Answer His Why

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Here’s a letter from Sara – with some basic questions and a frustrating situation:

“Rori, When you’re talking about expressing yourself emotionally — then after you say how you feel, is it that whatever he does or says is none of our business?

For example, if say I’m frustrated –  and that’s all I say…What if he says ‘Why?

What if he says ‘Is it because of what I just said or did?’

I know it’s better not to tell him what he did wrong…but do I answer – ‘Yes. It’s because you said such and such that I feel frustrated.’ How do we answer that question? Thank you, Sara”

My Answer:

Sara, it’s great for him to ask you “Why?”!

And your answer is about “setting the ‘Context'”:

“…when that happened, I felt….”

If you can – don’t even say the word “you” – and then keep talking in Feeling Messages.

Absolutely do not “explain”.

The last thing in the world a man wants to hear is you “explaining something to him” – which is completely different from “sharing your experience” – which he LOVES!

When you share your experience and Feeling State, without, in any way, accusing him of being the “cause” of your feeling – you create a safe space for deeper and deeper communication – and truth telling.

Essentially – this is all about the TRUTH.

It is absolutely the truth that no one “causes” you to feel something emotionally.

They may be the instigator or cause of an experience – yet, the way we react emotionally to that experience is all ours.

We get to feel what we feel.

We get to react the way we react, and respond the way we want to respond.

AND, we get to express, with full passion and emotion, how we’re feeling, right now, or right then.

In a sense, the only thing he needs to hear is how you’re feeling, and and what you would like to happen now.

He might need to hear your specific request for how he might help you feel better.

I know this sounds complex.

Feeling Messages, and having a conversation with a man that’s tough, and about feelings YOU feel is totally scary.

That’s why we hold back so much on speaking the Truth at all – and when we do, we’ve often waited so long that resentment creeps into our words, and then we don’t get the results we want.

It’s a learning process – truly like learning a whole new language…

A language that requires the incredible, natural bravery of the Feminine Energy you already own!

If you’d like real, live help, with demonstrations and personal coaching in small break-out Zoom rooms with brilliant Siren School coaches Naomie Thompson, Beth Ellen, Natalina Love and guest coach specialists – come to The Feminine Energy Workshop for only $17->

Love, Rori
 

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