together. He had been asking over the last few weeks, would you live someone again? My answer has been the same from the first day we discussed it (not long after we me)…. No, not without marriage.

    He mentioned in a converstation on the phone Monday that he had run errands and went to the office and signed his new lease. I felt instant relief from that portion of my life…and it did not cost our relationship to keep my life on track . SMILES



  340.  #340Hana on August 15, 2013 at 6:00 am

    Wow ladies! I just got a little caught up with the comments, it is a very candid and fun discussion 🙂

    Feminine Woman, do you really think it’s healthy for me to put myself in the line of fire like that?? I guess I’m doing really well so maybe it’ll be ok, but I really don’t know if I feel so brave to do it. I thought maybe out of sight out of mind? But if I really want to go somewhere you are right I should do it without worrying about bumping into him especially with a script already prepared.

    Xoxo



  341.  #341Femininewoman on August 15, 2013 at 6:28 am

    Hana my thinking is I have got to decide if I am playing the star role as the leading character in my life or if I am just a supporting character. If I am the leading character then I get to call the shots. Why should I cringe in the small crevices of the world worried about being other people? I am the one who affect others not the other way around.



  342.  #342Emerson on August 15, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Hi sirens I hope you all have a great day!
    I had a friend tell me to only imagine wonderful things for the future, that’s what I’m doing :-))



  343.  #343Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 9:31 am

    @Indigo Thanks! 🙂 moving forward… 🙂

    @Emerson We’ll see so far Yes! 🙂 Thank you!

    OXOX

    On the subject of BJ’s “M” did want it everytime.. he did ask a few times.. but in a kind of honey, can I have a little somethin, somethin, for me… or he’d lay on his back and get in position for it…

    I liked doing it with him ( more so than any man I’ve ever been with) so I did it b/c I wanted to and liked it… and I was real clear on that I was choosing it… and I could have been victim to his wanting it and fell under that spell… but I didn’t… and if I didn’t want to give it… I’d say no.. but I have to say, that there is fine line between a Man being a MAN ( and being blatant about what they want in sex and usually asking for it point blank or putting your hand there etc.) and expecting it to the point of being inwardly upset or resentful if they don’t get it… or not giving to you b/c you didn’t give to them, that is where for me, it b/c passive / aggressive and unacceptable.

    It really is a shame it didn’t work out with him.. I had so much more going on in other ways.. and sex was a wonderful part of that… but I don’t stay in a relationship b/c the sex is good…

    Hopefully I’ll find another man that I’ll enjoy BJ with as much as “M”…

    OXOXO



  344.  #344Erika Awakening on August 15, 2013 at 9:35 am

    It’s interesting how I feel so much better about the touch I receive in paid bodywork. I love the explicit agreement. I love that aside from the money I pay, nothing is expected from me and I can receive purely. If I’m honest with myself, I have never liked all the “assumptions” and “unspoken agreements” that I found in special relationships about what the “price” was going to be if I wanted to receive a massage or whatever else …



  345.  #345Erika Awakening on August 15, 2013 at 9:38 am

    and if I’m going to receive Reiki, I like paying for it and receiving it in a professional way. Getting it for free and then being ambushed with “your astral self asked me if I thought you would be a worthy bride” … really did not feel good at all …



  346.  #346Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 9:40 am

    @Erika

    “What I’m finding is that all the self-doubt and second guessing myself only exist when I believe the special relationship is something worth having that I am messing up. ”

    I found that to be true too with “M” when I thought he was the “one” ( and that I was messing it up) then I had all that stuff come up and negative feelings, frustrations and feelings of remorse, needing to apologize, make it better. Then when I realized he wasn’t…. they went away…

    Nice!

    OXOXO



  347.  #347Indigo on August 15, 2013 at 9:44 am

    Millie 318

    That’s also how I feel about it 🙂

    Re: voicemails. I hate leaving voicemails, but what I hate even more than leaving voicemails is receiving voicemails. My entire body recoils when my phone tells me I have a new voice message and I feel absolutely cringey listening to my voice messages. If a guy leaves me a voice message I find it a turn-off. I’m not entirely sure why 🙂 though it could have something to do with my dislike of the phone.



  348.  #348Indigo on August 15, 2013 at 9:56 am

    (((Veronica)))

    You may find your desire for contact ebbs and flows with time – this is how it is for me. At some times in your life you might desire more contact, and at other times less, and it may also change and become more secure as you get older.

    I agree with what Millie said about rules creating anxiousness… I really just prefer to flow and see where the energy of things seems to be taking me when it comes to contact (that is, with someone I’ve known or been with for a while). I find it works better and makes me more relaxed.



  349.  #349Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    This came to me in a newsletter today it really hit home for me…. :

    “We all say we’d do anything for love – but
    really, most of the time we’re just pushing love
    away.

    We all do it in different styles – Some of us
    are stand-offish, some of us seem always angry,some of us are so sure we’ll never find Mr.Right we send out negative vibes before we even say Hi”

    Some of us feel so clingy we go the other way
    and pretend we don’t care.

    Some of us want things so badly we try too
    hard, offer too much, make every man we date our whole world.

    And the ways we’ve learned to try and look
    “cool” seem to backfire in our faces.

    We look for “rules.” We look for ways to look,
    speak and behave that will get us what we want.

    Well, we need “rules” all right, but not
    someone else’s – we need our OWN rules!

    If we’re all so afraid of getting close to a
    man – to letting him see us for real, how we are
    at our best and also how we are at our worst (or
    what we think is our worst – not necessarily the
    same thing), then how do we break this cycle and allow a good mane into our heart? ”

    For me it is letting go of the fear of rejection, the fear of being truly loved for who I am, and to learn to be REAL with men all the time… which is what I feel Rori and Dominique teach… at least to the best of my understanding… correct me, if I’m wrong…

    and I’m the one that wants it so badly that I try too hard, love too much, offer too much and make the man my whole world ( well except for my children who come first)… that’s me… and I suppose that pushes them away… which I’m considering the fact that is what I’m trying to do subconsciously…

    OXOXO



  350.  #350Erika Awakening on August 15, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    For me, what I’m noticing is that “push away” is part and parcel of the special relationship. Some people like me overtly push away in these situations, now I am seeing this is a lot about maintaining my freedom. Some people live together but essentially worlds apart. ACIM talks about this “living under the same roof but worlds apart” very explicitly.

    There are lots of men I could have married and had that kind of relationship. I’m gonna love my standoffishness as what I’m seeing it as now … a doorway into something entirely new …



  351.  #351Dominique on August 15, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Lisa – 339 – And looking at this in another way, trying too hard is not being REAL which is exactly what we teach, yet first you want to find who that real woman is in there.

    xxoo



  352.  #352Mercedes on August 15, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    I love my note from the universe today:

    Usually, the best way to find the yellow brick road of your life, Mercedes, is to start out on the dusty, dirt one.

    And then let yourself become so preoccupied in making the best of it, having fun, and challenging yourself that you actually stop paying attention to the path.

    Until, one day, not so long from now, with a new best friend, wearing cool clothes, feeling awesome, a teeny tiny bit taller, fresh from a WOW vacation, looking for the path you just left, you’ll notice that it’s 24 carats… baby.

    And you’ll wonder for a long, long time, sipping on some exotic fruit drink, when the transformation actually took place…

    Tripping,
    The Universe



  353.  #353Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    @Dominique

    I feel in the beginning of a relationship/ in the early dating period… I’m myself b/c I don’t have any attachment… to him anything to lose…. then the more attached or in Love I become the more I tend to recede… at least that is my feelings about what happens…

    still pondering it…

    Thanks so much for that insight….

    it made me cry… 🙂
    OXOX



  354.  #354Smile on August 15, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Hi sirens,
    Wow I’ve missed this wonderful little community. I am feeling so grateful right now. I’ve been in a relationship nearly 10months now with amb. And I can honestly say I am feeling so secure in myself that fun and happiness is shining out of me like sunbeams



  355.  #355Smile on August 15, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Hm, I wonder where the rest of my post went? It was quite long but I felt a sense of peace writing out all my reflections. can part of a post go into moderation?



  356.  #356Zia on August 15, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    Really noticing peoples’ anger. And especially after reading the Queens Code, I really notice when women emasculate men. It’s so interesting being on this side of the fence.



  357.  #357Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    @Zia

    I have that e-book and finding it really hard to read… I wish there were a bulleted highlights somewhere… I get sleepy reading the story line…

    Did you finish it?

    can you recommend which chapters are the best to read?

    OXOX



  358.  #358Zia on August 15, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    Lisa – you mean the queens code? i can’t really remember which chapters had the best lessons, I found it a little uninspired but easy to read so I just ploughed through the whole thing. A lot of it just compliments what Rori teaches but kind of gives examples by way of a story..



  359.  #359Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    My therapist brought up a subject to me today…” Wounded Self Love”… and how the wounded self, takes care of itself, thinking it is loving itself, when it is really the wounded self … not our true self that is taking care of us…

    as long as we are acting out of the wounded self our interpretations of how to take care of us, is clouded… I TOTALLY can see this!!

    As soon as the words came out of her mouth, I had to do more research on it… I was like Ah HA!

    http://www.innerbonding.com/show-article/466/you-are-not-your-wounded-self.html

    I found this article…

    even when I’m thinking I’m loving myself, I want to ask myself which part of me is Loving me… my wounded self or my true essence

    b/c my wounded self might think “I’m loving myself” when if I look deeper… I might find I’m not…

    just saying it out loud ….. just thinking…

    OXOXO



  360.  #360Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    @ Zia Yes the Queens Code….

    Oh ok… I’m having a hard time plugging along in it…

    thanks!

    OXOXO



  361.  #361Lisa on August 15, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    “Let your teacher be LOVE itself.”
    ~Rumi

    This made me cry…..

    I love this one too:

    “Seeking keeps you from the awareness that you already have what you want” Byron Katie



  362.  #362Indigo on August 15, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Mercedes 342

    That note conjures up for me that there is no “there” to get to, that wherever we are “right now” is exactly what we can work with. I love this.

    For so long I thought I had to be a certain kind of “together”, feel a certain way, for healing to take place. Now I know that exactly what I’m feeling right now, exactly where I am right now, is exactly where I need to be. And how you feel and where you are can transform right before your very eyes into wonder and happiness and goodness and beauty.



  363.  #363Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 1:32 am

    I’m so triggered by this contact issue. I feel like it touches a raw nerve with me. I assume that people mean what they say – there is no obligation for them to say things like they wanted contact. And yet I’m left wondering what they meant or if I understood correctly or if we have different understandings of desire for contact. This has been a very long standing issue with me. I had a horrible experience a couple of years ago that was very damaging to me. A friend that I lived down the road from would repeatedly postpone or intimate that we would spend time together – I would suggest many different ways of spending time that wouldn’t take up much of her time. Eventually I ran out of ideas. After 11 months of that I finally got the chance to spend some time with her and a whole 5min. conversation. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong – there was no indication on her part that she wanted to be left alone, or wasn’t in the mood. It was always ‘I think in about two months after this event we can do this’ and then I would hear nothing. I can’t read the ‘signs’ or the ‘vibe’. I can’t tell you how much that messed me up. Am I supposed to mistrust what people say? Are they just being ‘nice’? How am I supposed to know the difference? Are their words deceptive for the sake of being nice or avoiding uncomfortable situations? How am I supposed to know that? If things had changed why wasn’t I told, or at least not strung along?

    And now when anybody tells me they had a great time or they want to hang out again I don’t believe them. When someone compliments me I have difficulty accepting what they’re saying. People specifically ask me to keep in contact and when I do I don’t get any reply. Why on earth would someone ask if they had no intention of responding? There is no obligation. What’s wrong with saying ‘This was fun.’ Why the promise? I feel so disrespected when that happens, and so duped.
    These are not people who said these things when we had just met. These are people with whom I had worked, have mutual friends, went to school; I’ve met their family, they’ve shared their feelings and situations with me. And then there’s this that happens. There is no obligation.

    There are other people that I’ve become close with that do keep in contact, that I meet up with and hang out with. But that fear of being duped is there and I just can’t be myself fully with them and I can’t accept as openly and as enthusiastically what they give to me. I really don’t want to go through the pain again. It’s as though everything becomes cheapened, even emotions. It’s as though I shouldn’t believe. I have so much hurt with this.



  364.  #364Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 1:34 am

    Indigo – 338 – Your words feel like a hug, especially the part about letting things flow and seeing where the energy goes. Could you tell me more about contact becoming ‘more secure as you get older’?



  365.  #365Sophie on August 16, 2013 at 2:09 am

    Veronica – I have a confusing time with this too – I have had friends who have just zoned out of my life and I’ve had to find acceptance around the fact that for some reason they don’t want our friendship anymore, other friends who have actually ostracised me from groups and then some that ebb and flow but the connection is always there. I feel very confused and rather than feel the hurt I think I feel resentment and that distances the relationship even more

    I was going to write yesterday about things feeling good and supportive with the man in my life and then we had an evening that didn’t. I don’t know If I was feeling more sensitive or if we both were but I felt criticised and unappreciated and by the time he left I just felt angry and p’d off. I felt like I was doing everything in my power to placate an argument – whats that about? underlying anger? Maybe we need space we’ve seen each other a lot recently but when it feels blergh like that then I start feeling withdrawn and wondering If maybe we’re not a match etc – how do I know what’s not a match and what’s trigger stuff that could be worked through? I feel so sensitive to criticism I feel like I would prefer to just be left alone than ever criticised. It wonder about the underlying anger thing it is like he feels he makes loads of compromises for me and I feel like I make loads of compromises for him and I don’t feel recognised for what he does for me and he doesn’t feel recognised for what I do for him

    then I wonder about the doing thing…shall I just stop doing anything at all…I do feel unappreciated I do feel like F you then I’ll go and find someone who appreciates me (and i wouldnt be surprised if he said the same thing to me don’t i realise how much he does for me) I feel tangled up in knots what is this being played out??? I dont ever want to have to apologise for being myself…how do i look at my stuff in this?



  366.  #366Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 6:01 am

    Sophie – I’m sorry you had an awful evening. I feel the frustration and bewilderment in your situation. Hugs to you. It seems intense and shaky especially the focus on compromises.

    Oh yes the resentment – I did that for a while too. Mostly I was stunned. I remember thinking, ‘I have to choose godparents for my future-children from these people?’ Then I became angry, because if this is what they do to me that I know of, what will they do to my children when I’m not looking or when I’m not even there?



  367.  #367Mercedes on August 16, 2013 at 6:15 am

    Indigo: Yes…I think that too! I am right where I’m supposed to be in this moment so I make sure I’m happy in this moment. As the note says, I don’t even know when or where the transformation happened…

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  368.  #368Sophie on August 16, 2013 at 6:28 am

    thanks for the response Veronica i feel validated which I don’t feel when I don’t know what’s going on with friends and I don’t feel when situations are made to be about me without responsibility being taken on the other side as is what happened this morning – it is me who is complex apparently – no actually his behaviour sucked and i felt angry and unappreciated! i need to do some scripting cos right now the feelings of mine are falling on deaf ears and i find it very difficult not to get pulled in to who did what x moving over to the new post x bless rori and her dog xxx



  369.  #369Femininewoman on August 16, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Veronica/Sophie – a guy who I withdrew from recently came by the house today and he was complaining about contact. He said I dropped him like a bad habit and said “you don’t treat your people like that”. We used to talk everyday and it got to feeling overwhelming. I told him I busied him out and he said I should have said I am feeling tired and too busy to connect. I didn’t let it get under my skin he is my friend and I didn’t feel any anger from him. As a matter of fact I stuck something in his mouth for him to taste in the middle of it all and we were just as good as ever. We experience each other as friends but I am not looking for friendship with men right now and want my space to be clear for someone to come into and I don’t want to confuse my habit behaviors to go into platonic friendship when that should happen.



  370.  #370Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 7:01 am

    Hi sirens,
    I’ve been feeling a change coming on… Mainly of how I treat myself…. I am going to treat myself better….what I eat, what I accept from others, what I do for work, etc. I refuse to take abuse.



  371.  #371Sophie on August 16, 2013 at 7:24 am

    I like that FW – I feel the clearness in your decision and the self confidence that comes with that – I feel happy that there were no bad vibes with your friend that it remained a friendship

    In my comments I was thinking about girlfriends (I know confusing sorry!) and how it can be painful when they faze you out for one reason or another – I guess (sad as it seems) I expect it much more from men – my whole theme at the moment I think is confusion between where it’s my stuff and where it’s their stuff both with regards to these types of life events and with regards to me. I don’t want to take on so much responsibility all the time but I also am happy to take responsibility should it be something I need to know and I feel happy to change…I feel sad not knowing the difference between the two…very confused



  372.  #372Sophie on August 16, 2013 at 7:25 am

    that should say with regards to men not with regards to me



  373.  #373Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 8:37 am

    359 FW I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing, as always! I’m not looking for friendship either ….
    I’m working on being clearer with what I want and very specific!



  374.  #374Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 8:40 am

    Sophie I understand what you mean I feel confused sometimes too… But I’ve learned it’s at times hard for me to be completely honest with myself….and that’s when I feel the confusion. If I’m really raw and authentic, the cloud clears..

    On another note…I’m mixing up my routine and going to another coffee shop every week… Practicing my tools…



  375.  #375Lisa on August 16, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Rori says:

    “We see ourselves as “conveniences” and so we seek out men who see us as conveniences.”

    “We see ourselves as objects, and so we seek out men who see us as objects.”

    I want to know how I do this… How do I see myself as a Convenience? as an Object?

    I feel blind on this …. I need a second set of eyes… I just can’t seem to see how and what I do to create this….

    OXOXO



  376.  #376Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 8:56 am

    FW -359 – What you said makes total sense to me. A man who is not your husband/life partner and will not be your husband/life partner cannot have all that time and all that contact. I feel good just hearing about making space for that guy to enter your life.

    And you must be some siren to have a man chat to you everyday and be upset that he hasn’t heard from you. I like that it means enough for him to say something.

    I have yet to meet a guy who does that with me.

    I may not have been clear in my post. I was referring to people who specifically asked me to keep in contact (i.e. it was not a casual request) and of whom I ask very little contact time.



  377.  #377Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Sophie – 358 – Hugs to you



  378.  #378Sophie on August 16, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Yes Emerson – I think I’m so used to facing conflict and battle whenever I express how I truly feel and of not being heard just being told I’m wrong or I’m complicated or I’m something or other that I squash it sometimes so as to keep the peace 🙁 That feels sad I don’t know how to change it with out all h*ll breaking lose 🙁 I really don’t

    Lisa – do you think you’ve attracted men who see you as a convenience and an object?



  379.  #379Mercedes on August 16, 2013 at 9:01 am

    There’s another thread up but I stopped back here quick to read this morning and I just want to say..Emerson…I love you comment 360. It sounds so powerful and strong. 🙂 I was like “Yeah!!!”

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  380.  #380Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Sophie and FW and Indigo – Thank you so much for hearing me out – just knowing that helps me feel better. I feel acknowledged just by being heard.



  381.  #381Femininewoman on August 16, 2013 at 9:51 am

    RE 365 – Lisa I remember Elsie saying her relationship with GS was convenient and I remember how perturbed the statement made me feel. I couldn’t help but wonder why he would put in the work when it was not convenient for him when it was just a relationship of convenience. It really bothered me to read “it is convenient. The end”.



  382.  #382Indigo on August 16, 2013 at 10:10 am

    Veronica 354

    I feel very glad that my words were comforting.

    I was meaning, that you may find, if you allow safety and security to seep into your relationships, that you have less anxiety around contact as time goes on. Regular or irregular contact may affect you less than it once did, and what will matter will be the bond between the two of you. I can’t say that this would happen with everyone, but this seems to be happening more and more with me. The amount of contact means less than it once did. Not that it isn’t lovely and welcome when it comes and when it happens, but I don’t feel the same kind of stress in between contact. My focus is more on the energy of the relationship, and this can be expressed in both silence and contact.



  383.  #383Indigo on August 16, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Veronica

    I’ve just read your post 353.

    ((hugs))

    Maybe the thing to remember is that this very likely has nothing to do with you. Or perhaps it does, in the sense that you care so much about it. But this is people’s own stuff – their thoughtlessness, or more likely, the things going on in their lives. Don’t let it stop you being exactly who you are, and expressing who you are, in all your warmth, whether you perceive their responses as rejection or not… Maybe try to think of it as, I was being me, and their responses are none of my business.

    Something I learned to do was to let it go instantly when people didn’t respond or didn’t reciprocate to my gestures of contact or friendship. I’d not take it personally and I’d move on. There are 7 billion people on the planet and lots of things to do! 🙂



  384.  #384Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 12:05 pm

    Sirens I resisted leaning forward with a cd and literally out the phone down…
    2 minutes later he contacted me….



  385.  #385Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    351
    I like this Lisa!
    We already have what we want….
    So true!



  386.  #386Tereana on August 16, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    Lisa – I’m a little late in getting back to this, but the guy in 307 sounds so nice! Offering to pay for the sitter is huge. But I think my favorite part is where you described him as affectionate but not overbearing (or something like that). I hope you have another date with him! : )



  387.  #387Tereana on August 16, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    Linda – 327: I like your image of the pendulum. And it made me think of the idea that what that really means is that it will swing the other way some time. You’re not “stuck” where you are right now & it’s not permanent. 🙂 Even a happy, relaxed relationship isn’t rosy all the time…

    Erika – 335: eeeeewwww. That sounds super creepy



  388.  #388Tereana on August 16, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    Emerson – 374: I love when that happens!! :-)!

    Btw, I haven’t heard from my cute guy in the park (CGitP?) yet. But…I realized that, if I am to be a successful ‘cougar’ (lol), then I need to have total confidence. Just the idea of the thought of, “oh I hope he’ll contact me” feels like such desperation, and also out of place. Of COURSE he wants to contact me. Maybe he will. Maybe he won’t.

    He’s going to contact me. I can feel it. And I’m excited about it. I’m curious, and I’m looking forward to it.

    I may be cougar-ish, but I’m also a ‘catch.’ I’ve been telling myself lately that I “get better with age” – à la a fine wine. Or a delicious cheese. That makes me feel good 🙂 and it feels accurate. I ripen and get better every day. There are so many good qualities that I have that he’d be ridiculous not to contact me! But it’s okay either way.

    My favorite part of the whole experience was just that I could feel my heart being really open, even before I met him that day. I was thinking about T, and how getting those feelings out in the open has allowed me to release, as I walked through the park.

    Even before I wrote to T, earlier this summer, I also let go of a lot of attachment feelings I was holding onto from my former engagement. That’s been really holding me back a lot.

    So now, without those two things weighing me down, I feel so much lighter and freer. I felt relaxed when I met CGtiP. And that gives me even more confidence.

    It will be fun to hear from him. I wonder what will happen??? 🙂



  389.  #389Erika Awakening on August 16, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    I saw today as another opportunity for healing. I tapped through a bunch of grief and a little frustration about feeling unheard in the world … feeling alone in my commitment to no more death …

    And as I tapped and tapped, light began to come in … and I saw as usual it wasn’t about any specific person … it’s happening to heal relationships with a whole bunch of people and with myself … and I began to see everyone, even the recent guy and my ex, in the light …

    So I feel appreciative of today … and of how I learned with my cat that if I were willing to go deep enough into my feelings, I could reverse even seeming “inevitable death” … and I expect that as I let my judgments of myself and others go, that the opportunities will finally begin to arise where I can teach how to do this to others … and I won’t feel so alone in this anymore …



  390.  #390Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    Had a nice time with friends tonight, but I’m haunted by this feeling like “nobody really loves me” and I know that’s silly…
    I miss having a lover and a friend to come home to…
    Sometimes I feel sad about it !
    I also got my vision boards out and I’m going to look at them every morning! I know I can shift this loneliness but I also know it’s ok to acknowledge how I feel.



  391.  #391Veronica on August 16, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    Indigo – Thank you! I’m going to try what you said – ‘being me and their response is none of my business’ and ‘letting it go instantly’. I really want to shift this for myself because it’s exhausting.



  392.  #392Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    CityloverCD (formerly cityCD) has contacted me sporadically but doesn’t solidify plans. Whatevs.
    in other news, i factored out exoticCD permanently…as per th le oral s3x controversy discussed previously …
    Today I was planning in my mind how I can be more true to myself… Diet and exercise … Things I want and don’t want, and remaining true to those things …



  393.  #393Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    Oh and wanting to be with a man who likes to eat pu55y is important to me!! Lol yes it is a dealbreaker… Thank you Daria for inspiring me to be brave enough to say this. 😉



  394.  #394Emerson on August 16, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    378 tereana yes you are catch!
    I’m going to try something new tomorrow… I’m going to eat lunch in the park!



  395.  #395Erika Awakening on August 17, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Our feelings are so powerful … that we can change physical “reality” by going all the way into them … We can change outcomes from sad ones to happy ones.

    What I notice is that I have feelings and beliefs about other people that I need to shift. I don’t believe other people can hear me or believe me … My cat’s test results were not improving much at all in the hospital. What made the difference was going deep into my own feelings and beliefs and shifting things there. When I did that, he had a miraculous recovery. All of us have the power to do this, all the time. We don’t have to put up with dismal outcomes anymore. We don’t have to accept loss, aging, death.

    Yet when will people en masse see the value of learning this and commit to learning it and no more death? I need to shift myself around that … I have some pretty dark assumptions and feelings about people and their willingness to learn and invest and commit and serve life.

    Part of me thinks we’d all rather keep ourselves distracted with hopes that the special relationship can ever be anything worth having … while those around us get sick and die … yikes, lot of grief there. Lot of judgment. Looks like another tapping day.



  396.  #396Erika Awakening on August 17, 2013 at 9:38 am

    A woman I met on my travels had a heart attack at 36 or 37. Her doctor told her she needs to go all vegan. I feel so relieved. I have felt sad seeing all the photos of meat that she had been posting and were in my Newsfeed. All I see are animals who had just as much right to live as we do being turned into short-term entertainment. I see a world of people so cut off from their feelings that they don’t feel pain when they eat meat and fish.

    It feels very painful to me that I have not yet manifested a better answer for my cats. It feels very painful to me that most of the human world is still eating meat and not understanding the impact it’s having on their own health and on the health of the planet.



  397.  #397Erika Awakening on August 17, 2013 at 9:40 am

    One of the things I realized in this journey was that I felt horrified about how it seemed like men often turned women into short-term entertainment. Treated us as “disposable.” Then I saw I was doing the same thing by eating meat and fish. That’s one of the reasons why I stopped. If I don’t want to be treated that way, I need to change how I am treating others.



  398.  #398Erika Awakening on August 17, 2013 at 9:48 am

    I have a belief that people don’t want to acknowledge the truth, even when it’s obvious. Like that killing is not okay.

    And I feel overwhelmed about how much belief shifting needs to happen to eliminate death from our daily life (pesticides, antibiotics, all of it).

    I feel overwhelmed imagining myself single-handedly trying to do all the tapping that needs to be done to heal our planet. Because of my belief that other people don’t care. That they are so numb they won’t help me. I really need to shift this. I don’t see how I’m going to do this by myself without a lot of support. Without a lot of people learning what I teach.



  399.  #399Erika Awakening on August 17, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Where I am judging, I need to be honest about this and bring it to conscious awareness so it can be healed. I am judging myself for “going along with” traditional pest control at my house this year. I know it violates all my values and I went along with it anyway. There’s another belief there that my boundaries won’t be respected unless I take homicidal action. Harsh one. Time for more tapping.



  400.  #400LoveAdvocate on August 17, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    Rori, I am so sorry that you lost little Hazel. I know you cared for her deeply and will miss her greatly.



  401.  #401Tereana on August 18, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Emerson 384 – thanks! 🙂